Whackest first aid you've ever administered to yourself.

[Thrillho]

#1 I was skating to class a few weeks back.  Hit that proverbial pebble and went flying.  My math book was one of those kind that you have to get your own binder for; doesn't come with a spine to maximize financial sodomy.  Papers went flying everywhere.  Still haven't bothered to put the thing back together in order.  Anyway, round everything up, keep on trucking to class.  Sit down, after a few minutes the girl next to me is like "What happened to your arm?" I look over and there's a good bit of skin missing off my elbow-ish area, and it's bleeding everywhere.  So I start ripping out sheets of notebook paper and holding them against it.  By the end of this 3 hour class I've got a couple wads sitting on the table and the scab is about 4 times the size of what it should be.  All entangled in the hair and flaking off.

#2 I was skating this little 4 set waiting to see Beerfest way back, and there was a crack at the bottom.  Landed in the crack, stumbled forward, ran the back of my head into a metal pole.  Immediately started bleeding everywhere.  Wouldn't stop.  I go into the theater, ask the people for some napkins, and go to my seat.  I keep the napkin stack up between the seat and my head for the whole movie.  When it was over, I pull it off and try to pick out all the little bits.  There's blood all over the head part of the seat and the back of my shirt.  It scabbed over for the most part though.

[Jive Turkey]

Hit that proverbial pebble and went flying.

What was the "proverbial pebble"? Or were you flung from your axe by some unseen force, hand of God type thing?

The rest of your story sucks, but this I'm kind of interested in.

[Thrillho]

Hit that proverbial pebble and went flying.

What was the "proverbial pebble"? Or were you flung from your axe by some unseen force, hand of God type thing?

The rest of your story sucks, but this I'm kind of interested in.

http://youtu.be/M0KbEBgkVz0 ?

[RockForLight]

A few days ago I noticed a bump on my scrotum whilst showering and I tried to pop it and it started bleeding. Figuring it was a pimple that hadn't fully ripened I decided to leave it alone for a day. Upon second examination I noticed it had a string-like extrusion. I pulled on the fiber and blood spurted out of my sack along with a foul-smelling jelly. I ate the jelly.Faggot.

[Thrillho]

A few days ago I noticed a bump on my scrotum whilst showering and I tried to pop it and it started bleeding. Figuring it was a pimple that hadn't fully ripened I decided to leave it alone for a day. Upon second examination I noticed it had a string-like extrusion. I pulled on the fiber and blood spurted out of my sack along with a foul-smelling jelly. I ate the jelly.Faggot.

Should have put it in a jar and marketed it.  Skaters love core companies.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

Pretty consistent pain first aid- whiskey and weed.
I've ruined more shirts than I can count soaking up blood in them.
One time a friend of mine got a medium sized rock embedded into his hand. This was no grain of sand and it was deep as fuck. He was bleeding a lot. He didn't have insurance so we went at it cowboy style. Went back to the house, started blasting slayer, he took 3 bong hits and grabbed a bottle of jack and started drinking it straight from the bottle as I poured hydrogen peroxide in it and tried to pull it out with a pair of plyers. After digging through his hand for half an hour, one of the grossest things I've ever done, he couldn't take the pain anymore, so we went to the hospital and he ate the huge ass bill.
I've definitely found weird things on my body and tried to rip them off, often times it works, sometimes its worse. Never had the ball thing though. What did it turn out to be?

[Beer Keg Peg Leg]

sounds like an infected ingrown hair

[LOU.502]

This wasn't me, but my dad is a surgeon and one time when I was younger, a group of a few families went on a huge house boat trip. My dad was climbing out of the water onto our old ski boat and cut the living FUCK out of his leg on the propeller. Like, sliced that shit open down to the bone and this really wide gash ran like 10 inches up his leg. He sat there on the side of the boat and drank beer while he basically sowed his own leg closed. It was pretty cool. I dunno.
 

[layzieyez]

The first time I sprained my right ankle was skating a launch ramp in 1987.  I was wearing some converse cons and since they were high tops, I asked my buddy for the ice in his soda-free big gulp cup packed some into my shoe and laced it extra tight.

Then, I took a few more runs at the launch ramp before skating home.

_____________________________________________

I dislocated my left elbow skating an 8' long 6" diameter steel pipe sitting on two cinder blocks in 1997.

When I fell back and realized my arm was immobilized, I reached over with my right hand and felt around my elbow and realized something was really wrong.

So, I grabbed my left wrist and yanked the shit as hard as I could.  It popped back into place.

I was also wearing a hoodie, so I slowly got the thing off and started fashioning it into a makeshift sling by tying the sleeves together and using the torso area to cradle my arm.

The other skaters that were skating nearby finally realized I was hurt and helped me tie the knot on my ghetto sling.

I drove home to my apartment (my car was stick mind you) where my girlfriend at the time asked me what the fuck was wrong with me.  I shouldn't have listened to her because she made me go to the ER to get an x-ray which told me I had popped it in correctly for the price of $450.

[DaSk8D00D]

Duct tape & paper towels after slicing my shin open ona rail. Also a small plastic bag wrapped around my hand to cover scraped up palms

[JD]

Iv never tired this, but i heard that sugar was good for cuts

[Josh McLaughlin]

This wasn't me, but my dad is a surgeon and one time when I was younger, a group of a few families went on a huge house boat trip. My dad was climbing out of the water onto our old ski boat and cut the living FUCK out of his leg on the propeller. Like, sliced that shit open down to the bone and this really wide gash ran like 10 inches up his leg. He sat there on the side of the boat and drank beer while he basically sowed his own leg closed. It was pretty cool. I dunno.

hahahahaha badass

[Big Skatefase]

A few days ago I noticed a bump on my scrotum whilst showering and I tried to pop it and it started bleeding. Figuring it was a pimple that hadn't fully ripened I decided to leave it alone for a day. Upon second examination I noticed it had a string-like extrusion. I pulled on the fiber and blood spurted out of my sack along with a foul-smelling jelly. I ate the jelly.Faggot.

lmfao

[victor333]

A few days ago I noticed a bump on my scrotum whilst showering and I tried to pop it and it started bleeding. Figuring it was a pimple that hadn't fully ripened I decided to leave it alone for a day. Upon second examination I noticed it had a string-like extrusion. I pulled on the fiber and blood spurted out of my sack along with a foul-smelling jelly. I ate the jelly.Faggot.

lmfao

[BURRRPRINT]

Pouring beer on a wound is pretty whacky

[johnnymousedoom]

one time i got emotionally wounded so i did heroin, it was okay

[doomstation55]

usually i get emotionally wounded so i do heroin, its okay

thats how it is for me at least...

[skate_bored]

ive done some seriously stupid shit that always just makes it worse. back when i first started skating around 13 i was always getting ingrown nails on the inner side of my big toes. i would spend hours cutting and digging trying to get them out, and basically would end up with infected toes and couldnt walk for a few days without looking silly. luckily they have healed up and its not a problem now.

a few years ago i smashed my right big toe very bad landing down a set of stairs with one foot under a wheel and the other foot stomping the trick. the nail immediately turned black and my toe was swollen as shit. i went home and heated up a sharp knife on the stove and attempted to burn a small hole in the nail to relieve the blood pressure. this didnt work and i burned the shit out of my toe. when i went to the doctor a few days later they used an actual drill to poke a hole in there and blood shot out like two feet, it felt amazing and looked rad. my toe was also broken as fuck and never healed.

[foureyedjim]

damn, I never got any bad flesh wounds from skating like you guys haha

I think the worst was when I thought I only slightly twisted my ankle, so high school freshman me thought it was a good idea to just duct tape my ankle for support.  Ended up trying to skate for another hour only to find that my ankle felt even shittier.  Turns out it was a torn ligament.  Worst pain I've ever felt haha

[vagabond]

With all the stories this article here http://bennys.tv/en/skateboard-doctor-injuries-tips/90-rice-first-aid comes to mind.... might help... a bit

[sleepypancakes]

ive done some seriously stupid shit that always just makes it worse. back when i first started skating around 13 i was always getting ingrown nails on the inner side of my big toes. i would spend hours cutting and digging trying to get them out, and basically would end up with infected toes and couldnt walk for a few days without looking silly. luckily they have healed up and its not a problem now.

a few years ago i smashed my right big toe very bad landing down a set of stairs with one foot under a wheel and the other foot stomping the trick. the nail immediately turned black and my toe was swollen as shit. i went home and heated up a sharp knife on the stove and attempted to burn a small hole in the nail to relieve the blood pressure. this didnt work and i burned the shit out of my toe. when i went to the doctor a few days later they used an actual drill to poke a hole in there and blood shot out like two feet, it felt amazing and looked rad. my toe was also broken as fuck and never healed.

I've had that procedure done to my left thumb when I was building shelving in high school using a hammer with no waffling on the head and the nail didn't have any either. slipped off and smashed it. it is the weirdest combination of pain and relief when they pop into it.

as far as skating goes, i split the shit out of my left forearm on some coping when i slipped out on wet transition, used my t shirt to make a weird bandage like thing, ended up getting infected from a nasty dirty dinosaur jr t shirt i had been slamming in all day.

[Lumpy Oatmeal]

got blue balls and the only thing i could find to beat off to was a sears catalog

[GarglesCmen]

The first time I fucked up both of my knees, I called my homie to come up with some water and paper towels for all the blood. He came with the smallest ass glass of water and like 3 paper towels. I tried to skate after that and I instantly feel from pain, my ankles hurt for a week and my range of motion is still fucked up.

[Red]

Dude at the local park when i was growing up split his sack open on the handrail, there was blood seaping through his jeans
he just ran to his car and drove himself to hospital.

[apad88]

Iv never tired this, but i heard that sugar was good for cuts

salt's better.

[steve]

Pouring beer on a wound is pretty whacky

i was skating a cinder block ledge that had angle iron sticking off the far end by about one inch. Went to do a lipslide, stuck it, and decided to do it again. We had been smoking blunts and drinking whisky throughout the day. hah, so 2nd try my sled got stuck dead center of the ledge. as i fell forward my left shin met the protruding angle iron and took a chunk of flesh. I felt it hit bone. We were skating a gnarly, contaminated paint factory foundation and I didn't want it to get to nasty so i broke out the bottle of Wild Turkey 101 and poured into the hole. I've got a pretty cool scar, it's not that big, but is a nice dent.

[ScreamingHand]

i partook in bme pain olympics

[Cervix Couch]

I did a pop shuv it off a curb and landed in a thin layer of sand i didn't see. I slipped out, and fell. I started laughing cause it was so fuching stupid, then tried to get up but was in extreme pain and couldn't stand up. It was at some community center, so the groundskeeper of the place happened to have crutches and i crutched back home. I couldn't walk on my own for 3 days. pulled my groin muscle really bad. dumb.

[TFUCKINA]

about a month ago, my friend had this longboarder grip, real rough, and he wanted to take it off his board, so i help him and tore off about a 3 inch chunk of my thumb, you could see some red meat, i did'nt have a band aid, so i put super glue on top of it, it was a bad idea.

[trannies and mannies]

Nothing too crazy, but i used to always duct tape the back of my feet because I would get some gnarly blisters, usually from wearing shoes too tight/small.