Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 204663 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #450 on: October 18, 2017, 07:42:46 AM »
I always go 3 squares of the quality stuff.

Silky Johnson

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5358
  • Rep: 1355
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #451 on: October 18, 2017, 04:38:11 PM »
I've adopted the sit down wipe after being a life long stander, a few squares of tp followed by a wet wipe and I'm golden

Level 60 Dwarf Paladin

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2100
  • Rep: -83
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #452 on: October 18, 2017, 10:26:27 PM »
Batting cleanup...
you never know about pre-cum 

Gray Imp Sausage Metal

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 14894
  • Rep: 76
  • We're just 2 lo(b)s(t)ers sitting behind a screen
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #453 on: October 19, 2017, 12:29:23 AM »
^

Asian toilets make more sense to me now, but I would never want to shit in a public one.
yeah, they're good but once you go electronic bum jet it's hard to go back!

Impish sausage is definitely gonna blow up as a euphemism this year

planman

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4011
  • Rep: 371
  • Morpheus drinking a 40 in a death basket
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #454 on: November 07, 2017, 04:07:44 PM »
Story about me (not) wiping my ass last saturday:
Apparently last Saturday I was so drunk that while I was puking all over my friend's bathroom, I asked him to leave so I could take a shit. He unlocks the bathroom and comes in to see me passed out on the bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles (slightly unrelated but it's also worth mentioning that he kept taking shots the entire time he was helping me). He woke me up and told me to wipe my ass and pull up my pants, to which I asked "why?" It took him five minutes to convince me to do it. I remember absolutely none of this.

I saw your mom do a ollie to cooch drop straight down the big black pole, it was gnarly. she defiantly shut that shit down

straight

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4045
  • Rep: 979
  • Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #455 on: November 08, 2017, 12:57:07 PM »
when you're wiping your butt, and you check the tp, and are like, how the fuck did the poo get over on that part? i wasn't even wiping there .. so you scavenger around your side cheeks trying to find the culprit, but every time you check the tp, the poo keeps showing up in different areas .. so by the end, you know that no matter what, there is some poo hidin out that's gonna mark up your undies
What kind of mikey taylor logic is this?

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #456 on: November 09, 2017, 05:12:54 AM »
I think you should change up your diet. You aren't supposed to get that kind of surface coverage.

Lobo

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 157
  • Rep: 2
  • Skate and die !
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #457 on: November 14, 2017, 12:41:51 PM »
My ass is very sensitive,so I need to wash it everytime I take a dump! Thank God for the only thing that frenchies ever got right...bidet toilet!

himlor

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 269
  • Rep: 18
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #458 on: November 14, 2017, 01:20:50 PM »
Expand Quote
^

Asian toilets make more sense to me now, but I would never want to shit in a public one.
[close]
yeah, they're good but once you go electronic bum jet it's hard to go back!

i used to know where a lot of those nice ones were and shit in them on my lunch breaks. 

Lobo

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 157
  • Rep: 2
  • Skate and die !
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #459 on: November 15, 2017, 02:20:17 AM »
Wiping your ass is an art.
In my gym we have a dude that I train bjj and he always smells nice (some guys smell like bums,but I get paid ..fuck it)
his butt tho, is always stinky as hell man!!
When I teach him armbars and triangles and shit I am on the verge of puking my guts out!
I get 30€ per hour,so I can't tell this stinky ass too fuck off so I delicately mentioned ass wiping tehniques! The dude told me that he wipes his cornhole with toilet paper and damn wet cleanex!!
Now,wtf is he doing wrong???...ass wiping is an art!
And I need to smell them for a living

somethingmustbreaknow

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5279
  • Rep: 477
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #460 on: November 15, 2017, 04:22:39 AM »
^ what does the second j stand for in your blowjob acronym?

shit_for_brains

  • Guest
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #461 on: November 15, 2017, 05:20:37 AM »
^ what does the second j stand for in your blowjob acronym?

jazzercise

fulltechnicalskizzy

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3684
  • Rep: 1936
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #462 on: November 15, 2017, 06:13:27 AM »
blowjobjitsu

Lobo

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 157
  • Rep: 2
  • Skate and die !
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #463 on: November 15, 2017, 06:38:18 AM »
Blow jobs cost extra

Lobo

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 157
  • Rep: 2
  • Skate and die !
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #464 on: November 15, 2017, 06:40:08 AM »
^ what does the second j stand for in your blowjob acronym?
Your mom Jennifer

doublesteveburger

  • Guest
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #465 on: November 19, 2017, 08:29:22 AM »
After you finish pooping do you button your pants back up or wash your hands first? The thought of poop particles renting out property on my pants button/belt buckle make me uneasy. Although there's poop particles on practically everything everywhere all the time always, but I already have enough trouble sleeping at night so I try not to think about that.

bawtawd5

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 700
  • Rep: 134
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #466 on: November 22, 2017, 10:05:43 AM »
Yo I just raw cheek at work, unless theres piss, but I just wipe up the piss.

Andrefosho

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3062
  • Rep: 146
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #467 on: December 27, 2017, 11:50:50 PM »
Just found this - had to share!


SOTY

  • Guest
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #468 on: January 01, 2018, 12:49:48 PM »
I ate a lotta cheese yesterday...

planman

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4011
  • Rep: 371
  • Morpheus drinking a 40 in a death basket
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #469 on: February 13, 2018, 06:51:35 AM »
Had one of those wonderful shits yesterday where it kinda just slithers out your ass and dissolves on contact with the water. Wiped my ass and there was nothing. Glorious.

I saw your mom do a ollie to cooch drop straight down the big black pole, it was gnarly. she defiantly shut that shit down

Francis Xavier

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6729
  • Rep: 2137
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #470 on: February 20, 2018, 10:34:17 PM »
Had one of those wonderful shits yesterday where it kinda just slithers out your ass and dissolves on contact with the water. Wiped my ass and there was nothing. Glorious.
Those are the best,on par with droppin a stout shit log and feeling lighter and energized after.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

fulltechnicalskizzy

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3684
  • Rep: 1936
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #471 on: February 21, 2018, 01:51:21 PM »
Never had a shit dissolve on contact with water

Francis Xavier

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6729
  • Rep: 2137
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #472 on: February 21, 2018, 02:36:40 PM »
Alka-shit.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

redcurb12

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 612
  • Rep: 29
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #473 on: June 14, 2018, 03:44:48 PM »
can someone explain this:
Let me preface this post with the fact that I am slightly inebriated, very uneducated and I havent read any papers or done any research at all, or read your post really.

bawtawd5

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 700
  • Rep: 134
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #474 on: June 14, 2018, 04:14:20 PM »
can someone explain this:

Ahh yes a technique that has been around for centruies it was said that even Ghengis Khan used this pooping postioon because it promoted self discipline to not let go of wall, is called a chocolate lemoade hail storm for obvious reasons

butterballs for jerry

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 650
  • Rep: -56
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #475 on: July 09, 2018, 11:52:20 AM »
I feel I have a unique technique.

I pull four squares if it's good tp or six of its one ply.  On the first ply I poke the middle with my pointer finger and twirl an upper corner around my finger with my thumb, making almost a full rotation. I pinch the twisted part with thumb and finger to hold it in place while folding the remaining squares under the "shit trap" I have just created, to protect my hand. It looks like a slightly gaping butthole. Keep it pinched, wipe, repeat until only traces remain, then go to straight up folded sheets.

Don't know where I got it from but it works.
I was standing staring at the world, and I still can't see it

straight

  • Trade Count: (+1)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4045
  • Rep: 979
  • Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #476 on: July 24, 2018, 07:37:06 PM »
does anyone else hold in their poop as long as possible to enjoy the sensation or is it just me
What kind of mikey taylor logic is this?

SodaJerk

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8540
  • Rep: 1085
  • Butterscotch yo!
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #477 on: July 25, 2018, 01:47:03 AM »
does anyone else hold in their poop as long as possible to enjoy the sensation or is it just me
Not intentionally but sometimes circumstances command it and that's when you have the sweetest dumps.

iKobrakai

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4105
  • Rep: -718
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #478 on: July 25, 2018, 09:19:24 AM »
Expand Quote
does anyone else hold in their poop as long as possible to enjoy the sensation or is it just me
[close]
Not intentionally but sometimes circumstances command it and that's when you have the sweetest dumps.

Yes, good shit.

fulltechnicalskizzy

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3684
  • Rep: 1936
Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #479 on: July 27, 2018, 04:26:27 PM »
There's no time for me hold in my shits they are all immediate emergencies