Author Topic: Vov Vurnquist  (Read 28000 times)

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cold budweisers

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #90 on: June 14, 2009, 09:53:45 AM »
Vov smash his child bride’s dried divide raw hyde, then cast aside.
chris is nice

whisper raps

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #91 on: June 14, 2009, 10:20:25 AM »
whispers:

C Hans’ a bitch, tuggin’ Vov’s dick
With my complexion and voice, a jury’d never convict

I look and sound like a tween, so underage ain’t off limits
I rap the fundamentals, don’t rely on gimmicks

But C Hans it’s all good if you want to hang out
Go to church or do some shrooms; roll with me you’ll get clout



Stoeipoes

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #92 on: June 14, 2009, 04:06:53 PM »
C-hanz, vov v. and J-rogz.




Bitches call me pussy, the horse filler.

Vov Vurnquist.

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #93 on: June 14, 2009, 08:22:10 PM »
^ Rap or GTFO.


This goes out to that trife ass role playing white boy, Vovert V.

The way Vov smoke dick, you’d think he’s Jeffery Stryker
When all Hanz on deck, Chris Number 1 like William Riker
At the Neverland Organic Ramp, kids decked out in chaps like they was bikers.

When Handsome tap ass he always Crusher like Wesley
Vov takin’ cues from the Ex of that bitch, Lisa-Marie Presley
Kids getting drunk on Jesus Juice, send Vov to Sing Sing, make it expressly.

Resistance is futile, so Chris break out the Astroglide.
Vov smash his child bride’s dried divide raw hyde, then cast aside.
Four consecutive life sentences. Chance of parole? Fuck it. Denied.

Roddenberry life.




-You know the name.


tell your wife to take a seat on Vovs buy-in-bulk peter
I beat it up until she fit to be a Wal Mart greeter
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

one verse, your hearse.
seanapaul to you, good sir.


ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #94 on: September 21, 2009, 08:54:32 AM »
Im bumping this in hopes it will light a fire under this mans jen obrien scented posting palms

tysj!

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #95 on: September 21, 2009, 09:59:34 AM »
Thanks for bumping one the best best threads to ever grace this board. Careers were made here and ended for some. Poor Chad didn't stand a chance.
LUTZKA SUCKED HIS OWN DICK OFF
NOW HIS PUSSY IS 120 GRIT SOFT
I PEELED THAT NIGGAS SKIN OFF LIKE GRIPTAPE
ALIEN UNDERNEATH, EXPLODED JIZZ IN HIS BITCH'S FACE!

TapLuxiferfet

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #96 on: September 21, 2009, 12:56:45 PM »
DICK RIDE MY STONE COCK GARGOYLE 4 LIFE
BAR HOP ON CROWN ROYAL
NO YOU DON'T
NO
NO
IS HOW YOU FLOW
THINK YOU COULD HANDLE A BAR FIGHT
HA YOU LOST THE ROSHAMBO
WHAT BITCH GARGOYLES 4 LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

09 STRAIGHT ON TOP THE BUILDINGS

ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #97 on: September 21, 2009, 01:01:37 PM »
pretty tite rap y0

TapLuxiferfet

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #98 on: September 21, 2009, 01:43:16 PM »
YO DUNKA G
UMA THURMAN RUBBING MY DICK
MARIJUANA UP IN MY PIPE
LIFE AS A GARGOYLE
PULP FICTION SLASH THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT
FIST UP YOUR ASS
HA DON'T SNEEZE AND LAUGH WE CALL THAT A HILARIOUS GAZOONTIGHT
CHARIOTS OF FIRE MOTHERFUCKER I WAS AN EXTRA IN PROM NIGHT
OSIRIS LINGERE LINE CHRISTMAS 09 CATCH ME ON THE RUNWAY
I'LL MODEL THAT SHIT LIKE A HERMAPHADITE
WHAT FUCKHEAD GARGOYLE STATUS AIN'T NO JOKE
THINK YOU LARGE FUCK YOUS AN ANT UNDER A MAGNIFYING GLASS
CHECK THE HUBBLE TELESCOPE

I'M A NEWLY DISCOVERED PLANET

DO THE MATH

I'M HELLA DOPE

CHANZ OR VOV FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
GARGOYLE BITCH I AIN'T NO DRAGON
I CAN NEVER BE SLAYED

I AIN'T NO JOKE BITCH GARGOYLES 4 LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #99 on: September 21, 2009, 01:47:53 PM »
alright alright, let me give this a whirl...

YO YO YO...

...youre a faggot.

TapLuxiferfet

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #100 on: September 21, 2009, 02:10:13 PM »
alright alright, let me give this a whirl...

YO YO YO...

...youre a faggot.

YO YO YO
I DON'T PLAY WITH YO YO'S
DON'T CALL ME A FAGGOT THATS NOT POLITE
NO HOMO
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GROW UP LIKE RYAN SHECKLER
NO BROMO
I'M A GARGOYLE 4 LIFE CHECK MY PHOTOS IN HECKLER
WHAT WHAT GARGOYLES RUN THE STREETS I AIN'T NO JOKE BITCH I AIN'T NO JOKE
HA!

ahlee

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #101 on: December 02, 2009, 05:23:34 AM »

Chris Hansen is back

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #102 on: December 02, 2009, 08:53:14 AM »
Vov down on the waterfront, could have been a contender
Straight focused his account, put past splendor in his fruit smoothie blender.
Flew his white organic cotton jizz sock from his compound gates, packed it in, full surrender.

Took a short grind of a long Canyon now he free fallin’ like Tom Petty.
He smash at the bottom, cut up like machete, future aint lookin’ bright, fuckin’ human confetti.
Hanzy up in the comfort of his own home, munchin’ whole-wheat spaghetti.
Got Vov’s spine on a plinth, a work of art, straight Giacometti.

-Domestic Bliss Life.

FakieFlipCG

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #103 on: December 02, 2009, 04:27:15 PM »
Vov down on the waterfront, could have been a contender
Straight focused his account, put past splendor in his fruit smoothie blender.
Flew his white organic cotton jizz sock from his compound gates, packed it in, full surrender.

Took a short grind of a long Canyon now he free fallin’ like Tom Petty.
He smash at the bottom, cut up like machete, future aint lookin’ bright, fuckin’ human confetti.
Hanzy up in the comfort of his own home, munchin’ whole-wheat spaghetti.
Got Vov’s spine on a plinth, a work of art, straight Giacometti.

-Domestic Bliss Life.

commence  slow-clap now.

MurrayHewitt

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #104 on: December 02, 2009, 05:17:52 PM »

brooklyn brawler

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #105 on: December 02, 2009, 07:49:28 PM »
THIS IS BERRA AND KOSTON'S FAULT

Chris Hansen is back

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #106 on: December 03, 2009, 12:02:11 PM »
Bump this thread like Judge Dread pump lead.


Here lies the body of Vovert V.
Trife ass nigga of inbred pedigree.
Vile vector of filth, straight hepatitis B.
Tombstone overgrown with Brazil nut trees
Smashed in by vandals, nothin’ left but debris.
So on this day C-Hanz must decree:
He’s guaranteed nicest emcee, to ever grace the marquee
This whole verse, off the top of the dome, insult to injury.

-Hanz in glove.

everypennyfedcar

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #107 on: December 03, 2009, 12:20:45 PM »
wait, this thread isn't classic slap?
Spray it like a high-rank sniper in the West Bank.

snickers

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #108 on: March 22, 2010, 01:10:39 AM »
Sorry if I'm depressing snickers/ice nine/whoever.  We can't all be tatted up, broad-slaying, OC, cool guys.

professional

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #109 on: March 22, 2010, 04:18:53 AM »
greatest thread I have ever read through on Slap. So stoked for my first day of work now, thanks C Hans.

SFblah

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #110 on: March 22, 2010, 09:46:07 AM »
wait, this thread isn't classic slap?
bump

It should be Classic.  I bookmarked it forever ago.

raul

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #111 on: March 22, 2010, 11:11:15 AM »
How did this fly under my radar for a year and a half? I laugh, I cried, and I referred to Wikipedia and the dictionary a bunch of times throughout this thing. I hope this thread wins an award.

Chris Hansen is back

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #112 on: March 22, 2010, 12:33:27 PM »
Vovvy, Come back.


Christopher Hansen’s got more Hoes than a Thunder-Cat
Vov jerkin’ to Huggies ads, dick hard from the baby fat.
C’s schlong so long, he needs a Mexican Jimmy Hat.
I’m straight Macaulay and Vov Dansen, getting even, tit for tat.

Slim-Jim length and King-Cobra can girth
When C hit wifey’s section, no hope for Vaginal birth.
I wreck pussies from Lansing down to Fort Worth.
Meanwhile,Vov actin’ gay for Tom Ford, like he was Colin Firth.


Vov, getting called out like BINGO was his name-o
Chris is bound stir up controversy like reinstating Jim Crow
Vov treat take your kid to work, like a Saigon strip show
Chris primed to slice off tiny appendages, modern day Van Gogh
Tossin’ out social commentary like this was a hammer throw,
Word to Henry David Thoreau.


I'm Chris Hansen

blackalbino

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #113 on: March 22, 2010, 12:38:29 PM »
does not get any better than this
i think the self-clap should be more socially acceptable

sweets

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #114 on: March 22, 2010, 12:53:38 PM »
Wow. Motherfucking wow.
"instead of typing out some dumb reply to this post, go make some art, smell your own body, mate with your own hand, take a picture of your penis when it is in half-boner-mode and post it on slap." Tony

Bipsmound

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #115 on: March 22, 2010, 01:18:35 PM »
Upon yonder hills do my eyes deceive
Hanson with a stale reprieve
Tooting his horn like a rusty trumpet
Bragging hard cause he bagged a strumpet

Seeking to tarnish Vov's varnish
With unreasonable claims of penile garnish
Indisputable king says he
But I'm still here and I'm still free

Orphan children in my bed
They smile and laugh and give me head
The love of minors envelopes my bloom
As they learn to play my wood bassoon

A half hour or more he spends on his rebuttal
I'm already out the door with a tight end to scuttle
Hanson's wrath may know no bounds
As I mine his children, even those with downs.

Chris Hansen is back

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #116 on: March 22, 2010, 02:53:29 PM »
Oh blah dee, oh blah da,

Bips got his prick buried in Corky, from Life Goes On.
Layin’ waste to mongoloid’s butt-holes, like he be Genghis Khan.
Treatin’ special-ed report cards like porn, a target to cum-on.
Straight Mcgonagall poetry bites is tired, Bips’ lyrical account, overdrawn.
Drop a whole track? Pssh, Only if agreed upon.
Next poem you write will be your last, something like a swan-song.
For now, fuck it and fuck you Bips, conclusion is forgone.

Bipsmound

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #117 on: March 22, 2010, 03:10:37 PM »
My last poem will be on Swan Song, Led Zeppelin's label
Annihilating child rectum like an old witch in a fable
Rocking the bells on your son's Christmas socks
Affecting more youngsters than the return of smallpox

My didgeridoo ain't gettin played by a hippy
All the kids be screamin, "give it to me Bippy!"
Your hunting skills fall way short of correct
With C-Hanz Jr. always callin me collect 

pyrex vision

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #118 on: March 22, 2010, 03:15:24 PM »

Upgrayedd

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Re: Vov Vurnquist
« Reply #119 on: March 22, 2010, 03:18:20 PM »
Upon yonder hills do my eyes deceive
Hanson with a stale reprieve
Tooting his horn like a rusty trumpet
Bragging hard cause he bagged a strumpet

Seeking to tarnish Vov's varnish
With unreasonable claims of penile garnish
Indisputable king says he
But I'm still here and I'm still free

Orphan children in my bed
They smile and laugh and give me head
The love of minors envelopes my bloom
As they learn to play my wood bassoon

A half hour or more he spends on his rebuttal
I'm already out the door with a tight end to scuttle
Hanson's wrath may know no bounds
As I mine his children, even those with downs.
a challenger approaches..... ;D


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