Facebook Twitter MySpace YouTube



Forum Search   Advanced Search
October 21, 2014, 12:39:43 AM
Welcome, Guest.
Please login above or register.
News: OIAM!
   
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10]
   
Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 37505 times)
stone cold steve austin and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
SodaJerk
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 40
Posts: 2986
Butterscotch yo!


Ignore
« Reply #270 on: July 20, 2013, 08:10:31 AM »

i stand up as well. had a conversation with my brother about this, he's a sitter. i expected familial clustering.
I would have assumed some sort of hereditary wiping traits to be the norm too. I'm going to have to check with my brother on this. I'm a stander and am amazed at the amount of sitters here. I'm positively bamboozled by the mere mention of scrunching over folding too, I knew it existed but thought it was more for the fairer sex with there relatively hairless toilet holes and lack of hanging junk in the way. Here's my take, standing, slight lean forward with a quarter twist, reach around the body, 3 to 4 sheets folded, wipe, fold repeat and keep repeating until there is no trace left or the paper is to small to fold again. If you need more paper better to use it than leave skid marks on your smalls. Problem turds may take a little more wrangling involving wet wipes, a shower or if no shower is present a vigorous basin wash hand towels be damned. No paper means sacrificing at least one sock. I'm super regular and like to back one out at least at the ratio of one to one per meal. The only thing that has ever broken this has been heavy opiate based pain medication.
Logged
L33Tg33k
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 2
Posts: 3752
F.A.P. - Forever Alone Party


Ignore
« Reply #271 on: July 25, 2013, 05:56:34 PM »

I wipe with damp tp and then pretty much just wash my ass with soap and rag after every shit. It's never clean enough.
Logged
pinche gringo
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 58
Posts: 1215


Ignore
« Reply #272 on: July 25, 2013, 06:47:37 PM »

Sitter. I use wet wipes if possible, otherwise I'll run the damp tp/papertowel.
Logged
ride on.
brownjenkin
Hero Member
*****
Rep: 34
Posts: 975


Ignore
« Reply #273 on: July 25, 2013, 10:45:06 PM »

If you're running wet wipes as part of your wiping routine, I hope you're following it up with some dry wiping of some sort. There's no way I'm pulling up my pants with slippery cheeks.
Logged
pinche gringo
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 58
Posts: 1215


Ignore
« Reply #274 on: July 26, 2013, 02:43:38 PM »

If you're running wet wipes as part of your wiping routine, I hope you're following it up with some dry wiping of some sort. There's no way I'm pulling up my pants with slippery cheeks.

Absolutely, the goal is clean and dry when finished.
Logged
ride on.
ice nine
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 319
Posts: 6518


Ignore
« Reply #275 on: July 26, 2013, 04:15:53 PM »

it's hard to know when to stop wiping when there's just more and more blood every time I wipe
Logged
I;m sure i;m not the only dc/monster/subaru type guy here
SodaJerk
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 40
Posts: 2986
Butterscotch yo!


Ignore
« Reply #276 on: July 27, 2013, 07:26:46 AM »

it's hard to know when to stop wiping when there's just more and more blood every time I wipe
That's harsh man. You might want to get checked for hemorroids or you could have an anal fissure.
Logged
L33Tg33k
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 2
Posts: 3752
F.A.P. - Forever Alone Party


Ignore
« Reply #277 on: July 27, 2013, 03:06:29 PM »

it's hard to know when to stop wiping when there's just more and more blood every time I wipe
You're probably joking, but I sometimes have this problem.
Logged
pencil
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -111
Posts: 1217
lickmymuffugginasshole


Ignore
« Reply #278 on: October 02, 2013, 03:01:30 PM »

it's hard to know when to stop wiping when there's just more and more blood every time I wipe
You're probably joking, but I sometimes have this problem.

dude your life literally sucks so bad that im trying to post 1000 times just t o gnar u
Logged


please try and tell me Raybourn doesnt look like he participated in a school shooting
ROCKxADIO420
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 550
Posts: 3255
√+


Ignore
« Reply #279 on: October 03, 2013, 02:04:18 PM »

i have an adorable jack russell terrier named max who licks my butthole clean after every shit



love you, max.
Logged
.CHET THOMAS.
pencil
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -111
Posts: 1217
lickmymuffugginasshole


Ignore
« Reply #280 on: October 03, 2013, 02:09:13 PM »

i have an adorable jack russell terrier named max who licks my butthole clean after every shit



love you, max.

may is so lucky i wish that were my job
Logged


please try and tell me Raybourn doesnt look like he participated in a school shooting
Hairy Ballsagna
Sr. Member
****
Rep: 11
Posts: 347


Ignore
« Reply #281 on: October 07, 2013, 09:03:03 PM »

I used to be broke.  I pared my diet down to cheesy jalapeno bread which I made from 25 lb bags of flour that my mom bought me at costco, giant bags of cheap jalapenos from the grocery outlet, and I'd splurge on cheese.

 I figured I could pretty much live on it. Cheese has protein, jalapenos could ward off scurvy and flour filled me up. But the problem was that my ass usually bled when I wiped it. I would usually make a loaf or two, eat nothing but those loaves until they were gone, and then eat other stuff for a couple days until I had time for more baking. It took me a while to connect the blood coming out of my asshole with the jalapeno cheesy bread, but I eventually figured it out and shifted to a pasta, tortillas and peanut butter diet.

 I didn't have to work on Fridays, so for some weird reason I volunteered at the food bank at 7 a.m. For some other weird reason I always got really drunk on Thursday nights. At the food bank I'd have to keep taking breaks from sorting cans of food with seniors and chatting with my grey-haired friend Dale about his storage business to take messy shits and then find red on the wiping paper.

I got to take home lots of food after volunteering at the food bank though, so I guess the jalapeno cheesy bread diet became unnecessary. Every once in a while, I'll bleed a little out of my asshole and reminisce about simpler times when my TP regularly came up red.
Logged
360 frip
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -136
Posts: 2744
Free Chopper


Ignore
« Reply #282 on: October 09, 2013, 07:52:07 AM »

i have an adorable jack russell terrier named max who licks my butthole clean after every shit



love you, max.

Pics or get out.
Logged
I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER.
ThugWaffle
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -143
Posts: 1755


Ignore
« Reply #283 on: October 16, 2013, 06:50:32 PM »

I used to be broke.  I pared my diet down to cheesy jalapeno bread which I made from 25 lb bags of flour that my mom bought me at costco, giant bags of cheap jalapenos from the grocery outlet, and I'd splurge on cheese.

 I figured I could pretty much live on it. Cheese has protein, jalapenos could ward off scurvy and flour filled me up. But the problem was that my ass usually bled when I wiped it. I would usually make a loaf or two, eat nothing but those loaves until they were gone, and then eat other stuff for a couple days until I had time for more baking. It took me a while to connect the blood coming out of my asshole with the jalapeno cheesy bread, but I eventually figured it out and shifted to a pasta, tortillas and peanut butter diet.

 I didn't have to work on Fridays, so for some weird reason I volunteered at the food bank at 7 a.m. For some other weird reason I always got really drunk on Thursday nights. At the food bank I'd have to keep taking breaks from sorting cans of food with seniors and chatting with my grey-haired friend Dale about his storage business to take messy shits and then find red on the wiping paper.

I got to take home lots of food after volunteering at the food bank though, so I guess the jalapeno cheesy bread diet became unnecessary. Every once in a while, I'll bleed a little out of my asshole and reminisce about simpler times when my TP regularly came up red.

Damn, made me appreciate life a bit more.
Logged
pencil
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -111
Posts: 1217
lickmymuffugginasshole


Ignore
« Reply #284 on: October 22, 2013, 11:11:49 AM »

I used to be broke.  I pared my diet down to cheesy jalapeno bread which I made from 25 lb bags of flour that my mom bought me at costco, giant bags of cheap jalapenos from the grocery outlet, and I'd splurge on cheese.

 I figured I could pretty much live on it. Cheese has protein, jalapenos could ward off scurvy and flour filled me up. But the problem was that my ass usually bled when I wiped it. I would usually make a loaf or two, eat nothing but those loaves until they were gone, and then eat other stuff for a couple days until I had time for more baking. It took me a while to connect the blood coming out of my asshole with the jalapeno cheesy bread, but I eventually figured it out and shifted to a pasta, tortillas and peanut butter diet.

 I didn't have to work on Fridays, so for some weird reason I volunteered at the food bank at 7 a.m. For some other weird reason I always got really drunk on Thursday nights. At the food bank I'd have to keep taking breaks from sorting cans of food with seniors and chatting with my grey-haired friend Dale about his storage business to take messy shits and then find red on the wiping paper.

I got to take home lots of food after volunteering at the food bank though, so I guess the jalapeno cheesy bread diet became unnecessary. Every once in a while, I'll bleed a little out of my asshole and reminisce about simpler times when my TP regularly came up red.

Damn, made me appreciate life a bit more.

fuck ur life lol
Logged


please try and tell me Raybourn doesnt look like he participated in a school shooting
McGooch
Full Member
***
Rep: -39
Posts: 158


Ignore
« Reply #285 on: June 21, 2014, 10:13:04 PM »

Let me inform some of you poop noobs of the perfect pinch.

No iphones, tablets or computers during. Gotta clean up while it's fresh.

Alternate between damp and dry using 3-4 sheets clumped (granted you're near a sink) . Always check until you get a clean wipe and usually an additional safety wipe.

Standing up takes more effort and is less effective. Sit, lean forward, hand back around right leg. Go from back to balls. Much more torque and friction.

So how do you fellows go about cleaning in the shower? Do you use a rag or a loofah? Dispose after use or reuse? Plain hand and soap?
Logged
SHARPSHOOTER
Hero Member
*****
Rep: -91
Posts: 721


Ignore
« Reply #286 on: July 21, 2014, 01:41:08 PM »

Every once in a while, I'll bleed a little out of my asshole and reminisce about simpler times when my TP regularly came up red.
The simpler times.. like Little House on The Prairie
Logged
ttching!
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 65315
Posts: 3398
Smilin' Mercenary


Ignore
« Reply #287 on: July 21, 2014, 03:34:10 PM »

Every once in a while, I'll bleed a little out of my asshole and reminisce about simpler times when my TP regularly came up red.
The simpler times.. like Little House on The Prairie

Like little house next door to Chase Gabor.
Logged
rim reaper
Newbie
*
Rep: 1
Posts: 2


Ignore
« Reply #288 on: July 29, 2014, 03:54:26 AM »

Let me inform some of you poop noobs of the perfect pinch.

No iphones, tablets or computers during. Gotta clean up while it's fresh.

Alternate between damp and dry using 3-4 sheets clumped (granted you're near a sink) . Always check until you get a clean wipe and usually an additional safety wipe.

Standing up takes more effort and is less effective. Sit, lean forward, hand back around right leg. Go from back to balls. Much more torque and friction.

So how do you fellows go about cleaning in the shower? Do you use a rag or a loofah? Dispose after use or reuse? Plain hand and soap?

just spit on it like you would on a vagina. thats the essence of being a human
Logged
tobey
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -47
Posts: 1542


Ignore
« Reply #289 on: August 10, 2014, 08:23:26 PM »

i remember when i was a kid i would get done shitting and then sit on the sink and wash my asshole and then dry it. I did this because i would literally wipe for about 3-5 minutes non stop ( i still do) and i hated that
Logged
ill_Murray
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: 25
Posts: 1261


Ignore
« Reply #290 on: August 24, 2014, 07:14:24 PM »

i remember when i was a kid i would get done shitting and then sit on the sink and wash my asshole and then dry it. I did this because i would literally wipe for about 3-5 minutes non stop ( i still do) and i hated that


Go getcha wet wipes.  And quit eatin ya boogers Tobey.
Logged
tobey
SLAP Pal
******
Rep: -47
Posts: 1542


Ignore
« Reply #291 on: August 24, 2014, 08:55:56 PM »

i remember when i was a kid i would get done shitting and then sit on the sink and wash my asshole and then dry it. I did this because i would literally wipe for about 3-5 minutes non stop ( i still do) and i hated that


Go getcha wet wipes.  And quit eatin ya boogers Tobey.

do you think thats the problem? i mean it makes sense i been having to wipe so much since i was a kid and i have been eating my boogers since forever
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10]
   
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.11 | SMF © 2006-2009, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!