Author Topic: Awkward moments from your youth.  (Read 17641 times)

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Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Awkward moments from your youth.
« on: August 31, 2009, 12:13:34 PM »
Everybody gets into some embarassing shit once in a while. Share the ones that are old enough that you can laugh about them now.
I'll start:
When I was 15 in high school I took a lifeguarding class instead of regular gym. At one point we were practicing spinal rescues and putting people on a backboard. One time I was acting as the victim when these two really hot girls were suppose to "save" me for a test. I got all dead like, and the first girl grabbed me and pulled me onto the board, then the girls started putting their hands all over me to put me on the board. They were just in bathing suits and suddenly, I started getting hard. When it happened my waist was underwater and the bathingsuit was floating, so you couldn't see it. I wanted to adjust myself so badly,  but they wouldn't let me move, and strapped me down to the board. I tried thinking of all the terrible gross things I could. I thought about the baby being born video and penis warts pictures we were shown in health class. I thought about a freaky porn my friend showed me where a two penis man fucked a hermaphordite. Nothing worked. These girls boobs were hanging over my face and I was a virgin, it was too much. Eventually, after my internal battle, they pulled me out of the water and revealed that I was at full attention. Both girls made open sounds of revulsion. The rest of the year I couldn't look either in the eye.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Upgrayedd

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2009, 12:28:13 PM »
pretty much anything i have either said or done belongs here. I'm an awkward, awkward young man.


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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2009, 12:29:29 PM »
haha...that's awesome.

I was really young when this happened....like 1st grade or something. I remember going on a field trip to a place called Rogers Park in Culver City and I ended up taking a piss off of the swirl slide all over my classmates. I don't know what I was thinking about except that I wanted my piss to look like a waterfall. I didn't even notice the line waiting to get on the slide until it was too late. I got into quite a bit of trouble for that.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2009, 12:46:38 PM »
That reminds me of another one. This was like 2nd grade or something. Had to shit really bad, but didn't like using school toilets. Held it as long as I could, and in the end, had to run to the bathroom and try to shit. I couldn't make it though, as soon as I dropped trou, a giant log shot out of my ass and landed on the bathroom floor. Embarassed and ashamed, I tried to clean it up. In the end, instead of cleaning it, I pretty much just smeared shit all over my clothes and went back to the daycare service in the building. They were horrified, and the only other two kids who were still there promised not to tell anybody
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Nancy Chin The Manicurist

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2009, 12:55:26 PM »
i vomited into my hand once and then threw it into a crowd of people. Miraculously, no one was harmed. I always just assumed God himself came down and performed some sort of divine intervention.



popeyesfriedchicken

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2009, 01:42:17 PM »
i was really young in karate class, like 8 or 9.  i was sitting on the wall about to do my forms to get my next belt and sitting next to this other kid.  the room was completely quiet while some older people were doing their forms.  the kid next to me had his ass against the wall and let rip a huge fart that the whole studio could hear.  everyone immediately turned their heads over to us and the kid looked at me with this huge face of disgust as if i had farted.  everyone thought that i farted because of that little bastard.  shit sucked. 

13callsBS

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2009, 02:13:28 PM »
i vomited into my hand once and then threw it into a crowd of people. Miraculously, no one was harmed. I always just assumed God himself came down and performed some sort of divine intervention.

I literally lol'd.

Upgrayedd

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2009, 02:16:22 PM »
i shit myself in the luchroom in pre-school. and i dont mean solid brick shit.....the consistency of a thinly melted milkshake.


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whiteley

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2009, 02:29:43 PM »
sadly, not from my youth...
something i should have taken care of on my 21st birthday maybe but i saved it until my 27th for some reason. my birthday, at the bar, friend's band playing, friends buying drinks, bar tenders giving up shots-- 151 and worse in the mix. hours of it. feeling plenty drunk but fine through the night, saying goodbye to everybody, get in the car with wife driving, still feeling fine with the windows rolled down and fresh air streaming. over the course of the drive home the windows go up and i slowly slide down into a ball in the space your feet go, below the dash. we get home, wife tries to get me out, i'm feeling crappy and saying i'll come in in a little while. she pulls me out of the car and onto the sidewalk, tells me to get up and go inside, i'm mumbling to leave me alone and i'll come in later. after 10 minutes of this she's over me and goes inside to call the fire department. she's a nurse and so she knows most of the local fire department and sure enough the fireman who show up are all people she works with which makes her extra pissed because now she gets to hear about this at work. they come pick me up from my puddle-like position on the sidewalk, i tell them to leave me alone, i can walk. they do. i can't walk. they pick me up again, drag me into my apartment, my wife tells them to deposit me in the bathroom where i proceed to puke and have the shakes the entire night, hours long, can't pass out. finally sleep for an hour next to the toilet. wake up, deal with the aftermath. my wife tells all my friends the story the following day, and so to this day anytime my friends see me even with a beer, it's "uh oh, call the fire department!"

PFIASB

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2009, 02:36:40 PM »
i shit myself in the in pre-school. and i dont mean solid brick shit.....the consistency eminem sized snail shells
.

Anti Krooked

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2009, 02:41:28 PM »
try beingapporached by a homosexual in your highschool bathroom first day of school

Man, we can totally eat that pig.  that pig can be in us right now.

nocomply

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2009, 02:43:58 PM »
I got caught beating off by a friend. Growing up I had a mini ramp in my back yard. My friend Jeff came over(unannounced) to skate and knocked on the door. I was in the living room in full view. I jumped up and pulled up my boxers and answered the door.

"hey man I came to skate the ramp. Wanna skate?"
"nah, I'm tired. Go ahead and skate it if you want."
"ok. is everything ok? I looks lie your boxers fell of or something." (with a shit eating grin on his face)
"yeah I'm good". See ya later"

He never mentioned it again, but I couldn't look him in the eye for a few weeks.

Sony MDR V2 Headphones

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2009, 02:46:03 PM »
i walked outside singing an outkast song really loud when my sister and her boyfriend were breaking up. they both had tears in their eyes. i walked back inside. not a word was spoken.
Degrassi is my shit! Omg. I would do things with Emma that would horrify R. Kelly.

Gnarbys

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2009, 02:53:00 PM »
Wow, let's see. I pissed the bed during a sleep over at a friends house, I got beat up by a retarded girl, I shit my pants while handling guns with a friend, my Johnson fell out in PE while attempting a long jump, I took a girls virginity and she told all of her friends it didn't hurt at all, and forgot Guy had last part in Mouse.

Gnarbys

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2009, 02:58:28 PM »
The beatdown. So this one time in seventh grade I got my ass kicked by a retarded girl. Strange but true. I was being a little shit head and preceded to pick on this large retarded gal. My friend Joe and I were tag teaming her on the play ground by running up and pushing her from behind and running away. This girl, we’ll call her Diane because that was her name, was a good sport about it. Mostly because she was retarded. Now in terms of the seventh grade Diane was a big kid. Much bigger than the rest of us. Extremely larger that me due to the fact that I was such a late bloomer.
I had never heard the term ‘Retarded Strength” until that very day. In mid push I rebounded and began to run away. Diane spun around “Retarded Fast” and almost grabbed me. This only made the game a little more adventurous. Although I do admit her speed had me alittle shook. Joe took a run at her, pushed from behind and also barely escaped. Now it was my turn and my heart raced at the thought of what this “Girl” would do to me if I was captured! I ran with such determination toward this Juggernaught I over shot my intended target, I was a little higher than I should have been. As my feet hit the ground all I felt was two massive hands grab me at the shoulders. I was fucked! Diane released all the Retarded Strength from her reserve tanks! All I remember was her mighty yank then I was on the ground in much pain.
The story was then told to me by Joe who was laughing the whole time. After the initial grab at the shoulders, Diane pulled me into her in a bear hug posistion. In one bold precise move she lifted my crushed torso into the air and power slammed me into the pavement. All air from my lungs gone. My knees and elbows busted open with flesh torn away. I was in pain, borderline shock at the event that just took place. I was powerless, dead in the water as Diane just walked away. My eyes began to water as sweet, sweet air once again filled my lungs. It was only minutes later that a wrestler kid name Russ picked me up to see the school nurse. No such luck for me that day.
Mr. Healy was my guidance counselor, he was my payback for picking on a retarded girl. No nurse came to my aide. All in all I learned a valuable lesson about retarded girls. 1. Never under estimate the “Retarded Strength Gene”. 2. The movie “Mask” was not a comedy. 3. If I ever see Diane on the street her ass is mine!

PFIASB

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #15 on: August 31, 2009, 03:03:12 PM »
i also shat myself everyday at naptime for a week
i shat myself at a pokemon tournament
shat myself 3 days ago playing call of duty cuz i was doing really good and didnt want to leave
.

CigaretteBeer

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #16 on: August 31, 2009, 03:05:12 PM »
I remember getting boners when I was young, and not knowing what they were, and feeling ashamed
"You were such a shitty parent that your kid couldn't even make it to term A guy who killed his child before it could be born because he was so shitty didn't do anything wrong.You know how the rest of us became positive members of society BY NOT BEING PIECES OF SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE"-Ronald Reagon

whiteley

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #17 on: August 31, 2009, 03:13:51 PM »
Wow, let's see. I pissed the bed during a sleep over at a friends house, I got beat up by a retarded girl, I shit my pants while handling guns with a friend, my Johnson fell out in PE while attempting a long jump, I took a girls virginity and she told all of her friends it didn't hurt at all, and forgot Guy had last part in Mouse.

i think you have a screenplay to write.

Upgrayedd

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #18 on: August 31, 2009, 03:22:57 PM »
I remember getting boners when I was young, and not knowing what they were, and feeling ashamed

i was never ashamed of my early age boners. But im pretty damn sure it made my parents ashamed to take me in public.


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ALT

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2009, 03:38:23 PM »
My PE teacher caught me pissing into a bottle behind the gym.

Mackattack

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #20 on: August 31, 2009, 03:38:38 PM »
From the time i was 8-16 i lived next to these two extreme dykes that my parents always told me were "just sisters".

Anyway.. i was probably 14 and i was home alone so i was beating off wth just a robe on, which should go without saying, and i was downstairs facing the side window jerking away in this stance...
.. probably sporting a very similar facial expression, when suddenly one of my dyke neighbors appears by the window with her hedge trimmers. Her eyes and my one eyed snake's eye met when i was in full a fledge Angus Young style beat off session, and for reasons still unbeknownst to me and to her dismay i just kept going at it. She quickly darted back into her house, undoubtedly telling her lesbian partner of the moment we shared. I honestly wasnt really too embarrassed about the situation and enjoyed seeing her in the front yard after that day.

Rafiki

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #21 on: August 31, 2009, 04:01:33 PM »
I blacked out drunk  and peed all over my my sleeping friend and his bed

therealmario

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #22 on: August 31, 2009, 04:01:51 PM »
one day i came home from school early my senior year. my stepdad usually parks in the driveway, and i didnt see the car so i went in thinking i was home alone and went to the kitchen to get some grub. nature began to call, and our main bathroom downstairs was in the process of being painted, and i didnt feel like darting up the stairs to take a dump. so i go to my parents bathroom to take a shit. apparently my stepdads car was parked in the garage, i swing the door open while simultaneously unbuttoning my jeans  to drop trow. only to find my 58 year old step father laying in the middle of the bathroom, butt ass nekit cranking one out. mind you my pants are undone at this point with one hand holding them up so i can get to the toilet. my eyes first hit his fully erect genitals while he was scrambling to find something to cover up with. our eyes then connected for a solid 3 seconds which at the time felt like forever. shit between us hasn't been the same since...moral of story. always check the garage.

HATE!

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #23 on: August 31, 2009, 04:21:17 PM »
I REALLY needed to read this today.  thanks fellas

I got jumped by a kid with downs in Kindergarten.  I think I've told this on here before.  Anyways, it was clean up time and I told Sean it was time to clean up, and he jumped me.  Choked my little ass out and everything.  The next day he brought an apple to the teacher like he always did and I kicked it out of his hand and got it all bruised and gross and he still gave it to her because he didn't care.  Not long after at the pool he had a seizure on the diving board and had to get drug out while I quietly laughed in the shallow end.  Kinda fucked, but I hated him.

Speaking of retarded kids.  In the 8th grade I had a friend named Josh who had a retarded older sister.  She had severe autism and she was 17 or so.  Anyways I walked in the bathroom and she was naked, covered in shaving cream, shaving her pits and playing with her nipples.  I don't think I could've turned more red.  I felt like I got caught jerking off or some shit by my grandma.  She was cool with it though, she just said "Hi Luke!" and went on about her business.

I had a friend in the 4th grade with a fake arm and he would take it off at PE.  I used to hide stuff in it.  One day I hid like 3 GI Joes in it and he was having a bad day and he yelled at me about it in front of a lot of kids and I just remember feeling like total shit about it.

When I lost my virginity I accidentally stuck it in her butt and she just narrowed her eyes and quietly said, "no...."  and I didn't even know why until months later.  But that made me shy away from sex afterwards.


Ben Throttle

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #24 on: August 31, 2009, 04:43:33 PM »
Watching my friend i used to skate with get his ass kicked by his father all the time. After skating his make shift ramps all day we would go inside and his Dad would be listening to Roxy Music really loud while yelling at him with a strong, drunken British accent "ROB! CAN'T YOU PICK UP THE FUCKIN' MESS IN THE CHICKEN COOP" and he wouldn't want to so his pops would pick him up by his droors and drag him outside while slapping him in the face. I would usually go downstairs and play Battletoads after the first few minutes of watching it
« Last Edit: August 31, 2009, 05:03:57 PM by Ben Throttle »
i thought i was the only one who bruised people with my cum, save it up for about two weeks and release the blast.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #25 on: August 31, 2009, 04:52:34 PM »
Man, whats up with all these ass kicking retarded people? None of the special kids could beat anybody up where I lived.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Rafiki

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #26 on: August 31, 2009, 05:05:20 PM »
Man, whats up with all these ass kicking retarded people? None of the special kids could beat anybody up where I lived.
For real,yall people must have had some beasts!

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #27 on: August 31, 2009, 05:08:42 PM »
Man, whats up with all these ass kicking retarded people? None of the special kids could beat anybody up where I lived.
For real,yall people must have had some beasts!
Maybe this was them:
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

Mackattack

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #28 on: August 31, 2009, 05:15:32 PM »
A story in the vein of ass-kicking retarded people:

       In 7th grade i had an "advisory" period which was basically an hour after lunch to get our shit together and do homework and stuff. I was in the advisory with all the random delinquents and special ED kids.There was this perverted and abnormally jacked retarded kid named Kendrick who always talked about "girls gone wild" and "pumping on the booty." I think he actually won a few events in the special olympics... One day i was chatting with Kendrick, covering all our normal topics: Pro wrestling, dragon ball z, and naked women/girls gone wild. I made a comment about a big breasted girl who i remember as being one of the first girls at our school to have a reputation for being a slut: " Damn Kendrick, look at those big ol tittys!" I jested, much to Kendrick's delight. He exploded into a fit of giddy laughter which got the attention of one of the teachers in charge of watching us.. Kendrick ended up explaining to her exactly what i had said in front of the whole class at the top of his voice and i was sent to the principal to repeat multiple times what i had said to this retarded kid. My mom would have been bummed.

Gnarbys

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #29 on: August 31, 2009, 05:51:21 PM »
Well you guys are God Damn lucky you were able to contain your retarded folk. This girl Diane had about 65 lbs on me and the strength of 1000 Hulks. I'm not kidding, if she tried some shit with me today I'd run her over in a fucking minute. It may be a large case of Karma though. In 5th grade I did the switch out on a retarded kid. His name was Tim and he had a normal headed Han Solo figure. I happened to buy the mongloid headed Han Solo figure. (common knowledge in Star Wars nerdism) As we were talking shop about Star Wars I switched the two figures and got away with that shit clean. Two years later I got the shit stomped out of me by Diane. There's no way I could ever show up at a Special Olympics event without freaking out completely. I could never except a friendly hug from a retard now. This is my curse.