Pick-Up Artistry

[UgolinoTheSignificant]

Pro tip: Don't look or act like a fucking bum or hippie. Unless you want to score a bum or a hippie.

A couple of friends read The Game, and guess what, in some magic way they turned all into some jersey shore like monsters who got so pissed if a girl didn't want to eat their dick within 5 minutes of them meeting... They all put that crap away after realizing what they were doing...

if you falling for that insecurity-exacerbating, secret-trick promising, copy-writing bullshit, you're a fucking MARK.

[GAY]

Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

[SheepShagger]

My question is: do you ever feel bad the next morning when you wake up next to the girl and realize that you've just ruthlessly manipulated her hindbrain into sleeping with some looser who she has absolutely nothing in common with?

beta.

[brycickle]

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

Pro tip: Remove pants and underwear before attempting this tactic. Otherwise she won't be able to tell that you're winking your brown eye at her.

[SheepShagger]

Dat hair.

[GAY]

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

Pro tip: Remove pants and underwear before attempting this tactic. Otherwise she won't be able to tell that you're winking your brown eye at her.

Goddamnit! I knew I left something out. Methinks you've used this same tip on the ladies before brycickle. *high 5* It turns females from pent-up nuns to sex minxes in the wink of one sexy eye.

[IanBZHD]

Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

[brycickle]

Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

That's some Ted Bundy advice right there.

[DEDBBIS]

Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

Begging for you to be able to get it up maybe, amphetamine salts make your dick retract like a turtle into its shell

[ttching!]

60% of the time, the picnic basket surprise works every time.

[GAY]

60% of the time, the picnic basket surprise works every time.

Right? They love picnics and surprises...and the "basket" brings the two together in a fun, educational, light hearted way. Also, I think the hole in the bottom of the popcorn bag at the movie theater is another one that virtually EVERY lady just loves!

[IanBZHD]

Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

That's some Ted Bundy advice right there.

Well if your just trying to bone either your gonna get rejected or go to the boneyard. So really  do you care what the chick thinks about you? Thats why it doesnt matter, they're just human like you, its not highschool and your gonna get laughed at all year for hitting on a chick.

[brycickle]

No, the reason it doesn't matter what she thinks about me is because she's dead either way.

[Dontfearthereefer]

get real drunk and find the ugliest girl at the bar

[MuchasGracias]

booooom, 36 still got tricks. what !

lol

[GAY]

get real drunk and find the ugliest girl at the bar

The ugly ones try hard to please and are therefore the most fun in the sack. I call 'em double baggers.

[chockfullofthat]

get real drunk and find the ugliest girl at the bar

The ugly ones try hard to please and are therefore the most fun in the sack. I call 'em double baggers.

Ya but they're the dregs of society and have the highest potential to snap...ie burning your house down after you kick her/him out at 4 am.

[LOU.502]

No, the reason it doesn't matter what she thinks about me is because she's dead either way.

Hahhahahaha holy shit

[Dontfearthereefer]

standards are for relationships

a man with standards is just cockblocking himself

dont cockblock yourself

[ttching!]

standards are for relationships

a man with standards is just cockblocking himself

dont cockblock yourself

So, is following this advice what led you to having sex with the dead people at your work?

[Dontfearthereefer]

im just saying before im put in a crematoriums oven i wouldn't mind getting laid one last time, dead or alive

[Carrolls Chesthairs]

The one time I did bring up grilled cheese to a girl it worked.

[SKATE DAD]

Lookout world, here comes Dallas!  He's got a hot new bod and some hot new ways to get you in the sack.  Don't resist his power!

Its going to be difficult.

[SheepShagger]

http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/a-city-doesnt-suck-just-because-youre-stupid

LOL at these fags getting trolled.

[poopmonkey]

Tell them you're Ryan Gosling, stick to your role. Tell her all about the movies you're currently shooting and the butler at your huge mansion. Just talk funny bullshit. Example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuzsZ8GyM38
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