CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - Mayan Danger Zone

[cold budweisers]

d!!

[Guile]

D!!!

[Sleazy]

double d

[frisco]

c

[City of Drunken Totems]

my god C.

[Jura]

c)

[Pelican]

c

[OttoMaddox]

d

[MexicanSpaniard]

C then D

[loophole]

C then D

[pancake man]

C then D

[grimcity]

C then D

[Guile]

C on the B then put your D in its A

[Bipsmound]

Hal Ashford stands 15 feet in front of you, clutching the statue of the enchanted corybungus tightly to his chest.  He doesn't say a word and seems to be paralyzed with fear at the thought of what kind of vengeance the naked man in front of him is about to inflict.  You rise to your feet and reach into your LA Gear fanny pack.  You pull out a tube of cheap lipstick and smear it garishly on your lips.  Hal's eyes don't leave your face, and you do not reject his stare.  You lock your eyes with his and feel the power you have over him.  You step towards him, slowly.  Closer still, until he is within your reach.  You stand face to face and notice he is shaking uncontrollably, but he doesn't move.  You begin to apply the lipstick to Hal's face.  He closes his eyes and begins to wimper like a wounded dog, still shaking and now sweating profusely.  You spread the lipstick on thick and heavy before tossing the spent tube into the bush.  You turn your head slightly to the side and you press your mouth up against Hal's.  Lipstick on lipstick.  Your tongue thrusts deep into his mouth.  You massage his tongue with yours gently coaxing it forward.  Your tongue is like the pied piper as it leads his into your mouth.  When his tongue is inside you, you bite down as hard as you can.

Hal's screams sound kinda funny with his tongue chewed in half.  He drops to his knees and the statue of the enchanted corybungus falls to the ground.  He covers his mouth with his hand as blood stains his shirt.  You pick up the statue and feel it's weight.  Hal seems to know what's coming and tries to scramble away.  You're too quick for him, one swift blow over the back of the head with the statue and his body goes limp.  Hal's leg twitches briefly and you contemplate caving his head in with a rock, but decide against such savagery as your white powder buzz begins to wane.  The statue of the enchanted corybungus is yours.  You are eager to get out of the jungle and back to civilization.  You remember your contractual obligations to the SBUEP.  You resolve to take a vacation in Vegas, this time without Hal Ashford.

 
                                                                         THE END



Join Chase Homely next time as he travels to the far east to uncover the ancient secrets of the orient!

[MexicanSpaniard]

Bravo Bips, bravo.

[rocklobster]

stuff like this was the reason why the internet was created....  seriously the best thing ive read all day....

[Jura]

*claps*

Cant wait for the sequel.

I actually have a real choose your own adventure book somewhere, ill see if i can find it and post it up like this.

[OttoMaddox]

[biggums mcgee]

automatic classic slap. I can't wait for more!

[frisco]

ah quite the epic conclusion, stoked for another one

[RollinonFour]

Is this like one of them goosebumps books where you turn to a different page and you can choose your own ending? I'll be back....


I have to contemplate my story.

[nice weather]

sven thorkel isn't my favourite funny poster anymore.

[City of Drunken Totems]

So amazing, best thing ive read in a very long time.  Cannot wait for round two.

[sven thorkel]

sven thorkel isn't my favourite funny poster anymore.

aww but i just got a new juggling set and a diploma from a certain type of college. lets just say the average shoe size of the place was well endowed

[nice weather]

I'm pretty sure with profound knowledge of the american and candian university situation, I could've given an incredibly witty inside joke response to that. Something along the lines of "oh well then take that Dartmouth diploma of yours and get to work you lazy rapscallion!" but then I'd probably be confronted with Haägen Dasz tests about the smarts of my ass that totally destroy my mind, so I'll just go with the classical description of what I would've done if I paid better attention to college graduate inside jokes.

[sven thorkel]

the answer is clown college. your looking to much into it dawg, dumb your self down and git some

[dtrigiani]

[nice weather]

the answer is clown college. your looking to much into it dawg, dumb your self down and git some

hey wait, did you think I wasn't getting the clown college joke?

[sven thorkel]

the answer is clown college. your looking to much into it dawg, dumb your self down and git some

hey wait, did you think I wasn't getting the clown college joke?

aww you double duffed me. kudos guido

[nice weather]

you can tease me with as many kudos as you want, but bipster just threw you off the zing throne of Zingston. strike back, I know you can do it.