Author Topic: have you ever been caught masturbating thread  (Read 3747 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

popeyesfriedchicken

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 841
  • Rep: -250
have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« on: September 11, 2009, 10:25:08 PM »
let's see...  i remember when i was really young, maybe 13 or so, my little sister opened the door while my dick was out.  she saw everything but i don't think she remembers.

also around the same time my mom got pissed at me because of all these weird stains on some t shirts and socks when she did laundry.  embarrassing as fuck. 

i'm also pretty sure my friend saw me jacking off through the window when i was 16 or so but never told me.  he'd always look in through the window to see if i was there before ringing the doorbell before we'd go skate. 

snickers

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1845
  • Rep: 100
  • \_(ツ)_/
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2009, 10:30:49 PM »
believe it or not, never.
Sorry if I'm depressing snickers/ice nine/whoever.  We can't all be tatted up, broad-slaying, OC, cool guys.

HRPoodersmith

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 666
  • Rep: 63
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2009, 10:33:58 PM »
let's see...  i remember when i was really young, maybe 13 or so, my little sister opened the door while my dick was out.  she saw everything but i don't think she remembers.

Oh, she remembers. 

And the only time people have seen me masturbating is when I've wanted them to see me masturbating

Hola

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 776
  • Rep: 56
  • 2NE1
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2009, 11:48:54 PM »
let's see...  i remember when i was really young, maybe 13 or so, my little sister opened the door while my dick was out.  she saw everything but i don't think she remembers.

Oh, she remembers. 

And the only time people have seen me masturbating is when I've wanted them to see me masturbating

it was so dramatic when i read this

j0rdan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1521
  • Rep: 82
  • ))<>(( forever.
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2009, 12:17:22 AM »
believe it or not, never.
yeah, me neither. it's pretty nice, but I'm pretty sure my mom's seen my dick before when she used to wake me up for school. I used to sleep naked, for some reason, and more than once I've woken up to my mom yelling and leaving the room while my dick was out. fucking embarassing.

WWD4D?

  • Guest
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2009, 12:23:06 AM »
Yep, just recently too. My moms friend of all people walked in on me while is trying to rub one out in front of the computer screen. Pretty awkward to say the least...

snickers

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1845
  • Rep: 100
  • \_(ツ)_/
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2009, 04:10:41 AM »
believe it or not, never.
yeah, me neither. it's pretty nice, but I'm pretty sure my mom's seen my dick before when she used to wake me up for school. I used to sleep naked, for some reason, and more than once I've woken up to my mom yelling and leaving the room while my dick was out. fucking embarassing.
oh man, thats not too bad. when i was 11, used to walk around my house completely naked. i didnt care if anyone was home or not, so i'm pretty sure my entire family has seen my dick.
Sorry if I'm depressing snickers/ice nine/whoever.  We can't all be tatted up, broad-slaying, OC, cool guys.

GnArcIsSisTic

  • Guest
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2009, 04:29:32 AM »
one time i had to stay with my pastor and his wife cuz my mom was off island. i nearly always sleep naked, and i did at their place. one night, i couldn't sleep, so i thought it'd be cool to sneak all ninja like past their room, and past the living room, into the kitchen to get a glass of water. i got past everything and made it to the kitchen and started looking for a glass when suddenly the tv turned on in the living room. it was just some white noise, and i was freaking out because it was like midnight and i was ass naked in my pastor's kitchen. well, it ended up he was sleeping on the couch and i somehow woke him. i thought maybe i could crawl into a cupboard or something, but i just froze there, in a ball, covering whatever i could. he came in and turned on the light and was like "what is going on? i don't even want to hear it, go to sleep." so me and my 13 year old naked butt booked it back to my bedroom and closed the door.

then the next day WHEN HE DROVE ME TO SCHOOL he asked me if i knew about masturbation... wtf. i tried to convince him i was sleepwalking or something but it wasn't flying.

i still can't imagine to this day what exactly it is he thought i was doing... naked in his kitchen...

PFIASB

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 245
  • Rep: -55
  • Formerly Elmo!
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2009, 04:33:32 AM »
believe it or not, never.
yeah, me neither. it's pretty nice, but I'm pretty sure my mom's seen my dick before when she used to wake me up for school. I used to sleep naked, for some reason, and more than once I've woken up to my mom yelling and leaving the room while my dick was out. fucking embarassing.
oh man, thats not too bad. when i was 11, used to walk around my house completely naked. i didnt care if anyone was home or not, so i'm pretty sure my entire family has seen my dick.
oh thats nasty

never been caught, too sneaky
.

DevilOnEnzyte

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1192
  • Rep: -236
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2009, 06:11:01 AM »
Busted by my dad.
I snuck one of his porn mags and tried to rub one out.
He walks in, there's an awkward look, then he says "Atleast your looking at pussy. Carry on".
He closed the door and I went back to work.
I get to see Devil semi regularly and his little dude is rad as hell. My wife and I aren't into having little ones, but that'll give me more time to be a god uncle and teach Devil's spawn to slang weed.

Pete

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3282
  • Rep: 168
  • Free Max B
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2009, 07:36:09 AM »
i just got caught reading the have you ever been caught masturbating thread.
FREE MAX B

Rafiki

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1536
  • Rep: -48
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2009, 08:16:58 AM »
Busted by my dad.
I snuck one of his porn mags and tried to rub one out.
He walks in, there's an awkward look, then he says "Atleast your looking at pussy. Carry on".
He closed the door and I went back to work.
Ahahahahaha
neva been caught had some close calls though

PFIASB

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 245
  • Rep: -55
  • Formerly Elmo!
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2009, 09:43:11 AM »
.

HoneyBear

  • Guest
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2009, 11:26:08 AM »
Never been caught but i have walked in on people.When i was in 8th grade some kid was beating off in the locker room and i saw him and he looked me dead in my eyes and blew his load.We became best friends instantly.

PFIASB

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 245
  • Rep: -55
  • Formerly Elmo!
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2009, 12:40:04 PM »
Never been caught but i have walked in on people.When i was in 8th grade some kid was beating off in the locker room
i can relate, but i was such a dick to the kid. his mom died and whenever he came around i happened to talk about moms. i made him cry 5-8 times
.

ALT

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1562
  • Rep: 124
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2009, 12:53:45 PM »
No. But a while ago in the morning I heard my mum say to my dad "was Thomas masturbating all night last night?"

Which made me feel a bit uneasy. 
« Last Edit: September 12, 2009, 02:53:37 PM by ALT »

frisco

  • Guest
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2009, 03:28:17 PM »
twice, both times were severely awkward

CigaretteBeer

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 6331
  • Rep: -389
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2009, 03:48:04 PM »
I don't know if I was actually caught or not. When I was a teenager, I was jerking it under a blanket and my dad came into my room and said "dude you have to try this pizza". He gave me a bite while my dick was pulsating under the blanket and I wondered if he knew or not.
"You were such a shitty parent that your kid couldn't even make it to term A guy who killed his child before it could be born because he was so shitty didn't do anything wrong.You know how the rest of us became positive members of society BY NOT BEING PIECES OF SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE"-Ronald Reagon

frisco

  • Guest
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #18 on: September 12, 2009, 03:54:12 PM »
your dad calls you dude, what a modern man

Zurg

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5226
  • Rep: 556
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2009, 04:11:57 PM »
hahaha, i saw the title of this thread and decided not to open it, but instead to beat off. 5 minutes later i hear someone walking in the hall and my door flings open, it was my room mates dad asking where his son was. so embarrassing, but pretty funny. this all just happened a few minutes ago. I guess although moving out reduces chances of getting caught by your parents, it increases the chances of getting caught by someone elses parents

Upgrayedd

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3750
  • Rep: 435
  • Fuck Tom Knox
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #20 on: September 12, 2009, 04:20:20 PM »
my girlfriend (at the time) caught me once "austin i'd help ya, but you seem to be doing a damn good job by yourslef" that was a class act lady


Slap Gravitational Waveboarding Magazine:
"We can't do it yet, but when we can it'll be sick."
-grim

RightCoastBiased

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2308
  • Rep: -53
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #21 on: September 12, 2009, 04:27:04 PM »
Never got caught jerking off, but did have my pops walk in on me fucking some girl. That was the only time I've ever been caught in any sexual situation.

nocomply

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 961
  • Rep: 146
  • Handsome
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #22 on: September 12, 2009, 06:27:38 PM »
my wife has caught me countless times. I don't even hide it though. If I'm in the mood and I know she's not down to bone at the moment, I'll be like "don't come in the bedroom for a few minutes I'm going to beat off".  Anyway, sometimes when she catches me I ask her to help me out. That only ever worked like twice. Usually though she gasps in horror and runs out the room as fast as possible.

Bobbito

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1714
  • Rep: -14
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #23 on: September 13, 2009, 12:27:54 AM »
my wife has caught me countless times. I don't even hide it though. If I'm in the mood and I know she's not down to bone at the moment, I'll be like "don't come in the bedroom for a few minutes I'm going to beat off".  Anyway, sometimes when she catches me I ask her to help me out. That only ever worked like twice. Usually though she gasps in horror and runs out the room as fast as possible.

haha I am never getting married

Nic

  • Guest
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #24 on: September 13, 2009, 12:28:29 AM »
Twice, By the same girlfriend. The first time I was waiting for her in her room while she was helping her mom with something and I was looking at the pictures she had on her wall. I saw one of her and her friends in bikinis and I got a hard on so I went into her bathroom to try to wank it real fast and she walks in and was surprised and yelled. I experienced blue balls for the first time that day.


The second time it was at her house again, and she was making pizza rolls and she comes up to me watching some swimsuit show with my dick in hand. She just was surprised I got caught twice. I tried to convince her to help me out this time but it wasn't happening. I did finish this time though.


Also I normally don't masturbate in other peoples houses, but I was 15 and horny.

The Drew

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1438
  • Rep: 134
Re: have you ever been caught masturbating thread
« Reply #25 on: September 13, 2009, 07:27:57 AM »
The first time i got busted was when i was 14 by mum... I7ve been caught a few more times but i can't remember the specifics... but when you're a serial masturbator what are you going to do