Relationship Advice

[ChildOfTheBurbs]

Hello slap pals,

So my girlfriend broke up with me. Basically, she's been stressed out because she's going through some serious issues concerning her health. We've been fighting a lot and told me that I haven't done anything to make her feel better about the situation she's in. She said that she's depressed and lost feelings for everything including me. So she decided to end it for those reasons because she couldn't handle it, saying that she cares about me and that she didn't want to put me through that.

However, she said she wants to be friends. Friends because she said we got along so well, but as a couple we just fought. I never talk to any of my exes because I just want to move on. But in this case, I don't want to abandon her while she's going through her health issues, otherwise I would never talk to her again.

Just wanted to see what some of you guys would do. Hopefully I explained the situation well enough. Thanks!

[kilgore.]

PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ChildOfTheBurbs]

PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

love hurts, bro.

[gutterhead.]

hormones are crazy, when she's over it she'll realize she never should've left the D in the first place

[kilgore.]

Twilight - Elliott Smith

[ChildOfTheBurbs]

Guess I should have mentioned her health issue. Found out that she has a cyst on her ovary and that she might have liver cancer. So do I suck it up and be her friend?

[brycickle]

Kill her. But make sure to rape her first.

[kilgore.]

fuck the cyst off of her, you fool!

[max power]

if she doesn't want you there then fuck her.

[ChronicBluntSlider]

Guess I should have mentioned her health issue. Found out that she has a cyst on her ovary and that she might have liver cancer. So do I suck it up and be her friend?

if she's depressed and had lost interest in everything, it may be the depression, not you. If you stick around she might rediscover her interest in you as long as her other usual interests when she feels better. Plus you would just be being a good dude if you did stick by her and helped her through it. Good luck.

[ChildofdaBurbs]

Guess I should have mentioned her health issue. Found out that she has a cyst on her ovary and that she might have liver cancer. So do I suck it up and be her friend?

if she's depressed and had lost interest in everything, it may be the depression, not you. If you stick around she might rediscover her interest in you as long as her other usual interests when she feels better. Plus you would just be being a good dude if you did stick by her and helped her through it. Good luck.

Thanks man. Finally someone here offers a normal opinion.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

Guess I should have mentioned her health issue. Found out that she has a cyst on her ovary and that she might have liver cancer. So do I suck it up and be her friend?

if she's depressed and had lost interest in everything, it may be the depression, not you. If you stick around she might rediscover her interest in you as long as her other usual interests when she feels better. Plus you would just be being a good dude if you did stick by her and helped her through it. Good luck.

bull fucking shit. If she was really dumping him because she was withdrawing from her personal connections she wouldn't want to still be friends.
childoftheburbs, you just like his "advice" because it puts none of the blame on you for the break up and makes it seem like you still have a chance.
She's over you dude, deal with it. Its not the depression clouding her true feelings, its the fact that your relationship fucking stresses her out and she's over it and wants to move on. There's a good fucking chance she thinks she's depressed because of the relationship and that cutting you out will make her feel better. Hell, it might. Deal with it.
In the end, she probably doesn't want to be the bad person, so she claims you'd be a great friend, that's a way of saying I don't hate you or want you to hate me but I don't want the bullshit that comes with our relationship*.
Don't be that fucking lame ass ex-boy friend that claims he's just a friend, but everybody knows secretly is waiting for her to come back to him. If you want to be her friend, be her friend because you want to, if you want to fuck her still, don't be her friend, because its not going to lead you back to fucking her. If you still are into her, you can't be friends. Its that simple. Its possible to be friends with a girl you want to fuck but haven't, but once you've fucked a girl a bunch, and you still want to fuck her, friendships don't work. Obviously you are still torn up about her, because a sane and rational person wouldn't come onto slap to ask for fucking girlfriend advice if he was ready to move on to the friendship stage.

Its okay to say "I don't hate you, but I need some time to process this shit, and then maybe we can talk." Don't try to force a friendship with a girl you are still coping with losing, you'll get needy, angry, and depressed when you are around her. Its not a good look. In terms of being with her through this shit- Are you a fucking doctor? Did you diagnose her condition? Are you scheduled to operate on her? Is she coming to weekly therapy sessions with you as her psychologist? No? Then she doesn't need you around. The last thing you want while going through some sort of crisis is some lingering ass ex.

Also, stop pretending like the fucking enabler moron who tells you "dude, be her friend, when a girl tells you she is depressed and dumps you, that means she wants you around more so she can remember how totally in love with you she is" is giving you any sound advice, let alone the only sound advice.
What I just explained was already said in one sentence:

if she doesn't want you there then fuck her.

Boom, there it is. She doesn't want you there, so move on. The bullshit idea that the girl who just dumped you needs you around more is delusional. I use that word figuratively on here a lot, but this time I mean it literally, you are deluding yourself into thinking your inability to let go is actually your noble inability to leave her. You aren't leaving her, her ass left you.

[ChronicBluntSlider]

Guess I should have mentioned her health issue. Found out that she has a cyst on her ovary and that she might have liver cancer. So do I suck it up and be her friend?

if she's depressed and had lost interest in everything, it may be the depression, not you. If you stick around she might rediscover her interest in you as long as her other usual interests when she feels better. Plus you would just be being a good dude if you did stick by her and helped her through it. Good luck.

bull fucking shit. If she was really dumping him because she was withdrawing from her personal connections she wouldn't want to still be friends.
childoftheburbs, you just like his "advice" because it puts none of the blame on you for the break up and makes it seem like you still have a chance.
She's over you dude, deal with it. Its not the depression clouding her true feelings, its the fact that your relationship fucking stresses her out and she's over it and wants to move on. There's a good fucking chance she thinks she's depressed because of the relationship and that cutting you out will make her feel better. Hell, it might. Deal with it.
In the end, she probably doesn't want to be the bad person, so she claims you'd be a great friend, that's a way of saying I don't hate you or want you to hate me but I don't want the bullshit that comes with our relationship*.
Don't be that fucking lame ass ex-boy friend that claims he's just a friend, but everybody knows secretly is waiting for her to come back to him. If you want to be her friend, be her friend because you want to, if you want to fuck her still, don't be her friend, because its not going to lead you back to fucking her. If you still are into her, you can't be friends. Its that simple. Its possible to be friends with a girl you want to fuck but haven't, but once you've fucked a girl a bunch, and you still want to fuck her, friendships don't work. Obviously you are still torn up about her, because a sane and rational person wouldn't come onto slap to ask for fucking girlfriend advice if he was ready to move on to the friendship stage.

Its okay to say "I don't hate you, but I need some time to process this shit, and then maybe we can talk." Don't try to force a friendship with a girl you are still coping with losing, you'll get needy, angry, and depressed when you are around her. Its not a good look. In terms of being with her through this shit- Are you a fucking doctor? Did you diagnose her condition? Are you scheduled to operate on her? Is she coming to weekly therapy sessions with you as her psychologist? No? Then she doesn't need you around. The last thing you want while going through some sort of crisis is some lingering ass ex.

Also, stop pretending like the fucking enabler moron who tells you "dude, be her friend, when a girl tells you she is depressed and dumps you, that means she wants you around more so she can remember how totally in love with you she is" is giving you any sound advice, let alone the only sound advice.
What I just explained was already said in one sentence:

if she doesn't want you there then fuck her.

Boom, there it is. She doesn't want you there, so move on. The bullshit idea that the girl who just dumped you needs you around more is delusional. I use that word figuratively on here a lot, but this time I mean it literally, you are deluding yourself into thinking your inability to let go is actually your noble inability to leave her. You aren't leaving her, her ass left you.

So much bitterness towards women on Slap. If he still wants to fuck her he shouldn't remain in the life of a person who seems to care about when she is gravely ill? And really, you can't be friends with an ex, and fuck new chicks? Can't walk and chew gum at the same time? You need to stop projecting all of your personal flaws upon others when giving advice.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

What? No. If you are fucking a new chick, by all means, be friends with your ex. You misread what I wrote. I wrote that if you have already been in a sexual relationship with a woman, and still have those same sexual feelings for that same woman, you shouldn't try to be friends with her. I have no problems with people being friends with exes, as long as they are honest with themselves about what it is.
 If he is really still into her and are trying to be around her when she dumps him, at the  very least, he needs to acknowledge it is for himself and not her. If she really wanted him to be with her while she was going through this, she wouldn't dump him. To me, it sounds like she is doing the opposite, and trying to cut him loose so she can deal with this without dealing with the drama their relationship brings.
Nothing that I said showed any animosity towards women. In fact, I'm pretty sure I am taking her side against a desperate and clingy ex by saying that if she doesn't want a relationship with him, that he needs to give her space, especially if inside, he still really wants a relationship with her, because that's not what she wants.
The way I see it, you are leading this poor dude on. He needs to get his head straight, then figure out friendship shit. He can't be trying to be friends, while secretly hoping she will fall back in love with him while he's still coping with losing her.

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

Besides, you've never heard- "If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you it was meant to be, if it doesn't return it was never yours" or something like that? If she wants what he wants, then giving her space will help her realize that, and if she wants to come back she can. He's never going to get her back (if that's what he wants) by trapping her in a weird friendship that includes him secretly wanting to fuck her.

[nino brown]

i like how gipper ruined the thread by posting a shitload of pointless paragraphs nobody wants to read lol

[Ronald Wilson Reagan]

thank you nino brown.

[Citizen on Patron]

i like how gipper ruined the thread by posting a shitload of pointless paragraphs nobody wants to read lol

Actually I agree with the gipper on this one... If this thread is actually real, you need to think for yourself in what YOU want man, because it's the only thing that's sure. Obviously you have mixed emotions about what you're feeling for this girl. No matter what if you stick around and be this girls "friend" you are going to want her to come back to you. Most likely it will push her away even more because you will seem needy, angry and depressed like the gipper stated. This adds more pressure on her and makes her confused, angry and depressed so she just wont want to deal with it. You have to consider what's best for YOU, not her. She made a choice and you need to respect that.


I know it hurts like a son of a bitch but it's truely the best thing for YOU.

[ice nine]

Yea dude just stay by her side till she dies. Then u have a clear conscience and can get back to partying quicker, less guilt in your system. Jk asshole. If you really wanna help, maybe try curing her?

[Spike Hawke]

Kill her. But make sure to rape her after.

[Beeda Weeda]

stalk her for months, then fuck her and kill her, or visa versa

[Patey]

im with gip on this one.

cut your losses, bud. if she wanted you around she would have kept you around.

keep in touch and if she needs your help then be a gentleman about it, but dont fall for that "still be friends" shit.


good luck.

[Mouth]

If she broke up with you, then at least dictate the terms to your benefit. For a start, don't feel guilty about her medical issues and feel that you need to be there for her as a friend. Fuck that. She forfeited any rights she may have had when she ditched you. Simply tell her you need space to get your head straight and bone someone else. Preferably in front of her,like so.

[ChronicBluntSlider]

What? No. If you are fucking a new chick, by all means, be friends with your ex. You misread what I wrote. I wrote that if you have already been in a sexual relationship with a woman, and still have those same sexual feelings for that same woman, you shouldn't try to be friends with her. I have no problems with people being friends with exes, as long as they are honest with themselves about what it is.
 If he is really still into her and are trying to be around her when she dumps him, at the  very least, he needs to acknowledge it is for himself and not her. If she really wanted him to be with her while she was going through this, she wouldn't dump him. To me, it sounds like she is doing the opposite, and trying to cut him loose so she can deal with this without dealing with the drama their relationship brings.
Nothing that I said showed any animosity towards women. In fact, I'm pretty sure I am taking her side against a desperate and clingy ex by saying that if she doesn't want a relationship with him, that he needs to give her space, especially if inside, he still really wants a relationship with her, because that's not what she wants.
The way I see it, you are leading this poor dude on. He needs to get his head straight, then figure out friendship shit. He can't be trying to be friends, while secretly hoping she will fall back in love with him while he's still coping with losing her.

Clarified and understood. The bitterness towards women was more a comment towards the thread responses in general. Assuming that she does truly want to remain his friend, it seems rather childish/classless/insecure to stop talking to somebody going through such heavy shit because of blue balls, and perhaps this is a time when ego should be set aside. But you raise an alternative, also possible scenario, where she may not want the stress of a volatile relationship right now. I don't know, but I think when somebody is sick like this, it's just in poor taste to be glib as the other posters have been. Taking a complex situation and boiling down to a slogan usually doesn't do a service to anybody other than those who want to be misled. I respect you took the time to explain yourself.