ou know those guys who are really smart but pretend to be stupid but then when you look at what they are doing and saying it becomes obvious that they were smart all along and it was you who was stupid for not seeing it? No? Me either. But that’s what makes Dave Carnie so interesting- he is that guy. Anybody who followed the legendary antics of the Big Brother empire, both in print and via video, will need no introduction to it’s key ringleader. Buried deep in the tom-foolery of the adult diaper experiments, his published obsession with his cat Gary, and certainly the “Me Skateboard” saga, were these artistic gems that oscillated wildly (you like that, Dave?) between elementary school bathroom humor and profound, philosophically advanced insights into the human condition. Quite alluring, really. Despite the fact that the magazine ceased publishing many moons past, the legacy lives on, and Dave has recently done us the service of collecting a huge portfolio of his written work from the magazine and publishing it in book form: behold Boob, Carnie’s epic tome culled from the depths of his salad days at BB. Enjoy an interview with Dave, some of his favorite youtube links, and a hefty teaser from his book…
First of all, why did you feel the need to publish a book of your already published writing from Big Brother? Ensuring your place in history? Literary masturbation? Applying to grad school?
All of those things, kind of. I just wanted to put my 14 years of writing for Big Brother all in one place and see what it looked like. For one thing, a lot of this stuff doesn’t exist anymore except maybe behind the toilet of a hardcore Big Brother fan. All covered in pee. It’s also my way of being done with Big Brother. It ended rather abruptly and I don’t think it got a proper send off. So I just kind of collected up all my little scraps and pieces, all the jibber jabber and nonsense, and swept it up into a neat little pile. I think it also functions as a rather peculiar historical skateboard document. I don’t know if my book is successful, I’ll leave that to others to decide, but of the few skateboard books that are out there, the ones I like the most are the ones that take a really narrow look at their own little cross section of skateboarding; like the Indy book, and the DC book. I think they give a better historical perspective of skateboarding than any objective attempt does. Ultimately that’s what this is: it’s what skateboarding looked like to me during the 14 years I was at Big Brother. And I have a little dick. So I had to put out a big book.
How did you end up at Big Brother? Did you have any previous writing skill or desire?
I’ve been infatuated with reading and writing for as long as I can remember. I made a book when I was a child. I made a ‘zine all through high school in the ‘80s. It’s kind of embarrassing now to look at, but you can kind of see a style and voice emerging in that early writing. In college I minored in philosophy and almost double minored in writing/literature, but the latter would have required another year of school and I was over it. I took as many writing and literature classes as time would allow each semester. But I majored in photography and that’s how I got in with Big Brother. I don’t remember the exact sequence of events, but it was probably through Chris Pontius and Thomas Campbell (and maybe Andy Jenkins?) that I was introduced to Jeff Tremaine, Cliver, and McKee. We all had art in one of Aaron Rose’s first skate art shows in Hollywood in like 1990 or something. They liked my work, and so in the second issue they printed a photo of Pontius that I shot. And from there I became a regular contributor. Although I didn’t write anything until issue 16. And that’s when the floodgates opened.
All of those things, kind of. I just wanted to put my 14 years of writing for Big Brother all in one place and see what it looked like. For one thing, a lot of this stuff doesn’t exist anymore except maybe behind the toilet of a hardcore Big Brother fan. All covered in pee. It’s also my way of being done with Big Brother. It ended rather abruptly and I don’t think it got a proper send off. So I just kind of collected up all my little scraps and pieces, all the jibber jabber and nonsense, and swept it up into a neat little pile. I think it also functions as a rather peculiar historical skateboard document. I don’t know if my book is successful, I’ll leave that to others to decide, but of the few skateboard books that are out there, the ones I like the most are the ones that take a really narrow look at their own little cross section of skateboarding; like the Indy book, and the DC book. I think they give a better historical perspective of skateboarding than any objective attempt does. Ultimately that’s what this is: it’s what skateboarding looked like to me during the 14 years I was at Big Brother. And I have a little dick. So I had to put out a big book.
How did you end up at Big Brother? Did you have any previous writing skill or desire?
I’ve been infatuated with reading and writing for as long as I can remember. I made a book when I was a child. I made a ‘zine all through high school in the ‘80s. It’s kind of embarrassing now to look at, but you can kind of see a style and voice emerging in that early writing. In college I minored in philosophy and almost double minored in writing/literature, but the latter would have required another year of school and I was over it. I took as many writing and literature classes as time would allow each semester. But I majored in photography and that’s how I got in with Big Brother. I don’t remember the exact sequence of events, but it was probably through Chris Pontius and Thomas Campbell (and maybe Andy Jenkins?) that I was introduced to Jeff Tremaine, Cliver, and McKee. We all had art in one of Aaron Rose’s first skate art shows in Hollywood in like 1990 or something. They liked my work, and so in the second issue they printed a photo of Pontius that I shot. And from there I became a regular contributor. Although I didn’t write anything until issue 16. And that’s when the floodgates opened.
In retrospect it seems kind of obvious that something like what you did was missing from skateboarding publications, but what made you think it would be a good idea to write about totally unrelated-to-skating topics, like your cat or adult diapers?
I remember having a party at my apartment in San Francisco in the early ‘90s and a bunch of the big heads in the SF scene came, most notably Jake and Arco. I didn’t know what to put on the stereo, but I thought Iron Maiden would be a good choice. Who doesn’t like Maiden? Well, apparently Jake and Arco don’t like Maiden. And they made sure to let me know. “Unless it’s Dianno singing,” they said, “fuck Maiden.” It was such a strange reaction that I wondered if other skateboard magazine editors had a similarly passionate opinion about Maiden. So I asked Swift at TWS and Tremaine (my boss) at Big Brother whether they preferred Dianno or Dickenson and the article I wrote about my findings was the first installment of a monthly column called “Who Fucking Cares?” I thought that was an important skateboard question: which Maiden singer do skateboard magazine editors prefer? These are the sorts of things I talk about with my dumb li’l buddies when I’m skating. And these are the sorts of things we were concerned about at Big Brother. Skating isn’t all about riding your skateboard. I always quote Julien, “What you do off your board is as important as what you do on your board.” All the hijinks and nonsense that goes on around skateboarding is also part of skateboarding. I don’t really consider that stuff “unrelated.” Speaking of Julien, I remember going with him to Cardiel’s house in Sacramento to skate the park one day. I sort of remember skating that day, but the memory that sticks out the most is of Julien catching a chicken off the roof of the house and teaching me how to put it to sleep. Julien has a deep bag of tricks. That’s the kind of shit I find interesting. Lewman took the WFC column probably to its extreme when he did an article titled “Tropical Bird Photography.” I don’t remember the article itself, but just the idea of a page in a skateboard magazine dedicated to tropical bird photography is fucking hilarious to me. And in doing that, that’s more about skateboarding than any interview with a top pro could ever be. And if you don’t get why tropical bird photography is more about skateboarding than skateboarding, then I don’t think you understand what being a skateboarder is… or maybe you just don’t enjoy fine photographs of tropical birds? I prefer Dickenson incidentally.
I remember having a party at my apartment in San Francisco in the early ‘90s and a bunch of the big heads in the SF scene came, most notably Jake and Arco. I didn’t know what to put on the stereo, but I thought Iron Maiden would be a good choice. Who doesn’t like Maiden? Well, apparently Jake and Arco don’t like Maiden. And they made sure to let me know. “Unless it’s Dianno singing,” they said, “fuck Maiden.” It was such a strange reaction that I wondered if other skateboard magazine editors had a similarly passionate opinion about Maiden. So I asked Swift at TWS and Tremaine (my boss) at Big Brother whether they preferred Dianno or Dickenson and the article I wrote about my findings was the first installment of a monthly column called “Who Fucking Cares?” I thought that was an important skateboard question: which Maiden singer do skateboard magazine editors prefer? These are the sorts of things I talk about with my dumb li’l buddies when I’m skating. And these are the sorts of things we were concerned about at Big Brother. Skating isn’t all about riding your skateboard. I always quote Julien, “What you do off your board is as important as what you do on your board.” All the hijinks and nonsense that goes on around skateboarding is also part of skateboarding. I don’t really consider that stuff “unrelated.” Speaking of Julien, I remember going with him to Cardiel’s house in Sacramento to skate the park one day. I sort of remember skating that day, but the memory that sticks out the most is of Julien catching a chicken off the roof of the house and teaching me how to put it to sleep. Julien has a deep bag of tricks. That’s the kind of shit I find interesting. Lewman took the WFC column probably to its extreme when he did an article titled “Tropical Bird Photography.” I don’t remember the article itself, but just the idea of a page in a skateboard magazine dedicated to tropical bird photography is fucking hilarious to me. And in doing that, that’s more about skateboarding than any interview with a top pro could ever be. And if you don’t get why tropical bird photography is more about skateboarding than skateboarding, then I don’t think you understand what being a skateboarder is… or maybe you just don’t enjoy fine photographs of tropical birds? I prefer Dickenson incidentally.
Your work, to me, is a mix of highly intelligent thoughts and completely juvenile stunts. Is it intended to be that? How seriously do you take the craft of writing? How seriously should it be taken? And how the hell did you make it through Anna Karenina?
You have a problem getting into Anna Karenina? Then you probably won’t be able to get into Don Quixote. I just read it about a year ago. Amazing book. Everyone knows what it is and thinks they know what it’s about, but how many people have actually read Don Quixote? My copy is over 1,000 pages. I had begun it a couple times, but got bored every time. Then I was reading Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch by Henry Miller and he mentions a “genius” friend reads Don Quixote once every year. Something about that passage made me attempt the book again. And he’s right. Once I got past the first 100 pages or so it’s fucking amazing. And it’s no wonder it’s considered the classic that it is. He was using literary and comedic devices in 1605 that we still consider very sophisticated today. So, yeah, I take writing pretty seriously. I would even go so far as to say, “It’s my life.” I mean, if there’s a message in Samuel Beckett’s work, it might be that language is all we have. “There’s more to life than books you know, but not much more, not much more,” as Morrissey said. My voice, my inner voice, the words that make up my Self, I consider that more Me than my physical person. That said, I simultaneously don’t take it very seriously. Or at least I try to make it look like I don’t take it seriously. Which, interestingly, is a peculiar component of skateboarding: everyone is out there trying to get noticed, trying to get sponsored, filming everything they do, BUT at the same time trying to look like they don’t care. “No, man, I just do it for fun!” All true skateboarders take skateboarding very seriously I think. It’s a gift, it’s magical, etc.. But at the same time, it’s all about shits and giggles and having fun riding around on a child’s toy. In other words, I’m very serious about the shit that I don’t give a shit about.
You were one of the early architects of the Jackass phenomenon, so it only seemed natural that you would pursue the huge Jackass fame with the rest of the gang and I was always surprised you didn’t seem to. When Jackass jumped off big-time, why didn’t you go along for the whole ride?
I get asked this a lot. If someone offered you the job of being editor-in-chief of your very own skateboard magazine, or become part of someone else’s TV show that may or may not succeed, what would you choose? I chose to run Big Brother. And to this day I don’t regret the decision. I may be a little jealous of the money they all made, and I’m happy Jackass succeeded, but I made the right choice for me. I’m simply not a jackass. I’m a skateboarder and I’m a writer. I was totally committed to those things when Jackass went down. And I’m glad I stayed because some of my favorite Big Brother material came out during that period.
You have a problem getting into Anna Karenina? Then you probably won’t be able to get into Don Quixote. I just read it about a year ago. Amazing book. Everyone knows what it is and thinks they know what it’s about, but how many people have actually read Don Quixote? My copy is over 1,000 pages. I had begun it a couple times, but got bored every time. Then I was reading Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch by Henry Miller and he mentions a “genius” friend reads Don Quixote once every year. Something about that passage made me attempt the book again. And he’s right. Once I got past the first 100 pages or so it’s fucking amazing. And it’s no wonder it’s considered the classic that it is. He was using literary and comedic devices in 1605 that we still consider very sophisticated today. So, yeah, I take writing pretty seriously. I would even go so far as to say, “It’s my life.” I mean, if there’s a message in Samuel Beckett’s work, it might be that language is all we have. “There’s more to life than books you know, but not much more, not much more,” as Morrissey said. My voice, my inner voice, the words that make up my Self, I consider that more Me than my physical person. That said, I simultaneously don’t take it very seriously. Or at least I try to make it look like I don’t take it seriously. Which, interestingly, is a peculiar component of skateboarding: everyone is out there trying to get noticed, trying to get sponsored, filming everything they do, BUT at the same time trying to look like they don’t care. “No, man, I just do it for fun!” All true skateboarders take skateboarding very seriously I think. It’s a gift, it’s magical, etc.. But at the same time, it’s all about shits and giggles and having fun riding around on a child’s toy. In other words, I’m very serious about the shit that I don’t give a shit about.
You were one of the early architects of the Jackass phenomenon, so it only seemed natural that you would pursue the huge Jackass fame with the rest of the gang and I was always surprised you didn’t seem to. When Jackass jumped off big-time, why didn’t you go along for the whole ride?
I get asked this a lot. If someone offered you the job of being editor-in-chief of your very own skateboard magazine, or become part of someone else’s TV show that may or may not succeed, what would you choose? I chose to run Big Brother. And to this day I don’t regret the decision. I may be a little jealous of the money they all made, and I’m happy Jackass succeeded, but I made the right choice for me. I’m simply not a jackass. I’m a skateboarder and I’m a writer. I was totally committed to those things when Jackass went down. And I’m glad I stayed because some of my favorite Big Brother material came out during that period.
Pros and cons of pre and post Flynt buy-out Big Brother eras?
I don’t because I like the later issues as much as the early issues. That said, we had to cover any nudity with Mr. Genital Blocker after Flynt bought it. But that was the only change. That was a compromise we had to make because it was a time when all the world’s media and publishing houses were becoming consolidated. All the newsstands were owned by just a handful of companies and they all decided that a magazine for “children” could not have nudity and whatnot in it. Which wasn’t that big of a deal to us because there wasn’t that much nudity in the mag to begin with. Oh and we went monthly. And we all actually started getting real paychecks. And we had access to porn streaming across our desk 24 hours a day. I don’t know, from my perspective, I really enjoyed the Flynt years. There was one really weird thing that Flynt wouldn’t let us do, though: retards. There was this video that I was infatuated with that was an instructional video for parents of girl’s with Down’s Syndrome. It taught them how to deal with the subject of menstruation. You go to hell if you laugh while watching it. I’m totally going to hell. But I wanted to make Jill, the retarded subject of the video, the Big Brother mascot. She’s so cute. Unfortunately, every time I tried to include her in the mag, the Flynt VPs would 86 it. I even started trying to sneak Jill into the pages of the mag, but they’d catch it every time. They hated retards. I could never figure it out because we had printed so much more horrible shit in the mag. I started thinking that maybe one of the VPs had a retard baby and had buried it alive in the woods or something?
I don’t because I like the later issues as much as the early issues. That said, we had to cover any nudity with Mr. Genital Blocker after Flynt bought it. But that was the only change. That was a compromise we had to make because it was a time when all the world’s media and publishing houses were becoming consolidated. All the newsstands were owned by just a handful of companies and they all decided that a magazine for “children” could not have nudity and whatnot in it. Which wasn’t that big of a deal to us because there wasn’t that much nudity in the mag to begin with. Oh and we went monthly. And we all actually started getting real paychecks. And we had access to porn streaming across our desk 24 hours a day. I don’t know, from my perspective, I really enjoyed the Flynt years. There was one really weird thing that Flynt wouldn’t let us do, though: retards. There was this video that I was infatuated with that was an instructional video for parents of girl’s with Down’s Syndrome. It taught them how to deal with the subject of menstruation. You go to hell if you laugh while watching it. I’m totally going to hell. But I wanted to make Jill, the retarded subject of the video, the Big Brother mascot. She’s so cute. Unfortunately, every time I tried to include her in the mag, the Flynt VPs would 86 it. I even started trying to sneak Jill into the pages of the mag, but they’d catch it every time. They hated retards. I could never figure it out because we had printed so much more horrible shit in the mag. I started thinking that maybe one of the VPs had a retard baby and had buried it alive in the woods or something?
Do you still skate? Prove it.
I love this question. It was especially funny when I was skating every day and actually skating good. Well, good for me. For some reason kids think that I’m some “fagit” that goes around shitting on stuff and doesn’t even skate. It actually makes me really mad because I’ve devoted my life to skateboarding and I’ve been skateboarding since before most of these little fucktards were even born. It’s offensive really because I paid my fucking dues. But it’s more fun to just go with it. “Yeah, I’m a total FAGIT that likes to suck cock in rollerblades, WEEEEEE!” Which is how I want to respond to your question. I don’t need to prove anything. I’m a skateboarder and I skate. Yet, at the same time, I think it’s very important to know who skates and who doesn’t. Especially someone who’s trying to garner the attention of the skateboarding public. I think you should know whether a skateboard company owner, or a skateboard magazine editor skates. So, yes, I still skate. But I got hit by a car in 2001 and it shattered my lower left leg into a dozen pieces. It’s never been the same since. I once asked Ken Block what it felt like to be the owner of one of the biggest skateboard shoe companies in the world but not skate anymore. He said something to the effect of, “I don’t like NOT being the best at anything I do.” I feel the same way. I still skate, just not as often as I used to. Because it’s frustrating to not be able to skate anywhere near the level I was at just a few years ago. That said, I can’t not skate. I suck now, but I still enjoy rolling around and slamming. Here’s some footage Weiss shot of me last year dropping into Bucky’s bowl for the first time. I eventually kind of figured out some lines in that fucking thing, but of course watching me shit my pants as I roll into that waterfall for the first time is much funnier. Bill’s slam was way better, though.
I love this question. It was especially funny when I was skating every day and actually skating good. Well, good for me. For some reason kids think that I’m some “fagit” that goes around shitting on stuff and doesn’t even skate. It actually makes me really mad because I’ve devoted my life to skateboarding and I’ve been skateboarding since before most of these little fucktards were even born. It’s offensive really because I paid my fucking dues. But it’s more fun to just go with it. “Yeah, I’m a total FAGIT that likes to suck cock in rollerblades, WEEEEEE!” Which is how I want to respond to your question. I don’t need to prove anything. I’m a skateboarder and I skate. Yet, at the same time, I think it’s very important to know who skates and who doesn’t. Especially someone who’s trying to garner the attention of the skateboarding public. I think you should know whether a skateboard company owner, or a skateboard magazine editor skates. So, yes, I still skate. But I got hit by a car in 2001 and it shattered my lower left leg into a dozen pieces. It’s never been the same since. I once asked Ken Block what it felt like to be the owner of one of the biggest skateboard shoe companies in the world but not skate anymore. He said something to the effect of, “I don’t like NOT being the best at anything I do.” I feel the same way. I still skate, just not as often as I used to. Because it’s frustrating to not be able to skate anywhere near the level I was at just a few years ago. That said, I can’t not skate. I suck now, but I still enjoy rolling around and slamming. Here’s some footage Weiss shot of me last year dropping into Bucky’s bowl for the first time. I eventually kind of figured out some lines in that fucking thing, but of course watching me shit my pants as I roll into that waterfall for the first time is much funnier. Bill’s slam was way better, though.
Click here to watch Dave go bowling at Bucky's
Why Morrissey?
When I was a freshman in college, a roommate taught me how to play guitar. He was metal head. So we’d alternate between punk and metal, mostly, but every once in awhile he’d put on The Smiths. I was punk rock, I hated the fucking faggy Smiths. “What gives?” I’d say. “If you’re going to learn how to play guitar,” he said, “you have to listen to Johnny Marr.” So that’s how I got into Morrissey and The Smiths. I love him. He’s awesome and it’s completely ridiculous for me to be smitten by him… so I like that part about it, too.
Why Danzig?
That was more McKee, Jeff, and Sean. I think they’re into Danzig kind of the way I’m into Morrissey: there’s some genuine fanning out going on, but it’s also part comedy. I got into black metal that way, too. Me and some friends started listening to it because it’s completely ridiculous. But slowly the funny went away and we found ourselves actually banging our heads to the music. That’s how I got into cocksucking, too. Started off as a joke, but next thing you know…
When I was a freshman in college, a roommate taught me how to play guitar. He was metal head. So we’d alternate between punk and metal, mostly, but every once in awhile he’d put on The Smiths. I was punk rock, I hated the fucking faggy Smiths. “What gives?” I’d say. “If you’re going to learn how to play guitar,” he said, “you have to listen to Johnny Marr.” So that’s how I got into Morrissey and The Smiths. I love him. He’s awesome and it’s completely ridiculous for me to be smitten by him… so I like that part about it, too.
Why Danzig?
That was more McKee, Jeff, and Sean. I think they’re into Danzig kind of the way I’m into Morrissey: there’s some genuine fanning out going on, but it’s also part comedy. I got into black metal that way, too. Me and some friends started listening to it because it’s completely ridiculous. But slowly the funny went away and we found ourselves actually banging our heads to the music. That’s how I got into cocksucking, too. Started off as a joke, but next thing you know…
Talk about Food on Drunk and Kingshit.
King Shit and Food On Drunk are the two places I get to do whatever I want. King Shit, if you don’t know, is a Canadian skate mag started by my friend Ryan Stutt. He has an aesthetic and sense of humor similar to that of Big Brother. So naturally he asked me and Nieratko to help out. I think once we can get our advertising squared away and come south of the border into the states, it’ll be one of the best skateboard magazines out there (visit kingshitmag.com). And then FOD is a blog that’s about my love of food (visit foodondrunk.blogspot.com). Except it’s kind of like Big Brother in that food is just kind of the backdrop for the real silly business. There’s been talk of coming out with a Big Brother-esque food magazine, as well. We’ll see.
Some say imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Would you say mockery is up there as well?
Funny, because I woke up this morning thinking, “What words start with MOC?” As in .com backwards. “MOCKERY!” Unfortunately yrek.com is owned by somebody. But, yeah, in some instances I think mockery is a form of flattery. I guess my little Danzig things are kind of like that. Danzig is, of course, a ridiculous fellow on occasion, but I’ve met him and he’s actually really cool. So, yeah, I guess I’m mocking him (or at least that weird book collection video he made), but it’s not mean spirited at all. At the same time, I think stupid shit really needs to be outwardly mocked. And it’s not out of flattery. Some people need to be shown/told in the harshest possible manner that they’re being fucking idiots. Like that crazy dude in the Youtube video that goes apeshit over his fucking bush: that dude deserves all the derision and ridicule he’s getting. And look what mockery did to rollerblading. Where did it go? Did we win? I don’t think it’s incorrect to say that skateboarders mocked rollerblading out of existence. (I still can’t figure this out, but have you seen the video to the right?) Mockery is definitely “up there,” as you say. It’s a fine tool. Hm, weird, nisac.com is taken also.
King Shit and Food On Drunk are the two places I get to do whatever I want. King Shit, if you don’t know, is a Canadian skate mag started by my friend Ryan Stutt. He has an aesthetic and sense of humor similar to that of Big Brother. So naturally he asked me and Nieratko to help out. I think once we can get our advertising squared away and come south of the border into the states, it’ll be one of the best skateboard magazines out there (visit kingshitmag.com). And then FOD is a blog that’s about my love of food (visit foodondrunk.blogspot.com). Except it’s kind of like Big Brother in that food is just kind of the backdrop for the real silly business. There’s been talk of coming out with a Big Brother-esque food magazine, as well. We’ll see.
Some say imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Would you say mockery is up there as well?
Funny, because I woke up this morning thinking, “What words start with MOC?” As in .com backwards. “MOCKERY!” Unfortunately yrek.com is owned by somebody. But, yeah, in some instances I think mockery is a form of flattery. I guess my little Danzig things are kind of like that. Danzig is, of course, a ridiculous fellow on occasion, but I’ve met him and he’s actually really cool. So, yeah, I guess I’m mocking him (or at least that weird book collection video he made), but it’s not mean spirited at all. At the same time, I think stupid shit really needs to be outwardly mocked. And it’s not out of flattery. Some people need to be shown/told in the harshest possible manner that they’re being fucking idiots. Like that crazy dude in the Youtube video that goes apeshit over his fucking bush: that dude deserves all the derision and ridicule he’s getting. And look what mockery did to rollerblading. Where did it go? Did we win? I don’t think it’s incorrect to say that skateboarders mocked rollerblading out of existence. (I still can’t figure this out, but have you seen the video to the right?) Mockery is definitely “up there,” as you say. It’s a fine tool. Hm, weird, nisac.com is taken also.
Rollerbladers discuss Dave
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