Author Topic: ZOOEY DESCHANEL  (Read 5759 times)

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kilgore.

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ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« on: September 21, 2009, 04:58:17 PM »
Zooey Deschanel is married now, guys. goodbye girl, goodbye. i know you too well, and you will not cheat on your husband. when he was your boyfriend there was nothing a hundred dollars wouldn't do to get you to pleasure me in the backseat of your prius.  :-\ :( :'(.

and to top it off, you know who she got married to? BEN FUCKIN' GIBBARD. AKA the lead singer of Death Cab For Cutie. Zooey Gibbard? i can't even jack off to a name like that? now i gotta picture a ring on her finger and some fat boy with hair parted in the middle fuckin' her to Transatlanticism, all the while makin' love to her ear drums? the fuck kinda year has this been? no swayze? no mj? a married zooey? the fuck?








No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

stabbin

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2009, 04:59:09 PM »
It's a SAD SAD day.  :'(

RightCoastBiased

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2009, 05:02:19 PM »
Fuck.

CeeyMar

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2009, 05:05:21 PM »
My heart....

Cthulhu!

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2009, 05:05:51 PM »
WHAT!?

1992

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2009, 05:07:45 PM »
Well shiiiiit.

thieveslikeus

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2009, 05:17:33 PM »
i'm down for both. gibbard is a great songsmith (fuck it, i'm pussy enough to even have liked death cab when it was on the O.C.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNqQC7R_Me4

SleepyPeePee

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2009, 05:17:37 PM »
yeah 09' has been one huge bummer.
i've never seen that dude before in my life but he looks like a big tool.


would you rather hear "woo" from the omar salazar pack? i wouldn't. their "yeahs" are genuine, and cool. "yeah" has been the battle cry of skaters for as long as i can remember.

jack burton

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2009, 05:21:46 PM »
as much as i dont want to i gotta give it up to ben. he has some thing that we dont. a rare gem named zooey.

kilgore.

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2009, 05:22:36 PM »
i'm down for both. gibbard is a great songsmith (fuck it, i'm pussy enough to even have liked death cab when it was on the O.C.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNqQC7R_Me4

an O.C reference, "down for" ben gibbard, "gibbard is great", AND you are okay with this marriage. you are definitely on some yes homo shit.
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

thieveslikeus

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2009, 05:47:45 PM »
she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo

stabbin

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2009, 05:50:06 PM »
she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo
you're a terrible person.

kilgore.

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2009, 05:50:55 PM »
she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo
i'm sorry, but bitches don't do any acting when i fuck them, so her acting is irrelevant to me.
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

thieveslikeus

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #13 on: September 21, 2009, 05:59:21 PM »
Expand Quote
she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo
[close]
i'm sorry, but bitches don't do any acting when i fuck them, so her acting is irrelevant to me.
the fucking thing is a given. of course i (or anyone with a dick for that matter) would. does that mean she's some wonderful indie goddess waiting on bare knees to share a glass of wine with you near the fire while leonard cohen plays? no
zooeys face with sasha greys fucking skills and personality = winner


kilgore.

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #14 on: September 21, 2009, 06:05:49 PM »
you sound like you rather jack off to a porn of her and gibbard instead of fucking her yourself.
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

thieveslikeus

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2009, 06:16:11 PM »
you sound like you rather jack off to a porn of her and gibbard instead of fucking her yourself.
haha, absolutely not. that would be quite a feat. after plowing her she'd never get herself involved in a movie like 500 days of summer ever again

CigaretteBeer

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2009, 06:22:45 PM »
You can still rape someone if they're married
"You were such a shitty parent that your kid couldn't even make it to term A guy who killed his child before it could be born because he was so shitty didn't do anything wrong.You know how the rest of us became positive members of society BY NOT BEING PIECES OF SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE"-Ronald Reagon

Pelican

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #17 on: September 21, 2009, 06:24:22 PM »
ben gibbard looks like someone that puts household objects into his anus

McCly

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2009, 06:33:54 PM »
she's ok.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2009, 07:02:14 PM »
Don't fret! It was a long shot either way, and considering the fact that none of you seem to like her man, this will simply make your inevitable slaying of Zooey that much more epic. Oh the stories you'll tell!
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

thieveslikeus

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2009, 07:06:41 PM »
Don't fret! It was a long shot either way, and considering the fact that none of you seem to like her man, this will simply make your inevitable slaying of Zooey that much more epic. Oh the stories you'll tell!

SFblah

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2009, 08:32:13 PM »
ben gibbard looks like someone that puts household objects into his anus

I chuckled  :)


she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo

These are both true statements.  Actually they are facts.


Nic

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #22 on: September 21, 2009, 09:43:49 PM »
Celebrity marriages never last. I still might have a chance.

Nancy Chin The Manicurist

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #23 on: September 21, 2009, 09:47:28 PM »


she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo

These are both true statements.  Actually they are facts.


[/quote]

Sad, but true. Though she was pretty adequete in "All the Real Girls."



Des Esseintes

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #24 on: September 21, 2009, 09:52:55 PM »
What are you guys complaining about?

Just 'cos she's married doesn't mean she ain't down to fuck other dudes.

Keep the dream alive.

snickers

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2009, 11:28:30 PM »
Expand Quote
she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo
[close]
i'm sorry, but bitches don't do any acting when i fuck them, so her acting is irrelevant to me.
sig'd
fatcockXL deserves to be mod on the strength of his name alone

Goblinshark

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #26 on: September 22, 2009, 04:33:06 AM »
The only reason I kept watching Weeds when she was on was based on the prayer we'd see some skin, but no its all old people tittys (although mary louise parker sure looks good for someone over 45)
Stephen Alcala: chris cole anit a loser
Stephen Alcala: frank grewer is an alcholic
Stephen Alcala: LOSER

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #27 on: September 22, 2009, 04:43:34 AM »
she sux at skating
ONTARIO CANADA

seagle

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #28 on: September 22, 2009, 05:10:48 AM »
ease in slightly and whisper in her ear "lets not turn this rape into a murder"

EricLogan

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Re: ZOOEY DESCHANEL
« Reply #29 on: September 22, 2009, 05:46:09 AM »


Expand Quote
she's gorgeous and sucks at acting. gibbard is actually talented. put them together and you'll have some amazing babies. yes homo
[close]

These are both true statements.  Actually they are facts.



thank god you guys agree with me

is it homo to like her music more than her acting? if so, throw the book at me, dan-o
I rarely venture into classic slap and the one time I do it I find a guy getting his dick eaten by a dolphin.