THE DR. NEWTON 2.0 EXPOSED THREAD

[brooklyn brawler]

So no, I don't want your number, no I don't want to give you mine.

[Livin The Psychedelic Lif]

this is classic

[yeah dude!]

Him beggin for giftcards:

http://forums.skateperception.com/index.php?showtopic=213958&hl=

"I was just wondering if any of you have any gift cards to places like American Eagle, Abercrombie, Hollister, etc. that you don't want and/ or are willing to sell for less than what they're worth? I specifically must wear shit like this for reasons I won't go into, but please keep the hate or whatever elsewhere. If you've got actual clothes, I wear size Large shirts/ sweaters/ jackets, and 30x32 pants. I'll buy lots from you (if you have like four new shirts or something), but I really don't want to waste money shipping like one t-shirt."

This is by far the funniest/most surprising thing to me. He reps that shit pretty hard here with no shame yet in the real world (other message boards) he knows he should be embarrassed.

[Gomez]

So no, I don't want your number, no I don't want to give you mine.

no i don't wanna meet you nowhere, no i don't want none of your time.

[EricLogan]

The best pic is the skate-coach one with the little kids. And he wants to pop-off at Smolik for jumping over some chicks at a demo?

He used to always talk about how little kids are pussies 'cause no one vibes them at the parks anymore. About how being nice to little kids that skate is ruining the next generation or some shit. And he's a skate coach for little kids WTF? I wonder if required those kids to wear their helmets? It's sweet how they left their helmets on for the picture.

The next step is finding out his parents email address and forwarding that shit he wrote about how he's swindling them out of like $15Gs a year.

So this little fucking puke swindles his parents out of almost as much money as I make at my hard-earning fulltime job?

fml

[Bugs]

I'm surprised that this person turned out to be exatcly who they are. I always thought it was someone working at a skateshop fucking around.

[Pug Life]

buddy i am fucking epic at life you dont even know shit about me. sure i live in my moms basement and i am 23 and somewhat ginger looking. you can hate all you want on that shit. but the real shit comes down to whos doin the real shit. i am ripping skateboarding every damn day and people are hyped. i disected this god damn industry in under 4 minutes, and still had time to shout out my homies. you are some dick rider fag with a full blown walk in closet of skateboarding related brands who has skated for 3 years and thinks he is good cause he can do a 360 flip. you care so much abou what other people think about your image and thats why you buy all those gay clothes and blow your paycheques on fashion bullshit. and you think you NEED that shit to get pussy, but really you are just a pussy.

I had to dig in there and scoop up a new sig.  Rawb is hustle 90 for ya'll that don't know.

[jack burton]

does he still post at those other forums?

[verbal ham]

fuckin faggs

[brooklyn brawler]

Chris, this is for you. You may wear ugly clothes, but you are very beautiful inside.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ejX0q3s0yY
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[HRPoodersmith]

I love when the internet crosses over to real life.  Thats when people start to get hurt 

[Prison Wallet]

The best pic is the skate-coach one with the little kids. And he wants to pop-off at Smolik for jumping over some chicks at a demo?

He used to always talk about how little kids are pussies 'cause no one vibes them at the parks anymore. About how being nice to little kids that skate is ruining the next generation or some shit. And he's a skate coach for little kids WTF? I wonder if required those kids to wear their helmets? It's sweet how they left their helmets on for the picture.

The next step is finding out his parents email address and forwarding that shit he wrote about how he's swindling them out of like $15Gs a year.

So this little fucking puke swindles his parents out of almost as much money as I make at my hard-earning fulltime job?

fml

I spent about five minutes on the internet and found his home address via a funeral home website. His middle name comes from his dad and his mom and dad are listed in the white pages.

Although it's temping I'm not gonna do anything with it. His parents raised him and the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree. If he's really stealing from him like he brags about they'll either catch him or they're shady too.

[Boston.]

The best pic is the skate-coach one with the little kids. And he wants to pop-off at Smolik for jumping over some chicks at a demo?

He used to always talk about how little kids are pussies 'cause no one vibes them at the parks anymore. About how being nice to little kids that skate is ruining the next generation or some shit. And he's a skate coach for little kids WTF? I wonder if required those kids to wear their helmets? It's sweet how they left their helmets on for the picture.

The next step is finding out his parents email address and forwarding that shit he wrote about how he's swindling them out of like $15Gs a year.

So this little fucking puke swindles his parents out of almost as much money as I make at my hard-earning fulltime job?

fml

I spent about five minutes on the internet and found his home address via a funeral home website. His middle name comes from his dad and his mom and dad are listed in the white pages.

Although it's temping I'm not gonna do anything with it. His parents raised him and the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree. If he's really stealing from him like he brags about they'll either catch him or they're shady too.

slap detective work at it's finest

high fives all around

[og.milk]

i love you art

[sage]

epic life fail

Wow I wish I could be as eloquent as you.

The next step is finding out his parents email address and forwarding that shit he wrote about how he's swindling them out of like $15Gs a year.

If this doesn't happen I will be very disappointed. All that really happened was the other Newton got some myspace photos for us to laugh at. I don't think I'll feel satisfied until the kids life has been ruined, or at least his relationship with his parents.

[Guile]

ive said it before but it needs to be brought up again, what a wonderful fucking website we have all discovered. my time on slap has been funnier than anything on any million dollar television show/movie could be.

[FACE!]

this guy is gonna be a serial killer or commit suicide  

[grimcity]

I love when the internet crosses over to real life.  Thats when people start to get hurt 

If this were a group of \b\tards, Anon would surely count this as a win.

I'm still really tripping on the fact that he focused... I don't know about the gift card crap or the way he may or may not be stealing from his folks, but I think the skate coaching thing is pretty rad. As defensive (and eager to play offensive) as he is, I'm really, really surprised that he wouldn't stick around and duke it out or just come clean. Whatever floats his boat I guess.

I gotta tip my hat again though... you guys did some pretty damned good social engineering and online detective work. The MySpace account part was too good.

[Prison Wallet]

I think the skate coaching thing is pretty rad. As defensive (and eager to play offensive) as he is, I'm really, really surprised that he wouldn't stick around and duke it out or just come clean.

I don't care one way or another about the skate coaching but what's funny is how he came on here and pretended to be the exact opposite. Talking about how we should all be dicks to little kids and not teach them anything so they don't grow up to be pussies. Funny thing is it makes perfect sense; he probably came home from a frustrating afternoon of skate coaching and wrote that shit.

Another funny thing is how he talked shit on his college or whatever saying it was just a place of convenience for him but grad school was really where he was gonna up his game. Then he posts pics of himself posing in front of the sign on his myspace or whatever. Too funny.

The whole focusing thing just tells me Art Newt hit the nail on the head.

[yeah dude!]

this guy is gonna be a serial killer or commit suicide  

My money is on him pulling a Ryan Reynolds ala "Just Friends" and coming back in 10 years as the coolest dude ever. Probably end up getting Vicky pregnant too.

edit* what? I've never seen Just Friends...

[sage]

By the way, has anyone tried calling that phone number and seeing who picks up?

[brooklyn brawler]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8ISFwEMBbQ
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[Wizard Fuck]

I used to live near his High School for a while... fucking awesome thread.

[Watson]

Why dont you stop complaining and go play with your boy friend on the swing set. try not to tickle eachothes balls while you are at it.

If they were boyfriends, why wouldn't they tickle eachother's balls? Seriously.

buddy i am fucking epic at life you dont even know shit about me. sure i live in my moms basement and i am 23 and somewhat ginger looking.

That statement definitely proves his epicness at life. Unreal statement.

[CigaretteBeer]

epic life fail

Wow I wish I could be as eloquent as you.

The next step is finding out his parents email address and forwarding that shit he wrote about how he's swindling them out of like $15Gs a year.

If this doesn't happen I will be very disappointed. All that really happened was the other Newton got some myspace photos for us to laugh at. I don't think I'll feel satisfied until the kids life has been ruined, or at least his relationship with his parents.

I agree

[Sony MDR V2 Headphones]

paging chris hansen

[Cheapboarder]

All Newt 2.0 had to say was, "Yeah, this is me." and the thread would of been totally dumb. The focus just just makes this seem like a win.

[kilgore.]

wow.

[Boston.]

I fuck girls hotter than you on my worst days

[mcpeepants]

paging chris hansen

shut the fuck up, bill.