"When I have sex, I'm always thinking about the pavement so I can avoid premature ejaculation."

Modest Mouse - All Night Diner	Small | Large

First times are like that though. Don't worry about it.

Not all chicks that are good in the sack are crazy, but surely, almost ALL crazy ones are good in the bed. Kinda like all hatchbacks aren't station wagons....eh fuck it, you get the point.

My tolerance for crazy has actually grown wider throughout the years, so my advice to you, sir, is to blast through it until you're dealing with more drama than decent sex. Keep in mind though, I'm a complete idiot. Good luck on your future endeavors Steve.

if he is anything like me, i guess its a nice combination of dry spell + crazy available woman.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.... did I miss that story?!

My upstairs neighbors were fucking super loud again and there were two audible smashes- like breaking glass and they didn't even stop to laugh.  That's kinda awesome.

You're a good dude, steve.  Listen to your heart AND your brain.  And just stick to your guns.  I know that's easier said than done, especially if you're in a dry spell, but it's always worth it.

man after a 2 year relationship that felt like i was in jail and dating my mother, ive finally realized that the first sign of either is going to have me completely over it. right now ive got this younger girl (21 to my 25) who for the past few months has strictly only been to my room when we are wasted. she never bugs me, anytime we text its jokes and fun, and shes by far the best thing ive ever been in bed with. this already has me set on never getting stuck with a crazy again.

as for awkward, during fucking the other night i pulled out and was going to eat her out before defiling her some more and she queefed pretty close to my face. it was pretty awkward but we were wasted and laughed it off.

Maybe 6 months ago I went out with the girl I'm currently boning and her friends. A couple of them weren't big drinkers so they kept pawning their sugary creeper drinks off to me. Ended up getting blackout drunk and puking in the parking lot. Went home with the girl I came with and we boned anyway. It had to have been pretty rough/sloppy because at one point I pull out my dick and the rubber broke, (fortunately I didn't bust and she took the plan b pill the next day anyway.)
A couple days later I'm at her house again and at some point she's sitting on my face/I'm going down (up?) on her. Before I realize what the hell's going on I feel something in my mouth. I take it out and it's the tip of the rubber. I place it aside slightly grossed out, yet continue to smash.

Dude I was drugged at the bar one time and like 20 mins before I blacked out my ex just happened to show up. I was sitting with her cause I was all bummed and shit and then woke up in the hospital with my friend next to me all scared. The doctor asked me if anyone bought me drinks because I had rehiponole or what ever in my system. One bitch comes to mind... that fuckin slut.


Anyways I was at this chicks house one time with some people I didn't know. I drank like 10 shots of Jim Beam and drank around 4 or 5 beers and started making out with the chick who owned the house. We go to her room and start fucking with the lights off and after I busted I got up to go to the bathroom. I turned the light on and looked down at my dick and I was covered in blood. Right when I was looking down someone comes in through the other door cause it's a shared bathroom between the rooms and I just was just standing there with blood all over my dick and legs and stomach haha. The girl just kinda backed up and closed the door with out saying anything, so I washed my dick and shit and took a piss and got dressed. When I got back out to the living room where everybody was, the chick I fucked was sitting on the couch with a red face and as soon as she saw me she her eyes got real big and lip motioned "I'm sorry" haha. Everyone was like "Dude! Did you kill someone with your dick?!" It was pretty gnarly.

A few months ago, maybe a half year ago I was at home taking a massive dook. As I sat there unleashing the Salisbury Steak I had finished a few hours before I recieved a text from a fuck buddy saying "Wanna smoke a cig?" which was our code for "Let's smoke a cig then go fuck". So I wiped my ass pretty thoroughly and headed on over. We get done smoking and journey inside to her bedroom. We get to going and for the life of me I just can't cum. So in order to get me off she starts sucking my balls but then she moved on down to my asshole and started licking it, to her surprise there was a dingleberry left over and she got a tongue full. She promptly sprang up and shouted "What the fuck!" I responded with "I guess you eat pieces of shit". She then told me to get out and I didn't hear from her for about 3 months. It wasn't awkward so much for me as it was for her.

+1.

I took her out to dinner to make up for it. She's a trooper.

please stop

I had sex with this girl and then she flipped over and we started going at it doggy style. I look down and there's this piece of fuzz right at the top of her butthole. I giggled then wouldn't tell her why.

not really awkward just creepy. I had sex with this girl last night and drove back home. When I woke up this morning she was on my computer in my house. It's been a while since I've had a stalker so I was kind of flattered.