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Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 38179 times)
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mandibleclaw
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« Reply #180 on: April 04, 2010, 12:11:41 AM »

once, skating in ft. pierce, i suddenly had to shit super bad.  we were at this closed spot off a pretty major road.  i didn't have any TP, so i grabbed a notepad from my car and went behind the spot and dropped trou behind a tall clump of weeds, so the people on the road couldn't see me.  it started coming out pretty quick, so when i turned to look over my shoulder, it was already too late.  there was an apartment complex behind me, and an old black lady walked out of her front door and stared right at me.  she put her hands on her hips and shook her head.  i didn't know what to do, so i waved.  then she smiled, waved back, and got into her car and drove off.

for the wiping itself, i crinkled up the notebook paper like a hundred times so it was kind of soft, then used it.  not so bad.
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EricLogan
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« Reply #181 on: April 04, 2010, 10:14:16 AM »

crinkling the paper, fucking genius
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« Reply #182 on: April 20, 2010, 10:57:53 AM »

that is genius i never would have thought of that. ^
i find if i am wearing a nice shirt i will avoid shitting.
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raul
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« Reply #183 on: April 29, 2010, 09:20:08 PM »

I use baby wipes. The toilet paper maintenance provides for the dorms is no match against my hairy, Guatemalan asshole.
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skate_bored
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« Reply #184 on: April 30, 2010, 07:40:19 AM »

I use baby wipes. The toilet paper maintenance provides for the dorms is no match against my hairy, Guatemalan asshole.

im considering baby wipes. trying to keep things extra clean.
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raul
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« Reply #185 on: April 30, 2010, 08:30:07 AM »

I use baby wipes. The toilet paper maintenance provides for the dorms is no match against my hairy, Guatemalan asshole.

im considering baby wipes. trying to keep things extra clean.

Definitely go for it. But don't banish your regular dry towels, you'll still need to dab any extra moisture. You'll develop the worst ass itch if there's too much.
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rawbertson.
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« Reply #186 on: April 30, 2010, 09:28:20 AM »

yeah i have heard that shit can burn fierce i dont know if id fuck with that
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Inbred Jed
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« Reply #187 on: April 30, 2010, 02:49:46 PM »

I use baby wipes. The toilet paper maintenance provides for the dorms is no match against my hairy, Guatemalan asshole.

im considering baby wipes. trying to keep things extra clean.

Forget baby wipes, I wipe my ass with the baby
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raul
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« Reply #188 on: April 30, 2010, 05:05:49 PM »

yeah i have heard that shit can burn fierce i dont know if id fuck with that

Not true at all, there's no alcohol in the wipe. It's aloe and some other stuff, it feels moist and colder than a sheet of TP.
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HannibalLecter
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« Reply #189 on: April 30, 2010, 11:16:32 PM »

I stood up to wipe untill i opened the stall door on an asian man and saw him sitting down and wiping, i've sat down since then. and as for looking, i use my judgement... most times i'll check how things are going though
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raul
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« Reply #190 on: May 01, 2010, 08:31:51 AM »

I stood up to wipe untill i opened the stall door on an asian man and saw him sitting down and wiping, i've sat down since then. and as for looking, i use my judgement... most times i'll check how things are going though

I can understand a lot of different shitting techniques, but standing up? That's asking for shit to get all over your hands.
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ImKindOfABigDeal
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« Reply #191 on: May 09, 2010, 06:20:35 PM »


for the wiping itself, i crinkled up the notebook paper like a hundred times so it was kind of soft, then used it.  not so bad.

you're good, you're damn good.
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WWD4D?
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« Reply #192 on: July 02, 2010, 03:34:57 AM »

I have a friend who doesn't use toilet paper too often. He says that he mostly just holds all his shits in until right before he is gonna take a shower. He takes the shit, then just hops right in the shower and clean himself off. He says that it saves him money that he could be wasting on toilet paper. I've thought about trying this method out once or twice, but it just seems too weird. I'd be too paranoid about accidentally getting fecal matter on the shower curtains, shower walls or the bar of soap.

As for me, when it comes to shit, I'm pretty OCD. My asshole has to be spotless. There've been many times where I've wiped my ass for more than I needed to. Even after it's clean, I still wipe another two or three times just to make sure it actually is clean and I didn't miss anything. I can't stand having any fecal matter on me or the thought of "well, damn, what if I didn't get it all the way clean?" Then I pretty much just walk around all day with a paranoid feeling that I'm gonna stink or I'm gonna get shit stains on my boxers/pants.
I also hate when my fingers accidentally poke through the toilet paper when I'm wiping. If that happens I already know that the rest of my day is gonna be bad.
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dlx111
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« Reply #193 on: July 31, 2010, 08:29:49 AM »

once, skating in ft. pierce, i suddenly had to shit super bad.  we were at this closed spot off a pretty major road.  i didn't have any TP, so i grabbed a notepad from my car and went behind the spot and dropped trou behind a tall clump of weeds, so the people on the road couldn't see me.  it started coming out pretty quick, so when i turned to look over my shoulder, it was already too late.  there was an apartment complex behind me, and an old black lady walked out of her front door and stared right at me.  she put her hands on her hips and shook her head.  i didn't know what to do, so i waved.  then she smiled, waved back, and got into her car and drove off.

for the wiping itself, i crinkled up the notebook paper like a hundred times so it was kind of soft, then used it.  not so bad.
hopefully more people will start postin in here again cus i just discovered this gem today.

so i was also in fort pierce at grand prix which is an old putt putt place with some cool spots.right before i left i had lunch and had taken a probiotic to help with digestion blah blah blah. so me and my brother met our friend and headed up the highway when i started getting poop sweats, like when you get waves of heat because somethings goin on down there.so i was hoping it would go away and it did and we pull up get out and go in the place and start pushing over to the spot.no less than a minute or two a frickin big truck starts drivin up and down the fence like looking inside.while hes scoutin out the poop sweats come back and now im squatting to hide from him. so im trying not to get seen and also not crap myself.finally he goes away and i tell my bro and friend im going to the cracker barrel across te street to dump and your comin with me(their younger).so i went in and dumped it next to im presuming a black guy blasting his rap in the stall next to me.not real comfortable.

also im amazed to learn how many people go naked,i used to when i was young but got tired of the whole thing and eventually just learned to deal with the clothes.
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Acrid Avid Jam Shred
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« Reply #194 on: August 27, 2010, 08:07:37 AM »

I seriously don't get some of you guys...
It's all about staying seated, leaning slightly forward, checking every time, and then one reverse wipe starting up top to make sure you din't drag anything into upper-crack.
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« Reply #195 on: August 27, 2010, 10:57:28 AM »

every time I shit, i go take a shower, or if its nice out I  go out back and rinse my asshole with the garden hose.
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rawbertson.
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« Reply #196 on: August 27, 2010, 11:06:55 AM »

I seriously don't get some of you guys...
It's all about staying seated, leaning slightly forward, checking every time, and then one reverse wipe starting up top to make sure you din't drag anything into upper-crack.

thats what i do but if you haev a baggy shirt you gotta use your chin to tuck that shit up there or else you might sit on yuor shirt and shit on it, well its never happened but i always worry about it.
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« Reply #197 on: September 03, 2010, 11:24:59 AM »

I prefer to alternate between back to front and front to back to ensure no excess buildup on one spot of leftover, unwiped shit residue.
I do the stand up technique as well and usually use a baby wipe then dry with regular toilet paper. It's the only way to go.
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or maybe its because your fist has to first be purified in the waters of lake minnetonka before it can touch dylons.

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« Reply #198 on: September 06, 2010, 05:31:57 PM »

Anyone have a cure for "Crayon Butt"? Imagine a Crayon in your butt, no matter how many times you wipe it's still won't wipe completely clean. I'm tempted to push the turtle head back in, but that seems kinda gay. I end up wiping it til it gets raw and just give up in frustration.

Anyone have any cool stories about those cool futuristic computerized toilets/bidets from Japan, they take shitting very serious there.
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf
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« Reply #199 on: September 06, 2010, 06:11:22 PM »

Anyone have a cure for "Crayon Butt"? Imagine a Crayon in your butt, no matter how many times you wipe it's still won't wipe completely clean. I'm tempted to push the turtle head back in, but that seems kinda gay. I end up wiping it til it gets raw and just give up in frustration.

Anyone have any cool stories about those cool futuristic computerized toilets/bidets from Japan, they take shitting very serious there.

As they should! Defecating is a sacred thing.
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or maybe its because your fist has to first be purified in the waters of lake minnetonka before it can touch dylons.

Scallywag crew!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDc5iadh_sE
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« Reply #200 on: September 07, 2010, 12:37:48 PM »

I had to rush my wipe today because my work phone started ringing, pretty sure I have feces smeared all over my butthole right now.
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rawbertson.
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« Reply #201 on: September 09, 2010, 01:13:56 PM »

i think it should be noted that there are different wiping techniques for different types of shits.
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« Reply #202 on: September 09, 2010, 05:10:04 PM »

i think it should be noted that there are different wiping techniques for different types of shits.
Fuck! I wish I knew that, I probably would have had less itchy asshole on a few occasions while try to skate.
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or maybe its because your fist has to first be purified in the waters of lake minnetonka before it can touch dylons.

Scallywag crew!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDc5iadh_sE
Omamori
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« Reply #203 on: September 09, 2010, 06:53:22 PM »

I seriously don't get some of you guys...
It's all about staying seated, leaning slightly forward, checking every time, and then one reverse wipe starting up top to make sure you din't drag anything into upper-crack.
I do the same.
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ice nine
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« Reply #204 on: September 12, 2010, 06:29:57 PM »

was really sick in guatemala earlier this year, shit 20 times in a couple days. trying to take a shower i had to get out twice to shit, so on the third one i just let it come out in the shower. all while thinking of this thread!!
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Skwisgaar Skwigelf
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« Reply #205 on: September 12, 2010, 07:19:13 PM »

was really sick in guatemala earlier this year, shit 20 times in a couple days. trying to take a shower i had to get out twice to shit, so on the third one i just let it come out in the shower. all while thinking of this thread!!
Do you think it's a coincidence that you were in Guatemala and sick, at the same time?  Wink
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or maybe its because your fist has to first be purified in the waters of lake minnetonka before it can touch dylons.

Scallywag crew!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDc5iadh_sE
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« Reply #206 on: September 12, 2010, 07:26:05 PM »

do you think that was a question worth asking
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« Reply #207 on: October 26, 2010, 08:42:40 PM »

we should talk about ghost poops. Well I call them that, when you shit and nothing comes off on the toilet paper.
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« Reply #208 on: October 28, 2010, 04:56:14 PM »

we should talk about ghost poops. Well I call them that, when you shit and nothing comes off on the toilet paper.

i call those "low maintenance poops."  i thought ghost poops were the ones that slide down the toilet tube, so when you look down theres nothing in the bowl.
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ImKindOfABigDeal
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« Reply #209 on: November 02, 2010, 12:00:51 PM »

Nah thats a phantom. I've been waiting for both those situations to happen at once, just to see if I can fool myself into thinking I never shat
« Last Edit: November 02, 2010, 12:03:11 PM by ImKindOfABigDeal » Logged
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