one time, I was at this public pool, just gettin mah swim on, and I was doing that scuba-like swim where your arms are to your sides, and your legs kick while you just look straight down like a dumbass into the water. anyway, I'm paddling along, and I notice these little brown things, and I'm like "oh schnapp, a penny saved is a penny earned" so I swam down and took one into my hand, held it, and pressed my thumb against it and it just sank into it, upon realizing what it was, instead of just dropping it immediately and playing it off, I surfaced and held my arm up and went "IT'S SHIIIIIIIIIT!"
they kicked me out cause' they were covinced it was mine, and I had to walk like 4 miles home in the mid-day sun.
Also, when I was in kindergarten, in art class there was this long ass table like in the last supper, and I was sitting at the head of the table, and this black chick named "Luisiausianni" (pronounced loose-i-oohs-i-anni, I shit you not) and I whispered that I'd show her my privates if she showed me hers. I look under the table, and she looks at me, and she makes a "v" with her fingers in place of her cha cha, and I took it as an offense like she was calling my bluff. So naturally I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them all the way down to my ankles, dick straight chillin'. She was amazed that I did it, and I pulled my pants back up without anybody noticing.
but that story's more awesome than awkward
Another time when i was 15, my mom managed to land me my first job at this diner she was working at washing dishes. The owner fucking loved me and paid me more than i get paid now, like 80 dollars for 4 hours of work or some shit. But that's beside the point. One day I'd just spent like 30 minutes of my possible 240 minutes scubbing one pan, and I held it out, admiring my reflection in this pan I'd just brandished so thoroughly, and I made a sharp left turn to hang it where it goes, and my knuckle sunk 3 inches deep between my mom's hot ass friends' huge titties who was standing right behind me. I immediately went all boy-scout with apologies, and she wasn't sweating it. She then left to do whatever it is she was walking by in the first place to do, and I went straight to the bathroom and jacked off vigerously, busting one of those tiny crystal clear nuts you bust when it's one of your first 10-15 times doing it.
I shortly there after got paid 80 bucks cash under the table, walked to the mall and bought a new deck from this shitty ass chain store "mr rags". At the time, best day of my life.