Author Topic: Awkward moments from your youth.  (Read 30046 times)

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Gomez

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #120 on: September 06, 2009, 12:37:04 PM »
i was at a wedding for someone who i still have no idea how i'm related to, and then some other relative who i'd never met before comes up to me, introducing himself. he puts out his hand and i look down and realize he's missing half a finger. involuntarily i step back and mumble a disgusted sound, then quickly shake his hand and walk away in shame. i still feel terrible about that.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #121 on: September 06, 2009, 02:44:01 PM »
One time I was over my aunt's house and I was playing hide and seek with my cousins. I was in the closet for what seemed like hours. I was assuming they forgot about me so I just started to look through all the clothes and stuff. Right there, my uncle's porn stash. This was too much for my little virgin eyes so I just left. Later on I found out they were still looking for me, and when they went into the closet and found the porn, they assumed I was in there rubbing one out because I was missing for so long.


My friend invited me over to his house. I'm just there sitting on the couch while he's in the kitchen getting snacks and shit. His mom walked down the stairs topless. She yelled and ran back upstairs. She thought we were going to my house, so she assumed she would be home alone.

I was dropping off my friend's resume at a local elementary school. I'm waiting, and start to overhear the conversation with the guy ahead of me. He got called in because his kid did something bad. So I'm just sitting there, and the lady explains to him how his son had a digital camera and went into the bathroom with his buddies. They all took pictures of each others dicks. Dad is speechless and starts to turn around. He looked at me and could tell I heard everything.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #122 on: September 06, 2009, 04:56:25 PM »
when i was like 10 I was staying at a freinds house for the night and I wanted to ask his mom something, so i opened the door to her bedroom and she was ass naked staring at me in complete shock.

I slowly closed the door and went back into my friend's room and played with his tech decks
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #123 on: September 06, 2009, 11:55:05 PM »
i was at a wedding for someone who i still have no idea how i'm related to, and then some other relative who i'd never met before comes up to me, introducing himself. he puts out his hand and i look down and realize he's missing half a finger. involuntarily i step back and mumble a disgusted sound, then quickly shake his hand and walk away in shame. i still feel terrible about that.

FUCK this pretty much happened to me on friday night. I bummed this guy a cig and he goes out to shake my hand and i can tell hes missin some digits when he grasps my hand. I had to look.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #124 on: September 07, 2009, 07:57:26 AM »
Expand Quote
i was at a wedding for someone who i still have no idea how i'm related to, and then some other relative who i'd never met before comes up to me, introducing himself. he puts out his hand and i look down and realize he's missing half a finger. involuntarily i step back and mumble a disgusted sound, then quickly shake his hand and walk away in shame. i still feel terrible about that.
[close]

FUCK this pretty much happened to me

popeyesfriedchicken

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #125 on: September 07, 2009, 09:29:51 PM »

My friend invited me over to his house. I'm just there sitting on the couch while he's in the kitchen getting snacks and shit. His mom walked down the stairs topless. She yelled and ran back upstairs. She thought we were going to my house, so she assumed she would be home alone.

I was dropping off my friend's resume at a local elementary school. I'm waiting, and start to overhear the conversation with the guy ahead of me. He got called in because his kid did something bad. So I'm just sitting there, and the lady explains to him how his son had a digital camera and went into the bathroom with his buddies. They all took pictures of each others dicks. Dad is speechless and starts to turn around. He looked at me and could tell I heard everything.

these two probably win the thread

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #126 on: September 07, 2009, 09:46:57 PM »
Like 9 or 10 years ago, I was on my old family computer and found my dad's stash of porno. not just any porno. fat pregnant chicks getting fucked and having their nipples drained of milk. it was fucking revolting for a kid my age to see that type of shit, let alone know my dad jerked off to it. I also found out he had an adultfriendfinder.com account, which I guess is for hooking up with women in your city. I didn't want to tell my mom or anything, so I just kept it to myself. I think it kinda fucked me up inside, knowing my dad most likely cheated on my mom. I think one day when he made me really mad, I decided to delete all of his porno. the next few days resulted in very awkward situations whenever I saw him.

I feel like this one wins. I feel kind of uneasy even commenting on it.
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ahl33

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #127 on: September 08, 2009, 12:27:37 PM »
i remember shitting in my pants in pre-school.  i didn't go to the bathroom or anything, i just let it sit in my pants the entire day.  kids kept complaining about some smell so the teacher let us go outside for a bit.  some kid was pushing me on the swings and his hand kept mushing the shit all over my ass...
« Last Edit: September 08, 2009, 12:29:25 PM by ahl33 »

bosnianslut

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #128 on: September 08, 2009, 01:35:31 PM »
When I was about 9 some guy in my class shat on the toilet floor. I walked in and saw him pulling his pants up, that was awkward. What sucks even more is that the fat bastard ran back into the class and blamed me for it.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #129 on: September 08, 2009, 06:13:38 PM »
sophmore year of highschool was trying to lay the mac down on this bitch and we'd been flirting for like a few weeks. So, I see this girl in the hall with same hair cut and backpack and simillary dressed so I got and smack her ass, but it wasn't the girl I thought it was.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #130 on: September 08, 2009, 09:17:19 PM »


yeahbro

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #131 on: September 08, 2009, 09:23:09 PM »
I got a similar one to that. When i was about 9 or 10 my sister did a traveling orchestral thing across europe and i was at one of the concerts in european country x. When the concert is done i go in the back to find her - now keep in mind its an organized classical concert so everyone is wearing identical concert outfits. I'm looking around for my sister and i finally spot who i believe to be her - a medium height girl with brown hair, so i approach her with her back facing me and kick her in the ass (somehow a joke we had for a long time) and this fucking broad turns around and gives me the dirtiest look ive ever recieved in my life. Obviously not being my sister, i just booked.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #132 on: September 08, 2009, 09:49:40 PM »
HORRIBLE innocent child racism:

At my elementary school, 99.9% of all the students were white.  Most of us little white kids never hung out with any black kids before because there WERE none in our town.  Anyway, the schools began implemented the METCO program, bringing in children from the inner city to the suburbs to get a better education.  Fast forward to 5th grade, we have 2 black girls in our class.  One day, this one girl Latesha was giving me shit because she found out I have a crush on another girl.  After she belittled me for a good 5 minutes in front of the class about how I was stupid and that I liked girls, I exploded and yelled STR8 into her dark face "OH YEAH?  WELL AT LEAST I'M WHITE"

Anyways, from the silence that fell over the classroom, I knew that I did a bad thing.  To this day, I am super nice to any black person I meet just to make up for that horrible childhood faux-pas.

frisco

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #133 on: September 08, 2009, 10:01:27 PM »
when i was in highschool i was swinging my backpack to throw it on top of the bleachers because highschool was fucking boring, so picture me turning in circles like im throwing a hammer in those olympic events, I was building up a shit ton of speed, I didnt notice the junior girls volleyball were warming up, i let go of my bag filled with 3 books and it drilled this girl right in the dome flooring her instantly, everyone in the whole gym stopped, about 80 people saw it, and i heard my friend who was up on the bleachers crack up laughing, I just stood there with a pale white face I seriously though she was knocked out cold, turns out she was fine but fuck those 10 seconds were awkward


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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #134 on: September 08, 2009, 10:18:37 PM »
Jordan's story reminded me of this one. When I was about 12 and my parents seperated my dad had a girlfriend I didn't know about. I was spending a few weeks with him over the summer and he was texting on his phone all the fucking time. One time he forgot his phone while he went to the grocery store and I heard it beep so I picked it up and decided to read all of his text messages. Every single fucking message was dirty talk between him and his fucking gold digger girlfriend who was twenty years younger than him. The only one I remember is one he sent to her that said 'I miss you so much...especially your breasts and pussy'. I was so fucking disgusted, both at the thought of my dad saying something like that, and that someone would ever think that is a sexy thing to say.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #135 on: September 08, 2009, 10:53:48 PM »
HORRIBLE innocent child racism:

At my elementary school, 99.9% of all the students were white.  Most of us little white kids never hung out with any black kids before because there WERE none in our town.  Anyway, the schools began implemented the METCO program, bringing in children from the inner city to the suburbs to get a better education.  Fast forward to 5th grade, we have 2 black girls in our class.  One day, this one girl Latesha was giving me shit because she found out I have a crush on another girl.  After she belittled me for a good 5 minutes in front of the class about how I was stupid and that I liked girls, I exploded and yelled STR8 into her dark face "OH YEAH?  WELL AT LEAST I'M WHITE"

Anyways, from the silence that fell over the classroom, I knew that I did a bad thing.  To this day, I am super nice to any black person I meet just to make up for that horrible childhood faux-pas.
i feel you on that one.
in the fourth grade, i'd recently seen the part of chris rock's bigger and blacker where he talks about old black men being the most racist people ever. but i saw just the part where he kept saying "cracker ass cracker..." so it was completely out of context. i didn't know that the word was a racial slur, i just thought it was an insult like "stupid" or "moron" and i found it hilarious. i told it to my best friend at the time (still friends now) and he told me after i was done very softly with an offended expression on his face that it was in fact a racial slur. we just stood there for a little while in silence. i felt like an idiot.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #136 on: September 08, 2009, 11:00:14 PM »
When I was in like fourth grade or something my brother was having a sleepover in my basement. I didn't think much of it until i woke up in the middle of the night whilst peeing on the wall of said basement with about 10 of my brother's friends standing there laughing at me. No idea why, but I'm some sort of sleep pisser.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #137 on: September 09, 2009, 12:14:22 AM »
Neither of these happened directly to me or is really bad they are pretty embarrassing.

In a high school  a girl was talking to our class about how we should be nice to mentally ill people and try to be friends with them when my friend said "Oh yeah?  how many regular people are you friends with" like she was an idiot.  The class got all quiet and she said "My brother is mentally handicapped"

and

My friend and I were talking to some guy on a mountain bike for some reason when we noticed he only had half of his handlebars on his bike so my friend said "Wow did you break your handlebars?"  and the guy said "I only have one arm" which was true.


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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #138 on: September 09, 2009, 02:24:13 PM »
No idea why, but I'm some sort of sleep pisser.
after a good night of parties and beer, the next day my dad told me that i walked into his room at around 5 am, whipped out my tool and painted his floor yellow. i really wish i could say this happened in my youth but in all actuality, it was about a month ago. better believe that was an awkward phone call.
She can't complain about it being gross- she's shooting pussy juice at your face.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #139 on: September 09, 2009, 06:56:43 PM »
when I was around 14 or 15 I went to south Texas to attend a family reunion at my great uncles house. All the extended family on my moms side were there having a good time, eating barbecue and carrying on. About half way into my meal I have to piss so I go into the downstairs bathroom to do my business. After I finished taking a leak a noticed a scale on the floor by the toilet. For some reason I decided that I needed to achieve an erection and then weigh my dick on the scale. Just as I get a boner and get the scale up on the counter my uncle walks in and catches me trying to find the weight of my penis. I could never look him in the eye again.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #140 on: September 09, 2009, 09:59:05 PM »
For some reason I decided that I needed to achieve an erection and then weigh my dick on the scale. Just as I get a boner and get the scale up on the counter my uncle walks in and catches me trying to find the weight of my penis. I could never look him in the eye again.
Hahahhaha
made me lol
gotta try this shit

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #141 on: September 09, 2009, 10:59:41 PM »
I feel like i can put this into a screenplay im trying to write. if it ever sells, i will get everyone who contributed your royalties.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #142 on: September 10, 2009, 11:30:51 AM »
haha!

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #143 on: September 12, 2009, 03:01:33 PM »
Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)

Man, we can totally eat that pig.  that pig can be in us right now.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #144 on: September 12, 2009, 06:51:55 PM »
Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)

You might be a homoseksual.

rob2

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #145 on: September 13, 2009, 10:20:37 AM »
The only one I remember is one he sent to her that said 'I miss you so much...especially your breasts and pussy'. I was so fucking disgusted, both at the thought of my dad saying something like that, and that someone would ever think that is a sexy thing to say.

That's the worst dirty talk i've ever heard you should of given him some advice. Although I do like that he makes it clear that he only wants her for sex

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #146 on: September 13, 2009, 04:20:26 PM »
Expand Quote
Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

You might be a homoseksual.

unfortunatly for you, i am not  :(

Man, we can totally eat that pig.  that pig can be in us right now.

Gnarwhal

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #147 on: September 13, 2009, 04:51:20 PM »
walked in on my uncle jacking off and later that day at the dinner table he said to everyone i had walked in on him "popping his zit"

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #148 on: September 13, 2009, 07:54:05 PM »
HORRIBLE innocent child racism:

At my elementary school, 99.9% of all the students were white.  Most of us little white kids never hung out with any black kids before because there WERE none in our town.  Anyway, the schools began implemented the METCO program, bringing in children from the inner city to the suburbs to get a better education.  Fast forward to 5th grade, we have 2 black girls in our class.  One day, this one girl Latesha was giving me shit because she found out I have a crush on another girl.  After she belittled me for a good 5 minutes in front of the class about how I was stupid and that I liked girls, I exploded and yelled STR8 into her dark face "OH YEAH?  WELL AT LEAST I'M WHITE"

Anyways, from the silence that fell over the classroom, I knew that I did a bad thing.  To this day, I am super nice to any black person I meet just to make up for that horrible childhood faux-pas.

i've got a better one...  i was literally at just the age to begin talking coherently.  i don't know how old i was but it was really young.  my dad took me to the doctor for a check up, and there was a family of blacks waiting with us in the room.  there were the little black kids playing on the floor right next to me, and i ask my dad (completely innocent) "dad, can i go play with the monkeys?".  my dad told me this story not too long ago...  he said the father of the family looked at him like he wanted to beat his ass. 

Clayton

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #149 on: September 14, 2009, 12:50:31 AM »
The aftermath of this incident was what really made it awkward

My 2nd year in college I got invited as a date to this big ass Greek banquet where all the sororities and fraternities show off their new people. I drank a 40 and a shot or two before we get there. When we get the dude who's handing out wrist bands for the 21+ hooks me up for no apparent reason other than he's down for people getting drunk. Drank another beer, more shots, and at this point I'm pretty drunk and having the time of my life watching all these fine college hoes in dresses do dances for everyone. As soon as the formalities are over shit turns into a dance party. The girl I came with as a date was a lesbian friend of mine, so that meant I could dance with any girls I pleased. My friend buys me a long island changing my physical state from "drunk" to "wasted." I'm dancing left and right with all these different fine ass girls, and surely enough, busted ones too. Don't remember but my friend said at one point I was dancing with the photographer lady who was probably 10 years older than me. I see this black girl that I had some previous history with that was my dates sorority sister. At a party just a week before at one point I had her alone in my bed, but was too big of a pussy at the time to even think about whippin' it out. She has her huge ass titz poppin out of her dress and shit, mad cleavage. I can see the line on her skin where the nipple meets the tit. So this girl has her camera and hands it to my friend to take a picture. In my drunken state I think to myself, "damn...it would be fucking hilarious if I could subtly yank on her dress slightly, exposing her nipple for the picture without her noticing." So I tell my friend to take the picture on 3 with this thought in my head. I count down, 1...2...3! and on 3 I drunkenly pull her dress down, revealing her fully exposed titty out for the world to see, (I found out later I had even broken the strap that held her dress.) Drunkenly not thinking anything of it, I immediately bounce to the dance floor to continue dancing with hoes. Apparently she just had a few shots, and started freaking out crying. Word spread instantly from person to person. All her sorority sisters found out about it, and so did a bunch of frat dudes they were friends with. Someone has to come up to me and tell me, "what the fuck did you just do?!" before I realize anything is wrong. My friends try to get me out of there, but before I can escape one of their dikey sisters corners me and cusses me out in front of a shit load of people. Buzz instantly gone, and some UFC lookin' frat dude comes up to me and tells me to leave.

I felt like shit about it for a couple of weeks. Couldn't walk through the union without feeling like the school perve. Apologized to her the following monday on campus, she cried, it sucked. Felt like shit about it for a while. Gave a formal apology to her at one of her sorority meetings in front of all the girls. The amazing thing is that they're all cool with me now. However, karma hit me pretty bad the following weekend when I was arrested for smoking weed at the dorms.

Looking back it was fucking awesome and I would do anything for a copy of that picture.

And one time my mom walked in on me masturbating, but that's a far less interesting story.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2009, 01:45:06 AM by Clayton »