Here we go . . I used to help run a fairly popular forum for this nerdy otaku based community some friends and I created & definitely grew up on various pc gaming clan bb's before that . . had esl teammates come through to a live show when I was still gigging , and made lifelong friends that I still keep in touch with . There's two other forums I'm on rn , but never imagined I'd post something personal like this on any of them (pre-drug addled mind) -.-'
Today is the second step into my life of sobriety (stopped hard drugs [everything] last year and now ditching the alcohol/marijuana) . Started really dipping into psychedelics mid HS (turning 28 next month) , so it's been over a decade of blowing it .
Had a drink @ my mentor's jazz gig last Saturday and haven't thought about having a sip since . Not too worried about the drinking - I know I can put the bottle down without a struggle .
For me , the vice is herb . I'm just tired of smoking a dime blunt at least 1nce a day everyday (could never smoke at the end of the day after my work was complete or smoke bowls to conserve bud - I would just roll the whole dime/dub up and burn it all in one session) . Realized I slowed down on skating and making serious progression on music . It's hard to quit anything you've done regularly for years because it leaves that uncomfortable void . . .
Almost made it a whole week but cracked this past Monday after getting into it with some family members . Hit up the homie on my way back from work in Gardena and ended up in east Compton smoking the night away . The thing that sucks most is that I know I can't be around certain friends . Friends who are all around me in a bunch of different cities that I've spent years in . Luckily my lady doesn't smoke or drink and had my back through fam fights , street fights , jail , getting the boot from uni , couch surfing etc. She's helped me cope with a lot of bullshit I got myself into over the past 8 years and I plan on leaning on her heavy . She's dope . I clawed my way back into my uni and finished up my degree last year , made up with (most) of my fam and moved back into my childhood home which beats the dinky ass overpriced studio we were cooped up in downtown .
I've been itching to share these musical ideas I've had stuck in my head . . looking back at old photos of my fam and I fucks me up bigtime .
Gonna go MIA from social media/internet for a bit . Hopefully next time I drop by I will be in a better head space & have some proper musical material/experiences to share .
Stay up yall