Most embarrassing shit that's happened to you

[floop]

i'm about 97% certain that my elderly neighbor across the street has seen me jerking off through the window.  as in, probably multiple times.  i was at their place with my girlfriend and we realized we could see right down into our living room from there place.  people were joking around saying "oh, wow you can see right into the living room there.." and made jokes like, "oh, you guys can spy on us" and then she, this old sweedish woman, said directly to me "yeah you better watch what you're doing in there"..  and i was like, oh fuck. 

anyone got any good ones?

[The Poster Formerly Known As Crass]

It was my first month or two at a new kindergarten in Alaska.  We had story time and the whole class had to sit down Indian style and listen to the teacher read. She was a bitch and didn't like disruptions. I had to piss so bad but I didn't want to get in trouble. I held it in for 10 minutes and we were about to leave and all of a sudden I start peeing. I just sat there and looked straight ahead. Luckily the class started to get up for lunch. I don't think anyone saw because no one laughed. There was a big wet spot in the carpet. Not sure how I went the rest of the day with pissed pants.

[sametelt]

I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

When I was in like 3rd grade I used to hate shitting in public bathrooms. I still do, but I did back then too. Anyway, one day it was too much to handle, and I asked to go to the bathroom. I went, and as I got there and pulled down my pants, shit shot out of my ass and straight onto the bathroom floor. I felt bad, so I tried to clean it up. The shit was kind of stuck to the ground, and I couldn't get it in one piece. I started picking it up basically in globs, and eventually, my clothes were covered in my shit. I had to walk back into class, covered in shit. The teacher had to stop class, and we went to the lost and found and I had to wear a pair of white sweat pants and a school t-shirt for the rest of the day.

In 7th grade I tried to dye my hair pink. I have black hair, and didn't bleach it, so obviously the dye didn't do much. I eventually put the entire bottle on my head, and then just hopped in the shower to wash it out. The dye ran down my body and I went to school for two days bright pink from head to toe. My senior yearbook has references in it of those two days in people's signatures.

[Archie Bunker]

When I was in like 3rd grade I used to hate shitting in public bathrooms. I still do, but I did back then too. Anyway, one day it was too much to handle, and I asked to go to the bathroom. I went, and as I got there and pulled down my pants, shit shot out of my ass and straight onto the bathroom floor. I felt bad, so I tried to clean it up. The shit was kind of stuck to the ground, and I couldn't get it in one piece. I started picking it up basically in globs, and eventually, my clothes were covered in my shit. I had to walk back into class, covered in shit. The teacher had to stop class, and we went to the lost and found and I had to wear a pair of white sweat pants and a school t-shirt for the rest of the day.

In 7th grade I tried to dye my hair pink. I have black hair, and didn't bleach it, so obviously the dye didn't do much. I eventually put the entire bottle on my head, and then just hopped in the shower to wash it out. The dye ran down my body and I went to school for two days bright pink from head to toe. My senior yearbook has references in it of those two days in people's signatures.

that fuckin blows because people probably thought you shit your pants, but you didn't actually shit your pants and were just trying to do the janitor a favor.  Now everybody just remembers you as the guy who shit his pants in 3rd grade

[William Jefferson Clinton]

Got caught jackin off in the school bathroom.

[Cadillac Ranch Dressing]

Another piss one. I wanted to piss. Teacher said wait. I waited. Then she said ok so I ran to the bathroom and literally pissed my pants right in front of the toilet. I somehow managed to work up the courage to walk back into the classroom with my wet pants and I went up to the teacher and was like "well... now what?" so i had to change into my gym clothes for the rest of the day.

[popsiclesandskatin]

My friends angry asshole dad was yelling at us and it scared me and I pissed my pants.
I think most people on slap pee their pants!
One time I woke up on the couch and I must have shit my pants in my sleep. There was so much! That was the worst.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

When I was in like 3rd grade I used to hate shitting in public bathrooms. I still do, but I did back then too. Anyway, one day it was too much to handle, and I asked to go to the bathroom. I went, and as I got there and pulled down my pants, shit shot out of my ass and straight onto the bathroom floor. I felt bad, so I tried to clean it up. The shit was kind of stuck to the ground, and I couldn't get it in one piece. I started picking it up basically in globs, and eventually, my clothes were covered in my shit. I had to walk back into class, covered in shit. The teacher had to stop class, and we went to the lost and found and I had to wear a pair of white sweat pants and a school t-shirt for the rest of the day.

In 7th grade I tried to dye my hair pink. I have black hair, and didn't bleach it, so obviously the dye didn't do much. I eventually put the entire bottle on my head, and then just hopped in the shower to wash it out. The dye ran down my body and I went to school for two days bright pink from head to toe. My senior yearbook has references in it of those two days in people's signatures.

that fuckin blows because people probably thought you shit your pants, but you didn't actually shit your pants and were just trying to do the janitor a favor.  Now everybody just remembers you as the guy who shit his pants in 3rd grade

You are dead on with that one. The funny thing is, I didn't even have to switch out my underwear. I used to argue it, but it was hard to argue with them when I did come into the room covered in shit.
Its funny, because when you look at the title of this thread, that first story is literally the most embarassing shit that's happened to me.

[Archie Bunker]

it's alright man, when i used to live in san leandro/hayward, i had to pee really bad after school and so my mom pulled over at kfc and right as she parked i just started pissing myself in the car.  then again i was 4

[daddy]

Passed out and pee'd my pant's in a Tower Records in San Diego after taking an oxy contin and not eating. I think I got a concussion. 

[Doogie Howser Ph.D.]

Nothing embarrassing happens to me..  I fucking get drunk/high and walk around my house naked or if Im in public harrass women.. I take everything in stride.

[Archie Bunker]

Nothing embarrassing happens to me..  I fucking get drunk/high and walk around my house naked or if Im in public harrass women.. I take everything in stride.

you looked pretty embarrassed when you had to explain to harold that you got love stains all over his back seat

[Doogie Howser Ph.D.]

dude fuck no.  Fuck Harold, fuckin pussy.. Kumar's tight though

[Archie Bunker]

dude fuck no.  Fuck Harold, fuckin pussy.. Kumar's tight though

harold is pretty cool when he's high. until he gets super paranoid. then he's just annoying

[kevbo999]

fell flat forward after tripping in a busy intersection
farted while leaning in to make out, haven't seen her since
first day new job, fly down, at least one co-worker saw wang
dropped a bar tray full of wine at a funeral reception
having to wear my dad's clothes to a party
 
there's definitely tons more i'm just kinda blank right now

[Smell Good]

Yo, my brother just pantsed me yesterday, so I'm sure my entire family knows what my penis looks like.

It fucking sucks losing at your own game.

[Bronson]

As a kid when my parents found my hidden porn-tapes and proceeded to watch them. Or maybe watching porn on the computer in my room and the sound-volume controller falling off the table to the ground and turning on full volume, making the whole house echo with IM GONNA COME IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DIRTY BITCH OOOOOOOOOOOHH in ear-shattering volume.
 I don't get that embarrassed anymore as I've gotten a bit older.

[brent]

one time i had diarrhea at school(held it all day,) when i got home i was locked out of my house and had to climb through a window. when i hoisted myself up i crapped my pants.
i pissed my pants in 3rd grade because the special ed kids blocked off the bathroom and it took them forever to get out.
in 8th grade i got caught jerking off to the britney spears sometimes video .

[Filip]

Two of my friends always go to Denmark for summer, because they always make a shitload of money there.. And Last September, when they came back, we made them a welcome home party at our local bar, where w go drinking, if its only skaters... I got litterally the most drunk I probably could, wasnt able to walk and shit. I kinda blacked out and woke up home next morning, no memory or anything. So far so good, Im saying to myself, that was one hell of a party.  But next day, when I was going back home from skating, I got a phonecall from one of my friends, that I we were on TV. I was like WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, IF MY PARENTS SAW IT IM DEAD! Im 21 but I still dont like being drunk in front of them.. Turned out, that there was a fight, and one dude got really fucked, and he was in a coma or something, and they have to use some footage of many people in one group for illustration, and the fucking TV guys decided to use a footage from the bar I was in, so I was on TV falling down on my face.  My family didnt catch it, luckily, but as I got home and turned on facebook, there was a message from all of my friends pointing out the footage and laughing their face off. I was afraid to go to that bar for the next 3 months, because I did some weird shit in there and vomited on the dancefloor too.. Worst night of my life.

[Archie Bunker]

Two of my friends always go to Denmark for summer, because they always make a shitload of money there.. And Last September, when they came back, we made them a welcome home party at our local bar, where w go drinking, if its only skaters... I got litterally the most drunk I probably could, wasnt able to walk and shit. I kinda blacked out and woke up home next morning, no memory or anything. So far so good, Im saying to myself, that was one hell of a party.  But next day, when I was going back home from skating, I got a phonecall from one of my friends, that I we were on TV. I was like WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, IF MY PARENTS SAW IT IM DEAD! Im 21 but I still dont like being drunk in front of them.. Turned out, that there was a fight, and one dude got really fucked, and he was in a coma or something, and they have to use some footage of many people in one group for illustration, and the fucking TV guys decided to use a footage from the bar I was in, so I was on TV falling down on my face.  My family didnt catch it, luckily, but as I got home and turned on facebook, there was a message from all of my friends pointing out the footage and laughing their face off. I was afraid to go to that bar for the next 3 months, because I did some weird shit in there and vomited on the dancefloor too.. Worst night of my life.

what do they do in denmark to make money? im trynna go next year

[Jack Klompis]

when i was like 13 or so i went to the mall with my friends parents, his sister went too and she had some friends, so my friend was tryin to buy a deck, and we did and set it up and went outside to skate in the parkin lot. i can't remember if i had to shit the whole time, but at that point i really had to go and finally decided the mall bathroom had to cut it. i cut in through jc penny and knew i was cuttin it close, i almost got there, and right before i walked into the stall it all let loose. it was one of those shits where its not that solid, but not gross runny shit either, enough to fall down my leg though. i had no idea what to do, i took off my pants and ditched my boxers, but i really had no means to clean up other than a tp wipedown on my skin, i was gonna stink no matter what. so we all get back in the car immediately after the incident, and i start gettin called out instantly, somethin smells, roll down the windows, eyes are on me, and someone points out that there is poop on my sock, so i tried to cover it up by sayin someone had shit on the floor and i stepped in it, they made me throw my socks out the window and i was embarrassed for the whole summer

in kindergarten i had to have the teacher wipe my ass for me, i guess she should be posting in here

[Filip]

Two of my friends always go to Denmark for summer, because they always make a shitload of money there.. And Last September, when they came back, we made them a welcome home party at our local bar, where w go drinking, if its only skaters... I got litterally the most drunk I probably could, wasnt able to walk and shit. I kinda blacked out and woke up home next morning, no memory or anything. So far so good, Im saying to myself, that was one hell of a party.  But next day, when I was going back home from skating, I got a phonecall from one of my friends, that I we were on TV. I was like WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, IF MY PARENTS SAW IT IM DEAD! Im 21 but I still dont like being drunk in front of them.. Turned out, that there was a fight, and one dude got really fucked, and he was in a coma or something, and they have to use some footage of many people in one group for illustration, and the fucking TV guys decided to use a footage from the bar I was in, so I was on TV falling down on my face.  My family didnt catch it, luckily, but as I got home and turned on facebook, there was a message from all of my friends pointing out the footage and laughing their face off. I was afraid to go to that bar for the next 3 months, because I did some weird shit in there and vomited on the dancefloor too.. Worst night of my life.

what do they do in denmark to make money? im trynna go next year

They work in a restaurant and a bar, I could not believe that when they told me....Seriously, they make way too much money for that shit.

[floop]

When I was in like 3rd grade I used to hate shitting in public bathrooms. I still do, but I did back then too. Anyway, one day it was too much to handle, and I asked to go to the bathroom. I went, and as I got there and pulled down my pants, shit shot out of my ass and straight onto the bathroom floor. I felt bad, so I tried to clean it up. The shit was kind of stuck to the ground, and I couldn't get it in one piece. I started picking it up basically in globs, and eventually, my clothes were covered in my shit. I had to walk back into class, covered in shit. The teacher had to stop class, and we went to the lost and found and I had to wear a pair of white sweat pants and a school t-shirt for the rest of the day.

In 7th grade I tried to dye my hair pink. I have black hair, and didn't bleach it, so obviously the dye didn't do much. I eventually put the entire bottle on my head, and then just hopped in the shower to wash it out. The dye ran down my body and I went to school for two days bright pink from head to toe. My senior yearbook has references in it of those two days in people's signatures.

that fuckin blows because people probably thought you shit your pants, but you didn't actually shit your pants and were just trying to do the janitor a favor.� Now everybody just remembers you as the guy who shit his pants in 3rd grade

You are dead on with that one. The funny thing is, I didn't even have to switch out my underwear. I used to argue it, but it was hard to argue with them when I did come into the room covered in shit.
Its funny, because when you look at the title of this thread, that first story is literally the most embarassing shit that's happened to me.

i appreciate you taking the thread title to heart

[Miadaskate]

You are dead on with that one. The funny thing is, I didn't even have to switch out my underwear. I used to argue it, but it was hard to argue with them when I did come into the room covered in shit.
Its funny, because when you look at the title of this thread, that first story is literally the most embarassing shit that's happened to me.

i appreciate you taking the thread title to heart

Then you might like this :

One night at work, my boss came back and franticly searched for me when she noticed I wasn't behind the desk. She walked in on me taking a shit. Figures, the one time I forget to lock the door...

Another embarrassing shit story that comes to mind is one I may have posted before. One day I used the upstairs toilet which I hardly ever use and took a massive shit. Total domination. It was so bad that it clogged the toilet. I couldn't find a plunger, so I used my hands and broke up the shit into smaller pieces so it would flush.

I shit my pants in 8th grade and my junior year of highschool. Both times I tried to cover it up by throwing away my underwear. Good thing they both happened at the end of the day.

[RoedGroed]

Two of my friends always go to Denmark for summer, because they always make a shitload of money there.. And Last September, when they came back, we made them a welcome home party at our local bar, where w go drinking, if its only skaters... I got litterally the most drunk I probably could, wasnt able to walk and shit. I kinda blacked out and woke up home next morning, no memory or anything. So far so good, Im saying to myself, that was one hell of a party.  But next day, when I was going back home from skating, I got a phonecall from one of my friends, that I we were on TV. I was like WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, IF MY PARENTS SAW IT IM DEAD! Im 21 but I still dont like being drunk in front of them.. Turned out, that there was a fight, and one dude got really fucked, and he was in a coma or something, and they have to use some footage of many people in one group for illustration, and the fucking TV guys decided to use a footage from the bar I was in, so I was on TV falling down on my face.  My family didnt catch it, luckily, but as I got home and turned on facebook, there was a message from all of my friends pointing out the footage and laughing their face off. I was afraid to go to that bar for the next 3 months, because I did some weird shit in there and vomited on the dancefloor too.. Worst night of my life.

what do they do in denmark to make money? im trynna go next year

They work in a restaurant and a bar, I could not believe that when they told me....Seriously, they make way too much money for that shit.

Im from Denmark. I have worked at a restaurant and a bar. I have never made any money.. Taxes is crazy here.

Regarding embarassing shit, I once peed my pants on the ladder to some waterslide at the public pool. There was a crazy line and i didnt want to loose my spot. The pee was all over the place, and ran down on the kids further down on the ladder. I tried to pass it of as water from the pool, but I had been standing in line for 5 min and was all dried up. They didn't by it. I was embarrased. Think I was 5 or 6 years old.

[Locbrew]

Wearing hand-me-downs, especially when your older brother is 7 years older than you and you rep the fuck out of some white/pink shorts in 1st grade. Went to PE and split my pants. Got thrown up on by a friend of mine in kindergarden, had to get clothes out of the lost & found box. Tripped over some bricks in the courtyard at my High School during morning before the bell, there was at least 4,000 kids out there. Tried to be cool and slide down this handrail at school going to art class, had my Kerry Getz Clive bookbag loaded with books, the rail is at least 30 feet long, got halfway down and lost my balance and ended up powerbombing myself on the flat of the stairs in front of some girls.

[Hexagon]

Got black out drunk last night and proceeded to piss the bed with my girlfriend sleeping next to me. oops.

[Man Without A Plan]

I remember I was a Sophomore in High School when Steve jobs debuted the iPhone. When it finally hit shops my old friend Charlie got it and that phone was like his kid, he would always be looking at it and always have it in his hand. Whenever someone would ask to see it he would go ape shit and on a rampage about how he could only see it. After the summer when Junior year had just started, about a month into it, I snatched it out of his backpack and brought it with me to English class. I turned it on and the first thing that popped up was a porn video. I was in the middle of it and right before the climax the teacher swiped it out of my hand and when I realized the situation all my natural senses just died down. He held it in his hand for a few minutes, while giving his lecture. When the class had to write a essay response he sat down and looked at it for a few minutes. After those painful few minutes ended he walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face, thew it on my desk and said "If I catch anything like that again on your phone, I'll break the damn thing and have you suspended!" The whole class new what I was looking at, because I got heckled for it while class ened. I wanted to vomit from embarrassment.

[Tyroneshoelaces]

i once was at a party, and i searched out the most remote and untraversed toilet in this huge house, and then made the worst poo ever...really of all time it had to be up there in top 10 of life.    it smelled like i was pooping rotten human remains.  disgusting, it's not everyday you gross yourself out.  i was getting so nauseous i had to cover my nose.  so i finsish then  i open the door and the girl i like so bad is waiting for the toilet.   she went in and then never talked to me again.