Author Topic: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On  (Read 709295 times)

0 Members and 5 Guests are viewing this topic.

shark tits

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5130 on: July 10, 2018, 06:48:06 AM »
i looks out the window this morning and there's 3 birds doing the soul train all over my blueberry patch, i trows some pants on and stumble out there, grabbing a stake on the way. one of those piece of shit mini pterodactyls forces it's way out of the net at the seams, another is not so lucky as i bludgeon it w/ my stick through the net.
then a little one flew willy nilly bouncing from one side to another. it was a kid in a bounce castle having the time of his life, never realizing he's bound for disaster. i'm like 'my man, you gonna die but there is a wild blueberry patch less than a football field from here, as the crow fly'.
finally i entered the netting and it was 2 bird enter, one man leave.
i dumped the corpses in front of my house to deter dog owners from bringing their shitwolfs near my berries.
stoked i got 2, not stoked one lived to steal my berries another day.

Yu Dum

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5131 on: July 11, 2018, 07:27:58 AM »
Our local shop, along with a few local companies, is putting on a king of the road styled competition this month.

Not stoked on the fact that there is one specific asshole who is taking this shit way too seriously. To the point that he’s talking wild shit to the kids in this contest. Homeboy’s like 30-something and has kids of his own, but can’t handle a little friendly “competitive” banter. Bums me out.

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5132 on: July 11, 2018, 07:56:23 AM »
Talk even more shit to him and shut him up. Us old guys are sensitive about our age so hit him with that and some "where are your kids?" shit. He'll either be immune to it or it'll make him cry and usually expert level shit talkers don't start talking the shit they respond to it with better shit, so this guy will probably crumple. When he gets sensitive is when you ramp it up to straight out mean and always, always, always laugh at your own jokes.

Betaphenylethylalamine

  • Trade Count: (-2)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3297
  • Rep: -137
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5133 on: July 11, 2018, 08:11:30 AM »
Talk even more shit to him and shut him up. Us old guys are sensitive about our age so hit him with that and some "where are your kids?" shit. He'll either be immune to it or it'll make him cry and usually expert level shit talkers don't start talking the shit they respond to it with better shit, so this guy will probably crumple. When he gets sensitive is when you ramp it up to straight out mean and always, always, always laugh at your own jokes.

This
Gentleman ninja warlock

Yu Dum

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5134 on: July 11, 2018, 07:40:21 PM »
Ok, that would be effective if we weren’t talking about a legally regular drunkard who has a reputation of knocking people out cold. I know how this guy is and he definitely won’t cry.
He will attempt to rip my face off.

Sad Hippo

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5135 on: July 11, 2018, 08:05:39 PM »

behavioralguide

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2482
  • Rep: 763
  • dog stuff
  • Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5136 on: July 13, 2018, 01:17:30 PM »
I just got banned from one of the last server of the orginial Call of duty game for hacking (which I didnt)
sad I dont get to play the game anymore as there is not many other servers left
stoked on fact this means I don't play waste my time gaming anymore

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5137 on: July 13, 2018, 01:30:24 PM »
Ok, that would be effective if we weren’t talking about a legally regular drunkard who has a reputation of knocking people out cold. I know how this guy is and he definitely won’t cry.
He will attempt to rip my face off.

So rip his face off first.

Justis

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2024
  • Rep: 241
  • illinoying
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5138 on: July 16, 2018, 12:32:29 AM »
not stoked but stoked, some neanderthal stole all of  my possessions , wallet keys phone, at a memorial session for a friend that was gunned down last wednesday. very happy to see everyone come show support for my friends family , not shocked someone stole from but dissapointed they used my grief as a way for my guard to be down. Glad to be outta this shithole next month

Yu Dum

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5139 on: July 16, 2018, 06:16:47 AM »
Stoked to have learned front tailslide front shuv out yesterday.

Not stoked that I slipped out straight to my hip trying to learn switch front tails. Here’s to limping for the next three days.

Silky Johnson

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5358
  • Rep: 1355
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5140 on: July 17, 2018, 01:15:51 AM »
Not stoked on still couch surfing
Stoked I got a job interview Friday time to bring out my good Dickies with the crease still in tact

Gray Imp Sausage Metal

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 14894
  • Rep: 76
  • We're just 2 lo(b)s(t)ers sitting behind a screen
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5141 on: July 17, 2018, 05:29:55 PM »
Got my wisdom tooth ripped out yesterday, went relatively smoothly but still feels tender

Impish sausage is definitely gonna blow up as a euphemism this year

Enfant Terrible

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 23
  • Rep: -3
  • is this really real ?
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5142 on: July 19, 2018, 06:21:31 AM »
stoked to be back on Slap , i stopped lurking in 2011
not stoked on my new boring job.
stoked to spend a lot of time on Slap at work because i'm bored

calvinsdream

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5143 on: July 19, 2018, 03:22:13 PM »
Stoked I made it to the six month mark with my lady. It's been chill.

What I'm not stoked on is that I have to meet her Dad that did eight years of fed time when she was a kid. He's now started trolling our facebooks and asking when "he's gonna meet the white boy". I hear that he's pretty much a major dick so I'm not pumped.

Apparently the last boyfriend she introduced, he just looked at him and said "No you're not", and that was it.

JB

  • Trade Count: (+3)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8337
  • Rep: 858
  • Rusty Berrings Roll Forever
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5144 on: July 19, 2018, 04:48:33 PM »
Apparently the last boyfriend she introduced, he just looked at him and said "No you're not", and that was it.

if he pulls that line again, just say "already have, bro" and wink. you'll be fine.

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5145 on: July 20, 2018, 05:41:15 AM »
Ask her if he's excited to meet the white boy because he got a taste for them in prison

calvinsdream

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5146 on: July 20, 2018, 06:03:45 AM »
Ask her if he's excited to meet the white boy because he got a taste for them in prison

Apparently the prison thing is never to be spoken of so this should probably work.

shark tits

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5147 on: July 20, 2018, 06:19:10 AM »
Expand Quote
Ask her if he's excited to meet the white boy because he got a taste for them in prison
[close]

Apparently the prison thing is never to be spoken of so this should probably work.
or it will get your wig split

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5148 on: July 20, 2018, 06:56:00 AM »
My real advice as someone from a family familiar with the prison system is to find a different girl.

calvinsdream

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5149 on: July 20, 2018, 09:00:49 AM »
My real advice as someone from a family familiar with the prison system is to find a different girl.

Ah, nah. She's a smoking hot 22 year old latina and it's been the most drama free relationship I've ever had.

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5150 on: July 20, 2018, 09:09:26 AM »
Expand Quote
My real advice as someone from a family familiar with the prison system is to find a different girl.
[close]

Ah, nah. She's a smoking hot 22 year old latina and it's been the most drama free relationship I've ever had.


calvinsdream

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5151 on: July 20, 2018, 11:41:49 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
My real advice as someone from a family familiar with the prison system is to find a different girl.
[close]

Ah, nah. She's a smoking hot 22 year old latina and it's been the most drama free relationship I've ever had.
[close]



Jokes on her, my last ex cleared me out already. My current makes more bank than me anyway, seeing as I'm in a "debt management" program after being dumb enough to pay tuition for my last girlfriend.


shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5152 on: July 20, 2018, 12:06:54 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
My real advice as someone from a family familiar with the prison system is to find a different girl.
[close]

Ah, nah. She's a smoking hot 22 year old latina and it's been the most drama free relationship I've ever had.
[close]


[close]

Jokes on her, my last ex cleared me out already. My current makes more bank than me anyway, seeing as I'm in a "debt management" program after being dumb enough to pay tuition for my last girlfriend.

No no. Her being a hot 22 year old Latina is the money, everything else you've mentioned is everything else in the photo.

calvinsdream

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5153 on: July 20, 2018, 12:40:52 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
My real advice as someone from a family familiar with the prison system is to find a different girl.
[close]

Ah, nah. She's a smoking hot 22 year old latina and it's been the most drama free relationship I've ever had.
[close]


[close]

Jokes on her, my last ex cleared me out already. My current makes more bank than me anyway, seeing as I'm in a "debt management" program after being dumb enough to pay tuition for my last girlfriend.
[close]

No no. Her being a hot 22 year old Latina is the money, everything else you've mentioned is everything else in the photo.

Oh gotcha. We'll see if I get murdered or something I guess

shark tits

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5154 on: July 20, 2018, 09:56:05 PM »
the DIY that just died was a 10 yr old, $20,000 ghost town for junkies that the only thing people came to skate was a 3 ft wooden min ramp someone donated.
it's funny now that it's gone how everyone is up in arms.
i went to the meeting and 2 people i'd chatted w/ days before amicably were rude.
then they started using our language about 'multi use plazas w/ skating in mind' and i'm like 'are you just uncomfortable cause you plagiarized me?'
cause that' casual, just give credit.
i am scared in their ability to follow through [the aforementioned 10 yr, $20,000 shooting gallery that kids sometimes skated a wood ramp]. like, rebuild your tranny dog spot for all the suburb tranny dogs to work on and occasionally [very occasionally] skate.
do i trust them to make satellite spots in my neighborhood or the rest of  the city i actually live in?
no. like i told hash slasher, wormside is yngvie malmsteen and sharkside is a 3 chord punk song [that doesn't suck].
we've got asian, spanish, black and white kids [and at least one juggalo girl] skating our plaza, junkies in the periphery admiring our tomatoes. like we just on accident made something great vs the other spot was contrived and not a lot of fun. if i'm lyin i'm dyin.
so i'm stoked [validated] that my idears are being passed on [i invented edible skate spots dammit] but not stoked that people will ignore you to your face and take credit for your shit even though you aren't from the city, don't skate regularly and although they're better at using tools, you use em to create bullshit and our lofi spot is bitchin!!!
yes, ik, i'm a bad person because i don't work and that's everyone's excuse for not being able to do the thing that makes you relevant to skating.
i like dube and everyone but i'm wil'in now.
and if anyone says those aren't sharkside concepts, originally all they wanted was to rebuild wormside or the city to build a park [wicked orginal].

Mystical Leader

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1292
  • Rep: -130
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5155 on: July 23, 2018, 03:30:50 AM »
Had sex with this amazing woman

She is my bestfriends sister..

I know I fucked up but don't regret it neither does she but this will make things awkward and weird because I know we didn't get enough of each others just yet.. Dreams come true I figure though..
« Last Edit: July 23, 2018, 03:46:47 AM by Mystical Leader »

lampshade

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2850
  • Rep: 132
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5156 on: July 23, 2018, 03:38:59 AM »
Had sex with this amazing woman

He is my bestfriends sister..


I know I fucked up but don't regret it neither does she but this will make things awkward and weird because I know we didn't get enough of each others just yet.. Dreams come true I figure though..

Good for you, but this quote does not compute. 

Mystical Leader

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1292
  • Rep: -130
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5157 on: July 23, 2018, 03:49:53 AM »
Expand Quote
Had sex with this amazing woman

She! is my bestfriends sister..


I know I fucked up but don't regret it neither does she but this will make things awkward and weird because I know we didn't get enough of each others just yet.. Dreams come true I figure though..
[close]

Good for you, but this quote does not compute.

English isn't my first language, sorry

My bestfriend is a he and her sister has a divine body..

SodaJerk

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8540
  • Rep: 1085
  • Butterscotch yo!
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5158 on: July 23, 2018, 04:54:27 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Had sex with this amazing woman

She! is my bestfriends sister..


I know I fucked up but don't regret it neither does she but this will make things awkward and weird because I know we didn't get enough of each others just yet.. Dreams come true I figure though..
[close]

Good for you, but this quote does not compute.
[close]

English isn't my first language, sorry

My bestfriend is a he and her sister has a divine body..
Post nudez

shark tits

  • Guest
Re: Things You Are Stoked On But Not Stoked On
« Reply #5159 on: July 23, 2018, 05:01:15 PM »
hash slahser and i reappropriated some granite from a decrepit structure to sharkside. we made a noseblunt ledge [tribute to auburn] and we layed down 2/3 tiles for a manny pad.
stoked.
then as we were taking the 2 granite tiles of the dolly my finger became crushed in between them.
i'm numb now but it might start hurting, may be broke.
i'm in shock.
for anyways, not stoked on that.
pray for my finger!
i need 12 cinderblocks and we're putting that manny pad up.
sharkside doesn't cost $20,000 and people actually skate here.
^that can be our motto