Whackest first aid you've ever administered to yourself.

[lurka lurka]

1. broke my wrist/hand a few years back a couple hours from home. tied it to a waterbottle with one of my sweaty socks. kept skating. fell on it again. ended up needing pins put in.

2. tore a tendon in my ankle at a demo. teammate ducked into the cvs next door and voila. frozen peas and 3 cans of beer icepack.

[happenstance]

Some of these stories are pretty gnarly.

Definitely have done the ingrown toenail self-surgery. That is some painful shit.

I had a broken toe and for about 2 months i would wrap my toe in foam tape, put cotton in between my toes and tape it to the toe next to it.

Every time I bust a hole in my hand I usually bite the skin flap off rather than finding little scissors.

[HATE!]

Split shin, solved with super glue.  It ended up healing pretty well too.

[waltercronkite]

sometimes i rub dirt in it. Just the other day i found myself walking it off

[waltercronkite]

This wasn't me, but my dad is a surgeon and one time when I was younger, a group of a few families went on a huge house boat trip. My dad was climbing out of the water onto our old ski boat and cut the living FUCK out of his leg on the propeller. Like, sliced that shit open down to the bone and this really wide gash ran like 10 inches up his leg. He sat there on the side of the boat and drank beer while he basically sowed his own leg closed. It was pretty cool. I dunno.
 

Mom!!! Lou grew up rich and its not fair!

[choke mayne]

fell face first into a rail and got a small but deep cut on my jaw. shoulda gotten stitches cuz the shitty bandaids i used gave me a scar that looks like a big pimple

[Inanimate Object]

I work in a lab and we use liquid nitrogen. One time when no one else was around I used it to burn off some warts I had on my hand. Is that sufficiently whack?

[GarglesCmen]

I work in a lab and we use liquid nitrogen. One time when no one else was around I used it to burn off some warts I had on my hand. Is that sufficiently whack?

yes

[Dontkickshitfoot]

sometimes i rub dirt in it. Just the other day i found myself walking it off

g.i. jose	Small | Large

[krookedjuice]

about a year ago we were skating a park and i went down and cut my hand to the point where it looked almost like a chunk was hanging off of it. i poured hand sanitizer on it and tried using stickers to keep some paper towels down. the blood soaked through and was annoying so i lit my lighter for a bit and then pressed the metal part to my hand. it worked well and healed up pretty perfect.

[chockfullofthat]

I got herpes so I put some leeches on my dick and they sucked the herpes right outta my dick.  My dick got all small and purple tho cause it lost so much  blood so when I went to burn off the leeches I accidently burned a lot of my dick off because I thought it was a leech.  Was a major bummer.  Girls are always scared of it.  It looks like chewed up bubble gum with a cherry stuck to it.

[HATE!]

I got herpes so I put some leeches on my dick and they sucked the herpes right outta my dick.  My dick got all small and purple tho cause it lost so much  blood so when I went to burn off the leeches I accidently burned a lot of my dick off because I thought it was a leech.  Was a major bummer.  Girls are always scared of it.  It looks like chewed up bubble gum with a cherry stuck to it.

I read this and then I stared at the wall for a good solid minute and felt sad.

[svilleantigo]

Every time I bust a hole in my hand I usually bite the skin flap off rather than finding little scissors.

yeaman. better to do that/douse it with water than wait till later, in my opinion. i had to do it with half the tip of my thumb a few months back, and it was probably a bit much.. tasted much saltier than normal.

[Hannity]

no specific stories but i remember plenty of times taking the bus to a spot and fucking myself up there, then taking the bus back home holding some napkins to my elbow or gimping out. ya'll are cray with the amateur surgery shit. reminder to self: start bringing a flask of whiskey to seshs.

[finknoos]

As is common practice apparently, number one is whisky and spliff always!!

Then ive only done basic shit like:

Broke my thumb trying some stupid 360 indy when i was about 12, took off my shirt wrapped it round my hand and carried on skating. never went to a doctor about it so now it acts like its double jointed where it didnt before and makes a clickidy noise.

Broke my ankle then carried on skating (didnt feel broken) 10 minutes later... FUCK DEFINITELY BROKEN. walked a mile or so to where my friends were chilling. sat there blazing the green while they were taking photos for an hour or so before finally going hospital.

cycled into the back of a parked car once and broke my nose, tried to fix it like in films by clicking it back into place. didnt work just broke it so it slants right rather than left, also never got it fixed.

Thats about it seeing as my normal procedure for injuries is leave it till it goes away which surprisingly does work most of the time.

[chockfullofthat]

As is common practice apparently, number one is whisky and spliff always!!

Then ive only done basic shit like:

Broke my thumb trying some stupid 360 indy when i was about 12, took off my shirt wrapped it round my hand and carried on skating. never went to a doctor about it so now it acts like its double jointed where it didnt before and makes a clickidy noise.

Broke my ankle then carried on skating (didnt feel broken) 10 minutes later... FUCK DEFINITELY BROKEN. walked a mile or so to where my friends were chilling. sat there blazing the green while they were taking photos for an hour or so before finally going hospital.

cycled into the back of a parked car once and broke my nose, tried to fix it like in films by clicking it back into place. didnt work just broke it so it slants right rather than left, also never got it fixed.

Thats about it seeing as my normal procedure for injuries is leave it till it goes away which surprisingly does work most of the time.

Don't you get free healthcare in the UK?

[finknoos]

As is common practice apparently, number one is whisky and spliff always!!

Then ive only done basic shit like:

Broke my thumb trying some stupid 360 indy when i was about 12, took off my shirt wrapped it round my hand and carried on skating. never went to a doctor about it so now it acts like its double jointed where it didnt before and makes a clickidy noise.

Broke my ankle then carried on skating (didnt feel broken) 10 minutes later... FUCK DEFINITELY BROKEN. walked a mile or so to where my friends were chilling. sat there blazing the green while they were taking photos for an hour or so before finally going hospital.

cycled into the back of a parked car once and broke my nose, tried to fix it like in films by clicking it back into place. didnt work just broke it so it slants right rather than left, also never got it fixed.

Thats about it seeing as my normal procedure for injuries is leave it till it goes away which surprisingly does work most of the time.

Don't you get free healthcare in the UK?

technically not free because we pay for it in taxes blah blah blah.

but yeah we do, the main reason i leave stuff is for two reasons...

1. you have to wait at least 3 hours before a nurse will even look at you or attempt to say your name, and then another 3 before anybody will actually do anything.
2. i have this theory where if you leave your body to fix itself it will get stronger. when i was a kid i was on all kinds of drugs for asthma and eczema which had some nasty side effects, so now i try to make my body as self-reliant as possible

[Da Jitterbug]

My friend tore his urethra when he was skating this out rail and when he was at the hospital the doctor asked him if he was wearing a helmet. and my friend said no and then the doctor just shook his head and gave him a lecture on how important it is to wear a helmet. the doctor was a fuckin kook

[floop]

This wasn't me, but my dad is a surgeon and one time when I was younger, a group of a few families went on a huge house boat trip. My dad was climbing out of the water onto our old ski boat and cut the living FUCK out of his leg on the propeller. Like, sliced that shit open down to the bone and this really wide gash ran like 10 inches up his leg. He sat there on the side of the boat and drank beer while he basically sowed his own leg closed. It was pretty cool. I dunno.
 

that's pretty bad ass.  even if was drinking a Zima it would still be pretty bad ass

[Red]

My friend tore his urethra when he was skating this out rail and when he was at the hospital the doctor asked him if he was wearing a helmet. and my friend said no and then the doctor just shook his head and gave him a lecture on how important it is to wear a helmet. the doctor was a fuckin kook

I guess a helmet would of saved his urethra.   

[3base]

I've done a myriad of stupid things like this, but the following incident sticks out. I was being towed behind a guy on a bike down a relatively mellow, yet long hill. I managed to get enough speed going that I kind of sling-shotted past him. He was in top gear so I must have going pretty quick, but thanks to the fact it was night time, I hadn't noticed how fast we were actually going, or the missing section of footpath rapidly approaching. Before I knew what was happening I'd hit the ground with my left hand between my shoulder and the concrete. The force literally knocked the top off my index finger. It was kind of hanging by the smallest bit of skin. I hadn't noticed until I walked into a shop that was nearby to use the light to see how fucked up I had just gotten. I asked the women behind the counter if she had something I could wrap it in and she gave me toilet paper and some tape. I wrapped it up, smoked some weed, and didn't look at it again until the next morning. I ended up cutting it off with a pair of scissors. You'd never know it now. My finger just looks a little stubbier than the rest.

[tortfeasor]

when i was 16 i cut my forearm open on one the base-blocks of a movable rail (had set it at angle and was trying to grind up it)
i should have gone to the doc- but i had the chance to smoke with my friends super hot older sister.  so trying to look tough i blazed with the chick getting blood everywhere and pretending i didnt care

10 years later still have the scar

[ttching!]

Wiped out trying to ride a wagon down our super steep dirt driveway when I was six or so.  Got a rock stuck in my hand.  Pulled it out and didn't tell anyone cause I didn't want to get in trouble with my mom.  Of course it got infected.  My teacher saw it and freaked out.  My parents had to take me to the hospital and I still got in trouble with my mom.  I learned all about first aid after that.  Now when I get hurt, I still try to hide it or I get in trouble with my girlfriend, and our 3 year old daughter.

[the tranny monster]

fell face first into a rail and got a small but deep cut on my jaw. shoulda gotten stitches cuz the shitty bandaids i used gave me a scar that looks like a big pimple

nah man I landed on my board super hard one time with one foot on one foot off the board hit me in the mouth and my tooth went through my lower lip making a hole they gave my stitches (it was actually one stitch) anyways with proper medical treatment I still have a shitty pimple scar

[pile]

i had an allergic reaction to the plastic that the retainer on the top of my mouth was made out of, and the roof of my mouth kinda just tried to grow over it. it smelt terrible, i was in constant terrible pain and i'm pretty sure it was some hybrid form of skin/plastic and i just ripped the fucker out. bled for a day straight pretty much and had to go get sewn up after i got over being too scared to tell my mom.