Author Topic: Joke thread  (Read 2625 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Joke thread
« on: July 20, 2018, 03:14:40 PM »
teacher asks the class, who can use the word "before" in a sentence.  DeShawn raises his hand, teacher says, "okay, can you use the word "before" in a sentence?"  DeShawn responds, "two and two be four".

Betaphenylethylalamine

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2002
  • Rep: -84
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2018, 03:43:28 PM »
teacher asks the class, who can use the word "before" in a sentence.  DeShawn raises his hand, teacher says, "okay, can you use the word "before" in a sentence?"  DeShawn responds, "two and two be four".

Can you spell dictate? D...I...c... ok ok ok  can you use it in a sentence? Shawnda, howd my dictate last night?

I'll see myself out

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2018, 04:09:16 PM »
wut do eating pussy and smoking cigarettes have in common?  the closer to the butt you get the worse it tastes.

I sniff Jim Gagne's butthole all the time

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 490
  • Rep: -101
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2018, 04:16:32 PM »

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2018, 05:38:16 PM »
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she’s a slut, but if a man does it… He’s gay, definitely gay.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2018, 05:40:35 PM »
How does a Muslim close the door?  Islams it.


kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2018, 10:17:39 PM »
what do you call a group of mexican stoners?  baked beans.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2018, 10:24:18 PM »
There's a new drug for lesbians on the market to cure depression, it's called Trycoxagain.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2018, 10:29:43 PM »
what does a white woman and a tampon have in common?  theyre both stuck up cunts.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #9 on: July 21, 2018, 05:09:30 PM »
why is it that bars wont serve you if youre drunk, but mcdonalds continues to serve fat people?

behavioralguide

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 602
  • Rep: 99
  • dog stuff
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #10 on: July 21, 2018, 05:17:42 PM »
why is it that bars wont serve you if youre drunk, but mcdonalds continues to serve fat people?

that's just a sad observation

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #11 on: July 21, 2018, 05:21:42 PM »
i asked a chinese girl for her phone number, "sex! sex! sex! free sex tonight!"  I said, "WOW!"  Her friend said, "she means 666-3629."

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2018, 05:22:59 PM »
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2018, 05:24:07 PM »
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

Sad Hippo

  • Guest
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #14 on: July 21, 2018, 06:18:33 PM »

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #15 on: July 21, 2018, 07:23:49 PM »
i bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday- i dont know what he laced them with but i was trippen all day

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #16 on: July 21, 2018, 07:25:18 PM »
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, “Listen Barack, I’m getting older and I’m having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?” Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. “Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama.”

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #17 on: July 21, 2018, 07:27:27 PM »
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F

shark tits

  • Guest
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #18 on: July 21, 2018, 07:28:24 PM »
oh my goodness, you're almost as good as 'bad joke'!
these are terrible but im dying.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #19 on: July 22, 2018, 11:26:59 AM »
two gay guys are having sex when the house catches on fire, which one gets out first, the top or bottom?  the bottom, he's already got his shit packed.

RCB3

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2519
  • Rep: 223
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #20 on: July 22, 2018, 12:48:27 PM »
There's two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says:

"You man the guns, I'll drive."
Irvine-Sucks.com

jomeara1

  • Guest
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #21 on: July 22, 2018, 03:45:44 PM »
How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

SodaJerk

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 7785
  • Rep: 801
  • Butterscotch yo!
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2018, 05:05:12 AM »
So this is just an excuse for kentrock to be racist? Reported.

Alan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 7329
  • Rep: 124
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2018, 05:30:39 AM »
So this is just an excuse for kentrock to be racist? Reported.

Don't, butthole sniffer is enjoying himself and he's not racist, so it's all good.
Hosin' out the cab of his pickup truck
He's got his 8-track playin' really fuckin' loud

SodaJerk

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 7785
  • Rep: 801
  • Butterscotch yo!
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2018, 07:53:49 AM »
So this is just an excuse for kentrock to be racist? Reported.

Don't, butthole sniffer is enjoying himself and he's not racist, so it's all good.

Elderly Gentleman

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 145
  • Rep: 9
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #25 on: July 23, 2018, 09:37:34 AM »
Bear and a Rabbit side by side in the woods taking a shit
Bear to Rabbit:  "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
Rabbit: "No, not at all"

The bear picks him up and wipes his ass with him.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but then I turned myself around.

"I'll just use my Zumiez rewards card".

I sniff Jim Gagne's butthole all the time

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 490
  • Rep: -101
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #26 on: July 23, 2018, 01:52:32 PM »
roughneck walks into a bar after working in the oil fields all day.
gay man is seated in the back.
roughneck says 'i'm so thirst i could lick the sweat off a cows balls.'
the gay guy goes 'mooo'

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #27 on: July 23, 2018, 08:05:57 PM »
what do you call a cheap circumcision?  a rip off.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #28 on: July 23, 2018, 08:08:07 PM »
what do a woman's pussy and a chainsaw have in common?  miss by a few inches and youre in deep shit.

kentrock

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 203
  • Rep: -63
Re: Joke thread
« Reply #29 on: July 23, 2018, 08:10:26 PM »
whats the difference between acne and a catholic priest?  acne comes on a boys face after hes 12.