Author Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences  (Read 298209 times)

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odp

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #60 on: February 23, 2010, 10:35:55 AM »
So basically I'm scared shitless of ever busting inside a girl ever again.  I mean I bought her the Plan B pill...which obviously worked cause she's not pregnant.  But no way I'm ever busting a nut in her anytime soon.

the abortion pill saves lives, homie. plan B is a good thing.

rawbertson.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #61 on: February 23, 2010, 10:46:33 AM »
I was once really wasted fuckin a girl and I was on top and had my hands planted firmly when I felt something crunchy and sticky on my hand. It was a used dried up condom chillin in her bed and I stopped fuckin here and looked at her and put my hand up and slowly peeled it off. "is that yours?" she said. "nope..."

she got all embarrassed but I was drunk so I didn't really care then I nutted inside her

nice


i have a few basically all my shit is awkward

there is 1 time that was so awkward for me i havnt been able to ask this girl out since i just keep bailing on her. shes indian, about 5'2, 90 pounds, so sexy, priya rai basically without fake tits.

i was completely wasted, like 8 beers in 3 hours 5.5%, fooling around with her at a party, like 3 am everyone asleep, she was givin me hj but she had this stupid ring on so it killed, i got her to take it off but my dick was in a ton of pain after that; i asked her if i could fuck her and she sadi i could but i couldnt fit my dick in, my dick probably had gotten soft, then i just kept fingering her for some reason, and eventually she told me to stop. i think the next day i realized i had been fingering her asshole half of the time. it wasnt getting all juicy like normally so that must have been what was going on.

if i could have just got that night to go RIGHT my life would be that much better right now! fuck!! i like her a lot too thats the sad thing... she is into skateboarding on a fan level (she could appreciate a ksate video) and likes cool music and scary movies.

another story fisrt time i ever had sex was with this friend of a friend of a friend i met at a bar she was fat had big tits walked like 10 miles to her house with no coat and snowing, she almost said she woulndt do it but she jumped on my dick anyway, then got off put on a condom then she wanted me to do her missionary and i lifted her legs up to go ddeeep she got mad and said "it cant be like a porno the first time", girls are weird. anyway the akwward part the next day i fucked her again in the AM and she went out and talked to her roommate i could hear her whispering to her hipster room mate and they both sounded the same one of them said "it was the most awkward sex ive ever had" but im pretty sure itw as the room mate talking, but i dont know i felt weird after. i tried to go bak to fuck her once when she was wasted but she just passed out and i puked smelling her breath and jetted.

i woke up in the next room to a friend fcking it wasnt that bad i should have joined in but i heard her say "go deep" andi  laughed

but awkward, my cousins were all staying at my other cousins' house and so like 10 ppl had to sleep in the family room in the basement, my one slutty cousin julie had her boyfriend and she was fuckinjg him in there and i heard him say something like "i cant theres too many people in here" so they went into the bathroom and finished i suppose. it was fucked i told my cousins about it a few years later and they were pretty pissed off at her.


another one i had this girlfriend and i fucked her in my friend's house she sucekd my dick first night i met her some druink dude walked in but she didnt care neither did i but we were dyin to fuck ever since that so liek 2 weeks later we finally get to the bar and are just dyin to bone the entire night we left after like half hour without my friends i bring her into the spare bedroom thers just like a ghetto mattress on the floor and she says she is startin on the pill but not yet so i put on the condom, good choice,

because i start ploughing the shit out of her like never before cause i am drunk too; if you get the perfect mix of beers it is really a thing of beauty. that must be how porn stars do it. anyway i am going for like 10 minutes on this girl and not feeling like i am going to lose my boner at all and i finally bust all in her mouth... except when i pulled out (didnt realize tl after i blew in her mouth) her pussy just puked up a fucking pint of blood. it soaked in to the matress DEEP and we threw out the mattress, sheets, and all next day.

bahahhaaa rawb your full of shit but that was a good read anyways.


dude not one word of a lie i swear to fuck its all true man i wouldnt make this shit up


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jack burton

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #62 on: February 23, 2010, 10:57:56 AM »
So basically I'm scared shitless of ever busting inside a girl ever again.  I mean I bought her the Plan B pill...which obviously worked cause she's not pregnant.  But no way I'm ever busting a nut in her anytime soon.

the abortion pill saves lives, homie. plan B is a good thing.

money well spent.

rawbertson.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #63 on: February 23, 2010, 12:40:38 PM »
So basically I'm scared shitless of ever busting inside a girl ever again.  I mean I bought her the Plan B pill...which obviously worked cause she's not pregnant.  But no way I'm ever busting a nut in her anytime soon.

the abortion pill saves lives, homie. plan B is a good thing.

yeah my ex girlfriend after we broke up i was jonsing i called her up at least 3 seperate times and we fcuked.... she was tellin me to bust inside her, but i pulled out anyway just because we were broke up, and then after she says" well its probably godo you did that anyway cause i think i fucked up one of my pills". what a dumb ass.
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Donkey Lips

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #64 on: February 23, 2010, 01:34:23 PM »
So basically I'm scared shitless of ever busting inside a girl ever again.  I mean I bought her the Plan B pill...which obviously worked cause she's not pregnant.  But no way I'm ever busting a nut in her anytime soon.
the abortion pill saves lives, homie. plan B is a good thing.
yeah my ex girlfriend after we broke up i was jonsing i called her up at least 3 seperate times and we fcuked.... she was tellin me to bust inside her, but i pulled out anyway just because we were broke up, and then after she says" well its probably godo you did that anyway cause i think i fucked up one of my pills". what a dumb ass.
see, she was trying to get you back and lock you down on a permanent basis.

oyolar

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #65 on: February 23, 2010, 03:32:24 PM »
Ok...this story isn't so much awkward as just fucking scary.  I'm with my first somewhat long term girlfriend right now...and we fuck ALOT...so I'm ultra paranoid about knocking her up.  Back in the summer time I was telling one of my best friends that I wouldn't even blow a load in my gf even with a condom on.  He couldn't believe I was so paranoid and basically told to stop being so scared. 

So less than 24 hours later, I'm boning my lady from behind, and all the sudden it just feels FUCKING AMAZING!!  Now this is back when were first together and I hadn't really had sex that much.  I could tell I was getting close to busting a nut and was about to pull out.  But then I remembered my conversation with my friend the night before.  I was like "Fuck it...I'm wearing a condom" and just blew my load.  I pull out and the condom is fucking torn to shreds.  Begin hyperventilation.  I just busted a full load into a fertile 19 year old girl.  Not stoked!!!

So basically I'm scared shitless of ever busting inside a girl ever again.  I mean I bought her the Plan B pill...which obviously worked cause she's not pregnant.  But no way I'm ever busting a nut in her anytime soon.

My one ex used to be super paranoid that whenever we would fuck that the condom would break. It never did but every time after we were done she would talk about how she thought it did and stuff. And every once in a while she would buy the Plan B pill just in case. But what makes it weird is she liked how it felt when I busted inside of her (wearing a condom), so she never wanted me to pull out even though I would have been fine doing it and whenever her doctor put her on the pill (she had this hormone thing so she couldn't be on it all the time), she'd want to fuck without a condom on, even going as far as pulling me out of her, taking it off, resuming the sexy time, and then having me put on a new one when I was going to cum. She was a very odd girl...

Watson

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #66 on: February 23, 2010, 04:15:50 PM »
Pfffft bunch a pussies. Come on Jeremy. No busting in a girl even WITH a condom?! Ridiculous. I fucking hate pulling out. Why fuck if I'm just gonna pull out and jerk off last minute? Cumming inside a girl is literally what we were born for. That's what your entire evolutionary path has led you to. I refuse to pull out and cum on evolution's face!

So basically I'm scared shitless of ever busting inside a girl ever again.  I mean I bought her the Plan B pill...which obviously worked cause she's not pregnant.  But no way I'm ever busting a nut in her anytime soon.
the abortion pill saves lives, homie. plan B is a good thing.
yeah my ex girlfriend after we broke up i was jonsing i called her up at least 3 seperate times and we fcuked.... she was tellin me to bust inside her, but i pulled out anyway just because we were broke up, and then after she says" well its probably godo you did that anyway cause i think i fucked up one of my pills". what a dumb ass.
see, she was trying to get you back and lock you down on a permanent basis.

Yeah cause Rawb is such a great catch. A real reliable father-type.

one time she yelled "JUST COME IN ME ALREADY" i promptly pulled out, put my boxers and shorts back on, walked out and slept in the living room. was just really weird to be demanded of my come. her and i never spoke again after the next day haha.

Man none of those really seem awkward to me. Especially the last one. I suppose it would be when you're 17. But now, hoo boy I tell ya. That's some hot shit. Go with it homey.
What!! making eye contact with your bestfriend's girl while shes taking baby gravy on the tongue is super awkward!

Wouldn't be awkward until I pulled my dick out and started wanking while watching it.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2010, 04:18:58 PM by Wilson »

odp

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #67 on: February 23, 2010, 04:22:32 PM »
man, i'm pretty paranoid these days... there were so many drunk nights where girls said i could nut inside the treasure chest that i just said fuck it and went for the gold. this one girl told that she couldn't get prego due to some ovarian problems and that i could blast inside, so as i was fucking her i made the choice to do so. she was talking dirty and what not, really trying to get me to come. as i was getting there, i said "well, listen, in case you are lying to me and get pregnant i want you to know that i'm a travel agent. do you see those stairs over there? (we were on the couch in my parents basement), i will send you on quick trip down them." what a foolish choice...

now, i don't get down with any skanks. i can only imagine how horrible it would be to knock up some girl who you couldn't stand and simply banged to get a nut off, only to get her prego and havce to deal with her in some capacity for the rest of your life. ugh, fuck! no thanks.

LloydChristmas

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #68 on: February 23, 2010, 05:11:05 PM »
Yeah cause Rawb is such a great catch. A real reliable father-type.

hahahaha. 

agreed on the evolution thing, can't remember the last time used/purchased a condom, i don't even know how much $ they go for nowadays.  if she's on the pill, that's all you need to know...go crazy. 

let's keep this thread going...

accidentally stuck it in the back door of some chick i met that night, but that's not the awkward part.  i guess her ass had been seshed so much that i couldn't initially tell the difference between the two points of entry.  after discovering this fact and realizing the situation, you better believe i promptly soaked my dick in ivory liquid (after all was said and done, of course).

lurk daddy

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #69 on: February 23, 2010, 05:58:19 PM »
ive never used a condom beforre
IF YOU HAVE SEX ONCE, YOU GET HERPES. IF YOU DO COKE ONCE, YOU DIE AND LOSE YOUR JOB.

nocomply

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #70 on: February 23, 2010, 06:16:33 PM »
in high school I walked in on my mom boning her boyfriend on my bed. I was so pissed that I left the house for two days. I demanded clean sheets on my bed before I would come back. That was an awkward conversation.

I once got involved in a threesome. I was 14 at the time and my friend brought over this 21 year old girl who bought us booze. We got wasted and my friend passed out. I start fucking her. My friend wakes up, drops his pant and starts face fucking her, basically leaving me to stare at his ass bobbing up and down. I remember wispering to him, "dude get the fuck out of here, get your ass out of my face" hahaha... he, of course, ignored me. Finally she threw him off her, I busted, then he went in for sloppy seconds and got denied. For some reason she didn't want to fuck him. I was glad too because I was pissed at him for putting his ass in my face.

My house is only a few years old. Last spring it settled and shifted a little and as a result a few of the doors would not latch so we could not lock our bedroom door. My daughter walked in on my wife and I. She didn't see anything, but by the time my wife put her back to bed and returned to the bedroom.. the mood was a little lost.

frisco

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #71 on: February 23, 2010, 06:29:26 PM »
my very first blowjob I was lying on a bed with my girlfriend doing her thing while my best friend was getting a blowjob from my girlfriends friend, extremely awkward

My science lab partner in the ninth grade walked in on me getting a blowjob from my girlfriend at a party, i brought it up jokingly the next day in class and she was not stoked, i think i walked right out of the class


rawbertson.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #72 on: February 24, 2010, 05:32:15 AM »
man i am a loser i never went to no parties and then went to school the next day in high school. and i definitely never even got laid in high school. all i did was skate and play guitar and video games, and did a LOT of drugs. my mom always fucking made me come home at like 10 pm and then i had to go right to bed.
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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #73 on: February 24, 2010, 06:00:18 AM »
I refuse to pull out and cum on evolution's face!

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #74 on: February 24, 2010, 06:07:34 AM »
One time in high school I was looking for the tape of a video project I did for Spanish class. I thought I left it in the video camera, so I hit play. Man was I wrong. It was a video of my Dad boning my Step mom. Mind you, my dad resembles Bill Clinton and my Step mom resembles Jessica Simpson. It was pretty traumatizing for a while. Better than actually walking in on it though.

Oh, and I never found my Spanish project. I'm guessing they recorded over it.
you some closet dick-in-da-booty ass nigga.


rawbertson.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #75 on: February 24, 2010, 06:12:25 AM »
One time in high school I was looking for the tape of a video project I did for Spanish class. I thought I left it in the video camera, so I hit play. Man was I wrong. It was a video of my Dad boning my Step mom. Mind you, my dad resembles Bill Clinton and my Step mom resembles Jessica Simpson. It was pretty traumatizing for a while. Better than actually walking in on it though.

Oh, and I never found my Spanish project. I'm guessing they recorded over it.

damn. my friend let me borrow his video camera all the time to film skating. once i was watching the footage back and got to the end of the tape and i just saw his girlfriend in the bathtub at the end. my friends were all watching and shit too. i quickly shut it off and they didnt notice, but when they left i checked it out, he got her to get naked and play with her pussy and all this shit. i didnt jerk off to it though i felt like it would have been wrong.
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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #76 on: February 24, 2010, 06:25:46 AM »
having a stepmom that looked like jessica simpson would mean trouble in my world.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #77 on: February 24, 2010, 06:29:57 AM »
having a stepmom that looked like jessica simpson would mean trouble in my world.

Tell me about it... there were several times where I swear she was hitting on me. She even asked me to go out for a drink with her some time. But they're actually getting divorced now so I haven't seen her in a while.
you some closet dick-in-da-booty ass nigga.


everypennyfedcar

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #78 on: February 24, 2010, 06:56:02 AM »
Make a move!
Spray it like a high-rank sniper in the West Bank.

Alan

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #79 on: February 24, 2010, 07:51:24 AM »
ive never used a condom beforre


Don't worry, you'll get laid one day.
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lurk daddy

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #80 on: February 24, 2010, 07:20:38 PM »
ive never used a condom beforre


Don't worry, you'll get laid one day.
And you'll make a funny joke one day.
IF YOU HAVE SEX ONCE, YOU GET HERPES. IF YOU DO COKE ONCE, YOU DIE AND LOSE YOUR JOB.

sven thorkel

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #81 on: February 24, 2010, 07:39:01 PM »
today was his day. alan, from now on you are banned from humor
"Front row tickets to a bomb ass play"

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #82 on: February 24, 2010, 08:09:32 PM »
ive never used a condom beforre


Don't worry, you'll get laid one day.

gnar'd!

i was thinkin the same thing

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #83 on: February 24, 2010, 08:13:33 PM »
Make a move!

and then post the details here
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lurk daddy

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #84 on: February 24, 2010, 08:16:34 PM »
ive never used a condom beforre


Don't worry, you'll get laid one day.

gnar'd!

i was thinkin the same thing
You fools are so corny its ridiculous.
IF YOU HAVE SEX ONCE, YOU GET HERPES. IF YOU DO COKE ONCE, YOU DIE AND LOSE YOUR JOB.

beardface

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #85 on: February 25, 2010, 01:03:20 PM »
Cumming inside a girl is literally what we were born for. That's what your entire evolutionary path has led you to. I refuse to pull out and cum on evolution's face!
wisdom.
She can't complain about it being gross- she's shooting pussy juice at your face.

raul

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #86 on: February 25, 2010, 06:13:11 PM »
The second time I got beejed up also coincides with the first & only time I've ever sharted. I was hanging around Brigham Circle in Mission Hill one night with a bunch of my friends. Some wasted asian chick is yelling for her friend and we start talking to her. I couldn't tell she was drunk, she seemed pretty aware of everything & walking alright, and I thought she was pretty cute. She tags along with us for a half hour or so, and then everyone plans on running away from her because she was annoying the piss out of them; I still thought she was cute so I stuck around. My friends yelled back "Mack harder!" & I proceeded as such.

I ended up walking her back to her dorm in Northeastern, she signed me in and we sat on her bed listening to music. We end up making out and that's when I first realized how wasted she was--her vodka breath made my stomach uneasy. She takes off her top & she's got a good going on. About 5'2", B cup, soft skin, first asian--I was into it. Then she started giving me a HJ & I think she was under the impression that if she didn't keep her speed above 55MPH that my penis would explode. It hurt so much but I suffered through it. She wanted to bone, but this was when I was still a virgin and under the hallucination that I wanted to at least lose it to someone I loved--so I turned her down.

She then went down on me for about 30 seconds and it was a glorious spectacle. Little asian girl with a small mouth with plump lips and tiny hands--it was beautiful. But then she stopped and kept asking to bone. I convinced her finally that because she was way too drunk & I wasn't, it'd be a bad choice. I left about an hour later, and she wrote down her number & email. On the walk back I realize my ass is really chaffed. Unbearably chaffed. I check it out once I get back to my friend's, and I see a shit stain on my underwear. Then a flashback reel played back to me--I had chinese food that night, I remember letting off a wet fart before going to that girl's dorm, and I also remember her pulling down my pants while I laid on her white sheets. I laughed at my misfortune, but I wasn't planning on calling her anyway. Now sometimes I wonder if she stopped going down on me because it smelled rank or because she was fluffing me.
« Last Edit: February 25, 2010, 06:15:02 PM by raul »

blAck AddEr

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #87 on: February 25, 2010, 10:14:56 PM »
She wanted to bone, but this was when I was still a virgin and under the hallucination that I wanted to at least lose it to someone I loved--so I turned her down.
glad i got over that...
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Bipsmound

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #88 on: February 25, 2010, 11:10:33 PM »
I don't think copping some dome off a drunken lady of the evening really counts as "saving yourself".  We're just talking about different holes here.  Perhaps you had some kind of male hymen that you wanted to keep in tact.  Only peel back the ol' foreskin for the wife, eh?  She's in for a cottage cheese surprise. 

raul

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #89 on: February 25, 2010, 11:44:30 PM »
I don't think copping some dome off a drunken lady of the evening really counts as "saving yourself".  We're just talking about different holes here.  Perhaps you had some kind of male hymen that you wanted to keep in tact.  Only peel back the ol' foreskin for the wife, eh?  She's in for a cottage cheese surprise. 

Like I said, I was naive to sex. And I'm no hood rat, army helmet all the way.