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Author Topic: Deconstructing Ari  (Read 1914 times)
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Cosme
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« on: May 25, 2011, 01:46:18 AM »

The Dave Carnie Treatment:
http://alreadybeendone.com/content/2011/05/25/paradox-griptape/
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Hercules Rockefeller
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« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2011, 02:01:36 AM »
awesome.
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iKobrakai
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« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2011, 02:09:52 AM »
I love Carnie! I think that whenever somebody trys to charge for something spiritual/religius it is bullshit for sure.
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rfox
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« Reply #3 on: May 25, 2011, 02:43:55 AM »
Best Line

"He then got out a diagram of a human body with spirals and auras drawn around it. There was marijuana dust all over the paper"
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"The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else and this is a feeling I have always cultivated." -Oscar Wilde
Donkey Lips
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has anyone seen sponge harris?


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« Reply #4 on: May 25, 2011, 03:44:36 AM »
"'But you know when you see people doing kung fu and they?re going like this,? he does some slow motion Chinese weird shit."

Never tried the grip, still. But then again, I'm one of those dudes that rides stock bushings in my trucks, so I can't tell the difference in anything.
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AWFUL WAFFLE
StabMasterArson
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« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2011, 06:58:40 AM »
I'm not entirely sure whats worse, the people that know they cash in on bullshit gimmiks, or the fools that buy into the hype.
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Quote from: artichoke on July 09, 2008, 01:20:57 PM
Michigan, killin' it as usual.
grimcity
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« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2011, 07:29:56 AM »
Quote
Like, we got three brains. So where did the reptilian brain come from and how come a monkey aint got one? So I went to school for that.
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Hercules Rockefeller
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« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2011, 07:35:41 AM »
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Rutger Hauer
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« Reply #8 on: May 25, 2011, 09:03:06 AM »
Fuck this was a good read.
Carnie's the shit.

I've tried the grip and never felt anything special. Maybe that one time but I guess I was drunk then.
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"I don't know what my appeal is. I can see I've got blue eyes and don't look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame but I can't understand the fuss."
very_undude
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« Reply #9 on: May 25, 2011, 09:05:12 AM »
"Chinese weird shit alchemy hocus pocus"

this article has more one liners than the big labowski.
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Manolo
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« Reply #10 on: May 25, 2011, 09:53:15 AM »
"exotic magical ninja shit" and "chinese weird shit alchemy hocus pocus" pretty much sums it up.
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dualmoniterstokers
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« Reply #11 on: May 25, 2011, 09:59:26 AM »
"Holograms are man made and only reach 4 dimensions."

Sorry, which 4 dimensions are these again?

"Crystals are made by mother earth and radiate to much higher dimensions and therefore bring in more light- ie the diamond- how did ancient people know a simple looking rock, contained so much light? A quartz crystal in nature is much more impressive, with its clarity and facets. Well, it was the magi, the wizards, and the holy shaman that "felt" the power of this simple rock and then found out through faceting that it contains more light than any other mineral."

Yeah? If minerals contain light, why can't I see them in the dark?  Are you sure you don't mean refracts more light than any other mineral?  Because quartz has an index of refraction between 1.5 - 1.6 which is pretty low on the scale compared to other crystals.

" Like, we got three brains. So where did the reptilian brain come from and how come a monkey aint got one? So I went to school for that. And I realized that was complete bullshit."

Really?  So monkeys don't have a basal ganglia (the complex known as the reptilian brain) like all other mammals and all of my neuroscience textbooks are lying?

"He talked about them, but I can't quite follow Ari. He's a fast talker, he has a lot of information he wants to share, centuries of knowledge, and he touches only briefly on large topics before he's on to the next subject."

How convenient for him.  Sounds like the tactics of a snake oil salesman.

If he actually believes what he's saying he's a closed-minded idiot
If not he's an unrelenting asshole and one hell of a marketer.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2011, 10:02:34 AM by dualmoniterstokers » Logged
Quote from: Canuck on March 18, 2009, 03:26:59 PM
Today I read that in dinosaur times the days were 23 hours long. This is because every day the Earth rotates slower and slower. So in a few million years will have a 25 hour day! More time to get fuckin' baked!
grimcity
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« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2011, 10:38:38 AM »
Quote from: dualmoniterstokers on May 25, 2011, 09:59:26 AM
Sorry, which 4 dimensions are these again?

...he skipped the first three, started with time, then shit got hypothetical!
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L33Tg33k
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« Reply #13 on: May 25, 2011, 10:44:39 AM »
My hate for Ari and his ilk burns with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.
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Quote from: Hypnotoad on November 22, 2012, 02:15:53 AM
Blows my mind that people are leaving companies run by established pros in favor of one run by Nick Trapasso, who I'm pretty sure can't county to twenty without taking off his shoes.
Lurkenstock
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« Reply #14 on: May 25, 2011, 07:37:36 PM »
Dave Carnie killing the game as usual.
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Random Matt
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« Reply #15 on: May 25, 2011, 07:44:43 PM »
4 dimensions are often mistakenly referenced as length, wide, height (the accepted 3) and time (a dimension, but it's different. television is not 3 dimensional).  Holograms are technically 2 dimensional, not 4.

-Real shitty first post, huh?
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Tale Crab
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« Reply #16 on: May 25, 2011, 09:45:52 PM »
Thanks for clearing it up Matty!

I always knew there was something magical about these.
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Sexy Alf
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so damn sexy


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« Reply #17 on: May 26, 2011, 11:52:32 AM »
^I think that card used to be worth some dough, like $125.  Tongue
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BriDen
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« Reply #18 on: May 26, 2011, 01:51:09 PM »
YTP: Ari Gold Knows What He's Talking About Small | Large
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grimcity
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« Reply #19 on: May 26, 2011, 01:57:42 PM »
Duffy's dog is my fave.
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burm
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« Reply #20 on: May 26, 2011, 08:58:08 PM »
I've never heard of Bob and Jessie teaching dogs how to walk.
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