Author Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences  (Read 298714 times)

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jeremyrandall

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Awkward Sexual Experiences
« on: February 21, 2010, 12:28:53 PM »
I don't know if any of you noticed drunk's posts this morning concerning roommates having very noisy sex in close proximity to him, but they got me thinking.  I'm sure there are TONS of good stories out there.  Whether you were the one involved, or you were just in the next room listening in, post em here.


Here's one of mine:

January 2009, just a couple weeks before I went to Australia, everyone from my job all went out one friday night.  One of the girls at our job (who was pretty fucking hot) worked as a bartender at night, and told us all to come to her bar and she could get us all cheap drinks.  She also said we could all crash at her place that night if we didn't wanna drive home.  And she also said she'd try to get some of her slutty friends to come along.

So long story short...we went out, got fucking smashed.  I was pretty much a lightweight before my trip to Australia...so after almost passing out at the bar, I went back to her place and crashed on the couch in her basement immediately.

I'm not sure how long later...could have been an hour...could have been longer...I woke up to my friend's voice.  I was pretty fucked...but slowly I realized he was talking super dirty and I could hear alot of slurping noises.  I quickly realized my friend from work was getting a blowjob from some slutty bitch about 5 feet away from my face.  I had two choices: 1. get up and leave the room really fast...or 2. pretend I was still sleeping and hope he finished quick.  I went with 2. WRONG FUCKING CHOICE!!  We were all super wasted...and obviously it was taking him a looooooong time.  I swear it went on for like 15 minutes.  And he was saying the dirtiest shit to her...like "Suck on that cock, bitch.  You're a dirty little slut." and shit like that.  AWWWWWKWAAAAARD!!

So yeah...I actually never saw that guy again.  The backstory was the he actually had a girlfriend and she just happened to be out of town that weekend.  I'm not sure if she ever found out...but everyone at work knew about it and he skipped the whole next week of work for some reason.  Which was my last week since I took off for Australia soon after.


So yeah...drunk...tell us more about your morning.

Laban Fetus

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2010, 01:01:44 PM »
cool story bro

jimi420

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2010, 01:04:29 PM »
one time when i was 16 i was at this girls house and she was sucking my dick when all of a sudden the door busts open and it's her 3 year old nephew. if that wasn't enough her racist brother and father just so happened to come home at that exact moment and see my dick in her mouth. i had to jump out her window and skate away as fast as i could with her Pops hard on my heels. i got away. and went back and finished the next day.

tough omelette

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2010, 01:07:15 PM »
kimberlykiss.com

ryanage

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2010, 01:37:57 PM »
lost my virginity in a threesome.
lots of sex at church camp (thank you, purity ring!)


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barrierkultt

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2010, 01:41:35 PM »
Most of my sexual experiences have been akward.

Gorilla Flip

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2010, 03:02:05 PM »
lost my virginity in a threesome.
lots of sex at church camp (thank you, purity ring!)

I wish my childhood would have been half as exciting.

ahl33

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2010, 03:29:50 PM »

raul

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2010, 03:36:48 PM »
Most of my sexual experiences have been akward.

Same, but I'll start with one of my first ones. This one's pretty embarrassing looking back but hopefully some of you get a laugh. I had drunk texted an ex of mine close to four years ago, I think I was trying to get back some clothes I had left about 6 months prior, and I remember her asking why I was texting her and I told her, "Why else? I'm drunk." A day or so later we meet up so I can get those clothes, we hang out for a bit and I jokingly made a move on her to get some laughs, then she starts making out with me. Worked for me. Later that night I go to pick her up and we go to the cemetery and make out in the backseat. This is the same girl who had the crazy, gaping Star Wars vagina. She starts to go down on me and it's my first blowjob so I was super, super excited.

It's going great, best feeling ever. But I keep getting these pinching sensations on the tip of my dick; it's unbearable. I don't know what it is, but she takes a break and I find out--she had braces, and the rubber bands in the back of her mouth kept clipping on my tip. I told her about it and asked her if she could take them out, but she either ignored me or didn't think it was that serious. She kept going for a while and I started to feel really bad because she was getting tired and it was fine besides the damn pinching. I figured it'd just be a good idea to fake it. So I told her I needed to come, pretended to go into a napkin, & tossed it before she saw it. She was so proud of herself because she'd never made a dude come that way before. I gave her a second try but it was even worse the next time. She never found out, and she got her braces out a few months later but I refused to speak to her.

Nic

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2010, 04:27:56 PM »
About 2 years ago I went up to my friends house to see if he wanted to skate and I walk into his room and it was him with his girlfriend, her sister, and her boyfriend all on his bed under a blanket. The two girls were laying on the bed side by side and the guys were near the feet of the bed, I knew something was weird so I left. I asked him later what was going on and he told me they both were eating out the girls. He also told me the other guy kept looking over at him from time to time and making eye contact so he put up a pillow between them.

I also have been caught a few times masturbating by several different girlfriends.

Boomhauer

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2010, 05:26:05 PM »
My parents invited some friends to stay over at our house. It was a big family and they had a hot daughter. I boned her in the living room on the couch at night where she had to sleep. Pretty awesome since my house isn't that big and her big ol' dad and buff-ass brother could've walked out of their guest rooms take like 10 steps and catch us. They slept over several occasions so I boned her several times. One time her dad went to go piss in the bathroom that was right next to living room so I slid off the couch fast as fuck and hid under the coffee table.

Donkey Lips

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2010, 05:33:57 PM »
had a girl at a party ask if she could watch me and my gf. i thought this was code for "i wanna have a three way" so i'm hyped. basically she just sat in the backseat of my car watching my ex girlfriend blow me.  you'd think this would be cool but it was pretty strange.
had a time where i was walking home from a party my freshman year. while walking home i'm passing by this sorority and infront of the living room window there's a chick on her knees with a dude whacking his dick against her face while a ton of people are surrounding the room cheering. like something out of a website.

i've woken up next to multiple people boning and i always run for it. i don't want anything sprayed on me.

Bobbito

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2010, 06:23:17 PM »
My parents invited some friends to stay over at our house. It was a big family and they had a hot daughter. I boned her in the living room on the couch at night where she had to sleep. Pretty awesome since my house isn't that big and her big ol' dad and buff-ass brother could've walked out of their guest rooms take like 10 steps and catch us. They slept over several occasions so I boned her several times. One time her dad went to go piss in the bathroom that was right next to living room so I slid off the couch fast as fuck and hid under the coffee table.
I was once in a similar situation. Long story short, I never got to fuck her because our parents stopped visiting each other almost completely and at the time she was wicked prude anyways being a fucking catholic school girl but actually believing in god and saving yourself. Worst part is she called me the morning after she lost her virginity...Man, this bitch was brain dead to the point where she saw nothing wrong with telling me such info.

Stoeipoes

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2010, 06:24:59 PM »
the older sister of my recent girlfriend walked in my girl's room to get something, but I was still a bit sleepy and I thought it was my girlfriend. she frozed when she saw me lying there naked in bed.
Bitches call me pussy, the horse filler.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2010, 06:31:56 PM »
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

ryanage

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2010, 07:15:25 PM »


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j0rdan

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #16 on: February 21, 2010, 07:24:51 PM »
in eleventh grade I crashed at some chick's house, it was my friend, me, and some broad laying side by side in a big ass futon bed. I thought my friend was asleep so I started fooling around with this girl, and just as she started to go down on me I looked to the side and caught my friend looking at me, then he looked away real quick. I burst out laughing and needless to say me and the girl stopped fooling around. he wasn't gay or anything, but I told our good mutual friends the story and we laughed about it for like the next month

LloydChristmas

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #17 on: February 21, 2010, 09:10:43 PM »
in eleventh grade I crashed at some chick's house, it was my friend, me, and some broad laying side by side in a big ass futon bed. I thought my friend was asleep so I started fooling around with this girl, and just as she started to go down on me I looked to the side and caught my friend looking at me, then he looked away real quick. I burst out laughing and needless to say me and the girl stopped fooling around. he wasn't gay or anything, but I told our good mutual friends the story and we laughed about it for like the next month
hahahaha.  when it ends with laughter it makes it that much funnier.

one i can think of wasn't that bad, but-

 i got invited to party and happened to run into a girl i work with.  it was an indoor/outdoor party with a hot tub there.  long story short, at the very end of the night before i went inside to pass out, i went outside to find my shoes or something when i see the chick from my work taking it from behind in the hot tub, and we made eye contact.  they were too drunk to stop or anything, so I just casually got my shoes that were right next to the hot tub...talk about awkward.  needless to say, interactions at work after that were awkward as hell.  luckily i was a cook and she was a waitress so I didn't have to interact with her too much.  

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #18 on: February 21, 2010, 09:23:44 PM »
i shared a master bedroom with my roommate.  my bed was on one side, his on the other.  i was sleeping, and he and his gf didnt see me there and they started to have sex.  i woke up and i heard them.  i didnt know what to do so i just layed there.  but i didnt know they would be having sex for about an hour, and i couldnt fall asleep.  his girl said, "Stick it in my ass!"  and he said "i dont have any lube babe!" in such a pissed off voice.  i never fell asleep, and after they were done, they saw me and were like "hes been here the whole time!" but i never moved a muscle.

my girlfriend at the time was riding me on top.  i wasnt wearing a condom and i told her when i was about to bust and she jumped off.  i accidentally busted all over my chest and stomach and it was disgusting.  she yelled "i got some on me!" and i said " You, what about Me?"  and i put on a shirt over the cum and walked out of the room, walked past my roommates and some friends to the bathroom to wash my self off. 

tropicks

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #19 on: February 21, 2010, 10:53:50 PM »
fr chrissakes, you guys need to LOOSEN UP re:
- a girlfriend 'catching' you masturbate
- getting your own cum on yourself
- getting cum on a girlfriend
- seeing friends have sex, especially briefly/accidently
- any and all male-female buttplay (absolutely no disrespect to my gays, but i specify as i assume i'm partially addressing an already somewhat uptight assemblage of breeding types)

it's occurred to me that i may in fact be speaking to a younger audience, but these are pretty tip-of-the-iceberg scenarios. the sooner: the better; you'll thank me down the road. sex really is the only thing that life is about, and it's taken hundreds of years to even partially jizz acid on the shackles that organized religion and patriarchal societies placed on sex for just about always. two hundred years ago some of you very dudes might have shot down a blowjob for it's confusing kinkiness and burned the righteous babe at town square as a wyckyd wytch.

i don't mean to sound like some self-appointed sexual guru or renegade, but i do try to at least wring out the pleasure and really get something from the sex that i do have. maybe i'll get people to dislike Shitty Skateboarding and better appreciate Good Skateboarding, but, if i can get some of my fellow 'boarders to enrich their lives and leave the bedrooms and bathroom styles of our world THAT MUCH more doused in cum, blood, spit, and piss, i can die with a smile/boner.

read: anais nin, henry miller, d.h. lawrence, aleister crowley, marquis de sade (in a certain light), etc

weedpop

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #20 on: February 21, 2010, 11:45:45 PM »


Never before (or since) have I gotten so many hard-ons from a book.

oyolar

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #21 on: February 22, 2010, 01:32:33 AM »
fr chrissakes, you guys need to LOOSEN UP re:
- a girlfriend 'catching' you masturbate
- getting your own cum on yourself
- getting cum on a girlfriend
- seeing friends have sex, especially briefly/accidently
- any and all male-female buttplay (absolutely no disrespect to my gays, but i specify as i assume i'm partially addressing an already somewhat uptight assemblage of breeding types)

it's occurred to me that i may in fact be speaking to a younger audience, but these are pretty tip-of-the-iceberg scenarios. the sooner: the better; you'll thank me down the road. sex really is the only thing that life is about, and it's taken hundreds of years to even partially jizz acid on the shackles that organized religion and patriarchal societies placed on sex for just about always. two hundred years ago some of you very dudes might have shot down a blowjob for it's confusing kinkiness and burned the righteous babe at town square as a wyckyd wytch.

i don't mean to sound like some self-appointed sexual guru or renegade, but i do try to at least wring out the pleasure and really get something from the sex that i do have. maybe i'll get people to dislike Shitty Skateboarding and better appreciate Good Skateboarding, but, if i can get some of my fellow 'boarders to enrich their lives and leave the bedrooms and bathroom styles of our world THAT MUCH more doused in cum, blood, spit, and piss, i can die with a smile/boner.

read: anais nin, henry miller, d.h. lawrence, aleister crowley, marquis de sade (in a certain light), etc

Wow dude. Way to kill a funny thread. This was not a debate about the current state of sexual taboos and kudos for all your assorted paraphilias, but instead sexual situations that were awkward. Feeling awkward does not imply any kind of prudeness. And these may be "tip-of-the-iceberg" scenarios for you, but not everyone will feel comfortable in these situations or any other ones that you have no problem with

And there's really no need to place "(in a certain light)" for de Sade. There's no "certain light" that you need to read him in because if you can't at least guess his libertine messages from his writings, an important aspect of which is that not everyone will feel comfortable with or enjoy certain acts, then you're not actually reading the man. If you want to discuss his works further, feel free to PM me.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #22 on: February 22, 2010, 03:14:03 AM »
lost my virginity in a threesome.


to both of you, which kind?

not the prime kind, i'll tell you that much.

uh ohhhhh the dreaded devils three way.  no worries man, i did this in my younger day as well.  as for most awkward, im going to have to go with the gay couple who used to live in the apartment next to mine.  they were cool and dainty during the day, but as shitty luck would have it, their bedroom was on the other side from mine.  i never thought i would hear gay dudes grunt so manly and or squeal so girly in my life.  it was weird enough that i moved my bed to the other side of the room and stuck in earplugs. 
Time you enjoyed wasting is never wasted - John Lennon

LloydChristmas

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #23 on: February 22, 2010, 05:11:22 AM »
fr chrissakes, you guys need to LOOSEN UP re:
- a girlfriend 'catching' you masturbate
- getting your own cum on yourself
- getting cum on a girlfriend
- seeing friends have sex, especially briefly/accidently
- any and all male-female buttplay (absolutely no disrespect to my gays, but i specify as i assume i'm partially addressing an already somewhat uptight assemblage of breeding types)
two hundred years ago some of you very dudes might have shot down a blowjob for it's confusing kinkiness and burned the righteous babe at town square as a wyckyd wytch.
read: anais nin, henry miller, d.h. lawrence, aleister crowley, marquis de sade (in a certain light), etc

these are only supposed to be entertaining, nothing more...you need to loosen up. 
"younger audience"....no, these stories are from our younger years, as you'd associate with the word "awkward".

sounds like you could've been hitler in a past life, or a dictator at least.  i have some recommended reading for you too, asshole, it's called the narcissism epidemic by jean twenge.  eat a dick.

rocklobster

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #24 on: February 22, 2010, 06:01:33 AM »
lost my virginity in a threesome.


to both of you, which kind?

not the prime kind, i'll tell you that much.

uh ohhhhh the dreaded devils three way.  no worries man, i did this in my younger day as well.  as for most awkward, im going to have to go with the gay couple who used to live in the apartment next to mine.  they were cool and dainty during the day, but as shitty luck would have it, their bedroom was on the other side from mine.  i never thought i would hear gay dudes grunt so manly and or squeal so girly in my life.  it was weird enough that i moved my bed to the other side of the room and stuck in earplugs. 

made my day....

daddy

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #25 on: February 22, 2010, 10:18:06 AM »
I was once really wasted fuckin a girl and I was on top and had my hands planted firmly when I felt something crunchy and sticky on my hand. It was a used dried up condom chillin in her bed and I stopped fuckin here and looked at her and put my hand up and slowly peeled it off. "is that yours?" she said. "nope..."

she got all embarrassed but I was drunk so I didn't really care then I nutted inside her
"you are one radical son of a bitch"

layzieyez

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #26 on: February 22, 2010, 10:31:45 AM »
fr chrissakes, you guys need to LOOSEN UP re:
- a girlfriend 'catching' you masturbate
- getting your own cum on yourself
- getting cum on a girlfriend
- seeing friends have sex, especially briefly/accidently
- any and all male-female buttplay (absolutely no disrespect to my gays, but i specify as i assume i'm partially addressing an already somewhat uptight assemblage of breeding types)
two hundred years ago some of you very dudes might have shot down a blowjob for it's confusing kinkiness and burned the righteous babe at town square as a wyckyd wytch.
read: anais nin, henry miller, d.h. lawrence, aleister crowley, marquis de sade (in a certain light), etc

these are only supposed to be entertaining, nothing more...you need to loosen up. 
"younger audience"....no, these stories are from our younger years, as you'd associate with the word "awkward".

sounds like you could've been hitler in a past life, or a dictator at least.  i have some recommended reading for you too, asshole, it's called the narcissism epidemic by jean twenge.  eat a dick.
One time, I was jacking it to this Awkward Sexual Experiences thread and this tropicks guy posted and made my dick go soft.
I take everything I said back. The board hit me in the nuts for the first time ever today, because i was wearing these shits.

rawbertson.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #27 on: February 22, 2010, 10:46:53 AM »
I was once really wasted fuckin a girl and I was on top and had my hands planted firmly when I felt something crunchy and sticky on my hand. It was a used dried up condom chillin in her bed and I stopped fuckin here and looked at her and put my hand up and slowly peeled it off. "is that yours?" she said. "nope..."

she got all embarrassed but I was drunk so I didn't really care then I nutted inside her

nice


i have a few basically all my shit is awkward

there is 1 time that was so awkward for me i havnt been able to ask this girl out since i just keep bailing on her. shes indian, about 5'2, 90 pounds, so sexy, priya rai basically without fake tits.

i was completely wasted, like 8 beers in 3 hours 5.5%, fooling around with her at a party, like 3 am everyone asleep, she was givin me hj but she had this stupid ring on so it killed, i got her to take it off but my dick was in a ton of pain after that; i asked her if i could fuck her and she sadi i could but i couldnt fit my dick in, my dick probably had gotten soft, then i just kept fingering her for some reason, and eventually she told me to stop. i think the next day i realized i had been fingering her asshole half of the time. it wasnt getting all juicy like normally so that must have been what was going on.

if i could have just got that night to go RIGHT my life would be that much better right now! fuck!! i like her a lot too thats the sad thing... she is into skateboarding on a fan level (she could appreciate a ksate video) and likes cool music and scary movies.

another story fisrt time i ever had sex was with this friend of a friend of a friend i met at a bar she was fat had big tits walked like 10 miles to her house with no coat and snowing, she almost said she woulndt do it but she jumped on my dick anyway, then got off put on a condom then she wanted me to do her missionary and i lifted her legs up to go ddeeep she got mad and said "it cant be like a porno the first time", girls are weird. anyway the akwward part the next day i fucked her again in the AM and she went out and talked to her roommate i could hear her whispering to her hipster room mate and they both sounded the same one of them said "it was the most awkward sex ive ever had" but im pretty sure itw as the room mate talking, but i dont know i felt weird after. i tried to go bak to fuck her once when she was wasted but she just passed out and i puked smelling her breath and jetted.

i woke up in the next room to a friend fcking it wasnt that bad i should have joined in but i heard her say "go deep" andi  laughed

but awkward, my cousins were all staying at my other cousins' house and so like 10 ppl had to sleep in the family room in the basement, my one slutty cousin julie had her boyfriend and she was fuckinjg him in there and i heard him say something like "i cant theres too many people in here" so they went into the bathroom and finished i suppose. it was fucked i told my cousins about it a few years later and they were pretty pissed off at her.


another one i had this girlfriend and i fucked her in my friend's house she sucekd my dick first night i met her some druink dude walked in but she didnt care neither did i but we were dyin to fuck ever since that so liek 2 weeks later we finally get to the bar and are just dyin to bone the entire night we left after like half hour without my friends i bring her into the spare bedroom thers just like a ghetto mattress on the floor and she says she is startin on the pill but not yet so i put on the condom, good choice,

because i start ploughing the shit out of her like never before cause i am drunk too; if you get the perfect mix of beers it is really a thing of beauty. that must be how porn stars do it. anyway i am going for like 10 minutes on this girl and not feeling like i am going to lose my boner at all and i finally bust all in her mouth... except when i pulled out (didnt realize tl after i blew in her mouth) her pussy just puked up a fucking pint of blood. it soaked in to the matress DEEP and we threw out the mattress, sheets, and all next day.
I

LloydChristmas

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #28 on: February 22, 2010, 11:05:19 AM »
her pussy just puked up a fucking pint of blood.

you can really paint a picture  :-\

frig deuce

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #29 on: February 22, 2010, 12:47:38 PM »
I was once really wasted fuckin a girl and I was on top and had my hands planted firmly when I felt something crunchy and sticky on my hand. It was a used dried up condom chillin in her bed and I stopped fuckin here and looked at her and put my hand up and slowly peeled it off. "is that yours?" she said. "nope..."

she got all embarrassed but I was drunk so I didn't really care then I nutted inside her

nice


i have a few basically all my shit is awkward

there is 1 time that was so awkward for me i havnt been able to ask this girl out since i just keep bailing on her. shes indian, about 5'2, 90 pounds, so sexy, priya rai basically without fake tits.

i was completely wasted, like 8 beers in 3 hours 5.5%, fooling around with her at a party, like 3 am everyone asleep, she was givin me hj but she had this stupid ring on so it killed, i got her to take it off but my dick was in a ton of pain after that; i asked her if i could fuck her and she sadi i could but i couldnt fit my dick in, my dick probably had gotten soft, then i just kept fingering her for some reason, and eventually she told me to stop. i think the next day i realized i had been fingering her asshole half of the time. it wasnt getting all juicy like normally so that must have been what was going on.

if i could have just got that night to go RIGHT my life would be that much better right now! fuck!! i like her a lot too thats the sad thing... she is into skateboarding on a fan level (she could appreciate a ksate video) and likes cool music and scary movies.

another story fisrt time i ever had sex was with this friend of a friend of a friend i met at a bar she was fat had big tits walked like 10 miles to her house with no coat and snowing, she almost said she woulndt do it but she jumped on my dick anyway, then got off put on a condom then she wanted me to do her missionary and i lifted her legs up to go ddeeep she got mad and said "it cant be like a porno the first time", girls are weird. anyway the akwward part the next day i fucked her again in the AM and she went out and talked to her roommate i could hear her whispering to her hipster room mate and they both sounded the same one of them said "it was the most awkward sex ive ever had" but im pretty sure itw as the room mate talking, but i dont know i felt weird after. i tried to go bak to fuck her once when she was wasted but she just passed out and i puked smelling her breath and jetted.

i woke up in the next room to a friend fcking it wasnt that bad i should have joined in but i heard her say "go deep" andi  laughed

but awkward, my cousins were all staying at my other cousins' house and so like 10 ppl had to sleep in the family room in the basement, my one slutty cousin julie had her boyfriend and she was fuckinjg him in there and i heard him say something like "i cant theres too many people in here" so they went into the bathroom and finished i suppose. it was fucked i told my cousins about it a few years later and they were pretty pissed off at her.


another one i had this girlfriend and i fucked her in my friend's house she sucekd my dick first night i met her some druink dude walked in but she didnt care neither did i but we were dyin to fuck ever since that so liek 2 weeks later we finally get to the bar and are just dyin to bone the entire night we left after like half hour without my friends i bring her into the spare bedroom thers just like a ghetto mattress on the floor and she says she is startin on the pill but not yet so i put on the condom, good choice,

because i start ploughing the shit out of her like never before cause i am drunk too; if you get the perfect mix of beers it is really a thing of beauty. that must be how porn stars do it. anyway i am going for like 10 minutes on this girl and not feeling like i am going to lose my boner at all and i finally bust all in her mouth... except when i pulled out (didnt realize tl after i blew in her mouth) her pussy just puked up a fucking pint of blood. it soaked in to the matress DEEP and we threw out the mattress, sheets, and all next day.

bahahhaaa rawb your full of shit but that was a good read anyways.
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