Author Topic: Awkward moments from your youth.  (Read 17681 times)

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odp

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #90 on: September 04, 2009, 10:49:56 AM »
guile, you're a funny guy. go get some more stories in singlehood.

Donkey Lips

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #91 on: September 04, 2009, 12:40:15 PM »
and now im single for the first time in my life so i can promise much worse stories to come.
these stories are more heavily anticipated than the last season of LOST.  you go make us proud guile.  i can't wait to hear the poetry that comes from this.

yeah dude!

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #92 on: September 04, 2009, 12:52:06 PM »
Now this is spooky...

A few minutes ago I was sitting in my cubicle at work cracking open the fortune cookie that came with the let down of lunch I just ate.


I read it and think to myself, "If only fortune cookies weren't total bullshit....".

Immediately after putting it down I read Guile's stories. I am 100% definitely buying a lotto ticket with those number. Guile, I'm giving you half when I hit the jackpot.

frisco

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #93 on: September 04, 2009, 12:57:20 PM »

so the night comes and we are all in the tv room upstairs, watching some movie in the dark when the cockblock friend starts jabbering. i have no idea what she is saying because she is a woman, and i dont care. so somehow we walk out of the room so she can show me something in her room. she closes the door and jumps on me. she wasnt ugly but she wasnt super hot so i just let it happen because im 17 and my penis is my only prized possession. so we are making out for a while, with the brightest lights i have ever seen on and she decideds to rip my pants off and start blowing me. the fucking day is mine!

a few minutes go by, just enough for me to close my eyes and start enjoying it when she suddenly stops. i layed there for a few more seconds expecting her to continue but she didnt. i open my eyes and she is sitting on the side of the bed with her back to me and i look over her shoulder. Her massive father is standing in the doorway looking at his topless daughter with her panties around her ankles, with some skrawny pussy laying beside her, with a shiny wet boner. Immediatly i go deer in the headlights and freeze up with the most incredible fear i have ever felt. this man is fucking huge, like a fucking giant, and he is enraged. its dead silent for what seems like an eternity when she mumbles out "daddy..." and her dad says nothing for a couple more seconds. for some fucking reason (to this day i cant figure it out, maybe the stress and pressure just got to me) i burst into the craziest laughter i have ever had. tears in my fucking eyes giggling and saying sorry every breathe i get. he stomps out of the room and she chases after him, so i pull up my pants and run as fast as i can to the tv room to grab my friend and get the fuck out. not only is he ready to go, hes pushing me out the door. we ran for a good block then laughed all the way back to my house. i never spoke to that chick again even though she was in nearly all my classes.

i still feel bad that he never got anything that night because when me and cockblock left the room all the girl he was with did was talk about what me and the other girl were probably doing.

so yea wwe can just end this thread right here

the last story is fucking ridiculous, I started laughing picturing that dad standing there

scootboard

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #94 on: September 04, 2009, 01:16:18 PM »
this isnt an awkward story about me, but keeps in line with all the retarded kid stories. at my elementary school we had the "rsp" class full of the special kids who shared lunch time recess with us. i used to hate the noon- aides at my school (whose only prerequisites were to be obese/ wear tight cotton pants at all times) my least favorite noon- aide, ms almarez, had a daughter that went to my school at the time too. in fifth grade, the elementary school geniuses instituted a "freeze bell" which is basically a bell that goes off at the end of recess meaning you have to "freeze" and wait to be dismissed back to class.

parth was the quiet kid in the special class, who never really made any noises, and put way too many H's into his speech when he did. he was also known for regulating the lunch lines, and weeding out the cutters. but he was a rad dude. one day after recess the freeze bell went off and everybody stopped their lunch time activities and froze. but not parth. from across the whole playing field he took off in a full on sprint towards ms almarez's daughter. everybody was silent, watching him run. at full speed he tackled the daughter to the ground and in a haze of dust/ glory, proceeded to hump her for a good thirty seconds while she screamed for someone to "get this retard off me, get this retard off me." everybody was in awe, remaining still as the 400 something pound noon- aide came running to her daughters rescue. after some struggle, they took a much satisfied parth off the playground while all of fourth and fifth grade cheered.

stabbin

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #95 on: September 04, 2009, 01:17:52 PM »
for some fucking reason (to this day i cant figure it out, maybe the stress and pressure just got to me) i burst into the craziest laughter i have ever had. tears in my fucking eyes giggling and saying sorry every breathe i get.
Fucking amazing

Guile

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #96 on: September 04, 2009, 01:26:51 PM »
i think it was mainly fear that made me laugh. her dad was seriously football playing ufc tribal tattoo large and i was terrified. now that im living back in that city i wonder if shes still around... the couple minutes of good before the titan showed up was pleasent and i could use some of that right now. only this time im doing in the forrest or something, far away from andre the giant.
               DGK
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              TIMES

stabbin

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #97 on: September 04, 2009, 01:31:37 PM »
i think it was mainly fear that made me laugh. her dad was seriously football playing ufc tribal tattoo large and i was terrified. now that im living back in that city i wonder if shes still around... the couple minutes of good before the titan showed up was pleasent and i could use some of that right now. only this time im doing in the forrest or something, far away from andre the giant.
I think she owes you one anyway.

rocklobster

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #98 on: September 04, 2009, 06:59:53 PM »

so the night comes and we are all in the tv room upstairs, watching some movie in the dark when the cockblock friend starts jabbering. i have no idea what she is saying because she is a woman, and i dont care. so somehow we walk out of the room so she can show me something in her room. she closes the door and jumps on me. she wasnt ugly but she wasnt super hot so i just let it happen because im 17 and my penis is my only prized possession. so we are making out for a while, with the brightest lights i have ever seen on and she decideds to rip my pants off and start blowing me. the fucking day is mine!

a few minutes go by, just enough for me to close my eyes and start enjoying it when she suddenly stops. i layed there for a few more seconds expecting her to continue but she didnt. i open my eyes and she is sitting on the side of the bed with her back to me and i look over her shoulder. Her massive father is standing in the doorway looking at his topless daughter with her panties around her ankles, with some skrawny pussy laying beside her, with a shiny wet boner. Immediatly i go deer in the headlights and freeze up with the most incredible fear i have ever felt. this man is fucking huge, like a fucking giant, and he is enraged. its dead silent for what seems like an eternity when she mumbles out "daddy..." and her dad says nothing for a couple more seconds. for some fucking reason (to this day i cant figure it out, maybe the stress and pressure just got to me) i burst into the craziest laughter i have ever had. tears in my fucking eyes giggling and saying sorry every breathe i get. he stomps out of the room and she chases after him, so i pull up my pants and run as fast as i can to the tv room to grab my friend and get the fuck out. not only is he ready to go, hes pushing me out the door. we ran for a good block then laughed all the way back to my house. i never spoke to that chick again even though she was in nearly all my classes.

i still feel bad that he never got anything that night because when me and cockblock left the room all the girl he was with did was talk about what me and the other girl were probably doing.

so yea wwe can just end this thread right here

the last story is fucking ridiculous, I started laughing picturing that dad standing there

beat me to it....

one time on my walk home from elementary school, I stumbled apon one of those shitty ass porn video brochures that were about the size and thickness of romance novels, and it's full of nothing but thumbnail-sized photos of chicks with their tits out and phone numbers to order the videos from. anyway, I took it home with intent to wank, but knew it would be too risky to take it inside, so instead I took it deep down into the gultch behind my house, beat off in the woods, and then hid it inside a hole in the side of a dead tree

I returned to this spot and jacked off to it every day for like two weeks, and then one day I went down there to get my stroke on, and it had mysteriously vanished forever.

I imagine some other dude that lived near us probably witnessed this spectical and decided he didn't want to see me jack off from his back yard anymore and threw it away. Either that or he himself wanted to jack off to it and stole it from me.

LOL

eric logans story had me laughing out loud, reminded me of a thread a few weeks back about a mysterious porn stash in the woods....

Goblinshark

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #99 on: September 04, 2009, 09:27:32 PM »

so the night comes and we are all in the tv room upstairs, watching some movie in the dark when the cockblock friend starts jabbering. i have no idea what she is saying because she is a woman, and i dont care. so somehow we walk out of the room so she can show me something in her room. she closes the door and jumps on me. she wasnt ugly but she wasnt super hot so i just let it happen because im 17 and my penis is my only prized possession. so we are making out for a while, with the brightest lights i have ever seen on and she decideds to rip my pants off and start blowing me. the fucking day is mine!

a few minutes go by, just enough for me to close my eyes and start enjoying it when she suddenly stops. i layed there for a few more seconds expecting her to continue but she didnt. i open my eyes and she is sitting on the side of the bed with her back to me and i look over her shoulder. Her massive father is standing in the doorway looking at his topless daughter with her panties around her ankles, with some skrawny pussy laying beside her, with a shiny wet boner. Immediatly i go deer in the headlights and freeze up with the most incredible fear i have ever felt. this man is fucking huge, like a fucking giant, and he is enraged. its dead silent for what seems like an eternity when she mumbles out "daddy..." and her dad says nothing for a couple more seconds. for some fucking reason (to this day i cant figure it out, maybe the stress and pressure just got to me) i burst into the craziest laughter i have ever had. tears in my fucking eyes giggling and saying sorry every breathe i get. he stomps out of the room and she chases after him, so i pull up my pants and run as fast as i can to the tv room to grab my friend and get the fuck out. not only is he ready to go, hes pushing me out the door. we ran for a good block then laughed all the way back to my house. i never spoke to that chick again even though she was in nearly all my classes.

i still feel bad that he never got anything that night because when me and cockblock left the room all the girl he was with did was talk about what me and the other girl were probably doing.

so yea wwe can just end this thread right here

the last story is fucking ridiculous, I started laughing picturing that dad standing there

I keep picturing the giant muscular emotional dad from Ren and Stimpy
Stephen Alcala: chris cole anit a loser
Stephen Alcala: frank grewer is an alcholic
Stephen Alcala: LOSER

frisco

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #100 on: September 04, 2009, 09:41:03 PM »
this isnt an awkward story about me, but keeps in line with all the retarded kid stories. at my elementary school we had the "rsp" class full of the special kids who shared lunch time recess with us. i used to hate the noon- aides at my school (whose only prerequisites were to be obese/ wear tight cotton pants at all times) my least favorite noon- aide, ms almarez, had a daughter that went to my school at the time too. in fifth grade, the elementary school geniuses instituted a "freeze bell" which is basically a bell that goes off at the end of recess meaning you have to "freeze" and wait to be dismissed back to class.

parth was the quiet kid in the special class, who never really made any noises, and put way too many H's into his speech when he did. he was also known for regulating the lunch lines, and weeding out the cutters. but he was a rad dude. one day after recess the freeze bell went off and everybody stopped their lunch time activities and froze. but not parth. from across the whole playing field he took off in a full on sprint towards ms almarez's daughter. everybody was silent, watching him run. at full speed he tackled the daughter to the ground and in a haze of dust/ glory, proceeded to hump her for a good thirty seconds while she screamed for someone to "get this retard off me, get this retard off me." everybody was in awe, remaining still as the 400 something pound noon- aide came running to her daughters rescue. after some struggle, they took a much satisfied parth off the playground while all of fourth and fifth grade cheered.

holy fuck I was losing it at this part, similar shit had gone down at my schools, one special needs guy "stomped" to the principals office pushing his bottom lip out and ripped open the glass door smashing it into hundreds of pieces, everyone froze and no one said anything, severely awkward

camel filters

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #101 on: September 04, 2009, 09:52:01 PM »
this isnt an awkward story about me, but keeps in line with all the retarded kid stories. at my elementary school we had the "rsp" class full of the special kids who shared lunch time recess with us. i used to hate the noon- aides at my school (whose only prerequisites were to be obese/ wear tight cotton pants at all times) my least favorite noon- aide, ms almarez, had a daughter that went to my school at the time too. in fifth grade, the elementary school geniuses instituted a "freeze bell" which is basically a bell that goes off at the end of recess meaning you have to "freeze" and wait to be dismissed back to class.

parth was the quiet kid in the special class, who never really made any noises, and put way too many H's into his speech when he did. he was also known for regulating the lunch lines, and weeding out the cutters. but he was a rad dude. one day after recess the freeze bell went off and everybody stopped their lunch time activities and froze. but not parth. from across the whole playing field he took off in a full on sprint towards ms almarez's daughter. everybody was silent, watching him run. at full speed he tackled the daughter to the ground and in a haze of dust/ glory, proceeded to hump her for a good thirty seconds while she screamed for someone to "get this retard off me, get this retard off me." everybody was in awe, remaining still as the 400 something pound noon- aide came running to her daughters rescue. after some struggle, they took a much satisfied parth off the playground while all of fourth and fifth grade cheered.

holy fuck I was losing it at this part, similar shit had gone down at my schools, one special needs guy "stomped" to the principals office pushing his bottom lip out and ripped open the glass door smashing it into hundreds of pieces, everyone froze and no one said anything, severely awkward
In high school after english class one time i was the first to step out of the door after class and the first thing i see is a huge pile of wet turd chilling of the floor two feet away from the door. I yelled "SOMEONE SHIT ON THE FLOOR!!!!!!!" Everyone from my class and the surrounding classes ran out to take a look-see.  Pretty everyone lost it in laughter even a couple teachers. only then did i notice the specail kid in the corner with a helmet crying his eyes out. i felt like the piece of turd on the floor after that one.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #102 on: September 04, 2009, 09:59:16 PM »
If it makes you feel any better, I doubt it would have gone unnoticed much longer without you saying anything.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #103 on: September 04, 2009, 11:05:10 PM »
ok so the first one: It was my first serious girlfriend and I, being one of the only 3 skaterbois in our town, ended up getting one of the hotter girls at school. so about 3 or so weeks into it we are at her place watching some shit disney cartoon and i decide to make some moves. Now for the past 3 weeks all my friends were doing the little teen shit where they ask you about everything possible and talk about pussy and tits non-stop so i had some pretty fucked up expectations. I had already gotten some breast work in and i was ready for some sweet sweeti clam. i start sliding my hand down her pants and i feel the 80's afro and i know im near the gold mine, so i keep going. at this point ive realized this is more hair than i could ever wish to have on my head and im getting kind of grossed out but i need to touch it, i need to feel the sweet soft spot i had seen in hustler and club so many times.

so i finally get to it, and its soaking wet. i feel like im going to start crying im so excited. and naturally at that age i have no idea what im doing so i diddle around a bunch like Michael J Fox with finger paints. i did this for probably half an hour when suddenly her parents call us upstairs for dinner. as we start going up the stairs, her infront of me, i decide to give my fingers a quick and subtle sniff. its the finest scent i had ever had. everything i imagined it would be, and more. there was nothing like it and i couldnt believe how good and powerful it was. i was dreaming of this for so many years..... then i snap out of it and realize not only have i stopped mid way up the stairs, but she is staring right at me, along with her mom and dad at the top of the stairs. i thought fast and pretended to be scratching my upper lip but not a word was said during dinner and we didnt talk again until about a year ago when she moved to my city for school.


the second one: so it was a couple years after the first one and me and my new girlfriend had been playing the "lets do it everywhere we can get caught" game. we had never got caught and we were pretty stoked on how hard we were killing it. now this girl was a freak, a pervert. i was still at the beginning of my little sexual life and i had experienced things that would make Hughe Hefners balls drop. we used to always watch movies in her room but with the sound off and go at it over and over again for hours. we werent even kissing, just teens4cash style super fucking like we had been bucking lines of powdered redbull cut with meth.

so one night we are going at it and decided to play the anal boink game. we are plowing away on the floor, with nothing covering us because we are idiots, when i hear feet land at the top of the stairs beside the door. quickily thinking i pull the blanket off the bed beside us and huck it over us with one arm, her mom comes in and sees us laying on the floor watching conair with the sound off, i have no shirt on and shes in just a bra. she is panting away and says between breathes "its so fucking hot in here mom, check the heater downstairs". so her and her mom get into this arguement about the heat while im STILL currently balls deep in her asshole, trying my hardest not to start crying and shit myself on the floor beside her naked daughter. eventually she left and i pulled out and went home and re-thought my life. i just moved a block away from her so life is about to get interesting.

and the last one (Pretty much all my awkward moments have been sexual because i have terrible luck and never think out what im doing):

My friend is trying to hump this girl at school but she isnt giving it up, so finally they plan a movie night and she is bringing her cockblock friend. so he tells me to come along and keep her busy while he plays doctor in the other room. i agree because i know something awesome will come of it. I may be a shit person but sometimes im a good friend. sometimes....

so the night comes and we are all in the tv room upstairs, watching some movie in the dark when the cockblock friend starts jabbering. i have no idea what she is saying because she is a woman, and i dont care. so somehow we walk out of the room so she can show me something in her room. she closes the door and jumps on me. she wasnt ugly but she wasnt super hot so i just let it happen because im 17 and my penis is my only prized possession. so we are making out for a while, with the brightest lights i have ever seen on and she decideds to rip my pants off and start blowing me. the fucking day is mine!

a few minutes go by, just enough for me to close my eyes and start enjoying it when she suddenly stops. i layed there for a few more seconds expecting her to continue but she didnt. i open my eyes and she is sitting on the side of the bed with her back to me and i look over her shoulder. Her massive father is standing in the doorway looking at his topless daughter with her panties around her ankles, with some skrawny pussy laying beside her, with a shiny wet boner. Immediatly i go deer in the headlights and freeze up with the most incredible fear i have ever felt. this man is fucking huge, like a fucking giant, and he is enraged. its dead silent for what seems like an eternity when she mumbles out "daddy..." and her dad says nothing for a couple more seconds. for some fucking reason (to this day i cant figure it out, maybe the stress and pressure just got to me) i burst into the craziest laughter i have ever had. tears in my fucking eyes giggling and saying sorry every breathe i get. he stomps out of the room and she chases after him, so i pull up my pants and run as fast as i can to the tv room to grab my friend and get the fuck out. not only is he ready to go, hes pushing me out the door. we ran for a good block then laughed all the way back to my house. i never spoke to that chick again even though she was in nearly all my classes.

i still feel bad that he never got anything that night because when me and cockblock left the room all the girl he was with did was talk about what me and the other girl were probably doing.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #104 on: September 05, 2009, 12:35:26 AM »
ok so the first one: It was my first serious girlfriend and I, being one of the only 3 skaterbois in our town, ended up getting one of the hotter girls at school. so about 3 or so weeks into it we are at her place watching some shit disney cartoon and i decide to make some moves. Now for the past 3 weeks all my friends were doing the little teen shit where they ask you about everything possible and talk about pussy and tits non-stop so i had some pretty fucked up expectations. I had already gotten some breast work in and i was ready for some sweet sweeti clam. i start sliding my hand down her pants and i feel the 80's afro and i know im near the gold mine, so i keep going. at this point ive realized this is more hair than i could ever wish to have on my head and im getting kind of grossed out but i need to touch it, i need to feel the sweet soft spot i had seen in hustler and club so many times.

so i finally get to it, and its soaking wet. i feel like im going to start crying im so excited. and naturally at that age i have no idea what im doing so i diddle around a bunch like Michael J Fox with finger paints. i did this for probably half an hour when suddenly her parents call us upstairs for dinner. as we start going up the stairs, her infront of me, i decide to give my fingers a quick and subtle sniff. its the finest scent i had ever had. everything i imagined it would be, and more. there was nothing like it and i couldnt believe how good and powerful it was. i was dreaming of this for so many years..... then i snap out of it and realize not only have i stopped mid way up the stairs, but she is staring right at me, along with her mom and dad at the top of the stairs. i thought fast and pretended to be scratching my upper lip but not a word was said during dinner and we didnt talk again until about a year ago when she moved to my city for school.


the second one: so it was a couple years after the first one and me and my new girlfriend had been playing the "lets do it everywhere we can get caught" game. we had never got caught and we were pretty stoked on how hard we were killing it. now this girl was a freak, a pervert. i was still at the beginning of my little sexual life and i had experienced things that would make Hughe Hefners balls drop. we used to always watch movies in her room but with the sound off and go at it over and over again for hours. we werent even kissing, just teens4cash style super fucking like we had been bucking lines of powdered redbull cut with meth.

so one night we are going at it and decided to play the anal boink game. we are plowing away on the floor, with nothing covering us because we are idiots, when i hear feet land at the top of the stairs beside the door. quickily thinking i pull the blanket off the bed beside us and huck it over us with one arm, her mom comes in and sees us laying on the floor watching conair with the sound off, i have no shirt on and shes in just a bra. she is panting away and says between breathes "its so fucking hot in here mom, check the heater downstairs". so her and her mom get into this arguement about the heat while im STILL currently balls deep in her asshole, trying my hardest not to start crying and shit myself on the floor beside her naked daughter. eventually she left and i pulled out and went home and re-thought my life. i just moved a block away from her so life is about to get interesting.

and the last one (Pretty much all my awkward moments have been sexual because i have terrible luck and never think out what im doing):

My friend is trying to hump this girl at school but she isnt giving it up, so finally they plan a movie night and she is bringing her cockblock friend. so he tells me to come along and keep her busy while he plays doctor in the other room. i agree because i know something awesome will come of it. I may be a shit person but sometimes im a good friend. sometimes....

so the night comes and we are all in the tv room upstairs, watching some movie in the dark when the cockblock friend starts jabbering. i have no idea what she is saying because she is a woman, and i dont care. so somehow we walk out of the room so she can show me something in her room. she closes the door and jumps on me. she wasnt ugly but she wasnt super hot so i just let it happen because im 17 and my penis is my only prized possession. so we are making out for a while, with the brightest lights i have ever seen on and she decideds to rip my pants off and start blowing me. the fucking day is mine!

a few minutes go by, just enough for me to close my eyes and start enjoying it when she suddenly stops. i layed there for a few more seconds expecting her to continue but she didnt. i open my eyes and she is sitting on the side of the bed with her back to me and i look over her shoulder. Her massive father is standing in the doorway looking at his topless daughter with her panties around her ankles, with some skrawny pussy laying beside her, with a shiny wet boner. Immediatly i go deer in the headlights and freeze up with the most incredible fear i have ever felt. this man is fucking huge, like a fucking giant, and he is enraged. its dead silent for what seems like an eternity when she mumbles out "daddy..." and her dad says nothing for a couple more seconds. for some fucking reason (to this day i cant figure it out, maybe the stress and pressure just got to me) i burst into the craziest laughter i have ever had. tears in my fucking eyes giggling and saying sorry every breathe i get. he stomps out of the room and she chases after him, so i pull up my pants and run as fast as i can to the tv room to grab my friend and get the fuck out. not only is he ready to go, hes pushing me out the door. we ran for a good block then laughed all the way back to my house. i never spoke to that chick again even though she was in nearly all my classes.

i still feel bad that he never got anything that night because when me and cockblock left the room all the girl he was with did was talk about what me and the other girl were probably doing.
You are a wonderful man.
ahahahahahahahaha, those are amazing
.

Gnarbys

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #105 on: September 05, 2009, 03:22:06 PM »
My parents used to send me to Church Camp every summer. I actually looked forward to it seeing how I lived in a small hick ass town. So there I was at church camp having a good old spirtual time. We were only at camp for 5 days I believe, not too much time for LOVE! See, the deal was go to camp and meet all the other churches from around the state. We would sing, pray, eat bad food, and search the woods for a "soul mate". After day one all rules were forgotten. Every man for himself, war like mentality took over the camp. I had my sights on this one gal who seemed to talk a little too much. Little did I know a thick mamma from Las Vegas had her sights on me.
Her name was Lynette and see was "shapely" to say the least. I did my best to tell her we were friends and my interests were else where. She wasn't having that at all! Church camp can be very draining at times. The night before the last day, everyone is crying and emotional because we were all 16 years old. It seemed like the world was going to end if you met the right girl/guy. So we are singing by the fire and all hell is breaking loose around me. My choice was very innocent and really liked holding hands and such. So yeah, I was over it.
Now here is where things got interesting. I saw Lynette and gave her the traditional goodbye hug. I went to release from hugging mode and she did not let go. Out of the fucking blue she tells me, " I'm so glad we're together." WHAT! Together? How the hell did this happen? She still has me in hug posistion and I'm shook! I thought what would David Lee Roth do? He would probably fuck her and three of her friends all night in a suite! I couldn't pull that off at 16! I don't know how but I broke down and started kissing her, alot. The night was coming to a close and what the fuck right? Plans were made and ideas were exchanged. That night we sneak out of our dorms!
Now I had not really had too much experience with girls besides making out and a little leg rubbing. This girl Lynette was gnarly opposed to typical church camp girls! Holly shit we started kissing and she put my hand on her boobies! WOOOOO HOOOO! At that point there was no turning back. I actually touched her private parts and was freaked out, in a good way. Then the scariest thing happend, her hand started drifting up my leg towards my promised land! I was very scared due to the late bloomer syndrome. Then she hit the intended target and Yea Haw it was cool! Then Lynette from Las Vegas told me three words that changed my life! What she said was pure 80's poetry. It was like Hiroshima man, it changed everything! To make a long story short, she wanted to fuck in the back of the cooks truck. I declined, because I was scared shitless that God was going to strike me down with lighting, and she was bummed.
I ran back to my dorm and bragged about everything that just happend as young men often do. The next day all the different groups met at this pizza place and Lynette kept playing with my pistol under the table. She wanted to sneak outside and fuck in their church van. I felt really uncomfortable and couldn't get up for food because she made my dick hard. It was pretty humiliating now that I think about it. She wrote me a letter a dedicating the song "Farewell my Summer Love" by Michael Jackson. Fucking whore! Trying to get sex in God's camp! All in all it was rad because she told me I had a big cock. I took a girls virginity two years before and she told all of her friends it didn't hurt, at all. I was a late bloomer and my wee wee was quite small and good ole church girl put some swagger babck in my step.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #106 on: September 05, 2009, 05:16:03 PM »

Now I had not really had too much experience with girls besides making out and a little leg rubbing...
...I took a girls virginity two years before and she told all of her friends it didn't hurt, at all.
huh?
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Gnarbys

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #107 on: September 05, 2009, 05:46:13 PM »
Yeah, dude. When I lost my virginity, it was the worst experience. Walk into my room, my girl is naked under blankets. I think I kissed her once, never even touched her boobs or vage. I basically reached down and put it in her, moved around a little, blasted inside her, and that was that. I never jerked off before so I didn't know what it was like to ejaculate. So no foreplay at all, I blasted inside her, and her friend asked me if I came inside her. I barely knew what she meant, so I said "of course I did" and she looked at me like I was retarded. My cousin told me more than likely my girlfriend was pregnant. She was not, and told everyone it did not hurt when I took her virginity. All her other friends made it sound like they were ripped in half when they lost theirs. I was 14, did not know shit about foreplay, thought I got this girl pregnant, then found out I had a small dick. Good times.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #108 on: September 05, 2009, 07:22:38 PM »
My parents used to send me to Church Camp every summer. I actually looked forward to it seeing how I lived in a small hick ass town. So there I was at church camp having a good old spirtual time. We were only at camp for 5 days I believe, not too much time for LOVE! See, the deal was go to camp and meet all the other churches from around the state. We would sing, pray, eat bad food, and search the woods for a "soul mate". After day one all rules were forgotten. Every man for himself, war like mentality took over the camp. I had my sights on this one gal who seemed to talk a little too much. Little did I know a thick mamma from Las Vegas had her sights on me.
Her name was Lynette and see was "shapely" to say the least. I did my best to tell her we were friends and my interests were else where. She wasn't having that at all! Church camp can be very draining at times. The night before the last day, everyone is crying and emotional because we were all 16 years old. It seemed like the world was going to end if you met the right girl/guy. So we are singing by the fire and all hell is breaking loose around me. My choice was very innocent and really liked holding hands and such. So yeah, I was over it.
Now here is where things got interesting. I saw Lynette and gave her the traditional goodbye hug. I went to release from hugging mode and she did not let go. Out of the fucking blue she tells me, " I'm so glad we're together." WHAT! Together? How the hell did this happen? She still has me in hug posistion and I'm shook! I thought what would David Lee Roth do? He would probably fuck her and three of her friends all night in a suite! I couldn't pull that off at 16! I don't know how but I broke down and started kissing her, alot. The night was coming to a close and what the fuck right? Plans were made and ideas were exchanged. That night we sneak out of our dorms!
Now I had not really had too much experience with girls besides making out and a little leg rubbing. This girl Lynette was gnarly opposed to typical church camp girls! Holly shit we started kissing and she put my hand on her boobies! WOOOOO HOOOO! At that point there was no turning back. I actually touched her private parts and was freaked out, in a good way. Then the scariest thing happend, her hand started drifting up my leg towards my promised land! I was very scared due to the late bloomer syndrome. Then she hit the intended target and Yea Haw it was cool! Then Lynette from Las Vegas told me three words that changed my life! What she said was pure 80's poetry. It was like Hiroshima man, it changed everything! To make a long story short, she wanted to fuck in the back of the cooks truck. I declined, because I was scared shitless that God was going to strike me down with lighting, and she was bummed.
I ran back to my dorm and bragged about everything that just happend as young men often do. The next day all the different groups met at this pizza place and Lynette kept playing with my pistol under the table. She wanted to sneak outside and fuck in their church van. I felt really uncomfortable and couldn't get up for food because she made my dick hard. It was pretty humiliating now that I think about it. She wrote me a letter a dedicating the song "Farewell my Summer Love" by Michael Jackson. Fucking whore! Trying to get sex in God's camp! All in all it was rad because she told me I had a big cock. I took a girls virginity two years before and she told all of her friends it didn't hurt, at all. I was a late bloomer and my wee wee was quite small and good ole church girl put some swagger babck in my step.



wow you just wrote an 80s teen comedy

Man, we can totally eat that pig.  that pig can be in us right now.

ice nine

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #109 on: September 05, 2009, 07:35:26 PM »
gnarbys is fucking terrible, do you really think you are a good writer? nice sig too.


im going out with my best friends ex, and he is still in love with her. we hid our relationship for over a year and he found out last week, hates us forever etc, its awkward
I;m sure i;m not the only dc/monster/subaru type guy here

Beer Keg Peg Leg

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #110 on: September 05, 2009, 07:46:23 PM »
gnarbys is fucking terrible, do you really think you are a good writer? nice sig too.


im going out with my best friends ex, and he is still in love with her. we hid our relationship for over a year and he found out last week, hates us forever etc, its awkward

So he should you fucking jackass.

VeganShawn

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #111 on: September 05, 2009, 08:05:31 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #112 on: September 05, 2009, 08:25:47 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.


Idunno, Guile hit it pretty head on. I think a girl's mom walking in on you fucking her daughter in the ass, and getting into an argument with her while you still are inside of her is pretty awkward.
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VeganShawn

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #113 on: September 05, 2009, 08:35:47 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.


Idunno, Guile hit it pretty head on. I think a girl's mom walking in on you fucking her daughter in the ass, and getting into an argument with her while you still are inside of her is pretty awkward.

it's kind of awkward but just mostly funny

east is in the house

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #114 on: September 05, 2009, 08:38:42 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.


alright mizzark, you want something awkward?

I must have been 9 or 10 years old, and my next door neighbor was one of the only openly gay guys I had ever met. He's also this crazy rakki healer/yoga instructor and takes off to mexico every winter for a few weeks to teach special classes down there.

so, before he left he hired me to water all these plants in his house. I go over there with my friend and he has a list of where the plants are, some in every room. We go up to his bedroom to water the plants, and while I'm watering them my idiot friend starts rummaging through this guy's drawers and shit. I'm not really paying attention to what he's doing, but he says 'WOW! COME OVER HERE AND CHECK OUT WHAT I JUST FOUND!'. I turn around and walk over, say 'Wha-' and before I get done my friend turns around and shoves this HUGE black dildo in my mouth. fucking despicable.

I don't remember what happened right after that but I do remember going back up there several years later with another friend to check for those dildos. I came across maybe four or five of them; two were black, not like african-american black but straight black, and the others were white like caucasian. These dildos were massive, I have no idea where the guy got them but they had to be atleast five inches in diameter and a good 1.5 feet long with huge 'veins' coming out of them. needless to say its pretty damn awkward/obnoxious to have someone jam a huge black dildo into your mouth at age nine, or any age for that matter.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #115 on: September 05, 2009, 08:41:37 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.


Idunno, Guile hit it pretty head on. I think a girl's mom walking in on you fucking her daughter in the ass, and getting into an argument with her while you still are inside of her is pretty awkward.

it's kind of awkward but just mostly funny
Can't it be both? I can't think of any other emotion I would feel in that situation. Especially with the girl saying its hot in there while under the coveres with you on top of her.
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VeganShawn

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #116 on: September 05, 2009, 08:42:34 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.


alright mizzark, you want something awkward?

I must have been 9 or 10 years old, and my next door neighbor was one of the only openly gay guys I had ever met. He's also this crazy rakki healer/yoga instructor and takes off to mexico every winter for a few weeks to teach special classes down there.

so, before he left he hired me to water all these plants in his house. I go over there with my friend and he has a list of where the plants are, some in every room. We go up to his bedroom to water the plants, and while I'm watering them my idiot friend starts rummaging through this guy's drawers and shit. I'm not really paying attention to what he's doing, but he says 'WOW! COME OVER HERE AND CHECK OUT WHAT I JUST FOUND!'. I turn around and walk over, say 'Wha-' and before I get done my friend turns around and shoves this HUGE black dildo in my mouth. fucking despicable.

I don't remember what happened right after that but I do remember going back up there several years later with another friend to check for those dildos. I came across maybe four or five of them; two were black, not like african-american black but straight black, and the others were white like caucasian. These dildos were massive, I have no idea where the guy got them but they had to be atleast five inches in diameter and a good 1.5 feet long with huge 'veins' coming out of them. needless to say its pretty damn awkward/obnoxious to have someone jam a huge black dildo into your mouth at age nine, or any age for that matter.

thats disgusting not awkward

east is in the house

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #117 on: September 05, 2009, 08:56:57 PM »
these threads are kind of funny but never turn out great because people always post funny or cool stories, rather than truly awkward shit.


alright mizzark, you want something awkward?

I must have been 9 or 10 years old, and my next door neighbor was one of the only openly gay guys I had ever met. He's also this crazy rakki healer/yoga instructor and takes off to mexico every winter for a few weeks to teach special classes down there.

so, before he left he hired me to water all these plants in his house. I go over there with my friend and he has a list of where the plants are, some in every room. We go up to his bedroom to water the plants, and while I'm watering them my idiot friend starts rummaging through this guy's drawers and shit. I'm not really paying attention to what he's doing, but he says 'WOW! COME OVER HERE AND CHECK OUT WHAT I JUST FOUND!'. I turn around and walk over, say 'Wha-' and before I get done my friend turns around and shoves this HUGE black dildo in my mouth. fucking despicable.

I don't remember what happened right after that but I do remember going back up there several years later with another friend to check for those dildos. I came across maybe four or five of them; two were black, not like african-american black but straight black, and the others were white like caucasian. These dildos were massive, I have no idea where the guy got them but they had to be atleast five inches in diameter and a good 1.5 feet long with huge 'veins' coming out of them. needless to say its pretty damn awkward/obnoxious to have someone jam a huge black dildo into your mouth at age nine, or any age for that matter.

thats disgusting not awkward

I've got a few more, my mom used to sleep on our couch and before she went to bed I jerked off and left it on the couch. probably ten minutes later she goes to bed and starts screaming, flipping out on me and calling me a disgusting rat bastard. Wish I could think of a few more, does taking a huge load of copenhagen long cut straight chewing tobbacco to the mouth before hopping on the school bus, only to puke all over the back of the bus and having the bus driver pull over and clean it up with kitty litter qualify?

oh I just thought of another real disgusting/awkward one. when I was in my early teens all my friends and I were obsessed with 'shit capades' or 'poop capades' which went much, much further than the poop dollar from cky. some of the best were taking huge shit logs and stuffing them under car door handles...my friend's step-dad took us to cleavland to skate, and he was some crazy soccer player or whatever in college and one day on the trip we had to go to his alma marta for some soccer game. we were skating around the campus, and I got the urge to shit real bad. I shat, and immediately we started looking for the nicest car in the lot. I'm from a pretty small town, and there must have been a good 300 cars in the lot so we were pretty stoked. we found the most expensive car we could, and I jammed the shit log underneather the door handle. It fit perfectly.
We totally got our kicks, then went back to his step-dads' mom's house for dinner. He had mentioned something about his best friend from college coming over for dinner on the ride back..didn't really phase me. So this guy pulls up, runs inside and heads to the bathroom where he is for ten or fifteen minutes washing his hands profusely. He comes out and said to the dude's dad 'someone put poop under the door handle of my car, can you fucking believe that??'

we were pretty stunned..it was real awkward. now that I'm thinking about it, the same step-dad had to deal with a shit capade a year later when I upper decked his toilet at home and it flooded their entire bathroom with shitty water. I wonder if he ever made the connection between that and the shit capade in cleveland...never though of that before!

Nic

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #118 on: September 05, 2009, 09:44:32 PM »
when I was 8 I had a nudist neighbor who didn't like to close the curtains. One day I was looking out the window and he walks up to his window with a hard on and we make eye contact. He was told to close the curtains after that.

VeganShawn

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #119 on: September 05, 2009, 09:45:41 PM »
lol getting "kooked" because people don't agree with my opinion. rep is for pussies.

I do think Guile's second story is somewhat awkward, but way more so for the girl.
I think the best stories are the really shameful embarrassing ones, that aren't always particularly fun to tell.