Things You Are Not Stoked On

[20matar]

Properly applied self-loathing can be a powerful motivation tool for personal development. Some people work well with carrots, some work by the stick of not standing their current lot. Whatever path you decide to take, commit yourself to "doing you". Good luck mate.

[tobey]

We had a huge party here last night for my aunts wedding anniversary, i hate people so that kind of suck. My aunt's kids brought their friends over and they look like the typical white frat dudes who date rape girls. Just hung out with my cousins kid the whole night because everyone is a drunk in my family and me learning early on in my life and not wanting to end up like them i just hang out with him at all parties since i got sober. Anyway, the thing im mainly not stoked on is that i woke up with like a hangover. Didn't touch any beer or shit like that, just stuffed my fucking face till the dj left so i could sleep. Woke up at like 5am with some withdrawal type shit and threw up right away. I think im legit just sick of any alcohol, like just the smell of that shit will make me have a horrible night or make me have flashbacks or some stuff.


Basically im officially a sober sally

[JB]

my lunch was in the trash at work. im not sure if i threw it in there on accident or if some dickhead put it in there, but im not happy. i dont think it was me, but ive done stupid things like that before so i cant rule myself out.

[JB]

I'm on vacation and my tendonitis is pretty much yelling at me. My ankle feels like it's full of sand. I want to poke a hole on it and spray WD-40 at it so I can skate and actually do something this "staycation", since I'm at home.

secrets out now. 20marter is the tin man, confirmed.

[iKobrakai]

We had a huge party here last night for my aunts wedding anniversary, i hate people so that kind of suck. My aunt's kids brought their friends over and they look like the typical white frat dudes who date rape girls. Just hung out with my cousins kid the whole night because everyone is a drunk in my family and me learning early on in my life and not wanting to end up like them i just hang out with him at all parties since i got sober. Anyway, the thing im mainly not stoked on is that i woke up with like a hangover. Didn't touch any beer or shit like that, just stuffed my fucking face till the dj left so i could sleep. Woke up at like 5am with some withdrawal type shit and threw up right away. I think im legit just sick of any alcohol, like just the smell of that shit will make me have a horrible night or make me have flashbacks or some stuff.


Basically im officially a sober sally

Could be PAWS.  http://americanaddictioncenters.org/withdrawal-timelines-treatments/post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome/

I still feel the some of the effects, 4 years deep. My advice is simple; keep grinding, it will get somewhat better if you apply yourself.

My contribution: had a good run with some good girls. Sadly, I cannot imagine sharing my life with a person. My anxiety intensifies when we are sitting there eating breakfast, not the classical kind of "well, this is awkward" but a burning sensation that the whole thing will never work. Ever. These people are robbing me of my integrity, I have to adjust my entire "schedule" because of them. So pathetic, but OCD is a bitch.


If you are still reading this, Tobey, make sure not to become like me.

[swag nollies]

I don't want to go to any store in my town because I stole HELLA uneserarry shit for no reason from basically everywhere, over and over in the same day. (Walmart board was just skate related) Done with binging on drugs, I don't steal, I hate the thought of stealing, I'm in my late 20s for fucksake, but apparently I do on benzo induced cocktails. Now I aint slept for 2 days cause comedown and realizing what I did just makes me want to zonk out of life again.

I think I got on the come up to early in life, kept comin up and comin up doing good until like 23. Now I keep falling and falling further. Its like man I don't even know how to do the right thing anymore you know? Honestly I just want to go to jail again so I can get my mind and priorities straight.

Whatever though I'm done with bawtawd, I don't want to be bawtawd anymore.

I don't need advice, just venting my bullshit, I know what I need to do but I don't ever do it.

[1080]

So basically what I'm saying is I'm getting lost in the sauce

[perverted super otaku!]

Expand Quote

We had a huge party here last night for my aunts wedding anniversary, i hate people so that kind of suck. My aunt's kids brought their friends over and they look like the typical white frat dudes who date rape girls. Just hung out with my cousins kid the whole night because everyone is a drunk in my family and me learning early on in my life and not wanting to end up like them i just hang out with him at all parties since i got sober. Anyway, the thing im mainly not stoked on is that i woke up with like a hangover. Didn't touch any beer or shit like that, just stuffed my fucking face till the dj left so i could sleep. Woke up at like 5am with some withdrawal type shit and threw up right away. I think im legit just sick of any alcohol, like just the smell of that shit will make me have a horrible night or make me have flashbacks or some stuff.


Basically im officially a sober sally

[close]

Could be PAWS.  http://americanaddictioncenters.org/withdrawal-timelines-treatments/post-acute-withdrawal-syndrome/

I still feel the some of the effects, 4 years deep. My advice is simple; keep grinding, it will get somewhat better if you apply yourself.

My contribution: had a good run with some good girls. Sadly, I cannot imagine sharing my life with a person. My anxiety intensifies when we are sitting there eating breakfast, not the classical kind of "well, this is awkward" but a burning sensation that the whole thing will never work. Ever. These people are robbing me of my integrity, I have to adjust my entire "schedule" because of them. So pathetic, but OCD is a bitch.


If you are still reading this, Tobey, make sure not to become like me.

You know, I've been thinking about this kind of thing recently and I think some people will never be able to accept or show love in the standard way. I think it's either it's something you pick up as your grow like most people, and a minority who for whatever reason just to don't learn how to accept people liking/loving them, or how to show love for other people. At a certain point I think it's good to accept that at some point what you learned as good and bad in human relationships got mixed up. It makes me almost sick to my stomach when I know a girl really likes me and is seeking my attention or company, very invasive and uncomfortable feeling, because somewhere along the line I came to associate positive attention with discomfort and comfort with being ignored/insulted/general shitty treatment(not in a bdsm way either...) I don't really know what can be done with that? if you what your attracted to is bad for your life and turned off by women who respect and care for you.

[MintySandwhich]

Got a gnarly leg cramp in my calf the other night. Hurt real bad.

But it's still sore. Usually when I get leg cramps, it's good by the next day. I'm wondering if it's because I'm getting older. I'm not stoked because I really wanna skate, but it's pretty damn difficult when that muscle is pretty important when skating. Anyone got an tips or tricks to make this... "heal" faster?

[Tracer]

[tobey]

I use youtube to watch video game comedy or just shit with video games because that has always been my first love and will always be it. Anyway the youtubers i like stream on twitch a lot and i just realized i can use my amazon prime account and subscribe to those people for free on twitch. Well one of the youtubers i watch who is the same age as me and basically his viewers are like 12-18 just went on twitch. So i subscribed and then like 10 seconds later he says my name and thanks me for subscribing and i was low-keyed hyped. Please kook me

[ChuckRamone]

have loud upstairs neighbors. they don't play loud music or have crazy parties but they are continuously moving around and one of them stomps when he walks. it sounds like he's trying to blow out his own kneecaps. I went up there once to complain when it was still going on at midnight. the guy said it was his dog. a couple weeks later and it's still going on. I have a hard time getting to sleep and sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of loud footsteps, things getting dropped above me - even with earplugs in. and even though I padded the ceiling with stuff to block the sound. so I asked my building manager if there was another apartment we could move into and told him why. he said that our moving wouldn't be a solution because the next tenants would have to deal with it, so he said he would talk to them. I said thanks. kind of awkward feeling having to do that though.

[Gray Imp Sausage Metal]

have loud upstairs neighbors. they don't play loud music or have crazy parties but they are continuously moving around and one of them stomps when he walks. it sounds like he's trying to blow out his own kneecaps. I went up there once to complain when it was still going on at midnight. the guy said it was his dog. a couple weeks later and it's still going on. I have a hard time getting to sleep and sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of loud footsteps, things getting dropped above me - even with earplugs in. and even though I padded the ceiling with stuff to block the sound. so I asked my building manager if there was another apartment we could move into and told him why. he said that our moving wouldn't be a solution because the next tenants would have to deal with it, so he said he would talk to them. I said thanks. kind of awkward feeling having to do that though.

sounds like my current situation, cept the guy doesn't even answer the door when we go up to complain. It's been going on for more than year now and it's really taking its toll on my wife (she uses earplugs and can still hear his bullshit). Guy is in a wheelchair so the real estate always gives us the "oh but he's disabled" excuse ... yeah, but that doesn't mean he has to be a fucktard! Dude has had multiple warnings and recently flooded our toilet/ bathroom at 4am cuz he fucked up doing his laundry (at 4 fucking AM!), still couldn't come down and apologize for that and then the real estate rings us 5 days later and is like, "he's ready to apologize now". NO! fuck you
They are currently trying to come up with a solution like moving us 3 floors up but want us to pay moving out fees and it's just like, why the fuck should we pay? ugh ... human = garbage

[ChuckRamone]

Expand Quote

have loud upstairs neighbors. they don't play loud music or have crazy parties but they are continuously moving around and one of them stomps when he walks. it sounds like he's trying to blow out his own kneecaps. I went up there once to complain when it was still going on at midnight. the guy said it was his dog. a couple weeks later and it's still going on. I have a hard time getting to sleep and sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of loud footsteps, things getting dropped above me - even with earplugs in. and even though I padded the ceiling with stuff to block the sound. so I asked my building manager if there was another apartment we could move into and told him why. he said that our moving wouldn't be a solution because the next tenants would have to deal with it, so he said he would talk to them. I said thanks. kind of awkward feeling having to do that though.

[close]

sounds like my current situation, cept the guy doesn't even answer the door when we go up to complain. It's been going on for more than year now and it's really taking its toll on my wife (she uses earplugs and can still hear his bullshit). Guy is in a wheelchair so the real estate always gives us the "oh but he's disabled" excuse ... yeah, but that doesn't mean he has to be a fucktard! Dude has had multiple warnings and recently flooded our toilet/ bathroom at 4am cuz he fucked up doing his laundry (at 4 fucking AM!), still couldn't come down and apologize for that and then the real estate rings us 5 days later and is like, "he's ready to apologize now". NO! fuck you
They are currently trying to come up with a solution like moving us 3 floors up but want us to pay moving out fees and it's just like, why the fuck should we pay? ugh ... human = garbage

that sounds fucked. you get stressed. then you get angry. then you get exhausted. rinse and repeat. and if you complain, some people get even louder, like they take this stuff personally and they get off on fucking with you. people like that have issues. they don't have a good outlet for their energy, like skateboarding. they should join a gym or something and hit a punching bag.

[perverted super otaku!]

Pretty lame how Russia, a massively homophobic country, seems like it's going to use homophobia as a reason/pre-text to invade Chechnya, people seem to be eating it up... shit's sad

[JB]

I use youtube to watch video game comedy or just shit with video games because that has always been my first love and will always be it. Anyway the youtubers i like stream on twitch a lot and i just realized i can use my amazon prime account and subscribe to those people for free on twitch. Well one of the youtubers i watch who is the same age as me and basically his viewers are like 12-18 just went on twitch. So i subscribed and then like 10 seconds later he says my name and thanks me for subscribing and i was low-keyed hyped. Please kook me

i dont feel bad about binge watching that chicken wing interview show anymore.

[dirtyweemidden]

about to turn 28 and fully feeling the effects of it. went skating for an hour 3 days ago, still sore now!

[Dr-Feelgood]

about to turn 28 and fully feeling the effects of it. went skating for an hour 3 days ago, still sore now!

Oh man i feel you, ive been skating every weekend for the past month and have been sore for days after it, the slams are taking there toll way worse then 10 years ago too.

[Mark Renton]

about to turn 28 and fully feeling the effects of it. went skating for an hour 3 days ago, still sore now!

Yes I noticed that too. Basic gym exercises and biking to the skatepark instead of taking the bus have been doing wonders though. I went to the doctor because I always get a sore left knee and even if these haven't solved that they gave me more strenght I guess. He told it's about getting muscles warmed up every day with light work rather then do nothing and then go hard all at once. Seems obvious but I wasn't doing that.

Not stoked at all on this gnarly atopic dermatitis on my face. Shit randomly comes and goes regardless of diet, stress. I'll be good for some time then I wake up one day full Alec Majerus (or even worse). I saw like 4 good different dermatologists (100usd each) but didn't solve anything.
Also facial hair starting to pop out in mid 20s sucks. I feel 16 haha.

Tl;dr: my face is a mess

[Hercules Rockefeller]

warming up is essential once you hit a certain age. i still hate it, but its simply unavoidable. theres a reason so many guys bring their foam roller everywhere haha

[JB]

your attitude has a lot to do with it too. if you tell yourself that youre getting too old and physical activity is making you too sore, youre going to feel a lot worse than you need to. i have buddies that are in better shape than me and they bitch up a storm the day after skating. and maybe they truly are in agony, but i have a hard time buying it. im 29 and it defintely takes me longer to warm up and my legs and ankles the next day are a little sore, but its nothing i cant handle.

[shit_for_brains]

Not feeling like shit as you age requires lifestyle changes. I'm 36 and in good shape and I don't skate like I did when I was 20, but I can still fall like I did and be alright.

[shark tits]

Please don't take this as a cry for help or as a whine or a sign of crippling depression, or worse, hardcore memery, but on every passing day, I get more and more convinced that I'm going to kill myself. Hopefully not soon, probably in my 50s or 60s in a very subtle, dignified, and filled with plausible deniability-way, but who knows where life might take us 5 minutes from now. My genes are fucked, most of my ancestors are either mentally or neurologically ill, and I don't want to make an ass of myself and I want to control the way I leave. I just hope that I'm still living at a time and age where such a subject is still taboo, and not the duty of every untermensch or elderly citizen.

lets go on adventure first

[mynameisnotjeff]

Please don't take this as a cry for help or as a whine or a sign of crippling depression, or worse, hardcore memery, but on every passing day, I get more and more convinced that I'm going to kill myself. Hopefully not soon, probably in my 50s or 60s in a very subtle, dignified, and filled with plausible deniability-way, but who knows where life might take us 5 minutes from now. My genes are fucked, most of my ancestors are either mentally or neurologically ill, and I don't want to make an ass of myself and I want to control the way I leave. I just hope that I'm still living at a time and age where such a subject is still taboo, and not the duty of every untermensch or elderly citizen.

I understand the feel but, when this really sips in I like to pause and take a deep breadth. Just go and do something that gets your mind off of it, like a movie or skating. Just get distracted and when you're done. Sit down and try to focus on the things that are right. There's always something that is but it's buried beneath all the negativity. Gotta treat yourself sometimes too.

[Tracer]

[20matar]

Expand Quote

[close]

lets go on adventure first

That's a plan. I just hope the jig isn't up so soon.

Expand Quote

[close]

I understand the feel but, when this really sips in I like to pause and take a deep breadth. Just go and do something that gets your mind off of it, like a movie or skating. Just get distracted and when you're done. Sit down and try to focus on the things that are right. There's always something that is but it's buried beneath all the negativity. Gotta treat yourself sometimes too.

Pretty much. I'm not talking out of a place of sadness or shock. It's just that it's fucked to realize that about myself in the long run. It's not news to me, though I am especially careful about focusing on wellness, on allowing myself to like this, even or especially if they're silly and petty. Having no hobbies or distractions can really fuck you over, especially if you don't Diversify Your Bonds and put all of your hopes and dreams in the same basket.

Also, Chelsea sucks. Good call, T-Dogg.

[perverted super otaku!]

I think a lot of people who think about or even try suicide don't actually want to die, but in fact are wanting to express there their feelings about the world and want to show people how they feel in some kind of way, and suicide is like performance art expressing that. Like "the only way I can show people how I feel is by committing/attempting suicide" I don't think that is worth dying for...

[Mark Renton]

Please don't take this as a cry for help or as a whine or a sign of crippling depression, or worse, hardcore memery, but on every passing day, I get more and more convinced that I'm going to kill myself. Hopefully not soon, probably in my 50s or 60s in a very subtle, dignified, and filled with plausible deniability-way, but who knows where life might take us 5 minutes from now. My genes are fucked, most of my ancestors are either mentally or neurologically ill, and I don't want to make an ass of myself and I want to control the way I leave. I just hope that I'm still living at a time and age where such a subject is still taboo, and not the duty of every untermensch or elderly citizen.

Ok so I'm going to give you some tips, just beware it's not the cheapest way but it's the best one in the long run:

Professional help: go to the best psychiatrist in your town, talk about what's happening and get on some SSRI (no benzos). You will feel useless and physically tired for a couple of weeks until they kick in. These alone will not solve the problem, but they'll keep your mood stable; let's say if before you're feeling on a wild rollercoaster now you're cruising. It's not an enjoyable cruise, it's like cruising through Iowa or some other shitty midwest state, but at least your thoughts will become more rational and you can build from that.

Pair the shrink with a good psychologist and have a meeting every week/couple weeks. Again, you will feel useless, but it works.
I say good because there's always the cheaper one but then he'll give you the wrong meds/advice and you end up spending twice the money and time.

From that, after what it could be weeks or months, you focus on what makes you feel worth: for me it's skating and solving civil eng problems.
People will tell you to take a break, do yoga, meditation, drink yourself to sleep, don't overthink and that's cool if you've been dumped by your girlfriend or lost your job, but if you're born with a big serotonin deficit all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference.
Last but not least: keep your friends out of this. Good luck.

[Level 60 Dwarf Paladin]

These Indian guys that spray water alll over their assholes and it gets the stall soaking wet with shit water. Welcome to San Jose's MLK Library.

[the snake]

no SSRI it will drive you mad, just smoke some indica at night and try to live good times with friends in the day(skating, music, tennis table, beer, or whathever), do the sharktits programm too (100 pushups everyday), eat fruits...