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Skateboarding => USELESS WOODEN TOY BANTER => Topic started by: streetsoup on January 25, 2018, 12:42:50 PM
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What would your favorite pro do for a living if he wasn't a skater? What does his appearance imply what he might do as an occupation if he wasn't pro?
Zion Wright, - Tiger's golf caddy
Lucas Puig- lifestyle blogger
Nak- Soundcloud rapper (oh wait)
Foy- Factory worker or Milkman
Biebel- jarhead
Carroll- Manager at a call center
Dill- Butcher
Gonz- Janitor at an elementary school. Skates the empty schoolyard after his shifts to the dismay of teachers and parents
Reynolds- Real estate agent
Koston- T Mobile Customer Service
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I don't know what butchers or estate agents you hang with but their in the wrong line of business if they look like Dill or Reynolds.
Dill would work in a vhs rental shop and Reynolds might be a dude behind the counter at a petrol station.
Corey Duffel could be a hairdresser.
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Wade Desarmo - Mountie
Antoin Asselin - Mountie
Ryan Decenzo - Mountie
Scott Decenzo - junior Mountie
Paul Machnau - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Rob Sluggo Boyce - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Bobby Dekeyzer - polite young man, might kill people w/ piano wire
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anyone else see ronnie sandoval looking like a dejected office worker with dreams that have been whittled away by the monotony of a 9-5? got that vibe from a halloween hellride vid
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Janoski works at Starbucks and somehow seems happy about it
Jerry Hsu works at Starbucks and does not
Templeton brings his laptop to Starbucks every day and is still working up the courage to purposely spill hot coffee in his lap and sue
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Wade Desarmo - Mountie
Antoin Asselin - Mountie
Ryan Decenzo - Mountie
Scott Decenzo - junior Mountie
Paul Machnau - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Rob Sluggo Boyce - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Bobby Dekeyzer - polite young man, might kill people w/ piano wire
you win, my friend. game over.
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Dane Vaughn is going to get fired from his cashier job at H&M if he shows up late on saturday again.
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Chris Haslam - Sasquatch
Dave Bachinsky - Hunter
Greg Lutzka - Zumiez Manager
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Bobby Worrest - Garbage Man
Corey Duffel - Enthusiastic Record Shop employee
Nyjah - Trampoline park supervisor
Tommy Sandoval - Head Shop Owner
Josh Kalis - Jiffy Lube Manager
Dan Drehobl - Camel Rep at the Gas Station
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AVE - motorcycle mechanic
Lutzka - enterprise software sales (if you think I'm off base, you haven't met someone that does this job)
Steve Olson (not Shorty's) - slaughterhouse employee
Steve Olson (Shorty's) - guy protesting the other Steve Olson's place of work
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Cab is the owner of a landscaping company.
Kyle Walker works at a call center and does Xanax
Riley Hawk plays in a shitty band and works at a skateshop
Tfunk is a no nonsense baseball prodigy from Idaho who bullies kids and hates school
Berra is a vice principal at a middle school who is a little too passionate about his job, Professor Shmitt is the bus driver and Nora teaches first grade.
Ishod is the upbeat guy at the gas station who turns into your homie over time.
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Andrew Allen - math teacher
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jamie foy is on a tv show w/ the guy from eastbound and down
gershon is a gym coach
ethan fowler is an unhelpful clerk
ryan gallant is the babysitter you have a bad feeling about leaving your kids w/
boozentits is a barback at cheers
dill is a male model
AVE bounces at roadhouse
ricky o is a pediatrician
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Greco- horse track bookee
Rowan- guitar center manager
Nick Dompierre- works at a GNC and sells HGH under the table to regular customers he thinks are "chill"
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Doug "Pineapple" Saladino would definitely make a great chimney sweep.
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Greco - Part Time Halloween/Costume store worker and unsuccessful aspiring actor.
Reynolds - Starbucks barista
Ellington - Cart attendant at a grocery store that always shows up late and has a different excuse every time.
Figgy - Bum
Provost - NASCAR driver
Keelan - After school program instructor
PJ Ladd - Mime
AO - Porn director
Steve Olson - Ron Jeremy
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Dee from baker is the guy working at a movie theatre who asks you if you want butter on your popcorn 5 times then still puts butter on it even though you said no all 5 times
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Paul Rodriguez - works at foot locker
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AVE - motorcycle mechanic
Lutzka - enterprise software sales (if you think I'm off base, you haven't met someone that does this job)
Steve Olson (not Shorty's) - slaughterhouse employee
Steve Olson (Shorty's) - guy protesting the other Steve Olson's place of work
YES
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Geoff Rowley - United Airlines security officer
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I feel like the answers in this thread are what's going to end up being used for the intro of Skate 4 if it ever happens.
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Chris roberts- therapist
Rob drydik-car salesman
Mullen-astro-physicists for nasa
Peter smolik-owner/head chef at smolikin hot BBQ 4 life
Jamie thomas- counselor at a Christian based youth-risk help center
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AVE - motorcycle mechanic
Lutzka - enterprise software sales (if you think I'm off base, you haven't met someone that does this job)
Steve Olson (not Shorty's) - slaughterhouse employee
Steve Olson (Shorty's) - guy protesting the other Steve Olson's place of work
Alex's dad
Paul Rodriguez: Brazilian soccer player.
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gilbert crockett - stevedore
neen williams - personal trainer/lifestyle coach
clint walker - high school football equipment manager
reynolds - restaurant manager and aa/na sponsor
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young boo boo--- Migos ghost writer
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Bobby Worrest - Garbage Man
Corey Duffel - Enthusiastic Record Shop employee
Nyjah - Trampoline park supervisor
Tommy Sandoval - Head Shop Owner
Josh Kalis - Jiffy Lube Manager
Dan Drehobl - Camel Rep at the Gas Station
Haha fuuuuckkk
Greco - Part Time Halloween/Costume store worker and unsuccessful aspiring actor.
Reynolds - Starbucks barista
Ellington - Cart attendant at a grocery store that always shows up late and has a different excuse every time.
Figgy - Bum
Provost - NASCAR driver
Keelan - After school program instructor
PJ Ladd - Mime
AO - Porn director
Steve Olson - Ron Jeremy
gahhhdamn
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Gerwer - construction labourer
Gustav - yoga teacher
Evan Smith - tree planter
Malto - finishing high school
MJ - fry cook
Sammy Baca - lowrider enthusiasts club president
(https://theboardr.blob.core.windows.net/headshots/658_900.jpg)
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ben kadow - danny vinyard
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ben kadow - danny vinyard
andy roy - derek vinyard
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Torey Pudwill works at a vape shop with Boo Johnson but neither gets paid or is actually employed there.
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Current Chad Muska an actor playing the character Tom Waits played in Bram Stokers Dracula.
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jamie foy is on a tv show w/ the guy from eastbound and down
gershon is a gym coach
ethan fowler is an unhelpful clerk
ryan gallant is the babysitter you have a bad feeling about leaving your kids w/
boozentits is a barback at cheers
dill is a male model
AVE bounces at roadhouse
ricky o is a pediatrician
Close enough
(http://static.tvgcdn.net/mediabin/galleries/shows/a_f/ea_eh/eastbound_and_down/season2/eastbound-down26.jpg)
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Gustav - playing soccer right beside ibrahimovic
Dolan stearns - tattoo artist
figgy - hitch hiking cross country
Ronnie sandoval - mechanic
Nyjah - motocross
jaws - freak show
sebo - in university studying science
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Fred Gall is out behind the building wearing a dirty apron and drinking a beer. Not sure what he does though...
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jamie thomas reminds me of a guy working at an army navy store or gas station attendant
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Louie Barletta - clown at kids' parties
David Loy - spraying the shoes at a bowling alley
Heath - guiding expeditions through the Amazon/Everest etc.
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Leticia - leave it up to your imagination ;)
JK - guy that has taught English for more than 10 years in Japan and still can't speak Japanese, hangs out in expat bars and collects anime dolls in his spare time
Heath - Serial Killer
Dill - creepy uncle
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JK - guy that has taught English for more than 10 years in Japan and still can't speak Japanese, hangs out in expat bar and collects anime dolls in his spare time
Holy shit it's too real
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Greco- horse track bookee
Nick Dompierre- works at a GNC and sells HGH under the table to regular customers he thinks are "chill"
these two made me chuckle
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Dill works in an adult bookstore
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Expand Quote
JK - guy that has taught English for more than 10 years in Japan and still can't speak Japanese, hangs out in expat bars and collects anime dolls in his spare time
Holy shit it's too real
I see a lot of them around!
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B.A. - lifeguard
Daewon - Ups delivery guy
Chris Russel - Succesful Snap-on tools rep.
Lizard - door to door sales, top producer
Cody Mac - lead bartender at lesbian bar
Brezinski - Orange Julius technician
Gravette - Manager at Petsmart
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Marc Johnson - patient transport at urgent care
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john cardiel - trader joe's
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Andrew Allen: cashier at bowling alley
Ed Templeton: owner of vegan bakery...just sits at the table closest to the bathroom, scarfing down cake, looking like an ashamed cat.
Nyjah: cashier at Lids
Miles Silvas: wipes down loads in the sauna room of a spa
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What would your favorite pro do for a living if he wasn't a skater? What does his appearance imply what he might do as an occupation if he wasn't pro?
Zion Wright, - Tiger's golf caddy
Lucas Puig- lifestyle blogger
Nak- Soundcloud rapper (oh wait)
Foy- Factory worker or Milkman
Biebel- jarhead
Carroll- Manager at a call center
Dill- Butcher
Gonz- Janitor at an elementary school. Skates the empty schoolyard after his shifts to the dismay of teachers and parents
Reynolds- Real estate agent
Koston- T Mobile Customer Service
nailed it
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Dave Bachinsky - Drywall Guy (perpetually covered in dust)
Jordan Maxham - Shady weed connection
Chico Brenes - Runs a medium sized independent grocery
Nora - Works in your office, openly hates you
Tommy Guerrero - DHL delivery, wears large earphones
Chalba - outfitter/fishing guide at edge of North Cackalakey wilderness
Duffel - Record store clerk
TNT - Tire shop guy, glares at boss when told to do something
Lance Mountain - Gardener
Tony Hawk - Top Realtor in Bakersfield, three years running!
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Pat Burke - Haight Ashbury burnout
Frecks - Butcher
Ray Barbee - Whole Foods shift manager
Dj Gaudin - Burger King cashier
Chris Cole - Guitar specialist at Guitar Center. Also plays in Scorpions cover band
Salman Agah - Busdriver
Slash - Sells cheese at farmer's markets
Spencer Nuzzi - Zumiez
Darrell Stanton - Token black dude in your favorite sitcom
Chase Gabor - Home Depot
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Ben Kadow - Singer for the Smashing Pumpkins
Puleo - microbrewery beer snob (insert joke about cellar doors): his "locals only" attitude and all his crazy little rules would translate perfectly to the world of beer snobbery
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Andrew Allen - math teacher
Favorite skater dream career
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The Butcher - a butcher
Frankie Heck - holder of the Lucasian Chair of Mathematics
^Just wanted to drop Frankie Heck's name since he's awesome.
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Lizard king works in the Braille warehouse
Tom penny delivers flowers to bodegas
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Doug Brown- Evangelical mega church preacher
Manny Santiago - Minor league baseball player, in his late 30s but keeping the dream alive
Rodney Mullen - Brilliant university mathmatics professor, unappreciated by his students. Becomes dejected, retreats to cabin and begins mailing expolosives
Pat Sinner Twirls the "pay day loans" sign on the side of the road, but its cool 'cause he gets to show of his latest rave moves
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rodney would freestyle under a bridge in any scenario as he invented flying buttresses
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Lacey Baker- Paints portraits of nude Donald Trump using her menstrual blood
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Mike Vallely-Concert Security
David Gravette-Prize stand at Chuck E Cheese
Billy Marks -Costco stock
Blake Carpenter -Best Buy employee (probably tv's?)
Greco -Pawn store owner
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Andrew Allen: cashier at bowling alley
Ed Templeton: owner of vegan bakery...just sits at the table closest to the bathroom, scarfing down cake, looking like an ashamed cat.
Nyjah: cashier at Lids
Miles Silvas: wipes down loads in the sauna room of a spa
Hahaha! This is perfect.
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Lacey Baker- Paints portraits of nude Donald Trump using her menstrual blood
Hahahahaha perfect
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Koston- T Mobile Customer Service
The internet just apexed.
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Fred Gall is out behind the building wearing a dirty apron and drinking a beer. Not sure what he does though...
Holy fuck. Perfect.
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Spencer Nuzzi - Zumiez
This thread is brilliant, and you guys are killing it. Case in point ^.
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Dill = John Waters
Gary Rogers = stunt double for Whoopi Goldberg
Nyjah = edgy Applebee's bartender
Gurney = Host of MTV's Headbanger's Ball and/or Megadeth roadie
Grant Taylor = Irish Folk Dance Instructor (always a little bit drunk)
Gerwer = 1970's Game Show Host, or contestant. Not sure which.
Lucero = That one older guy who works at every Apple Store
Grosso = Marlon Brando, later years
Kwalks = with that trash 'stace...level 3 sex offender.
BA = bartender at a hipster gay bar in Williamsberg
Jason Adams = extra in Rebel Without a Cause, still trying to make a "breakout" in Hollywood
Preston M. = Actually, the most interesting person in the world (I knew and skated with him. Dude was unlike any other person that ever existed)
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Alex Olson: bartender at gay strip-club
Sheckler: Pac Sun employee
Jon Dickson: mechanic
Eli Reed: sales associate at a sex shop
Ramondetta: lumberjack
Marc Johnson: owner of a failing, hipster bookstore
all the guys that are really into EDM: coat check at club
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Sheckler - breaking bad cooking meth in the rv
Kareem - selling dope for the boy
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Expand Quote
ben kadow - danny vinyard
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/223406259255246849/406417423449980928/unknown.png)
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^^ Is that Raybourn? Thats fucking sick, where is that footage from
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^^ Is that Raybourn? Thats fucking sick, where is that footage from
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AdYPSDjIc0
so fucking jacked i dont even know what youd call it? it's like a flyout mute tap to fakie without turning?
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Stu Graham would make a great ice cream man.
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Louie Barletta would be an English professor at the local community college and his "office hours" would just be grabbing a beer at the nearby tavern.
Dakota Servold would be a student at the local community college and would decline offers for "office hours" despite how desperately he could use them.
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Silas works the floor at Cabellas.
Cardiel sells home speakers out of a white van.
Gonz works the nightshift at the airport.
BA is a UPS driver that wears shorts year round.
Lutzka is a correctional officer who tries to level with inmates and brings them in contraband to win friends.
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Always thought some (not all) of these were very fitting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HB1t8LppQs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU317jQ_pSU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98Mf1bsDKeY
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Greco - mob
Sinner - pub crawl
Antwuan - jail
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I have to admit... I saw the title of this thread and thought, "really?". Well, shame on me because this is hilarious.
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Penny- rap DJ/producer
Jake Hayes- bartender at craft brewery
Boo Johnson- retail clothes employee / weed dealer
Lacey- barista/artist
Leticia- VHS ERA’s housewife
Koston- High school guidance counselor
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Jamie Foy- baggage handler for southwest
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Penny- rap DJ/producer
Jake Hayes- bartender at craft brewery
Boo Johnson- retail clothes employee / weed dealer
Lacey- barista/artist
Leticia- VHS ERA’s housewife
Koston- High school guidance counselor
"Kill yourself!"
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reda - shitty detective
WHO DID IT WHO DID IT WHO DID IT WHO DID IT WHO DID IT WHO DID IT
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Mikemo’s going to end up “working from home” meaning he’s going to sell some health product through an Instagram pyramid scheme.
Yaje will be an ayahuasca shaman after he retires and heads back to Brazil.
Dill is a short story writer/anecdotal contributer to skate magazines a la Dave Carnie.
Heath is paid just to exist.
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Stranger is the Captain of a tug boat.
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Kevin Rodrigues and Ben K are the only two male workers at their respective Urban Outfitters
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Forest Edwards- blockbuster employee
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Forest Edwards- blockbuster employee
So... unemployed?
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Expand Quote
Forest Edwards- blockbuster employee
(http://skateparkoftampa.com/spot/headshots/5016.jpg)
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Mike Mo- Youtuber
Daveed Gonzales- Female stunt double
Tyshawn- NBA star
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skateboarder already did this.. had scott johonston in a hazmat suit or something like that.
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Lucero- when you were a kid, he was your dads cool friend that sometimes convinced him to smoke weed
Dill is that recluse neighbor you know nothing about
Evan Smiths works at whole foods with no aspirations other than to "travel"
Lacey Baker- disgruntled liberal call center employee sick of hearing old white men disrespect her
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Jim Greco - Used car salesman
Steez Ortiz - Pizza delivery
Zigram - Warehouse job
Matt Field - guided tours for groups around SF
Alexis Sablone - UPS
Lizzie - Cashier
Kenny Anderson - Teacher
Sean Pablo - movie extra. Peak of his career was as one of the lost kids in Hook
BA - Plumber
Tony Hawk - Together with Lucero, that old guy at the Apple Store
Andrew Allen - Porn star
Frank Gerwer - Taxi driver
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Daveed Gonzales- Female stunt double
I thought Michelle Rodriguez looked strange doing that diving roll...
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Shawn Powers - Sells shoe cleaner at a kiosk in the mall
Lizard King - Works register at a smoke shop and supplies teenagers with alcohol
Sluggo - P.E. teacher and wrestling coach
Heath Kirchart - Tour guide at national park
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Giovinny Reda would be a $4.25 an Hour Bitch !!!!
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Bobby Worrest - Garbage Man
i dono, we used to always called tucci the garbage man.
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Ricky Oyola - truck driver
Bobby Puleo - bike messenger
Jon Newport - Giant Taco
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Tom Penny - sells decent ecstasy at raves by night, voice actor for kids tv show by day
Clint Walker - peaked in high school, sells meth at truck stops
Dill - enthusiastic sex shop employee / John Waters lookalike
AA - make a wish foundation dream fulfiller
Jordan Taylor - supporting role as the quirky bff in a romcom
Klein - anime porn addict/illustrator
Bobby Puleo - yells "repent, the end is near" at people in the subway.
Swan Pablo - still copying Dylan
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Crob: Taco Bell Manager
Silas Baxter Neal: Shepherd
Dustin Dollin: Mohel
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Ricky Oyola - truck driver
Bobby Puleo - bike messenger
Jon Newport - Giant Taco
Amazing.
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The Gonz, Blender & Jason jessee would be in a Mental Hospital furr sure.....Almost forgot about Rodney Mullen being in there with that Posse
Phelper - Would be a pic Gerwer takes for his IG..Maybe a selfie
Andy Mac - Would be a counselor at the YMCA
Muska & Penny - Would be themselves
Burnquist - Would be a contortionist
Dan Pageau- Would still be eating shit off that attempt on the SS back board slide on EL Toro & asking for money on a gofundme
Bucky Lasek - Would still be working in Tony Hawks shadow
Gator - Would still be in Prison
Ronnie Creager - Would be a Local Golf Pro at the Range
Dave Bachinsky - Would be a Big Game Hunter ( The kind that sprays Elk Urine on them selves)
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Nyjah - Trampoline park supervisor
Gold!!!
I can picture almost every pro as a UPS man somehow.
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The Gonz, Blender & Jason jessee would be in a Mental Hospital furr sure.....Almost forgot about Rodney Mullen being in there with that Posse
Phelper - Would be a pic Gerwer takes for his IG..Maybe a selfie
Andy Mac - Would be a counselor at the YMCA
Muska & Penny - Would be themselves
Burnquist - Would be a contortionist
Dan Pageau- Would still be eating shit off that attempt on the SS back board slide on EL Toro & asking for money on a gofundme
Bucky Lasek - Would still be working in Tony Hawks shadow
Gator - Would still be in Prison
Ronnie Creager - Would be a Local Golf Pro at the Range
Dave Bachinsky - Would be a Big Game Hunter ( The kind that sprays Elk Urine on them selves)
It was a switch frontboard. Get it together
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That's what triggered you?
You are Clearly Canadian...And I'm not talking about the amazing early 90's Sparkling Flavored water...I'd like to wet my whistle with some of that right now!
Expand Quote
The Gonz, Blender & Jason jessee would be in a Mental Hospital furr sure.....Almost forgot about Rodney Mullen being in there with that Posse
Phelper - Would be a pic Gerwer takes for his IG..Maybe a selfie
Andy Mac - Would be a counselor at the YMCA
Muska & Penny - Would be themselves
Burnquist - Would be a contortionist
Dan Pageau- Would still be eating shit off that attempt on the SS back board slide on EL Toro & asking for money on a gofundme
Bucky Lasek - Would still be working in Tony Hawks shadow
Gator - Would still be in Prison
Ronnie Creager - Would be a Local Golf Pro at the Range
Dave Bachinsky - Would be a Big Game Hunter ( The kind that sprays Elk Urine on them selves)
It was a switch frontboard. Get it together
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Rick McCrank - making a traveling show for a stupid cabel network, oh fuck
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Mike Sinclair- One kind of IT guy
Gonz- The other kind of IT guy
Johnny Layton- Professional skateboarder
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Swan Pablo-Drag queen barback
Chris Cole- Pro Rollerblader
Lizard King-Cart pusher at Walmart
Ryan Sheckler-Gay pornstar
Chris Jolson-Basically cricket from Always Sunny
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Swan Pablo-Drag queen barback
Chris Cole- Pro Rollerblader
Lizard King-Cart pusher at Walmart
Ryan Sheckler-Gay pornstar
Chris Jolson-Basically cricket from Always Sunny
Cole is killing it on a regular
(https://i.imgur.com/7R4KWvW.jpg)
(https://i.imgur.com/jLHyami.jpg)
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Nyjah as a youtuber - fitness instruction-and nutrition and diet advicing
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Reda- crooked cop.
David Gonzalez- pawn shop musical gear specialist
Bobby Puleo- Guy in the warehouse that's been there for 16 years, never really talked to anybody, and three days into your working there decides YOU'RE the guy he's gonna befriend and tell you all of his batshit ideas because you "seem like you GET IT."
Jamie Thomas- Air Force Recruiter
Berra- Middle management for an industrial supply company.
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mike mo - paul walker working at the racers edge in the first fnf movie
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(https://i.imgur.com/AganezX.png)
Paul Rodriguez - That Target employee who works in stock in the back. He's super chill, claims this isn't a long-term gig but he's been working there for 4 years. Works on his flatground game in the back during his breaks.
Favorite Quote - "Sorry, we don't have extra sizes in the back."
Curren Caples - The new cashier that all the other female employees think is really cute. He's a junior in High School and lives in the suburbs and just works two 4-hour shifts a week to pay for gas for the Hyundai Elantra his parents just bought him. He was really stoked to find out that Paul skates. Later, a teen girl shopper will secretly take a photo of him bagging her stuff and post it to Instragram, the pic goes viral #CurrentFromTarget
Favorite Quote - "Would you like to save 5% by signing up for a Target RedCard?"
Shaun White - The store manager who tries to still act younger than he is to try and relate to his employees. Beneath the surface, he's stressed out from corporate about meeting year-end sales goals. He recently graduated from community college with a Bachelors in Business Management, during his last year he visited the Target table at the student union job fair and that's when he decided to join the Target Management Program. He hopes to become a District Manager within 5 years.
Favorite Quote - "Target isn't just a job, it's my family and the career I've always wanted (slightly hesitates)."
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braydon szafranski - dog the bounty hunter
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(https://i.imgur.com/AganezX.png)
Paul Rodriguez - That Target employee who works in stock in the back. He's super chill, claims this isn't a long-term gig but he's been working there for 4 years. Works on his flatground game in the back during his breaks.
Favorite Quote - "Sorry, we don't have extra sizes in the back."
Curren Caples - The new cashier that all the other female employees think is really cute. He's a junior in High School and lives in the suburbs and just works two 4-hour shifts a week to pay for gas for the Hyundai Elantra his parents just bought him. He was really stoked to find out that Paul skates. Later, a teen girl shopper will secretly take a photo of him bagging her stuff and post it to Instragram, the pic goes viral #CurrentFromTarget
Favorite Quote - "Would you like to save 5% by signing up for a Target RedCard?"
Shaun White - The store manager who tries to still act younger than he is to try and relate to his employees. Beneath the surface, he's stressed out from corporate about meeting year-end sales goals. He recently graduated from community college with a Bachelors in Business Management, during his last year he visited the Target table at the student union job fair and that's when he decided to join the Target Management Program. He hopes to become a District Manager within 5 years.
Favorite Quote - "Target isn't just a job, it's my family and the career I've always wanted (slightly hesitates)."
10/10
Shaun White also is the creepy manager who tries to sleep with every female employee the local afterwork watering hole
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Always thought some (not all) of these were very fitting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HB1t8LppQs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU317jQ_pSU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98Mf1bsDKeY
Wtf... Ryan Smith was in not one, but THREE video games.
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Brad Staba- Food truck operator
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louie barletta - highschool IT admin
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Louie-pre school teacher
Theotis- elementary school teacher
Jason Adams- line dance instructor
Mark Suciu- founder of a tech start up, wears a black turtleneck
Wes Kremer- jumps around between service jobs and occasionally sells weed, spends most of his day smoking weed near the beach, has no ambitions because he loves the beach life
Matt Field- trims weed up in Humboldt every october/november and somehow lives off the money for the rest of the year. Ran outnof couches to stay on years ago
Lizard King- lift operator in park city- will let you ride for free if you kick down some nugs bro
Neen- women pay him to help them release their chakras through sex therapy
Chris Joslin- still hangs out at the skatepark, but focuses more on smokin cigs
Heath- hitman
Huf- works on wall street
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Jasson Jesse - Apprentice builder
PRod - Roller coaster operator
Mullen - Street puppeteer
Terry Kennedy - Footlocker
David Gravette - Carnie
Lucero - Airport passport check/rental cars
Tony Hawk - Enthusiastic owner operator of a Subway restaurant with wife/kids working as employee's
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Mikey Taylor - number 11 in the third race at Flemington, paying $17
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Expand Quote
(https://i.imgur.com/AganezX.png)
Paul Rodriguez - That Target employee who works in stock in the back. He's super chill, claims this isn't a long-term gig but he's been working there for 4 years. Works on his flatground game in the back during his breaks.
Favorite Quote - "Sorry, we don't have extra sizes in the back."
Curren Caples - The new cashier that all the other female employees think is really cute. He's a junior in High School and lives in the suburbs and just works two 4-hour shifts a week to pay for gas for the Hyundai Elantra his parents just bought him. He was really stoked to find out that Paul skates. Later, a teen girl shopper will secretly take a photo of him bagging her stuff and post it to Instragram, the pic goes viral #CurrentFromTarget
Favorite Quote - "Would you like to save 5% by signing up for a Target RedCard?"
Shaun White - The store manager who tries to still act younger than he is to try and relate to his employees. Beneath the surface, he's stressed out from corporate about meeting year-end sales goals. He recently graduated from community college with a Bachelors in Business Management, during his last year he visited the Target table at the student union job fair and that's when he decided to join the Target Management Program. He hopes to become a District Manager within 5 years.
Favorite Quote - "Target isn't just a job, it's my family and the career I've always wanted (slightly hesitates)."
10/10
Shaun White also is the creepy manager who tries to sleep with every female employee the local afterwork watering hole
which we should mention is like an applebee's on the other side of the strip mall parking lot, and he's been kicked out for being too drunk and aggressive with the waitresses multiple times.
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Tony Trujillo—is manager of a shitty strip club. He’s always doing coke in the back room. When he runs out, he gets pissed off and starts breaking shit, until his wife gives him a shot of Wells whiskey that is mixed with Xanax. Obviously, when a stripper refuses to have sex with him, he immediately fires her.
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Janoski works at Starbucks and somehow seems happy about it
Jerry Hsu works at Starbucks and does not
Templeton brings his laptop to Starbucks every day and is still working up the courage to purposely spill hot coffee in his lap and HSU
fix'd
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Neen would replace the street performer Rasta Yogi in a box on Pearl Street Boulder
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Cody Mac: tanning salon
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Expand Quote
Janoski works at Starbucks and somehow seems happy about it
Jerry Hsu works at Starbucks and does not
Templeton brings his laptop to Starbucks every day and is still working up the courage to purposely spill hot coffee in his lap and HSU
fix'd
h
Hsu is actually pronounced like "win".
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Cody Mac: tanning salon
I could see him running a belt buckle kiosk at a mall that nobody really goes to anymore. The kind that also sells giant bootleg volcom stickers that are proportioned all wrong.
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Ben Gilley- Stunt double for Astaroth
Jub- Speaks to high school students about the dangers of large retaining walls
Pat Rakestraw- Spokesperson for an anti-masochism foundation called "Label Kills"
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Leo Valls - Mimer
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
(https://i.imgur.com/AganezX.png)
Paul Rodriguez - That Target employee who works in stock in the back. He's super chill, claims this isn't a long-term gig but he's been working there for 4 years. Works on his flatground game in the back during his breaks.
Favorite Quote - "Sorry, we don't have extra sizes in the back."
Curren Caples - The new cashier that all the other female employees think is really cute. He's a junior in High School and lives in the suburbs and just works two 4-hour shifts a week to pay for gas for the Hyundai Elantra his parents just bought him. He was really stoked to find out that Paul skates. Later, a teen girl shopper will secretly take a photo of him bagging her stuff and post it to Instragram, the pic goes viral #CurrentFromTarget
Favorite Quote - "Would you like to save 5% by signing up for a Target RedCard?"
Shaun White - The store manager who tries to still act younger than he is to try and relate to his employees. Beneath the surface, he's stressed out from corporate about meeting year-end sales goals. He recently graduated from community college with a Bachelors in Business Management, during his last year he visited the Target table at the student union job fair and that's when he decided to join the Target Management Program. He hopes to become a District Manager within 5 years.
Favorite Quote - "Target isn't just a job, it's my family and the career I've always wanted (slightly hesitates)."
10/10
Shaun White also is the creepy manager who tries to sleep with every female employee the local afterwork watering hole
which we should mention is like an applebee's on the other side of the strip mall parking lot, and he's been kicked out for being too drunk and aggressive with the waitresses multiple times.
:D :D :D
thanks guys
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(https://i.imgur.com/kCtTjkN.jpg)
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Fuck
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(https://i.imgur.com/kCtTjkN.jpg)
This looks like a press photo for a collaborative television program featuring Lil Mormon's living in a house.
presented by @target and @thechurchofjesuschristoflatterdaysaints
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shawn white used to have the high score in donkey kong and he also has a line of hot sauce that he claims is the best.
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shawn white used to have the high score in donkey kong and he also has a line of hot sauce that he claims is the best.
Hahaha "The Hope og Slope"
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(http://photobucket.com/confirmation?token=s3esRtOr2IzTCLy%2FMcqkRH7TQdsE2YFq7iaLxjG5zbytoSfSx%2FkDaeXi0yjmuj7YIE2%2FXpMnjy8gDgPXE0UHE%2F5ZYV%2B%2FVgfb)
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Nestor Judkins - looks like the temp of an office job that's just a little TOO talkative, but you deal with him because he hates the Patriots too.
Sage - works at the longstanding pizzeria in a college town.
Evan Smith - Gamestop employee that act likes working at gamestop makes him the ultimate gamer.
Neen - you think he is some stoner whole foods dude but he tricks you and works at some new age church and tries to convert you.
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Wade Desarmo - Mountie
Antoin Asselin - Mountie
Ryan Decenzo - Mountie
Scott Decenzo - junior Mountie
Paul Machnau - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Rob Sluggo Boyce - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Bobby Dekeyzer - polite young man, might kill people w/ piano wire
Hahahahahahahahaah
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Bumping this thread because it is funny and im bored at work.
Raven- Works at a landscaping company, eats gnarly 711 food from the grill on his lunch breaks while taking a picture of the work truck he and 2 others piled into with the # #workgrind
Jack Olson - 17 yr old pizza shop employee. He can fakie tre but not regular.
Joey Brezinski is a house flipper and is too enthusiastic about it.
Luan - is an extremely patient and helpful troubleshooting specialist.
Chris Colbourn is a quiet mailman, nodding politely each day to the citizens of the neighborhood, building a level of rapport and trust since graduating from the neighborhood paperboy as a youth.
Feedback TS spends his days reprimanding troubled youth in an alternative school for bad kids.
Ishod is the homie who works the night shift at your local gas station, and doesn't ID you anymore. He never did.
Winkowski- Handles and takes care for all of the reptiles in the reptile exhibit at the Zoo. He wears khaki cargo shorts and speaks very little, constantly squinting his eyes.
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Rob Dyrdek: D-List Actor
Andy Roy: Meth Dealer and User
Louie Barletta: Wig Sales Man
Brandon Biebal: GNC or Gold Gym Sales Rep
Jason Jesse: Trump Supporter and Volunteer
Alex Olson: Some hipster store in New York that sells $200 t shirts in the village
Nora: Telemarketer
Neen: Cook/Chef
That whole late 90's Baker Crew aka the piss drunks: All of them are look like they would be AA counselors.
Ishod: Action Movie Stars son in movies
Kader: Token Black kid in old navy ads.
Steve Olson: Walmart Greeter who also breaks the rules
ManRamp: Construction worker and florist
Julien Davidson: In a Cristian Rock Band
Jamie Foy: Airline Baggage Handler
Chad Muska: Gap manager
Bam Margera: Beer Delivery Driver
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Nyjah = yoga instructor
Luan = waiter at a fancy restaurant
Chris Milic + jesse alba = slacker cinema workers
Austyn Gillette = low level call centre employee
tony trujillo = sells crashed cars for parts
shaun powers = door to door salesman
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BA- Priest
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unemployment
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Jaws - Professional Swimmer
Nate Jones - Bartender
Eli Reed - Line Cook
Suciu - Engineer
Corey Duffel Elijah Berle - Hot Topic Employee
Grant Taylor Elijah Berle - Car Mechanic
Nora - Lactation Consultant
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Kyle Walker- grocery bagger/shopping cart retriever
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Austyn Gillette = low level call centre employee
That's cold-blooded. Palm reader in New Orleans would be better.
Nate Jones - Bartender
He actually is a bartender.
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Expand Quote
Austyn Gillette = low level call centre employee
That's cold-blooded. Palm reader in New Orleans would be better.
He actually is a bartender.
Wouldnt doubt if it was in SF as well...
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Leticia is an instagram 'model' with her own line of leggings
Weck is a gym bro who sells steroids in the locker room
DNavs owns/works/secretly lives in a band rehearsal space
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The Chief- Enlisted military retiree who is now is the president of a veteran biker club who takes it unusually seriously
Cobra Cole- Christian rock band guitar player
P-rod- Car salesmen
Gonz- Elementary school art teacher
Provost- Pep boys tire technician
Figgy- Little league baseball coach in the southeast (smoky mountain area)
kelly Hart- Dutch Bros barista
Gravette- mate on a salmon fishing guide boat
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Nyjah - Trampoline park supervisor
Hahaha. I didn’t even know that was a job. Made me laugh out loud though.
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John Cardiel & Julian Stranger - Co-owners of J&J Pool service, they have nights and weekends off to skate and are living the dream.
Gino Iannucci - Hosts of a Pizza show on the Vice channel
Sean Sheffy - Celebrity Life Coach
Natas Kaupas - Teaches art classes and Lithuanian folk dancing at the senior center.
TNT - Assistant Manager at Hot Topic.
Chris Cole - Roller Derby Coach
Rudy Johnson - Yogurt inspector
Nyjah, Sheckler, & Jereme Rogers - Boy Band
Gonz - Senator Mark Gonzales (R) CA
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Tyson Peterson attendant at a thrift store in Long Beach
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Jordan Maxham: spends 10.5 out of 12 months a year in county lockup but not for more than 6 weeks at a time; has a deal worked out where an obese female guard sits on his face in exchange for smuggling oxys in her shitter.
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Swan Pablo- pushy salesmen at a mall kiosk
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dill could make for a nice mannequin at a high end clothing store.
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Terry Kennedy: gang member turned youth worker/born again christian
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Rob Dyrdek: D-List Actor
Andy Roy: Meth Dealer and User
Louie Barletta: Wig Sales Man
Brandon Biebal: GNC or Gold Gym Sales Rep
Jason Jesse: Trump Supporter and Volunteer
Alex Olson: Some hipster store in New York that sells $200 t shirts in the village
Nora: Telemarketer
Neen: Cook/Chef
That whole late 90's Baker Crew aka the piss drunks: All of them are look like they would be AA counselors.
Ishod: Action Movie Stars son in movies
Kader: Token Black kid in old navy ads.
Steve Olson: Walmart Greeter who also breaks the rules
ManRamp: Construction worker and florist
Julien Davidson: In a Cristian Rock Band
Jamie Foy: Airline Baggage Handler
Chad Muska: Gap manager
Bam Margera: Beer Delivery Driver
Nailed it.
;D ;D ;D
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FA Dill - group therapy leader.
Skatemore Dill- freelance, cash-only pool cleaner and landscaper.
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jamie thomas - former army sergeant, can't quite let it go, now runs the local VFW hall and lets kids throw metal shows but gets really pissed when they mosh
grosso - long haul truck driver who spends most of his time at loves across the country chain smoking and trying to talk to people
gino - really unassuming local butcher in a small town. he charges a little too much, but people still go there because their parents always went there and he has the best stuff. politely talks boxing with older customers, but never for too long
greco - employee at gino's butcher shop. talks way too much about movies with customers. people pretend to not hear him call their number
shane heyl - bounces from warehouse job to warehouse job. always tries to party with the college kids working in the warehouse as summer jobs. doesn't usually work out.
andrew allen - works at a tattoo shop and lives with 4 other people. you move in to save money on rent for a little. he doesn't really talk to you much and eats meals in his room. pays his bills on time but occasionally leaves laundry in the dryer for 3 days and really jams you up
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Austyn Gillette-works at starbucks
Arto Saari-pornstar
Dane Vaughn-gay pornstar
Alex Olson-pornstar
Nora-kinderkarten teacher
Reynolds-car mechanic
Jamal Smith-weed dealer
Evan Smith-guy who works different kind of part time jobs and do lot of acid
Nyjah Huston- unemployed guy who live his mom basement
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Austyn Gillette-works at starbucks
Arto Saari-pornstar
Dane Vaughn-gay pornstar
Alex Olson-pornstar
Nora-kinderkarten teacher
Reynolds-car mechanic
Jamal Smith-weed dealer
Evan Smith-guy who works different kind of part time jobs and do lot of acid
Nyjah Huston- unemployed guy who live his mom basement
try again
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Terry Kennedy: gang member turned youth worker/born again christian converted to judaism, shalom.
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Brian Anderson (current iteration) - one of those people who designs the window display at Macy's
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Jamie Foy-Taco Bell
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Wade Desarmo - Mountie
Antoin Asselin - Mountie
Ryan Decenzo - Mountie
Scott Decenzo - junior Mountie
Paul Machnau - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Rob Sluggo Boyce - Hockey, enforcer, basically Tie Domi
Bobby Dekeyzer - polite young man, might kill people w/ piano wire
Haha Friggin' Eh :)
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Tfunk just threw a snowball at you from across the street and it hit you in the chest. When you looked at him he just scrunched his nose up and snickered.
WhoKid is the teachers aide and tries to sell you adderall between classes.
Hosoi is an overly enthusiastic 3rd base-coach for his sons baseball team.
Grosso is the umpire.
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Chris Pastras- Yo Gabba Gabba understudy
PJ Ladd- cabbie
Frank Gerwer- graphic designer
Tom Penny- professional penis model
Ryan Decenzo- Sunglass Hut employee of the month
Antwan Dixon- ice cream truck driver
Stefan Janoski- mattress salesman
Ishod- custodial services
MiMi Knoop- children’s book author
Mark Suciu- Guy on laptop at Starbucks in the middle of the day typing with purpose
Jerry Hsu- Admin assist.
Tosh Townend- professional hacky sacker
Justin Henry- Pokemon collector, expert
Franky Villani- Apple store “genius”
Omar Salazar- poet, bon vivant
Erik Ellington- Social worker
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Richard moulder realtor
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Franky Villani - Freelance contributor to Bloody Disgusting and Dread Central, has a YT vlog he updates infrequently, works at a cutty horror memorabilia shop that's only open on the weekends.
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Austyn Gillette-works at starbucks
Arto Saari-pornstar
Dane Vaughn-gay pornstar
Alex Olson-pornstar
Nora-kinderkarten teacher
Reynolds-car mechanic
Jamal Smith-weed dealer
Evan Smith-guy who works different kind of part time jobs and do lot of acid
Nyjah Huston- unemployed guy who live his mom basement
Jamal Smith made a beat about weed dealers
https://soundcloud.com/epan94/poptartpete-weed-dealers (https://soundcloud.com/epan94/poptartpete-weed-dealers)
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Gino Iannucci playing right wing for the New York Rangers.
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the RANGERS?
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the RANGERS?
Haha! This made laugh. Didn’t Gino had an Islanders board on FA ?
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Andrew Allen would make a great stay at home husband.
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sean pablo would work at an Abercrombie or something equivalent to that.
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Chris Pastras- Yo Gabba Gabba understudy
PJ Ladd- cabbie
Frank Gerwer- graphic designer
Tom Penny- professional penis model
Ryan Decenzo- Sunglass Hut employee of the month
Antwan Dixon- ice cream truck driver
Stefan Janoski- mattress salesman
Ishod- custodial services
MiMi Knoop- children’s book author
Mark Suciu- Guy on laptop at Starbucks in the middle of the day typing with purpose
Jerry Hsu- Admin assist.
Tosh Townend- professional hacky sacker
Justin Henry- Pokemon collector, expert
Franky Villani- Apple store “genius”
Omar Salazar- poet, bon vivant
Erik Ellington- Social worker
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Mikey Taylor. Kentucky Derby Winner.
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P.Rod is working at McDonald's selling his favorite sandwich the McRib
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Bobby worrest - chef from hooters
Leticia Balogne - waitress from hooters
Salmon agah - manager of said hooters
Christian Hosoi - regional manager for hooters
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My baby refuses to fall asleep so fuck it...
Ave - Successful chef at an upscale diner styled restaurant in LA called 'Bingo'. He has a Jay Leno level obsession with vintage cars while his business partner does all the cliche LA shit like do tons of blow and bang the waitresses.
Nak - A YouTube poet whose content is popular in bougie black circles. He gets called out in the blogs every once in a while because he says a bunch of afrocentric stuff but cant leave that white booty alone.
Clark Hassler - Substitute teacher who completely disregards the carefully constructed leason plans to talk to students about how automation will cause an irreversible global economic crisis 15 years from now.
Tyshawn Jones- Works at the local pawn shop where he reluctantly plays good cop when customers try to argue with the shop owner about prices. Job kinda sucks but they dont drug test, and he gets first dibs on all the drum kits that come through.
Sean Malto - Runs a startup with his college buddies from Northern Virginia. They work on an app that allows strangers to offer and request hugs from other strangers. He is somehow doing well despite the app idea being fucking dumb. He has pent up anger from hearing techie white people say racist things to him in confidence, not knowing he's half asian.
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Bobby Puleo- Busboy
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Caswell Berry collects shopping carts
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Richie Jackson fucks kids
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Shit wrong thread
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Any given McClung - Snowboarder