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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: ahlee on November 04, 2008, 05:39:05 AM

Title: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on November 04, 2008, 05:39:05 AM
I really REALLY miss him...

just look at all this win...

http://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&action=profile;u=9907;sa=showPosts
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: mr. otsu on November 04, 2008, 06:00:34 AM
I suspect he's you.


Vov Vurnquist for Mod.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: busey on November 04, 2008, 07:27:23 AM
how did this all begin? it's like walking into an amazing movie half way through and wondering what the fuck happened.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: SFblah on November 04, 2008, 07:54:25 AM
I prefer 'Bob Burnquist pulls a Jesse Jackson?'

https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=20328.0 (https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=20328.0)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on November 05, 2008, 01:52:23 PM
I suspect hes got a huge organic squash in his khakis.


Vov Vurnquist for Mod.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: oldeath on November 05, 2008, 02:12:15 PM
I suspect hes got a huge organic squash in his khakis.


Vov Vurnquist for Mod.
dont call it a comeback
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on November 05, 2008, 05:55:35 PM
there is hope for slap
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sebastian toombs on November 05, 2008, 06:04:23 PM
I prefer 'Bob Burnquist pulls a Jesse Jackson?'

https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=20328.0 (https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=20328.0)


belongs in "classic slap".   i miss gub and OG chris hansen too
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on November 05, 2008, 06:19:04 PM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on November 05, 2008, 06:23:03 PM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frig deuce on November 05, 2008, 06:32:45 PM
hahahahhahahahahaha

BREAK IT DOWN SON! ITS TIME FOR A SHOWDOWN!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: tanhoe on November 05, 2008, 06:53:54 PM
how did this all begin? it's like walking into an amazing movie half way through and wondering what the fuck happened.

lost... heh
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on November 06, 2008, 10:01:14 PM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
“What's up Doc”  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.


Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Lance on November 06, 2008, 10:10:20 PM
"Hansen droppin bombs like comi, next to flip a tech like a origomi, you cant stop me I'm a zombie"...Quimtime
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on November 07, 2008, 05:16:14 AM
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Doctor Handsome on November 07, 2008, 07:50:50 PM
(http://www.upcominghorrormovies.com/movies/evilbong3.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: crackrazor on November 07, 2008, 08:57:51 PM
Hahaha.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: defiantnate on November 07, 2008, 09:31:36 PM
Hahaha.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on November 08, 2008, 01:09:41 AM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
“What's up Doc”  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.




Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct   

Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: danker peaches on November 08, 2008, 01:46:30 AM
wow this is so good
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Universal Remonster on November 08, 2008, 01:48:14 AM
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frig deuce on November 08, 2008, 07:49:45 AM
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
OH! OH! OH! OH! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on November 08, 2008, 11:45:32 AM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
?What's up Doc?  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.




Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct  

Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.

Oh for fucks sake. I'm Chris Hansen.

When Hanz put bic to paper, he like W.B. Yeats
The second coming, on your wifeys face, to lessen the birth rate.
Vov be that greasy teen, face got more oil than Kuwait.
Bitch, I use that grease, roastin' your weenie at the tail gate.
I be the warden, bend you over, lil Hanz, all up in your prostate.

Droppin' his rhymes like organic soap in the shower
I be rainin' down bullets, oh shit, it's Whitman from the clock tower.
Spray down your corpse with my egg white, like you drinkin whiskey sour.
With Hanz on the tube, Dateline NBC, it's TVs finest hour
Bust in your crib, snatch the children away, and interrupt your golden shower

Draftin' kiddies from the minors like they was Kevin Garnette
Chris the pusher that makes your whole system nervous, like Barbituate
Vov aint ashamed to admit he likes 'em small and sketch, like a vignette
Fuck with Chris? That's the worst bet, full chamber, Russian Roulette

HIV?, pssh Chris got more immunity than Richard Hatch
Servin' your nuts on some Mcenroe shit, game, set, match.

Hanz life.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ALT on November 08, 2008, 11:55:17 AM
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Evil Kraken from the Arctic Sea on November 08, 2008, 01:05:03 PM
I'm more hyped than when I first watched Fully Flared. Can't wait for the show to continue....
Vovmaster Vurn, give him!
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: cliff on November 08, 2008, 01:12:19 PM
AMAZING!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frisco on November 08, 2008, 01:12:54 PM
love this thread, instant classic
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sweets on November 08, 2008, 01:21:27 PM
FTW!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: biggums mcgee on November 08, 2008, 01:49:49 PM
biggums gonna jump in this one to set the record straight
callin' out all you fat-cats, straight outta upstate
now, we all know the man behind the mask;
Vov, he's the one with the balls
Chris Hansen thinks he'll throw down a pressure drop like toot and the maytels

vurn, you think you own this shit?
hansen thinks he's got the money to burn

but don't sweat it, send me out west to go get it
bustin on you marks like i'm gregg, coming live like a muppets set
the REAL hansen is the one we gotta respect
jim, james, vurnquist taboo
he created roover, big bird and elmo too.

you guys think you own this shit, like will smith its just the two
not anymore, this is 2008. brazill, lansing you all better check yourselves straight!
this thread ain't quite a classic yet
we've still gotta see pontoon boat make his epic return to the 'net!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: danker peaches on November 08, 2008, 04:45:11 PM
I never thought i would see the day that Chris Hansen and bob burnquist rapped
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: biggums mcgee on November 08, 2008, 09:06:45 PM
hey, all in good fun man.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on November 08, 2008, 11:14:06 PM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
“What's up Doc”  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.




Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct   

Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.

Oh for fucks sake. I'm Chris Hansen.

When Hanz put bic to paper, he like W.B. Yeats
The second coming, on your wifeys face, to lessen the birth rate.
Vov be that greasy teen, face got more oil then Kuwait.
Bitch, I use that grease, roastin' your weenie at the tail gate.
I be the warden, bend you over, lil Hanz, all up in your prostate.

Droppin' his rhymes like organic soap in the shower
I be rainin' down bullets, oh shit, it's Whitman from the clock tower.
Spray down your corpse with my egg white, like you drinkin whiskey sour.
With Hanz on the tube, Dateline NBC, it's TVs finest hour
Bust in your crib, snatch the children away, and interrupt your golden shower

Draftin' kiddies from the minors like they was Kevin Garnette
Chris the pusher that makes your whole system nervous, like Barbituate
Vov aint ashamed to admit he likes 'em small and sketch, like a vignette
Fuck with Chris? That's the worst bet, full chamber, Russian Roulette

HIV?, pssh Chris got more immunity than Richard Hatch
Servin' your nuts on some Mcenroe shit, game, set, match.

Hanz life.

First of all, Hanz, you cant be writing this shit
Vov can spit a rhyme with his mouth on a tit
straight off the dome and out the tip of my dick
come all over this snitches face, gizm ropes extra thick

Christopher Hanz, youd best to watch lil mama
Vov creepin in your house, blown off GHB and marijuana
she beggin for the schlong, Vov got her sweatin like in the sauna
legs spread and grasping wood like she was doin Benihanas

before the Green King of Procreation wifey had never known anal penetration
that bitch turned Girls Gone Wild like she reside in College Station
gave booty hole a promotion and sent that coochie on vacation
Vov freed up her brown kids like the Emancipation Proclamation

 
Sincerely,
 Some Square Ass Business 


 


 
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: the ragamuffin on November 09, 2008, 12:15:14 AM
alcohol sure is the lubricant of love
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Lumpy Oatmeal on November 09, 2008, 12:37:01 AM
legs spread and grasping wood like she was doin Benihanas

you win
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Evil Kraken from the Arctic Sea on November 09, 2008, 01:43:28 AM
legs spread and grasping wood like she was doin Benihanas

you win
yep. definitely!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sweets on November 09, 2008, 02:16:38 AM
Let's give C-Hanz the chance to come back. This has been brewing for awhile and I'm not sure this can be settled with a just a few bars...
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: oldeath on November 09, 2008, 04:53:28 AM
legs spread and grasping wood like she was doin Benihanas

you win
hell yeah
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: SFblah on November 09, 2008, 07:31:17 AM
legs spread and grasping wood like she was doin Benihanas

you win
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on November 09, 2008, 01:39:16 PM
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
“What's up Doc”  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.




Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct   

Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.

Oh for fucks sake. I'm Chris Hansen.

When Hanz put bic to paper, he like W.B. Yeats
The second coming, on your wifeys face, to lessen the birth rate.
Vov be that greasy teen, face got more oil then Kuwait.
Bitch, I use that grease, roastin' your weenie at the tail gate.
I be the warden, bend you over, lil Hanz, all up in your prostate.

Droppin' his rhymes like organic soap in the shower
I be rainin' down bullets, oh shit, it's Whitman from the clock tower.
Spray down your corpse with my egg white, like you drinkin whiskey sour.
With Hanz on the tube, Dateline NBC, it's TVs finest hour
Bust in your crib, snatch the children away, and interrupt your golden shower

Draftin' kiddies from the minors like they was Kevin Garnette
Chris the pusher that makes your whole system nervous, like Barbituate
Vov aint ashamed to admit he likes 'em small and sketch, like a vignette
Fuck with Chris? That's the worst bet, full chamber, Russian Roulette

HIV?, pssh Chris got more immunity than Richard Hatch
Servin' your nuts on some Mcenroe shit, game, set, match.

Hanz life.

First of all, Hanz, you cant be writing this shit
Vov can spit a rhyme with his mouth on a tit
straight off the dome and out the tip of my dick
come all over this snitches face, gizm ropes extra thick

Christopher Hanz, youd best to watch lil mama
Vov creepin in your house, blown off GHB and marijuana
she beggin for the schlong, Vov got her sweatin like in the sauna
legs spread and grasping wood like she was doin Benihanas

before the Green King of Procreation wifey had never known anal penetration
that bitch turned Girls Gone Wild like she reside in College Station
gave booty hole a promotion and sent that coochie on vacation
Vov freed up her brown kids like the Emancipation Proclamation

 
Sincerely,
 Some Square Ass Business 


 


 



I'm not gonna lie, the last line was straight fucking fire. I respect you as a lyricist, Vov, it's your penchant for the anal abuse of minors that I just can't reconcile. But even Sting made up with Stewart Copeland, right? So there just might be hope for us yet. But for now...

When C. wage war, Vov turn to a pacifist.
Seat torture at Abu Ghraib, no choice but to acquiesce.
Bow down to Chris dick, or feel the force like hydraulic press.
Word spread fast, Vov locked up tight. Respect to the Pony Express.

C-Hanz break fools off like he munchin' a Kit-kat
Droppin' tools so fast, y'all need a hard hat.
When Chris  in your 'hood, best unroll the prayer mat.
It's like Kirby vs Goro, final round, Mortal Kombat.

Puttin' the 'laughter' back in slaughter is how C. does best
Vov like Cary Grant, getting hunted, North by Northwest.
Makes his way to the Pediatric Ward, oh shit, unwelcome guest
This calls for lobotomy of the frontal lobes, Vov done flew over the cuckoo's nest.

Knockin' on your door like a Jehovah's witness
caught in the act, 69 with a 9 year old, hardly “square business”
He's got pedophilia down to a science, just check the litmus
Look more like Kiddy-Sutra, can't chalk it up to physical fitness.

Fuckin' Vov take seats like he was Christopher Reeve
Straight bucked from Hanz's horse, now he absent without leave
Chris be the one who blow up like Jihad, downtown Tel Aviv.
Vov stuffing anal stockings with 12 inch coal, Christmas eve.


Dateline NBC business.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frisco on November 09, 2008, 01:51:48 PM
wow it keeps getting better, this should be stickied mods
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Zurg on November 09, 2008, 02:01:57 PM
ahh shit, burnin lips hansen
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frig deuce on November 09, 2008, 02:36:18 PM
VOV!! VOV!!! VOV!!! VOV!!! VOV!!


<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sweets on November 09, 2008, 03:44:49 PM
My screen is on fire.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ALT on November 09, 2008, 04:19:34 PM
LMAO
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: danker peaches on November 09, 2008, 05:23:34 PM
Chris Hansen wins
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sebastian toombs on November 09, 2008, 06:47:47 PM
My brain is on fire.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: artichoke on November 09, 2008, 06:57:02 PM
Vov, where's the footage of your escalator grind?
(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c255/ibrowning/bob.jpg?t=1226295420)

Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on November 09, 2008, 09:07:55 PM
Vov, where's the footage of the aftermath of this little "hang out"?
(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f9/matthewpoop/stridescover.jpg)

I'm Chris Hansen.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Edward Penishands on November 09, 2008, 09:12:10 PM
OH SHIT!!!! OH NO HE DI-DNT!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: mr. otsu on November 09, 2008, 09:43:49 PM

gave booty hole a promotion and sent that coochie on vacation
Vov freed up her brown kids like the Emancipation Proclamation

 



/thread

Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: tysj! on November 09, 2008, 09:54:45 PM

gave booty hole a promotion and sent that coochie on vacation
Vov freed up her brown kids like the Emancipation Proclamation

 



/thread



This cannot end. It just can't.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on November 09, 2008, 10:04:04 PM

gave booty hole a promotion and sent that coochie on vacation
Vov freed up her brown kids like the Emancipation Proclamation



(http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f9/matthewpoop/untitled-7.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: mr. otsu on November 09, 2008, 10:11:50 PM

gave booty hole a promotion and sent that coochie on vacation
Vov freed up her brown kids like the Emancipation Proclamation

 



/thread



This cannot end. It just can't.



VOV VURNQUIST IS ONLINE
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Evil Kraken from the Arctic Sea on November 09, 2008, 11:00:32 PM
VOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOVVOV VOV VOV
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on November 09, 2008, 11:45:18 PM
fuck all this news shit, im on some dosha and booze shit
beat the pussy of your wife til she rockin a blue clit
she never spit, and Chris, I cut that bitch no slack
she cradle the sack, and eat Twizzlers out my ass crack

cause Vov a big dick swanga. A banana cream slanga.
im with your kids reading Manga, and pullin twelve inch fangas
so excited they stompin feet like a Wu Tang banga
catch em up at 2 am leavin comments on my Xanga

walk into your kitchen, wifey ironing my chinos
vov in the living room squinted out like Filipinos
im the boss like Al Pacino, sick like Tarantino
look at a nigga wrong, its 911 like this was Reno









Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: baxty on November 10, 2008, 12:03:59 AM
my gun, where is it........
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 10, 2008, 10:26:58 AM
My flow was way better, why the fuck did you delete it? So you guys can pretend to be Homer Simpson? Fucking frat-boys.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on November 10, 2008, 01:25:56 PM
My flow was way better, why the fuck did you delete it? So you guys can pretend to be Homer Simpson? Fucking frat-boys.

Its funny that youre pissed about being not funny.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 10, 2008, 01:57:36 PM
My flow was way better, why the fuck did you delete it? So you guys can pretend to be Homer Simpson? Fucking frat-boys.

Its funny that youre pissed about being not funny.

FUNNY?
SHIT AIN'T FUCKIN FUNNY. I hate bitches that see some oppurtunity to be creative and grab some wack shit and flip it, thinking that shits acceptable. IT AIN'T. Chris Hansen reps the Beta's or Sigma's and Bob don't shit organic excellence because that fool doesn't even eat. KNOW YOUR SHIT.

Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frig deuce on November 10, 2008, 02:41:14 PM
KNOW YOUR SHIT.

edit: HANSEN, YOU GOT A COMEBACK OR WHAT???

I THINK VOV IS TAKIN IT BUD
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: masturskater on November 10, 2008, 02:43:50 PM
My flow was way better, why the fuck did you delete it? So you guys can pretend to be Homer Simpson? Fucking frat-boys.

Its funny that youre pissed about being not funny.

FUNNY?
SHIT AIN'T FUCKIN FUNNY. I hate bitches that see some oppurtunity to be creative and grab some wack shit and flip it, thinking that shits acceptable. IT AIN'T. Chris Hansen reps the Beta's or Sigma's and Bob don't shit organic excellence because that fool doesn't even eat. KNOW YOUR SHIT.


???
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 10, 2008, 02:52:30 PM
My flow was way better, why the fuck did you delete it? So you guys can pretend to be Homer Simpson? Fucking frat-boys.

Its funny that youre pissed about being not funny.

FUNNY?
SHIT AIN'T FUCKIN FUNNY. I hate bitches that see some oppurtunity to be creative and grab some wack shit and flip it, thinking that shits acceptable. IT AIN'T. Chris Hansen reps the Beta's or Sigma's and Bob don't shit organic excellence because that fool doesn't even eat. KNOW YOUR SHIT.


???

I had this ill flow they took off, because I guess it ruined the precious thread. Sony MDR Headphones posted right after me, "Way to shit on the best Slap thread in Months," next Biggums posted, "All in good fun." Also someone at the end posted something like "lets wait for the rebuttle", thats whats up. I'm pissed because that shit was money. And all y'all who read know it. Fuck that proves hip-hop is dead, because fucking haters delete shit. Whatever.


something like....

You thought you didn't know gargoyles know how to rap, cocaine is a hell of a drug, so is SLAP.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: MexicanSpaniard on November 10, 2008, 03:10:01 PM
Shut up jackass. The point was you're ruining a beautiful thread.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: mr. otsu on November 10, 2008, 03:45:08 PM
My flow was way better, why the fuck did you delete it? So you guys can pretend to be Homer Simpson? Fucking frat-boys.

Its funny that youre pissed about being not funny.

FUNNY?
SHIT AIN'T FUCKIN FUNNY. I hate bitches that see some oppurtunity to be creative and grab some wack shit and flip it, thinking that shits acceptable. IT AIN'T. Chris Hansen reps the Beta's or Sigma's and Bob don't shit organic excellence because that fool doesn't even eat. KNOW YOUR SHIT.


???

I had this ill flow they took off, because I guess it ruined the precious thread. Sony MDR Headphones posted right after me, "Way to shit on the best Slap thread in Months," next Biggums posted, "All in good fun." Also someone at the end posted something like "lets wait for the rebuttle", thats whats up. I'm pissed because that shit was money. And all y'all who read know it. Fuck that proves hip-hop is dead, because fucking haters delete shit. Whatever.


something like....

You thought you didn't know gargoyles know how to rap, cocaine is a hell of a drug, so is SLAP.



rawbuttson is a gargoyle? 
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 10, 2008, 04:00:06 PM
Shut up jackass. The point was you're ruining a beautiful thread.

first of all jackass is hella wack, I'm sober, no I'm not, I troll harder, than a 40ft line pulling in bass, but its all about the base, and a chocolate blunt to the face fuck a whole paragraph I'll kill it like cauk, point, and blast BLAUGH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: SFblah on November 10, 2008, 04:24:19 PM
Shut up jackass. The point was you're ruining a beautiful thread.

first of all jackass is hella wack, I'm sober, no I'm not, I troll harder, than a 40ft line pulling in bass, but its all about the base, and a chocolate blunt to the face fuck a whole paragraph I'll kill it like cauk, point, and blast BLAUGH MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!

You're actually the real Chad Fernandez aren't you?
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: biggums mcgee on November 10, 2008, 06:00:17 PM
Chad's begging like run DMC, 'I'm not rodney dangerfield so give me respect!' Don't sweat it Fernandez, I'll battle you if you want
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Sony MDR V2 headphones on November 10, 2008, 06:09:47 PM
He actually thinks he can be funny enough to come back...
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 10, 2008, 07:28:11 PM
He actually thinks he can be funny enough to come back...

Don’t call it a come back
some wanna act like a bitch
results with a slap on the wrist
but I stab in the back
fuck revenge
I don’t have to take shit from jock heads
y’all hella fake
Biggums wanna rap ain’t that some shit he probably doesn’t skate, HA! Gotcha bitch! GARGOYLES FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: MexicanSpaniard on November 10, 2008, 07:50:49 PM
I don't rap chaz.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: frig deuce on November 10, 2008, 08:35:52 PM
He actually thinks he can be funny enough to come back...

Don’t call it a come back
some wanna act like a bitch
results with a slap on the wrist
but I stab in the back
fuck revenge
I don’t have to take shit from jock heads
y’all hella fake
Biggums wanna rap ain’t that some shit he probably doesn’t skate, HA! Gotcha bitch! GARGOYLES FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/1242008/2/istockphoto_1242008_ashamed_in_corner.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on November 13, 2008, 11:28:56 AM
alright, i think chads done..

moving on..
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: brooklyn brawler on November 15, 2008, 04:31:41 PM
Chad, imagine this water was your asshole.

(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 15, 2008, 05:14:53 PM
You mean a bunch of lions licking my ass? Thats the life of a Gargoyle. You can't fuck with me motherfucker, I'll ollie over this whole fucking forum no-look bitch.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 15, 2008, 05:19:01 PM
First try too.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: MexicanSpaniard on November 15, 2008, 05:30:33 PM
Chaz:
what's your ethnic heritage
how tall are you
what's your weight
last freestyle battle you lost
shoe size
Heinies in one night
beer or ass
prefered pant
barber
?
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chad Fernandez on November 15, 2008, 05:44:28 PM
Check my fucking 411 dumbass
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sebastian toombs on November 15, 2008, 06:55:54 PM
chad,

    how did you feel when ed templeton called you "chud" in that slam city jam video?

your friend,

st
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sergioflorez on November 16, 2008, 06:38:44 AM
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)
(http://e.imagehost.org/0930/wU1uVD5aRbEV9yueRw.jpg)

best pic in a while
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: danker on June 11, 2009, 10:27:32 PM
come back vov
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: James Joyce on June 11, 2009, 11:20:16 PM
I miss Pontoon Boat.  :(
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: bentmode on June 12, 2009, 07:41:25 AM
catch em up at 2 am leavin comments on my Xanga
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: beardface on June 12, 2009, 04:21:07 PM
thank you for bringing this thread back. how is this not in classic?
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on June 12, 2009, 08:05:38 PM
Who dat, still standing?

Oh shit, it's me.

Chris fuckin' Handsome. Outstanding.

Vov on some O.J. shit. Capricorn one, B-film, fake lunar crash landing.


When that big dickked fool wants to expose his I.P. again, and post, I'll be right here.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Hola on June 13, 2009, 02:10:27 AM
i wish this thread was a real place that we could visit and watch this shit in real life
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: snickers on June 13, 2009, 02:28:59 AM
CLASSIC SLAP. PLZ!!!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on June 13, 2009, 11:21:59 PM
Who dat, still standing?

Oh shit, it's me.

Chris fuckin' Handsome. Outstanding.

Vov on some O.J. shit. Capricorn one, B-film, fake lunar crash landing.


When that big dickked fool wants to expose his I.P. again, and post, I'll be right here.

(http://wastedcelebrity.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/sziget2005-sean_paul.jpg)

seanapaul, nigga.

your shits weak like that nigga that took Joey Greco's place on Cheaters.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on June 13, 2009, 11:23:34 PM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Bipsmound on June 13, 2009, 11:37:03 PM
If I had to choose sides, I'd definitely cross the line in the sand to the Vurnquist Islands and flee from Camp Hansen.  The Vurnquist Islands is a striking getaway destination where anything goes.  That means that the long arm of the law (and Chris Hansen's snooping nose) aren't a part of the game there, just like Thailand.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on June 14, 2009, 09:01:01 AM
^ Rap or GTFO.


This goes out to that trife ass role playing white boy, Vovert V.

The way Vov smoke dick, you’d think he’s Jeffery Stryker
When all Hanz on deck, Chris Number 1 like William Riker
At the Neverland Organic Ramp, kids decked out in chaps like they was bikers.

When Handsome tap ass he always Crusher like Wesley
Vov takin’ cues from the Ex of that bitch, Lisa-Marie Presley
Kids getting drunk on Jesus Juice, send Vov to Sing Sing, make it expressly.

Resistance is futile, so Chris break out the Astroglide.
Vov smash his child bride’s dried divide raw hyde, then cast aside.
Four consecutive life sentences. Chance of parole? Fuck it. Denied.

Roddenberry life.




-You know the name.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: cold budweisers on June 14, 2009, 09:53:45 AM
Vov smash his child bride’s dried divide raw hyde, then cast aside.
chris is nice
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: whisper raps on June 14, 2009, 10:20:25 AM
whispers:

C Hans’ a bitch, tuggin’ Vov’s dick
With my complexion and voice, a jury’d never convict

I look and sound like a tween, so underage ain’t off limits
I rap the fundamentals, don’t rely on gimmicks

But C Hans it’s all good if you want to hang out
Go to church or do some shrooms; roll with me you’ll get clout


Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Stoeipoes on June 14, 2009, 04:06:53 PM
C-hanz, vov v. and J-rogz.

(http://crowderland.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/happycat.jpg)(http://crowderland.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/happycat.jpg)(http://crowderland.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/happycat.jpg)
(http://crowderland.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/happycat.jpg)(http://crowderland.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/happycat.jpg)(http://crowderland.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/happycat.jpg)

Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov Vurnquist. on June 14, 2009, 08:22:10 PM
^ Rap or GTFO.


This goes out to that trife ass role playing white boy, Vovert V.

The way Vov smoke dick, you’d think he’s Jeffery Stryker
When all Hanz on deck, Chris Number 1 like William Riker
At the Neverland Organic Ramp, kids decked out in chaps like they was bikers.

When Handsome tap ass he always Crusher like Wesley
Vov takin’ cues from the Ex of that bitch, Lisa-Marie Presley
Kids getting drunk on Jesus Juice, send Vov to Sing Sing, make it expressly.

Resistance is futile, so Chris break out the Astroglide.
Vov smash his child bride’s dried divide raw hyde, then cast aside.
Four consecutive life sentences. Chance of parole? Fuck it. Denied.

Roddenberry life.




-You know the name.


tell your wife to take a seat on Vovs buy-in-bulk peter
I beat it up until she fit to be a Wal Mart greeter
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

one verse, your hearse.
seanapaul to you, good sir.

Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on September 21, 2009, 08:54:32 AM
Im bumping this in hopes it will light a fire under this mans jen obrien scented posting palms
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: tysj! on September 21, 2009, 09:59:34 AM
Thanks for bumping one the best best threads to ever grace this board. Careers were made here and ended for some. Poor Chad didn't stand a chance.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: TapLuxiferfet on September 21, 2009, 12:56:45 PM
DICK RIDE MY STONE COCK GARGOYLE 4 LIFE
BAR HOP ON CROWN ROYAL
NO YOU DON'T
NO
NO
IS HOW YOU FLOW
THINK YOU COULD HANDLE A BAR FIGHT
HA YOU LOST THE ROSHAMBO
WHAT BITCH GARGOYLES 4 LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

09 STRAIGHT ON TOP THE BUILDINGS
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on September 21, 2009, 01:01:37 PM
pretty tite rap y0
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: TapLuxiferfet on September 21, 2009, 01:43:16 PM
YO DUNKA G
UMA THURMAN RUBBING MY DICK
MARIJUANA UP IN MY PIPE
LIFE AS A GARGOYLE
PULP FICTION SLASH THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
FIST UP YOUR ASS
HA DON'T SNEEZE AND LAUGH WE CALL THAT A HILARIOUS GAZOONTIGHT
CHARIOTS OF FIRE MOTHERFUCKER I WAS AN EXTRA IN PROM NIGHT
OSIRIS LINGERE LINE CHRISTMAS 09 CATCH ME ON THE RUNWAY
I'LL MODEL THAT SHIT LIKE A HERMAPHADITE
WHAT FUCKHEAD GARGOYLE STATUS AIN'T NO JOKE
THINK YOU LARGE FUCK YOUS AN ANT UNDER A MAGNIFYING GLASS
CHECK THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE

I'M A NEWLY DISCOVERED PLANET

DO THE MATH

I'M HELLA DOPE

CHANZ OR VOV FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
GARGOYLE BITCH I AIN'T NO DRAGON
I CAN NEVER BE SLAYED

I AIN'T NO JOKE BITCH GARGOYLES 4 LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on September 21, 2009, 01:47:53 PM
alright alright, let me give this a whirl...

YO YO YO...

...youre a faggot.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: TapLuxiferfet on September 21, 2009, 02:10:13 PM
alright alright, let me give this a whirl...

YO YO YO...

...youre a faggot.

YO YO YO
I DON'T PLAY WITH YO YO'S
DON'T CALL ME A FAGGOT THATS NOT POLITE
NO HOMO
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GROW UP LIKE RYAN SHECKLER
NO BROMO
I'M A GARGOYLE 4 LIFE CHECK MY PHOTOS IN HECKLER
WHAT WHAT GARGOYLES RUN THE STREETS I AIN'T NO JOKE BITCH I AIN'T NO JOKE
HA!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on December 02, 2009, 05:23:34 AM
(http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/630/71070953.gif)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on December 02, 2009, 08:53:14 AM
Vov down on the waterfront, could have been a contender
Straight focused his account, put past splendor in his fruit smoothie blender.
Flew his white organic cotton jizz sock from his compound gates, packed it in, full surrender.

Took a short grind of a long Canyon now he free fallin’ like Tom Petty.
He smash at the bottom, cut up like machete, future aint lookin’ bright, fuckin’ human confetti.
Hanzy up in the comfort of his own home, munchin’ whole-wheat spaghetti.
Got Vov’s spine on a plinth, a work of art, straight Giacometti.

-Domestic Bliss Life.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: FakieFlipCG on December 02, 2009, 04:27:15 PM
Vov down on the waterfront, could have been a contender
Straight focused his account, put past splendor in his fruit smoothie blender.
Flew his white organic cotton jizz sock from his compound gates, packed it in, full surrender.

Took a short grind of a long Canyon now he free fallin’ like Tom Petty.
He smash at the bottom, cut up like machete, future aint lookin’ bright, fuckin’ human confetti.
Hanzy up in the comfort of his own home, munchin’ whole-wheat spaghetti.
Got Vov’s spine on a plinth, a work of art, straight Giacometti.

-Domestic Bliss Life.

commence  slow-clap now.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: MurrayHewitt on December 02, 2009, 05:17:52 PM
(http://i573.photobucket.com/albums/ss175/progressinacan/SlowClap.gif)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: brooklyn brawler on December 02, 2009, 07:49:28 PM
THIS IS BERRA AND KOSTON'S FAULT
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on December 03, 2009, 12:02:11 PM
Bump this thread like Judge Dread pump lead.


Here lies the body of Vovert V.
Trife ass nigga of inbred pedigree.
Vile vector of filth, straight hepatitis B.
Tombstone overgrown with Brazil nut trees
Smashed in by vandals, nothin’ left but debris.
So on this day C-Hanz must decree:
He’s guaranteed nicest emcee, to ever grace the marquee
This whole verse, off the top of the dome, insult to injury.

-Hanz in glove.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: everypennyfedcar on December 03, 2009, 12:20:45 PM
wait, this thread isn't classic slap?
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: snickers on March 22, 2010, 01:10:39 AM
wait, this thread isn't classic slap?
bump
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: professional on March 22, 2010, 04:18:53 AM
greatest thread I have ever read through on Slap. So stoked for my first day of work now, thanks C Hans.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: SFblah on March 22, 2010, 09:46:07 AM
wait, this thread isn't classic slap?
bump

It should be Classic.  I bookmarked it forever ago.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: raul on March 22, 2010, 11:11:15 AM
How did this fly under my radar for a year and a half? I laugh, I cried, and I referred to Wikipedia and the dictionary a bunch of times throughout this thing. I hope this thread wins an award.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on March 22, 2010, 12:33:27 PM
Vovvy, Come back.


Christopher Hansen’s got more Hoes than a Thunder-Cat
Vov jerkin’ to Huggies ads, dick hard from the baby fat.
C’s schlong so long, he needs a Mexican Jimmy Hat.
I’m straight Macaulay and Vov Dansen, getting even, tit for tat.

Slim-Jim length and King-Cobra can girth
When C hit wifey’s section, no hope for Vaginal birth.
I wreck pussies from Lansing down to Fort Worth.
Meanwhile,Vov actin’ gay for Tom Ford, like he was Colin Firth.


Vov, getting called out like BINGO was his name-o
Chris is bound stir up controversy like reinstating Jim Crow
Vov treat take your kid to work, like a Saigon strip show
Chris primed to slice off tiny appendages, modern day Van Gogh
Tossin’ out social commentary like this was a hammer throw,
Word to Henry David Thoreau.


I'm Chris Hansen
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: blackalbino on March 22, 2010, 12:38:29 PM
does not get any better than this
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sweets on March 22, 2010, 12:53:38 PM
Wow. Motherfucking wow.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Bipsmound on March 22, 2010, 01:18:35 PM
Upon yonder hills do my eyes deceive
Hanson with a stale reprieve
Tooting his horn like a rusty trumpet
Bragging hard cause he bagged a strumpet

Seeking to tarnish Vov's varnish
With unreasonable claims of penile garnish
Indisputable king says he
But I'm still here and I'm still free

Orphan children in my bed
They smile and laugh and give me head
The love of minors envelopes my bloom
As they learn to play my wood bassoon

A half hour or more he spends on his rebuttal
I'm already out the door with a tight end to scuttle
Hanson's wrath may know no bounds
As I mine his children, even those with downs.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on March 22, 2010, 02:53:29 PM
Oh blah dee, oh blah da,

Bips got his prick buried in Corky, from Life Goes On.
Layin’ waste to mongoloid’s butt-holes, like he be Genghis Khan.
Treatin’ special-ed report cards like porn, a target to cum-on.
Straight Mcgonagall poetry bites is tired, Bips’ lyrical account, overdrawn.
Drop a whole track? Pssh, Only if agreed upon.
Next poem you write will be your last, something like a swan-song.
For now, fuck it and fuck you Bips, conclusion is forgone.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Bipsmound on March 22, 2010, 03:10:37 PM
My last poem will be on Swan Song, Led Zeppelin's label
Annihilating child rectum like an old witch in a fable
Rocking the bells on your son's Christmas socks
Affecting more youngsters than the return of smallpox

My didgeridoo ain't gettin played by a hippy
All the kids be screamin, "give it to me Bippy!"
Your hunting skills fall way short of correct
With C-Hanz Jr. always callin me collect 
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: pyrex vision on March 22, 2010, 03:15:24 PM
(http://thumb1.shutterstock.com.edgesuite.net/display_pic_with_logo/9866/9866,1178658920,2/stock-photo-businessman-eating-pop-corn-3263798.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Upgrayedd on March 22, 2010, 03:18:20 PM
Upon yonder hills do my eyes deceive
Hanson with a stale reprieve
Tooting his horn like a rusty trumpet
Bragging hard cause he bagged a strumpet

Seeking to tarnish Vov's varnish
With unreasonable claims of penile garnish
Indisputable king says he
But I'm still here and I'm still free

Orphan children in my bed
They smile and laugh and give me head
The love of minors envelopes my bloom
As they learn to play my wood bassoon

A half hour or more he spends on his rebuttal
I'm already out the door with a tight end to scuttle
Hanson's wrath may know no bounds
As I mine his children, even those with downs.
a challenger approaches..... ;D
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on March 22, 2010, 11:25:04 PM
...and I thought I was a party pooper.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Bantam on March 22, 2010, 11:29:36 PM
I love this thread.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on March 23, 2010, 03:51:49 AM
WE WANT VOVERT
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: raul on March 23, 2010, 04:27:21 PM
I was Vov Vurnquist.

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday, please bring Vov back from the dead so he can give the children his basket of multi-colored juevos.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Davy on March 27, 2010, 01:50:24 PM
<3
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: snickers on May 11, 2010, 01:26:51 AM
BUMPED FOR VOV!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on May 11, 2010, 04:34:23 AM
BUMPED FOR VOV!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on May 11, 2010, 04:41:45 AM
(http://www.justice-day.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Bob-Burnquist.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on August 17, 2010, 08:10:49 AM
Some motherfucking bump business.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: heckler on August 17, 2010, 12:45:27 PM
(http://skateboardingstartswith.es/content/timeline/2002/2002-bob-burnquist-team-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Locbrew on August 17, 2010, 12:55:37 PM
(http://www.thrashermagazine.com/imagesV2/Burnout/2010/burnout_maloofOC/DSC_1286.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ALT on August 17, 2010, 01:30:36 PM
(http://i577.photobucket.com/albums/ss217/ALT-/29740866km9.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on August 17, 2010, 10:47:13 PM
(http://66.225.209.43/images/uploads/BobBurnquist3rdPlacePro01_960x540.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Allen. on August 18, 2010, 12:14:58 AM
(http://66.225.209.43/images/uploads/BobBurnquist3rdPlacePro01_960x540.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov_Vurnquist on August 18, 2010, 02:06:35 PM

Planted both of Andy Macs feet firmly in the grave so i could take his wife and children to Olive Garden.
like.. uh..

welcome to the uniVurncity, heres your first lecture
your girl, she want the Rod-man like Carmen Electra
make her cum so quick, she thought she fucked a specta
organic tuna, USDA certified inspecta
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on August 18, 2010, 07:03:55 PM
where you at hanz
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: pyrex vision on August 18, 2010, 07:56:44 PM
(http://66.225.209.43/images/uploads/BobBurnquist3rdPlacePro01_960x540.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on August 18, 2010, 09:18:57 PM
Hey, yo, Vov be that Youtube star producin? viral vids

No beef from C. respect the hustle, but not when hustlin? kids.

David after the Dildo? Are you fuckin? serious? Can this be ?real life??

While Vov yanks Ben Wa?s like startin? a lawnmower, Hanz? planted deep inside his wife.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on August 19, 2010, 04:48:03 AM
yeeeees.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: bentmode on August 19, 2010, 09:06:08 PM
i heard the Vov does abortions for midgets and then uses the midget fetus to make a soup.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Vov_Vurnquist on August 21, 2010, 03:51:05 PM
Abortions at the crib? Yeah vovvy the doctor
use so much lubrication vov should be sponsored by Gamble and Proctor
Astroglide sticker on the helmet
when vov get in that snatch, watch her back cause im hellbent
picked up the scent of Hansens wench, now im stalkin'
catch her Home Alone and treat her like Macaulay Culkin
this organic dick is comparable to the Balkans
and after i beat it up i read your kids a little Tolkien
Chris get caught balken' when it comes to this rap shit
vovs style is straight bat shit, Hansens style straight cat shit
sans litter box when vov start it
take a dump on the carpet after i fuck your wifes armpit
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: blackalbino on August 21, 2010, 04:14:01 PM
Abortions at the crib? Yeah vovvy the doctor
use so much lubrication vov should be sponsored by Gamble and Proctor
Astroglide sticker on the helmet
when vov get in that snatch, watch her back cause im hellbent
picked up the scent of Hansens wench, now im stalkin'
catch her Home Alone and treat her like Macaulay Culkin
this organic dick is comparable to the Balkans
and after i beat it up i read your kids a little Tolkien
Chris get caught balken' when it comes to this rap shit
vovs style is straight bat shit, Hansens style straight cat shit
sans litter box when vov start it
take a dump on the carpet after i fuck your wifes armpit

Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ALT on August 21, 2010, 04:17:50 PM
picked up the scent of Hansens wench, now im stalkin'
catch her Home Alone and treat her like Macaulay Culkin
:D :D
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Mooley on August 21, 2010, 04:48:30 PM
Unbelievable, still.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on August 21, 2010, 10:23:52 PM
still the fucking best
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: oldeath on September 08, 2010, 04:41:16 AM
still the fucking best
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: sparksandblood on September 08, 2010, 07:26:21 AM
Abortions at the crib? Yeah vovvy the doctor
use so much lubrication vov should be sponsored by Gamble and Proctor
Astroglide sticker on the helmet
when vov get in that snatch, watch her back cause im hellbent
picked up the scent of Hansens wench, now im stalkin'
catch her Home Alone and treat her like Macaulay Culkin
this organic dick is comparable to the Balkans
and after i beat it up i read your kids a little Tolkien
Chris get caught balken' when it comes to this rap shit
vovs style is straight bat shit, Hansens style straight cat shit
sans litter box when vov start it
take a dump on the carpet after i fuck your wifes armpit

long live vov and his organic excellence.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Pearl on March 03, 2012, 11:53:52 AM
(http://skatelog.com/photos/skaters/bob-burnquist/espn-lax-a-2004-264x350.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: mandibleclaw on March 03, 2012, 04:17:24 PM
please god bring back vov
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Pearl on March 03, 2012, 04:43:23 PM
please god bring back vov

I play instrumentals and read/rap those lyrics in my head, then die laughing.

Shit is CLASSIC SLAP.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: ahlee on July 12, 2013, 01:28:22 PM
miss you
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Tale Crab on July 12, 2013, 02:56:54 PM
miss you
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on April 14, 2016, 07:38:33 PM
miss you
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: VURNQUIST, VOV on April 14, 2016, 10:08:58 PM
miss you

AYO, I'M BACK MOTHAFUCKA

I'm on one, been off the radar for a couple minutes
Chris Hanson's wife give perfect head just like a pint of Guinness
She takes 12 inches, aye that's a foot in case you didn't know
Das Ubermench, sprung off some kale and half a pound of blow
I dropped in, fucked her switch and then I came fakie
Cargo shorts when I'm clothed, aim to maim when nakie
Feaux bear skin rug, Mrs. Hanson rockin my knee pads
Vov in nothin but my helmet scrotum deep in that ass

¡HANSON!
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Joust Ostrich on April 15, 2016, 07:14:07 AM
Today is coming very correct.  Welcome back.
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: slappies on April 15, 2016, 09:18:33 AM
(https://img.youtube.com/vi/fw5degEur7g/mqdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on April 15, 2016, 03:18:27 PM
vovert v....now we just need c-hanz and ven ovrien to make this cake a fuckin party
Title: Re: Vov Vurnquist
Post by: iwshilvdnfinland on April 16, 2016, 04:17:58 AM
where's sheffledge