Author Topic: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls  (Read 45476 times)

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loophole

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2009, 07:19:45 AM »
a

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2009, 08:19:00 AM »
I have a suspicion the eunuchs rock crystal balls, a.

Just Green Enough

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2009, 09:40:36 AM »
d...can't you be drunk off of cheap asian liquor? throw some of that up.
I am in fact, a homosexual like Brian Anderson

Choad Muskrat

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2009, 09:43:54 AM »
b) ....I want to advance the crystal balls storyline

Bipsmound

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2009, 11:45:56 AM »
Regis Cooley looks at you sheepishly.  A pitiful look comes across his face and suddenly he looks much older and much lonelier than he did before.  "Now you know my weakness", Regis says, "I can't help myself".  He begins to sob and you put your hand on his shoulder in a vain attempt to stop the tears.  "Don't worry", you say, "your secret is safe with me."  Regis looks up, clearly relieved, "Really?  You won't tell?"  "Actually, I was wondering if you might be able to make some introductions for me."  A twisted grin breaks out across Regis' face, "I didn't know you liked to get wet!"  Regis scribbles out an address on a piece of scrap paper and you both agree to meet back at his place later on.

You hire a rickshaw and he brings you right to the address Regis gave you.  It is a thoroughly squalid low rise apartment building.  There is some sort of river of black ooze that you step over to get to the entrance.  You walk in through the open door and there is a haggard women cleaving what looks to be a cat.  She sees you and hollers, "What you wan?  What you wan?"  Her gruff demeanor puts you off slightly and you hesitate, but she continues, "You wan boy?  Ya, you wan boy.  I have nice boy for you.  Very pretty boy.  You follow me."

She leads you to a back room through a beaded curtain.  Sitting on a bed is a small shirtless chinese boy, looking to be about 14.  He looks at you, but his sullen expression doesn't change.  The haggard woman says, "You pay now.  You wan mouth you pay 50 yuan.  You wan make boom boom corybungus you pay 100.  You pay now."  You hand the woman a 100 yuan note and she leaves you alone with the boy.

You look at the boy and wonder if you can go through with this.  His skin is smooth and supple like ripe fruit.  You can hear the woman cleaving away in the other room.  The boy looks at you, he whispers, "Mister.  I know a secret."  He puts a finger to his lips to urge quiet.  You are somewhat taken aback at his good english and he doesn't seem quite so exotic anymore.  "I know about the crystal balls.  If you get me out of here I can make you a very powerful man."  You study his face.  It seems everybody knows about these blasted crystal balls but you.
You:

a) Roast his rump for such insolence
b) Make fake orgasm noises and sprint out with the boy in tow
c) Go toe to toe with the cleaver woman
d) Ask the boy if he knows what you call cheese that isn't yours

MexicanSpaniard

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2009, 11:51:13 AM »
All of the above!
Forever old



TEXAS

pancake man

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Baker4Life

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2009, 01:25:24 PM »
d

Boston.

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2009, 02:04:52 PM »
C

bentmode

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #39 on: February 18, 2009, 04:49:39 PM »
i came for the corybungus.

a.
Han solo blew up the Death Star in Episode 4.  Heard it from a friend.  Reliable source.



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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2009, 08:13:15 PM »
a) , then have Chris Hansen continue the story.

rocklobster

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #43 on: February 18, 2009, 10:55:06 PM »
a) , then have Chris Hansen continue the story.

Choad Muskrat

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2009, 11:06:06 AM »
b) i'm sure the boy will offer buttsecks for freeing him anyways

tiger woods

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2009, 12:05:15 PM »
damn, i'd choose all of em too!!

i'll go with B tho

loophole

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #46 on: February 22, 2009, 05:01:21 AM »
bump?

Bipsmound

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #47 on: February 24, 2009, 07:59:22 AM »
You are in a rage.  How dare this young piece of meat try to barter his way out of your hump sesh.  You flip him on his stomach and tear his pants off.  You put your knee into his lower back and pull his head back by his jet black hair.  "You will tell me about the crystal balls."  The power you feel over the boy begins to stiffen your loins.  You slap his corybungus hard and you are pleased with the firmness and bounce of his bottom.  He writhes beneath you and moans quietly in discomfort, but he's used to the rough stuff.  The song "Rock and Roll Part 2" plays in your head as you penetrate him.  "Have you ever heard of AIDS?", you snarl at the boy.  He whimpers in acknowledgment as you pump harder.  "Well I've got it."  He squirms in vain in an attempt to break free, but you hold him steady by the shoulders, savagely thrusting like an animal.  "You tell me about the crystal balls, or I'm gonna blast you full of AIDS".  The boy consents, "OK!  OK!  I'll tell you!". 

You dismount the whippersnapper without finishing, as you surmise that the threat of a still hard, supposedly AIDS ridden penis will make the boy talk.  He begins, "I heard about the balls from a fat american who came here.  He was drunk on Jian Zhuang.  He was mean.  He said that once the chosen one possesses the crystal balls, all of us, all the children, will become enslaved.  He said that the power of the balls will free his people."  You contemplate the boy's words.  "Is that all you know?"  "Yes mister, please, that's all I know".  You remember what Ali Atmaca told you on the ship, about leading mankind out of the darkness.  Was that what he meant?  A new age of rampant child fucking?

You leave the house, walk past the cleaving woman and down the street, deep in thought.  You see some children playing happily and feel a twinge of pity.  You find yourself at an ethical crossroads. 
You:

a) Resolve to destroy the crystal balls
b) Seek to harness the power of the balls and usher in an era of acceptable nambla status
c) Pray to the savior Jesus Christ and ask forgiveness for your trespasses
d) Go to the opium den to try and forget about your problems       

       

nice weather

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #48 on: February 24, 2009, 08:10:25 AM »
a) child abuse is not funny people! just trying to save the Bipster from going to hell.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2009, 08:11:57 AM by Yo Mr. Hapredingli »

frisco

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #49 on: February 24, 2009, 08:11:30 AM »
buu buu buu ba bee

b

rocklobster

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #50 on: February 24, 2009, 08:25:18 AM »
D, this seems like too much work for our hero....

CeeyMar

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #51 on: February 24, 2009, 08:55:31 AM »
Bumble B

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #52 on: February 24, 2009, 08:58:25 AM »
D, this seems like too much work for our hero....
He just ass raped a male minor, he needs to regroup/collect his thoughts before making another move.
Forever old



TEXAS

Boston.

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #53 on: February 24, 2009, 10:42:37 AM »
D, this seems like too much work for our hero....

Bipsmound

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #54 on: February 24, 2009, 10:54:47 AM »
As you walk down a particularly filthy Hong Kong alley, you pause in front of a slightly ominous looking shanty.  A toothless man with a long braided ponytail standing in the doorway motions to you.  After ravaging the young boy, you feel remorseful and ready to lie down in the gutter.  The man smiles a charming gummy smile and coaxes you inside.  The interior is lit by candles and several degenerates are lying about the room on mattresses.  A peculiar stench hangs in the air like the pungent odor of fruit on the point of rotting.  The man directs you to a mattress without saying a word and motions for you to lie down.  He produces a long pipe and you bring it to your lips.  He lights the pipe for you.  You inhale long and deep.

You watch the smoke swirl up to the tin roof.  You find some repose in being tucked away in a quiet corner of such a busy bustling city.  Your eyelids are becoming unbearably heavy.  You give up on keeping your eyes open and let yourself drift away into the recesses of your mind.  You feel as if you are floating in a pool of heavy water.  Images begin to pass before your eyes.  Right to left, objects sail by.  A tire swing, your childhood dog Elmore, a homemade fishing rod.  You have a vision of children of all ethnicities holding hands dancing around a campfire.  You watch the smiling faces, but they turn to fear.  All manor of savage men jump out of the bushes.  You see Hitler spanking the naked bottom of an Inuit boy.  Genghis Khan is buggering a wailing little blonde girl.  Caligula has the face of an African boy in his lap as he drools profusely.  Then from the sky, two perfect orbs of the clearest crystal descend.  They crash to the ground amidst the carnage and shatter into pieces.  The infamous men immediately begin to fade.  You hear an echo from the dark abyss before you, "Journey to Nanking.  Avert a second raping and all shall be well."

You wake up in a cold sweat.  Your surroundings become less startling as you begin to remember how you got there.  You pay the ponytailed man and go out into the street.  Your beeper goes off, son.  You take it out of your LA Gear fanny pack.  It's a 911 from Regis Cooley and you shudder slightly at the thought of his lecherous face.  
You:

a) Get a train ticket for Nanking
b) See what's up with Regis
c) Score some more opium for the road
d) Turn yourself in at the local police station and confess your pederasty
      

rocklobster

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #55 on: February 24, 2009, 11:25:07 AM »
C, B, followed by A.....

beardface

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #56 on: February 24, 2009, 01:19:02 PM »
C, B, followed by A.....
yeah, do that.
She can't complain about it being gross- she's shooting pussy juice at your face.

MexicanSpaniard

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #57 on: February 24, 2009, 02:26:39 PM »
C, B, followed by A.....
yeah, do that.
Yes, but there should be an option of securing a female hooker for the ride as well, maybe Regis can help.
Forever old



TEXAS

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #58 on: February 24, 2009, 08:01:50 PM »
i want to know what happens next!!
I mean, if the creator of the universe is truly concerned with where you put your penis, then surely he has an opinion on who had the best part in Fully Flared.

Boston.

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Re: CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE 2 - Secret of the Crystal Balls
« Reply #59 on: February 24, 2009, 08:10:50 PM »
C, B, followed by A.....
yeah, do that.
Yes, but there should be an option of securing a female hooker for the ride as well, maybe Regis can help.