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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: starvingrobot on April 21, 2009, 07:27:10 PM
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Long story short, I hooked up with this chick last weekend. There was some dirty talk, with one of the statements being "I want your pussy to squirt all over me." We tried to get her to 'squirt', didn't happen. So the next day she tells me to check out this short story that was just written by her friend. I finally checked it out last night. I enjoyed it so much that I linked it to a few friends and every single one of them are now on a mission to master the technique.
So is it true? Can all chicks squirt? Have you ever made it happen? Share your stories and ideas, as I am now interested as all hell in the subject after reading about it. Be sure to read the tutorial towards the end and you too will be on a mission to bring this shit to the table with the next dame you snatch up.
Makes for a hilarious, informative and inspiring read - http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=31022755&blogId=484322305
(http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=31022755&blogId=484322305)
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yeah last year, it was so uncalled for, it poured all over my crotch, my dick smelt like her puss for 3 days, the end
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Why did you not bathe?
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(http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/myhrvold07/pictures/picture-15.jpg)
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two girls
only asian girl i've ever had sex with did it every time she'd orgasm, and then the other girl would do it only when i'd work both holes and her clit
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None of the 7 girls I've ever been with has squirted. Either I don't know what I am doing or they don't have the mechanics.
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I think only select girls can do it, or have learned to release the squirt hatch.
Cause there is like three videos i can think of where I've seen the girl blow her load. And since pornstars are professional fuckers you think they could all do it.
No, I've never made a girl do it, but after learning it's mostly urine I don't know if i want to.
Edit:
After reading that guys story it seems pretty bad ass, I might have to give it a try,
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No and I also would not like to be shit on, spit on or farted on.
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Fuck, I wish! I want to get blasted right in my motherfuckin goddamn face.
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damn man, i gotta try this. no fat chicks though. fat chicks squirting has got to be gross as fuck. ugh.
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
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No and I also would not like to be shit on, spit on or farted on.
the hells wrong with you? Not even spit?!
Call me crazy, but I am completely a fan of a freaky ass chick spitting on my dick while blowing me off.
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i made my lady squirt last week, she was quite suprised. with the right dick pressure on the right vaginal spots, and maybe some clitoral stimulation, it is, in my short but ever so excited experience, easily do-able.
to be straight i love porno's with girls squirting whether it be fake or not it definitely makes cum shoot out my dick at breakneck speeds
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
you're the raddest dude
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i made my lady squirt last week, she was quite suprised. with the right dick pressure on the right vaginal spots, and maybe some clitoral stimulation, it is, in my short but ever so excited experience, easily do-able.
so she just pisses all over you?
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i made my lady squirt last week, she was quite suprised. with the right dick pressure on the right vaginal spots, and maybe some clitoral stimulation, it is, in my short but ever so excited experience, easily do-able.
so she just pisses all over you?
No doubt... if it isn't piss, will someone please explain what the liquid gushing out of these ladies is?
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it wasn't a big load. it definitely wasn't entirely piss, and it definitely smelled mildly like some tenecian sea bass.
i don't doubt one bit that there is some urine in the mixture, but it's definitely not completely comprised of it. i don't really care, i think it's rad as fuck either way.
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it wasn't a big load. it definitely wasn't entirely piss, and it definitely smelled mildly like some tenecian sea bass.
i don't doubt one bit that there is some urine in the mixture, but it's definitely not completely comprised of it. i don't really care, i think it's rad as fuck either way.
Shit yeah!
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I had sex with some girl on a bathroom floor one night and she squirted all over my pants. I wish we had the lights on so I could have seen it. I also fingered her later on that night and she did it again all over my hand. Squirting is tight! I wish every girl could do it.
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
you're the raddest dude
it does.
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good blog. that dude is a babe slayer
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I don't find anything a Slap Pal I've meat here saying anything perverted, thangs happen. There's nothing wrong with a squirt story to me if it's not my couch.
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^ Have you ever made a girl squirt from her butt during sex?
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once in my car and it left a small stain and i got my buddies to sit on it and when they sat down then told them their sittin in squirt but now i have a new car
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i made my lady squirt last week, she was quite suprised. with the right dick pressure on the right vaginal spots, and maybe some clitoral stimulation, it is, in my short but ever so excited experience, easily do-able.
so she just pisses all over you?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation#Relation_to_urinary_incontinence
Apparently it's a mystery of science!!! I don't get it. How fucking hard is it to test whether a liquid is piss or not?
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once in my car and it left a small stain and i got my buddies to sit on it and when they sat down then told them their sittin in squirt but now i have a new car
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
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My cock has never made a girl squirt.
probably never will.
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There was some dirty talk, with one of the statements being "I want your pussy to squirt all over me."
wait... what?
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There was some dirty talk, with one of the statements being "I want your pussy to squirt all over me."
wait... what?
Yeah, I think it's quite obvious I'm not normal in bed, based on my previous threads.
My cock has never made a girl squirt.
probably never will.
There is hope. Read the tutorial, now just apply that to your cock motions. Works best with the chick on top so you can go lightning fast.
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Thread and article are both the shit. ;D
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"I had it posted but decided to delete it, I don’t want to piss myspace off, but if you want to see it email me at [email protected], I will email it to you. Its ridiculously hot."
Did somebody write him to get the pic already?
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I actually use this technique every time, but I always stop when she closes her legs. Next time I'm prying the fuckers open. I swear by it for giving them an orgasm though. My record is 3 but I think with his added information I or anyone could go higher.
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
you're the raddest dude
if you're getting some traction on a move you're making with a girl, move in as if you're about to tell her a secret, and kiss the fuck out of her ear for a second or two. pretty much failsafe.
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No and I also would not like to be shit on, spit on or farted on.
Call me crazy, but I am completely a fan of a freaky ass chick spitting on my dick while blowing me off.
I'm weird? I don't know.
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Soooooooooo many sig worthy quotes in this thread.
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at work so i havent read anyones replies but, yes i have and she was a lesbian too.
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^ Have you ever made a girl squirt from her butt during sex?
Do not go anywhere near anal excretions.
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girls can be pretty disgusting
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Fuck, I wish! I want to get blasted right in my motherfuckin goddamn face.
hahaha this thread is fucking priceless. and no i havent. i dont even think ive given a chick an orgasm from sex. they always stop and say they feel like they are going to pee.
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unrelated but I have a "friend" who used to think that if you piss inside a girl's vagina while your cock is in there, the vagina closes up and cuts your cock off.
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
you're the raddest dude
i always feel like such a little kid when i try the ear move
i've been on a mission to make a girl squirt all over my face. every time i hear that one of my friends did it i get pumped for them, so i can only imagine how psyched i am going to be when i get it to work
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unrelated but I have a "friend" who used to think that if you piss inside a girl's vagina while your cock is in there, the vagina closes up and cuts your cock off.
sounds like someone needs to test this theory..
and for the squirting, my last girlfriend did it all the time and it was a lot each time. It became more of a hassle than anything i would say because of all the sheet washing and prep work that had to be done. by prep work i mean laying towels down before we did the did. But i will agree with some of you that it can be pretty cool.
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unrelated but I have a "friend" who used to think that if you piss inside a girl's vagina while your cock is in there, the vagina closes up and cuts your cock off.
sounds like someone needs to test this theory..
and for the squirting, my last girlfriend did it all the time and it was a lot each time. It became more of a hassle than anything i would say because of all the sheet washing and prep work that had to be done. by prep work i mean laying towels down before we did the did. But i will agree with some of you that it can be pretty cool.
dude thats why you buy one of those piss things that kids have for when they piss the bed.
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You mean a chamberpot? Those are da bomb. Chamberpots all day.
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i have never made a girl squirt :'(
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I'm gonna try this on a girl I know this weekend.
I'll keep you updated on the results.
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There was some dirty talk, with one of the statements being "I want your pussy to squirt all over me."
I think I say that every weekend during drunk sex...I guess I say some pretty random shit, I should record said dirty talk...
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yeah last year, it was so uncalled for, it poured all over my crotch, my dick smelt like her puss for 3 days, the end
Why did you not bathe?
I would guess its because it smells better than raisins soaked in vinegar.
And I had something like Unclebobo, where the girl is pouring juices all over me, but I don't think it was an actual squirt. I think it was just a juicy girl. Didn't wear a condom once with her, and when I pulled out, my dick looked like my fingers used to when I would stay in a bath too long.
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You mean a chamberpot? Those are da bomb. Chamberpots all day.
its more of a heating blanket with out the magical heat gnomes.
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I've had my share of "juicy" girls...never a full-on squirter, though.
Either way, here's a technique I use to pleasure a woman that seems to do the trick during sexin': When you're on top facing one another, position yourself in a way in which your hip bones are a little higher up than hers. When you do this you'll be thrusting in a downward motion, rubbing up on her clit the whole time. The women will love you for this.
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unrelated but I have a "friend" who used to think that if you piss inside a girl's vagina while your cock is in there, the vagina closes up and cuts your cock off.
I once fucked a girl while needing to piss, and I was 80% sure I did in in her, and I was just thinking to myself like.. "my god i justpissed in this girls pussy. she's going to die." or this is just going to be the most embarassing thing. luckily I didn't.. I heard they can really die from that.
and as for squirting, I like my share of freaky-weird stuff but I think squirting is nasty. I thnk I would just retaliate with some vomit honestly.
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Full on rushing waters is pretty high on my Bucket List.
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One night with a German girl, in college. Eating my way to her heart, She came, a big mouthfull.
I looked like a chip munk and kissed her with it, cause I didn't know what was going on,
and it didn't taste like anything. I asked her if she came and she laughed, trembling.
I didn't know shit, but apparently I had some amount of skill.
Art Class Alyson too. She would just gush and I'd think about baseball while she would repeatedly cum.
11 times once, and Im just a normal dude.
That was kinda cool. But every girl is different and they don't all gush like that, or we'd all be washing our
sheets more than once a month. SOme girls can't even eeek out a single orgasm, and that is a bummer.
P.S. I like this thread. Good memories.
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One night with a German girl, in college. Eating my way to her heart, She came, a big mouthfull.
I looked like a chip munk and kissed her with it, cause I didn't know what was going on,
and it didn't taste like anything. I asked her if she came and she laughed, trembling.
I didn't know shit, but apparently I had some amount of skill.
Art Class Alyson too. She would just gush and I'd think about baseball while she would repeatedly cum.
11 times once, and Im just a normal dude.
That was kinda cool. But every girl is different and they don't all gush like that, or we'd all be washing our
sheets more than once a month. SOme girls can't even eeek out a single orgasm, and that is a bummer.
P.S. I like this thread. Good memories.
Its funny how different girls react so differently to the same stuff. Some girls make you feel gangster as fuck, the others make you feel like you can't. I've been there when your mouth fills up with her woman juice. I just start spitting it out all over the place. She can't complain about it being gross- she's shooting pussy juice at your face.
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She can't complain about it being gross- she's shooting pussy juice at your face.
SON OF A BITCH!
lols for hours.
sig.
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unrelated but I have a "friend" who used to think that if you piss inside a girl's vagina while your cock is in there, the vagina closes up and cuts your cock off.
I once fucked a girl while needing to piss, and I was 80% sure I did in in her, and I was just thinking to myself like.. "my god i justpissed in this girls pussy. she's going to die." or this is just going to be the most embarassing thing. luckily I didn't.. I heard they can really die from that.
Fucking while having to piss real bad will just make you bust easier. And i wonder what would happen if you did actually piss while inside. All i know is it would probably feel great.
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One night with a German girl, in college. Eating my way to her heart, She came, a big mouthfull.
I looked like a chip munk and kissed her with it, cause I didn't know what was going on,
and it didn't taste like anything. I asked her if she came and she laughed, trembling.
I didn't know shit, but apparently I had some amount of skill.
Art Class Alyson too. She would just gush and I'd think about baseball while she would repeatedly cum.
11 times once, and Im just a normal dude.
That was kinda cool. But every girl is different and they don't all gush like that, or we'd all be washing our
sheets more than once a month. SOme girls can't even eeek out a single orgasm, and that is a bummer.
P.S. I like this thread. Good memories.
wait, you're telling me you cupped your mouth over one of those porno style pussy volcano eruptions? somebody gnar this man.
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oh my god-this thread is amazing. hilarious. make this classic slap. please.
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"my god i justpissed in this girls pussy. she's going to die."
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You know, I have heard about guys pissing in girls mouths during bjs and it makes me skeptical. I thought I've readd that if you were at full mass, only semen could come out. But then again, I have pissed with morning wood.
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i wonder if a chick can squirt so much that she gets dehydrated and dies.
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A friend had this big funny smelling stain on his passenger car seat which somehow took weeks to dry out and which he refused to talk about especially when giving people lifts. Turned out eventually that it was the work of a squirter. Best of all he'd been cornered into giving his mum a lift the day after the seats baptism, and that shed naturally been a little curious as to the nature of the damp patch after sitting in the seat for a while and having it seep through her clothes...
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I've been with 3 or 4 squirters. But the last one, about a year ago this time month, I was fucking in the ass doggy style and she blew up everywhere. I was a bit scared at first thinking she just shit on me or something. But when I found out she squirted I was a ecstatic. This is by no means a credit to my sexual prowess, this girl was just a water fountain. It did take some work, but I am sure even Dr Newton could make her squirt.
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that guy is a prick, he tells to link him videos of girl squirting to tell us if the videos are 'teaching' the right way instead of sending us the real deal.
i guess he is lying so he can score some chicks.
You know that guy's biggest fan is himself.
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unexpected blood fingers are pretty fucking shitty, especially when it dries in the crevices of your nails
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girl's pussies definitely smell worse when they're raggin'.
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
you're the raddest dude
i just kissed this big tittied girl on the ear earlier tonight. im prtty sure she's mine.
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No, but a girl today told me that a good trick was to play with girls ears. It "gets them all wet." I'll have to try that :]
you're the raddest dude
Man I love big tits.
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No, and I don't want to. That shit is weird.
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This thread is one of the best/ funniest things ive ever read
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No, and I don't want to. That shit is weird.
thats kinda like me i kinda think that is a bit gross but fuck it sometimes u gotta just get fuckin greasy
nah i do; i just dont like projectile liquids hitting me.
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and for the squirting, my last girlfriend did it all the time and it was a lot each time. It became more of a hassle than anything i would say because of all the sheet washing and prep work that had to be done. by prep work i mean laying towels down before we did the did.
i can just picture val venis entering the ring
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No, and I don't want to. That shit is weird.
thats kinda like me i kinda think that is a bit gross but fuck it sometimes u gotta just get fuckin greasy
Naw man, that shit is like tobacco smoke or whiskey, the first couple times you gotta force it down, but eventually, you love the taste because you know how awesome life is when you taste that.
And fucking a girl on her period makes it easier to get her off.
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yeah, this little 19 yr old half asian i dated a few years back... she would come like 7 times everytime we fucked... but only squirted a couple times... surprised her more than me... she was so stoked, said she came like a dude... bitch was telling all her friends about it for weeks
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No, and I don't want to. That shit is weird.
thats kinda like me i kinda think that is a bit gross but fuck it sometimes u gotta just get fuckin greasy
And fucking a girl on her period makes it easier to get her off.
my girl gets off like crazy on her period. we don't do it much, but probably a good 5 or 6 times. just put down a towell, wrap up your dick, or do that shower shit. it would bother me if i wasn't with the chick i guess
condom, late in the cycle, its all good. I figure you are sticking your penis into a hole she pisses out of, its not like its ever really that sanitary, the blood is offset by her multiple orgasms. I read this book in college, I forgot what it is called, something about the vatos locos, and there is a long scene where he talks about fucking a girl during her orgasm, thinking it was rad, pulling out, and changing his mind about the awesomeness. She pretty much forces his dick in her temporary jar of strawberry jelly too.
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Hahahaha shit! I just randomly came across this.
Video tutorial - http://www.efukt.com/2105_How_To_Make_A_Girl_Cum.html (http://www.efukt.com/2105_How_To_Make_A_Girl_Cum.html)
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No, and I don't want to. That shit is weird.
thats kinda like me i kinda think that is a bit gross but fuck it sometimes u gotta just get fuckin greasy
And fucking a girl on her period makes it easier to get her off.
my girl gets off like crazy on her period. we don't do it much, but probably a good 5 or 6 times. just put down a towell, wrap up your dick, or do that shower shit. it would bother me if i wasn't with the chick i guess
In a relationship, the period sex is a necessary evil but not when it's a surprise. I was at a party once and had the vampire humps with this girl and didn't find out until I went out of the room for a smoke and my homies were all snickering. I thought it was because they knew I just did the deed but no, it was the big bloody mess all over my new white shirt. The girl ended up being more horrified than me so I couldn't really get mad.
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condom, late in the cycle, its all good. I figure you are sticking your penis into a hole she pisses out of, its not like its ever really that sanitary, the blood is offset by her multiple orgasms.
you do know that the piss doesnt come out of the same hole that you put your dick into, right?
http://www.vacadsci.org/jsr/Fexter.jpg
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sure, but I also only shit out of a tiny hole in my ass, somehow though, I wipe wayyy more than that. Piss comes out of the hole and splatters all over like a broken sprinkler. That's why chicks gotta sit to piss. Never the less, blood, poontang, and other dudes' cum have probably been in there too so thinking about the cleanliness of the pussy isn't that important until you are showering the smell off of your dick. Yeast infections and smelly fungus are important though. Avoid those things.
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sure, but I also only shit out of a tiny hole in my ass, somehow though, I wipe wayyy more than that. Piss comes out of the hole and splatters all over like a broken sprinkler. That's why chicks gotta sit to piss. Never the less, blood, poontang, and other dudes' cum have probably been in there too so thinking about the cleanliness of the pussy isn't that important until you are showering the smell off of your dick. Yeast infections and smelly fungus are important though. Avoid those things.
hahahaha
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Hahahaha shit! I just randomly came across this.
Video tutorial - http://www.efukt.com/2105_How_To_Make_A_Girl_Cum.html (http://www.efukt.com/2105_How_To_Make_A_Girl_Cum.html)
that was awesome
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i know this girl and shes pretty open with things so i knew asking her would go over just fine. heres the chat log. i think we're going to the bar this weekend, i might have to take her to the car.
me: so i have a question
me: its fucking filthy i will say it already
me: but i am so curious, as are all of my friends
me: do chicks really squirt? or is that some porno trick where they put something in them first then push it out
her: hahahah
me: ive seen it come out like a super soaker on a porn but in real life nobody can ever claim to have seen it
her: maybe one day you'll have the pleasure of finding out.
me: so you can do it
her: maybe.
me: lying piece of shit
her: okay, maybe i'm lying.
me: haha ok i was kidding but really...
me: so it does happen?
her: yes.
her: i mean, a guy has never made me do it
her: not saying it couldn't happen, but i've only ever done it with myself.
me: ok and according to wikipedia, the fluid is not urine or "cum". its like mystery juice
me: did it shoot across the room be honest
her: yeah
her: it's clear
me: like water or like semen
her: hhahahha
her: more like water
her: not across the room
her: it'll go like a foot, maybe a foot and a half
me: thats gnarly
me: thats fuckin tight
her: i wish a guy could make me do it
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her: i wish a guy could make me do it
See, that's why all of you claiming that would be a bad thing are fucking up. Make a girl squirt and you can be like a mix between Chris Brown and Dick Cheney- slapping the bitch and having her call a press conference to apologize for it.
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i've made a couple squirt, by accident but really rad. one was a one night stand and she told my that i should insure my fingers. she had a velvet pussy.
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she had a velvet pussy.
so smooth, so dreamy
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i know this girl and shes pretty open with things so i knew asking her would go over just fine. heres the chat log. i think we're going to the bar this weekend, i might have to take her to the car.
me: so i have a question
me: its fucking filthy i will say it already
me: but i am so curious, as are all of my friends
me: do chicks really squirt? or is that some porno trick where they put something in them first then push it out
her: hahahah
me: ive seen it come out like a super soaker on a porn but in real life nobody can ever claim to have seen it
her: maybe one day you'll have the pleasure of finding out.
me: so you can do it
her: maybe.
me: lying piece of shit
her: okay, maybe i'm lying.
me: haha ok i was kidding but really...
me: so it does happen?
her: yes.
her: i mean, a guy has never made me do it
her: not saying it couldn't happen, but i've only ever done it with myself.
me: ok and according to wikipedia, the fluid is not urine or "cum". its like mystery juice
me: did it shoot across the room be honest
her: yeah
her: it's clear
me: like water or like semen
her: hhahahha
her: more like water
her: not across the room
her: it'll go like a foot, maybe a foot and a half
me: thats gnarly
me: thats fuckin tight
her: i wish a guy could make me do it
This conversation has me rethinking my previous stance. I'll have to do some research.
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i have made one. it was not as good as it sounds. i will explain why.
i was at my friends girlfriends house for her birthday party. her mom was apparently some cougar who some dude i knew lost his virginity to a few years back. having always had a place in my heart for filthy tramps i was intrigued by the idea of taking her down. needless to say i was not prepared for the results.
i walked upstairs to find the mom sitting outside on the balcony, puffing on a virginia slim. i walked up to her and started talking, just the normal chit-chat. all of a sudden we kissed. then she started blowing me out there, overlooking broadway st. it was a beautiful thing. we went back into her bedroom and immediately got down to business. being slightly drunk, and i guess just out of habit i went in unwrapped. it was a bad move, but i suffered no consequences from it. anyways, we humped for about 15 minutes before she said "im a squirter". i didnt really think much of it.
it happened a couple minutes later, felt awesome, then i came in her mouth and got up. thats when i looked in the mirror. from about nipple level down to mid theigh i was covered in what looked like watered down blood. with darker, thicker blood around my soldier. it made me get that face jim carrey gets in dumb and dumber, he sees harry kissing mary swanson. the gagging, near puke face. it was by far the nastiest sexual expirience i have ever had. i looked like i stood in front of the elevator from the shining. i dont know how it happened without me noticing. but apparently i did a mom, on her period, and she squirted bloody piss all over me. jesus christ.
this being said i would very much be down to have a young lass shoot her bloodless juice on me.
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i have made one. it was not as good as it sounds. i will explain why.
i was at my friends girlfriends house for her birthday party. her mom was apparently some cougar who some dude i knew lost his virginity to a few years back. having always had a place in my heart for filthy tramps i was intrigued by the idea of taking her down. needless to say i was not prepared for the results.
i walked upstairs to find the mom sitting outside on the balcony, puffing on a virginia slim. i walked up to her and started talking, just the normal chit-chat. all of a sudden we kissed. then she started blowing me out there, overlooking broadway st. it was a beautiful thing. we went back into her bedroom and immediately got down to business. being slightly drunk, and i guess just out of habit i went in unwrapped. it was a bad move, but i suffered no consequences from it. anyways, we humped for about 15 minutes before she said "im a squirter". i didnt really think much of it.
it happened a couple minutes later, felt awesome, then i came in her mouth and got up. thats when i looked in the mirror. from about nipple level down to mid theigh i was covered in what looked like watered down blood. with darker, thicker blood around my soldier. it made me get that face jim carrey gets in dumb and dumber, he sees harry kissing mary swanson. the gagging, near puke face. it was by far the nastiest sexual expirience i have ever had. i looked like i stood in front of the elevator from the shining. i dont know how it happened without me noticing. but apparently i did a mom, on her period, and she squirted bloody piss all over me. jesus christ.
this being said i would very much be down to have a young lass shoot her bloodless juice on me.
Oh my god. Winner.
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i have made one. it was not as good as it sounds. i will explain why.
i was at my friends girlfriends house for her birthday party. her mom was apparently some cougar who some dude i knew lost his virginity to a few years back. having always had a place in my heart for filthy tramps i was intrigued by the idea of taking her down. needless to say i was not prepared for the results.
i walked upstairs to find the mom sitting outside on the balcony, puffing on a virginia slim. i walked up to her and started talking, just the normal chit-chat. all of a sudden we kissed. then she started blowing me out there, overlooking broadway st. it was a beautiful thing. we went back into her bedroom and immediately got down to business. being slightly drunk, and i guess just out of habit i went in unwrapped. it was a bad move, but i suffered no consequences from it. anyways, we humped for about 15 minutes before she said "im a squirter". i didnt really think much of it.
it happened a couple minutes later, felt awesome, then i came in her mouth and got up. thats when i looked in the mirror. from about nipple level down to mid theigh i was covered in what looked like watered down blood. with darker, thicker blood around my soldier. it made me get that face jim carrey gets in dumb and dumber, he sees harry kissing mary swanson. the gagging, near puke face. it was by far the nastiest sexual expirience i have ever had. i looked like i stood in front of the elevator from the shining. i dont know how it happened without me noticing. but apparently i did a mom, on her period, and she squirted bloody piss all over me. jesus christ.
this being said i would very much be down to have a young lass shoot her bloodless juice on me.
holy fuck i want to be your friend. this thread is comedic GOLD.
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i have made one. it was not as good as it sounds. i will explain why.
i was at my friends girlfriends house for her birthday party. her mom was apparently some cougar who some dude i knew lost his virginity to a few years back. having always had a place in my heart for filthy tramps i was intrigued by the idea of taking her down. needless to say i was not prepared for the results.
i walked upstairs to find the mom sitting outside on the balcony, puffing on a virginia slim. i walked up to her and started talking, just the normal chit-chat. all of a sudden we kissed. then she started blowing me out there, overlooking broadway st. it was a beautiful thing. we went back into her bedroom and immediately got down to business. being slightly drunk, and i guess just out of habit i went in unwrapped. it was a bad move, but i suffered no consequences from it. anyways, we humped for about 15 minutes before she said "im a squirter". i didnt really think much of it.
it happened a couple minutes later, felt awesome, then i came in her mouth and got up. thats when i looked in the mirror. from about nipple level down to mid theigh i was covered in what looked like watered down blood. with darker, thicker blood around my soldier. it made me get that face jim carrey gets in dumb and dumber, he sees harry kissing mary swanson. the gagging, near puke face. it was by far the nastiest sexual expirience i have ever had. i looked like i stood in front of the elevator from the shining. i dont know how it happened without me noticing. but apparently i did a mom, on her period, and she squirted bloody piss all over me. jesus christ.
this being said i would very much be down to have a young lass shoot her bloodless juice on me.
+ motherfuckin' 1. Goddamn!
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i have made one. it was not as good as it sounds. i will explain why.
i was at my friends girlfriends house for her birthday party. her mom was apparently some cougar who some dude i knew lost his virginity to a few years back. having always had a place in my heart for filthy tramps i was intrigued by the idea of taking her down. needless to say i was not prepared for the results.
i walked upstairs to find the mom sitting outside on the balcony, puffing on a virginia slim. i walked up to her and started talking, just the normal chit-chat. all of a sudden we kissed. then she started blowing me out there, overlooking broadway st. it was a beautiful thing. we went back into her bedroom and immediately got down to business. being slightly drunk, and i guess just out of habit i went in unwrapped. it was a bad move, but i suffered no consequences from it. anyways, we humped for about 15 minutes before she said "im a squirter". i didnt really think much of it.
it happened a couple minutes later, felt awesome, then i came in her mouth and got up. thats when i looked in the mirror. from about nipple level down to mid theigh i was covered in what looked like watered down blood. with darker, thicker blood around my soldier. it made me get that face jim carrey gets in dumb and dumber, he sees harry kissing mary swanson. the gagging, near puke face. it was by far the nastiest sexual expirience i have ever had. i looked like i stood in front of the elevator from the shining. i dont know how it happened without me noticing. but apparently i did a mom, on her period, and she squirted bloody piss all over me. jesus christ.
this being said i would very much be down to have a young lass shoot her bloodless juice on me.
god what a fucking great story. alcohol and girls are the fucking best combo somehow.
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I was waiting for this thread to reach a Penthouse Forum level of fantasy storytelling.
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wow, nothing on the cougar blood gusher level but i've made a few squirt and it's always awkward in the same way it's awkward when they queef. lyou don't give a shit and think it's cool\funny but they get embarassed and overly apologetic. but the last time it happened the girl wanted me to finish her off in my mouth and she basically hosed me from dong to nipple during the position switch. it felt like getting gushed by a warm super soaker. definitely cool because you know they weren't fakin it though.