Author Topic: Awkward moments from your youth.  (Read 17685 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

PFIASB

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 245
  • Rep: -55
  • Formerly Elmo!
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #120 on: September 05, 2009, 10:37:02 PM »
Yeah, dude. When I lost my virginity, it was the worst experience. Walk into my room, my girl is naked under blankets. I think I kissed her once, never even touched her boobs or vage. I basically reached down and put it in her, moved around a little, blasted inside her, and that was that. I never jerked off before so I didn't know what it was like to ejaculate. So no foreplay at all, I blasted inside her, and her friend asked me if I came inside her. I barely knew what she meant, so I said "of course I did" and she looked at me like I was retarded. My cousin told me more than likely my girlfriend was pregnant. She was not, and told everyone it did not hurt when I took her virginity. All her other friends made it sound like they were ripped in half when they lost theirs. I was 14, did not know shit about foreplay, thought I got this girl pregnant, then found out I had a small dick. Good times.
what the gipper is trying to say is that your story doesnt make sense

you said that when you were 16 the most you'd ever done was leg rubbing, but you lost your virginty at 14

your story is a lie, you are a liar
.

Miadaskate

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 147
  • Rep: 1
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #121 on: September 05, 2009, 11:57:34 PM »


One time my mom made a cake, and she fed me the little bit of leftover white icing on a spoon. As I stuck out my tongue, she said "This is what it's like when a guy cums in your mouth".

Baker4Life

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #122 on: September 06, 2009, 12:07:28 AM »
Ill be the first to call it...

CLASSIC SLAP

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24919
  • Rep: -889
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #123 on: September 06, 2009, 12:36:05 AM »
Yeah, dude. When I lost my virginity, it was the worst experience. Walk into my room, my girl is naked under blankets. I think I kissed her once, never even touched her boobs or vage. I basically reached down and put it in her, moved around a little, blasted inside her, and that was that. I never jerked off before so I didn't know what it was like to ejaculate. So no foreplay at all, I blasted inside her, and her friend asked me if I came inside her. I barely knew what she meant, so I said "of course I did" and she looked at me like I was retarded. My cousin told me more than likely my girlfriend was pregnant. She was not, and told everyone it did not hurt when I took her virginity. All her other friends made it sound like they were ripped in half when they lost theirs. I was 14, did not know shit about foreplay, thought I got this girl pregnant, then found out I had a small dick. Good times.
what the gipper is trying to say is that your story doesnt make sense

you said that when you were 16 the most you'd ever done was leg rubbing, but you lost your virginty at 14

your story is a lie, you are a liar

That's what I meant, but at the same time, who lies and says that the first time they got laid, that their penis was so small that the girl didn't even feel it?  This is quite the confusing story.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

verbal ham

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 501
  • Rep: 51
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #124 on: September 06, 2009, 01:54:48 AM »
walking through my friends house and seeing his big fat maid droppin bombs in the toilet with the door open, but that was more funny than awkward
also sometime in elementary. during recess i remember taking this clear apple sauce container and trying to flush it down the toilet . instead of going down it was perfectly jammed in there so when u tried to flush it would just kind of explode out ,. fastforward to lunch, so  i walk in to the bathroom and see the area surrounding that stall is straight up flooded with this foul diarrhea nasty  shit....that poor kid never even had a chance.. :o
smooth seas do not make skillful sailors

j0rdan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1521
  • Rep: 82
  • ))<>(( forever.
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #125 on: September 06, 2009, 11:04:16 AM »
Like 9 or 10 years ago, I was on my old family computer and found my dad's stash of porno. not just any porno. fat pregnant chicks getting fucked and having their nipples drained of milk. it was fucking revolting for a kid my age to see that type of shit, let alone know my dad jerked off to it. I also found out he had an adultfriendfinder.com account, which I guess is for hooking up with women in your city. I didn't want to tell my mom or anything, so I just kept it to myself. I think it kinda fucked me up inside, knowing my dad most likely cheated on my mom. I think one day when he made me really mad, I decided to delete all of his porno. the next few days resulted in very awkward situations whenever I saw him.

around like 8 years ago my family computer used to be in my parent's room, right by a window with a clear view of my neighbour's backyard. I don't remember what I was jerking it to, but I do remember that I was completely naked since nobody was home. after I had finished up, I turned around and my neighbours are about 10 feet away from me with a perfect view of what I was doing. after that day, I would always close the blinds when I beat off so nobody could see. and that led to my mom always asking "why are the blinds closed?" which was really awkward in itself.

when I was like 15 I went on a 2 week bender while I was living with my friend. at about 10 am, I was already drunk, and me and my friend decided to walk to another friend's house to play final fantasy. to make the trip quicker we cut across the field of our old elementary school during recess. I started puking and all these kids were watching me and a teacher came over was like "are you alright?" I recognized a lot of the teachers who were outside and I'm sure they all recognized me. I used to be so smart/creative in elementary and there I was, three or four years later, drunk, puking in a field during recess at 10 am on a wednesday.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2009, 11:15:34 AM by j0rdan »

Gomez

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4989
  • Rep: -441
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #126 on: September 06, 2009, 12:37:04 PM »
i was at a wedding for someone who i still have no idea how i'm related to, and then some other relative who i'd never met before comes up to me, introducing himself. he puts out his hand and i look down and realize he's missing half a finger. involuntarily i step back and mumble a disgusted sound, then quickly shake his hand and walk away in shame. i still feel terrible about that.

Cthulhu!

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2749
  • Rep: 345
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #127 on: September 06, 2009, 02:44:01 PM »
One time I was over my aunt's house and I was playing hide and seek with my cousins. I was in the closet for what seemed like hours. I was assuming they forgot about me so I just started to look through all the clothes and stuff. Right there, my uncle's porn stash. This was too much for my little virgin eyes so I just left. Later on I found out they were still looking for me, and when they went into the closet and found the porn, they assumed I was in there rubbing one out because I was missing for so long.


My friend invited me over to his house. I'm just there sitting on the couch while he's in the kitchen getting snacks and shit. His mom walked down the stairs topless. She yelled and ran back upstairs. She thought we were going to my house, so she assumed she would be home alone.

I was dropping off my friend's resume at a local elementary school. I'm waiting, and start to overhear the conversation with the guy ahead of me. He got called in because his kid did something bad. So I'm just sitting there, and the lady explains to him how his son had a digital camera and went into the bathroom with his buddies. They all took pictures of each others dicks. Dad is speechless and starts to turn around. He looked at me and could tell I heard everything.

Star Whores Episode I: The Fellatio Menace

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3241
  • Rep: 176
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #128 on: September 06, 2009, 04:56:25 PM »
when i was like 10 I was staying at a freinds house for the night and I wanted to ask his mom something, so i opened the door to her bedroom and she was ass naked staring at me in complete shock.

I slowly closed the door and went back into my friend's room and played with his tech decks
if post- retirement duke nukem bagged that azz i have a chance too

Goblinshark

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1305
  • Rep: 100
  • It's a trap!
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #129 on: September 06, 2009, 11:55:05 PM »
i was at a wedding for someone who i still have no idea how i'm related to, and then some other relative who i'd never met before comes up to me, introducing himself. he puts out his hand and i look down and realize he's missing half a finger. involuntarily i step back and mumble a disgusted sound, then quickly shake his hand and walk away in shame. i still feel terrible about that.

FUCK this pretty much happened to me on friday night. I bummed this guy a cig and he goes out to shake my hand and i can tell hes missin some digits when he grasps my hand. I had to look.
Stephen Alcala: chris cole anit a loser
Stephen Alcala: frank grewer is an alcholic
Stephen Alcala: LOSER

variation

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #130 on: September 07, 2009, 07:57:26 AM »
i was at a wedding for someone who i still have no idea how i'm related to, and then some other relative who i'd never met before comes up to me, introducing himself. he puts out his hand and i look down and realize he's missing half a finger. involuntarily i step back and mumble a disgusted sound, then quickly shake his hand and walk away in shame. i still feel terrible about that.

FUCK this pretty much happened to me

popeyesfriedchicken

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 841
  • Rep: -250
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #131 on: September 07, 2009, 09:29:51 PM »

My friend invited me over to his house. I'm just there sitting on the couch while he's in the kitchen getting snacks and shit. His mom walked down the stairs topless. She yelled and ran back upstairs. She thought we were going to my house, so she assumed she would be home alone.

I was dropping off my friend's resume at a local elementary school. I'm waiting, and start to overhear the conversation with the guy ahead of me. He got called in because his kid did something bad. So I'm just sitting there, and the lady explains to him how his son had a digital camera and went into the bathroom with his buddies. They all took pictures of each others dicks. Dad is speechless and starts to turn around. He looked at me and could tell I heard everything.

these two probably win the thread

Ronald Wilson Reagan

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 24919
  • Rep: -889
  • I own Malibu? I am going to fuck you.
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #132 on: September 07, 2009, 09:46:57 PM »
Like 9 or 10 years ago, I was on my old family computer and found my dad's stash of porno. not just any porno. fat pregnant chicks getting fucked and having their nipples drained of milk. it was fucking revolting for a kid my age to see that type of shit, let alone know my dad jerked off to it. I also found out he had an adultfriendfinder.com account, which I guess is for hooking up with women in your city. I didn't want to tell my mom or anything, so I just kept it to myself. I think it kinda fucked me up inside, knowing my dad most likely cheated on my mom. I think one day when he made me really mad, I decided to delete all of his porno. the next few days resulted in very awkward situations whenever I saw him.

I feel like this one wins. I feel kind of uneasy even commenting on it.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

ahl33

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #133 on: September 08, 2009, 12:27:37 PM »
i remember shitting in my pants in pre-school.  i didn't go to the bathroom or anything, i just let it sit in my pants the entire day.  kids kept complaining about some smell so the teacher let us go outside for a bit.  some kid was pushing me on the swings and his hand kept mushing the shit all over my ass...
« Last Edit: September 08, 2009, 12:29:25 PM by ahl33 »

bosnianslut

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 124
  • Rep: 25
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #134 on: September 08, 2009, 01:35:31 PM »
When I was about 9 some guy in my class shat on the toilet floor. I walked in and saw him pulling his pants up, that was awkward. What sucks even more is that the fat bastard ran back into the class and blamed me for it.
i really like these Alaiis Mathez French cocoa dusted truffles

Nautical J

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 61
  • Rep: 3
  • BOO YAH
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #135 on: September 08, 2009, 06:13:38 PM »
sophmore year of highschool was trying to lay the mac down on this bitch and we'd been flirting for like a few weeks. So, I see this girl in the hall with same hair cut and backpack and simillary dressed so I got and smack her ass, but it wasn't the girl I thought it was.

tough omelette

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2271
  • Rep: 109
  • かわいい
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #136 on: September 08, 2009, 09:17:19 PM »


yeahbro

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #137 on: September 08, 2009, 09:23:09 PM »
I got a similar one to that. When i was about 9 or 10 my sister did a traveling orchestral thing across europe and i was at one of the concerts in european country x. When the concert is done i go in the back to find her - now keep in mind its an organized classical concert so everyone is wearing identical concert outfits. I'm looking around for my sister and i finally spot who i believe to be her - a medium height girl with brown hair, so i approach her with her back facing me and kick her in the ass (somehow a joke we had for a long time) and this fucking broad turns around and gives me the dirtiest look ive ever recieved in my life. Obviously not being my sister, i just booked.

HRPoodersmith

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 666
  • Rep: 63
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #138 on: September 08, 2009, 09:49:40 PM »
HORRIBLE innocent child racism:

At my elementary school, 99.9% of all the students were white.  Most of us little white kids never hung out with any black kids before because there WERE none in our town.  Anyway, the schools began implemented the METCO program, bringing in children from the inner city to the suburbs to get a better education.  Fast forward to 5th grade, we have 2 black girls in our class.  One day, this one girl Latesha was giving me shit because she found out I have a crush on another girl.  After she belittled me for a good 5 minutes in front of the class about how I was stupid and that I liked girls, I exploded and yelled STR8 into her dark face "OH YEAH?  WELL AT LEAST I'M WHITE"

Anyways, from the silence that fell over the classroom, I knew that I did a bad thing.  To this day, I am super nice to any black person I meet just to make up for that horrible childhood faux-pas.

frisco

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #139 on: September 08, 2009, 10:01:27 PM »
when i was in highschool i was swinging my backpack to throw it on top of the bleachers because highschool was fucking boring, so picture me turning in circles like im throwing a hammer in those olympic events, I was building up a shit ton of speed, I didnt notice the junior girls volleyball were warming up, i let go of my bag filled with 3 books and it drilled this girl right in the dome flooring her instantly, everyone in the whole gym stopped, about 80 people saw it, and i heard my friend who was up on the bleachers crack up laughing, I just stood there with a pale white face I seriously though she was knocked out cold, turns out she was fine but fuck those 10 seconds were awkward


Beer Keg Peg Leg

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5382
  • Rep: -22
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #140 on: September 08, 2009, 10:18:37 PM »
Jordan's story reminded me of this one. When I was about 12 and my parents seperated my dad had a girlfriend I didn't know about. I was spending a few weeks with him over the summer and he was texting on his phone all the fucking time. One time he forgot his phone while he went to the grocery store and I heard it beep so I picked it up and decided to read all of his text messages. Every single fucking message was dirty talk between him and his fucking gold digger girlfriend who was twenty years younger than him. The only one I remember is one he sent to her that said 'I miss you so much...especially your breasts and pussy'. I was so fucking disgusted, both at the thought of my dad saying something like that, and that someone would ever think that is a sexy thing to say.

Gomez

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4989
  • Rep: -441
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #141 on: September 08, 2009, 10:53:48 PM »
HORRIBLE innocent child racism:

At my elementary school, 99.9% of all the students were white.  Most of us little white kids never hung out with any black kids before because there WERE none in our town.  Anyway, the schools began implemented the METCO program, bringing in children from the inner city to the suburbs to get a better education.  Fast forward to 5th grade, we have 2 black girls in our class.  One day, this one girl Latesha was giving me shit because she found out I have a crush on another girl.  After she belittled me for a good 5 minutes in front of the class about how I was stupid and that I liked girls, I exploded and yelled STR8 into her dark face "OH YEAH?  WELL AT LEAST I'M WHITE"

Anyways, from the silence that fell over the classroom, I knew that I did a bad thing.  To this day, I am super nice to any black person I meet just to make up for that horrible childhood faux-pas.
i feel you on that one.
in the fourth grade, i'd recently seen the part of chris rock's bigger and blacker where he talks about old black men being the most racist people ever. but i saw just the part where he kept saying "cracker ass cracker..." so it was completely out of context. i didn't know that the word was a racial slur, i just thought it was an insult like "stupid" or "moron" and i found it hilarious. i told it to my best friend at the time (still friends now) and he told me after i was done very softly with an offended expression on his face that it was in fact a racial slur. we just stood there for a little while in silence. i felt like an idiot.

papasmurfsdog

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #142 on: September 08, 2009, 11:00:14 PM »
When I was in like fourth grade or something my brother was having a sleepover in my basement. I didn't think much of it until i woke up in the middle of the night whilst peeing on the wall of said basement with about 10 of my brother's friends standing there laughing at me. No idea why, but I'm some sort of sleep pisser.

rfox

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3341
  • Rep: 286
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #143 on: September 09, 2009, 12:14:22 AM »
Neither of these happened directly to me or is really bad they are pretty embarrassing.

In a high school  a girl was talking to our class about how we should be nice to mentally ill people and try to be friends with them when my friend said "Oh yeah?  how many retarded people are you friends with" like she was an idiot.  The class got all quiet and she said "My brother is mentally handicapped"

and

My friend and I were talking to some guy on a mountain bike for some reason when we noticed he only had half of his handlebars on his bike so my friend said "Wow did you break your handlebars?"  and the guy said "I only have one arm" which was true.


beardface

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 540
  • Rep: 34
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #144 on: September 09, 2009, 02:24:13 PM »
No idea why, but I'm some sort of sleep pisser.
after a good night of parties and beer, the next day my dad told me that i walked into his room at around 5 am, whipped out my tool and painted his floor yellow. i really wish i could say this happened in my youth but in all actuality, it was about a month ago. better believe that was an awkward phone call.
She can't complain about it being gross- she's shooting pussy juice at your face.

Mackattack

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #145 on: September 09, 2009, 06:56:43 PM »
when I was around 14 or 15 I went to south Texas to attend a family reunion at my great uncles house. All the extended family on my moms side were there having a good time, eating barbecue and carrying on. About half way into my meal I have to piss so I go into the downstairs bathroom to do my business. After I finished taking a leak a noticed a scale on the floor by the toilet. For some reason I decided that I needed to achieve an erection and then weigh my dick on the scale. Just as I get a boner and get the scale up on the counter my uncle walks in and catches me trying to find the weight of my penis. I could never look him in the eye again.

NostrilsofFury

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #146 on: September 09, 2009, 09:59:05 PM »
For some reason I decided that I needed to achieve an erection and then weigh my dick on the scale. Just as I get a boner and get the scale up on the counter my uncle walks in and catches me trying to find the weight of my penis. I could never look him in the eye again.
Hahahhaha
made me lol
gotta try this shit

camel filters

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1669
  • Rep: 261
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #147 on: September 09, 2009, 10:59:41 PM »
I feel like i can put this into a screenplay im trying to write. if it ever sells, i will get everyone who contributed your royalties.
my first 2 years of college have been impressive. Can you say the same?

variation

  • Guest
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #148 on: September 10, 2009, 11:30:51 AM »
haha!

Anti Krooked

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 329
  • Rep: -75
  • sellout
Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #149 on: September 12, 2009, 03:01:33 PM »
Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)

Man, we can totally eat that pig.  that pig can be in us right now.