this is awesome! never had a stalker chick either but i'd be into it for the experience.

The day after the computer incident she was asleep on my couch when I woke up. Taking her stalker game to a new level. I think I'd rather fuck a ghost than a stalker. At least after the ghost's unfinished business is done it leaves. this bitch ain't ever gonna leave!

I could totally make it look like a suicide. That bitch is suicidal anyway. I'm the only black guy she knows though so the police will automatically come to my house.

Then there goes the rest of my sex life. She'd just pop through walls and scare the girl away! But then I guess I could manipulate her ghost into doing my dirty work. I think I'm going to have to kill her.

Tell her you want your asshole licked, but make sure you've got a nice dingleberry in there.

eat lots of mexican food, beans and stuff. make her toss your salad again. shart in her face. post story here.

the only sexual experience you've had is the one you are a product of. Zing!

The girl I'm seeing right now is way too loud in bed. She basically screams "fuck me" and stuff like that on top of her lungs every time. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but she has lots of neighbors. I feel awkward when I run into her neighbors. She doesn't think too much of it.

Some chicks love it when you get all aggressive/dominant and cover their mouth.

hahaha damn she was actually BLEEDING? goddamn that nigga bit into dem thighs like they was some chicken wangs!

This happened a few days ago to a homie and it simply trumps any stories of my own.

My friends apartment is that spot everyone goes to after they leave the bar at 4 am because there is always free booze and crazy happenings. It's on the second floor of a big house that has been converted into apartments. His cousin was in town from Florida and wound up scoring this mangy looking chick from the bar and getting her back to the house. They went straight from the front door right into the room he was crashing in to get down to business. About an hour and a half goes by and me and some people are out on the balcony (which is directly out the front door) when this girl comes lurking out. She was carrying her shoes like a scene from a bad party movie and she looked very surprised to see we were still up. But she bummed a cigarette off of me, joined the conversation and was being a pretty fucking cool chick. Turns out they fucked, he smoked her out, then he passed out and she was ready to dip. She says bye to everyone and starts to squeeze by to get downstairs. Now, the wood on the barrier for the balcony is just rotted to all hell and when this chick squeezes past me she leans on the balcony in the worst spot, it snaps, and she falls one story down to the fucking ground. We all snap back to reality and rush down to help her out. We call an ambulance and it turns out she broke her arm in three places, cracked two ribs, fucked her knee up and busted her face. We felt legitimately bad for this girl, until we found out that she tried to jet with the homies wallet and iphone. After she landed they just fell out of her purse and someone pointed out that she had two phones and a mans leather wallet. The ambulance hauled her away, we gave the paramedics her purse, minus some makeup that my friend's girl decided to keep, and walked upstairs and tried to wrap our head around the fact that this slag almost robbed this dude. Best part is the whole time this was going down he never woke up and still doesn't know he almost got robbed.

I'm about to lose my virginity in a few hours... I've been sucked up plenty, but it's been a while since I have had a sexual encounter. I'm expecting an awkward story. Any tips to make it maybe a little less awkward?

Get in a reverse 69 and fart right in her face, it will clear out the awkwardness.  Your smooth sailing from then on out.

Explain you're a virgin. Then proceed to ask how you're going to fit your balls in as well. When she tells you they don't go in there, ask her if she wants them in her ass instead. When she says no, eat out her belly button until she agrees.

When I read reverse 69 I thought about two people with their asses on the back of eachother's head.  That shit sounds stupid.