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Author Topic: Things You Are Not Stoked On  (Read 961132 times)
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Dr-Feelgood
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« Reply #18930 on: September 13, 2017, 05:20:02 PM »

Kid rock for president

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yhim4KRa8I Small | Large
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Doughboy
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« Reply #18931 on: September 13, 2017, 08:46:45 PM »

Thanks very much dudes for the replies. I'm just basically trying to maintain until I can start getting into counseling. This whole situation is messing me up pretty bad. Maybe I shouldn't have even posted about it, but I really don't know what else to do. My physician is on vacation for another week, it is not as easy or quick as I thought it would be to get into the counseling center, I call pet grief hotlines all day that usually go to a voicemail and I can't get a call back or no one even answers, and I think I am still in shock. Sorry if I come off as crazy, I feel that way right now. Also I never meant to sound as if anyone "owed" me anything for everything I did for my girlfriend. I understand how some of what I said sounded like that. I gave what I gave out of love. She gave a lot to our relationship also and I'm sorry if I didn't include all of those things, I figured I was already taking up too much of people's time with all my other ranting. I just tried to be thorough in explaining the situation, because the aftermath of it all is very tough for me to make any sense of. This woman was not just a serious girlfriend. She is 30 and I am 37. We were as close to being married as you can be without a piece of paper saying you are married. I'm not even gonna explain all that, or why we didn't already get married, that is a long story too.

Sorry if I wasted anyone's time. Or if I am a big crybaby. I think that to leave someone when they are in massive grief over a beloved pet that just died is well, basically sadistic. I never expected that from her. I wouldn't do anything like that to her or wish it upon anyone. It's not good feeling.

Thanks again guys. I'll try to keep strong.
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« Reply #18932 on: September 13, 2017, 09:26:20 PM »

Hey Doughboy, I'm sorry for the loss of your cat. I lost my cat buddy last year and it was rough.  

About the girl, people grieve in different ways, so she may have been hurting, but just not showing it. And another thing is that even though she loved that cat, some people don't get super emotional about pets dying. I know it seems weird, but it's not something to hold her over the coals for.  

Also, there were 2 quotes in your post, "Her job is good, but far from what she makes it out to be." and "She works 35 hours a week and commutes 2 minutes?" It seems like you don't respect what she does.  If it was that important to her she probably picked up on it too.

Hang in there though man, you'll get through it.



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« Reply #18933 on: September 13, 2017, 10:16:23 PM »

doughboy, 100% sucks that your cat died. The girl, if you did treat her that well, will realize what she let go of in time and if she has a good head on her shoulders will fully apologize to you.
If it was as out of the blue as you say I feel like there's something else going on behind the scenes there that you don't know about yet. As Dwarf pointed out too, people grieve in different ways so I wouldn't be too hard on her for how you perceived she was grieving.
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« Reply #18934 on: September 13, 2017, 10:20:18 PM »

i just found out my best friend who i have known for 20 years is back in jail for attempted murder. it's not really a surprise seeing as how he is gang affiliated, it more so has to do with the fact that this guy is the only person i know who still makes time to chill with me and has always been a true friend. i wish he got into skating instead of being an ese...
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« Reply #18935 on: September 13, 2017, 10:25:44 PM »

Hey Doughboy, I'm sorry for the loss of your cat. I lost my cat buddy last year and it was rough.  

About the girl, people grieve in different ways, so she may have been hurting, but just not showing it. And another thing is that even though she loved that cat, some people don't get super emotional about pets dying. I know it seems weird, but it's not something to hold her over the coals for.  

Also, there were 2 quotes in your post, "Her job is good, but far from what she makes it out to be." and "She works 35 hours a week and commutes 2 minutes?" It seems like you don't respect what she does.  If it was that important to her she probably picked up on it too.

Hang in there though man, you'll get through it.




Dude I'm super sorry about your cat. It's really really tough. No joke. I'm sorry for you man.

Yeah man I definitely kind of expected to see more emotion out of her about the loss. I probably did "hold her over the coals for it" more than I should have. At the same time I kind of felt she wasn't doing much to console me also. I was probably being selfish. I was blinded by my loss and I've told her for years that when the little dude goes, it's gonna mess me up for awhile... She could have just been staying busy with her work more and more to help herself with the loss as her way of dealing. I express what I feel quite often when I feel something and I'm very passionate about the things I love. I think she kind of represses her feelings much more than I do, so I'm pretty sure we were lacking some very important communication.

About her work, I do have a lot of respect for what she does. I'm not gonna get into what she does, but it helps others and is important. I've always helped with her resume and when she needed support when going through promotions. I've always been very proud of her accomplishments. The big difference about her and I is that I like to leave my job at my job to be happy to be home and enjoy my time with my loved ones, she tended to bring a little bit more about her work home with her and kind of always put it before us. I was usually ok with it, because if you're lucky to have a job you like, let it consume you. Don't let it ruin the time with your partner though... But yes, during our big verbal fight a lot of things got said that were not of the positive nature. Both by me and her. I think she took things a little too much to heart though and didn't see it for what it was. I was grieving, not sleeping well, force feeding myself, and saying things I didn't really mean. There was a lot of stuff going on all at once during this period and it was overwhelming for both of us. I am by no means an easy person to live/be with, but she was also fairly difficult at times. I loved it though, because for me I think that a relationship is taking the good with the bad. In 6 years I don't think we ever went to bed angry at each other and our little disagreements we'd have never affected the good times we had.

Those quotes of mine are actually pretty crappy of me and the words of a guy that's hurting and had probably been up restless for 24 hours when I started typing. But I was definitely being not the bigger person by saying those things.

Thank you very much for the reply, cause pretty much what you pointed out is exactly the things that have been replaying in my head a lot lately.

I'll try to stay positive. I just think had there been a little more healthy communication that our situation wouldn't have overheated like it did.



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Doughboy
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« Reply #18936 on: September 13, 2017, 10:37:25 PM »

doughboy, 100% sucks that your cat died. The girl, if you did treat her that well, will realize what she let go of in time and if she has a good head on her shoulders will fully apologize to you.
If it was as out of the blue as you say I feel like there's something else going on behind the scenes there that you don't know about yet. As Dwarf pointed out too, people grieve in different ways so I wouldn't be too hard on her for how you perceived she was grieving.
Thank you for the condolences man. I appreciate it deeply.

I just kind of long replied to Dwarf so I covered some stuff you also brought up in that post.

Yeah man it was out of the blue. I don't think she's with another dude or anything. It's a pretty small area and I don't think many dudes would want to be stepping on my toes around here. Not trying to be a tough guy, but my family and I have a lot of respect in the community, and everyone around knows her and I were very much together so I don't see anyone trying to cross that line with me. She may have been having her own breakdown and just hiding it a lot better than me, because like I said to Dwarf, she represses a lot of feelings and stuff. If she's having a breakdown, I just want her to be ok. It's just all messed up because I really tried to give her the space she wanted and we haven't been talking, so who knows.

Thanks again for the sorrows about my kitty, he was my dude.
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Doughboy
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« Reply #18937 on: September 13, 2017, 10:42:23 PM »

i just found out my best friend who i have known for 20 years is back in jail for attempted murder. it's not really a surprise seeing as how he is gang affiliated, it more so has to do with the fact that this guy is the only person i know who still makes time to chill with me and has always been a true friend. i wish he got into skating instead of being an ese...
Wow man. Sorry to hear about your friend. Shit got weird with a lot of my old friends when our skate crew from the 90's started to fizzle out in like early 2000's, and dudes I knew forever started going down some not so good paths. Sorry man.
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« Reply #18938 on: September 14, 2017, 08:49:16 AM »

Keep your chin up Doughboy. My condolences on the loss of your cat.
Next week on the 20th, it will be 9 years since one of our cats died. She was 11. I still carry a ton of guilt and self loathing over her death. I was a piece of shit alcoholic cokehead at the time. Completely selfish. Anyone could see this cat was not doing well. Really lethargic and having trouble breathing. I just kept putting off taking her to the vet. Until that morning when I woke up to the wife screaming that she was dead. It was the worst day of my life. Before and since then, I've had to deal with losing my dad, little brother and 2 good friends. But losing that cat was still the roughest. She was my child, and I let her die. If it was a human, I'd be in jail, rightfully so. At least you did all you could.
3 years ago, that cat's sister passed away. She was 17. It was sad of course. But not nearly as devastating. I did all the right things this time.
Regarding the girl, I wanted to say something similar to G.I.S.M. and Dwarf that you can't really judge someone on grief levels. It's not a contest. But for her to leave you at such a low point maybe just means that its not meant to be. You know the sayings. "when the going gets rough" "in sickness and in health". The people who are by your side at those points are the true friends and loved ones. When I'm at my lowest, my wife turns into a super woman and really takes care of me. We've been together just shy of 20 years now. And like you, no kids, the cats are our babies. If you're really meant to be with this girl, she'll come back. If not, there is someone better out there for you. At least you still have one cat to keep you company.
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Doughboy
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« Reply #18939 on: September 14, 2017, 09:30:18 PM »

Keep your chin up Doughboy. My condolences on the loss of your cat.
Next week on the 20th, it will be 9 years since one of our cats died. She was 11. I still carry a ton of guilt and self loathing over her death. I was a piece of shit alcoholic cokehead at the time. Completely selfish. Anyone could see this cat was not doing well. Really lethargic and having trouble breathing. I just kept putting off taking her to the vet. Until that morning when I woke up to the wife screaming that she was dead. It was the worst day of my life. Before and since then, I've had to deal with losing my dad, little brother and 2 good friends. But losing that cat was still the roughest. She was my child, and I let her die. If it was a human, I'd be in jail, rightfully so. At least you did all you could.
3 years ago, that cat's sister passed away. She was 17. It was sad of course. But not nearly as devastating. I did all the right things this time.
Regarding the girl, I wanted to say something similar to G.I.S.M. and Dwarf that you can't really judge someone on grief levels. It's not a contest. But for her to leave you at such a low point maybe just means that its not meant to be. You know the sayings. "when the going gets rough" "in sickness and in health". The people who are by your side at those points are the true friends and loved ones. When I'm at my lowest, my wife turns into a super woman and really takes care of me. We've been together just shy of 20 years now. And like you, no kids, the cats are our babies. If you're really meant to be with this girl, she'll come back. If not, there is someone better out there for you. At least you still have one cat to keep you company.
Thank you very much for the condolences. I deeply appreciate it.

Thank you so much for sharing all of that. I'm very sorry about the kitties you have lost. I would imagine writing some of the things you shared were tough for you to type out or maybe you're just super open, or just a good dude trying to give some words that may help another dude. Regardless, thank you very much. I too have lost family members and quite a few friends, but my cat is just the toughest thing ever for me. I raised him, I protected him, fed him, spent everyday for 16 years with him. I miss him so very much. He was super healthy and happy right before he got sick. He had a great check up in February and I really thought he had 2 more years. Once he got sick though in July, he got really bad really fast. So it is all still very shocking to me.

I definitely had my questions about how the girl was or wasn't feeling about the loss. A lot of what I probably wanted to express to her wasn't coming out of my mouth and brain as well as I would have liked, due to just the shock and crippling pain I was going through with the loss. When he got sick I pretty much just stopped everything else I was doing to be available full time for him and make sure he got all his medicines and foods when he needed them. Giving 6-8 syringes of oral medicine or food to an animal and having to spread it out every couple hours takes a lot of time and love. I would have done more if it would have helped. The cats are our kids, I'll do anything for them. There was some stuff going on with the girl during the time our dude was sick that kind of made me start to question her support and level of care. I think that is what led up to me kind of starting the grief contest after his passing. I'm not even going to get into it cause it's a very long story, even though Doughboy obviously likes typing long stories. Even if it fully explains things so that others can understand a bit better why I had the questions I had, so much has already happened that saying more won't change anything.

I would very very much like her to come back. I've gotten to a point that I am willing to look past her leaving when and like she did. I have an unconditional love for her and I'm willing to take the blame for anything I need to and change in anyway that would maybe help us to have the goodness back... The overall reality of the situation is that she is probably not coming back and just wasn't the person I thought she was. It sucks to say that, but as the days go on it's proving to be more true. It's a big world and I have a big heart and if she doesn't want that anymore, there has to be someone awesome out there that will.

I am hoping after some proper eating and sleeping I can get to skate again and get to the place that I want to be. I want to be a happy about my cat's life and the time we had instead of sad about his death and the time we don't have.

I'm gonna work my hardest to give the other kitty dude I have the life he deserves. One full of love, food, safety, toys, good times, and happiness.

Thank you very much for the words handsclapanin.

Thanks to all you dudes. I was struggling bad and still am. You have all made that struggle slightly less though. I am grateful.

« Last Edit: September 14, 2017, 09:42:42 PM by Doughboy » Logged
Gay Imp Sausage Metal
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« Reply #18940 on: September 14, 2017, 09:44:53 PM »

she'll come back, whether you're ready to take her back at that point is another story
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« Reply #18941 on: September 15, 2017, 06:26:42 AM »

Have no idea what part of London SodaJerk lives in, but hopefully him and all his people are safe.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/09/15/551166444/british-police-investigate-incident-at-london-subway-station
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svilleantigo
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« Reply #18942 on: September 17, 2017, 10:04:30 AM »

not too chuffed on this after a week

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Mongoloid
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« Reply #18943 on: September 17, 2017, 11:09:18 AM »

I keep saying I'm going to skate today, but I'm more than likely just gonna end up getting drunk and doing nothing.

I've skated maybe around 20 times this year total, and its a miracle I can even do half of the things I do.
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the snake
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« Reply #18944 on: September 17, 2017, 11:20:27 AM »

the less you go , the harder it gets to go
...and i'm not talking about my cock lol
« Last Edit: September 17, 2017, 11:23:00 AM by the snake » Logged
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« Reply #18945 on: September 17, 2017, 11:31:53 AM »

the less you go , the harder it gets to go
...and i'm not talking about my cock lol

I'm just stuck in an unmotivated phase at the moment, and its pretty lame.

I could actually be decent on the board if I put in real time. It's the same thing with practicing guitar or any other interest I have. I also have a fuck ton of cleaning that I'm procrastinating attending to.
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the snake
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« Reply #18946 on: September 17, 2017, 11:45:09 AM »

the less you go , the harder it gets to go
...and i'm not talking about my cock lol

I'm just stuck in an unmotivated phase at the moment, and its pretty lame.

I could actually be decent on the board if I put in real time. It's the same thing with practicing guitar or any other interest I have. I also have a fuck ton of cleaning that I'm procrastinating attending to.
i feel you, bro, but stop waisting time
you should do the sharktits programm, 100 push-ups every morning, good for the motivation
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Mongoloid
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« Reply #18947 on: September 17, 2017, 12:03:45 PM »

the less you go , the harder it gets to go
...and i'm not talking about my cock lol

I'm just stuck in an unmotivated phase at the moment, and its pretty lame.

I could actually be decent on the board if I put in real time. It's the same thing with practicing guitar or any other interest I have. I also have a fuck ton of cleaning that I'm procrastinating attending to.
i feel you, bro, but stop waisting time
you should do the sharktits programm, 100 push-ups every morning, good for the motivation


That's a good idea/point. Physical fitness does play a huge role in one's mental state. I should start a regimen of crunches and pushups.

I need to stop feeling overwhelmed by all the aspects of my life I have to improve, and just get on with it. 
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« Reply #18948 on: September 17, 2017, 04:16:17 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser
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« Reply #18949 on: September 17, 2017, 04:33:02 PM »

Do something nice for her tomorrow. I know a girl who broke up with her boyfriend because of the exact same situation. She's crazy, but still.
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« Reply #18950 on: September 17, 2017, 04:52:44 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser

How do you get laid while being such a huge fucking nerd? Yet I can never seem to get laid being the coolest person my mom ever knew.
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« Reply #18951 on: September 17, 2017, 05:01:25 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser

How do you get laid while being such a huge fucking nerd? Yet I can never seem to get laid being the coolest person my mom ever knew.

Have you seen Toby skate a box?
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« Reply #18952 on: September 17, 2017, 05:13:43 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser

How do you get laid while being such a huge fucking nerd? Yet I can never seem to get laid being the coolest person my mom ever knew.

Have you seen Toby skate a box?

Tobey makes my pants sticky in the front.
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« Reply #18953 on: September 17, 2017, 05:15:56 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser

If you apologize for anything you are a coward and a fool.
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« Reply #18954 on: September 17, 2017, 07:24:39 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser

I love you Tobey, but damn it, lie...
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« Reply #18955 on: September 17, 2017, 07:36:00 PM »

My girlfriend got mad at me today because she tried to make last minute plans with me and I said I wanted to play Nba 2k today instead of rushing to go meet her. I barely got to play it yesterday because I had to work and the game just came out Friday. It's Sunday, I don't want to do anything on these days except for worship the lord on the 2k cover. She's been basically giving me the cold shoulder all day through texts which is understandable. I mean I picked a video game over her but guess she knows now I'm a huge fucking video game nerd loser

I love you Tobey, but damn it, lie...

this and invite me over to play 2k dickhead
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« Reply #18956 on: September 18, 2017, 04:26:07 AM »

I didn't apologize for it but I didn't want to lie either. It's a fresh relationship, it's only been a little over two months. So I didn't  want her to think I was a liar. She cooled down later last night. She wanted to hang out because her roommates were throwing a day drinking party and she doesn't really drink.
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« Reply #18957 on: September 18, 2017, 08:48:16 AM »

Dudes in here thinking you need to drop everything in your life if your SO asks. Obviously the girl is gonna take it badly if you choose a video game over her, but c'mon now, it was short notice and he had plans, doesn't matter what they were.
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« Reply #18958 on: September 18, 2017, 08:51:26 AM »

gnar'd you, tobey, for having a girl while being a videogame nerd loser
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« Reply #18959 on: September 18, 2017, 12:22:03 PM »

Still banned.
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