Author Topic: Awkward moments from your youth.  (Read 30060 times)

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Beer Keg Peg Leg

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #150 on: September 14, 2009, 04:39:53 AM »
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Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

You might be a homoseksual.
[close]

unfortunatly for you, i am not  :(

I guess then, you've never had the pleasure of giving a babe the two finger special. The first time a boy fingers a chick, it is one of the greatest moments of his life. You might be making out in a bout of adolescent drunkeness, or maybe on your girlfriend's back porch, and when you realize she isn't going to slap your hand away as it goes farther south, it feels like your dickhead is going to explode with boner juice. After years of seeing Vaginas getting pummeled on your computer monitor, you are finally aware of what that stinking, moist, badly shaven pussy feels like, and it feels fucking awesome. You have no fucking idea what you are doing and you just go buck wild, trying to emulate the porn stars you so admire. You don't wash your hands for weeks, and at every opportunity you sneak a whiff of that kit-kat that your girl so enjoyed. Years later, you can still remember that specific smell, and my friend, it is glorious. I love fingering.

Upgrayedd

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #151 on: September 14, 2009, 07:01:24 AM »
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Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

You might be a homoseksual.
[close]

unfortunatly for you, i am not  :(
[close]

I guess then, you've never had the pleasure of giving a babe the two finger special. The first time a boy fingers a chick, it is one of the greatest moments of his life. You might be making out in a bout of adolescent drunkeness, or maybe on your girlfriend's back porch, and when you realize she isn't going to slap your hand away as it goes farther south, it feels like your dickhead is going to explode with boner juice. After years of seeing Vaginas getting pummeled on your computer monitor, you are finally aware of what that stinking, moist, badly shaven pussy feels like, and it feels fucking awesome. You have no fucking idea what you are doing and you just go buck wild, trying to emulate the porn stars you so admire. You don't wash your hands for weeks, and at every opportunity you sneak a whiff of that kit-kat that your girl so enjoyed. Years later, you can still remember that specific smell, and my friend, it is glorious. I love fingering.

+1 epic tale...you are a gentleman and a scholar bad ass mutha fucka


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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #152 on: September 14, 2009, 08:19:30 AM »
that fingering story kind of reminded me of this.

when i was really young i had a friend who was an actual midget. it was really funny. he had two older, slutty sisters. one day i went to his house, which i had never done before, and found that they were a pretty dirty, white trash family. it made sense to me that they would have two sluts and a midget for kids. anyways, i went to use the bathroom and saw that his sisters dirty panties were sitting right on top of the pile of dirty clothes in there. having never smelt an actual poonie, but loving to masturbate, i thought that smelling those undies would give me a closer understanding of what it'd be like to paint some ovaries white. i picked them up, took a giant whiff, and almost puked. it was one of the most disgusting smells ive ever had the displeasure of smelling in my life. i dont know if she had a yeast infection, or was just shoving those things up her actual ass but i could never look at her the same again, and i even stopped being friends with the midget. it was so rank. i thought all poon smelt like that for a while, but then realized that she was just a filthy filthy girl.

thinking of it, another story and probably part of the reason i stopped being friends with the midg is that i told someone i'd seen midget porn on the computer before, which i had, because i looked up all sorts of sick shit just to see if it existed, and what it was like. anyways, people started saying i jerked off to midget porn which wasnt true, but could have definitely contributed to the demise of our relationship.

Nautical J

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #153 on: September 14, 2009, 07:57:57 PM »
Freshman year I was in health class chilling out and relaxing with my bros. I thought it would be funny to put my index in middle finger through my fly. So I showed it to some kids and at first glance they all thought it was my dick, each freaking out at first then laughing when they came to the realization that it wasn't. So at this point I'm hyped at these reactions, so I decide to just leave my two fingers through my fly like I have a major bonzor. So other kids start freaking out and out of no where the teacher shows up in the front of the class through an exit that is never used so she's facing me (I'm sitting in the first row.) Stunned at the sight, that she thinks I am openly displaying my boner, she shreaks. This starts a chain reaction of girls and kids on the other side of the class looking over towards me also thinking my cock is just out. At this point the teacher (a huge feminist) shouts at the top of her lungs, "zip up and get out of my classroom this instant. Go to my office"
So I walk to her office laughing to myself, I mean I thought it wasn't a big deal, I merely had my fingers out. So I'm chilling in her office laughing my ass of and texting some homies about what to do later that night. At this point, she barells into the room, sights in her chair and slams her two fists down at her desk facing towards me. She's figured out by now that I didn't have my dick out and just my fingers, but she's still pissed as fuck. She goes as far as to say I might have scared girls in my class mentally and how my act was defacing the integrity of everyone in her class and making a mockery of her. I start talking my way out of it and calming her down, but after my speech she demands that I tell the dean of discipline what I've done.

This was when it got awkward as fuck, explaining that I had the intention of tricking others that I was exposing myself in hopes of laughs. I ended up getting one day in school suspension, because I talked my way out of shit. At first they wanted to expel me, but I gave them some bullshit about how I was lashing out because I felt inadequate because I didn't start the last soccer game. All in all completely worth it. My parents thought it was hilarious.


Another awkward situation was when I was at overnight camp going into 8th grade. It was the night of the dance and all the ladies in my age group were dressed to impress. So I was fucking pysched grinding it up on the dance flooor and macing bitches. So anyways this one bitch starts coming onto me real strong and she pulls me against a wall and we start grinding front to front. Then, we start making out and I'm coping a feel of her tits and I'm fucking pysched as hell. So I start unbuttoning her jeans and try to go in to the two finger tango, note this is a dance. Once I try for it I get the boot from some European councaler who can hardly speak english. Whatever, I'm over it no big deal. Still fucking pysched as hell I walk to the bathroom to take a leak. Only problem is I have a fucking raging boner that my 13 year old self can just not make go away. I try pissing in the urinal but I physically cannot contain my boner. So at this point i back up like 7 feet and go for the long distance pee. It's somewhat working, but I'm just hastily pissing all over everything and not hitting the urinal. So while I'm in the process of doing this the councaler who kicked me out of the dance waltzes into the bathroom and there I am in the middle of the bathroom, raging boner, pissing all over a 5 ft perimeter of the urinal. He just stands there speechless and then just starts shouting at me. I have no idea what to do so I finish, pull me pants up and run out back to the cabin full boner and wait for my homies to come back so I can tell them up the night's triumphs. The next day was the last day and the very same European guy was assigned to help me take my trunk and shit to my parent's car.
« Last Edit: September 14, 2009, 08:08:05 PM by Nautical J »

alrightythen

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #154 on: November 12, 2009, 02:48:01 AM »
bump

Narcissus

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #155 on: November 12, 2009, 12:57:56 PM »


One time my mom made a cake, and she fed me the little bit of leftover white icing on a spoon. As I stuck out my tongue, she said "This is what it's like when a guy cums in your mouth".

what the fuck? why would she say that????

Edit: Wanted to add to you, Anti Krooked, that no matter how stoned you are, you can't get AIDS from fingersex.
« Last Edit: November 12, 2009, 01:13:40 PM by Narcissus »
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zipzinger666

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #156 on: November 12, 2009, 01:33:06 PM »
On the first day of seventh grade I went to my science class. I was stoked because i had a few friends in my class, particularly this kid Jaerden that i would chill with pretty often.

As class started our teacher Ms. Frazier walked in on some crutches and it was pretty clear that her leg was broken. We started by telling everyone what happened over the summer, what with the vacations and other bullshit. When it got to the end Ms. Frazier told us what happened over her summer and how she broke her leg. I guess she was biking down her block and as she rode through a crosswalk an SUV flew through, hit her and broke it. She then told us it was a japanese woman on vacation who hit her.

Then, for no reason, Jaerden says, " Women shouldnt drive anyways, especially asian ones."

It was the most ridiculous thing I had heard at that age and I was in the middle of drinking sum gatorade when he said this so I immediately projectile spit red liquid all over the row ahead of me. Ms. Frazier immediately sends us to the deans office, who gave us a long speech about racism and sexism and how its ruining our society. Got 3 days in school suspension within 2 hours on the first day. It was probably the most awkward class to be in for the rest of the year too...
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #157 on: November 12, 2009, 01:50:45 PM »


That second story reminds me of an ok one. When I was a kid, like 7-8ish, I used to get a thrill from pulling my dick out under the table in class. I did it at least once an hour at one point. Until a girl kept noticing me look under the table all weird over and over (I had to see that my penis was fully out for some reason) and checked it out for herself. She started giggling and cheering that she saw my wee-wee, and my parents got called for it. I think they all took it as some sort of weird growing curiousity type thing, and gave me a lecture about the differences between boys and girls, and how you should keep some stuff private instead of busting me.

Holy shit that is hilarious!

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #158 on: November 12, 2009, 02:29:34 PM »

Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)

Have you ever eaten pussy? Way gnarlier, but I think both are fantastic.
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slappies

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #159 on: November 12, 2009, 04:40:41 PM »
I shit my pants at my birthday party when I was 10. We were about to leave to go bowling, and I farted. It felt a little juicier than usual so I went to check it out.Turns out I left a nice sloppy shit in my underwear. I threw it in the tub and ran water on it and left it in there. Everyone asked what happened and I just told them I went pee. They believed I took a 10 minute piss, so I just went along with it. After bowling when everyone came back to my place, my mom went in the washroom and found my underwear. She yelled out, Are you serious, next time you poop your pants don't leave it in the tub!". It was a little awkward having all my friends know I shit my pants.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #160 on: November 12, 2009, 08:12:55 PM »

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Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

Have you ever eaten pussy? Way gnarlier, but I think both are fantastic.

I don't think you even know gnarly till you've tasted brown
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #161 on: November 12, 2009, 08:14:28 PM »
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Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

Have you ever eaten pussy? Way gnarlier, but I think both are fantastic.
[close]

I don't think you even know gnarly till you've tasted brown
I've stuck many things in many ways into an asshole, but never got the tongue down there.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

odp

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #162 on: November 12, 2009, 08:42:25 PM »
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Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

Have you ever eaten pussy? Way gnarlier, but I think both are fantastic.
[close]

I don't think you even know gnarly till you've tasted brown
[close]
I've stuck many things in many ways into an asshole, but never got the tongue down there.

there's nothing wrong with licking a girls asshole as long as she's clean. drives a girl wild.

zipzinger666

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #163 on: November 12, 2009, 10:49:40 PM »
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Well this happened last night, usually since i live in a piece of shit town the only thing to do it go to the futbol game and socialize, well while socializing a friend (enemy) throws my dr pepper bottle out behind the bathroom /snack bar building so i run to there and what do i find my hipster friends sister getting fingered by her boyfriend.  so i stand there like o shit what the fuck am i gonna do so i get my dr pepper and suddenly out of no where i say, "you know you can get some kinda h.i.v like that, well it is the most disgusting way to show love, well have a good time"  (i was somewhat baked)  i have not talked to them since and i dont plan too, fingering is just fucked (my opinion)
[close]

Have you ever eaten pussy? Way gnarlier, but I think both are fantastic.
[close]

I don't think you even know gnarly till you've tasted brown
[close]
I've stuck many things in many ways into an asshole, but never got the tongue down there.
[close]

there's nothing wrong with licking a girls asshole as long as she's clean. drives a girl wild.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO6q7EiNPaA
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TheFreshSC

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #164 on: November 12, 2009, 11:29:18 PM »
once when i was about 8 or 9 years old, i was at a friend's house after school and we were playing some Gran Turismo, which, to me at the time, was the coolest game ever. My friend Michael was hogging the controller and would take really long turns, at least until his mom yelled for him to go do his chores. This was my chance to play uninterrupted and i planned to do so for as long as possible. I was pretty far into some sort of championship mode where there are a bunch of races in a row and you can't start over, when an overwhelming need to defecate arose. I really needed to use the restroom, but i decided instead to finish the grand prix instead of pressing pause, to avoid having Michael's little brother enter the room and mess up my winning streak. So enveloped was i in this video game that i didn't notice what was occurring in my jeans until it was too late.  I somehow managed to keep the mess in my pants to a minimum, letting about half a turd loose into my boxers. I held this lump (which was fortunately more solid than liquid) against my leg as i finally set the controller down and went to the bathroom. Disgust was all i felt as i shook and kicked with all my might to let the feces exit my pants at the bottom of the pant leg. The turd flew out and came to a rest on the linoleum bathroom floor. I left it there momentarily as i hurried to sit down and finish in the toilet, and I could do nothing but stare at this ping pong ball-sized lump the whole time. I left it there and hoped it got blamed on Dylan, my best friend's 3 year old brother. I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, so i did what any 9 year old would do and went back to continue my Gran Turismo.
Michael's mom entered the bathroom about 20 minutes later and flipped out. Of course, the youngest child got blamed instead of me, but i felt so much shame and guilt watching him get yelled at for something he didnt do. Pretty damn awkward, considering the tv i was using was situated right outside the bathroom where it all went down.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #165 on: November 13, 2009, 12:20:03 AM »
once when i was about 8 or 9 years old, i was at a friend's house after school and we were playing some Gran Turismo, which, to me at the time, was the coolest game ever. My friend Michael was hogging the controller and would take really long turns, at least until his mom yelled for him to go do his chores. This was my chance to play uninterrupted and i planned to do so for as long as possible. I was pretty far into some sort of championship mode where there are a bunch of races in a row and you can't start over, when an overwhelming need to defecate arose. I really needed to use the restroom, but i decided instead to finish the grand prix instead of pressing pause, to avoid having Michael's little brother enter the room and mess up my winning streak. So enveloped was i in this video game that i didn't notice what was occurring in my jeans until it was too late.  I somehow managed to keep the mess in my pants to a minimum, letting about half a turd loose into my boxers. I held this lump (which was fortunately more solid than liquid) against my leg as i finally set the controller down and went to the bathroom. Disgust was all i felt as i shook and kicked with all my might to let the feces exit my pants at the bottom of the pant leg. The turd flew out and came to a rest on the linoleum bathroom floor. I left it there momentarily as i hurried to sit down and finish in the toilet, and I could do nothing but stare at this ping pong ball-sized lump the whole time. I left it there and hoped it got blamed on Dylan, my best friend's 3 year old brother. I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it, so i did what any 9 year old would do and went back to continue my Gran Turismo.
Michael's mom entered the bathroom about 20 minutes later and flipped out. Of course, the youngest child got blamed instead of me, but i felt so much shame and guilt watching him get yelled at for something he didnt do. Pretty damn awkward, considering the tv i was using was situated right outside the bathroom where it all went down.
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Bobbito

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #166 on: November 13, 2009, 05:59:06 AM »
I remember in 7th grade I was at my friends bar mitztvah. I'm kind of shy now depending on the situation but back then I could not approach a girl for the life of me. Anyways, music was playing and kids were acting a fool on the dancefloor grinding up on whatever ass girls had. I saw some girl and my buddies older brother noticed me scoping her out so he starts fucking with me bein like go up to her man she's  totally down just grab her hips and start grinding with her. So basically after pushing me into the crowd I walked up behind her all nervous like and instead of grabbing the hips I grab her shoulders and don't even fully grind up on her. So that was akward and lasted for maybe 30 seconds til she split to go see her friends. I walked past them at one point and could tell that they were talking the most shit possible so after that I sat around all bummed out and mostly embarresed. To this day it's still a little bit weird when I see her but it's whatever. She ended up sleeping with several of my buddies in the following 6 years after which made me laugh more than be mad or jealous.
 

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #167 on: November 13, 2009, 10:40:32 AM »
I was about 8 years old and me and my were fucking around, digging a hole or some shit, so he told me to go get a shovel from his house. I went back to his house and looked in the shed and found that the walls were covered in foil there was heat lamps on the roof and the ground was covered with weed. As an 8 year old it was the first time I ever saw that shit, i had no idea what it was.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #168 on: November 14, 2009, 10:53:48 AM »
I was about 8 years old and me and my were fucking around, digging a hole or some shit, so he told me to go get a shovel from his house. I went back to his house and looked in the shed and found that the walls were covered in foil there was heat lamps on the roof and the ground was covered with weed. As an 8 year old it was the first time I ever saw that shit, i had no idea what it was.

How is that awkward?

odp

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #169 on: November 14, 2009, 04:19:54 PM »
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I was about 8 years old and me and my were fucking around, digging a hole or some shit, so he told me to go get a shovel from his house. I went back to his house and looked in the shed and found that the walls were covered in foil there was heat lamps on the roof and the ground was covered with weed. As an 8 year old it was the first time I ever saw that shit, i had no idea what it was.
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How is that awkward?

because he's trying to be cool

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #170 on: November 14, 2009, 05:33:14 PM »
I remember in second or third grade I tried to shit in a urinal once, tried being the key word. I remember that there was an autistic or regular kid in my class for third or fourth grade, and I always treated him like shit. I don't know why I did, but to this day I feel really bad about it. That's not really awkward, though.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #171 on: November 14, 2009, 07:38:19 PM »
I remember in second or third grade I tried to shit in a urinal once, tried being the key word. I remember that there was an autistic or regular kid in my class for third or fourth grade, and I always treated him like shit. I don't know why I did, but to this day I feel really bad about it. That's not really awkward, though.
Face it, you often still laugh to yourself at the odd things that come out of autistic people's mouth, you just have the sensitivity to understand that by laughing, you are hurting that kid's feelings. Little kids don't.
Hey, out of curiousity, do you remember WHY you wanted to shit in a urinal? I've seen it before and have never understood the motivation.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #172 on: November 14, 2009, 08:31:38 PM »
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I remember in second or third grade I tried to shit in a urinal once, tried being the key word. I remember that there was an autistic or regular kid in my class for third or fourth grade, and I always treated him like shit. I don't know why I did, but to this day I feel really bad about it. That's not really awkward, though.
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Face it, you often still laugh to yourself at the odd things that come out of autistic people's mouth, you just have the sensitivity to understand that by laughing, you are hurting that kid's feelings. Little kids don't.
Hey, out of curiousity, do you remember WHY you wanted to shit in a urinal? I've seen it before and have never understood the motivation.

Dude theres some thread on here where we talk about pissing all over bathrooms, so its the same reason.