Author Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences  (Read 462393 times)

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calvinsdream

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1980 on: May 23, 2018, 08:57:11 AM »
I accidentally nutted all over my face bout a hour ago. First squirt blammed me in the eye, its still red and hurts.

You just described your own posts

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1981 on: May 23, 2018, 09:17:39 AM »
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Yeah, chalk me up with the other non nutters, anyone else break the rubber though? i think it was one of those cheap restroom machine ones but shit ripped like 20 minutes in
[close]

whoa! get a load of mr. stamina over here.
For real,must be nice to have all that time to thrust

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

coyote2425

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1982 on: May 23, 2018, 10:47:56 AM »
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Yeah, chalk me up with the other non nutters, anyone else break the rubber though? i think it was one of those cheap restroom machine ones but shit ripped like 20 minutes in
[close]

whoa! get a load of mr. stamina over here.
[close]
For real,must be nice to have all that time to thrust

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X18mUlDddCc

calvinsdream

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1983 on: May 23, 2018, 12:50:12 PM »
Grade 8, I just turned 13, my friends parents were out of town and me and three friends were together, one girl came over to drink and smoke weed, two hours later I was taking her virginity while she jerked off two of my friends. I kicked my friends out of the room and asked her to be my girlfriend. I know how to pick them.

Not bad

feedmeseymour

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1984 on: May 23, 2018, 12:55:09 PM »
if were all being honest here, anyone else play stoneface with their homies before? we did once, it was fantastic.

Grind King Rims

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1985 on: May 23, 2018, 01:02:45 PM »
if were all being honest here, anyone else play stoneface with their homies before? we did once, it was fantastic.

What do you mean?

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1986 on: May 23, 2018, 02:51:22 PM »
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if were all being honest here, anyone else play stoneface with their homies before? we did once, it was fantastic.
[close]


What do you mean?

When a group of guys sit around a table with a tablecloth so they can't see underneath. Some skank proceeds to blow one of the guys and the guys all have to guess who is getting blown by the look on their face.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1987 on: May 23, 2018, 07:56:38 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
if were all being honest here, anyone else play stoneface with their homies before? we did once, it was fantastic.
[close]


What do you mean?
[close]

When a group of guys sit around a table with a tablecloth so they can't see underneath. Some skank proceeds to blow one of the guys and the guys all have to guess who is getting blown by the look on their face.

Sounds like the only good use for a tablecloth

Paco Supreme

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1988 on: May 23, 2018, 09:49:26 PM »
Expand Quote
Yeah, chalk me up with the other non nutters, anyone else break the rubber though? i think it was one of those cheap restroom machine ones but shit ripped like 20 minutes in
[close]

whoa! get a load of mr. stamina over here.

whole thing went for 40 minutes, if i remember right. we both sat there kinda unsure where to go next. i think i got into a punch up at her house the week after

Skate_lurker_Rob

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1989 on: May 24, 2018, 04:55:20 AM »
let's just get this out here I am a grimey dude sometimes sex is the best thing and it is a tool for a place to sleep and me and my dirtbag friends we would have to draw straws on who took one for the team, we called it going hoggin.
long story short was traveling and skating Pittsburgh at a indoor bowl/house anyways I am 2 40's into a decent knight I have some beer goggles on and this kinda bigger gal had been flirting with me and the place we were at the older dude wasn't having a bunch of people over anyways we get invited back to her place 4 people deep and we proceed to get whiskey drunk. well halfway through of the dirty deed I just go to pee and my friends are clowning on me. I just forget to finish her off and drink with my buddies she comes out 5 10 mins later ahhhemm kinda getting my attention I proceed to tell her fuck herself and ask wheres the snacks at? and raid her fridge its all vegan shit and hippie food shes like we dont eat that stuff! my friend shouts bullshit look at yourself you know you have a shoebox full of twinkies somewhere. we destroyed that girls apartment surprisingly we didnt get the boot. funny ironic as fuck because i think i saw her later on i saw her on a tattoo reality show and holy fuck she lost a shitload of weight.

I am in Berkeley and at Gilman 924 skating in front met 2 early 20s  gals we sparked up a flirty chit chat we were flying back and forth talking nasty like I am going cum in your ass and shit and I was joking like oh you wouldn't do that with me?! she said yeah i would....... we go to a group of bushes behind this warehouse with her gf we are all drinking beers and we continue to flirt like oh make out with her and shit she said whip your dick out and we want to watch while we are making out, fuck it I said whipped my shit out started fapping away they're into it and its a full on fucking it was awesome. so as I am about to cum and let me reiterate this point if anyone has been to the area there's a spot where illegal immigrants and others  kinda hang out at the baseball fields so as I am cumming the mexicans are cheering me on and it's funny as those two gals were always down to fuck all the time. great times

lots of sex in bushes and under bridges oh wait I did see a bum get stabbed while I was fucking this gal. apparently he thought one of my friends stole his shit so he tried to bash his skull in my friend slashed him with one of those edgy daggers with three blades that fold out that has lots of jagged parts something you'd see as a novelty in a corner bodega think of that cheesy 80s fantasy movie Krull. anyways as soon as we see this go down the whole crew proceeds to stomp the shit outta this tweaker/bum my ga at the time is naked waist down but boots stomping the fuck outta someone not bad person to have your back.......

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Skate_lurker_Rob

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1990 on: May 24, 2018, 05:06:36 AM »
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wow get a load of these guys nutting instantly

well i suppose its better than not nutting at all

about not nutting that's happened to me before too but that had more to do with me figuring out my own limits. having sex three or four times a day sounds amazing when you're 17 but not so much when you're 30 and in a long-term relationship with the same girl for eight years (that's not to say I wouldn't do it, but it's physically harder and the excitement isn't as frenetic). the act itself can feel so amazing you don't always 'have to' nut.

the way I see it and this is just my opinion and i dont give a fuck I am the reigning champ of 2 pump chump get me a few beers and I am Ron Jeremy either way the ladies play so many games so its an equal trade off tease me for how many weeks and finally get me to hit it and i cum on your face or hands or on your butt well ?! its even funnier spermanning a gal def a keeper if she finds it funny sadly no one has found it humorous.
[close]
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Bumpovertrash

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1991 on: May 24, 2018, 02:26:00 PM »
when i was 15 i was getting down with this chick at her house i was still a virgin and had never really did anything like i would get a boner from a kiss. Anyways i had my pants off and we were makin out feeling each other up real good, best moment of my life at this point. She started kissing my chest working her way down told me she wanted to choke on my cock. I was in fucking heaven dude. All the sudden we heard keys in the front door of course her fucking mom had to get off early that day.  I jumped up and ran in her closet managed to get one pant leg on and im frozen still. her mom comes in and shes talking to her for a sec and she goes " megan please have your guest step  out of the closet.  i walk out putting my pants all the way on and  realize she seen  me in there because of a fucking mirror. Fuck the awkwardness my balls were blue! She wanted to talk to my mom and i thought about running out the back door and dippin out but i didnt want my chick to get in anymore trouble. So i sat there with her mom in the kitchen while she called my mom. Oh yeah megan started crying and locked herself in the bathroom while i got to sit across the table from her mom waiting for my ride to show up. My mom wasnt mad really just super embarrassed.

feedmeseymour

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1992 on: June 26, 2018, 12:18:32 PM »
this thread is great, ill give you all another one from my archives.

i was 16 during a snowstorm late night, my buddy calls me and says " yo i found this girl thats down to suck us both off, you down?" so i meet up with him and we walked during the storm to meet with this girl in this wooded area path. we get to the spot and then without any hesitation her and my boy walk a little down the path and start going at it where i could only see the dark silhouette of them. i ended up walking away to go smoke while i waited, ten minutes later she walks back to me alone with her jeans soaked from being on her knees in the snow and  asks me, "so are you ready for your turn?" i asked where my boy was and she said "he's finishing off" i then looked down the path and saw a dark figure awkwardly jerking off in the snow storm to bust his load.

i looked at her and said nah im good cause if i was gonna get sloppy seconds i better be able to nut so and i ended up just going home... this same girl is the girl that we played stone face with later that summer.

man that girl was hungry for the D. classic daddy issues.

ended up de virginizing her towards the end of that summer.

Skate_lurker_Rob

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1993 on: June 26, 2018, 12:30:03 PM »
Have to bump this thread because it's too good to die

I don't have many great stories but I'll give it a shot. When I was 19 and sick of being a virgin I linked up with a girl I knew through mutual friends that would probably be down. Ended up getting sucked into an awkward relationship for a few months but got what I originally wanted so I guess it all worked out. First time I drove out to see her she kept going on about how she wanted to blow me and fuck me and all that. Needless to say I'm stoked but also beyond nervous having never actually done anything with a girl before. We pull my shitty car into a deserted parking lot to mess around because she still lives with very strict parents. She goes for it and whips out my dick and says "yep ,that's a dick" which I thought was pretty weird but whatever. She starts trying to go down on me but is clearly having not the best time, and I'm not even getting hard probably due to nervousness and her just not being that good at it. After a few more minutes I called it off and fingered her a little which was alright but I was bummed at the situation overall. The next visit though, we went to see a movie and she put my hand down her shirt and told me she wanted me to fuck her. We scampered out of the theater and to my car, and fucked in the back seat successfully (nice). Happened a few more times over the months but it became clear we both just wanted to mess around and had no real chemistry/things had gotten boring. Pretty sure she cheated on me towards the end so I was pretty sour about the whole thing but I'm glad I had the experience, I learned a good bit about myself and developed some self confidence.
Look if I could tell my past self something and give solemn advice I'd say this don't walk into a situation you can't handle with Fistina or Hand Solo, shoot one off before you meet up with gal taking your V-card. I was at a punk show in ATL, I had been hip to know I was decent looking but small towns never had anything of interesting tang if you will permit me to say in this instance you had to import your own gal as the pickens were quite slim. As I was saying I was at a show I brushed up aside this beautiful woman she gave me the eye of approval like hey I like you. As I am passing she gave me the look and pinched my ass I was smitten I was like no way!!! holy shit! i'm 18 and getting hit on by some decent trim, I am beside myself and finally brought a beer over and was studdering so bad but somehow she thought it was cute. So we get to talking and shoot the shit for awhile and we gets to fooling around, I'm about to get it as she's jerking me off I nut all on her hands. I am so embarrassed but thankfully she lets it known don't go into fooling around without letting one off beforehand as it keeps a good rhythm and stamina, Anyways we dated for awhile however she was 28 I was 18 and immature and knew I was under equipped to handle this gal, she was a exotic dancer also Persian/African American. Oh my god she was beautiful but damned if I didn't fuck it up with jealousy and being young. P.S. don't ever date or fool around with strippers unless you can handle drama..... boy did she have baggage to boot.
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pugmaster

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1994 on: July 02, 2018, 06:10:38 PM »
I have a relatively large collection of sexual experiences that are awkward in nature. I can't write about all of them in one sitting, because I need to go do laundry in a bit. I was logged off of SLAP for a few years because I couldn't remember my password.  I'll try to sprinkle them in as I remember to do so.

After I became sexually active, my friends got an apartment. This was during High School mind you (thereby making an apartment without adult supervision a bastion of sanity/insanity/questionable behavior).  I eventually met a person who remains a close friend to this day. His apartment was near my friends who skated. A cool ass dude, he and I remain friends.  He shared an apartment with one of my friends who skated that did not live in the main "skate house".

He and I possessed an affinity for consuming alcohol, and more specifically, smoking weed and watching Dave Chappelle. he was about 5 years older than I was and had random women come by who he would pick up. During one of these encounters, the woman who he planned on sleeping with brought a friend. This friend was a very big Asian woman. By all accounts, I am most certainly attracted to BBWs. This woman would be considered an SSBBW. We hooked up and we decided to spend the night on his futon in the living room. We made out, I fingered her to climax and afterwards she fell asleep without returning any favor whatsoever. The next morning we awoke, myself sexually frustrated, and as she got off the futon there was an actual nickel stuck to her fat back.  I told my friend about the ordeal and after that day she was forever known as "nickelback" (lower case "n" intentional).  Interestingly enough, I randomly encountered her at a later time probably a year later when she came to my friend's apartment (same friend, different apartment).  We both acted like we didn't know each other.  Good ol' nickelback for ya.
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silhouette

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1995 on: July 02, 2018, 06:55:10 PM »
SSBBW

so, switch stance back buck woman?

shark tits

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1996 on: July 02, 2018, 07:04:27 PM »
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SSBBW
[close]

so, switch stance back buck woman?
switch stance big beautiful woman, i do believe.

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1997 on: July 02, 2018, 07:27:51 PM »
I'm thinking way to hard about what switch stance could mean in this context.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1998 on: July 02, 2018, 08:18:55 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
SSBBW
[close]

so, switch stance back buck woman?
[close]
switch stance big beautiful woman, i do believe.
Very close, SSBBW is super size BBW.  It is like BBW who is almost ready to use the electric cart at Walmart, but not necessarily.  Extra-extra thick, in other words.
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silhouette

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #1999 on: July 02, 2018, 09:01:18 PM »
alright, I'll give you one. when I was in my early 20's I used to date this chick who was 19 and still lived at her mom's where she shared a room with her younger sister who was 17 at the time. we lived in different cities before she moved out eventually, so during that time period we'd have to visit each other back and forth to catch up, it was a 90 minute train ride so to keep things practical and worthwhile we'd usually spend at least one, maybe two (never six or twelve) nights in each other's company everytime. whenever she'd visit me there would be no problem but whenever I'd visit her, for some reason she was super paranoid about introducing me to her mom (I later understood why; her mom was quite the oddball), so I'd basically have to sneak inside my girl's shared bedroom through the window at night once the mom was asleep. bedroom was on the first floor and thankfully the girl's sister was an accomplice, so I'd climb and they'd both help me in. then I'd sleep in my girl's bed with the sister in another bed in the same room, and sorry but no this isn't going where we all wish it were; I did do things with my girl with the sister in the room a few times super quietly on the rare occasions we really couldn't resist (and I remember thinking that was pretty hot), but usually we'd wait till the morning after both the sister and the mom would have left the house. anyway, I really wasn't supposed to be there and every morning at 6, the girls' mom would literally bang the bedroom door open and shout their names to wake them up before class (pretty brutal, military style). so every morning I'd spend there, my girl would wake me up at 5:55 and then I knew I had to hide, most often underneath the covers would do but I also remember having to cram myself inside the cupboard a couple of times. we never got caught but had the closest call once. the sister left for class and my girl thought she'd fake being ill that day in order to get to stay in bed with me, except she forgot her mother wasn't working that day so she wasn't going to leave the house till 9 to go to the swimming pool which was her routine on her days off. so we stayed in bed till 9, as soon as her mother took off we had our fun and then I went to hit the shower. so I'm naked, get inside the shower, start washing my hair just thinking how ridiculous it would be if the mom chose to come back right then, just as I turn the water off to save water I hear keys in the front door; pause, then the front door; pause, then footsteps in the direction of the bathroom, only covered by the mom's voice shouting to my girl (who's supposedly still naked in her room too) that it's just her coming back to pick up her bag for the swimming pool that she forgot. I look up and sure enough, I can see her bag and towel in the same room I'm standing in, fully naked and although the bag is super close to the door - enough that the mom wouldn't have to actually enter the room to grab it - there is a massive mirror right next to it reflecting my entire, exposed lower body with, at the dead center of it, my dong, still elongated from the sex and hot shower, seam from the shampoo on it and everything to make for a perfect first impression to a girl's mother; a filmmaker couldn't have staged it better. just as I think I'm fucked, I hear my girl storm out of her room, towards the mom and somehow lure her into grabbing something from the kitchen first. I knew that was my move right there, so I ninja'd the fuck out of the bathroom, hair still full of shampoo and dragging my feet along the carpet praying I wouldn't leave marks, then the way their flat was set up, in order to make it back to the 'safe' zone the girl's bedroom was, I still needed to cross the living room at an angle, leaving me exposed for roughly ten feet with the kitchen door only partially closed (by my girl) in my back. now I'm a pretty clumsy individual, so I was stressed out to hit something or somehow generally fuck up the whole time, and even moreso that I was stressing out - the worst vicious cycle. but eventually I reached the door, hid in the bedroom, heard the mom come out of the kitchen, grab her bag then leave again mere seconds later; she never noticed shit. I'll never forget the feeling, it was an adrenaline rush topped off with a sense of accomplishment similar to winning the toughest skateboarding battle. then when my girl showed up to meet me in the room I realized she was fully dressed; I swear she must have thrown all her clothes on in a matter of seconds when she heard the keys in the door. then I proceeded to go, finish my shower and never forget about this.
« Last Edit: July 02, 2018, 09:08:39 PM by silhouette »

feedmeseymour

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2000 on: July 03, 2018, 05:16:02 AM »
i feel like it would be pretty funny to turn these stories into a coffee table book. or some sort of zine.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2001 on: July 03, 2018, 06:56:34 AM »
alright, I'll give you one. when I was in my early 20's I used to date this chick who was 19 and still lived at her mom's where she shared a room with her younger sister who was 17 at the time. we lived in different cities before she moved out eventually, so during that time period we'd have to visit each other back and forth to catch up, it was a 90 minute train ride so to keep things practical and worthwhile we'd usually spend at least one, maybe two (never six or twelve) nights in each other's company everytime. whenever she'd visit me there would be no problem but whenever I'd visit her, for some reason she was super paranoid about introducing me to her mom (I later understood why; her mom was quite the oddball), so I'd basically have to sneak inside my girl's shared bedroom through the window at night once the mom was asleep. bedroom was on the first floor and thankfully the girl's sister was an accomplice, so I'd climb and they'd both help me in. then I'd sleep in my girl's bed with the sister in another bed in the same room, and sorry but no this isn't going where we all wish it were; I did do things with my girl with the sister in the room a few times super quietly on the rare occasions we really couldn't resist (and I remember thinking that was pretty hot), but usually we'd wait till the morning after both the sister and the mom would have left the house. anyway, I really wasn't supposed to be there and every morning at 6, the girls' mom would literally bang the bedroom door open and shout their names to wake them up before class (pretty brutal, military style). so every morning I'd spend there, my girl would wake me up at 5:55 and then I knew I had to hide, most often underneath the covers would do but I also remember having to cram myself inside the cupboard a couple of times. we never got caught but had the closest call once. the sister left for class and my girl thought she'd fake being ill that day in order to get to stay in bed with me, except she forgot her mother wasn't working that day so she wasn't going to leave the house till 9 to go to the swimming pool which was her routine on her days off. so we stayed in bed till 9, as soon as her mother took off we had our fun and then I went to hit the shower. so I'm naked, get inside the shower, start washing my hair just thinking how ridiculous it would be if the mom chose to come back right then, just as I turn the water off to save water I hear keys in the front door; pause, then the front door; pause, then footsteps in the direction of the bathroom, only covered by the mom's voice shouting to my girl (who's supposedly still naked in her room too) that it's just her coming back to pick up her bag for the swimming pool that she forgot. I look up and sure enough, I can see her bag and towel in the same room I'm standing in, fully naked and although the bag is super close to the door - enough that the mom wouldn't have to actually enter the room to grab it - there is a massive mirror right next to it reflecting my entire, exposed lower body with, at the dead center of it, my dong, still elongated from the sex and hot shower, seam from the shampoo on it and everything to make for a perfect first impression to a girl's mother; a filmmaker couldn't have staged it better. just as I think I'm fucked, I hear my girl storm out of her room, towards the mom and somehow lure her into grabbing something from the kitchen first. I knew that was my move right there, so I ninja'd the fuck out of the bathroom, hair still full of shampoo and dragging my feet along the carpet praying I wouldn't leave marks, then the way their flat was set up, in order to make it back to the 'safe' zone the girl's bedroom was, I still needed to cross the living room at an angle, leaving me exposed for roughly ten feet with the kitchen door only partially closed (by my girl) in my back. now I'm a pretty clumsy individual, so I was stressed out to hit something or somehow generally fuck up the whole time, and even moreso that I was stressing out - the worst vicious cycle. but eventually I reached the door, hid in the bedroom, heard the mom come out of the kitchen, grab her bag then leave again mere seconds later; she never noticed shit. I'll never forget the feeling, it was an adrenaline rush topped off with a sense of accomplishment similar to winning the toughest skateboarding battle. then when my girl showed up to meet me in the room I realized she was fully dressed; I swear she must have thrown all her clothes on in a matter of seconds when she heard the keys in the door. then I proceeded to go, finish my shower and never forget about this.
Holy shit! slick mate So I had a similar situation except I was working at a Hewlitt Packard plant in Huntsville I'm 20 she's 18 and her sister is 15. I am saving enough for a apartment or a plane ticket. I have to spend most days either working or just lurking at local skatepark fucking off till I could come over as her mum and dad were cool I could have stayed had I been honest just it was my girls deal and don't want to rock the boat of what I have going on. So one night we have the house to ourselves we do our thing get freaky all over and shit. This was around 8 or 9 at night. We hear the door being knocked on unbeknownst to us her family had some weird uncle Cuck type of character to stay over. I usually zoomed into her room whenever someone came over so I didn't get caught. She comes in fuck guess what?! I'm like fuck are you serious?! dudes moving in with her family and was crashing the couch. Yes he was creepy and yeah I got my swerve on a few more times, but the situation became more than a pain in the ass, thank god for meeting another soon to be ex girlfriend with a house and shit.
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Thrillho

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2002 on: July 06, 2018, 02:59:54 AM »
I just jacked off to a picture I had never seen before of my dead girlfriend on someone's porn blog.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2003 on: July 06, 2018, 06:21:10 AM »
I just jacked off to a picture I had never seen before of my dead girlfriend on someone's porn blog.

Post the pic
I was standing staring at the world, and I still can't see it

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2004 on: July 06, 2018, 12:34:47 PM »
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I just jacked off to a picture I had never seen before of my dead girlfriend on someone's porn blog.
[close]

Post the pic

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Willie

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2005 on: July 06, 2018, 02:39:04 PM »
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Expand Quote
I just jacked off to a picture I had never seen before of my dead girlfriend on someone's porn blog.
[close]

Post the pic
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Good ol' SLAP.


I've got pics of a girl I fooled around with who died of a heart attack. Jerking off to them is super weird now.

boogs

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2006 on: July 07, 2018, 10:22:32 AM »
I just jacked off to a picture I had never seen before of my dead girlfriend on someone's porn blog.
pretty appropriate for your 666th post

shark tits

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2007 on: July 07, 2018, 10:24:25 AM »
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I just jacked off to a picture I had never seen before of my dead girlfriend on someone's porn blog.
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pretty appropriate for your 666th post
you should read his other 666th post about the ladyboy, it'll knock your socks of!

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2008 on: July 07, 2018, 10:30:30 AM »
Just remembered my buddy poppin in what he thought was his porn mixtape to jack it to and it was smack dab in the middle of a sextape his mom made with her boyfriend. 

Don't think he finished that day. He was bummed.

I'd feel strange jacking it to a dead ex more than a dead model/porn star mostly because you were physically with them before.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2009 on: July 07, 2018, 12:18:31 PM »
Just remembered my buddy poppin in what he thought was his porn mixtape to jack it to and it was smack dab in the middle of a sextape his mom made with her boyfriend. 

Don't think he finished that day. He was bummed.

I'd feel strange jacking it to a dead ex more than a dead model/porn star mostly because you were physically with them before.

Was his mom hot?