real confessions

[BraveUlysses]

also, I lowkey fucks with Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend"

I was about to get on you about this but then I thought about how I be watching Keeping up with the Kardashians sometimes which is just as gay. I mean if it makes any difference I'm always on my iPod lurking slap and what not when I watch that shit so it's not like it has my full attention. Now it sounds like I'm in denial about liking that show. Fuck it I like Keeping up with the Kardashians, I've probably seen like 93% of the episodes and I'm about to watch the new episode that comes on in like 10 minutes.

don't have no shame in yr game, man. i watch it on the regular too and you best believe i'm about to watch part 2 of the Dominican Republic vacay. Sunday is my Kardash Day and even Gawd knows it (sorry Jesus!)

Scott is pretty fuckin funny too. he has constant one-liner hammers.

Someone needs to tell the homie Bruce to take out them damn ear rings though. Nigga is like 50 with some ear rings on.

[trannies and mannies]

I don't have cable at my house anymore, but when I did I watched the Kardashian shows. Occasionally you would get some gems with Kim's ass.

[BraveUlysses]

I don't have cable at my house anymore, but when I did I watched the Kardashian shows. Occasionally you would get some gems with Kim's ass.

You missed that shit tonight son. Kim was shaking that shit in a bikini. It was mesmerizing.

[smokecrack]

I don't have cable at my house anymore, but when I did I watched the Kardashian shows. Occasionally you would get some gems with Kim's ass.

You missed that shit tonight son. Kim was shaking that shit in a bikini. It was mesmerizing.

trannies and mannies literally missed the best Kim ass moment ever on the show.

she was clappin it in the water like a champ. it was glorious. phenomenal, even.

[oyolar]

What episode was it? I'll sit through an episode to see this.

[trannies and mannies]

link?

[BraveUlysses]

Not sure what the episode was called. All I know is that it's the newest episode and it's the part two episode of their Dominican Rebublic vacation.

[Unbridled Technical Precision]

hahahaha already sounds great.

[smokecrack]

the episode is called "Dominican Republic, Part 2". it's around the 30 minute mark or so. (she's in a bikini in other parts of the episode too though.)

there's a bunch of links here. just click on them a few times to get to the video player. the first few are already removed, but some of them should work.

http://www.sidereel.com/Keeping_Up_with_the_Kardashians/season-7/episode-7/search

(this site eventually puts up legal links to places like itunes or whatever, but you have to pay for those. just make sure you ignore any of the links with $ sings on them.)

[oyolar]

+1 buddy. Thank you so very much.

[Zurg]

im sure this can be gif'd without having to watch a whole episode?

[chockfullofthat]

im sure this can be gif'd without having to watch a whole episode?

[BraveUlysses]

Yes! Somebody please gif that shit. It could turn the shittiest threads into greatness

[Cadillac Ranch Dressing]

Was it this?

[GarglesCmen]

Was it this?

Yes. thank you.

[iKobrakai]

I knew we were fucked in the head but this is too much! Buttcracks on women is just as bad as on men, fucking turn off!

[Grand_Larsony]

I knew we were fucked in the head but this is too much! Buttcracks on women is just as bad as on men, fucking turn off!

.

If it were a gronk-ass 500 lbs bitch, yea okay, maybe that's gross.. but Kim Kardashian? Ca'monnn. I don't understand that.

[William Jefferson Clinton]

This girl that have been going out with for about a month is a compulsive liar. I like her alot but I dont think I can deal with that shit.

[dylandude]

C U N T S

Me and a bunch of my homies live in a house together. For a couple months this one dude bailed to Europe to skate. We needed to fill his zone with some $'s in order to make rent. So, we decided to temporarily lease his room out to these two chicks. They signed a lease but couldn't front the deposit but bought us a keg of PBR so we figured it was chill. After a few months of living with these chicks we collectively as bros decided they needed to bounce. There were many reasons, but the main complaint was that they were bammer chicks with bammer chick friends and they weren't really displaying the sort of chill vibe that was pretty established before they moved in. So, we respectively gave them a months notice, delivered march 1st and that was that.
 
On the 7th day of March while all the bros were vacant from the house. The chicks just up and left. Didn't clean the room, didn't leave a check just straight up bounced. No notice, no nothing. Leaving us bros to come up with a solid G to pay our land lord.

10 days later still haven't figured out how to pay the land lord, sorta stressin, totally bummed. We celebrated St. Patrick.

As is customary we got collectively wasted. Started drinking around noon (we were all drinking Guinness and didn't eat anything until about 5pm).

We go out to this bar to scope for chicks and low and behold we see the cunts that stiffed us. Everyone else is I guess level headed enough to keep cool/ are not as drunk as I am.  As soon as I see them it's over. I sit down at their table and literally say nothing. I just sit and stare at both of them trying to vibe them out of the bar. Five mins pass before one bitch yells "What the fuck!" at me. To which I silently reply with a strong finger pointed at the exit of the bar. "Fuck you" the other bitch says to me. "This ain't your bar." Which again warrants the aforementioned response by yours truly.

Five more mins pass. The bitches wrangle a dude who is roaming the bar collecting empty pint glasses. They point to me and say to him.
"He's bothering us." The waiter looks at me and looks at the girls.
I say,"I'm sitting here. I can't sit here?" Dinero in THE DEER HUNTER,  Pesci in GOODFELLAS, forget about it. The waiter says to the girls.
"This ain't my job" and bails. Now I'm smiling.

But they bail. And I am left alone and feel like I've wasted a huge opportunity. I kept feeling like I had lost to them again. That even though I'd forced them to leave the table they were sitting at that, that wasn't enough. They'd fucked me and my friends for money. MONEY. We could have built the illest mini ramp in the back yard with a solid G. Instead we were all scrambling trying to pick up extra shifts at our respective shitty restaurant jobs. Calling our parents, or our siblings, or our uncles and aunts. Any way to find a lil bit of extra money to cover up this horrible stain. And I just let them go. I didn't go off on em, I didn't "accidently" spill my drink which got all over them. Nothing. I just vibed em real hard. What the fuck?

I am still sitting at the table in the bar feeling the alcohol and this terrible sense of regret and impending doom surge throughout my system as I am still sitting at the table in the bar feeling these feelings. I finally get up to look for the rest of the bros but I can't find them and bail.

I start walking back toward my house as is protocol in these types of situations. When communication is lost return to base. Then I see one of the bitches cars. I see the license plate that reads I<3RAGS. A white jeep Cherokee that is hauntingly everywhere. I see a rock to the outside of my right foot. I don't see anything wrong with the following actions I take otherwise I don't think I would have taken them.

Hood up and crouched I force that fucking rock hard into the body of the white jeep Cherokee. I do two panels and peace.

I don't fucking regret it.


PS.
I know this has nothing to do with Kim's ass but that GIF above belongs in a different section of this message board.

Best,
dylandude.
       

 

[smokecrack]

^ great fucking story. i'm not really into revenge or anything, but those bitches had it coming.

that deserves a gnar.

(ps. don't tell us where to post our booties, guy. )

[dylandude]

sorry I'm a newb. I just just love that "one" section so much I was over come :p

[dask8d00d]

This girl that have been going out with for about a month is a compulsive liar. I like her alot but I dont think I can deal with that shit.

drop that chick ASAP. It's NEVER worth it as over time the lies usually get outta hand

[David]

You could start compulsively lying with her.

Let it become a competition of sorts.

[Beeda Weeda]

let her go mentally, and fuck with her, if shes lying, she cheating. 
kill her and fuck her,
fuck her and kill her.

[Mommy, Shane O'Neil stole the Butter]

let her go mentally, and fuck with her, if shes lying, she cheating. 
kill her and fuck her,
fuck her and kill her.

All the advice you need right there, game on

[PFIASB.]

i wish it was winter right now so i could snowboard

[happenstance]

^Heavy shit.

I am subletting at a friends house right now and my room is on the 3rd floor of a 3 story house. There is no bathroom on that floor. I got lazy and pissed in a bottle two nights ago. Yesterday, I wanted to get rid of it. There were a lot of people walking around the house so I threw it in my backpack thinking I would toss it on the way to work. The closest place I can park for free is half a mile from my job so there are plenty of trash cans. Yeah, I totally forgot. I was in the office all day with a rather large bottle of piss in my bag. It was beckoning to be revealed like the tell-tale heart but I got away clean.

[dask8d00d]

I feel like venting for sec as its hot as fuck at work an this lunch break bores me

As some of the Pals know, I've recently had to deal with a handful of unexpected deaths of loved ones within the past few months, and while at first it had me temporarily more emotionally reactive than usual, I've found that its actually been a spiritually enlightening experience for me.

Ever since i was lil kid I've always had a strong desire to be great. This is nothing new. However, I now feel as if I have the nessicary drive to accomplish such greatness. The deaths of family & friends have formed an urgency within myself to live every day with strong purpose and intent, as well as having a profound, positive impact on those around me as they did with their lives. It's like now I gotta represent not only them, but myself & anybody who hopes to one day live their life to its absolute highest potential. My entire life is now based on proving one single point: That ANYONE can do ANYTHING they can think of as long as they put forth the nessicary focus & effort to do so. See, people usually know how to do most of things they wish to accomplish yet they lack the self-discipline to fully, 100% do all of the required things in order to reach said goals. I've taken it upon myself to be a prime example of such a process in order o inspire others to do the same.

I've evolved many of my natural characteristics into something greater. My general curiosity into an insatiable thirst for knowledge. My strong competive drive into an intense perfectionism towards my craft. My arrogance into an unquestionable self-belief. At 18 years old, if I continue to develop myself at such a high rate, I'll be an unstoppable force before I even reach the legal drinking age. The sky is the limit.

Now I know many people often wonder why I am so open here. It's because I've chosen the SLAP community as one of the few groups of people to witness the genesis of the cultural icon I am to become. With skateboarding as my first love, it is only right that I give back in one way or another. Y'all get the exclusive, as skateboarders have always been amongst those I value the most within my peer group. Consider it as a gift from me to you.

Yours truly,

Will Easley aka DaSk8D00D aka 2012's most prolific & controversial poster on SLAP aka dat nigga you either love or love to hate.

/iPhone essay writing

[Bronson]

I never live in the moment. Its really problematic, since it also means I am never satisfied or at ease. If I dont escape into my thoughts or to some fantasy about the past or future I just get bored with whatever I am doing. Anyone out there that can relate? I am trying to practice mindfulness and meditation to fight this problem, all suggestions are more than welcome.

[dask8d00d]

I never live in the moment. Its really problematic, since it also means I am never satisfied or at ease. If I dont escape into my thoughts or to some fantasy about the past or future I just get bored with whatever I am doing. Anyone out there that can relate? I am trying to practice mindfulness and meditation to fight this problem, all suggestions are more than welcome.

I know exactly where you are coming from as I too once had the same problem.

When faced with boredome the mind naturally wonders towards anxieties of potienal future problems. To avoid this, we look for outside distractions to help pass the free time that we have. We then grow dependent on such distractions wether they be drugs & alcohol, novelty entertainments, killing time on the Internet, etc. however they distractions have a drug like effect...they wear off. We then constantly look more & more outside ourselves, eventually leading to an unsatisfactory way of life. The instant gratification of entertainment may be easier to take up, but leads us nowhere, constantly band-aiding a deeper problem within ourselves.

What you must do is find your niche and a purpose within yourself to be good at it. Something you are deeply passionate about wether it be a skill you would liketo learn, some form of art, or a long term goal. Then you must totally accept the fact that in order to gain a higher pleasure in life, you MUST ABSOLUTELY learn to endure hard practice & drudge work in order to master these things. You have to totally immerse yourself within your work. At first, doing so we be almost unbearably slow paced compared to your petty distractions, but not only are you learning this new skill, you are teaching yoursf self discipline that will last you a lifetime. Soon you will get better and start to notice your progress, motivating you to work even more. Your work then becomes more & more pleasurable as you grow more skilled and immerse yur mind into it. This is your new "distraction" except you are actually being productive and gaining the self discipline that will last you a lifetime. This in turn, leads you towards more long term happiness.


Excuse any typos in that shit as these walls of text become difficult to edit ona phone.