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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: rawbertson. on September 20, 2010, 12:44:13 PM

Title: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 20, 2010, 12:44:13 PM
went out with that girl on saturday, spent a ton on dinner and shit, we went back to my house,  i finger blasted her, then she said "i dont think i wanna do anything else i just wanna take it slow" then i drove her home. wtf!?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: nice weather on September 20, 2010, 12:49:09 PM
Lol, Macklin would've had her begging to teabag her while he was just watching tv in a sweatsuit.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Mein Fuhrer! I can walk! on September 20, 2010, 12:49:31 PM
(http://authenticsteroids.com/imgp/Rohypnol-1mg30tabs.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: FrenchFriedClownFingers on September 20, 2010, 12:56:19 PM
went out with that girl on saturday, spent a ton on dinner and shit, we went back to my house,  i finger blasted her, then she said "i dont think i wanna do anything else i just wanna take it slow" then i drove her home. wtf!?

Download a movie or two, go buy this

(http://blogs.citypages.com/ctg/md%202020%202jpg.jpg)

And what type of girl is she? I downloaded saw when it first dropped, 2 MD 2020's (they come in mad flavors so you cant go wrong) I was dating this preppy american eagle stuck up bitch, She never would let me fuck her in the ass, but after not even one of these md's she just let me slide it inside.

a good friend once told me "all women are hoes, you just gotta bring it out of them"

to a lesser extent.

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 20, 2010, 01:02:02 PM
it sucks cause i am blowing it in every aspect 24 / 7 and i really cant even complain, i am not one of those concentration camp kids or some heroin addicted preggo teen custy
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: FrenchFriedClownFingers on September 20, 2010, 01:21:59 PM
it sucks cause i am blowing it in every aspect 24 / 7 and i really cant even complain, i am not one of those concentration camp kids or some heroin addicted preggo teen custy

If you try to catch butterflies, they'll never come to you"

loneliness and fatigue breed fear- it is better not to trouble yourself with your own imaginings

You've known how to mac since day one. own that bitch and if it does not work, there's a million more just like her.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 20, 2010, 01:25:57 PM
Put in work for those titties rawb. Don't take one decline and roll over dead. Show this girl why she needs to blow you and you'll feel better.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: lamfordie on September 20, 2010, 01:32:55 PM
I know how you feel man, chicks are a confusing bunch.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Des Esseintes on September 20, 2010, 01:53:14 PM
All women have this weird complex where they don't want to feel like a slut.

Next time she pulls that shit on you just say 'okay', lay back and turn the telly back on.

If she doesn't try to turn the heat back on you can just masturbate later to the smell of your fingers.

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on September 20, 2010, 01:58:18 PM
If you are getting this worked up about it around her, you're done.  You have to be cool and "accept it".  She wanted to go slow THAT night.  Readjust and try again and she may be feeling differently later.  But don't fucking smother her ass.  Leave her alone and eventually she will come to you because she will be wondering what she did that is causing you to not put in as much time.  She will seriously wonder what is wrong with her.
Every time you are with her should be the dopest time ever, but you can't be with her ALL the time.  Be fucking unavailable.  Have shit to do.

This ain't hard man.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pugmaster on September 20, 2010, 02:00:49 PM
Yeah thats true they don't want to "feel" like the whore that they are.  More than likely you'll be doing her within the next couple of dates.  5 max.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: camel filters on September 20, 2010, 02:03:33 PM
ask her if titty fucking is within the confines of "taking it slow." if it is not, ask for the dinner money back or titty rape her.

EDIT: if her tits are non existent or small, disregard my advice. continue being a bitch and frustrated.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: acider on September 20, 2010, 02:37:51 PM
it's funny, i find that when a girl really likes me, she is less willing to give it up on the first date cause she doesn't want me to have "that" image of her.  whereas ive had experiences with really hot chicks, who could easily get a boyfriend if they wanted, that are down on the first night cause they don't care what you think about them, cause they don't really care about you. keep in mind there are a ton of factors that have nothing to with you, which play into women's decision making. if you were just looking for a one night thing with this chick that is kind of a bummer, but it's not worth blaming yourself over.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on September 20, 2010, 02:57:27 PM
fucking smother her ass.? 
(http://d3hqdt8j93rgvn.cloudfront.net/Image/MEDIUM_8a78c6e02140d931012142ff356f66a1.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on September 20, 2010, 03:04:58 PM
fucking smother her ass.? 
(http://d3hqdt8j93rgvn.cloudfront.net/Image/MEDIUM_8a78c6e02140d931012142ff356f66a1.jpg)

My roommate in college attempted to use some chocolate syrup with a girl and it was a squeeze bottle.  Somehow he squeezed to hard and popped the lid off, completely covering her.  Needless to say, she was not pleased.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: sweets on September 20, 2010, 03:18:41 PM
Ask her to pay next time because you're uncomfortable paying for her affection. It's the modern version of this:
The Door Test (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLqshL0WEk#ws)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Omamori on September 20, 2010, 03:29:35 PM
Jermaine stewart we don't have to take our clothes off. Top (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ID_N7rv-iN8#)

I know my morals on sex is not what most guys follow...but don't' worry she's not gonna fuck on the first date. Enjoy your time with her, if you can't don't waste your time. Sex isn't everything.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 20, 2010, 05:32:30 PM
selfish bitch. You worked that pussy and she didn't give you no love back? fuck that shit. If she was concerned about moving slow she wouldn't have let you stick your fingers in her pussy, that's just some lazy shit right there.
Either that or you made her feel like you were an alien prodding her and its over anyway.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: lem on September 20, 2010, 05:59:20 PM
Girl advice on slap is the greatest.

Just rape her. If you wear a mask you'll be good. It's probably a fantasy of hers anyway.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: StabMasterArson on September 20, 2010, 07:26:58 PM
If you're the type of dude who cries about his female problems on an internet forum, you're probably not getting any. Ever.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Pete on September 20, 2010, 07:36:24 PM
dont listen to em rawb you got this
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: ticklefingers on September 20, 2010, 09:58:08 PM
rawb, can you bump the last thread you made liike this... they're funny as shit
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: kanton kop killers on September 20, 2010, 10:01:34 PM
Ask her to pay next time because you're uncomfortable paying for her affection. It's the modern version of this:
The Door Test (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLqshL0WEk#ws)

thats a killer movie
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Bobbito on September 20, 2010, 10:23:32 PM
As hard as it is, let it go. Not worth it to stress a chick but I do see where you're coming from.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Prison Wallet on September 21, 2010, 06:08:01 AM
The secrete is making her think you could take it or leave it.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: grimcity on September 21, 2010, 07:50:38 AM
You should've jammed your fingerbangers into her nose then accepted a rain check.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on September 21, 2010, 08:05:52 AM
I really don't see what the problem is here.

You took a girl out for dinner then you got to finger bang her pussy. Sounds like a good night to me.

And now there is future options for cock banging her pussy.

So unless your only problem is that she didn't fuck you on your first date, then really there is no problem here.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: j....soy..... on September 21, 2010, 08:13:56 AM
my two cents is that you got the finger bang for free pretty much.....she really didn't want to do anything, but that seemed like the most minimal thing next to feeling her tits...which you better have done.....

anyone know if women actually enjoy it?

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 21, 2010, 08:50:06 AM
its a trap dont bite, she wants you to be her bf, or she wants to cock tease you for as long as she can, to make her self feel better Is this the girl you posted pics of a few weeks back, she was amazing
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Sleazy on September 21, 2010, 08:50:49 AM
seems like a lot of them aren't crazy about it
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Mackattack on September 21, 2010, 09:21:14 AM
Lol, Macklin would've had her begging to teabag her while he was just watching tv in a sweatsuit.

And thats after a 5 for 5 at Arby's and her sitting around watching me do wallies at the skatepark for 2 hours...

But really, Rawb... Should have used that fingerbang as a gateway to pussy feasting.

The world is yours if you get your pussy eating game on lock.
I suggest you also tounge her butthole briefly to make a more substantial impact.
And if the time finally comes when she lets you put it in her, you can get her off orally and then it doesnt matter if you fuck well or not. No pressure. Just get to the finish line at your own pace and get the victory nut.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on September 21, 2010, 10:07:57 AM
Lol, Macklin would've had her begging to teabag her while he was just watching tv in a sweatsuit.

And thats after a 5 for 5 at Arby's and her sitting around watching me do wallies at the skatepark for 2 hours...


And not talking to her or even making eye contact the whole time at the park.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 21, 2010, 04:54:24 PM
Ok ... I said I was bummed about not getting the hj. She said she would buy me dinner nexty time. She also said she doesn't have time for a bf but wants to keep hanging out with me, buy doesn't know whayt she wants in a relationship. I think I am going to keep trying for a month and if still nothing then let it go. And its the chick from the other thread

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on September 21, 2010, 05:25:23 PM
She's not feelin' it.  Move on, don't waste a month getting pissed.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on September 21, 2010, 05:44:24 PM
Ok ... I said I was bummed about not getting the hj. She said she would buy me dinner nexty time. She also said she doesn't have time for a bf but wants to keep hanging out with me, buy doesn't know whayt she wants in a relationship. I think I am going to keep trying for a month and if still nothing then let it go. And its the chick from the other thread



you should try, but not too hard. it really sounds like she's not diggin it. you said you were gonna ask here to be your gf after 2 dates, you tried going in for the kill after dating her for such a short time and now she's giving you the "i don't have time/i don't know what i want" routine. you shoulda done what Macklin said and gone for a tongue lashing if you were already down in her cavern. ease up on her, man. if she wants your throbbin lil rawb, she'll come askin for it. simple as that.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Magic Pizza on September 21, 2010, 06:02:32 PM
Did you use the pinch or the swirl?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: sweets on September 21, 2010, 06:19:04 PM
my two cents is that you got the finger bang for free pretty much.....she really didn't want to do anything, but that seemed like the most minimal thing next to feeling her tits...which you better have done.....

anyone know if women actually enjoy it?



It depends on the girl.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: ChileOrDie on September 21, 2010, 06:23:11 PM
Yes its always hard for me to commit moving my mouth to her pussy. i herd that sucking the clitoris is the key is that true ? !
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 22, 2010, 08:39:25 AM
kill her then rape her.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on September 22, 2010, 10:15:38 AM
It's not rape if she's dead.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 22, 2010, 10:29:02 AM
do u think if i write a killer rap for her i can turn this whole thing around?

i think i figured out what i need to do:

1. stop textin her
2. next few hang outs should be not at my place so i am not tryin to mack her, then she will see i am just bein a cool friend not only tryin to bang
3. dont spend another penny
4. get drunk before next time tryin to mack her

i really do like hanging out with her thuogh, but i couldnt really say how she is like that much better than any other girl i have ever been out with other than she actually likes a lot of the same shit i do as far as music and she even likes skate videos. i macked her after watching baker deathwish tour... i dont know any girls so that is probably why i am so desperate she can probably sense it from a mile away. i gotta chill out and hope i havent ruined it too much.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: grimcity on September 22, 2010, 10:34:32 AM
She's not feelin' it.  Move on, don't waste a month getting pissed.

This.

Tell her you'll be glad to be a FB friend or something, but you're more interested in a girl without any hangups. Tell her straight up you're too old to be playing games, and if you're not hooked up later down the road she can feel free to ring you up.

I tell you this in hopes that it will get you laid, by her. If not, you've at least cut the rope so you can focus on getting hooked up with a chick who is a bit more down... she sounds flakey man.

Edit: just saw your post... give the impression that she's wasting your time, but be nice and friendly about it. If she senses that you're pretty much over it, I think you'll get better odds.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 22, 2010, 11:25:24 AM
She's not feelin' it.  Move on, don't waste a month getting pissed.

This.

Tell her you'll be glad to be a FB friend or something, but you're more interested in a girl without any hangups. Tell her straight up you're too old to be playing games, and if you're not hooked up later down the road she can feel free to ring you up.

I tell you this in hopes that it will get you laid, by her. If not, you've at least cut the rope so you can focus on getting hooked up with a chick who is a bit more down... she sounds flakey man.

Edit: just saw your post... give the impression that she's wasting your time, but be nice and friendly about it. If she senses that you're pretty much over it, I think you'll get better odds.

that is pretty much what my best friend told me to do. its true though l am too old to be playin games.  i did tell her on sunday that i didnt think this was gonna work too well cause i was lookin for something a little more serious and mature in a relationship than this waiting around shit. she replied that she just wasnt sure what she wanted. so yeah thats kind of gay i mean i wish shed at least tell me what the fuck shes thinkin
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on September 22, 2010, 02:13:07 PM
I remember thinking that girls were fun to hang out with.  They aren't.  With the exception of my wife and a couple female cousins that are my age, I hate hanging out with girls.  Bo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ring.  I am cool when we do the whole couple thing, but I have zero interest in hanging out with a woman one-on-one.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on September 22, 2010, 02:30:22 PM
She's not feelin' it.  Move on, don't waste a month getting pissed.

This.

Tell her you'll be glad to be a FB friend or something, but you're more interested in a girl without any hangups. Tell her straight up you're too old to be playing games, and if you're not hooked up later down the road she can feel free to ring you up.

I tell you this in hopes that it will get you laid, by her. If not, you've at least cut the rope so you can focus on getting hooked up with a chick who is a bit more down... she sounds flakey man.

Edit: just saw your post... give the impression that she's wasting your time, but be nice and friendly about it. If she senses that you're pretty much over it, I think you'll get better odds.

that is pretty much what my best friend told me to do. its true though l am too old to be playin games.  i did tell her on sunday that i didnt think this was gonna work too well cause i was lookin for something a little more serious and mature in a relationship than this waiting around shit. she replied that she just wasnt sure what she wanted. so yeah thats kind of gay i mean i wish shed at least tell me what the fuck shes thinkin
I think you should leave it, if she doesnt tell you anything and pretend that something might happen it wont, so just leave her, there are others out there for you rawb.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Buddha on September 23, 2010, 12:59:22 AM
"that is pretty much what my best friend told me to do. its true though l am too old to be playin games.  i did tell her on sunday that i didnt think this was gonna work too well cause i was lookin for something a little more serious and mature in a relationship than this waiting around shit. she replied that she just wasnt sure what she wanted. so yeah thats kind of gay i mean i wish shed at least tell me what the fuck shes thinkin"

1) You're first mistake was taking her out to dinner, but you probably know that already.  Dinner dates play out more like boring job interviews, try something more casual next time and spend as little money as possible.  You can't buy your way into a womans vagina, it doesn't work like that.  Vagina tingles are generated by the dominance and aloofness of masculinity not money.  You said she would buy you dinner next time? Make her cook for you instead.  if she likes you, she will put in the effort.

2)Drop the "i want a long term relationship" stuff, she is not worthy of that yet and you have to make sure she knows that, make her qualify herself, be the selector.  If youre after a long term relationship, you have to make sure she is a good women and be unwavering with your standards. Otherwise you come off like a low value loser who is lucky to have anyone and this is bad.  Be advised you will be tested.  She will make you jump through hoops and pull shit on you to see if your manhood is up to snuff.  Never jump through a woman's hoops and never hesitate to call her on her bullshit, also learn the word "no".

3) For next time, deny HER sex, don't even kiss her, make sure she is worthy of your seed first.  Be in the psychological state that she is the one who would be lucky to fuck you..  She won't be expecting to be denied intimacy and this will allow you to re-frame and gain "hand".  Also, make yourself unavailable sporadically, don't contact her so much, it will get the hamster wheel in her hind brain spinning.

4) You are going to have to be dominant, aloof, in control and internally validated.  Understand that she has to submit to you if you want her to stick around.  If she does, no more skate videos, she shouldn't even know you skate, keep that world separate. And don't let her in your head so easily, be a lil more guarded.

Some of the basics:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/ (http://roissy.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/)


Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: camel filters on September 23, 2010, 07:46:55 AM
i joked around earlier about the titty raping and what not but in all seriousness, listen to someone that actually knows you (aka your friend) over any of these dudes here. they know your though patterns in real life better than we do. good luck. and if youre in the friend zone, GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. it is absolutely impossible to become friends with a woman you were into. none of your other relationships will ever work if you befriend her.

but then again, listen to your real friend.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 23, 2010, 08:04:35 AM
Rawb,
never  give a girl the upper hand, or you will be begging for sex forever. Treat her with respect, but don't let the bitch step all over you. YOuare too old to be playin' games with some insecure girl, I'd move on. I had a bitch play some shit to me a few weeks back, some prime ass pussy came to my house, got in my bed, naked, and woudlnt fuck me, well I never called that bitch agian, and I never answer her txts, bitch is into games, and men don't play games, unless they are for ps3  or xbox.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 23, 2010, 12:16:13 PM
do u think if i write a killer rap for her i can turn this whole thing around?

i think i figured out what i need to do:

1. stop textin her
2. next few hang outs should be not at my place so i am not tryin to mack her, then she will see i am just bein a cool friend not only tryin to bang
3. dont spend another penny
4. get drunk before next time tryin to mack her

i really do like hanging out with her thuogh, but i couldnt really say how she is like that much better than any other girl i have ever been out with other than she actually likes a lot of the same shit i do as far as music and she even likes skate videos. i macked her after watching baker deathwish tour... i dont know any girls so that is probably why i am so desperate she can probably sense it from a mile away. i gotta chill out and hope i havent ruined it too much.
Yes. Do this. Stop talking to her, and in a month or two, show up at her door wasted late at night and when she answers, just start rapping at her.
That's how Jay-z landed beyonce.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 23, 2010, 01:29:56 PM
do u think if i write a killer rap for her i can turn this whole thing around?

i think i figured out what i need to do:

1. stop textin her
2. next few hang outs should be not at my place so i am not tryin to mack her, then she will see i am just bein a cool friend not only tryin to bang
3. dont spend another penny
4. get drunk before next time tryin to mack her

i really do like hanging out with her thuogh, but i couldnt really say how she is like that much better than any other girl i have ever been out with other than she actually likes a lot of the same shit i do as far as music and she even likes skate videos. i macked her after watching baker deathwish tour... i dont know any girls so that is probably why i am so desperate she can probably sense it from a mile away. i gotta chill out and hope i havent ruined it too much.
Yes. Do this. Stop talking to her, and in a month or two, show up at her door wasted late at night and when she answers, just start raping rapping at her.
That's how Jay-z landed beyonce.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Latarian Milton on September 23, 2010, 05:31:00 PM
Get her comfortable around you, but not to the point where you end up in the friend zone. Once you're in the friend zone, it's a wrap.

Weed makes women horny under the right circumstances too, use that to your advantage if you must.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on September 23, 2010, 05:40:40 PM
do u think if i write a killer rap for her i can turn this whole thing around?

i think i figured out what i need to do:

1. stop textin her
2. next few hang outs should be not at my place so i am not tryin to mack her, then she will see i am just bein a cool friend not only tryin to bang
3. dont spend another penny
4. get drunk before next time tryin to mack her

i really do like hanging out with her thuogh, but i couldnt really say how she is like that much better than any other girl i have ever been out with other than she actually likes a lot of the same shit i do as far as music and she even likes skate videos. i macked her after watching baker deathwish tour... i dont know any girls so that is probably why i am so desperate she can probably sense it from a mile away. i gotta chill out and hope i havent ruined it too much.
Yes. Do this. Stop talking to her, and in a month or two, show up at her door wasted late at night and when she answers, just start rapping at her.
That's how Jay-z landed beyonce.

do this and this only. learn form Jiggaman and spit the hardest love rap ever. her panties will be creamin' once you're done with your romantic flow.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: weedpop on September 23, 2010, 07:04:55 PM
Rawb,
 bitch is into games, and men don't play games, unless they are for ps3  or xbox.

Brilliant.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 24, 2010, 09:37:49 AM
well I never called that bitch agian, and I never answer her txts

good call

i got a titty fuck last night for 100$ thats less than i spent on all those damn dates
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 24, 2010, 11:48:21 AM
The Price is Right losing horn (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A#)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on September 24, 2010, 04:49:51 PM
well I never called that bitch agian, and I never answer her txts

good call

i got a titty fuck last night for 100$ thats less than i spent on all those damn dates

what the hell? you paid 100 bucks for a tit fuck? c'mon rawb. you gotta step your game up. this bums me out that you gotta pay for sex, and it wasn't even vaginal. shit, it wasn't even anal. geez.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: grimcity on September 24, 2010, 07:01:05 PM
Well, if you're going to buy sex... unless her tits have bleeding ulcers, seems like that's probably the safest way of going about it.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: StabMasterArson on September 24, 2010, 07:04:21 PM
he probably is lying.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 24, 2010, 07:52:00 PM
he probably is lying.
Wow, that would be harsh. What type of person would lie about paying to titty fuck a hooker? He also overpaid. According to the book superfreakonomics, the average price to ass fuck a chicago hooker is about $96. Of course, the average woman in this sample set will also give a $6 discount for crack.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: snickers on September 25, 2010, 12:23:55 AM
Oh and this is the truth.

But really, Rawb... Should have used that fingerbang as a gateway to pussy feasting.

The world is yours if you get your pussy eating game on lock.
I suggest you also tounge her butthole briefly to make a more substantial impact.
And if the time finally comes when she lets you put it in her, you can get her off orally and then it doesnt matter if you fuck well or not. No pressure. Just get to the finish line at your own pace and get the victory nut.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: CigaretteBeer on September 25, 2010, 03:47:10 PM
Make sure to get her drunk and give her cocaine or MDMA if possible

Pull your cock out and wiggle it to this song
The Orange Alabaster Mushroom- Tree Pie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPlpsuEGj90#)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: MaryhillVibe on September 25, 2010, 06:29:48 PM
Maybe you need to improve your "finger blasting" technique.

Maybe she would have some advice for you in that department with regards the type of "blasting" she may or may not enjoy.

Open convo is the way to go.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 27, 2010, 12:07:56 PM
i fingerbanged her amazing there is no denying that, her pussy walls looked like the edges at pier 7 when i was done, i fucken broke her ovaries. she is just a greedy bitch suckin my resources but not my cock.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 27, 2010, 12:21:36 PM
I'd rather jack off with tiger balm as lube than pay for sex
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 27, 2010, 04:50:11 PM
i fingerbanged her amazing there is no denying that, her pussy walls looked like the edges at pier 7 when i was done, i fucken broke her ovaries. she is just a greedy bitch suckin my resources but not my cock.
Dude, softly, gently, its an organ massage, not a whack-a-mole.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on September 27, 2010, 04:59:16 PM
i fingerbanged her amazing there is no denying that, her pussy walls looked like the edges at pier 7 when i was done, i fucken broke her ovaries. she is just a greedy bitch suckin my resources but not my cock.
Dude, softly, gently, its an organ massage, not a whack-a-mole.

HAHAHAHA i just woke up my wife and kid
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: frisco on September 28, 2010, 12:41:08 AM
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs151.snc3/17859_294940983978_508078978_3316393_1824044_n.jpg)

get in that ass rawb
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: tough omelette on September 28, 2010, 12:52:26 AM
^in that situation i would ask to see the camera, walk over to the door and brb...
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 07:32:57 AM
i am back on fucking dating websites now
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Hercules Rockefeller on September 28, 2010, 07:57:55 AM
i am back on fucking dating websites now

you cannot possibly fuck a website. i tried and failed. miserably.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: dolphinstyle. on September 28, 2010, 08:15:53 AM
he probably is lying.
Wow, that would be harsh. What type of person would lie about paying to titty fuck a hooker? He also overpaid. According to the book superfreakonomics, the average price to ass fuck a chicago hooker is about $96. Of course, the average woman in this sample set will also give a $6 discount for crack.
is this part deux of freakonomics which was totally awesome? I need it yo
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on September 28, 2010, 08:42:42 AM
i fingerbanged her amazing there is no denying that, her pussy walls looked like the edges at pier 7 when i was done, i fucken broke her ovaries. she is just a greedy bitch suckin my resources but not my cock.
Dude, softly, gently, its an organ massage, not a whack-a-mole.

HAHAHAHA i just woke up my wife and kid

You should have a porn tab open so you can switch in a pinch. It'd be much more embarrassing to get caught on SLAP.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 28, 2010, 08:49:12 AM
i am back on fucking dating websites now
Unacceptable. Let's hear the titty fuck story instead now.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 09:16:18 AM
went to the rub and tug near my work, in canada as long as there is no penetration it is legal to get handjobs/titty fucks/armpit/fjs

the girl was black and she had a british accent and bad teeth. she claimed to be studying biology or some shit @ the University of Western Ontario, and she was doing this just for the money. i found that hard to believe, but she did a good job regardless. wouldnt go back tho.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 28, 2010, 09:24:05 AM
does she wear gloves?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 09:37:37 AM
no, they usually only wear gloves if they are goin into your ass hole. i found that out the hard way. i think they are supposed to wear gloves though. im pretty sure 1 time i got just a striaght tug with glove, kinda weak, might as well havea  condom on, never went back after that. also 1 time this asian woman sucked my cock at one of those 9with condom on) that was sketchyas fcuk though she couldnt even speak english
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 28, 2010, 10:04:08 AM
think about all the losers that have come in for tugs before you, you think she washes her hands? Shes a fuckin' tug shop gal.
 

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 11:06:34 AM
you know me, every time you kiss that ho you blow me, you blow trial, try to walk a mile in my saucony's

so ur probably eatin out bitches from the club with dried cum still attached to their labia dont hate on me get that rawbertson money and stick ur dick in the dirt
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 28, 2010, 11:13:11 AM
try to walk a mile in my saucony's
Wish I could. You have canadian adventures up there. I salute you.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 11:20:48 AM
you know i actually live pretty far south. id say at least 1/4 of the USA is more north than where I live.

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=kitchener,+ontario&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=34.259599,56.162109&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Kitchener,+Waterloo+Regional+Municipality,+Ontario,+Canada&ll=41.244772,-84.726562&spn=32.399122,56.162109&t=h&z=4 (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=kitchener,+ontario&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=34.259599,56.162109&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Kitchener,+Waterloo+Regional+Municipality,+Ontario,+Canada&ll=41.244772,-84.726562&spn=32.399122,56.162109&t=h&z=4)



but we still have tim horton's.

(http://gregpike.ca/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/tim_hortons.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: StabMasterArson on September 28, 2010, 11:29:47 AM
i am back on fucking dating websites now

This speaks volumes of your pathetic life.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 11:44:05 AM
tryin my best man, sorry i wasnt born as cool, successful and popular as you!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: StabMasterArson on September 28, 2010, 11:48:26 AM
You'd be better off taking home the rub and tug machine. Atleast she knows what she has to do to pay the bills. That, adds character.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 12:02:19 PM
no my mom doesnt like black people i swear. one time she asked me why i wasnt going out with ally any more and i said "she is goin out with a black dude now" and she got really bummed. after the black dude she came back to me, then she switched to an asian, so i am very confused about my dick size.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 28, 2010, 12:06:19 PM
so?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on September 28, 2010, 01:35:59 PM
i am very confused about my dick size.

My fuckin' goodness, dude. You are a living god of skate-related messageboarding amongst mere man-boys of skate-related messageboarding.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Magic Pizza on September 28, 2010, 05:33:23 PM
amen to that. a fuckin men.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 28, 2010, 07:06:47 PM
no, they usually only wear gloves if they are goin into your ass hole. i found that out the hard way. i think they are supposed to wear gloves though. im pretty sure 1 time i got just a striaght tug with glove, kinda weak, might as well havea  condom on, never went back after that. also 1 time this asian woman sucked my cock at one of those 9with condom on) that was sketchyas fcuk though she couldnt even speak english
First, let me say your past few posts have been some of the best ever.
Now, you've said a lot in this thread, so let's keep it honest- What did the rub and tug girl do to your asshole?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on September 28, 2010, 09:44:43 PM
you know me, every time you kiss that ho you blow me, you blow trial, try to walk a mile in my saucony's

so ur probably eatin out bitches from the club with dried cum still attached to their labia dont hate on me get that rawbertson money and stick ur dick in the dirt

hell yeah, rawb. droppin wu lyrics followed by raw rawb knowledge. so uplifting.

(and what did that girl do to your booty?)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 29, 2010, 10:00:00 AM
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Hola on September 29, 2010, 10:14:56 AM

you just waited until she eventually stopped fingering your asshole?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 29, 2010, 10:20:21 AM
rawb, you just won the internet.
Best story ever, and its not even in real confessions.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 29, 2010, 10:45:36 AM

you just waited until she eventually stopped fingering your asshole?

well she said it was gonna be good, i thought it was gonna be like that movie road trip or some shit
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 29, 2010, 10:51:13 AM
i am goin out with this chick on friday

(http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/75/45/t13zu5e2y4_101359585-2.jpg)

what does bbw mean?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Mackattack on September 29, 2010, 10:56:52 AM
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: dolphinstyle. on September 29, 2010, 11:02:05 AM
i am goin out with this chick on friday

(http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/75/45/t13zu5e2y4_101359585-2.jpg)

what does bbw mean?
BBW   Big Beautiful Women
BBW   Big Black Women
BBW   Beautiful Black Women
BBW   Bath & Body Works
BBW   Broadband Wireless
BBW   Big Bad Wolf
BBW   Buyer Beware
BBW   Brake-By-Wire
BBW   Big Bisexual Woman
BBW   Broken Bow, Nebraska (Airport Code)
BBW   Boston Beer Works (Boston, MA)
BBW   Brass Band World
BBW   Be Back Whenever
BBW   Baseball Writers Association of America
BBW   Business Building Workshop
BBW   Big Beached Whale
BBW   Bayrische Bohrerwerke (German: Bayrische Drill Works)
BBW   Balfour Beatty Workplace (London, England)

make your choice!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: FrenchFriedClownFingers on September 29, 2010, 01:34:09 PM
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".

Just reading that makes my Junk feel weird.

Only thing that comes to mind "you gotta pay that troll toll to get into this boys hole"

The ultimate reversal, Next time give her 100$ and a box of steak-ums and tell her you want the universal.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Human Onion on September 29, 2010, 02:32:31 PM
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".

This is gold!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: MyUserName on September 29, 2010, 02:43:20 PM
i am goin out with this chick on friday

(http://pics.plentyoffish.com/dating/75/45/t13zu5e2y4_101359585-2.jpg)

what does bbw mean?
BBW   Big Beautiful Women
BBW   Big Black Women
BBW   Beautiful Black Women
BBW   Bath & Body Works
BBW   Broadband Wireless
BBW   Big Bad Wolf
BBW   Buyer Beware
BBW   Brake-By-Wire
BBW   Big Bisexual Woman
BBW   Broken Bow, Nebraska (Airport Code)
BBW   Boston Beer Works (Boston, MA)
BBW   Brass Band World
BBW   Be Back Whenever
BBW   Baseball Writers Association of America
BBW   Business Building Workshop
BBW   Big Beached Whale
BBW   Bayrische Bohrerwerke (German: Bayrische Drill Works)
BBW   Balfour Beatty Workplace (London, England)

make your choice!

(http://nicoleirene.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/fingers_crossed.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on September 29, 2010, 04:02:27 PM
my god rawb. that's it, i'm re-friending you on facebook
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Prison Wallet on September 29, 2010, 04:46:57 PM
I still can't believe people on here actually wanted to ban Rawb.

Rawb you got any other good hooker stories?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on September 29, 2010, 04:59:38 PM
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".

Just reading that makes my Junk feel weird.

Only thing that comes to mind "you gotta pay that troll toll to get into this boys hole"

The ultimate reversal, Next time give her 100$ and a box of steak-ums and tell her you want the universal.

damn it you son-of-a-bitch, you stole my gif! haha, oh well.

(rawb, i want to here more of your sexcapades. this is very heartwarming and epic. very, very epic.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on September 29, 2010, 05:14:31 PM
yes give us more, best thread in a long time
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 29, 2010, 06:37:12 PM
MDRawbertson is my dude. Pound that chick. I want stories from this fucking date. My life's been slow lately(always).
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 30, 2010, 08:52:10 AM
i realized the other night that the reason she didnt jerk me was pure karma

i was on the dating website back in the winter ( i was still living at my parents house) and i was talkin to this girl for like 4 days adn we went to this place by my house I really like its a nice pub and the owner is only like 28 or so and i always bring decent looking girls in there and we talk about music and beer a lot.

anyway im waiting outside i just walked down she drove down and she gets out of the car and shes so fat... im like fuck... so i go in the owner dude was like "oh, hey" looked super awkward. so i got a philly cheesesteak and she copies me and she is disgusting to watch eat. i could hardly think of a thing to say to her. so at the end i am like fuck it ill pay and bounce then i have no reason to stay with her any longer, she grabs it before i can even and says "i got this".

so im like "fuck she must really want to please" so she is drivin me back home and my parents are gone for the weekend, i am just like fuck it i need to bust, so i invite her in, shes down. she weighs like 250 man im tellin you shes big. anyway we go into my basement dungeon and start makin out right away and i go to finger bang her and she says "nah i cant im on my period" so im like "damn". but shes like "yeah but that doesnt mean you dont get a treat" and she sucks my wang and i get to titty fuck her. then the next day i invite her over same deal, we didnt even really talk or hang out at all. i just pure titty fucked her all nigth.

then i just never talked to her again, she left shaun of the dead at my house i saw her on msn so i asked her if she wanted her movie back and she said shed rather never see me again
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 30, 2010, 08:59:42 AM
another time i was talkin to this girl on there and she looked mad hot and sounded super cool but she lived like an hour away so i was like hesitant to go meet her, anyway she talks me into it... so i go down there and this fucking dude answers the door... so im like "hey does samantha live here" and hes like "yeah yeah, shes here, come in" i go in there are 2 fat bitches sittin on the couch, look nothin like the pics. some super awkward convo goes down literally like 2 sentences tops... like "how was the drive" "good" "whats the weather like" "not bad", then i say "im gonna go make a run @ Tim's, anyone want anything?" and they gave me 5$ to get them stuff... i bounced back home.

the fuckin bitch messages me sayin she is gonna call the cops and shit, i spent that 5 up on a porn mag cause internet was down had to go home and jerk it.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Hercules Rockefeller on September 30, 2010, 10:01:31 AM
this thread is so damn amazing.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: camel filters on September 30, 2010, 10:10:01 AM
rawbertson, you are a dirty man who probably didnt deserve that girl who wouldnt put out. because she is a nice girl with a future to worry about.

with that said. i fully back you.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Krudler on September 30, 2010, 10:12:39 AM
Those last two stories were pretty great.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on September 30, 2010, 10:31:25 AM
Rawb, the uniter.

It's like story time at the library and we're all seated in a loose circle, legs crossed Indian-style, leaning forward, listening intently to every word that the story teller, Mr. Rawbertson, is reading aloud from his picture book of fat bitches he's boob-jobbed.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 30, 2010, 10:42:14 AM
this thread is really taking off, Rawb keep posting more internet dating sotries, you are on your way to classic slap.
p.s. the timmies run move was beyond street smart.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Reggie Nobles on September 30, 2010, 11:09:38 AM
Hahaha the tim's run had me dying
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 30, 2010, 12:06:00 PM
the first time i ever saw titties, i had this girlfriend for like half a year and she didnt do shit and she broke up with me. so year or so passes i was like 18 all my friends had already gotten laid like so long ago. i see her at a party we went to my parents' house after canada day fireworks and started makin out. i had taken off a girls bra once before but it took me like 15 min and she freaked out and put it back on i never got to see nothing... anyway i got it off the new girl and her tits looked like dog shit. she stops and she says "I want more than this" so i said "i have a condom" and she said "no thats not what i meant... i dont want to just fool around" and i said "do you want to be my girlfriend again?" and she says yeah that was what she meant. so we start making out and she was really psyched... she says "so do you want to get that condom out" im like convinced im finally gonna get laid.

so she puts it on i just lay down on the couch and she starts sucking my dick with the condom on, im drunk, needless to say it was shit. so then i said "i wanna put my dick between your tits". so i start titty fucking her with a condom on, but it sucks because 1. her tits look like cellulose pieces of shit and are too small and 2. i am wearing a fucking condom. she says something like "i dont have the best tits for this". and i said "yeah i just want to fuck you so bad" and she started crying and totally ruined the moment. she said "why do you have to say it like that". so i started fingerblasting her but that didnt help.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Hercules Rockefeller on September 30, 2010, 12:40:59 PM
and she started crying and totally ruined the moment. she said "why do you have to say it like that". so i started fingerblasting her but that didnt help.

i just laughed so hard, incredible. comedy gold right here.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 30, 2010, 01:36:10 PM
one thing that is clear, rawb loves to titty fuck a gal
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 30, 2010, 02:49:40 PM
Tim Horton's dip-out was pure genius. In a way, she did get you laid since you spent her cash on porn.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on September 30, 2010, 03:51:50 PM
there are a couple stories i want to say but they are just so pathetic and like i dont even know if theyd be worth telling like so many times a girl gives me a hand job and doesnt even finish and like shes almost there that shit pisses me off to no extent and i never have the balls to say anything.... i once knew a dude who jerked off in the girls bathroom after even so i guess im not the only one
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on September 30, 2010, 05:33:50 PM
rawb there are no words. other than i love you
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Prison Wallet on September 30, 2010, 05:41:36 PM
Dusty G delete that shit outta here... You've got no business posting in this thread.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: DustyGozongas on September 30, 2010, 05:48:07 PM
only because u have posted more than me and it makes u cooler  ::)...sarcasm.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on September 30, 2010, 05:48:53 PM
^kook'd
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on September 30, 2010, 06:39:42 PM
damn rawb, you've got us on the edge of our seats! i want some more titty-fucking and fingerblasting tales. don't hold back by thinking a story is too pathetic or weak. just let it out, man. we're all just in awe of your radness.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: DEDBBIS on October 01, 2010, 02:56:15 AM
Jesus, you've got some balls Rawb. Pulling this shit is one thing, but your willingness to share your tales is awesome.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 01, 2010, 05:28:20 AM
i just realized last night there has only been one girl that let me fuck her regularly in my whole life. she swallowed too i didnt even request it at all, but it was like her mission
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on October 01, 2010, 06:25:06 AM
your new mission is to seek her out get soem regular sex.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on October 01, 2010, 07:35:48 AM
I think it's time that this thread be moved to Full Gnar.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: j....soy..... on October 01, 2010, 08:18:32 AM
I'm too retarded to photoshop anything but if any of you have any free time.....can you do up a photo of like some fingers with lazers beams coming out...
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: jojo_fosho on October 01, 2010, 08:27:52 AM
SO glad I clicked on this thread
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 01, 2010, 09:35:09 AM
one time i was going out with this indian girl, fuck i would do like anything to get her back, she only weighed 92 pounds...  my god she was amazing... anyway she was kind of shy i had her down in the dungeon and i got her fully naked but she wouldnt really do anything i had to like physically put her hand on my dick to get her to jerk... anyway

1 time we went to a party i got realyl fuckin drunk and i think i accidently fingered her butt instead of her pussy, although she didnt seem to mind... the reason i think this is because it didnt seem as wet as normal. she was tryin to jerk me but had this fucked up ring or something, i jsut remember it being extremely painful and i had to get her to stop. shit was just so awkward after that night. i asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said ok, i tried to get my dick in but it did not work, i just kept mashing it up against her shit. i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again. we still talk and she is on that fucking dating website like every single day i see her online and she said she hasnt had time to go on any dates.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: grimcity on October 01, 2010, 12:02:14 PM
i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again.

Destined to become a classic thread. Rawb, you're doing the Lord's work.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on October 01, 2010, 12:44:13 PM
Rawb needs an epicly laterd episode. O'dell should just follow him around and document his conquests. My world is certainly a better place after hearing some of this shit.

i just realized last night there has only been one girl that let me fuck her regularly in my whole life. she swallowed too i didnt even request it at all, but it was like her mission
We need a picture of this chick.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: snickers on October 01, 2010, 12:45:44 PM
I think it's time that this thread be moved to Full Gnar.
I think it's time we let rawb into Full Gnar...
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: camel filters on October 01, 2010, 12:48:29 PM
one time i was going out with this indian girl, fuck i would do like anything to get her back, she only weighed 92 pounds...  my god she was amazing... anyway she was kind of shy i had her down in the dungeon and i got her fully naked but she wouldnt really do anything i had to like physically put her hand on my dick to get her to jerk... anyway

1 time we went to a party i got realyl fuckin drunk and i think i accidently fingered her butt instead of her pussy, although she didnt seem to mind... the reason i think this is because it didnt seem as wet as normal. she was tryin to jerk me but had this fucked up ring or something, i jsut remember it being extremely painful and i had to get her to stop. shit was just so awkward after that night. i asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said ok, i tried to get my dick in but it did not work, i just kept mashing it up against her shit. i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again. we still talk and she is on that fucking dating website like every single day i see her online and she said she hasnt had time to go on any dates.
when i become a pal my sole mission would be to get rawb back to positive rep. thank you for sharing this.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 01, 2010, 12:50:52 PM
one time i was going out with this indian girl, fuck i would do like anything to get her back, she only weighed 92 pounds...  my god she was amazing... anyway she was kind of shy i had her down in the dungeon and i got her fully naked but she wouldnt really do anything i had to like physically put her hand on my dick to get her to jerk... anyway

1 time we went to a party i got realyl fuckin drunk and i think i accidently fingered her butt instead of her pussy, although she didnt seem to mind... the reason i think this is because it didnt seem as wet as normal. she was tryin to jerk me but had this fucked up ring or something, i jsut remember it being extremely painful and i had to get her to stop. shit was just so awkward after that night. i asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said ok, i tried to get my dick in but it did not work, i just kept mashing it up against her shit. i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again. we still talk and she is on that fucking dating website like every single day i see her online and she said she hasnt had time to go on any dates.
when i become a pal my sole mission would be to get rawb back to positive rep. thank you for sharing this.
Agreed, dude have the gnarliest stories ever
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Magic Pizza on October 01, 2010, 02:53:29 PM
(http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y365/magic_pizza/Tard%20Loaf/RedDwarf.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on October 01, 2010, 04:02:56 PM
(http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y365/magic_pizza/Tard%20Loaf/RedDwarf.jpg)

This thread is now the best thing on slap!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on October 01, 2010, 05:40:40 PM
Hey Rawb, I just checked out that plenty of fish site, and I'd suggest switching to okcupid. there are way more attractive women on that site, and you can mack instantly. I hope this will give you more awesome stories to share with us.
 sincerely,
Goblinshark
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: frank on October 01, 2010, 06:58:41 PM
 fuck yeah, this rules and put a retarded smile on my face
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: BuddyPal on October 01, 2010, 07:40:18 PM
classic
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: MyUserName on October 01, 2010, 10:02:04 PM
rawb is so damn amazing.

Fixed.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on October 02, 2010, 10:17:37 AM
(http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y365/magic_pizza/Tard%20Loaf/RedDwarf.jpg)

As much as I love that other thread, I am not a lying man, this is truth.

Rawb, I had the same kind of experience with an Indian girl too. Vagina just all of a sudden went MIA, coupled with other unfortunate circumstances though. Either way, I'm glad we have this small connection.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Tyroneshoelaces on October 02, 2010, 10:37:53 AM
it speaks volumes about slap that rawb does not have +10,000 rep.   this thread is incredible and that MSN shaun of the dead messenger situation was the best thing i have ever read.  
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 02, 2010, 12:19:21 PM
(http://i1030.photobucket.com/albums/y365/magic_pizza/Tard%20Loaf/RedDwarf.jpg)

As much as I love that other thread, I am not a lying man, this is truth.

Rawb, I had the same kind of experience with an Indian girl too. Vagina just all of a sudden went MIA, coupled with other unfortunate circumstances though. Either way, I'm glad we have this small connection.
Hilarious LOL
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Mackattack on October 02, 2010, 02:42:15 PM
it speaks volumes about slap that rawb does not have +10,000 rep.   this thread is incredible and that MSN shaun of the dead messenger situation was the best thing i have ever read.  

It makes more sense at this point to pay your respects by kooking him.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: camel filters on October 02, 2010, 05:56:33 PM
Hey Rawb, I just checked out that plenty of fish site, and I'd suggest switching to okcupid. there are way more attractive women on that site, and you can mack instantly. I hope this will give you more awesome stories to share with us.
 sincerely,
Goblinshark
no. apparently whatever rawb is doing is working wonders based on his stories. dudes living an awesome life.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 02, 2010, 07:45:42 PM
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on October 02, 2010, 07:55:36 PM
This is amazing. I have never laughed so hard from a thread. I actually am not even laughing at you rawb, more with you than anything. Your sexual misadventures are amazing, you are an everyman hero like Bukowski or that American Splendor guy. I thought your raps were dumb, but fucking god damn these stories are amazing.
At least with that one chick you got a dvd out of the crushing blow to your ego.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on October 02, 2010, 09:02:39 PM
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 

I died.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Prison Wallet on October 02, 2010, 10:28:04 PM
Rawb you gotta up your confidence with chicks. Offered a bj, asked to t-f her, then settled for a hj? Come on now. Did she even use lotion or just raw dog it? You earned that bj, rode your bike across town for that shit.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 02, 2010, 10:49:52 PM
i know man but at that point i was just dyin for ANYTHING kinda like right now... the fat chick emailed me sayin she is excited to meet me so hopefully she turns out to be decent... i can take a bit fat, but not like obese brutal unhealthy
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: camel filters on October 03, 2010, 04:34:10 AM
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 
trying to trade sex stories with you is like David trying to butt fuck Goliath but Ive got a fucked up/sad/awesome hj story from my innocent times. in middle school, I was an animal that wanted to squirt man juice more than catching pokemons so i solicited a black girl that got in fights with all the other girls into giving me a tuggie in the bathroom. she was going at it and it was bliss untill a sharp sting was felt at the dick vessels. apparently, she jerked it so hard that she ruptured one of the veins and blood was acting as a natural tug lube. i freaked out and pushed her so she hit her head on the urinal. she was now bleeding also. we were both confused and scared of consequences so we agreed to never let out what happened. it was a shitty deal since she got a band aid telling the nurse she hit her head during break while i had to rap my piece with my tightie whities and bleed my shameful blood. luckily the vessel healed and i am still in business.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 03, 2010, 04:43:02 AM
This is amazing. I have never laughed so hard from a thread. I actually am not even laughing at you rawb, more with you than anything. Your sexual misadventures are amazing, you are an everyman hero like Bukowski or that American Splendor guy. I thought your raps were dumb, but fucking god damn these stories are amazing.
At least with that one chick you got a dvd out of the crushing blow to your ego.
I would give anything to read the Canadian splendor, not so sure about a movie about it tho
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Tyroneshoelaces on October 03, 2010, 04:44:28 AM

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.


seriously one of the greatest things i have ever read.  my life is better because you exist.  sig'ed
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 03, 2010, 06:18:39 AM
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 
trying to trade sex stories with you is like David trying to butt fuck Goliath but Ive got a fucked up/sad/awesome hj story from my innocent times. in middle school, I was an animal that wanted to squirt man juice more than catching pokemons so i solicited a black girl that got in fights with all the other girls into giving me a tuggie in the bathroom. she was going at it and it was bliss untill a sharp sting was felt at the dick vessels. apparently, she jerked it so hard that she ruptured one of the veins and blood was acting as a natural tug lube. i freaked out and pushed her so she hit her head on the urinal. she was now bleeding also. we were both confused and scared of consequences so we agreed to never let out what happened. it was a shitty deal since she got a band aid telling the nurse she hit her head during break while i had to rap my piece with my tightie whities and bleed my shameful blood. luckily the vessel healed and i am still in business.

holy fuck!!! i would have been freaking! after i fucked around with that indian chick that hurt my dick with the ring i couldnt even jerk off for like a few days, also there was all this weird goo like substance which was probably pussy juice and a lot of long strands of hair all tucked in so i like slept with all that shit just chilling
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on October 03, 2010, 09:45:16 AM
Ok, that urinal story just reminded me of one.

Back in 1999 I was in the Air Force and hanging out at this lame bar on base.  I had just walked in and this girl who worked in another section walks right up and asks if I am with anyone.  I replied that I wasn't and she said "Well come with me back to my room."  While we are walking up the stairs I can clearly see that she is way past drunk, so I decide to just make sure she gets to her room and head back.  She is super drunk and doing the whole mumbling thing as she is trying to get her keys, so I get her keys and open her room up and she walks in and goes to flop on the bed and she kinda misses it and bounces off the corner and goes face first into a nightstand.  She is knocked out cold and blood is just gushing out of her face.  I panic and sit her up and she is just mumbling and doesn't feel a thing.  I had no idea what to do, so I went to the next room over where her supervisor was staying.  Right before I knocked on his door I look at my hand and since I was a plane mechanic, my hands were just beat to shit, and I started wondering if he would think I hit her.  He answers and I give him a very brief rundown and his response was, "Shit, again?"  She had apparently done this sorta thing before.  We went back and she was just kinda sitting there all bloody and touching her lip and crying.  He took care of it from there.  I saw her a few days later, back at the bar.  She had knocked out a couple teeth and her face was just wrecked.  She came up to me and apologized and bought me a beer. 
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Hercules Rockefeller on October 03, 2010, 10:02:03 AM
Ok, that urinal story just reminded me of one.

Back in 1999 I was in the Air Force and hanging out at this lame bar on base.  I had just walked in and this girl who worked in another section walks right up and asks if I am with anyone.  I replied that I wasn't and she said "Well come with me back to my room."  While we are walking up the stairs I can clearly see that she is way past drunk, so I decide to just make sure she gets to her room and head back.  She is super drunk and doing the whole mumbling thing as she is trying to get her keys, so I get her keys and open her room up and she walks in and goes to flop on the bed and she kinda misses it and bounces off the corner and goes face first into a nightstand.  She is knocked out cold and blood is just gushing out of her face.  I panic and sit her up and she is just mumbling and doesn't feel a thing.  I had no idea what to do, so I went to the next room over where her supervisor was staying.  Right before I knocked on his door I look at my hand and since I was a plane mechanic, my hands were just beat to shit, and I started wondering if he would think I hit her.  He answers and I give him a very brief rundown and his response was, "Shit, again?"  She had apparently done this sorta thing before.  We went back and she was just kinda sitting there all bloody and touching her lip and crying.  He took care of it from there.  I saw her a few days later, back at the bar.  She had knocked out a couple teeth and her face was just wrecked.  She came up to me and apologized and bought me a beer. 

rawb would have talked her into giving him a bloody handjob first haha
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: HATE! on October 03, 2010, 11:07:48 AM
Hahaha!!  And something weird would have gone down with the supervisor.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on October 03, 2010, 12:19:05 PM
Ok, that urinal story just reminded me of one.

Back in 1999 I was in the Air Force and hanging out at this lame bar on base.  I had just walked in and this girl who worked in another section walks right up and asks if I am with anyone.  I replied that I wasn't and she said "Well come with me back to my room."  While we are walking up the stairs I can clearly see that she is way past drunk, so I decide to just make sure she gets to her room and head back.  She is super drunk and doing the whole mumbling thing as she is trying to get her keys, so I get her keys and open her room up and she walks in and goes to flop on the bed and she kinda misses it and bounces off the corner and goes face first into a nightstand.  She is knocked out cold and blood is just gushing out of her face.  I panic and sit her up and she is just mumbling and doesn't feel a thing.  I had no idea what to do, so I went to the next room over where her supervisor was staying.  Right before I knocked on his door I look at my hand and since I was a plane mechanic, my hands were just beat to shit, and I started wondering if he would think I hit her.  He answers and I give him a very brief rundown and his response was, "Shit, again?"  She had apparently done this sorta thing before.  We went back and she was just kinda sitting there all bloody and touching her lip and crying.  He took care of it from there.  I saw her a few days later, back at the bar.  She had knocked out a couple teeth and her face was just wrecked.  She came up to me and apologized and bought me a beer. 

I was going to say, I'm pretty surprised she remembered you after that episode. But then again, your eyes are pretty unforgettable.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 07, 2010, 02:54:47 PM
Give us more Rawb
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on October 07, 2010, 03:11:11 PM
Give us more Rawb

Yeaaah, what happened with your date?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 08, 2010, 04:43:53 AM
i stilll havent went yet... she said saturday we can hang out and watch a movie at her apartment. her pics never show her titties, if she has small titties and she is fat ill be pissed
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on October 08, 2010, 04:50:27 AM
i stilll havent went yet... she said saturday we can hang out and watch a movie at her apartment. her pics never show her titties, if she has small titties and she is fat ill be pissed
That's a rarity but it does happen. The pear shape, but none of the goods. Be careful of that my friend.

How do we get one of those gizmodo live blog things? Rawb can you give us minute by minute posts just in case my Saturday sucks (it probably will).
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 08, 2010, 05:40:38 AM
i stilll havent went yet... she said saturday we can hang out and watch a movie at her apartment. her pics never show her titties, if she has small titties and she is fat ill be pissed
That's a rarity but it does happen. The pear shape, but none of the goods. Be careful of that my friend.

How do we get one of those gizmodo live blog things? Rawb can you give us minute by minute posts just in case my Saturday sucks (it probably will).
Yes please do that, my saturday will suck so do it
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 08, 2010, 07:36:18 AM
the only important part is if i get to bust a nut on her gut
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Inbred Jed on October 08, 2010, 09:06:27 AM
Amen
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 10, 2010, 11:21:22 AM
fuckin bitch said she fell at work and couldnt come out, FUCK that is a GAME fuck you and your fatness i slam 90 and i dont fucking bail out
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on October 10, 2010, 01:07:07 PM
damn. she sounds like she's a big one. Only old people and really fat people get taken out by a simple fall to the ground. How far did she fall?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 11, 2010, 02:48:03 AM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on October 11, 2010, 03:54:45 AM
...remember when some assholes on here were crying to mods to ban this poet? Not one of them have ever made a post half as amazing as that one. He's not even trying.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: RobDyrdek on October 11, 2010, 05:51:56 AM
Yo man i suggest you Fucc that bitch asafp
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: j....soy..... on October 11, 2010, 08:33:22 AM
fuckin bitch said she fell at work and couldnt come out, FUCK that is a GAME fuck you and your fatness i slam 90 and i dont fucking bail out

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3IQTjOMewg#)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Inbred Jed on October 11, 2010, 08:53:32 AM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on October 11, 2010, 02:52:50 PM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.



Amazing.

Sig'd. Thanks, Rawb.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on October 11, 2010, 03:11:56 PM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.



Amazing.

Sig'd. Thanks, Rawb.

FFFFUUUUUUU
you beat me to it! i even opened up the "reply" page in a new tab

rawb i love you
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Schteven on October 11, 2010, 03:50:21 PM
Oooh baby I like it Raaawwwwb
Oooh baby I like it Raaawwwwb
 (nohomo)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on October 11, 2010, 04:18:42 PM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.
Did you offer your BBW some red lobster? She might have toughed it out for some cheddar biscuits.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on October 11, 2010, 08:14:33 PM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.



Amazing.

Sig'd. Thanks, Rawb.

FFFFUUUUUUU
you beat me to it! i even opened up the "reply" page in a new tab

rawb i love you

Sorry, man. I was in need. It was either that or the first sentence, which is also great.

Flat ground slam.

Once, while loitering drunk at MIT, some super fat lady gave my friends and I free sandwiches. We were really psyched. Approximately 90 seconds later, she ate shit just walking as we were passing her by. Oh, we tried and tried to contain ourselves, but one homie's capacitor was malfunctioning and he exploded like a kettle whistling with the deepest laughter imaginable. That, of course, was all that the rest of us could handle and so we stood there, laughing like maniacs at a fat woman's flat ground slam mere moments after she had given us sandwiches. Total assholes.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on October 11, 2010, 08:37:44 PM
and so we stood there, laughing like maniacs at a fat woman's flat ground slam mere moments after she had given us sandwiches.

sig'd
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Monty Burns on October 11, 2010, 08:50:55 PM
Rawbertsons Wonderful Horrible Life ( RWHL ) ?.

On some PJ Ladd shit right there ,coming out of nowhere with life style bangers  .
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Tyroneshoelaces on October 11, 2010, 09:17:02 PM
Rawbertsons Wonderful Horrible Life ( RWHL ) ?.

On some PJ Ladd shit right there ,coming out of nowhere with life style bangers  .

haha!  even better maybe because i don't have to look at that Southie moron
that line about your grandmother bailing on a 4 set and going to red lobster was another one of the greatest things i have ever read.

Rawb make a book like that "A million little pieces" novel, but we all know you can back it up 110%.   a million little posts.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 12, 2010, 09:26:57 AM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.
Did you offer your BBW some red lobster? She might have toughed it out for some cheddar biscuits.

i cant justify dropping that kind of dough on a ho after last time, i need to drop actual dough like a baker then maybe she'll open that hole
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 12, 2010, 12:35:12 PM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.
Did you offer your BBW some red lobster? She might have toughed it out for some cheddar biscuits.

i cant justify dropping that kind of dough on a ho after last time, i need to drop actual dough like a baker then maybe she'll open that hole
HAHAHAHA
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Monty Burns on October 12, 2010, 12:41:27 PM
to me it sounds like it was just a flat ground slam, if it was down a 2 block or something id have a little more sympathy. i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after. stupid cleaning lady waxed the fuck out of the floors and grams had new socks on.
Did you offer your BBW some red lobster? She might have toughed it out for some cheddar biscuits.

i cant justify dropping that kind of dough on a ho after last time, i need to drop actual dough like a baker then maybe she'll open that hole

fucking hell man , you need to set up a paypall acount or something so I can buy you a beer
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on October 12, 2010, 01:32:03 PM
Rawb's like the nerd in Can't Hardly Wait. At first, people clown on him endlessly, then after rapping shirtless at the house-party-of-the-year about a skateboard website and various ho-related issues, he blossoms into a double flippin' Based God figure. Bitches flocking is the next logical step.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on October 13, 2010, 04:49:45 AM
I'm hoping somehow we can get Rawb on a reality show. Either next year's Jersey Shore, or maybe his own Rawb North America Tour. The world needs to hear your stories.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on October 13, 2010, 11:16:12 AM
I'm hoping somehow we can get Rawb on a reality show. Either next year's Jersey Shore, or maybe his own Rawb North America Tour. The world needs to hear your stories.
he should have his own show where he is looking for a chill obese girl that he can tittyfuck
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 13, 2010, 12:28:02 PM
i have a cam i just dont have a filmer i should take a trip up to different pals houses and they can film me chilling

when i fingerblasted that chick from a few weeks ago she saw my cam and the 3ccd thing is always reflective and she was like "is that on?" and i was like no the battery isnt even in it... she was like "oh guys with cameras always creep me out" like fuck as if id leave the shit out in the open like that if i were tryin to voyeur
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: DEDBBIS on October 13, 2010, 05:50:23 PM
i have a cam i just dont have a filmer i should take a trip up to different pals houses and they can film me chilling

when i fingerblasted that chick from a few weeks ago she saw my cam and the 3ccd thing is always reflective and she was like "is that on?" and i was like no the battery isnt even in it... she was like "oh guys with cameras always creep me out" like fuck as if id leave the shit out in the open like that if i were tryin to voyeur
You should start your own candid camera-style show where you hide a camera in your room and point out the blinking red light once you're massaging that cervix.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: the whompler on October 18, 2010, 01:49:39 AM
keep trying bud. you'll do fine
http://www.banthis.com/videos/2251/Amazing-Biker-Recovery.html (http://www.banthis.com/videos/2251/Amazing-Biker-Recovery.html)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on October 18, 2010, 12:07:44 PM
so what is the logical next step now for me to get the best tittyfuck and also spending the least amount of money?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on November 02, 2010, 09:57:00 AM
i went on plenty of fish again, i got some emails from some decent girls, i wish i wasnt at owrk so i could post, there is this one that is actually really fucking hot on that ok cupid and she actually messaged me but i probably blew it in my re-message

so anyway on plent of fish this fucking disgusting ass girl writes me a message (and trust me girls never write me messages) and i write her back and she says "add me to msn [email protected]" or something like that, lol. anyway she lives in this small ass town like 30 min away and like maybe 2 lines into the conversation she says "we should hang out sometime" then maybe 2 more lines int othe convo she says "i have this idea lets watch paranormal activity 2 then hang out after" then "what are you doing tonight"

she is just dyin to fuck, i am playing settlers tonight so fuck that, i might just go hit it, i dont know im just so jonsed but she looks like dog shit. in high school we had this ex convict who was apparently reformed come in and talk to our law class and he said "a hole is a hole and a pair of lips is a pair of lips".  there is this normal lookin chick who said she wants to hang out with me next week.

 is that greasy if im banging this baneling then switching up next week to the normal one? the gross chick probs doesnt care if i bang her once then bounce cause she is getting to bang rawb (a self proclaimed celebrity) and to her i am probably next level
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on November 02, 2010, 10:31:40 AM
Haha, getting taste reccomendations from the ex convict who came to school to threaten you.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Choad Muskrat on November 02, 2010, 11:29:14 AM
Haha, getting taste reccomendations from the ex convict who came to school to threaten you.

There was a janitor in my highschool that had '69' tatooed on the inside of his lower lip and he would go up to chicks in the halls and do that 2 finger pussy licking gesture while pulling down his lower lip to show the tat.

I have no idea how he didn't get fired.



Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on November 02, 2010, 11:50:26 AM
the gross chick probs doesnt care if i bang her once then bounce cause she is getting to bang rawb (a self proclaimed celebrity) and to her i am probably next level
That's god damn right. Post a pic and we'll rate her later. We won't steer you wrong.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Inbred Jed on November 02, 2010, 01:28:31 PM
What is Settlers? Some kins of wagon train LARP shit?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on November 02, 2010, 09:25:46 PM
What is Settlers? Some kins of wagon train LARP shit?

I hope so, that was the line that had me gasping.

At my old job at a bowling alley, we had a new mechanic for the summer; a husky dude from New Jersey who claimed many amazing sexual conquests and acted like his dick was the Covenant. He once told me that all you need to look for is a "warm, moist hole." I asked him if he'd fuck a dude then and he stomped off.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: ice nine on November 02, 2010, 09:46:09 PM
(http://www.toy-tma.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/settlers-of-catan-board-game.jpg)
(http://photos3.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/8/b/7/e/highres_3215710.jpeg)
(http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/People-playing-Settler-settlers-of-catan-521910_1024_768.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on November 12, 2010, 04:56:33 AM
i went on plenty of fish again, i got some emails from some decent girls, i wish i wasnt at owrk so i could post, there is this one that is actually really fucking hot on that ok cupid and she actually messaged me but i probably blew it in my re-message

so anyway on plent of fish this fucking disgusting ass girl writes me a message (and trust me girls never write me messages) and i write her back and she says "add me to msn [email protected]" or something like that, lol. anyway she lives in this small ass town like 30 min away and like maybe 2 lines into the conversation she says "we should hang out sometime" then maybe 2 more lines int othe convo she says "i have this idea lets watch paranormal activity 2 then hang out after" then "what are you doing tonight"

she is just dyin to fuck, i am playing settlers tonight so fuck that, i might just go hit it, i dont know im just so jonsed but she looks like dog shit. in high school we had this ex convict who was apparently reformed come in and talk to our law class and he said "a hole is a hole and a pair of lips is a pair of lips".?  there is this normal lookin chick who said she wants to hang out with me next week.

 is that greasy if im banging this baneling then switching up next week to the normal one? the gross chick probs doesnt care if i bang her once then bounce cause she is getting to bang rawb (a self proclaimed celebrity) and to her i am probably next level
It's Friday. It's a balmy 47 degrees in my area. That means it's time to hear more rawb online dating adventures. So tell me sport, how's the fishing trip been this week?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on November 12, 2010, 05:03:46 AM
yeah rawby, you baneling busted any ass recently?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: S. Samyro on November 20, 2010, 09:57:01 PM
Someone find me some pictures of Rawb. I want to do something with them.

(not jack off to them)

(maybe)

(no homo)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on December 01, 2010, 01:05:33 PM
I wasn't regularly coming to Slap for awhile, but thanks to a slow day at work just had the chance to read this thread front to back. One of the funniest threads I can remember in my Slap history.

Rawb, this shit is bumped like the many many cervixes you have bumped into oblivion with your finger blasting prowess.

Please don't leave us just hangin'. The fat chick with small tits?! The gross Harry Potter chick?! The normal looking chick?!

We need to know.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Mackattack on December 01, 2010, 07:23:27 PM
(http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/People-playing-Settler-settlers-of-catan-521910_1024_768.jpg)

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS_8I90VdJY#)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: RipGrip on December 01, 2010, 08:35:49 PM
epic. we at least need a 'day in the life'
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on December 02, 2010, 12:39:12 AM
RipGrip you need to make a Rawb sculpture. Fuckin microphone and a blunt in one hand, knuckle deep fingerblastin with the other, glasses all hittin the ground after landing a v-heel and shit.

You know how many of those you could sell on Slap?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on December 02, 2010, 03:38:52 AM
RipGrip you need to make a Rawb sculpture. Fuckin microphone and a blunt in one hand, knuckle deep fingerblastin with the other, glasses all hittin the ground after landing a v-heel and shit.

You know how many of those you could sell on Slap?
millions
.......
any new story's rawb ??
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 02, 2010, 09:09:23 AM
fuck lately has just been fucked.

i went to the dog park and met this girl off plenty of fish. she had this awesome golden retriever just like mine but a little smaller. i said "i miss school, i love how you can just take a day off if you arent feeling it" and she is like "well i dont take days off because of that" and just general bitchyness eventually led to her being very opinionated and pissed me off cause it was cold out.

then she says "you dont smoke weed do you?" and i was like "no, of course not" and shes like "ok good, cause that is a deal breaker. im in college to become a cop". convo went really awkward from there and we parted ways she seemed to want to meet again. i went on msn and she was on sayin whats up hey doll all this kitten shit, then i just said "you know what its not that i care about the weed thing i just fuckin hate cops" and block+delete.


there is this MDMA friend i have, last weekend he did MDMA, mushrooms, and acid all at once and staye dup for 3 days straight. he was acting really fucked up about a year ago like the dude who took too much acid on slc punk but now he seems fine which is weird because he seems to be doing more drugs than ever.


he lives with these korean pro gamers they are amzing at sc2 but pro for wow specifically (just platinum league in sc2 ) and they were also tripping and this Harvey's employee chick came over and was listening to me play guitar. then we sung the night they drove old dixie down toghether. she is fat but has big titties, but she is short so she doesnt seem as fat.  anyway so we part ways i came back to MDMA's last fiday she was there and i told her her hair looked nice she got it dyed or whatever and she was SUPER diggin me, but i didnt get a chance to get alone with her. she seemed so impressed that i have a car. i think its a done deal but i have this weird thing on my dick at the base its like a zit or something FUCK
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Inbred Jed on December 02, 2010, 09:25:03 AM
thank you
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Insatiable on December 02, 2010, 09:54:37 AM
then she says "you dont smoke weed do you?" and i was like "no, of course not" and shes like "ok good, cause that is a deal breaker. im in college to become a cop". convo went really awkward from there and we parted ways she seemed to want to meet again. i went on msn and she was on sayin whats up hey doll all this kitten shit, then i just said "you know what its not that i care about the weed thing i just fuckin hate cops" and block+delete.
That is nothing short of a boss maneuver.  Breaking future cops' hearts has got to feel so good.  Fuck the police.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: strangefires on December 02, 2010, 12:20:40 PM
thank you rawbertson
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pmatute on December 02, 2010, 01:33:46 PM
Made my day.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on December 02, 2010, 03:05:23 PM
i think its a done deal but i have this weird thing on my dick at the base its like a zit or something FUCK


Happens to the best of us Rawb. Pop that shit, it'll go away in time for you to titty fuck the short fatty with the tits.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Tale Crab on December 02, 2010, 03:09:58 PM
"you know what its not that i care about the weed thing i just fuckin hate cops" and block+delete.
I nearly choked.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on December 02, 2010, 10:06:05 PM
holy shit, rawb has a dick zit! thanks for the great update, man.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: jalopy james on December 02, 2010, 10:17:18 PM
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jREUrbGGrgM&feature=fvst#)

good form, rawb.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 02, 2010, 10:43:07 PM
Rawb is down with all sorts of nasty fat chicks, but when it comes to a police chick, he draws the line.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: j....soy..... on December 02, 2010, 10:50:42 PM
i turned off avatars cause shit was too slow....wake me up when someone makes one with lazers shooting out of a finger with the word 'BLASTOISE' below it....
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: kilgore. on December 02, 2010, 10:58:21 PM
get this man on Howard Stern ASAP.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: mandibleclaw on December 03, 2010, 01:08:47 AM
i turned off avatars cause shit was too slow....wake me up when someone makes one with lazers shooting out of a finger with the word 'BLASTOISE' below it....

you're welcome
(http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/8217/blastoise1.gif)

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on December 03, 2010, 07:49:04 AM
Fuck, rawb seriously has kept it real.
I had a dick zit once rawb, i went and showed my doctor in a panic, and he was like, "no worries bro, its a dick zit, wear a condom when you fuck sluts, brah"
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 03, 2010, 08:31:08 AM
i was worried it might be stds but i have been eating a lot of mcdonalds. it seems to be going away. i only ever banged 1 girl without a condom anyway and she was my girlfriend for like a year im pretty sure i would have already died cause that was a few years ago now. although can you get shit from a girl suckin your dick raw? one time the worst worst girl ever sucked my dick for like 2 seconds, but that was like 3 or 4 years ago. i always felt this horrible feeling like i might be giving my girlfriend aids but im pretty sure she would have been dead already, she was weak.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on December 03, 2010, 08:49:04 AM
im sure you are fine.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on December 03, 2010, 09:38:43 AM
i was worried it might be stds but i have been eating a lot of mcdonalds. it seems to be going away. i only ever banged 1 girl without a condom anyway and she was my girlfriend for like a year im pretty sure i would have already died cause that was a few years ago now. although can you get shit from a girl suckin your dick raw? one time the worst worst girl ever sucked my dick for like 2 seconds, but that was like 3 or 4 years ago. i always felt this horrible feeling like i might be giving my girlfriend aids but im pretty sure she would have been dead already, she was weak.

Where do I even begin? This is incredible, indescribable to anyone outside of SLAP. FYI, you can get STDs from mouth-to-mushroom tip, but not from McD's. Although I'm not sure what they're doing up in Canada, can't be worse than the ones in the U.S. They're banning Happy Meals over here.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on December 03, 2010, 09:40:41 AM
i always felt this horrible feeling like i might be giving my girlfriend aids but im pretty sure she would have been dead already, she was weak.
Only the strong survive in this world. It's your world buddy. Nicely done.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 03, 2010, 10:04:02 AM
yeah i heard u cant get aids from a girl suckin ur dick but u can get herps and shit like that, i dont even really know what STDs are i have looked them up but you dont learn anything off wikipedia, its like trying to learn about starcraft from newbs. i dotn know anyone that has one or have even heard about anyone that has one through rumourmill, but my friend also said that our city has a super high STD rate, doesnt make any sense to me.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on December 03, 2010, 11:04:29 AM
Rawb, definitely go down to your local clinic and pick up a brochure. Don't wind up like Billy Waldeman.

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynkrIE7q_Wg#)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 03, 2010, 11:39:43 AM
yeah but that shit was all mad years ago i probably would haev noticed by now if i got something right?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: strangefires on December 03, 2010, 11:42:39 AM
in all likelihood, you probably carry some kind of dormant hpv.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 03, 2010, 11:46:20 AM
u cant give a chick aids from titty fuckin tho unless she is lactating or some shit
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on December 03, 2010, 12:19:57 PM
"no worries bro, its a dick zit, wear a condom when you fuck sluts, brah"


hahaha

u cant give a chick aids from titty fuckin tho unless she is lactating or some shit

This is true. I confirmed it with my physician.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on December 03, 2010, 12:51:58 PM
how'd you do that shit, for a second I thought my doctor had a slap account.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on December 03, 2010, 12:59:13 PM
u cant give a chick aids from titty fuckin tho unless she is lactating or some shit
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Mackattack on December 03, 2010, 01:17:16 PM
in all likelihood, you probably carry some kind of dormant hpv.


Do you live in NC, strangefires?
I think Chris Niraetko (sp?) shouted you out in the most recent Skateboard Mag in a Dan Plunkett interview...
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: floop on December 03, 2010, 01:28:24 PM
i was worried it might be stds but i have been eating a lot of mcdonalds.

best thing i've heard in a while
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: strangefires on December 03, 2010, 02:07:01 PM
in all likelihood, you probably carry some kind of dormant hpv.


Do you live in NC, strangefires?
I think Chris Niraetko (sp?) shouted you out in the most recent Skateboard Mag in a Dan Plunkett interview...

i heard, but i have yet to see
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: hamburglar on December 04, 2010, 07:16:22 AM
on my list of shit i intend to do before i die, i wanted to fuck a black chick. after crossing it off the list and being hyped on my success, i realized i caught something from her (after she said she was clean). the realization after fucking a 43 year old (was on the list) and my ex.

a man should be able to take legal action against a woman if they knowingly withhold medical information that will effect our penises.
trust no ho
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 04, 2010, 09:48:19 AM
on my list of shit i intend to do before i die, i wanted to fuck a black chick. after crossing it off the list and being hyped on my success, i realized i caught something from her (after she said she was clean). the realization after fucking a 43 year old (was on the list) and my ex.

a man should be able to take legal action against a woman if they knowingly withhold medical information that will effect our penises.
trust no ho
Seriously, they can sue us for giving them a goddamn baby, why not the other way around?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Omamori on December 04, 2010, 09:58:30 AM
a man should be able to take legal action against a woman if they knowingly withhold medical information that will effect our penises.
trust no ho
Lol, that's fuckin stupid. It's your own choice to fuck them. It's your fault. If you were worried you should have asked for an STD test, if she declined I guess you don't fuck her. You were controlled by lust and looked what happened...no one should feel sorry for you.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 04, 2010, 10:31:24 AM
a man should be able to take legal action against a woman if they knowingly withhold medical information that will effect our penises.
trust no ho
Lol, that's fuckin stupid. It's your own choice to fuck them. It's your fault. If you were worried you should have asked for an STD test, if she declined I guess you don't fuck her. You were controlled by lust and looked what happened...no one should feel sorry for you.
ewwwwww. You just basically used the justification for not doing AIDS research in the 80's. Everybody wants to fuck. That's why new generations of people and animals continually appear. Lets not pretend the people who caught something are any sleazier than the people who didn't
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on December 04, 2010, 05:28:52 PM
Seriously its their fault if they know they have it. I dodged a bullet with the herpes (as told in another thread) and she came on to me super strong when I was wasted. Thankfully, i was as drunk as i was so I couldn't do the deed. I heard from my friend a week later that she had herpes and I was seriously contemplating violence but I'm clean thank Joe Pesci. Women and men should be held responsible if they know they have that shit. Its just so fucked up
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on December 04, 2010, 05:55:46 PM
Crass is just feeling holy because he's in a well-communicated, monogamous relationship and is forgetting that not every man is going to pause a woman whose hand is gently wrapped around his good brain, and ask her to relinquish papers of good sexual health, or henceforth, wait a fortnight to have tests produced so they may assume the sideways jitterbug. It works both ways, if you have something, you tell the other person. Don't wait to be asked, be responsible.

But all I really want to know is how pruny Rawb's fingers are this weekend after his undoubtedly soaked Friday night on plenty of fish.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on December 04, 2010, 06:32:06 PM
If you know you have an STD and don't tell your partner, you can be sued: it's battery. Michael Vick was sued by a Jane Doe in 2005 for giving her herpes. He was going to clinics around the country getting meds under the name Ron Mexico.

Ron Mexico. hahahaha!!

hamburglar fucked himself though by breaking Rule no. 1

1. Never Trust A Bitch

it's as simple as that, really. if you're that horny that you're willing to throw your dick in some uncharted waters and you don't know the hoe, then that's on you. straight up putting your dick in danger for a nut.

quick, someone get hamburglar this tank top before it's too late!!

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_znetMyxM0Pk/S7nZQZraS0I/AAAAAAAAEf8/RpbdryxAkwU/s400/neverTrustaHoe.png)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on December 05, 2010, 01:13:26 AM
good luck finding a chick that will fuck you after you ask her if she has that shit. If she knows she has it and straight out refuses to tell you when you do the deed, then that shit is on her. Also by your logic, any woman is uncharted waters if they are so fucking untrustworthy, so I would advise you not to have sex at all, but I'm sure you've got that part covered.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on December 05, 2010, 01:55:40 AM
good luck finding a chick that will fuck you after you ask her if she has that shit. If she knows she has it and straight out refuses to tell you when you do the deed, then that shit is on her. Also by your logic, any woman is uncharted waters if they are so fucking untrustworthy, so I would advise you not to have sex at all, but I'm sure you've got that part covered.

geez, this is fucking SLAP for god's sake. i was simply joshing around. people act more serious than my parents on here. cool off, guy.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Prison Wallet on December 05, 2010, 09:16:52 AM
What'd she give you?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on December 05, 2010, 12:21:27 PM
Look guys, quit giving Rawb's thread an STD.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oyolar on December 05, 2010, 01:08:03 PM
If you know you have an STD and don't tell your partner, you can be sued: it's battery. Michael Vick was sued by a Jane Doe in 2005 for giving her herpes. He was going to clinics around the country getting meds under the name Ron Mexico.

If it's AIDS/HIV, you can be charged with murder or attempted murder.

Crass is just feeling holy because he's in a well-communicated, monogamous relationship and is forgetting that not every man is going to pause a woman whose hand is gently wrapped around his good brain, and ask her to relinquish papers of good sexual health, or henceforth, wait a fortnight to have tests produced so they may assume the sideways jitterbug. It works both ways, if you have something, you tell the other person. Don't wait to be asked, be responsible.

Henceforth, fortnight, and sideways jitterbug all in one post? I like it.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on December 05, 2010, 02:37:19 PM
this thread needs more rawb
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Livin The Psychedelic Lif on December 05, 2010, 03:53:31 PM
Today was my first time reading this thread, and holy fuck am I blown away by Rawbs awesomness.
That being said

quit giving Rawb's thread an STD.

And

this thread needs more rawb


PS- Fingerblasting, tittyfucking, whaling, and blastoise-ing  has been burned into my skull forever.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on December 05, 2010, 05:59:14 PM
 
PS- Fingerblasting, tittyfucking, whaling, and blastoise-ing  has been burned into my skull forever.

New pokemon: Rawbertson used fingerblast!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: oldeath on December 05, 2010, 07:00:34 PM
this thread needs more rawb
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Prison Wallet on December 05, 2010, 08:35:59 PM
blastoise-ing 

Someone explain this one.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Tale Crab on December 05, 2010, 09:09:06 PM
blastoise-ing
Someone explain this one.
Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.
(http://pokebeach.com/scans/wizards-theme-deck-variants/2-blastoise-trainer-deck-b-misty.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on December 11, 2010, 01:13:42 PM
Fuck rawb my own life has been super boring lately .Not trying to push you or anything , but please keep this thread alive , Any new blastoiseng stories or fingerblasting action??
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Joe Pesci on December 11, 2010, 02:22:01 PM
Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again. ?  I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

couldve got head but let her off easy with a handjob. a true gentleman.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 11, 2010, 03:05:04 PM
man i am so close on getting this new girl to bang... there has been this party at my friends house the last 4 weekeneds in a row i keep getting way too drunk though because its always on friday. i think i need to start taking naps after work on fridays. but yeah i keep falling asleep.

the last two times she keeps trying to get me in a room with no one else and someone ALWAYS fucking walks in! I am so embarrassed cause she is definitley fat but i love her titties so i can look past the fatness.

 we were sitting in a chair for 1 person and i felt really warm just sitting beside her cause she is producing a lot of body heat.  i cant wait to get my greasy hands in there.

she texted me today which is good. i dont think a girl has texted me first like ever. i was a little unsure if she was still going to like me cause i danced up an insane storm last night and sweated profusely and then drove drunk home and that usually will make chicks not like you anymore. (well i wasnt relaly drunk but if i woul dhave got pulled over i would have went to jail. but my house was only 10 blocks away i just didint want to half to walk all the way back in the morning) but she didnt seem to notice. so yeah fingers crossed
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 11, 2010, 03:20:27 PM
man i am so close on getting this new girl to bang... there has been this party at my friends house the last 4 weekeneds in a row i keep getting way too drunk though because its always on friday. i think i need to start taking naps after work on fridays. but yeah i keep falling asleep.

the last two times she keeps trying to get me in a room with no one else and someone ALWAYS fucking walks in! I am so embarrassed cause she is definitley fat but i love her titties so i can look past the fatness.

 we were sitting in a chair for 1 person and i felt really warm just sitting beside her cause she is producing a lot of body heat.  i cant wait to get my greasy hands in there.

she texted me today which is good. i dont think a girl has texted me first like ever. i was a little unsure if she was still going to like me cause i danced up an insane storm last night and sweated profusely and then drove drunk home and that usually will make chicks not like you anymore. (well i wasnt relaly drunk but if i woul dhave got pulled over i would have went to jail. but my house was only 10 blocks away i just didint want to half to walk all the way back in the morning) but she didnt seem to notice. so yeah fingers crossed
Oh, she noticed my friend. Bad boy Rawb and his I don't give a fuck attitude was all that girl needs! She texted you because she wanted some of your dick before you either found somebody else or died. You, sir, are unpredictable.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Joe Pesci on December 11, 2010, 03:56:19 PM
we were sitting in a chair for 1 person and i felt really warm just sitting beside her cause she is producing a lot of body heat.?  i cant wait to get my greasy hands in there.

holy shit hahahahahaha
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: lighting on December 11, 2010, 04:31:44 PM
i hate myseld for when i used to hate on rawb.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on December 12, 2010, 02:30:29 AM
(http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/halolz-dot-com-supersmashbrosmelee-pokemon-blastoiselove.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beeda Weeda on December 12, 2010, 12:19:38 PM
we were sitting in a chair for 1 person and i felt really warm just sitting beside her cause she is producing a lot of body heat.??  i cant wait to get my greasy hands in there.
QOTY
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: blatablatblau on December 12, 2010, 02:33:36 PM
(http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/halolz-dot-com-supersmashbrosmelee-pokemon-blastoiselove.jpg)

HYDROPUMMPP!!!!!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 12, 2010, 02:55:03 PM
People (including me) need to stop posting when there aren't updates. I keep seeing it up at the top and hoping that there is a celebration going on of Rawb finally getting laid, and I get people commenting on the humor of the blastoise metaphor, and am let down.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on December 12, 2010, 09:55:02 PM
AHAHAHAHAAH I just google searched "blastoise". Never knew it was a Pokemon character.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on December 15, 2010, 01:13:11 PM
rawb, would you be her "writter" and titty fuck this broad?

(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1211.snc4/156383_1628081194397_1607584099_31491900_44830_n.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: skateboard pillows on December 15, 2010, 04:05:19 PM
someone needs to collect all of rawbs posts and put them on a blog
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 16, 2010, 07:55:15 AM
FRIDAY NIGHT is the girls birthday. all dick zits cleared up, pubes plucked according to watson's thread (thx). she invited me personally. i have to make sure i have a nap after work and drink tons of caffeine after because i have to make sure im on point. i CANNOT fuck this up. there will probably be lots of shots of tequila and shit so i gotta prep for this. i am pretty good at keeping up with people drinking unless it involves more than 10 shots. i am going to just walk down and leave my car at home i think to make sure i sleep in her disgusting debauchery dormatory.

I love titties, and so do you. Anyone who tells you they don't is only fooling themselves. Chicks dont like girls with bigger titties than them because that is basically competition. this guy i know who is really fucked up said "im not really into titties, im more into ass". you can be MORE into ass but you cannot rule out titties, if you are saying you dont care about titties you are lying or there is something wrong with you.

going back to primordial times, when rawbertson the 7th was hunting and shit, he was tryin to acquire women too, and he didnt want his troops dyin, he had to make sure his kids had plenty milk. so he titty fucked his way to glory, and look where we are today. i would not be here if it werent for that ancient love of titties.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: dolphinstyle. on December 16, 2010, 08:07:00 AM
I salute you, Sir!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on December 16, 2010, 08:31:04 AM
someone needs to collect all of rawbs posts and put them on a blog

There's fansites all over the internet: http://rawbuttson.blogspot.com/ (http://rawbuttson.blogspot.com/)

I love titties, and so do you.


Get your greasy hands on 'em, Rawb.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: jackherer on December 16, 2010, 08:50:18 AM
That blog sucks. We need Watson to get his shit together and start his own rawb blog. He could sell shirts and shit with rawb quotes on them and make a million bucks.

that shit about the cop girl and the fat girl feeling good beside him cause she emits so much body heat are some of the absolute greatest things ive ever read.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on December 16, 2010, 11:59:29 AM
20 minute power nap Rawb, that's all you need. Any more and you'll fall asleep at the tit like a baby getting breastfed. And we want you to go the distance.

Metacafe - Online Video Entertainment - Free video clips for your enjoyment (http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1399396/)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: anblue on December 16, 2010, 12:27:49 PM
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjaOQP_xn6Y#)

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr9oW8Gt1iA#)

Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: RobDyrdek on December 16, 2010, 01:09:28 PM
Rawb, like kenny powers youre just not an ass man. youre a tit man. you like big ass boobs, now and forever
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on December 16, 2010, 01:12:06 PM
fuck yeah, Rawb!! good luck tonight and hopefully you'll get some tail.

going back to primordial times, when rawbertson the 7th was hunting and shit, he was tryin to acquire women too, and he didnt want his troops dyin, he had to make sure his kids had plenty milk. so he titty fucked his way to glory, and look where we are today. i would not be here if it werent for that ancient love of titties.

pure gold.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on December 16, 2010, 03:55:07 PM
Is there a pic of birthday girl (and hopefully those tits)? I want to give my support to this.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 16, 2010, 07:52:43 PM

I love titties, and so do you. Anyone who tells you they don't is only fooling themselves. Chicks dont like girls with bigger titties than them because that is basically competition. this guy i know who is really fucked up said "im not really into titties, im more into ass". you can be MORE into ass but you cannot rule out titties, if you are saying you dont care about titties you are lying or there is something wrong with you.

Damn straight.
Also, I back Rawb starting this rawb blog. I see it being spotted by hollywood producers who buy the rights and turn this into the sleazy julia and julia or whatever the fuck that movie based on a blog was called starring McLovin in his first breakout lead role.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on December 16, 2010, 08:07:25 PM
all dick zits cleared up, pubes plucked according to watson's thread (thx).

Ahahah no problem brother. But seriously I don't think you need to worry about wookie dick with the fatties. That's one of the great things about fatties. They'll take what they can get.

going back to primordial times, when rawbertson the 7th was hunting and shit

So if Rawbertson the 7th was in primordial times, what fuckin Rawbertson does that make you?! Rawbertson the 653, 567, 384th?

Oh yeah and thanks for the new quote.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on December 17, 2010, 02:18:34 AM
This thread survives = slap's soul survives. :-* Thank you for your new posts Rawb.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: floop on December 17, 2010, 01:53:06 PM
i too hadn't read this thread from the beginning.  just want to express my appreciation for bringing me such joy

rawb needs his own blog, straight up
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on December 19, 2010, 02:22:56 PM
Well don't keep us in the dark Rawb! Or have you been on a 3 day titty fucking binge?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on December 23, 2010, 08:09:16 AM
FUCK! I can't get shit going on. just wasnt working out i couldnt get her alone again on friday night, i tried to chill with her sunday and monday night but our schedules were conflicting. she isnt back til new years or so, i am tryin to get herto coem to my friends party with a keg and shit, wont be so many people and shit then i will be able to murder those areolas
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on December 23, 2010, 10:25:18 AM
As much as I am enjoying imagining it, I would like a more detailed description as to what exactly "murdering areolas" entails. Please.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: strangefires on December 23, 2010, 10:32:28 AM
you can't force genius, narcissus
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Narcissus on December 23, 2010, 12:31:12 PM
Sorry, I was getting greedy.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Joust Ostrich on December 23, 2010, 02:51:16 PM
...and shit then i will be able to murder those areolas

Is anybody going to sig that?  It seems worthy.  I'd run that for a while.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Grubby Mits on December 23, 2010, 03:01:07 PM
dead girls don't say no
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on December 23, 2010, 06:52:47 PM
when Rawb gets blueballed, all of SLAP gets blueballed
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on December 23, 2010, 09:38:49 PM
when Rawb gets blueballed, all of SLAP gets blueballed
When Rawb gets laid, it will be like we all did.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on December 24, 2010, 12:09:55 AM
when Rawb gets blueballed, all of SLAP gets blueballed
When Rawb gets laid, it will be like we all did.

When our fingers become inexplicably pruney, we can smile knowing that Rawb's fingers just strummed a girl's G-spot like a harp.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: strangefires on December 24, 2010, 01:34:23 AM
when Rawb gets blueballed, all of SLAP gets blueballed
When Rawb gets laid, it will be like we all did.

When our fingers become inexplicably pruney, we can smile knowing that Rawb's fingers just strummed a girl's G-spot like a harp.

loooool
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Joust Ostrich on December 24, 2010, 10:33:13 AM
Than I am going to run with it.

Continuous victories to Rawb  in the new year.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on January 09, 2011, 07:27:16 AM
Than I am going to run with it.

Continuous victories to Rawb  in the new year.
Hows the new year going rawb? how was the new years eve??
any super awesome stories??
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on January 17, 2011, 10:16:49 PM
Come on Rawb, this thread is the only thing I like about Slap anymore. Hook us up. What'd you do with all them humps? All them humps up on them sluts?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on January 18, 2011, 06:12:18 AM
Don't leave us out in the cold like this. Share your gift.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on January 18, 2011, 11:47:51 AM
 :'(
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on January 18, 2011, 05:31:20 PM
i havent got fucken shit! im fucking pissed!!!!!! like no chances even i dont know whats going on
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on January 18, 2011, 07:42:13 PM
Damn Rawb, hang in there. Eventually the word will get around how you can start a forest fire with clit friction and the ladies will be knockin your door down.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: MaryhillVibe on January 18, 2011, 08:01:26 PM
Rawb, I have been following this thread for a while and you have brought me much mirth, I even thought I saw you from the bus one time last year when I was in Guelph...anyway...I am sorry to hear of you current dry spell and frustrations, im sending you good will through the internet.

remember its all about persistance!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Donkey Lips on January 19, 2011, 04:49:05 AM
I suggest Rawb take the rampage to the okcupid streets. We need content.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on January 19, 2011, 05:48:58 AM
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUebpo7bpUo#)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on January 21, 2011, 02:21:24 PM
thanks yo, i am gonna try for some shit tonight. i blew it with the fat chick.

we were all chillin like the fat chick and a bunch of friends, and somehow we got talking about like how much you care about looks in someone (i was kind of drunk i knew this was a bad thing to talk about) and i said something like "yo i would never hit anything over 180".

anyway the girl said "GEE, THANKS MIKE" and got super pissed and didnt speak to me again. I honestly didn't even think she was over 180.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: RipGrip on January 21, 2011, 02:26:52 PM
awesome as usual
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Inbred Jed on January 21, 2011, 02:40:21 PM
There go your chances of becoming a carney and working the "Guess your Age or Weight" booth
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on January 21, 2011, 02:43:55 PM
Rawb, I have been following this thread for a while and you have brought me much mirth, I even thought I saw you from the bus one time last year when I was in Guelph...anyway...I am sorry to hear of you current dry spell and frustrations, im sending you good will through the internet.

remember its all about persistance!

thats sick, i dont really go to Guelph that much, but i have been there a bunch of times for sure. I was going to this one skate park there for a really long time when i used to live in cambridge. they tore it down now though which blows. it had the best manual pad ever it was higher than a curb. i was there filming some skating one day, thats really random that you saw me though! thats sick! i am going to be in toronto a lot this summer, not sure if thats where you live. there are so many hot girls there, i have to move there.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: nice weather on January 21, 2011, 04:14:46 PM
I had a dream the other night I was walking to get food in Toronto somewhere with Zurg and we ran into Rawb, but he was sorta embarassed to be associated with Slap and dissed us with fetus and his posse. He ended up eating accross the street from where Zurg wanted to buy a hideous quilted Chicago Bulls cap.
Later we witnessed a dude having his head run over by a doubledecker bus and Zurg was watching like it wasn't a big deal while I looked away and then we were riding on a big mattress on top one of the busses and I started losing my grip and probably fell to a violent death in the streets of future 2150 Toronto.

I know dream recaps from other people are boring as fuck, but the slap related ones you just gotta share.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Zurg on January 21, 2011, 04:21:07 PM
huh? that happened, it was last summer. i bought that bulls cap btw
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: nice weather on January 21, 2011, 04:25:53 PM
I said it last summer and I'll say it again, I have a feeling that Saudi man is not selling original Chicago Bulls merchandise.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Watson on January 23, 2011, 12:18:41 PM
This show I Used To Be Fat just came on MTV and the chick in it has a cute face, and big fat chick tits, but she's pretty fat. She's talking about how she's never been on a date, and never kissed a boy or anything. All I could think was "Damn girl, Rawb would rock your fucking world."
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: rawbertson. on February 23, 2011, 03:11:33 PM
I have a date with this petite asian girl on saturday holy fuck i am so hyped she is only 19, 5'2", not even fat at all. She has glasses too. She is already saying she wants to meet me and hang out at my apartment on Saturday.

The only thing im worried about is her thing on plenty of fish says "Christian - Other" as religion, so hopefully she isnt on any bullshit where you dont fuck. i mean i need companionship as much as the next human, but i need to fuck, this is not an option. i am dying here. will fingerblast for hj.

Im not greedy or selfish for saying that, am I? I mean who would I be kidding if I said I just want this girl to come hang out at my house and have my mind run wild with all the debauchery i would unfold on those mammories while we sit and play fucking mario party. i mean i love mario party, dont get me wrong, I am willing to put in the work, I just hate playing games that are not Starcraft 2. Her thing says "Dating" and not "Hang out", I have went down that path before, BULLSHIT.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on February 23, 2011, 05:15:58 PM
baneling bust dat ass
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: smokecrack on February 23, 2011, 06:00:27 PM
and all is right with the world
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: crackrazor on February 23, 2011, 07:46:34 PM
"will fingerblast for hj"


That's what's up.


Damn, there are a bunch of Toronto pals here. I had no idea. We should go hit the streets sometime
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: saucy ragu on February 23, 2011, 10:51:40 PM
i would unfold on those mammories while we sit and play fucking mario party.

Fuck man, there's nothing I can say to elevate the verbal tapestry you just weaved in front of me. It's so beautiful.
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: j....soy..... on February 23, 2011, 11:27:04 PM
please don't switch from the fatty team to the asian team.....
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: magicstickyhand on February 24, 2011, 12:14:02 AM
and all is right with the world
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: barr on March 05, 2011, 08:50:57 PM
bump
so what went down?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: Goblinshark on March 21, 2011, 02:06:03 PM
OK who the fuck let this get to page 6? I'm fingerblasting this thread back to the front!

Ps: I I'm seeing a girl now from Okcupid who is awesome and I just showed her this thread. She fully supports your tittyfucking crusade and we still believe in you Rawb!
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: sprayTAN101 on March 21, 2011, 05:15:50 PM
Ask her to pay next time because you're uncomfortable paying for her affection. It's the modern version of this:
The Door Test (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mLqshL0WEk#ws)

thats a killer movie

how did the kid do? did he dump her?
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: crackrazor on March 21, 2011, 07:40:10 PM
I was at a bar last night and this was on the menu

(http://s4.postimage.org/nkhbxtwk/IMG00093_20110228_2043.jpg) (http://postimage.org/image/nkhbxtwk/)


Sorry for the shitty quality
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pyrex vision on March 21, 2011, 10:34:32 PM
(http://s4.postimage.org/7qscrjzi1/IMG00093_20110228_2043.jpg)
Title: Re: FUCK !
Post by: pugmaster on December 30, 2011, 07:07:22 PM
Be straight up, mauraders are as raw as they come won't hesitate to tell someone "don't leave me hanging".  Chris rock that hoe and......


Chris Rock on dirty talk and blowjobs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIv4phFcAAs#)