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General Discussion => Classic SLAP => Topic started by: Commercial D on September 25, 2010, 06:31:03 AM

Title: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 25, 2010, 06:31:03 AM
I recently finished "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" by Neill Strauss which led me into all kinds of literature on the art & science of speed seduction. I have to say, this shit works. I was at a club the other night and following a five-minute conversation was exchanging numbers with a girl when she asked, "Are you gonna remember me?" I said, "Yeah, of course," when she grabbed my head and started kissing me. "That's to make sure you don't forget," she said after biting my lip.

Another recent adventure had me chatting up a <6 chick who was with a friend that's a solid 8. I ended up giving 'em both a ride home, ditching the <6 first, and by the time I got to 8's house to drop her off she was handing me a piece of gum so we could make out for the next hour in my front seat.

Pals, here's where you can share your tips and techniques, anecdotes and strategies, your successes and your failures, in the art of seduction.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: nice weather on September 25, 2010, 07:10:00 AM
man, this is gonna be awesome.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Pelican on September 25, 2010, 07:55:18 AM
who the fuck makes out for an hour?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: earlygrab on September 25, 2010, 08:16:01 AM
who the fuck makes out for an hour?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Des Esseintes on September 25, 2010, 08:16:51 AM
I've read through a lot of this shit myself and can tell you that there's only two important lessons to be learnt:

1) Talk to girls you fucking idiot

2) Don't act like a fucking weirdo you fucking idiot

The terrible thing is that most people who read into this PUA bullshit end up breaking the second rule more than anyone.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Bipsmound on September 25, 2010, 08:22:18 AM
Lookout world, here comes Dallas!  He's got a hot new bod and some hot new ways to get you in the sack.  Don't resist his power!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: grimcity on September 25, 2010, 09:17:27 AM
If you're in college or around that age, get a job at a decent bar. You don't need to run game, just be a bullshitter.

I've been out of the dating thing too long to relate to it at this age. Just talk and don't be a prick, and do your best to pick up hints as to whether you're failing or not.

If all else fails, go for the easy target. Sure, maybe muffin tops has a third eye, but while your friends are jerking it on Redtube, you'll be masturbating with a real vagina.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Inanimate Object on September 25, 2010, 09:54:58 AM
The trick to picking up girls is grilled cheese. If you stock your fridge with nothing else, make sure you've got some cheese and some bread. Then, when you're out at the club, bar or seasonal pumpkin festival and you come across some fine young women that you want to seduce, just approach them and talk casually while steering the conversation to the topic of grilled cheese. Invite them over for some grilled cheese sandwiches. I guarantee they will come home and have sex with you. Guarantee.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: the whompler on September 25, 2010, 12:36:00 PM
The trick to picking up girls is grilled cheese. If you stock your fridge with nothing else, make sure you've got some cheese and some bread. Then, when you're out at the club, bar or seasonal pumpkin festival and you come across some fine young women that you want to seduce, just approach them and talk casually while steering the conversation to the topic of grilled cheese. Invite them over for some grilled cheese sandwiches. I guarantee they will come home and have sex with you. Guarantee.

haha so good

it's not hard to fuck a desperate chick from a club, it is however hard to avoid contracting herpes if u beat a lot of beat cheeks. spoiler, the moral of the story in those books are basically that EVERYONE is insecure so a little rejection goes a long way. but u don't need to pay a douche for book on the subject to take advantage of mindless drunk bitches.... just ruffee dem hoes
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Giovanni Falcone on September 25, 2010, 12:54:04 PM
who the fuck makes out for an hour?

(http://www.nypost.com/rw/nypost/2010/08/09/entertainment/photos_stories/cropped/mike_the_situation--300x300.jpg)

Not me YO

I take that bitch in the bathroom
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: sven thorkel on September 25, 2010, 02:35:03 PM
You suck. You are shit. Your head is so crammed with garbage that you have no idea. You posted twink porn of yourself on a public forum. And now you're in here endorsing dating techniques practiced by this idiot:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v68/the_notorious/mystery-pick-up-artist.jpg)

You sir, are a rare combination of douchiness. I salute you!

those goggles can look into any girls mind and extract her temptations. i bet this guy can get pussy like it was on an assembly line; he does after all have the truth specs and a metal stud in the center of his flavor savor. also, i bet that beanie/toque is concealing a sort of medusa effect hair cut... you know, you catch sight of his locks and instantly feel the effect of a couple of roofies

edit: ohhh shit, i just noticed the eyeball ring. i bet you he walks around the clubs putting his hand between girls legs (if they have a skirt on, of course) doing some reconnaissance. no more need for a mirror on the shoe
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: CigaretteBeer on September 25, 2010, 02:58:40 PM
Being an asshole and rambling about things that seem important to you while you're loaded on a substance seems to somehow work for me. I guess if you can play an instrument and sing a little to a girl who is drinking with you that really helps. Cooking too! Also don't wear a lot of cologne. You do not want to cover up your pheromones. And being born handsome helps. If you're ugly I don't know what to say. Most girls I've talked to are very concerned about a man being good looking.

And commercial D you're a fucking nerd. I can't believe you bought that book in the first place. I'd never stick my dick where that piece of shit has been.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: max power on September 25, 2010, 03:04:55 PM
Lookout world, here comes Dallas!  He's got a hot new bod and some hot new ways to get you in the sack.  Don't resist his power!
just don't mention 9/11 or the illuminati
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: pyrex vision on September 25, 2010, 03:47:17 PM
The trick to picking up girls is grilled cheese. If you stock your fridge with nothing else, make sure you've got some cheese and some bread. Then, when you're out at the club, bar or seasonal pumpkin festival and you come across some fine young women that you want to seduce, just approach them and talk casually while steering the conversation to the topic of grilled cheese. Invite them over for some grilled cheese sandwiches. I guarantee they will come home and have sex with you. Guarantee.

Quote
An Error Has Occurred!
Sorry, you can't repeat a karma action without waiting 24 hours.

oh and commercial D, you suck
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 25, 2010, 04:35:26 PM
just don't mention 9/11 or the illuminati

I actually gamed a chick in the supermarket who had an infowars.com sticker on her binder. She was pretty hot. We went from the grocery line to the pub to her room in under an hour. I think the trick was after I got her laughing with some Alex Jones impersonations I didn't mention 9/11, fluoride, or Ron Paul again.

My last girlfriend I somehow was able to score even after talking about microchip implants within five minutes of meeting her. I don't know what the hell I was thinking but evidently it worked.

You fags can diss me all you want, but there's no denying there's a psychology behind getting laid. It's not just luck. When you're in the right mindframe, it can happen every day of the week. I was hoping this thread would be rich with anecdotes and potent one-liners. And that Mystery guy looks like a total kook but he's probably nailed more hot chicks than all us Pals put together.

I used to be a bit of a natural PUA before these last five years of monogamy so I'm just trying to scrape off the rust. I'm not ashamed to admit I could use some help. And I didn't buy Neil Strauss's book?I just downloaded a PDF.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: frank on September 25, 2010, 04:36:24 PM
too much facetime is a bad thing
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Inanimate Object on September 25, 2010, 04:47:24 PM

I actually gamed a chick in the supermarket who had an infowars.com sticker on her binder. She was pretty hot. We went from the grocery line to the pub to her room in under an hour. I think the trick was after I got her laughing with some Alex Jones impersonations I didn't mention 9/11, fluoride, or Ron Paul again.
 


See, my "trick" is to never mention these things within the context of courtship. Ever.

Quote
You fags can diss me all you want, but there's no denying there's a psychology behind getting laid. It's not just luck. When you're in the right mindframe, it can happen every day of the week.

Yes, there is a psychology behind sex, but it's primarily evolutionary psychology. All you have to do is demonstrate that you're an acceptable mate by proving that you're a capable provider and psychologically stable (long term relationship) or that you at least have good genes (casual sex). I do these things by having a job and active social life, and by being tall and relatively attractive. I don't know if you can do these things, but it might be a better strategy than tricking girls into your apartment using "attraction building" techniques involving corny card tricks and eyeball rings.

Quote
I was hoping this thread would be rich with anecdotes and potent one-liners. And that Mystery guy looks like a total kook but he's probably nailed more hot chicks than all us Pals put together.

See, I don't have anecdotes or potent one-liners because I don't need to fool girls into liking me.  Also, any girl that "Mystery" has nailed is no interest of mine. Any girl fooled into fucking by his antics isn't worthy to have my child because clearly she has a low IQ, and I want strong, smart offspring. You might say "well you don't have to have kids with every girl you sleep with".  Well you're wrong. I'm in this shit to produce more babies than Ghengis Khan.

Quote
I used to be a bit of a natural PUA before these last five years of monogamy so I'm just trying to scrape off the rust. I'm not ashamed to admit I could use some help. And I didn't buy Neil Strauss's book?I just downloaded a PDF.

I've come out of several monogamous relationships before and never experienced any rust. If you leave a relationship not feeling like you're better at eating vag and buying thoughtful gifts than you were before being in it, you are doing everything wrong man.

Do you want me to write a free PDF for you? I think I'm on to something here.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Fine Young Cannibal on September 25, 2010, 04:53:26 PM
I read the first 30 words and came to the conclusion that I hate everything about Commercial D.

P.S.: If it was that easy for you, just imagine how easy it was for the 50 other guys who came before you.

Enjoy Human Papillomavirus.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 25, 2010, 05:14:06 PM

I've come out of several monogamous relationships before and never experienced any rust. If you leave a relationship not feeling like you're better at eating vag and buying thoughtful gifts than you were before being in it, you are doing everything wrong man.

Carpet-munching and gift-buying I've got on lock. Approaching sexy strangers and talking them into making out, not so much. And I think you underestimate the gullibility of the fairer sex. From what I've read 'smart' chicks are even more susceptible to these pua techniques. I don't think you'll see me busting out magic tricks or anything though.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: cancelled on September 25, 2010, 05:15:52 PM
lol
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Binomial Nomenclature on September 25, 2010, 05:25:33 PM
This thread sucks.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 25, 2010, 05:32:42 PM
This thread sucks.

Even moreso now that you've arrived with this gem of a posting, faggot.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: carbonite on September 25, 2010, 05:42:16 PM
like Chuck Klosterman said, try to hook up with chicks that are already married or are in long-term relationships. That way, your competition is just the dude they're with, as opposed to every other single dude in town.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: CigaretteBeer on September 25, 2010, 05:55:05 PM
Commercial D I was loaded last night and texted this girl I just met a picture of my cock and now she's ignoring me. What do I do man?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 25, 2010, 06:15:37 PM
Commercial D I was loaded last night and texted this girl I just met a picture of my cock and now she's ignoring me. What do I do man?

OK I LOL'd. I think that move's a bit bold to use on a chick you haven't already f-closed. My advice would be to turn your attentions toward a fresh target.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: lem on September 25, 2010, 06:30:11 PM
Commercial D I was loaded last night and texted this girl I just met a picture of my cock and now she's ignoring me. What do I do man?

OK I LOL'd. I think that move's a bit bold to use on a chick you haven't already f-closed. My advice would be to turn your attentions toward a fresh target.
Wrong. First thing you need to do is text her letting her know the picture does not do it justice. I mean she's got a small LCD phone. Your dick is bigger than that screen. Once she texts back with acknowledgement that you are a real man, text her back demanding she takes you to the bone zone. Don't call her, otherwise she'll start telling you about her day.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Tyroneshoelaces on September 25, 2010, 06:45:27 PM
"Hi, I'm so and so and i just wanted to meet you"  (ever so casually)


that shit works crazy, not going to lie.   only the meanest stuck up chicks won't meet anyone new.   usually they are a little confused but intrigued because nobody ever says "i just wanted to meet you".  but the ball is in their court and if they say "oh well i am susie q so and so" then you are in the green and have not been rejected.   from there it's just be normal and confident but not arrogant and not be a giant weirdo.      basically all you have to do is not be  giant weirdo.   or a giant fat ass.  
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: CigaretteBeer on September 25, 2010, 06:56:46 PM
Commercial D I was loaded last night and texted this girl I just met a picture of my cock and now she's ignoring me. What do I do man?

OK I LOL'd. I think that move's a bit bold to use on a chick you haven't already f-closed. My advice would be to turn your attentions toward a fresh target.
Wrong. First thing you need to do is text her letting her know the picture does not do it justice. I mean she's got a small LCD phone. Your dick is bigger than that screen. Once she texts back with acknowledgement that you are a real man, text her back demanding she takes you to the bone zone. Don't call her, otherwise she'll start telling you about her day.

I like that advice a lot. I think she was also offended when she wrote "my dad was named Tim. I miss him". And I said "so does it turn you on that I have your dead dad's name?".
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: crackrazor on September 25, 2010, 07:44:05 PM
Commercial D I was loaded last night and texted this girl I just met a picture of my cock and now she's ignoring me. What do I do man?

OK I LOL'd. I think that move's a bit bold to use on a chick you haven't already f-closed. My advice would be to turn your attentions toward a fresh target.
Wrong. First thing you need to do is text her letting her know the picture does not do it justice. I mean she's got a small LCD phone. Your dick is bigger than that screen. Once she texts back with acknowledgement that you are a real man, text her back demanding she takes you to the bone zone. Don't call her, otherwise she'll start telling you about her day.

I like that advice a lot. I think she was also offended when she wrote "my dad was named Tim. I miss him". And I said "so does it turn you on that I have your dead dad's name?".

She doesn't deserve you.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 25, 2010, 07:56:19 PM
You know how to get a fat chick into bed?
Piece of cake.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: The Donger on September 25, 2010, 08:21:09 PM
Taser & a roll of duck tape
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: frisco on September 25, 2010, 08:24:43 PM
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs640.snc3/32103_438201247316_563767316_6141352_7119612_n.jpg)

yo gurl, got any gum?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: smokecrack on September 25, 2010, 08:29:01 PM
"Hi, I'm so and so and i just wanted to meet you"  (ever so casually)


that shit works crazy, not going to lie.   only the meanest stuck up chicks won't meet anyone new.   usually they are a little confused but intrigued because nobody ever says "i just wanted to meet you".  but the ball is in their court and if they say "oh well i am susie q so and so" then you are in the green and have not been rejected.   from there it's just be normal and confident but not arrogant and not be a giant weirdo.      basically all you have to do is not be  giant weirdo.   or a giant fat ass.  

this. go up to a girl and just introduce yourself. don't be a creep, be casual. it throws them off at first, but they love that someone had the courage to simply introduce himself. all bar/club techniques are just tricks for pokin tricks. the introduction technique is the way of a fine gentleman. a true master of the romantic arts.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: weedpop on September 25, 2010, 11:35:51 PM
My question is: do you ever feel bad the next morning when you wake up next to the girl and realize that you've just ruthlessly manipulated her hindbrain into sleeping with some looser who she has absolutely nothing in common with?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Chris Hansen is back on September 26, 2010, 12:10:35 AM
First,

Dallas, you're fucking blowing it man. 30+ and can't talk to women? Kill yourself. Victor, that little hipster boi is clocking more pussy hours than you.

Second,

Seduce&Destroy (Part I) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2IVF9a2IA#ws)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Tyroneshoelaces on September 26, 2010, 09:30:01 AM
You know how to get a fat chick into bed?
Piece of cake.

haha wonderful.   
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: max power on September 26, 2010, 10:11:36 AM
Women aren't orcs and goblins with hit points and secret weaknesses.
fuck, so i spent all that money on potions and armor for nothing?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 26, 2010, 10:44:07 AM
I'm not going to claim I haven't had my own rough spots when it comes to dating. I had a long term relationship that took some time to bounce back from. Confidence can leave you and it's hard to get back. You spend your time pressing for something, wanting it badly, which just sends it the other direction.

However, your techniques are a toolbox for tools. You don't have the strength of character or self awareness to stand on your own two, so you rely on this bullshit.  It's not necessary to turn dating into a role playing game. Women aren't orcs and goblins with hit points and secret weaknesses. They're human beings. If they're worthwhile, they want to be around somebody they're attracted to who is secure in themselves. That's all it takes. But you act like your 'game' makes you some kind of pussy warrior. Get fucked.
This is pretty much the spot on truth of it all. I don't see how one can find a mate while all they are doing is playing bullshit games
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Sleazy on September 26, 2010, 11:34:02 AM
"Hi, I'm so and so and i just wanted to meet you"  (ever so casually)


that shit works crazy, not going to lie.   only the meanest stuck up chicks won't meet anyone new.   usually they are a little confused but intrigued because nobody ever says "i just wanted to meet you".  but the ball is in their court and if they say "oh well i am susie q so and so" then you are in the green and have not been rejected.   from there it's just be normal and confident but not arrogant and not be a giant weirdo.      basically all you have to do is not be  giant weirdo.   or a giant fat ass.   

this. go up to a girl and just introduce yourself. don't be a creep, be casual. it throws them off at first, but they love that someone had the courage to simply introduce himself. all bar/club techniques are just tricks for pokin tricks. the introduction technique is the way of a fine gentleman. a true master of the romantic arts.

you don't even have to go up, you can always test the waters with eye contact and\or a subtle wave and see if they are picking up on your vibe at all without forcing a potentially awkward situation. still direct and confident but also considerate because leaves a huge back door for them. and after making eye contact it's way easier to go in and introduce yourself because you've pretty much been invited at that point. even easier is to wait till they talk to someone you know then got up and talk to the mutual acquaintance.

My question is: do you ever feel bad the next morning when you wake up next to the girl and realize that you've just ruthlessly manipulated her hindbrain into sleeping with some looser who she has absolutely nothing in common with?

next morning? why would you keep them over that long when your mom's coming over for breakfast?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Prison Wallet on September 26, 2010, 11:56:04 AM
Dress up in a suit, visit the girl at work and present her with a Fossil watch.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: BuddyPal on September 26, 2010, 12:15:41 PM
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/profile-ak-snc4/object3/212/109/n115053573704_8899.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Watson on September 26, 2010, 01:54:54 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH COMMERCIAL D YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER!

Thank you for making this thread. I love how you disappear for long periods of time and then come back dropping hammers of epic proportions.

You sexy, sexy bastard.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: max power on September 26, 2010, 02:04:07 PM
How'd the wife react when she came home and all your gold was gone?
she cast a no sex spell that caused 10 frustration damage.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: nice weather on September 26, 2010, 02:19:10 PM
DOLPHINS

ABS

SEDUCTION

(http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/1088/dallassmall.gif)

RAW FRUITS

ABS

DALLAS
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: frisco on September 26, 2010, 02:33:21 PM
omg i just had a seizure of amazingness
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 26, 2010, 02:40:04 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH COMMERCIAL D YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER!

Thank you for making this thread. I love how you disappear for long periods of time and then come back dropping hammers of epic proportions.

You sexy, sexy bastard.

Someone has to keep things interesting here. I'd prefer reading a thread about speed seduction to one about NFL, but I'm just a loser like that.

That gif is outta control! Seems like a lot of work. I'm as flattered as I am impressed. If only I had graphics skills like that I wouldn't need cheesy PUA tactics.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: nice weather on September 26, 2010, 02:45:48 PM
shut up you dolphin shitting prick
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Smurph on September 26, 2010, 03:00:50 PM
What is this?

93 stee (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__rPLmR5ViI#)

Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: sven thorkel on September 26, 2010, 03:15:56 PM
180's over garbage cans and a dainty sprinting technique certainly didn't swoon the gurls in; therefore, dallas had to resort to the art of persuasion in order to eat pussy like he was pac-man and the ladies were blinky, pinky, inky and cylde
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: carbonite on September 26, 2010, 04:08:02 PM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH COMMERCIAL D YOU ARE A FUCKING LOSER!

Thank you for making this thread. I love how you disappear for long periods of time and then come back dropping hammers of epic proportions.

Slap is like Russian literature in this regard
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 26, 2010, 05:56:54 PM
shut up you dolphin shitting prick
actually his prostate cums dolphins, its just ruptured, so when he gets off now, dolphins leak out of his ass instead of prostate juice.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ticklefingers on September 26, 2010, 07:25:56 PM
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs640.snc3/32103_438201247316_563767316_6141352_7119612_n.jpg)

yo gurl, got any gum?

(http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/d28980026b.jpg)

yo gurl, i'ma run out and get a six pack.... oh wait... i got one right here
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Watson on September 26, 2010, 08:03:35 PM
(http://i54.tinypic.com/kafhvq.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Omamori on September 26, 2010, 08:10:39 PM
Is this guy a joke or is he for real?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: saucy ragu on September 26, 2010, 09:15:18 PM
You went all wrong by not first looking up this man's sagely words.

Real Nigga Speaks on Modern Day Romance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3pdvHXVrWA#)

And there's a good chance that those broads at the club that you met right after finishing that Pick-Up Line Bible, just might have been slutty girls at the club. Although if all you did was make out for an hour... what the fuck did you read the book for then? How to prolong your First Base game? Whack, and a waste of time.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: mandibleclaw on September 26, 2010, 09:27:10 PM
D, just wear a cut-off shirt and show your abs and girls will fly at your like you're a goddamn magnet













(how do they work?)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 26, 2010, 09:38:16 PM
D, just wear a cut-off shirt and show your abs and girls will fly at your like you're a goddamn magnet
(how do they work?)

Even better, I already got me one of these:

(http://img820.imageshack.us/img820/2950/situationt.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Watson on September 26, 2010, 11:18:26 PM
Is this guy a joke or is he for real?

Both.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: bakingsoda on September 27, 2010, 12:14:35 AM
DOLPHINS

ABS

SEDUCTION

(http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/1088/dallassmall.gif)

RAW FRUITS

ABS

DALLAS
This is fucking amazing. I laughed so hard. I hope this thread continues at this rate.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Beeda Weeda on September 27, 2010, 08:49:16 AM
wow, Dallas, you are a huge douche, but you make slap so awsome with these threads.
just ask a girl if she is aware of the benifits of raw foods, if she doesn't know, show em whats up, and you should be good, why even start a thread?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 27, 2010, 09:29:19 AM
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: H8R part 4 on September 27, 2010, 10:47:48 AM
don't run out of shit to talk about and make them laugh.
no one needs a book to figure this out. 
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: FrenchFriedClownFingers on September 27, 2010, 12:10:30 PM
You suck. You are shit. Your head is so crammed with garbage that you have no idea. You posted twink porn of yourself on a public forum. And now you're in here endorsing dating techniques practiced by this idiot:

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v68/the_notorious/mystery-pick-up-artist.jpg)

You sir, are a rare combination of douchiness. I salute you!

Damn
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: sametelt on September 27, 2010, 02:06:13 PM
I love slap.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: HATE! on September 27, 2010, 03:46:23 PM
I love when I leave Slap for a few days due to a vacation or something and come back to threads like this.  So awesome.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on September 27, 2010, 05:00:54 PM
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: sven thorkel on September 27, 2010, 07:33:15 PM
so you were pretty much a deer caught in headlights, Ahhhh huck chuck huck a luck
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: HATE! on September 27, 2010, 07:35:12 PM
Seal the deal.  Commie D, I hope that someone was nearby you when you wrote that so you could do that whole fist pound into exploding hand thing.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Bobby Peru on September 27, 2010, 09:47:23 PM
Dress up in a suit, visit the girl at work and present her with a Fossil watch.

That didn't work at all. You have to coax other women into fighting her, then tell her she looks like Rob Kardashian.

The worst in Commercial D brings out the best in everybody else. Thanks for the thread, guys.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: layzieyez on September 27, 2010, 09:59:43 PM
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
Holy shit!  You mean light can fuck up your game?  What the fuck happened, she got a good look at your face?  Next thing you know you're going to tell us how you're macking all the hot blind girls in your area.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: bentmode on September 27, 2010, 10:00:52 PM
free pdfs!?!?

Total hunky abdominal make over!?!?!?

Dallas, have you been in prison?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Ronald Wilson Reagan on September 27, 2010, 11:15:11 PM
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
what? I don't even get it. Were you planning on fucking in the car? I mean, couldn't that just be a cue to take it on inside? Have you gotten to that chapter?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Donkey Lips on September 28, 2010, 05:12:44 AM
Needing a book to learn how to pick up chicks is stupid. Having 'making out' as your motivation is stupid. Making out is wasting time. A precursor to fucking. That's like saying your end goal is unwrapping a delicious sandwich. Fuck the delicious sandwich.

I agree. I didn't get past making out in the car because right when I was about to seal the deal a newspaper delivery van pulled up across the street beaming through the windshield which was a total cock block.
I would use this situation to my advantage. Light up the target. Let the newspaper delivery watch the magic unfold. They can choose to stay or leave, but it's fucking happening either way.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 06:47:52 AM
back seat fucking aint that good anyway
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: mandibleclaw on September 28, 2010, 09:33:17 AM
wow, Dallas, you are a huge douche, but you make slap so awsome with these threads.
just ask a girl if she is aware of the benifits of raw foods, if she doesn't know, show em whats up, and you should be good, why even start a thread?

"you know the benefits or raw foods?"

"no, what are they?"

"only one way to find out," then you jam her mouth down on your raw dick




works every time, thank me later
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Narcissus on September 28, 2010, 09:42:03 AM
The trick to picking up girls is grilled cheese. If you stock your fridge with nothing else, make sure you've got some cheese and some bread. Then, when you're out at the club, bar or seasonal pumpkin festival and you come across some fine young women that you want to seduce, just approach them and talk casually while steering the conversation to the topic of grilled cheese. Invite them over for some grilled cheese sandwiches. I guarantee they will come home and have sex with you. Guarantee.

Holy shit. We have discovered the same kernel of truth! In all absolute seriousness, I have employed this tactic time and again with near-perfect effectiveness. You get yourself some whole wheat and a decent cheddar and you hold the key to a veritable fount of moist vagina.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: rawbertson. on September 28, 2010, 11:07:35 AM
pussy fountain'd be tite
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: DOOMERSANDSKULLS on December 11, 2010, 02:23:00 AM
wow, Dallas, you are a huge douche, but you make slap so awsome with these threads.
just ask a girl if she is aware of the benifits of raw foods, if she doesn't know, show em whats up, and you should be good, why even start a thread?

"you know the benefits or raw foods?"

"no, what are they?"

"only one way to find out," then you jam her mouth down on your raw dick




works every time, thank me later
MAN this thread is killing me and my game       dallas what should i do if a girl is a 10 but she all into  conspiracies  and raw foods?           
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: bakingsoda on December 11, 2010, 03:05:43 AM
Fuck you DOOMERSANDSKULLS. You suck, stop posting shitty youtube videos that aren't funny in things that made you laugh today, stop bumping old threads.

Stop posting or close your account, you suck.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: essal on December 11, 2010, 08:33:14 AM
Pro tip: Don't look or act like a fucking bum or hippie. Unless you want to score a bum or a hippie.

A couple of friends read The Game, and guess what, in some magic way they turned all into some jersey shore like monsters who got so pissed if a girl didn't want to eat their dick within 5 minutes of them meeting... They all put that crap away after realizing what they were doing...
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: DOOMERSANDSKULLS on December 12, 2010, 01:48:49 AM
Fuck you DOOMERSANDSKULLS. You suck, stop posting shitty youtube videos that aren't funny in things that made you laugh today, stop bumping old threads.

Stop posting or close your account, you suck.
whaasa  sorry got here from the tramp stamp thread

This thread perfectly illustrates why inked chicks are unboneable.

And this thread (http://www.slapmagazine.com/component/option,com_jfusion/Itemid,4/index.php?topic=47336.0) perfectly illustrates that you don't have many choices, and should just take whatever's handed to you.
but ya  i cant explain my shitty posts ...oh wait I SUCK dam this is crazy  I'm learning all the time   knowledge is power   
     MY BAD
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: sk8nappreciate on December 12, 2010, 04:14:34 AM
Commercial D seems like a pretty cool guy... He reads books, slays bitches, and doesn't afraid of anything.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Diogenes on December 12, 2010, 06:40:05 AM

I rarely contribute to slap discussions, but I feel obliged to in this case.


1. That gif. is hilarious.
2. Commercial D., your a retard.




Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: busey on March 05, 2013, 07:27:20 AM
mod request: move to classic slap

every page is gold.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Generik on March 05, 2013, 07:52:33 AM
How To Seduce Women Through Hypnosis (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kkz7uJ30SY#)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Bobby Peru on March 05, 2013, 03:49:06 PM
mod request: move to classic slap

every page is gold.

Request granted
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: pica on March 05, 2013, 04:34:28 PM
(http://i.qkme.me/3qnpwk.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: otis shredding on March 05, 2013, 07:15:28 PM
i watch a lot of porn, so I'm pretty sure i know how to seduce a woman, heres what I've learned:

1) stalk any woman of your choice, and then tell her you have a pizza to deliver, don't accept her saying "but i didn't order a pizza" for an answer (because you and i both know she's probably into you at this point), and then have your dick in the pizza box. simple as that

2) this next one may be a little hard to pull off depending on where you are, but I'm almost positive girls like it the most. when you see some fine lady eye fuck her until she looks back at you. once this happens she will think one of two things, a, you want to bone her, or b, your fucking retarded. heres where the trick comes in to play, you should point to the bulge in your crotch indicating you have a boner, or even go full J-Lay and whip that shower serpent right out there in the open. i know this sounds risky but the last thing you want a hot babe to think your retarded. after that just make a left and your at at pound town.

i don't know why you read a book about picking up chicks, my guess is you've been the one staring at chicks and making them think your retarded... well at least you got your head on straight and posted a thread about it in slap because I'm confident i just dropped some knowledge on your ass
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: MuchasGracias on March 06, 2013, 12:50:13 AM
i watch a lot of porn, so I'm pretty sure i know how to seduce a woman, heres what I've learned:

1) stalk any woman of your choice, and then tell her you have a pizza to deliver, don't accept her saying "but i didn't order a pizza" for an answer (because you and i both know she's probably into you at this point), and then have your dick in the pizza box. simple as that

2) this next one may be a little hard to pull off depending on where you are, but I'm almost positive girls like it the most. when you see some fine lady eye fuck her until she looks back at you. once this happens she will think one of two things, a, you want to bone her, or b, your fucking retarded. heres where the trick comes in to play, you should point to the bulge in your crotch indicating you have a boner, or even go full J-Lay and whip that shower serpent right out there in the open. i know this sounds risky but the last thing you want a hot babe to think your retarded. after that just make a left and your at at pound town.

i don't know why you read a book about picking up chicks, my guess is you've been the one staring at chicks and making them think your retarded... well at least you got your head on straight and posted a thread about it in slap because I'm confident i just dropped some knowledge on your ass

You didn't misspell any of your words this time, is it because you were writing about porn? You usually shorten your words, this thread is intriguing.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: busey on March 06, 2013, 11:39:18 AM
booooom, 36 still got tricks. what !
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: UgolinoTheSignificant on March 06, 2013, 11:43:38 AM
Pro tip: Don't look or act like a fucking bum or hippie. Unless you want to score a bum or a hippie.

A couple of friends read The Game, and guess what, in some magic way they turned all into some jersey shore like monsters who got so pissed if a girl didn't want to eat their dick within 5 minutes of them meeting... They all put that crap away after realizing what they were doing...

if you falling for that insecurity-exacerbating, secret-trick promising, copy-writing bullshit, you're a fucking MARK.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: GAY on March 06, 2013, 03:18:42 PM
Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: SheepShagger on March 07, 2013, 09:56:43 AM
My question is: do you ever feel bad the next morning when you wake up next to the girl and realize that you've just ruthlessly manipulated her hindbrain into sleeping with some looser who she has absolutely nothing in common with?


beta.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: brycickle on March 07, 2013, 10:02:59 AM


1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.


Pro tip: Remove pants and underwear before attempting this tactic. Otherwise she won't be able to tell that you're winking your brown eye at her.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: SheepShagger on March 07, 2013, 10:06:18 AM
(http://i54.tinypic.com/kafhvq.jpg)

Dat hair.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: GAY on March 07, 2013, 10:16:05 AM


1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.


Pro tip: Remove pants and underwear before attempting this tactic. Otherwise she won't be able to tell that you're winking your brown eye at her.

Goddamnit! I knew I left something out. Methinks you've used this same tip on the ladies before brycickle. *high 5* It turns females from pent-up nuns to sex minxes in the wink of one sexy eye.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: IanBZHD on March 07, 2013, 10:22:23 AM
Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: brycickle on March 07, 2013, 10:29:48 AM
Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

That's some Ted Bundy advice right there.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: DEDBBIS on March 07, 2013, 10:33:26 AM
Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

Begging for you to be able to get it up maybe, amphetamine salts make your dick retract like a turtle into its shell
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ttching! on March 07, 2013, 11:16:17 AM
60% of the time, the picnic basket surprise works every time.

(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0u935JlQw1qb5wbbo1_500.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: GAY on March 07, 2013, 11:26:43 AM
60% of the time, the picnic basket surprise works every time.

(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0u935JlQw1qb5wbbo1_500.jpg)

Right? They love picnics and surprises...and the "basket" brings the two together in a fun, educational, light hearted way. Also, I think the hole in the bottom of the popcorn bag at the movie theater is another one that virtually EVERY lady just loves!
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: IanBZHD on March 07, 2013, 12:42:42 PM
Here are some of the best tricks I've honed over the years. Oh...and they will DEFINITELY work with girls too. Don't believe me? Try one out...you'll see.

1) Take a pencil and throw it down in front of her. Then go over, turn your back to her, and bend over at the waist real slow like to pick it up. When you reach the pencil stay in the bent over position and then turn your head and look her right in the eye. Bite on the pencil and wink at her with whichever eye is facing them. Then straighten up so fast you do a little hop and walk away. She'll be wet with intrigue.

2) Wear something really tight and stretchy to the gym and do dance moves in the mirror watching yourself. If you're listening to something funky sing along to it loudly. She'll think it's neat that there's a dude in a singlet so caught up in his exercise routine that he's oblivious to everyone...but her.

3) Surprise her by pulling your penis out and slapping her in the face with it. Although she might act dismayed, secretly she's excited by this display of power and playfulness. Don't be surprised if you're nutting in her by noon.

4) Buy her something sexy like mouthwash, Midol or deodorant. Girls love gifts...why not make it something she can use? She'll appreciate the fact that you care.

5) Ask if she likes blowjobs.

Can't wait to hear how these work out on the ladies for you guys!

Im becoming  increasingly more aware of your "gay-ness", and i like it. Honestly if you did these things (excluding #2) they would probably work because you would come off "quirky and different"

For chicks just tell yourself they're not shit and dont be intimidated. If shes a bitch to you, then you probably dont want to be spending time with her anyway, or if your lucky you can at least take her to the bone-zone.

If your overly self conscious and nervous at bars, then just get hold of some adderall. You'll hold your liquor like a fiend and you'll be much more conversational. She'll be begging fo it mang.

That's some Ted Bundy advice right there.
Well if your just trying to bone either your gonna get rejected or go to the boneyard. So really  do you care what the chick thinks about you? Thats why it doesnt matter, they're just human like you, its not highschool and your gonna get laughed at all year for hitting on a chick.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: brycickle on March 07, 2013, 12:55:26 PM
No, the reason it doesn't matter what she thinks about me is because she's dead either way.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Dontfearthereefer on March 07, 2013, 12:55:48 PM
get real drunk and find the ugliest girl at the bar
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: MuchasGracias on March 07, 2013, 01:08:34 PM
booooom, 36 still got tricks. what !
lol
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: GAY on March 08, 2013, 09:31:52 AM
get real drunk and find the ugliest girl at the bar

The ugly ones try hard to please and are therefore the most fun in the sack. I call 'em double baggers.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: chockfullofthat on March 08, 2013, 09:58:46 AM
get real drunk and find the ugliest girl at the bar

The ugly ones try hard to please and are therefore the most fun in the sack. I call 'em double baggers.

Ya but they're the dregs of society and have the highest potential to snap...ie burning your house down after you kick her/him out at 4 am.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: LOU.502 on March 09, 2013, 02:44:33 PM
No, the reason it doesn't matter what she thinks about me is because she's dead either way.
Hahhahahaha holy shit
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Dontfearthereefer on March 10, 2013, 10:55:54 AM
standards are for relationships

a man with standards is just cockblocking himself

dont cockblock yourself
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ttching! on March 11, 2013, 09:54:04 AM
standards are for relationships

a man with standards is just cockblocking himself

dont cockblock yourself

So, is following this advice what led you to having sex with the dead people at your work?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Dontfearthereefer on March 11, 2013, 03:57:14 PM
im just saying before im put in a crematoriums oven i wouldn't mind getting laid one last time, dead or alive
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Carrolls Chesthairs on March 14, 2013, 10:16:55 AM
The one time I did bring up grilled cheese to a girl it worked.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: SKATE DAD on March 18, 2013, 05:08:48 PM
Lookout world, here comes Dallas!  He's got a hot new bod and some hot new ways to get you in the sack.  Don't resist his power!
Its going to be difficult.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: SheepShagger on March 19, 2013, 06:12:29 PM
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/a-city-doesnt-suck-just-because-youre-stupid (http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/a-city-doesnt-suck-just-because-youre-stupid)

LOL at these fags getting trolled.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: poopmonkey on April 02, 2013, 02:58:35 AM
Tell them you're Ryan Gosling, stick to your role. Tell her all about the movies you're currently shooting and the butler at your huge mansion. Just talk funny bullshit. Example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuzsZ8GyM38
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: iSk84thechicas on August 16, 2013, 10:15:37 AM
just don't mention 9/11 or the illuminati

I actually gamed a chick in the supermarket who had an infowars.com sticker on her binder. She was pretty hot. We went from the grocery line to the pub to her room in under an hour. I think the trick was after I got her laughing with some Alex Jones impersonations I didn't mention 9/11, fluoride, or Ron Paul again.

My last girlfriend I somehow was able to score even after talking about microchip implants within five minutes of meeting her. I don't know what the hell I was thinking but evidently it worked.

You fags can diss me all you want, but there's no denying there's a psychology behind getting laid. It's not just luck. When you're in the right mindframe, it can happen every day of the week. I was hoping this thread would be rich with anecdotes and potent one-liners. And that Mystery guy looks like a total kook but he's probably nailed more hot chicks than all us Pals put together.

I used to be a bit of a natural PUA before these last five years of monogamy so I'm just trying to scrape off the rust. I'm not ashamed to admit I could use some help. And I didn't buy Neil Strauss's book?I just downloaded a PDF.

Word I have to give it uip to you man, it takes me about a week to 2 weeks to get any action from cold calling and getting a number.  im not yet there to get in a chick within a day.   Any tips?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: iSk84thechicas on August 16, 2013, 10:19:06 AM
"Hi, I'm so and so and i just wanted to meet you"  (ever so casually)


that shit works crazy, not going to lie.   only the meanest stuck up chicks won't meet anyone new.   usually they are a little confused but intrigued because nobody ever says "i just wanted to meet you".  but the ball is in their court and if they say "oh well i am susie q so and so" then you are in the green and have not been rejected.   from there it's just be normal and confident but not arrogant and not be a giant weirdo.      basically all you have to do is not be  giant weirdo.   or a giant fat ass.  

this. go up to a girl and just introduce yourself. don't be a creep, be casual. it throws them off at first, but they love that someone had the courage to simply introduce himself. all bar/club techniques are just tricks for pokin tricks. the introduction technique is the way of a fine gentleman. a true master of the romantic arts.
True... but the master key, is understanding how to escalate it to a hookup within a day or less. This is important. From, "hey thats a nice outfit", to l"ets go gets some coffee".. blah blah small talk, "ok, well i live over here....."this is the point that people miss
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ShihtzuEnthusiast on August 30, 2013, 10:02:44 PM
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - The D.E.N.N.I.S System scene (S05E10 - The D.E.N.N.I.S System) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZuOKUrwoys#ws)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: iSk84thechicas on September 09, 2013, 08:16:36 PM
ha so i was talking up a girl who was working at a art gallery that i walked into.  We were making time chattin when shithead -rich couple comes in 5 mins b4 closing. any way she had to talk to them and i realized that they prolly thought i was her guy so interupted, said "kay babe i'll see ya later" fucking leaned in and kissed her!!!  anyway dated her for a minute  ha (ps dont try at home and catch an sexual assalt charge lol)

Was this on the lips or the cheeks?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: givecigstosurfgroms on September 10, 2013, 04:24:23 AM
lips (i went back into the shop the next day and she thought it was hilarious and blah blah ect. but it was pretty sexy)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: EPetrov on October 12, 2013, 08:11:11 PM
^that is halarious
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Commercial D on November 16, 2013, 05:55:06 PM

Word I have to give it uip to you man, it takes me about a week to 2 weeks to get any action from cold calling and getting a number.  im not yet there to get in a chick within a day.   Any tips?

1) Talk about exciting things. Exotic vacations, meeting famous people, crazy parties, and (although you don't want to introduce too much too soon) sex.

2) Go for the hands before the kiss. Compare your hand size to hers, check out the smoothness of her fingers, etc. Once you're holding hands with a girl her comfort level is going to rise considerably. When you meet a girl at the club and shake her hand don't pull yours away first. If after a few seconds she's still holding your hand, she's into it. On multiple occasions I've gone from meeting a girl to making out in less than 5 minutes and usually minutes later we're in a taxicab. When she asks, "Where are we going?" the proper response is, "What's your address?" Unless, of course, it's possible to bang at your crib, but then you're faced with the problem of getting her to bounce after you jizz (without seeming like the callous prick that you are).

3) Compliment her body. Touch her thighs. But stay away from the vag until you're in private. You always want to leave her wanting a bit moar.

4) Be horny. If you're not horny, how can you expect her to be? Imagine yourself kissing her neck, feeling her breasts and (apropos to suggestion #1) direct the conversation toward titillating topics. It might be intangible and scientifically immeasurable, but she'll be able to feel the sexual energy. Never fap before a date or a night out--it really does take away from your sexual energy levels. Some dudes (not that I would ever advocate this) swear by a few dips of Molly to get them in the right mindset.  ;D If you're over 30, Cialis? makes for a great secret weapon--if you're somewhere private, once you end up kissing her put her hand over your pants so she can feel your raging boner and it'll be game over.

5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.

6) When she's looking into your eyes with a sense of expectation, that's a green light to kiss her. Make sure your mouth isn't tasting like onions or cigarettes.

7) On a date or a night out, look the best you can. Save the Palace tee and the thrashed Lakais for the skatepark and put on some real clothes--whether it's a fresh pair of Supras and an Altamont button-down, or a pair of Sperry Tops with some Nantucket Reds, be as fresh and flashy as you can without being douchey. Look good naked so you can't wait to show her how hot you are--she'll be able to sense that. That doesn't necessarily mean big muscles, but being able to see whatever amount of lean body mass you do have. That means a body fat level below 10%--if you lack any visible vascularity in your lower abdomen, figure out what you need to do (nutritionally & athletically) to get there. Age is no excuse. "Look the best you can" also applies to your home and your car--put away the bong and the dirty dishes in your apartment and make sure your car does have clean paint & polished tires and doesn't have an overflowing ashtray and a carpet covered in Burger King bags. Whether it's your clothes, your hair, your body, your home or your vehicle, always make it look the best it can given your current resources.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ttching! on November 17, 2013, 06:07:50 AM
(http://s22.postimg.org/4r31mk1i9/tumblr_mrdyblr4t_T1sdpqt6o2_1280.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: chockfullofthat on November 17, 2013, 12:03:57 PM
Isn't Cialis for like the 50+ crowd?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: brycickle on November 17, 2013, 10:36:17 PM
What the fuck is happening right now?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: wuust on November 18, 2013, 03:36:51 AM

Word I have to give it uip to you man, it takes me about a week to 2 weeks to get any action from cold calling and getting a number.  im not yet there to get in a chick within a day.   Any tips?

1) Talk about exciting things. Exotic vacations, meeting famous people, crazy parties, and (although you don't want to introduce too much too soon) sex.

2) Go for the hands before the kiss. Compare your hand size to hers, check out the smoothness of her fingers, etc. Once you're holding hands with a girl her comfort level is going to rise considerably. When you meet a girl at the club and shake her hand don't pull yours away first. If after a few seconds she's still holding your hand, she's into it. On multiple occasions I've gone from meeting a girl to making out in less than 5 minutes and usually minutes later we're in a taxicab. When she asks, "Where are we going?" the proper response is, "What's your address?" Unless, of course, it's possible to bang at your crib, but then you're faced with the problem of getting her to bounce after you jizz (without seeming like the callous prick that you are).

3) Compliment her body. Touch her thighs. But stay away from the vag until you're in private. You always want to leave her wanting a bit moar.

4) Be horny. If you're not horny, how can you expect her to be? Imagine yourself kissing her neck, feeling her breasts and (apropos to suggestion #1) direct the conversation toward titillating topics. It might be intangible and scientifically immeasurable, but she'll be able to feel the sexual energy. Never fap before a date or a night out--it really does take away from your sexual energy levels. Some dudes (not that I would ever advocate this) swear by a few dips of Molly to get them in the right mindset.  ;D If you're over 30, Cialis? makes for a great secret weapon--if you're somewhere private, once you end up kissing her put her hand over your pants so she can feel your raging boner and it'll be game over.

5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.

6) When she's looking into your eyes with a sense of expectation, that's a green light to kiss her. Make sure your mouth isn't tasting like onions or cigarettes.

7) On a date or a night out, look the best you can. Save the Palace tee and the thrashed Lakais for the skatepark and put on some real clothes--whether it's a fresh pair of Supras and an Altamont button-down, or a pair of Sperry Tops with some Nantucket Reds, be as fresh and flashy as you can without being douchey. Look good naked so you can't wait to show her how hot you are--she'll be able to sense that. That doesn't necessarily mean big muscles, but being able to see whatever amount of lean body mass you do have. That means a body fat level below 10%--if you lack any visible vascularity in your lower abdomen, figure out what you need to do (nutritionally & athletically) to get there. Age is no excuse. "Look the best you can" also applies to your home and your car--put away the bong and the dirty dishes in your apartment and make sure your car does have clean paint & polished tires and doesn't have an overflowing ashtray and a carpet covered in Burger King bags. Whether it's your clothes, your hair, your body, your home or your vehicle, always make it look the best it can given your current resources.

Get in the physical zone as soon as you can so any kind of move towards kissing and what not won't feel strange.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: SodaJerk on November 24, 2013, 12:56:22 AM
(http://s22.postimg.org/4r31mk1i9/tumblr_mrdyblr4t_T1sdpqt6o2_1280.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)

What the fuck is up with her giant hipper bruise?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: brycickle on November 24, 2013, 06:42:59 PM

What the fuck is up with her giant hipper bruise?
Raw fruit diet.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: doomstation55 on December 24, 2013, 12:33:30 PM
This shit is hilarious.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: EAT PUSSY! on December 26, 2013, 07:43:08 AM

Word I have to give it uip to you man, it takes me about a week to 2 weeks to get any action from cold calling and getting a number.  im not yet there to get in a chick within a day.   Any tips?

1) Talk about exciting things. Exotic vacations, meeting famous people, crazy parties, and (although you don't want to introduce too much too soon) sex.

2) Go for the hands before the kiss. Compare your hand size to hers, check out the smoothness of her fingers, etc. Once you're holding hands with a girl her comfort level is going to rise considerably. When you meet a girl at the club and shake her hand don't pull yours away first. If after a few seconds she's still holding your hand, she's into it. On multiple occasions I've gone from meeting a girl to making out in less than 5 minutes and usually minutes later we're in a taxicab. When she asks, "Where are we going?" the proper response is, "What's your address?" Unless, of course, it's possible to bang at your crib, but then you're faced with the problem of getting her to bounce after you jizz (without seeming like the callous prick that you are).

3) Compliment her body. Touch her thighs. But stay away from the vag until you're in private. You always want to leave her wanting a bit moar.

4) Be horny. If you're not horny, how can you expect her to be? Imagine yourself kissing her neck, feeling her breasts and (apropos to suggestion #1) direct the conversation toward titillating topics. It might be intangible and scientifically immeasurable, but she'll be able to feel the sexual energy. Never fap before a date or a night out--it really does take away from your sexual energy levels. Some dudes (not that I would ever advocate this) swear by a few dips of Molly to get them in the right mindset.  ;D If you're over 30, Cialis? makes for a great secret weapon--if you're somewhere private, once you end up kissing her put her hand over your pants so she can feel your raging boner and it'll be game over.

5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.

6) When she's looking into your eyes with a sense of expectation, that's a green light to kiss her. Make sure your mouth isn't tasting like onions or cigarettes.

7) On a date or a night out, look the best you can. Save the Palace tee and the thrashed Lakais for the skatepark and put on some real clothes--whether it's a fresh pair of Supras and an Altamont button-down, or a pair of Sperry Tops with some Nantucket Reds, be as fresh and flashy as you can without being douchey. Look good naked so you can't wait to show her how hot you are--she'll be able to sense that. That doesn't necessarily mean big muscles, but being able to see whatever amount of lean body mass you do have. That means a body fat level below 10%--if you lack any visible vascularity in your lower abdomen, figure out what you need to do (nutritionally & athletically) to get there. Age is no excuse. "Look the best you can" also applies to your home and your car--put away the bong and the dirty dishes in your apartment and make sure your car does have clean paint & polished tires and doesn't have an overflowing ashtray and a carpet covered in Burger King bags. Whether it's your clothes, your hair, your body, your home or your vehicle, always make it look the best it can given your current resources.

+1 (if I could)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: MostlyLurkin' on April 06, 2014, 04:27:02 PM
(http://s22.postimg.org/4r31mk1i9/tumblr_mrdyblr4t_T1sdpqt6o2_1280.jpg) (http://postimage.org/)


Throw some hair on his chest, and that dude looks kinda like Mike Carroll.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on April 07, 2014, 02:45:56 AM
this article describes dallas pretty well

http://www.vice.com/read/portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man (http://www.vice.com/read/portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-young-man)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ill_Murray on April 22, 2014, 05:49:41 PM
It's a numbers game and different chicks just have different types.  The more you go for it the less rejection sucks after a while.  Those are basically the only 2 guarantees.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Beer Keg Peg Leg on June 02, 2014, 03:55:48 AM
BUMP
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: ttching! on June 02, 2014, 04:04:00 AM
BUMP

(http://makeagif.com/media/2-17-2013/o_Nx87.gif)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: HATE! on June 02, 2014, 09:31:02 AM
Relevant.


(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0pPMAQXPMLQ/TzPXPPQdObI/AAAAAAAAAPs/sdgmSX5ZnUg/s1600/Robert_Romanus_blondie_600.jpg)
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Early Hokus Pokus on August 10, 2014, 02:23:35 PM
For some reason I'm really honest with girls. It's now working, I'm going to start lying.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: bea! on August 11, 2014, 08:26:23 AM
Relevant.


(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0pPMAQXPMLQ/TzPXPPQdObI/AAAAAAAAAPs/sdgmSX5ZnUg/s1600/Robert_Romanus_blondie_600.jpg)

i need that cardboard cut out.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: busey on August 11, 2014, 10:40:33 PM
hi guys,

pick up artist here. at first i had no confidence and had a hard time fitting in or picking up on social cues which i thought tipping my fedora and saying m'lady would fix but simply didn't. then i found another group of guys having the same problem. now my life is changed. started wearing v-necks and wearing ribbons and all sorts of goofy bullshit when i go out to the clubs. if you thought women were people, well.. you're wrong. they're actually just pawns in our step by step game to lure them into our rape lair. simply 'nag them' which is simply just telling them stuff like 'hi you're pretty, but you would be a lot prettier if you didn't have a wheelchair LOL' which instantly makes them want to come back and watch the hangover on netflix.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: Rusty Shackleford on August 11, 2014, 10:48:41 PM
I cannot stress this enough stock up on local craft wine
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: BARGAIN_SHOPPER on August 14, 2014, 03:51:35 AM
aye girl? whatchu want in yo stomach a boy or a girl?
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: nice_guy_2 on August 21, 2014, 09:24:46 PM
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
5) This is the first thing any aspiring pick-up artist learns but it's worth saying again: never lean in to talk to a girl. Even if the music's loud, stand up straight and project your voice from your chest, not your throat. If she's into it, she'll come closer to you.
Title: Re: Pick-Up Artistry
Post by: the whompler on December 05, 2014, 04:28:32 PM
hi guys,

pick up artist here. at first i had no confidence and had a hard time fitting in or picking up on social cues which i thought tipping my fedora and saying m'lady would fix but simply didn't. then i found another group of guys having the same problem. now my life is changed. started wearing v-necks and wearing ribbons and all sorts of goofy bullshit when i go out to the clubs. if you thought women were people, well.. you're wrong. they're actually just pawns in our step by step game to lure them into our rape lair. simply 'nag them' which is simply just telling them stuff like 'hi you're pretty, but you would be a lot prettier if you didn't have a wheelchair LOL' which instantly makes them want to come back and watch the hangover on netflix.