Maybe they were role playing a role play.

I'm not sure if I've posted this before, I should have but I don't remember it so anyways, its not nearly as crazy as most shit in here, but I'm a lil suburban bitch who is sheltered as fuck.

I drive a delivery truck usually.sometimes I stop at the only rest stop on my run off the freeway.I eat my lunch or take a nap, its actually really nice, in the forest and everything.

 One time last year(I think) I pull in, and there's a small RV parked on the side, not in the stalls but on the side of the forest/edge of the pavement.an elderly man in the front seat is waving me over from the moment I pull in. I park and look over and he is still doing it. (There are other trucks and buses, other people walking/having a small picnic. I thought it was strange that he waited till I was there if he was in need of help, but I couldn't just ignore him so I walked over. As I am walking I see him scurry into the back of the rv. I stand outside for a second and he opens the sidedoor, and stands at the top of the stairs and says "come on in". Immediately became curiously horny, jk I asked "why would I do that?"He said "I want to suck your cock" in those exact words. I was shocked at his openness, and said no thanks and walked back to my truck. I still wanted to nap but had a 'hard' time falling asleep, and would keep looking over at the RV and if the guy was in the front seat, he was staring at me constantly.I also kept seeing a little wiry dude who looked like flea on crack(probably was him) pacing around the parking lot multiple times. I see rustling in the bushes and flea is there, peeking out at me. He saw me looking, and did the fist to mouth "I'm sucking cock" motion repeatedly at me. I shook my head no. He went back in the bushes. I decide I'm not gonna be able to sleep now and decide to leave. As I am the side door of the RV opens and the old original guy and a disgusting other obese old man, in what looked like a wife beater drenched in cooking oil and sweatpants get out. Creeped me out knowing that other dude was in there the whole time. I don't know what they had planned for me, but at least now I know where the gay casual hookup spot is.

Seriously, I would have left right there when he asked to suck your dick.

I know this isn't sexually related- but do you have any other gnarly delivery truck stories?  I used to work for a cable company and all sorts of wild shit happened.  Actually, I am going to add a story here later about when a dude told me about the swinger parties he had at his house.

my first night in college me and my roommate ended up hanging out with these girls. i had drank a little and my roommate hadnt at all, and both these girls were pretty wasted so i wasnt really trying to get it in. me and the two girls go out for a smoke and on the way back one of them sprints to our room. me and the other girl continued to walk up the stairs. When i get to the room the girl im with goes over by my roommate and i hear a noise coming from my room so i go check it out. the girl who sprinted up, jumped out from under my covers, and screams "would you fuck me, id fuck me" with the scariest devil face ive ever seen. i just kinda played it of and we watched 5 minutes of a tv before she passed out and i carried her back to her room

a couple months ago I was getting down with this chick I had known for years but never chilled with until she moved pretty close to where I live. First night I fucked her was probably the sickest. I think it was the 2nd or 3rd time we fucked that turned sour. the sex was awesome, fucking her from behind against her bed standing and everything, talking dirty, all that good shit. After I nut, I go to slip the rubber off and realize its all torn up. Right then and there I started to think about my life and that I'm gonna become a father now and instantly became sober but still kinda out of it because I had just blown a really mean nut. Worst part was I was 3 or 4 tall cans deep too so I was in heaven for like 15-20 minutes and then ended up with a bad situation. Luckily, she used to work at a free clinic so she had plan b on deck and took it asap. I cured my issues with half a Newport and then passed out.

Here's where it gets nasty....I'm texting with her like 4 days later. A couple hours go by between texts and I get one saying "OMG the nastiest thing just happened to me!". I thought maybe she found a spider or cockroach in her apartment or something but then she tells me "your condom just fell out of me". Since that day, I realized trying to wife that was futile and that I should just casually fuck her because not having a dependable nut, especially during winter, sucks. Last time we slept together was a couple days before Christmas and have only seen each other like 5 times strictly because we have a lot of mutual friends so its inevitable.

Also, as a sidenote, she had this weird fucking tendency that pissed me off. She would sometimes (especially when drunk which would happen after like 3 beers) use this stupid baby voice that was a huuuuuge turnoff. I told all my friends and they laughed about it but I simply just couldn't. I felt like I was laying next to a 10 yr old when she did that. bleeehhhhhh.


best thread ever btw!!

Recently I went home with this chick who was roommates with a chick from my old highschool. Didnt start out well. We get out of the cab, shes wasted as shit, im leaning over paying the cab driver and she yells "PIGGYBACK" and jumps on my back, mind you it was pouring rain, I lost my balance and both of us went down backwards into a wooden fence. The noise was ridiculous, the loudest hollow thud, pretty sure she was concussed but she was just laughing. Long story short she passed out in bed, I waited it out and got it done in the am, pretty haggard actually, had scrapes all over my elbow

I had my first experience with whiskey dick... so disappointing...

You didn't tell me. Hmph.

Happened again this weekend. Gonna go see a doctor just in case.

I didn't have a placebo nut, but I almost wish I did.

I got back home for Spring Break two weeks ago. I went straight to my girlfriend's place, and she gives me head pretty much right away, which was rad. Everything was going great until I'm about to nut, and it's just the weirdest sensation. Like, normally you can feel it kind of work its way up and out, but this time there were two "dry heaves" and then these three big solid globs came out, one after the other. The only way I can really describe them is "cum rocks." They were fairly hard, completely solid, and disturbingly large. My dick hurt for like a day afterwards, too. I looked it up online, and the most likely reason was that I was dehydrated. Now I really focus on staying hydrated, that shit was awful.

Coagulated Cum would be an awesome metal band name.



This happened last night. Broke in the new table then woke up to find this on it...haha.

I had sex for the first time a few weeks ago and lasted about a minute. maybe this should've gone in the real confessions thread. either way, it was awkward.

i had this issue when i was younger.  fuck with the TV on...works wonders