hooker stories

[Prison Wallet]

Anybody got one?

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

Yeah. I think I told it in temp gnar, and I don't want to tell it again.
To make it short- in nevada, saw the moonlight bunny ranch, puked on a hooker, life became shitty.

[marty.]

closest i ever came was kinda getting a bj from a stripper at this club behind an applebees
it was either the coke or the weirdness of the situation, but i couldn't get it up, so i didnt really consider it a blowjob and didnt pay her anything

i had to pay the bouncer like ten bucks though, to get access to the backroom, and then dude just comes in after about five minutes and is just like 'times up', while my flaccid member was still in her mouth

[HATE!]

When I lived in Germany a buddy of mine got locked in a brothel.  Apparently he and the hooker both past out in the bed and whoever ran the place locked him and the hooker in.  The hooker had to use his cell phone to call the owner back to let them out.  After he got out he said he thought, "you know.. maybe being locked in there wouldn't have been to terrible."

Other then that there was just this older fat hooker that sat out by her van and always rubbed her nipples while we rode the bus to and from school.  Nipples must've been raw as hell.

[zipzinger666]

while i was chilling in 303 boards one day this hooker was sitting outside and drinking this giant red slurpee. we didn't think anything of it, but the owner was saying "dont come in, dont come in..." and right as she walked in she tripped and spilled her fatty slurpee all over the floor. it was radical. he called it perfectly. hookers suck

[camel filters]

good thread. i tried to take a photograph of a hooker once and the pimp pounced from my blindspot and demanded that i threw out the film. i ran.

[kilgore.]

my father was a hooker for 14 years, and a doctor for 12. and yes, those two careers did overlap.

[rocklobster]

my father was a hooker for 14 years, and a doctor for 12. and yes, those two careers did overlap.

made my fucking day....

i work in a hotel bar with loads of call girls, mostly thai and vietnamese...  there was vietnamese girl who was probably the hardest working girl ive ever seen in my 10 months working there... huge knockers, almost pretty had it not been for excessive botox in her lips to make her look like a fucking goldfish...  her record was 3 customers in an evening from 8pm till 1am... fuck a customer, come back and drink he same drink she left on the bar... repeat 3 times over...

i saw a burly english dude get his ass kicked by a thai call girl once...  she pull him off his chair and started kicking the shit out of him...

[popeyesfriedchicken]

i was sitting on a bench waiting for a friend to show up out on a street...  some guy asked me if i'd give him a blowjob for money.  extremely fucked situation.  i told him i wasn't gay and to leave me alone. i've had a few hookers offer to blow/fuck me for money but never wanted to stoop so low.  but now if i had the money, they were attractive, and i wore a rubber, i wouldn't give a damn. 

[seagle]

ladyboy in indo...awsome

[Beer Keg Peg Leg]

ladyboy in indo...awsome

They don't call em' banshis for nothin, I can make them hoes SCREEEEEEEEEAAAMMMMM

[rocklobster]

ladyboy in indo...awsome

thai ladyboys FTW....

my colleague used to work in a bar especially for ladyboys to seduce lonely locals and tourist...  he told me about this one girl/dude apple...  very petite and soft spoken, she looked like a local chinese girl... 

he added that shes one of the bars top girls and customers keep coming back for her sexy time...  i asked him how he knew and he said he had fucked him/her before...  bum sex...

i cant look at him the same anymore...

[ahlee]

Yeah. I think I told it in temp gnar, and I don't want to tell it again.
To make it short- in nevada, saw the moonlight bunny ranch, puked on a hooker, life became shitty.

I remember this classic

[jack burton]

Yeah. I think I told it in temp gnar, and I don't want to tell it again.
To make it short- in nevada, saw the moonlight bunny ranch, puked on a hooker, life became shitty.

I remember this classic

maybe im imagining things but i feel like that story was also shared in the drunk stories thread. if so it was pure gold.

[Pete]

some guy asked me if i'd give him a blowjob for money.

hahahah

[cheep]

at first i was wondering why anyone would pay for sex... then i remembered the 200 a week i pay for child support.

[Chris P. Bacon]

we call my friend "7 13" after a trip to europe. i guess homeboy was wasted in amsterdam and decided he wanted to fuck a prostitute, he sees a fine looking hooker in a window and walks in, 7 mintues later walks out, walks down the street sees an even hotter hooker and then goes in and comes back 13 mintues later... haha he ended paying $120 altogether.

[Donkey Lips]

i really need to go to vegas to watch this.  i have no good hooker stories since they don't kick it public in my city.  just those that i make fun of on craigslist.

[Fongstarr.]

we call my friend "7 13" after a trip to europe. i guess homeboy was wasted in amsterdam and decided he wanted to fuck a prostitute, he sees a fine looking hooker in a window and walks in, 7 mintues later walks out, walks down the street sees an even hotter hooker and then goes in and comes back 13 mintues later... haha he ended paying $120 altogether.

Hooker probably thought she got a deal after getting paid for only 7 minutes of her life.

[lenny]

I got a bj from a fat hooker in malaga when i was 18... but i was so drunk that i couldn't cum.
worst 30 euros i ever spent.

[starvingrobot]

[thieveslikeus]

moonlight bunny ranch? one of my favorite porn stars works there (hope it was her you chundered on)

[RightCoastBiased]

Mine went something like this;

[Rafiki]

Mine went something like this;

Ahahahaha

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

moonlight bunny ranch? one of my favorite porn stars works there (hope it was her you chundered on)

Not her. There was some penthouse pet there, and my wasted friend was there repeating to us "Dude, you gotta say something to keep me from overdrawing my bank by several thousand dollars. " over and over. 
However, if you have seen the bunny ranch show season 2, there is this black chick that they spotlight... I didn't even know it was her until my friend turned it on, pointed her out, and said "Remember when you puked on her?!?" I was like "naw... that never happened."
And maybe I told it in the drunk stories thread, I definitely don't have two stories like that.

[rawbertson.]

mine are the kind you wouldnt tell people about

[MexicanSpaniard]

Mine went something like this;

Is there a cock bulge in that leather skirt?

[Donkey Lips]

i typically wouldnt pay for a lady, but isabella soprano is the exception to that. 

[grimcity]

A long time ago I had a friend who I'd skate and get fucked up with constantly... he had a place in the Quarter in New Orleans, and I'd often stay the weekend with him doing acid, toking, getting drunk, skating, slaying chicks and generally barging. One night we were drunk-skating around and stopped on the stoop below his apartment to smoke a couple of bowls. After cashing a couple of times, we both took notice of a truck two mini-blocks away that looked exactly like this:

...with some blue collar working dude behind the wheel. He was parked, but idling with his lights on and had been there for quite some time talking it up with a really skanky prostitute who had one foot on the step of his truck, and she was leaning in, with her forearm propping her up (her arm was over the long slot of the door where the window comes up).

Anyway, from where the dude was sitting, all he could see was her head, shoulders, and right forearm, but from where we were sitting, we could see his truck front-on, and she was facing us at a 3/4 angle. Anyway, me and my buddy were just sitting there fucked up and waiting for a transaction to take place, when all of a sudden we see her take her left hand, and subtly but aggressively start scratching the crotch of the weathered Z. Cavaricci pants (out of date even back then). In unison, me and my buddy were all "OOOOOOOHHHHHH WHAAAAT!!!" The hooker looked at us and immediately stopped scratching, and we were literally stumbling in the street doing double handed facepalms going "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOoo..." then we walked towards Bourbon laughing our asses off and looking back at her.

I wish I knew what the dude in the truck was thinking, but it was amazing from our POV.

[thieveslikeus]

A long time ago I had a friend who I'd skate and get fucked up with constantly... he had a place in the Quarter in New Orleans, and I'd often stay the weekend with him doing acid, toking, getting drunk, skating, slaying chicks and generally barging. One night we were drunk-skating around and stopped on the stoop below his apartment to smoke a couple of bowls. After cashing a couple of times, we both took notice of a truck two mini-blocks away that looked exactly like this:

...with some blue collar working dude behind the wheel. He was parked, but idling with his lights on and had been there for quite some time talking it up with a really skanky prostitute who had one foot on the step of his truck, and she was leaning in, with her forearm propping her up (her arm was over the long slot of the door where the window comes up).

Anyway, from where the dude was sitting, all he could see was her head, shoulders, and right forearm, but from where we were sitting, we could see his truck front-on, and she was facing us at a 3/4 angle. Anyway, me and my buddy were just sitting there fucked up and waiting for a transaction to take place, when all of a sudden we see her take her left hand, and subtly but aggressively start scratching the crotch of the weathered Z. Cavaricci pants (out of date even back then). In unison, me and my buddy were all "OOOOOOOHHHHHH WHAAAAT!!!" The hooker looked at us and immediately stopped scratching, and we were literally stumbling in the street doing double handed facepalms going "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOoo..." then we walked towards Bourbon laughing our asses off and looking back at her.

I wish I knew what the dude in the truck was thinking, but it was amazing from our POV.

i don't know if you were trying to reference POV porn at all there, but you win anyway.
http://www.youjizz.com/videos/jenna-haze-fuck-and-facial-121072.html