awkward situations thread.

[givecigstosurfgroms]

^harsh!

[kingpinuser]

 Last year I was helping my homie who owns a Barber shop get ready for booth at a Tattoo Convention, he had two beard oil guys he did business with, one guy he liked more and was was better to deal with then the other. The Convention organizer called my buddy and said that the beard oil guy ,who was harder to deal with, was going to get a booth beside the barber booth but he had not payed his money on time and had sent a email saying he was sorry but he had a serious family matter to deal with which he said was his young son dying.We knew he didn't have a son and told the organizer he was bullshitting and its crazy to think he would go to that level of a lie and to basically not use him.

Fast forward to the a few days before the convention and the good beard oil guy comes into the shop, we find out he will be beside us at the convention and we start talking a little shit at the level of ignorance the other beard oil guy has. The good beard oil guys asked us what we where talking about and we say about the guy not paying on time and saying his none son had died and that was the reasoning of not responding in time with the money but we know he does not have a son is a bullshitter. Good beard guy sits out...takes a breath and says "No, that was my young son that died". Ahhh we realized then that the organizer had switched the names and the whole time was talking about the good guy. We felt like huge fucking assholes...to both guys.   

[castillo's curls]

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   Erectile dysfunction with condoms sucks.  I ran into my x and it made me uneasy and which makes her mad and it just spiraled.  At the end of our 2 mins I was just not reacting to her at all she walked away, that sucked too.  Nothing is too awkward for me if its just the gen. public regular people with nothing invested.  Then its just 'barely awkward' and it dosent affect my day.   Hey on a slightly related topic, what about feigned awkwardness?  That shit has really come into its own the last 5 or 10 years.

[close]

A long, long time ago, I was coming back from a party walking (my ankle was injured due to skate, so I wasn't able to walk properly) when a girl I used to flirt and kiss a summer ago (I was 16 maybe 17 at the time) proposed me to drive me to my home (on a vespa).

Long story short I end up in her bed in her house with her parents sleeping, without planning nor really wanting anything with her.

So here I am, in her house, just about to fuck with a painful ankle injury and some erectile dysfunction due to the use of condoms, the alcohol in my veins and the meds I was using for the pain.
After some time I'm getting hard, I'm on the top of her trying to fuck her, when his older brother like 2 or 3 years older, enters her room (Kramer style). Ask me who the fuck I am, and if she has condoms for him because she's about to fuck a friend of her little sister. Here I am, inside her, while a guy I don't know, who is drunk is seeing me trying to fuck his little sister.
The girl gave him some condoms, and his brother left the room.

No wonder, that was one of the most awkward/cockblocking situation of my life but at least he didn't punched me. After that I called it a night and just decided to sleep.

When I woke up I realised I just wanted to leave that home asap, but she lived really far away from my house so she had to drive me there. I walked down the stairs, just to find her parents and her parents' friends (who were visiting them) having their morning breakfast and looking at me like who the fuck are you?

The drive home was silent and really awkward too.

Trans siblings? Paging Thrillho

[MintySandwhich]

I was really awkward in high school, and all I ever did was skate. I only had a couple friends at my school that I hung out with, the rest of the student population consisted of Jocks and Slutty Girls driving around in their lifted trucks. I stuck out like a sore thumb at my school.

So when my friend got into partying (he knew more kids than me), he invited me to a big house party. His older brother bought us 40's because that's what my skate friends and I would drink. We show up at this huge house where these jocks and sluts are taking shots only. So I walk in with my 40, and as if it was movie, everyone stops and looks at my homie and I. I was like shit, this was a mistake. A while goes by, and this party sucks. Cops show up, and a panic kind of starts to set in. My friend had weed on him so we book it to the backyard towards their fence which backed up to a park. The cops come in the house and me and friend decide to hop the fence, as soon as drop from the other side, The fucking DAD angrily yells at me to "Dont run!!!".. at this point literally all of my shitty highschool classmates are staring at me laughing.... I yell sorry, drop my beer in his backyard and run with my friend....

Didnt go to another highschool party after that, glad I didnt

[Turtle Boy]

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   Erectile dysfunction with condoms sucks.  I ran into my x and it made me uneasy and which makes her mad and it just spiraled.  At the end of our 2 mins I was just not reacting to her at all she walked away, that sucked too.  Nothing is too awkward for me if its just the gen. public regular people with nothing invested.  Then its just 'barely awkward' and it dosent affect my day.   Hey on a slightly related topic, what about feigned awkwardness?  That shit has really come into its own the last 5 or 10 years.

[close]

A long, long time ago, I was coming back from a party walking (my ankle was injured due to skate, so I wasn't able to walk properly) when a girl I used to flirt and kiss a summer ago (I was 16 maybe 17 at the time) proposed me to drive me to my home (on a vespa).

Long story short I end up in her bed in her house with her parents sleeping, without planning nor really wanting anything with her.

So here I am, in her house, just about to fuck with a painful ankle injury and some erectile dysfunction due to the use of condoms, the alcohol in my veins and the meds I was using for the pain.
After some time I'm getting hard, I'm on the top of her trying to fuck her, when his older brother like 2 or 3 years older, enters her room (Kramer style). Ask me who the fuck I am, and if she has condoms for him because she's about to fuck a friend of her little sister. Here I am, inside her, while a guy I don't know, who is drunk is seeing me trying to fuck his little sister.
The girl gave him some condoms, and his brother left the room.

No wonder, that was one of the most awkward/cockblocking situation of my life but at least he didn't punched me. After that I called it a night and just decided to sleep.

When I woke up I realised I just wanted to leave that home asap, but she lived really far away from my house so she had to drive me there. I walked down the stairs, just to find her parents and her parents' friends (who were visiting them) having their morning breakfast and looking at me like who the fuck are you?

The drive home was silent and really awkward too.

[close]

Trans siblings? Paging Thrillho

You are right 
I just edited the post, sorry

[MintySandwhich]

Was at a coffee shop today and I noticed this kid with highwaters halfway up his leg. I didn't realize I was staring at them with a disgusted face until the girl he was with gave me a weird look back at me..

[Gnarwhal]

Was at a coffee shop today and I noticed this kid with highwaters halfway up his leg. I didn't realize I was staring at them with a disgusted face until the girl he was with gave me a weird look back at me..

where do you live? that may have been me.  my 30x36s are still too short

[Pigeon]

server: Enjoy your food.
me: Thanks, you too.

random woman: Cute dog!
me: Thanks, you too.
[She didn't have a dog and I cockblocked myself.]

[DaSk8D00D]

This thread got me cracking up. allow me to contribute and take yall down a stroll thru memory lane...

When I was in maybe 5th grade or so I was tryna jerk off but we were out of lotion so I found my moms tanning lotion and went to town with that for a couple days. Did some good lubin

However, I didn't realize what that shit did to your skin

The webs of my hands got significantly darker than the rest of my skin & had this dirty look to them. That Sunday we did the usual lunch at the grandparents and I was in the sunroom talking with my grandpa & mom. I said some shit like "man idk why but there's dirt or something stuck in my hands and I can't get it off"



Shoulda kept my fuckin mouth shut



My mom takes a look at my hands kind of confused for a bit then asks if I was using her tanning lotion


"Umm, yeah maybe I think so...I uhh, was using it cuz my legs were ashy


Then my grandpas face lights up and he's chuckling like a mf over on the couch

At this point I'm like:


My mom was all , yeah ya goof don use my tanning lotion, it'll stain your skin. I think she knew what it was and was just being kind not to embarrass me even further

Luckily it was time for lunch an grandma called us all to the dinning room right at that moment

But when my mom walked out my grandpa stopped me like hold up a sec

"Yeah, what's up?"

"You weren't using that lotion for your legs you were using it on your DICK"




I dont think I've ever been as embarrassed in my entire life ever since

Then he just kept laughing & walked out the room. Had me quiet as fuck at the dinner table that day

[perverted super otaku!]

hahaha holy shit Will, that was funny as fuck


I also rock the inappropriate "same to you"s pretty hard

[doublesteveburger]

holy shit will, hahahaha.


 

[straight]

hahaha holy shit Will, that was funny as fuck

[Justis]

Im on my way meet this girl that contacted me off facebook, picking up some shitty durex from speedway and some blunts with the intent to smang. The first thing I do when I get to her casa is lock my keys in my car. After a long time trying to break in I decided to call the local PD. Upon getting into my car they inform me it smells like weed. I wait in cuffs outside of her crib and meet her mom for the very first time. After they ransacked my car the discover a tiny roach and let me go. As i am pulling off the cop comes up to my car and says " how old did this girl tell you she was ?" I squeakily reply 18 and he says " that girl is 16 you better havnt had slept with her" I turn on my Jazz station and skrt the fck outta there

[gumi]

Im on my way meet this girl that contacted me off facebook, picking up some shitty durex from speedway and some blunts with the intent to smang. The first thing I do when I get to her casa is lock my keys in my car. After a long time trying to break in I decided to call the local PD. Upon getting into my car they inform me it smells like weed. I wait in cuffs outside of her crib and meet her mom for the very first time. After they ransacked my car the discover a tiny roach and let me go. As i am pulling off the cop comes up to my car and says " how old did this girl tell you she was ?" I squeakily reply 18 and he says " that girl is 16 you better havnt had slept with her" I turn on my Jazz station and skrt the fck outta there

fam u knew she was 16

[Justis]

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Im on my way meet this girl that contacted me off facebook, picking up some shitty durex from speedway and some blunts with the intent to smang. The first thing I do when I get to her casa is lock my keys in my car. After a long time trying to break in I decided to call the local PD. Upon getting into my car they inform me it smells like weed. I wait in cuffs outside of her crib and meet her mom for the very first time. After they ransacked my car the discover a tiny roach and let me go. As i am pulling off the cop comes up to my car and says " how old did this girl tell you she was ?" I squeakily reply 18 and he says " that girl is 16 you better havnt had slept with her" I turn on my Jazz station and skrt the fck outta there

[close]

fam u knew she was 16

I wish I did before i wasted the gas , got too many groupies to be a sex offender

[brycickle]

Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

[Pigeon]

Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

to save $75...local police have a tool and do it for free, unless they have actual crimes to deal with. I would have gone with a metal coat hanger...they're good for more than just unlocking cars.

[Justis]

Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

didnt have cash for it, worked out pretty good honestly got into my car and didnt sleep with a 16 year old. its a win for me

[ttching!]

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Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

[close]

to save $75...local police have a tool and do it for free, unless they have actual crimes to deal with. I would have gone with a metal coat hanger...they're good for more than just unlocking cars.

Yeah, next time she's late for her period, a trip to your girl's closet could save you $300 at the abortion clinic.

[Pigeon]

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Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

[close]

to save $75...local police have a tool and do it for free, unless they have actual crimes to deal with. I would have gone with a metal coat hanger...they're good for more than just unlocking cars.

[close]

Yeah, next time she's late for her period, a trip to your girl's closet could save you $300 at the abortion clinic.

It's actually a bit more than $500.

[MintySandwhich]

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Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

[close]

to save $75...local police have a tool and do it for free, unless they have actual crimes to deal with. I would have gone with a metal coat hanger...they're good for more than just unlocking cars.

[close]

Yeah, next time she's late for her period, a trip to your girl's closet could save you $300 at the abortion clinic.

[close]

It's actually a bit more than $500.

I can confirm. Broke my key and called a locksmith and it ended up costing me like $375 ...  Pissed!

[shit_for_brains]

Justis do you want my number for advice in the future? I have gems like "never call the police on yourself"

[Justis]

Justis do you want my number for advice in the future? I have gems like "never call the police on yourself"

Haha lesson learned thanks bud

[Pigeon]

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Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

[close]

to save $75...local police have a tool and do it for free, unless they have actual crimes to deal with. I would have gone with a metal coat hanger...they're good for more than just unlocking cars.

[close]

Yeah, next time she's late for her period, a trip to your girl's closet could save you $300 at the abortion clinic.

[close]

It's actually a bit more than $500.

[close]

I can confirm. Broke my key and called a locksmith and it ended up costing me like $375 ...  Pissed!

We were talking about abortions, but that sucks too.

[h00man]

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Why would you call the police, when "locksmith" is an actual profession that exists? They even have phones with numbers.

[close]

to save $75...local police have a tool and do it for free, unless they have actual crimes to deal with. I would have gone with a metal coat hanger...they're good for more than just unlocking cars.

[close]

Yeah, next time she's late for her period, a trip to your girl's closet could save you $300 at the abortion clinic.

[close]

It's actually a bit more than $500.

[close]

I can confirm. Broke my key and called a locksmith and it ended up costing me like $375 ...  Pissed!

[close]

We were talking about abortions, but that sucks too.

Is it really $500? Damn. What about the abortion pill? Not plan B. I've heard you can pick up abortion pills at your walmart.

[Pigeon]

^
Yeah, Plan B is good, if it's taken within a couple days, but it only has ~88% success rate. It's just easier to pay for an abortion, if the woman is persistent that you're the only one she slept with recently. I'm a passive person, so I: don't want to go to court, argue about it, or have someone talking shit about me on Facebook/social media.

On the weekend, I went to a hotel bar, where this very attractive woman was singing. She was engaging the audience, and asked, "Who can do a good pelvic thrust behind me?" and everyone at my table was pointing to me. She kept dancing around me, and told me to come up and dance with her, a couple times throughout the night. It was awkward as fuck for me. Some other woman tried to dance with me, but this older guy kind of swooped in, and drove her away. Then, he came up to me later and apologized, but I told him it was all good.

[straight]

pigeon is jordan taylor confirmed