Author Topic: Vov Vurnquist  (Read 28029 times)

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ahlee

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Vov Vurnquist
« on: November 04, 2008, 05:39:05 AM »

mr. otsu

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2008, 06:00:34 AM »
I suspect he's you.


Vov Vurnquist for Mod.

busey

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2008, 07:27:23 AM »
how did this all begin? it's like walking into an amazing movie half way through and wondering what the fuck happened.
I rolled my ankle jacking off on a ladder.

SFblah

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2008, 07:54:25 AM »

Vov Vurnquist.

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2008, 01:52:23 PM »
I suspect hes got a huge organic squash in his khakis.


Vov Vurnquist for Mod.

oldeath

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2008, 02:12:15 PM »
I suspect hes got a huge organic squash in his khakis.


Vov Vurnquist for Mod.
dont call it a comeback

ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2008, 05:55:35 PM »
there is hope for slap

sebastian toombs

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2008, 06:04:23 PM »
I prefer 'Bob Burnquist pulls a Jesse Jackson?'

https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=20328.0


belongs in "classic slap".   i miss gub and OG chris hansen too

ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2008, 06:19:04 PM »
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

Vov Vurnquist.

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2008, 06:23:03 PM »
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

frig deuce

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2008, 06:32:45 PM »
hahahahhahahahahaha

BREAK IT DOWN SON! ITS TIME FOR A SHOWDOWN!
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tanhoe

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2008, 06:53:54 PM »
how did this all begin? it's like walking into an amazing movie half way through and wondering what the fuck happened.

lost... heh

Chris Hansen is back

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2008, 10:01:14 PM »
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
“What's up Doc”  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.



Lance

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2008, 10:10:20 PM »
"Hansen droppin bombs like comi, next to flip a tech like a origomi, you cant stop me I'm a zombie"...Quimtime
Anyone else notice that Tony Parker is the Gino of basketball?

ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #14 on: November 07, 2008, 05:16:14 AM »
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>

Doctor Handsome

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #15 on: November 07, 2008, 07:50:50 PM »

crackrazor

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #16 on: November 07, 2008, 08:57:51 PM »
Hahaha.

defiantnate

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #17 on: November 07, 2008, 09:31:36 PM »

Vov Vurnquist.

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #18 on: November 08, 2008, 01:09:41 AM »
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
“What's up Doc”  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.




Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct   

Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.

danker peaches

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #19 on: November 08, 2008, 01:46:30 AM »
wow this is so good

Universal Remonster

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #20 on: November 08, 2008, 01:48:14 AM »
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>

frig deuce

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #21 on: November 08, 2008, 07:49:45 AM »
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>
OH! OH! OH! OH! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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Chris Hansen is back

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #22 on: November 08, 2008, 11:45:32 AM »
Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz

if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...

I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.


Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov  forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
?What's up Doc?  like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.


I'm Chris Hansen.




Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct  

Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.

Oh for fucks sake. I'm Chris Hansen.

When Hanz put bic to paper, he like W.B. Yeats
The second coming, on your wifeys face, to lessen the birth rate.
Vov be that greasy teen, face got more oil than Kuwait.
Bitch, I use that grease, roastin' your weenie at the tail gate.
I be the warden, bend you over, lil Hanz, all up in your prostate.

Droppin' his rhymes like organic soap in the shower
I be rainin' down bullets, oh shit, it's Whitman from the clock tower.
Spray down your corpse with my egg white, like you drinkin whiskey sour.
With Hanz on the tube, Dateline NBC, it's TVs finest hour
Bust in your crib, snatch the children away, and interrupt your golden shower

Draftin' kiddies from the minors like they was Kevin Garnette
Chris the pusher that makes your whole system nervous, like Barbituate
Vov aint ashamed to admit he likes 'em small and sketch, like a vignette
Fuck with Chris? That's the worst bet, full chamber, Russian Roulette

HIV?, pssh Chris got more immunity than Richard Hatch
Servin' your nuts on some Mcenroe shit, game, set, match.

Hanz life.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2017, 07:54:29 PM by Chris Hansen is back »

ALT

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #23 on: November 08, 2008, 11:55:17 AM »
<img src=http://members.arstechnica.com/x/freeman/homer-eating-popcorn-small-c7873.jpg>

Evil Kraken from the Arctic Sea

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #24 on: November 08, 2008, 01:05:03 PM »
I'm more hyped than when I first watched Fully Flared. Can't wait for the show to continue....
Vovmaster Vurn, give him!
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I'll go frontside on some tranny for you.

cliff

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #25 on: November 08, 2008, 01:12:19 PM »
AMAZING!

frisco

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #26 on: November 08, 2008, 01:12:54 PM »
love this thread, instant classic

sweets

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #27 on: November 08, 2008, 01:21:27 PM »
FTW!
"instead of typing out some dumb reply to this post, go make some art, smell your own body, mate with your own hand, take a picture of your penis when it is in half-boner-mode and post it on slap." Tony

biggums mcgee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #28 on: November 08, 2008, 01:49:49 PM »
biggums gonna jump in this one to set the record straight
callin' out all you fat-cats, straight outta upstate
now, we all know the man behind the mask;
Vov, he's the one with the balls
Chris Hansen thinks he'll throw down a pressure drop like toot and the maytels

vurn, you think you own this shit?
hansen thinks he's got the money to burn

but don't sweat it, send me out west to go get it
bustin on you marks like i'm gregg, coming live like a muppets set
the REAL hansen is the one we gotta respect
jim, james, vurnquist taboo
he created roover, big bird and elmo too.

you guys think you own this shit, like will smith its just the two
not anymore, this is 2008. brazill, lansing you all better check yourselves straight!
this thread ain't quite a classic yet
we've still gotta see pontoon boat make his epic return to the 'net!
« Last Edit: November 08, 2008, 01:53:31 PM by biggums mcgee »

danker peaches

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #29 on: November 08, 2008, 04:45:11 PM »
I never thought i would see the day that Chris Hansen and bob burnquist rapped