Author Topic: wiping your butt  (Read 120932 times)

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tobey

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #450 on: August 30, 2017, 11:40:10 AM »
I got a poop stool, well i just found a stool in the garage. Anyway, it's really amazing, basically you shit like a dog and apparently that's the most healthy way of pooping because it just shoots right out. It really does shoot right out, as soon as I'm position on the stool and toilet seat, about 2 seconds later BOOM. A nice clean poop comes flying out of me and the wipe up job is a great improvement for me. I would use a half of a roll of toilet paper just for one shit and now, I'm finally 10 or less wipes person. I'm normal, finally!!!!!

Pigeon

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #451 on: August 30, 2017, 11:53:19 AM »
^

Asian toilets make more sense to me now, but I would never want to shit in a public one.

Dr. Octagon

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #452 on: September 06, 2017, 03:16:47 PM »
what's the average number of squares of toilet paper everyone uses per wipe? I keep it minimal, 4-6 squares depending on the poop.

Pigeon

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #453 on: September 06, 2017, 04:49:34 PM »
what's the average number of squares of toilet paper everyone uses per wipe? I keep it minimal, 4-6 squares depending on the poop.
I don't know about per wipe, but total for each shit is:
2, if they're solid logs
4, if it's a bit runny
6-10, if it's straight diarrhea

dirtyweemidden

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #454 on: September 11, 2017, 04:08:32 AM »
i just got back from Paris and the toilets there are fucked up! the water is so deep in the bowl, my peen was semi submerged. Theres a motion sensor flush.. i did not know this and leaned forward for leverage, which set of the sensor, my wang got a swirly and I got a jump scare that ended up spraying piss over everything.. all in all a thrilling experience not for the faint of heart.


shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #455 on: October 18, 2017, 07:42:46 AM »
I always go 3 squares of the quality stuff.

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Silky Johnson

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #456 on: October 18, 2017, 04:38:11 PM »
I've adopted the sit down wipe after being a life long stander, a few squares of tp followed by a wet wipe and I'm golden

Level 60 Dwarf Paladin

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #457 on: October 18, 2017, 10:26:27 PM »
Batting cleanup...
you never know about pre-cum 

Gay Imp Sausage Metal

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #458 on: October 19, 2017, 12:29:23 AM »
^

Asian toilets make more sense to me now, but I would never want to shit in a public one.
yeah, they're good but once you go electronic bum jet it's hard to go back!
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planman

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #459 on: November 07, 2017, 04:07:44 PM »
Story about me (not) wiping my ass last saturday:
Apparently last Saturday I was so drunk that while I was puking all over my friend's bathroom, I asked him to leave so I could take a shit. He unlocks the bathroom and comes in to see me passed out on the bathroom floor with my pants around my ankles (slightly unrelated but it's also worth mentioning that he kept taking shots the entire time he was helping me). He woke me up and told me to wipe my ass and pull up my pants, to which I asked "why?" It took him five minutes to convince me to do it. I remember absolutely none of this.

I saw your mom do a ollie to cooch drop straight down the big black pole, it was gnarly. she defiantly shut that shit down.

straight

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #460 on: November 08, 2017, 12:57:07 PM »
when you're wiping your butt, and you check the tp, and are like, how the fuck did the poo get over on that part? i wasn't even wiping there .. so you scavenger around your side cheeks trying to find the culprit, but every time you check the tp, the poo keeps showing up in different areas .. so by the end, you know that no matter what, there is some poo hidin out that's gonna mark up your undies

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #461 on: November 09, 2017, 05:12:54 AM »
I think you should change up your diet. You aren't supposed to get that kind of surface coverage.

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Lobo

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #462 on: November 14, 2017, 12:41:51 PM »
My ass is very sensitive,so I need to wash it everytime I take a dump! Thank God for the only thing that frenchies ever got right...bidet toilet!

himlor

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #463 on: November 14, 2017, 01:20:50 PM »
^

Asian toilets make more sense to me now, but I would never want to shit in a public one.
yeah, they're good but once you go electronic bum jet it's hard to go back!

i used to know where a lot of those nice ones were and shit in them on my lunch breaks. 

Lobo

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #464 on: November 15, 2017, 02:20:17 AM »
Wiping your ass is an art.
In my gym we have a dude that I train bjj and he always smells nice (some guys smell like bums,but I get paid ..fuck it)
his butt tho, is always stinky as hell man!!
When I teach him armbars and triangles and shit I am on the verge of puking my guts out!
I get 30 per hour,so I can't tell this stinky ass too fuck off so I delicately mentioned ass wiping tehniques! The dude told me that he wipes his cornhole with toilet paper and damn wet cleanex!!
Now,wtf is he doing wrong???...ass wiping is an art!
And I need to smell them for a living

somethingmustbreaknow

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #465 on: November 15, 2017, 04:22:39 AM »
^ what does the second j stand for in your blowjob acronym?

shit_for_brains

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #466 on: November 15, 2017, 05:20:37 AM »
^ what does the second j stand for in your blowjob acronym?

jazzercise

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fulltechnicalskizzy

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #467 on: November 15, 2017, 06:13:27 AM »
blowjobjitsu

Lobo

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #468 on: November 15, 2017, 06:38:18 AM »
Blow jobs cost extra

Lobo

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #469 on: November 15, 2017, 06:40:08 AM »
^ what does the second j stand for in your blowjob acronym?
Your mom Jennifer

doublesteveburger

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #470 on: November 19, 2017, 08:29:22 AM »
After you finish pooping do you button your pants back up or wash your hands first? The thought of poop particles renting out property on my pants button/belt buckle make me uneasy. Although there's poop particles on practically everything everywhere all the time always, but I already have enough trouble sleeping at night so I try not to think about that.
Everything I've ever done has been on drugs

bawtawd5

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Re: wiping your butt
« Reply #471 on: November 22, 2017, 10:05:43 AM »
Yo I just raw cheek at work, unless theres piss, but I just wipe up the piss.