awkward situations thread.

[Jumping Beans]

Bump.

I was working the breakfast shift this morning, and there's this 90 year old lady who comes everyday and always talks to me about whatever..  So she starts talking about this local native chief with a tax payed salary of 300k, how we bought the natives fishing boats and they let them rot, etc etc... Since the owners love her, and I love getting tipped, I basically just nodded and said "yeah, oh yeah" to whatever she said.

Sure enough, one of the two ladies next to us was native.  She asked for a complaint form and said we were being racist. I just said I try to be friendly to everyone, then went to my boss and covered my ass before he got the story elsewhere.  When I got back they were all gone, and the racist lady had left me four bucks.

[Merked]

Currently working, Asian lady walks in, says to my coworker, her name is Sheeting Dong.  Or at least that is what it sounded like.  I burst out laughing.  Couldn't help it.  "Shitting Dong."  I am still a child at heart.  The Asian lady gave me a dirty look, but I really don't think she understood.  Asian people are very oblivious to their surroundings.  I am friends with several Asians and that is just a concept that I have noticed.  I am not trying to be racist.  Shitting Dong.

[poopmonkey]

everything's racist nowadays. when someone says something that sounds funny, it's funny regardless of what race that person is.

[SqueezeThePulp]

so my mom hires one of her friends businesses' to clean our house once a month, one of the employees happens to be sorta my ex-gf, and so they came to clean this morning and then left around 11:30, well anyway I got high and then ran an errand and got the munchies, so I went to the local sandwich place up the road. Lo and behold, the cleaning ladies were there (a family friend and an ex-gf). I didn't even notice them at first, but as I went to sit down after I had placed my order, I look over and there they are right next to my table. They giggle and say hey and I become self-conscious because I am fucking high. I get up, change my order from a "for-here" to a "to-go" and dipset. It wasn't really that awkward but I was high and felt like they could tell. Fuck, I'm still high. Also, I'm 20.

French Montana- Headquarters (CokeBoys 3) *EXCLUSIVE*

[Hercules Rockefeller]

Bump.

I was working the breakfast shift this morning, and there's this 90 year old lady who comes everyday and always talks to me about whatever..  So she starts talking about this local native chief with a tax payed salary of 300k, how we bought the natives fishing boats and they let them rot, etc etc... Since the owners love her, and I love getting tipped, I basically just nodded and said "yeah, oh yeah" to whatever she said.

Sure enough, one of the two ladies next to us was native.  She asked for a complaint form and said we were being racist. I just said I try to be friendly to everyone, then went to my boss and covered my ass before he got the story elsewhere.  When I got back they were all gone, and the racist lady had left me four bucks.

racism pays.

[Alan]

Yeah, but he didn't get a fishing boat like dem injuns!

[Goblinshark]

happened a few years back, but I was skating a spot with a new Peter Ramondetta board when he and Ernie Torres show up to the spot. I saw Peter was riding a deck from the same series and assumed it was the same model so I went up to him and tried to jokingly say "nice board man". Turns out he was riding Max's model and gave me a look that made me feel like one of those kids asking what kind of bearings you ride. Awkward fo sho. Talked to Ernie a bunch though and he was super nice and friendly, so that killed that awkward feeling.

[jack burton]

Im pretty sure I remember reading a interview with pete saying he felt weird about riding boards with his own name on it.

[Goblinshark]

Im pretty sure I remember reading a interview with pete saying he felt weird about riding boards with his own name on it.

well now I just feel terrible

[formeitscrazylike]

Recently in line at Duane Peters (or Duane Reade to those not in the know) and the line is long and the cashiers are all sassy black chicks so it goes even slower cause they HAVE to offer up their opinions on shit while you check out. Anyway, I'm in line and some real goofy looking dude is in line ahead of me and he has like, 17 things in his arms, trying to hang on to all of it. So he drops some shit in line, and I can see the panic in his body language, just so stressed about his predicament. So he starts shifting things SUPER slow, like, a fucking sloth would shift things it's carrying. This dude is STRUGGLING to get a free hand [side note, I was high as fuck, he either was high as well, or his mother was high the entire time she had him in her womb] so after maybe 90 seconds, I'm like, fuck it, I'll pick it up for you you stupid fuck. So I pick it up and try to hand it to him and this dude gives me the craziest look ever. Not like a threatening crazy look, but a look like I just took a shit out of my eyeballs. This continues for what feels like a full minute, though it was probably closer to 7 seconds. This dumb fuck STILL doesn't have a free hand, so I play grocery jenga and just kinda place it on top of his stack.

He dropped it again, I did not pick it up. Everyone suffered. The end.

[formeitscrazylike]

OO another one.

Talking with a classmate outside of class about said class. He says "Yo you know that Asian girl with the glasses that sit up front?"

and we both simultaneously speak and it comes out as:

Him: "She asks really great questions."
Me: "Yeah that girl asks the stupidest questions..."
Him: ...
Me: "... I mean, she asks some good ones sometimes."

[Merked]

Recently in line at Duane Peters (or Duane Reade to those not in the know) and the line is long and the cashiers are all sassy black chicks so it goes even slower cause they HAVE to offer up their opinions on shit while you check out. Anyway, I'm in line and some real goofy looking dude is in line ahead of me and he has like, 17 things in his arms, trying to hang on to all of it. So he drops some shit in line, and I can see the panic in his body language, just so stressed about his predicament. So he starts shifting things SUPER slow, like, a fucking sloth would shift things it's carrying. This dude is STRUGGLING to get a free hand [side note, I was high as fuck, he either was high as well, or his mother was high the entire time she had him in her womb] so after maybe 90 seconds, I'm like, fuck it, I'll pick it up for you you stupid fuck. So I pick it up and try to hand it to him and this dude gives me the craziest look ever. Not like a threatening crazy look, but a look like I just took a shit out of my eyeballs. This continues for what feels like a full minute, though it was probably closer to 7 seconds. This dumb fuck STILL doesn't have a free hand, so I play grocery jenga and just kinda place it on top of his stack.

He dropped it again, I did not pick it up. Everyone suffered. The end.

That is some serious Awkwardness.  I loled at "play grocery jenga."  Well written bro and very funny.

[_UniversalTruth_]

me: let's use another colour, this one looks ugly.
my italian female classmate: like my jacket?
i look at her chair, the jacket has the same coloring.
me: yes, like your jacket [pause] .. i mean no, not exactly... .

[commie]

One night I was sleeping over at this girl's place after a night of drinking. Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, whipped my dick out, peed on her dress that was on the floor, and went back to bed like a boss. I don't remember doing that, nor do I know what would possess me to do such a thing. I might have a sleepwalking problem.

[Truancy]

One night I was sleeping over at this girl's place after a night of drinking. Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, whipped my dick out, peed on her dress that was on the floor, and went back to bed like a boss. I don't remember doing that, nor do I know what would possess me to do such a thing. I might have a sleepwalking problem.

I could see how you'd misread the title, as awkward and awesome both start with the same letters.

[skate_bored]

One night I was sleeping over at this girl's place after a night of drinking. Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, whipped my dick out, peed on her dress that was on the floor, and went back to bed like a boss. I don't remember doing that, nor do I know what would possess me to do such a thing. I might have a sleepwalking problem.

ive done this many times. it started when i first started drinking a lot, around 22. i woke up in my hallway at 5am butt naked and had pissed in the corner. then i woke up one night and was pissing in my closet, as if i had opened the bathroom door and found the toilet. then at my girlfriends one night in her shoes on the floor. the best was when i woke up to her screaming at me as i peed on her in the bed. she said i got up to pee, opened the bedroom door and turned right back around and whipped my dick out and started pissing on the bed where we were sleeping. luckily it was so watered down that it only took a towel to take care of the situation. i have no idea why it happens but its happened to a lot of my friends too. still never actually pissed the bed though.

[DJSoftspot]

Currently working, Asian lady walks in, says to my coworker, her name is Sheeting Dong.  Or at least that is what it sounded like.  I burst out laughing.  Couldn't help it.  "Shitting Dong."  I am still a child at heart.  The Asian lady gave me a dirty look, but I really don't think she understood.  Asian people are very oblivious to their surroundings.  I am friends with several Asians and that is just a concept that I have noticed.  I am not trying to be racist.  Shitting Dong.

"Not trying to sound racist, but..." youre a fuckin racist

[MuchasGracias]

My most recent awkward situation. Standing in line at Wendy's, there's a guy behind me on the phone speaking to his gf or someone. In walks this middle aged Asian couple, they end up behind the dude on the phone. The Asian couple start talking in their language really fucking loud, I think they were chinese. Anyway the dude on the phone tell's them politely to quiet down, they do. About a minute goes by and the couple starts talking again,  I look back and the guy on the phone is getting pissed, he looks back at the couple and yells "eveyone is getting fucking annoyed by your voices, shut up!". The couple looked shocked and walked out, the guy just proceeds to talk on the phone not giving a fuck, it was pretty funny actually.

[theloniousmonk]

One night I was sleeping over at this girl's place after a night of drinking. Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, whipped my dick out, peed on her dress that was on the floor, and went back to bed like a boss. I don't remember doing that, nor do I know what would possess me to do such a thing. I might have a sleepwalking problem.

ive done this many times. it started when i first started drinking a lot, around 22. i woke up in my hallway at 5am butt naked and had pissed in the corner. then i woke up one night and was pissing in my closet, as if i had opened the bathroom door and found the toilet. then at my girlfriends one night in her shoes on the floor. the best was when i woke up to her screaming at me as i peed on her in the bed. she said i got up to pee, opened the bedroom door and turned right back around and whipped my dick out and started pissing on the bed where we were sleeping. luckily it was so watered down that it only took a towel to take care of the situation. i have no idea why it happens but its happened to a lot of my friends too. still never actually pissed the bed though.

I have this pissing problem as well. The first time it happened was like 15 years ago in high school, I went into my parents room, opened a drawer like I was lifting the toilet seat, did it, and went to bed. Once, I did the same thing at my wife's house when we were first dating.

However, the best story happened to a friend of mine, who skated but was more of a jackass around douche bag. He took a girl home and in the morning awoke naked in bed, with his clothes and the young lady missing from the room. For some reason, he took this as an insult and thought to himself, I've got to get back at her. He shit alcohol shit all over her bed, and replaced the blankets.
She then came into his room with his clothes freshly washed and ironed.
 Fucking idiot!

[oyolar]

That is awesome.

[Archie Bunker]

One night I was sleeping over at this girl's place after a night of drinking. Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, whipped my dick out, peed on her dress that was on the floor, and went back to bed like a boss. I don't remember doing that, nor do I know what would possess me to do such a thing. I might have a sleepwalking problem.

ive done this many times. it started when i first started drinking a lot, around 22. i woke up in my hallway at 5am butt naked and had pissed in the corner. then i woke up one night and was pissing in my closet, as if i had opened the bathroom door and found the toilet. then at my girlfriends one night in her shoes on the floor. the best was when i woke up to her screaming at me as i peed on her in the bed. she said i got up to pee, opened the bedroom door and turned right back around and whipped my dick out and started pissing on the bed where we were sleeping. luckily it was so watered down that it only took a towel to take care of the situation. i have no idea why it happens but its happened to a lot of my friends too. still never actually pissed the bed though.

I have this pissing problem as well. The first time it happened was like 15 years ago in high school, I went into my parents room, opened a drawer like I was lifting the toilet seat, did it, and went to bed. Once, I did the same thing at my wife's house when we were first dating.

However, the best story happened to a friend of mine, who skated but was more of a jackass around douche bag. He took a girl home and in the morning awoke naked in bed, with his clothes and the young lady missing from the room. For some reason, he took this as an insult and thought to himself, I've got to get back at her. He shit alcohol shit all over her bed, and replaced the blankets.
She then came into his room with his clothes freshly washed and ironed.
 Fucking idiot!

don't really understand what's going on here.  so this dude takes a girl back to HIS crib, and then shits all over his own bed?

[ontheswarm]

One night I was sleeping over at this girl's place after a night of drinking. Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, whipped my dick out, peed on her dress that was on the floor, and went back to bed like a boss. I don't remember doing that, nor do I know what would possess me to do such a thing. I might have a sleepwalking problem.

ive done this many times. it started when i first started drinking a lot, around 22. i woke up in my hallway at 5am butt naked and had pissed in the corner. then i woke up one night and was pissing in my closet, as if i had opened the bathroom door and found the toilet. then at my girlfriends one night in her shoes on the floor. the best was when i woke up to her screaming at me as i peed on her in the bed. she said i got up to pee, opened the bedroom door and turned right back around and whipped my dick out and started pissing on the bed where we were sleeping. luckily it was so watered down that it only took a towel to take care of the situation. i have no idea why it happens but its happened to a lot of my friends too. still never actually pissed the bed though.

I have this pissing problem as well. The first time it happened was like 15 years ago in high school, I went into my parents room, opened a drawer like I was lifting the toilet seat, did it, and went to bed. Once, I did the same thing at my wife's house when we were first dating.

However, the best story happened to a friend of mine, who skated but was more of a jackass around douche bag. He took a girl home and in the morning awoke naked in bed, with his clothes and the young lady missing from the room. For some reason, he took this as an insult and thought to himself, I've got to get back at her. He shit alcohol shit all over her bed, and replaced the blankets.
She then came into his room with his clothes freshly washed and ironed.
 Fucking idiot!

don't really understand what's going on here.  so this dude takes a girl back to HIS crib, and then shits all over his own bed?

No it was her bed. What I don't get is why he would shit all over her blankets when the girl left him in her room?

[wallieD]

freshman year of high school our english class went to the computer lab. i noticed this random file on the desktop with an odd title. my friend said i should open it, turned out to be porn.. immediately the cursor started flying around my screen closing things down. we had no idea the lab teacher could monitor every computer from her own ,and we were on the other side of the room. so i went up to her and asked what was going on with my computer and she said oh i think you know... i was trying to explain it was already on the desktop when i got there, and i didn't know what it was but she kept cutting me off saying mmhmm sure it was, sure. i couldn't win.. left feeling like a real creeper

[GarglesCmen]

freshman year of high school our english class went to the computer lab. i noticed this random file on the desktop with an odd title. my friend said i should open it, turned out to be porn.. immediately the cursor started flying around my screen closing things down. we had no idea the lab teacher could monitor every computer from her own ,and we were on the other side of the room. so i went up to her and asked what was going on with my computer and she said oh i think you know... i was trying to explain it was already on the desktop when i got there, and i didn't know what it was but she kept cutting me off saying mmhmm sure it was, sure. i couldn't win.. left feeling like a real creeper

In 8th grade I was looking at porn when we had to do this project for art. It was more of some funny porn me and a couple buds saw and we were showing people. I noticed my teacher walking up and I just closed the window. She checked my browser history and opened up the last webpage I was on. In a class that was more that 50% female, I was fucking embarrassed that I got called out like that even though other people were showing it off also. The porno called "The Lord of the G-String" or something like that.