Stupid Shit You've Done

[Clayton]

Right after I graduated high school I had a shit load of grad-money in my wallet. A van pulls up at a gas station with three dudes and the back is filled with stereo surround sounds for TVs. One of them walks up to me and starts his sales pitch. Shows me the catalog they are featured in where they retail for $2500. He tells me he'll sell me one for $300. In my head I thought, "hmmm VX2000s retail for that much and sell on ebay for $1300. I can make a profit!" I give him $300 that under any other circumstance I wouldn't have had. Immediately go home and log on ebay. I find numerous versions of the same models starting at $70 with zero bids. I couldn't even use the surround sound myself because it was the fancy kind you needed an amp for. After holding onto it for 7 years out of spite I finally threw that shit out.

Also driving home blackout drunk, waking up the next morning finding puke residue I didn't remember creating, the keys still in the front door, and my car parked crooked as hell with the blinker still on after starting it the next morning.

[clamy]

Right after I graduated high school I had a shit load of grad-money in my wallet. A van pulls up at a gas station with three dudes and the back is filled with stereo surround sounds for TVs. One of them walks up to me and starts his sales pitch. Shows me the catalog they are featured in where they retail for $2500. He tells me he'll sell me one for $300. In my head I thought, "hmmm VX2000s retail for that much and sell on ebay for $1300. I can make a profit!" I give him $300 that under any other circumstance I wouldn't have had. Immediately go home and log on ebay. I find numerous versions of the same models starting at $70 with zero bids. I couldn't even use the surround sound myself because it was the fancy kind you needed an amp for. After holding onto it for 7 years out of spite I finally threw that shit out.

haha, some dudes tried to do pull the same shit on me. it was while i was at work, walking to the bank. i just killed some time by fucking with them saying stuff like "i need to get money out of my account", "whats the lowest you can go?" , and just being really indecisive. after like 20 minutes of time wasting i just walked off, then they got in their van and followed me while still trying to sell me their sound system or whatever the fuck it was. after i was done at the bank i saw them heckling some other poor guy. fuck those people.

[ontheswarm]

These are some pretty good stories.

Staying with my ex for 3 years.

Skating my fractured ankle not letting it heal properly.

Quitting my $14 hour job in vegas to move to la. Love the skating in la though.

So I was about 13 or 14 going out with this girl. Her mom and my mom decided to go out to eat somewhere because they were close. My girl and I decided it would be a good idea for me to go to her house real quick so I could smash. I think I was putting it in as her mom walks in the door. We both trip out and she has me hide in the closet. I'm thinking I will just stay there till she goes to sleep no big deal. I was younger and it was getting late so moms is blowing up my phone. I just tell her the truth and tell her to not say anything I will be fine and make it home. Well it was about 1 in the morning and her mom finally decided to go to sleep. I'm sneaking down the stairs and have to dip out with no shoes because she hid them in the garage and it would be too loud to open the door. I make it out and I'm thinking im home free and I'll just call my mom and she'll come get me. As I am pulling out my phone walking down her street I see my moms car. I walk over to her car and get in. She literally called her mom two seconds before I got in the car to tell her the whole situation. She drove me back to her house and we all sat down and had a talk.

[happenstance]

I thought of more:

My friend was at the chalk board with the teacher in Junior year of high school. I threw a pencil at my friend, missed and it came within a centimeter of my teachers head. They both turn around and my jaw is just dropped in shock. No way to cover up I did it, she just knew. She of course has me stay after class and was thinking of what to do. I somehow talked her out of doing anything.

In 7th grade I sprayed my friend's cologne on this girl I had a crush on (because you bully the girls you like at that age, ha!). She broke out in a rash and pretty much hated me until Sophomore year. Blew it with her.

Ran from a cop at gun point while smoking weed Junior year. He let everyone off and I was the subject of a city-wide manhunt in Irvine (the cops are pretty bored there). I was chased at least 6 different times during the day. Jumped through so many backyards to hide, got chased by dogs and people. Actually made it home but the cops were already there when I showed up. Turns out all my friends played dumb as to who I was but one said "I don't know him but that is his car". Moron!

Used to smoke weed on my high school campus all the time.

Again, high school, took 4 vicadin one time and forgot. Smoked a bunch of weed (with Krystal Steal before she began her porn career ) after and pretty much felt like I was going to die. Turned ghost white, had some mild tremors and saw colors. It was scary.

I mentioned I drove drunk but one time was especially bad... In high school again... I drank 6 pitchers of beer. My house was 6 blocks away. I get in my car, close the door, immediately open the door and puke a pile of beer foam 2 feet across on the pavement. Close the door and proceed to projectile vomit, exorcist style, more vomit than I have ever seen in my life in my car. Had to be over a gallon.

I was such a fuck-up until college. Made a lot of sense though because my home life was about as fucked up as it can get. Besides all the brain-cells I lost in the process, I think it worked to my benefit. I got all the partying out of my system and when I went to college I was super focused. Got straight A's at Berkeley. I feel like I could go on forever in this thread.

[woodsman]

I threw a brick at some guys head in the middle of some stupid brawl. Thank god the kid ducked it. Had I smashed his face in like I planned I would probably still be in prison

[ontheswarm]

I remembered some more.

Took loratabs for my first time after eating pf changs. Felt so good but then proceeded to projectile vomit all over my friend's driveway when I dropped him off. Next day went to school after smoking a blunt. Vision started to go black started sweating and feeling cold. I got up to ask the teacher to go to the bathroom but at this point my vision was completely black so I was guessing where the door was. All of sudden I lost my balance and fell back as my teacher caught me by my arms (She could tell there was something wrong). They called someone to bring me a wheelchair. As I was getting into the wheel chair I vomited into the trash can. All my classmates were watching. I was then wheeled to the nurses office and sat there till my mom picked me up. I was fine after all that and went skating later that day.

Puffing my shoes back in the day with other tounges of shoes. I had the all black ellington 1s and I cut the straps of the tounge so they were super fat. The same day my friends dad gave me this walmart type skateboard but it was actually a decent shape just the wood was really weird. I went to this 7 stair that everyone skated to try 360 flip. I was warming up on kickflip when i fractured my ankle. It hasn't been the same since.

[Dominic Hynard]

Making out with a goth/emo chick. She got really attached to me and clingy. So i broke up with her. Then she started self-harming. Now i see it as my fault...

[oneshovel]

Didn't wrap it up the first time I got buns.  Or the next few times after that.
Stole hubcaps from a junkyard for some choch.
Found roommates on kijiji.
Slashed my friend's tire because he was being a dick.
Leaned in to kiss my dreamgirl and accidentally farted.  We haven't spoken since.
And much, much more.

[Amish Rifle]

i'd drive for miles to get home drunk only to wake up once i arrived.

[gutterhead.]

Didn't wrap it up the first time I got buns.  Or the next few times after that.
Stole hubcaps from a junkyard for some choch.
Found roommates on kijiji.
Slashed my friend's tire because he was being a dick.
Leaned in to kiss my dreamgirl and accidentally farted.  We haven't spoken since.
And much, much more.

[realitycontrol]

selling narcotics

driving drunk

beating the shit out of people






really lucky to be alive and with a clean record

[Lordata]

Another stupid hill bomb story.

I'd just gotten a zipzinger type cruiser board. I decided to skate to a hill over a mile from my house on it. I'd bombed the hill before and my normal deck and never got going too fast. This time as I climbed up the hill I noticed a bunch of gravel on one of the corners, but I could push uphill through it fine so I thought it was no big deal. I was never more wrong in my life. I'm get to the top and start bombing down, turning and carving a little but not doing much to slow down. Then I realize I'm going a lot faster than the last time I bombed it. I get to the corner with the gravel and realize I'm fucked. I try running it out instead of dragging my foot for some reason. Get about two steps and I'm sliding on my left side, shoulder, palms, and knees bloody as hell. Slid for a good ten feet, ripped a brand new shirt to shreds, and tore through my jeans into my knee. Remember this hill is over a mile from my house, so I have to skate home, bleeding everywhere. It's also slightly uphill on the way back so it takes a long time.
Once I get close to home I pass a teacher one the path and wave, my hand super bloody. I get home and my dad gives me some gauze bandages. It takes about two weeks for most of my wounds to heal. My knee was stiff for about 4 weeks just because the scar tissue was on the joint. I still have visible scars on my hands. My shoulder has two round scars that stick out about a quarter of an inch still. It's been over two and a half years time.
Haven't been back to that hill with a skateboard since.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

yeah man, hills leave lasting marks. At least you weren't on your way somewhere. Its odd to explain to people why your clothes are shredded and you are bleeding.

[The Poster Formerly Known As Crass]

Ate 10 mustard packets for money. I could taste and smell mustard for 2 days.

Turn down girls that liked me because I was young and stupid.

Didn't stop at a stop sign because I was day dreaming and that intersection just had to have a car (unlike the 3 others before). Now my insurance is high and has hardly gone down.