Author Topic: Awkward moments from your youth.  (Read 30041 times)

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Locbrew

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2009, 05:59:20 PM »
In kindergarten, I got puked on by a kid I was playing Legos with, I was bummed cause I had to go home, I just wanted to play with legos,  turns out the kid ended up being one of my best friends later on during middle and high school.  

Also, in first grade, Mortal Kombat II was really the shit, so on the playground we where playing Mortal Kombat II, running around and pretended to be characters, I was Johnny Cage, doing shadow kicks and shit. Tried to do the split and punch, ended up splitting my sweet ass shorts that I had, I think they where like neon green or something, it sucked.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2009, 06:09:58 PM by Locbrew »
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EricLogan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2009, 06:35:26 PM »
one time, I was at this public pool, just gettin mah swim on, and I was doing that scuba-like swim where your arms are to your sides, and your legs kick while you just look straight down like a dumbass into the water. anyway, I'm paddling along, and I notice these little brown things, and I'm like "oh schnapp, a penny saved is a penny earned" so I swam down and took one into my hand, held it, and pressed my thumb against it and it just sank into it, upon realizing what it was, instead of just dropping it immediately and playing it off, I surfaced and held my arm up and went "IT'S SHIIIIIIIIIT!"

they kicked me out cause' they were covinced it was mine, and I had to walk like 4 miles home in the mid-day sun.

Also, when I was in kindergarten, in art class there was this long ass table like in the last supper, and I was sitting at the head of the table, and this black chick named "Luisiausianni" (pronounced loose-i-oohs-i-anni, I shit you not) and I whispered that I'd show her my privates if she showed me hers. I look under the table, and she looks at me, and she makes a "v" with her fingers in place of her cha cha, and I took it as an offense like she was calling my bluff. So naturally I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them all the way down to my ankles, dick straight chillin'. She was amazed that I did it, and I pulled my pants back up without anybody noticing.

but that story's more awesome than awkward

Another time when i was 15, my mom managed to land me my first job at this diner she was working at washing dishes. The owner fucking loved me and paid me more than i get paid now, like 80 dollars for 4 hours of work or some shit. But that's beside the point. One day I'd just spent like 30 minutes of my possible 240 minutes scubbing one pan, and I held it out, admiring my reflection in this pan I'd just brandished so thoroughly, and I made a sharp left turn to hang it where it goes, and my knuckle sunk 3 inches deep between my mom's hot ass friends' huge titties who was standing right behind me. I immediately went all boy-scout with apologies, and she wasn't sweating it. She then left to do whatever it is she was walking by in the first place to do, and I went straight to the bathroom and jacked off vigerously, busting one of those tiny crystal clear nuts you bust when it's one of your first 10-15 times doing it.

I shortly there after got paid 80 bucks cash under the table, walked to the mall and bought a new deck from this shitty ass chain store "mr rags". At the time, best day of my life.
I rarely venture into classic slap and the one time I do it I find a guy getting his dick eaten by a dolphin.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #32 on: August 31, 2009, 07:58:40 PM »
when i moved to a new school in sixth grade i apparently said the wrong thing to the wrong person, and the fucker started a rumor that i was gay. they even got people to go along with it and they said they heard me say it

i went out to umass amherst a few months ago and my buddy billy invited some drunk girl back to our other friends dorm. a few of us had to sleep on the floor, so we all went out to smoke cigarettes at three in the morning, only to come back to them two making out in the bed. she was 22 and he was 17(awesome for him). time goes by as we're trying to sleep when all of a sudden she starts sucking his dick, we hear him let out a prolonged "ohhh", and then she kept going at it. she was using her whole body somehow, and when she was finally done we all started laughing while he tried to apologize

the next night we went to a party, and she came up to me and asked if i wanted to have the "kinkiest sex of my life" with her best friend. i didn't want to pass up the opportunity, so i said yes, and se introduced me to the wrong girl, so after a half hour i feel like the biggest dumbass

another awkward moment was when we caught this kid jacking off in math class in tenth grade. he turned so incredibly red

when i was younger this kid got dared to bring in a vibrator to school. as another dare , i had to tell on him. i got called to the principles office only to have this giant vibrator staring me in the face

when i moved my mom asked me if it would be a problem for my bed to be next to a window. i asked her why and she told me that she heard me kicking my wall every morning. it was awkward to get caught jacking off, without actually being seen
« Last Edit: August 31, 2009, 08:02:07 PM by Boston. »

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #33 on: August 31, 2009, 08:07:38 PM »
one tiime when i was getting my haircut, the guy who owned the place walked in to talk to the guy cutting my hair.
and he walked in front of me with his leg touching my leg, and his boner in my face
.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #34 on: August 31, 2009, 08:15:04 PM »
one time, I was at this public pool, just gettin mah swim on, and I was doing that scuba-like swim where your arms are to your sides, and your legs kick while you just look straight down like a dumbass into the water. anyway, I'm paddling along, and I notice these little brown things, and I'm like "oh schnapp, a penny saved is a penny earned" so I swam down and took one into my hand, held it, and pressed my thumb against it and it just sank into it, upon realizing what it was, instead of just dropping it immediately and playing it off, I surfaced and held my arm up and went "IT'S SHIIIIIIIIIT!"

they kicked me out cause' they were covinced it was mine, and I had to walk like 4 miles home in the mid-day sun.

Also, when I was in kindergarten, in art class there was this long ass table like in the last supper, and I was sitting at the head of the table, and this black chick named "Luisiausianni" (pronounced loose-i-oohs-i-anni, I shit you not) and I whispered that I'd show her my privates if she showed me hers. I look under the table, and she looks at me, and she makes a "v" with her fingers in place of her cha cha, and I took it as an offense like she was calling my bluff. So naturally I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them all the way down to my ankles, dick straight chillin'. She was amazed that I did it, and I pulled my pants back up without anybody noticing.

but that story's more awesome than awkward

Another time when i was 15, my mom managed to land me my first job at this diner she was working at washing dishes. The owner fucking loved me and paid me more than i get paid now, like 80 dollars for 4 hours of work or some shit. But that's beside the point. One day I'd just spent like 30 minutes of my possible 240 minutes scubbing one pan, and I held it out, admiring my reflection in this pan I'd just brandished so thoroughly, and I made a sharp left turn to hang it where it goes, and my knuckle sunk 3 inches deep between my mom's hot ass friends' huge titties who was standing right behind me. I immediately went all boy-scout with apologies, and she wasn't sweating it. She then left to do whatever it is she was walking by in the first place to do, and I went straight to the bathroom and jacked off vigerously, busting one of those tiny crystal clear nuts you bust when it's one of your first 10-15 times doing it.

I shortly there after got paid 80 bucks cash under the table, walked to the mall and bought a new deck from this shitty ass chain store "mr rags". At the time, best day of my life.
That second story reminds me of an ok one. When I was a kid, like 7-8ish, I used to get a thrill from pulling my dick out under the table in class. I did it at least once an hour at one point. Until a girl kept noticing me look under the table all weird over and over (I had to see that my penis was fully out for some reason) and checked it out for herself. She started giggling and cheering that she saw my wee-wee, and my parents got called for it. I think they all took it as some sort of weird growing curiousity type thing, and gave me a lecture about the differences between boys and girls, and how you should keep some stuff private instead of busting me.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #35 on: August 31, 2009, 08:29:41 PM »
I used to show proudly my pubic hairs to every girl at school.
It just felt right.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #36 on: August 31, 2009, 09:50:26 PM »
one time, I was at this public pool, just gettin mah swim on, and I was doing that scuba-like swim where your arms are to your sides, and your legs kick while you just look straight down like a dumbass into the water. anyway, I'm paddling along, and I notice these little brown things, and I'm like "oh schnapp, a penny saved is a penny earned" so I swam down and took one into my hand, held it, and pressed my thumb against it and it just sank into it, upon realizing what it was, instead of just dropping it immediately and playing it off, I surfaced and held my arm up and went "IT'S SHIIIIIIIIIT!"

they kicked me out cause' they were covinced it was mine, and I had to walk like 4 miles home in the mid-day sun.

Also, when I was in kindergarten, in art class there was this long ass table like in the last supper, and I was sitting at the head of the table, and this black chick named "Luisiausianni" (pronounced loose-i-oohs-i-anni, I shit you not) and I whispered that I'd show her my privates if she showed me hers. I look under the table, and she looks at me, and she makes a "v" with her fingers in place of her cha cha, and I took it as an offense like she was calling my bluff. So naturally I unbuttoned my pants and pulled them all the way down to my ankles, dick straight chillin'. She was amazed that I did it, and I pulled my pants back up without anybody noticing.

but that story's more awesome than awkward

Another time when i was 15, my mom managed to land me my first job at this diner she was working at washing dishes. The owner fucking loved me and paid me more than i get paid now, like 80 dollars for 4 hours of work or some shit. But that's beside the point. One day I'd just spent like 30 minutes of my possible 240 minutes scubbing one pan, and I held it out, admiring my reflection in this pan I'd just brandished so thoroughly, and I made a sharp left turn to hang it where it goes, and my knuckle sunk 3 inches deep between my mom's hot ass friends' huge titties who was standing right behind me. I immediately went all boy-scout with apologies, and she wasn't sweating it. She then left to do whatever it is she was walking by in the first place to do, and I went straight to the bathroom and jacked off vigerously, busting one of those tiny crystal clear nuts you bust when it's one of your first 10-15 times doing it.

I shortly there after got paid 80 bucks cash under the table, walked to the mall and bought a new deck from this shitty ass chain store "mr rags". At the time, best day of my life.

another embarrassing moment......thats where i bought my first set up.


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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #37 on: August 31, 2009, 09:54:33 PM »
^ain't that the store that used to have blanks and cheaper decks in garbage cans as a marketing approach?

EricLogan

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #38 on: August 31, 2009, 10:32:04 PM »
yeah, i bought that yellow Sheffey w/ the leprechaun on it (pretty sure it's a sports team logo parody) for $15.

They also sold Jnco's, ICP zippo's and breakdancing dvd's.
I rarely venture into classic slap and the one time I do it I find a guy getting his dick eaten by a dolphin.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #39 on: August 31, 2009, 10:58:29 PM »
Hey, right, this ones better than the person stories. When i was in Kindergarten i was riding the van home from school one day and there was this legit midget girl who sat in the seat in front of me. Her name was Megan. She was the bitchiest little cunt ever. So anyways, i'm talking to her all nice and what not, because truth be told, i was an empathetic youngin with a rat tail and racing stripe hair cut, and didn't want her to feel bad that she was an ugly midget who had a twin brother who was taller than her. So we start playing with my matchbox car and talking about Punky Brewster. I told her that I thought Cherry was cute, and this little cunt said "no way, she's black." So i told her to give me my car back. She threw it at my face, then with her disgusting uncut finger nails slashed across my young white chest, tearing my white tshirt and leaving gouges that hurt for days. I had to tell my friends the next day that i got scratched by a midget. Now, well, i saw her a few years ago at 7-11, bitch has kids and was buying one of those fake roses in the glass tube that crackheads always scoop up. Shit was fucked up.

When i was 15, i was banging my girlfriend her in bedroom. Her parents, stupidly, allowed us to keep the door closed all the time. So we're going at it right on her bed in the middle of the day, waiting to eat supper. We're not fully unclothed, you know how it is when youre a youngin going for the quickness, pants around the knees and ankles are perfect. So anyways, i'm in the height of my teenage thrust of lust and as my bum is in the air, ready to spear her supple, young vag, her 11 year old sister walks into the bedroom and screams "GROSS!" and runs outta the room crying. I rolled of the bed and my girlfriend starting crying and freaking out. Her mom came to the room and slapped her. I then had to sit down with her parents and "explain" myself. Then, they gave me a ride to my parents house and made me talk with them..... I stuck to my story that i was just fingering her though, somehow, someway, i pulled it off. But, we were never allowed to close the door again.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #40 on: August 31, 2009, 11:07:03 PM »
in the 10th grade i got stoned at a house party and i thought i was going to die.
i ran around the house yelling for a telephone to call the police, everyone tried to calm me down but i wouldnt hear it.
the following monday was an embarassing day.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #41 on: August 31, 2009, 11:40:49 PM »
i always have a laugh at how in the 6th grade, i shit my pants in the grocery store parking lot while trying to desperately make it to the bathroom (which i wasn't completely sure where it was) from the car. the funniest part is my dramatically slow and wide spread walk as it started to ooze out, and my fearful high-pitched "noooooooooo" that i let out. i was devastated at the time, though, and i remember the soiled pants being particularly expensive.


Nic

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #42 on: September 01, 2009, 12:37:50 AM »
I had just moved to Illinois and it was my first day in highschool and in PE I figured if you didn't want to shower at the end you didn't have to, but you do. It was awkward enough to walk into a shower with 10 other guys I had never met, but to make things worse every one of them checked out my junk in a synchronized stare.

This one is more awesome than awkward.
My girlfriend was going to a party with just girls and I pretty much made her take me because I had nothing to do and all her friends were pissed I was there. They had liquor and we all were drinking and they were being drunk and stupid and one of them told me to wack it with hand sanitizer. Being young and not one to back down from a challenge I did it and it felt really bad. the best part is though when I came a little shot onto some girls pants and she started freaking out. They told all their friends at school and it was a little awkward.

I also got caught jacking off in my girlfriends house twice.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #43 on: September 01, 2009, 02:32:41 AM »
In 9th grade (in Indonesia) I had a PE teacher called Mr. McField. He was black and 6'10 and an ex-marine. Every class he would tell me and my friend Gabe about how he used to go to the red light district and have sex with whores, and that they were always terrified of his massive black dick. One time in class I did something he didn't like and he called me a homo, so right after class I wrote an anonymous letter to the principal telling him everything. Muthafucka was fired. NO ONE CALLS ME A FUCKING HOMO AND CONTINUES DOING THEIR JOB TO REGRET IT.

stabbin

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #44 on: September 01, 2009, 03:02:21 AM »
When I was in 5th grade, or maybe 4th, I had to use the bathroom really bad and I asked to be excused and ran to the bathroom.  At the time I just had a wee little pecker that I only used a thumb to hold down as I went, so I unzip and pushed pretty hard from what I remember because I had to go so bad.  Then something happened that makes no sense at all, (I was obviously looking down to watch myself piss at the time) my thumb slipped off my pecker and piss shoots out at a super fast speed and due to me only using my thumb it created a sling shot type effect and shot my dick straight upright causing me to piss right into my mouth and face.  Luckily no one was in the bathroom and I got out of it without anyone ever knowing what happened.  Thats the story of me pissing into my own mouth.  The end.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #45 on: September 01, 2009, 03:13:31 AM »
my sister used to finger herself rapidly when she was like 10 and i used to catch her doing it. that shit was awkward and i'd tell on her.

my cat somehow shit inside a glass of milk that was mine, i drank the glass of milk and spit the shit out. i was young and it created awkward tension between my cat and i after that.

i have a lot more but i'm delirious right now.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #46 on: September 01, 2009, 03:22:08 AM »
one time in elementary i was on Cougar Patrol, it sounds cooler than it was.. well actually it was kinda cool because we got to kick it outside for like 40 minutes while the upper graders had lunch/2nd recess. the job of a good cougar patroller was not to scope the librarian's (ms. hope) ass, but was to use the whistle every time someone ran. either you did not whistle or you got indian burned by a scowling fifth grader. so one day i'm on duty by the four square courts.  this meant i had to watch the courts and make sure no sketchy stuff was going on inside of the restrooms. so i'm sitting there not doing my job, probably reading if you give a mouse a cookie, then i hear a kid say yuck! and walk out of the restroom. i get up and enter the door. to the front of me are the sinks and to the right of this wall are the urinals and stalls. i start to take a peek around the wall and smell somethin foul. a turd. just.. sitting there on the ground. no where near a toilet. and then there's this kid with a helmet standing there with his pants down to his ankles taking a piss in the urinal thinking it's business as usual. i simply walk out. throw the sash at the nearest teacher, yell i quit! and head over to the dodgeball courts.



Mooley

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #47 on: September 01, 2009, 04:35:11 AM »
In grade 10 or 11 I was walking through a hallway at lunch hour during school with a few friends and we were joking around as per usual. I had a pack of Nibs, and my friend said something stupid at my expense so I meant to throw one at him to get him to shut up. I threw one at him head-level, but missed and it flew over his shoulder and somehow hit this timid looking asian kid walking by. I was already pretty embarrassed for having hit someone I wasn't aiming at, but this kid immediately hunched over and put his hands to his face like he was seriously wounded or something. Turns out it hit him pretty much square in the eye. We kept walking and everything, but eventually he walked into the same room afterwards and it became really obvious he was in some pain and had cried over it. It was fairly awkward, sitting there trying to avoid consoling him for the delicious liquorice treat I introduced to his eye.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #48 on: September 01, 2009, 07:43:37 AM »
That reminds me of another one. This was like 2nd grade or something. Had to shit really bad, but didn't like using school toilets. Held it as long as I could, and in the end, had to run to the bathroom and try to shit. I couldn't make it though, as soon as I dropped trou, a giant log shot out of my ass and landed on the bathroom floor. Embarassed and ashamed, I tried to clean it up. In the end, instead of cleaning it, I pretty much just smeared shit all over my clothes and went back to the daycare service in the building. They were horrified, and the only other two kids who were still there promised not to tell anybody

school toilets were the worst. I always did my best to shit before or after school.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #49 on: September 01, 2009, 09:38:58 AM »
on friday i was walking to a skate spot in montreal (i dont speak french) and i was just walking normally like lifting my shoe just high enough off the ground, and this fucking little bird flew right underneath my shoe, and i fucking stepped on him by accident. this whole restaurant of french people are fucking staring at me and like freaking out on me in french and i just kept walking. i felt so bummed, but what the fuck was i going to do? clean him up? fuck...
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #50 on: September 01, 2009, 11:55:13 AM »
I must've been 10 or 11, just hanging around outside my house with my buddy.  This turd kid named Kieran (everyone called him Queeren) just moved in down the street and he happened to be walking by.  I said, "Hey kid, keep an eye out while I steal a bike."  He didn't know I lived there, so I go get my bike out of the garage, my buddy jumps on the back and we take off around the block.

When we come around the corner, Queeren is at my front door with his mom talking to my dad.  Queeren sees us coming and gets real excited, "There he is!!!"  My dad might've thought it was sorta funny, but he had a fuckin awkward moment right there.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #51 on: September 01, 2009, 12:15:48 PM »
when i was in middle school i think it was i had just gotten out of the shower and decided to j.o. so as i had just gotten out of the shower why would i put clothes on? so im in my bed trying to make the best out of scrambled porn when my mom just walks in. i manage to turn off the tv and cover myself up but it was pretty fucking obvious what i was doing. my mom says real quick what are you doing! before i even have time to think i blurt out WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE IM DOING?! my mom sees a box of crackers real quick and says some thing like oh you know your not supposed to have food in your room. which was a lie. clearly very awkward.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #52 on: September 01, 2009, 12:31:57 PM »
I got caught beating off by a friend. Growing up I had a mini ramp in my back yard. My friend Jeff came over(unannounced) to skate and knocked on the door. I was in the living room in full view. I jumped up and pulled up my boxers and answered the door.

"hey man I came to skate the ramp. Wanna skate?"
"nah, I'm tired. Go ahead and skate it if you want."
"ok. is everything ok? I looks lie your boxers fell of or something." (with a shit eating grin on his face)
"yeah I'm good". See ya later"

He never mentioned it again, but I couldn't look him in the eye for a few weeks.

Shit's funny as hell. I used to always knock on my friend's window in his room to avoid ringing the doorbell and shit. One time I knocked, he saw me, got spooked and said, "did you just see my dick?" I was confused because I had no idea why I would've seen his dick, but he clarified. "I'm jacking off."
i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after.
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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #53 on: September 01, 2009, 12:52:42 PM »
Hey, right, this ones better than the person stories. When i was in Kindergarten i was riding the van home from school one day and there was this legit midget girl who sat in the seat in front of me. Her name was Megan. She was the bitchiest little cunt ever. So anyways, i'm talking to her all nice and what not, because truth be told, i was an empathetic youngin with a rat tail and racing stripe hair cut, and didn't want her to feel bad that she was an ugly midget who had a twin brother who was taller than her. So we start playing with my matchbox car and talking about Punky Brewster. I told her that I thought Cherry was cute, and this little cunt said "no way, she's black." So i told her to give me my car back. She threw it at my face, then with her disgusting uncut finger nails slashed across my young white chest, tearing my white tshirt and leaving gouges that hurt for days. I had to tell my friends the next day that i got scratched by a midget. Now, well, i saw her a few years ago at 7-11, bitch has kids and was buying one of those fake roses in the glass tube that crackheads always scoop up. Shit was fucked up.

When i was 15, i was banging my girlfriend her in bedroom. Her parents, stupidly, allowed us to keep the door closed all the time. So we're going at it right on her bed in the middle of the day, waiting to eat supper. We're not fully unclothed, you know how it is when youre a youngin going for the quickness, pants around the knees and ankles are perfect. So anyways, i'm in the height of my teenage thrust of lust and as my bum is in the air, ready to spear her supple, young vag, her 11 year old sister walks into the bedroom and screams "GROSS!" and runs outta the room crying. I rolled of the bed and my girlfriend starting crying and freaking out. Her mom came to the room and slapped her. I then had to sit down with her parents and "explain" myself. Then, they gave me a ride to my parents house and made me talk with them..... I stuck to my story that i was just fingering her though, somehow, someway, i pulled it off. But, we were never allowed to close the door again.
Obviously it is scary at the time, but explain yourself? You should have told them about the birds and the bees, and explained that you knew they understood, otherwise they wouldn't even have a daughter to defile.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #54 on: September 01, 2009, 12:56:19 PM »
friends moms complain about us taking hour long showers.
It depends on how handsome you are and how young they are. Sometimes they'll be like "oh, your in there, take your time... it's fine"
i thought i was the only one who bruised people with my cum, save it up for about two weeks and release the blast.

Corby Tender

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #55 on: September 01, 2009, 05:50:03 PM »
When I was in 9th grade I was trying to hold back a massive dump the entire day.  By the time 8th period English rolled around I was starting to get worried that shitting my pants could very well be in my near future.  I got permission to go to the bathroom, and proceeded to take a shit comparable to your standard exorcism.  Wet farts, leg spasms, and sighs of relief were aplenty. As this was happening, someone walked in to take a piss so I decided in order to spare myself the walk of shame out of the stall, I was gonna sit there until he left.  It turns out it was my friend from the class I was in, who proceeded to tell the everyone what I was doing.  I walked into hysterical laughter, and every girl going "EWWWW!".  Bewildered, I looked at the teacher to shed some light, she says: "...Danny just gave us too much information."  I didn't talk to him for awhile after that.

So many "your mother" jokes to kids with dead moms.

Oh...and I saw American Pie in theaters with my mom when I was 11.  That was a scarring experience.


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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #56 on: September 01, 2009, 05:57:08 PM »
damn, it was deleted the first time, but my mother was telling me a story about how my sister and i would play circus when we were really young. my mom's room was the tent and she had one of those stuffed animal nets that you hang on the wall in the corner of her room. well, one day i decided for the main event i was going to bounce off the bed and hang by that net with my teeth. it didn't end well. she said i had a bloody mouth and ripped some teeth out. i was an intelligent youngster.

the first time my parent's found porn on the family computer wasn't much fun either.

odp

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #57 on: September 01, 2009, 08:26:12 PM »
Expand Quote
Hey, right, this ones better than the person stories. When i was in Kindergarten i was riding the van home from school one day and there was this legit midget girl who sat in the seat in front of me. Her name was Megan. She was the bitchiest little cunt ever. So anyways, i'm talking to her all nice and what not, because truth be told, i was an empathetic youngin with a rat tail and racing stripe hair cut, and didn't want her to feel bad that she was an ugly midget who had a twin brother who was taller than her. So we start playing with my matchbox car and talking about Punky Brewster. I told her that I thought Cherry was cute, and this little cunt said "no way, she's black." So i told her to give me my car back. She threw it at my face, then with her disgusting uncut finger nails slashed across my young white chest, tearing my white tshirt and leaving gouges that hurt for days. I had to tell my friends the next day that i got scratched by a midget. Now, well, i saw her a few years ago at 7-11, bitch has kids and was buying one of those fake roses in the glass tube that crackheads always scoop up. Shit was fucked up.

When i was 15, i was banging my girlfriend her in bedroom. Her parents, stupidly, allowed us to keep the door closed all the time. So we're going at it right on her bed in the middle of the day, waiting to eat supper. We're not fully unclothed, you know how it is when youre a youngin going for the quickness, pants around the knees and ankles are perfect. So anyways, i'm in the height of my teenage thrust of lust and as my bum is in the air, ready to spear her supple, young vag, her 11 year old sister walks into the bedroom and screams "GROSS!" and runs outta the room crying. I rolled of the bed and my girlfriend starting crying and freaking out. Her mom came to the room and slapped her. I then had to sit down with her parents and "explain" myself. Then, they gave me a ride to my parents house and made me talk with them..... I stuck to my story that i was just fingering her though, somehow, someway, i pulled it off. But, we were never allowed to close the door again.
[close]
Obviously it is scary at the time, but explain yourself? You should have told them about the birds and the bees, and explained that you knew they understood, otherwise they wouldn't even have a daughter to defile.


hahahah. in hindsight sure, that would've been great. But at just barely 15 i was a pretty respectful kid to this girls parents cause they were super cool to me. Her mom used to stock up the fridge with Mountain Dew and Funny Bones for me, let me sleep over, picked up my skaterat stoner friends for me, you know, it was a good situation. I was embarrased as fuck really.

One time though, her mom was driving me home and the girl, her name was kristen, had been giving me shit about one of my buddies. I was ripshit. So we're arguing in the backseat of the car and her mom decides to interject and tell me to relax. I ignored her that i wouldn't yell at her, again trying to be as respectful as i thought i could be. The fucking lady jumps in again, and again. I finally just yelled out loud "LINDA! stop the fucking car i'm walking back to my house, now!" She refused and kept driving. I yelled this for the remainder of the ride home. Kristen started crying as i'm getting angrier, but the little cunt shouldn't have started talking shit about frankie and skating. Haha, the best part is that i did feel bad about yelling at her mom, BUT, the next time i saw her mom, she apologized to me for butting into my argument. Shit was tight.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #58 on: September 01, 2009, 11:26:59 PM »
I think we've all ahd moms complain about us taking hour long showers.

haha the story of my early masturbation years.

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Re: Awkward moments from your youth.
« Reply #59 on: September 01, 2009, 11:59:22 PM »
First off, I'd just like to state that this thread, the "shitty boyfriend thread", and many others on Whatever are just fucking awesome. I don't even go to Useless Wooden Toy Banter anymore, I just keep going to Whatever and reading all the hilarious stories that you guys have been posting. I'm fucking dying at the shit you guys have been writing. I'm going to try to contribute to this thread, but anything I post is nowhere near as sick as the rest of this thread.

One day at lunch in 8th grade, I was sitting around with my friends like usual. Then I felt a fart coming on. So I tilt to the side, and let this loud ass fart ricochet off the cafeteria table. It was so fucking loud, it was hilarious. Then, I felt like I had one more in me. So once again, I tilt to the side, and I let out...something. It didn't feel like a fart, and it didn't feel like a shit. Perhaps it was a shart. It just felt like nothing, until I got up. That's when I knew that I had clearly just shat in my pants. I only had 1 more class after lunch, so right after lunch I ran into the bathroom. I cleaned most of the shit out of my underwear with paper towels. I think I may have taken the underwear off and just free balled it, i can't remember. Then, for some reason, I thought it would be a great idea if I just stuffed my underwear or pants with paper towels, just in case I had to shit again. I went to Math with my pants fucking stuffed with paper towels. I knew I had to smell. I always wondered if people knew. 

I also shit my pants my Junior year of High School. That's pretty fucking embarassing. I think I was having weird gas and farts that whole day, and then I just started getting really bad prairie dogs. I got back to class, and at this point my shit is letting me know that I need to fucking go. So I get my book for my teacher to sign so I can go to the bathroom, and it was too late. I just fucking shat my pants. Again. I couldn't even try and hold it in. The shit had the upper hand and just forced its way out. So even though my shit was already done, I left and ran to the bathroom. Shit was everywhere. It was so bad that I just decided to remove my underwear and I threw them in the trash. Somehow, my best friend knew what happened. I guess he could smell me.

I'll post more stories when I can think of them. I truly have awkward moments every day of my life.
« Last Edit: September 02, 2009, 12:03:33 AM by Miadaskate »