Author Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences  (Read 462362 times)

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Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2010 on: July 07, 2018, 02:38:38 PM »
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Just remembered my buddy poppin in what he thought was his porn mixtape to jack it to and it was smack dab in the middle of a sextape his mom made with her boyfriend. 

Don't think he finished that day. He was bummed.

I'd feel strange jacking it to a dead ex more than a dead model/porn star mostly because you were physically with them before.
[close]

Was his mom hot?
If youre into bbw,yeaaaa

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

JB

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2011 on: July 07, 2018, 02:59:57 PM »
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Just remembered my buddy poppin in what he thought was his porn mixtape to jack it to and it was smack dab in the middle of a sextape his mom made with her boyfriend. 

Don't think he finished that day. He was bummed.

I'd feel strange jacking it to a dead ex more than a dead model/porn star mostly because you were physically with them before.
[close]

Was his mom hot?
[close]
If youre into bbw,yeaaaa

BBWs are alright. Not sure about the SSBBWs though.

Francis Xavier

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2012 on: July 07, 2018, 03:21:37 PM »
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Just remembered my buddy poppin in what he thought was his porn mixtape to jack it to and it was smack dab in the middle of a sextape his mom made with her boyfriend. 

Don't think he finished that day. He was bummed.

I'd feel strange jacking it to a dead ex more than a dead model/porn star mostly because you were physically with them before.
[close]

Was his mom hot?
[close]
If youre into bbw,yeaaaa
[close]

BBWs are alright. Not sure about the SSBBWs though.
Ooof! Yea she isn't on that level,nice lady though.

Damn I left my bubbler at my parents house

bawtawdinfinity

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2013 on: July 07, 2018, 03:37:05 PM »
Ah yeah, so a bunch of friends were gonna film some skating so my friend pops in a tape to see what's on it to see if we can record over it. Its his parents wedding, goes on for about 10 seconds then cuts to him standing completely naked jerking off in front of the camera, saying things like "you want this dick".

Immediately turns it off and starts flipping out screaming from embarrassment while his brother his yelling at him for recording over his parents wedding with jack off footage. It was pretty awesome.

kentrock

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2014 on: July 07, 2018, 06:14:29 PM »
Ah yeah, so a bunch of friends were gonna film some skating so my friend pops in a tape to see what's on it to see if we can record over it. Its his parents wedding, goes on for about 10 seconds then cuts to him standing completely naked jerking off in front of the camera, saying things like "you want this dick".

Immediately turns it off and starts flipping out screaming from embarrassment while his brother his yelling at him for recording over his parents wedding with jack off footage. It was pretty awesome.

sounds pretty awesome like you said!  did you watch it long enough to get to watch him cum?  did you hook up with him later?

pugmaster

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2015 on: July 07, 2018, 06:44:15 PM »
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Ah yeah, so a bunch of friends were gonna film some skating so my friend pops in a tape to see what's on it to see if we can record over it. Its his parents wedding, goes on for about 10 seconds then cuts to him standing completely naked jerking off in front of the camera, saying things like "you want this dick".

Immediately turns it off and starts flipping out screaming from embarrassment while his brother his yelling at him for recording over his parents wedding with jack off footage. It was pretty awesome.
[close]

sounds pretty awesome like you said!  did you watch it long enough to get to watch him cum?  did you hook up with him later?

*slow clap*

Well done revfredmorton, well done.

Your attempt at starting a new account has failed and we clearly see you as the sexual deviant that you are.

Godspeed, sir
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bawtawdinfinity

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2016 on: July 07, 2018, 09:15:30 PM »
Revfred post your dick for me bb.

Sad Hippo

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2017 on: July 18, 2018, 07:27:35 PM »
Tobey got me thinking about eating ass.  I used to date this PAWG that would leave my nether regions smelling like dookie after backshots. Always thought it was odd. One day the conversation turned to ass wiping, turns out she wouldn’t look at the paper to make sure she was clean, thought that looking at shit was disgusting... I never ate her ass, but I kept dating her for a few more months.

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2018 on: July 18, 2018, 09:44:19 PM »
Just heard about this from a friend about something I did about 7 or so years ago.

Apparently, when I was dating this girl we had all been drinking. We were all seated on my couch, and she asked me if I wanted to fuck there in the room. I said no, but she insisted so she understands undid my pants, whipped my dick out and starting going away at it. I guess my friend just moved to the chair on the other side of the room and me and my girl go into the bedroom across the hall. She was apparently so loud that at the end he heard her say "CUM IN MY MOUTH" and then moments later she ran in the room, still naked, and spit the cum directly at him. From what he said he threw a glass at her and walked out, doesn't know how the rest of the night went.

It's weird hearing this so many years later and only having vague memories of the situation, but I was a heavy drinker back then so a lot of 2011 isn't full on clear. That girl ended up becoming a truck-stop prostitute for a year, which I guess suits her character.

pugmaster

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2019 on: July 19, 2018, 07:13:15 PM »
Just heard about this from a friend about something I did about 7 or so years ago.

Apparently, when I was dating this girl we had all been drinking. We were all seated on my couch, and she asked me if I wanted to fuck there in the room. I said no, but she insisted so she understands undid my pants, whipped my dick out and starting going away at it. I guess my friend just moved to the chair on the other side of the room and me and my girl go into the bedroom across the hall. She was apparently so loud that at the end he heard her say "CUM IN MY MOUTH" and then moments later she ran in the room, still naked, and spit the cum directly at him. From what he said he threw a glass at her and walked out, doesn't know how the rest of the night went.

It's weird hearing this so many years later and only having vague memories of the situation, but I was a heavy drinker back then so a lot of 2011 isn't full on clear. That girl ended up becoming a truck-stop prostitute for a year, which I guess suits her character.

Its like that scene in Jurassic park where the dinosaur with the neck wings sprays Newman.  Its too bad you don't remember that night, if she would have done a dino-scream after she spit at your friend you should have wifed her.
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kentrock

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2020 on: July 20, 2018, 03:37:39 PM »
first of all, im black.  i meet this really nice white girl, we hang out and end up back at her place, things are getting hot and we end up fucking.  while we are fucking, she starts moaning, "fuck me, n**ger", i didnt know if i should be offended or keep pounding this girl.  we never seen each other again after that, i think it was awkward for both of us.

shark tits

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2021 on: July 20, 2018, 03:57:27 PM »
from storytelling. that was telly's gf, i hope you're proud of yourself.
http://xhamster.com/videos/selma-blair-submissive-screaming-rough-fuck-ir-storytelling-1670622

poorlatino

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2022 on: July 20, 2018, 04:55:22 PM »
This girl was giving me head last night in a church parking lot l, i came in her mouth and she let some drip into her hand and she used it as lube to beat me off and while this is happening I notice an older man filmimg from his car. We left. I waved though..

A week prior to that I came in her mouth by surpise and it kinda went everywhere cause she couldnt hold it in. She wiped me off before she wiped her chin off.

Then she said thanks..

If your into any of this just meet a cute Napa delivery driver they are willing to go the extra mile to make sure you're satisfied. I call her a napahoe.

She bought me Stance socks and a Rvca hat before I even talked to her. It was on my birthday and I didnt even tell her it was. Along with the hat and socks she gave me a note that said " I think about you when I'm in bed naked"

Literally said two words to this girl before that.. I was working as a mechanic though so i would see her daily when she would deliver oil filters and shit.

Maybe I should text her back..

kentrock

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2023 on: July 20, 2018, 05:32:49 PM »


If your into any of this just meet a cute Napa delivery driver they are willing to go the extra mile to make sure you're satisfied. I call her a napahoe.



willing to go the extra mile for $1000-$5000 a day

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2024 on: July 20, 2018, 05:47:59 PM »
Your crusty ass be payin that..

kentrock

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2025 on: July 20, 2018, 10:11:59 PM »
Your crusty ass be payin that..

it was a quote from a well known site.  once you get to know your porn a little better you'll get it.

GOKU

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2026 on: July 20, 2018, 10:55:41 PM »
first of all, im black.  i meet this really nice white girl, we hang out and end up back at her place, things are getting hot and we end up fucking.  while we are fucking, she starts moaning, "fuck me, n**ger", i didnt know if i should be offended or keep pounding this girl.  we never seen each other again after that, i think it was awkward for both of us.

That's pretty fucked up. Dirty talk is one thing, but unexpected racist dirty talk is something you should, like, consent to before fucking lol. This sexual encounter is like some Curb Your Enthusiasm XXX type stuff.

theresnothinghere

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2027 on: March 14, 2019, 06:56:19 PM »
got fist bumped after giving head


landedprimo

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2028 on: March 15, 2019, 02:49:17 AM »
got fist bumped after giving head

Nothing wrong with that. Respect.
I don’t care what anyone says, a tit mouse’s tibia is a thing of beauty.
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johnes

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2029 on: March 15, 2019, 01:27:33 PM »
Hooked up with a homeless chick outside of a bar once.
God I’m so fucking lucky I didn’t get an STD from that.
She didn’t really mention she was homeless until we had been making out already.
I’m a fat Siamese cat.

Willie

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2030 on: March 15, 2019, 06:26:27 PM »
Here's an awkward experience I heard through my thin ass walls in college:

My neighbor was this short, angry hockey player type who was kind of a dick.


Anyway, I'm working on homework and I hear him getting on with a girl, she's moaning, etc. when all the sudden I hear her scream, "What the fuck?!? You got cum in my hair!"
"I'm sorry it was an accident!"
"It's everywhere! I can't get it out!"
More arguing ensues. I have a little chuckle.


The next day I hear Hockey Guy on the phone:
"So I'm going down on her and all of the sudden I realize my gum has fallen out of my mouth and I can't find it. She was so fucking pissed, bro!

Apparently I had misheard the night before.

h00man

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2031 on: March 15, 2019, 06:46:37 PM »
Hooked up with a homeless chick outside of a bar once.
God I’m so fucking lucky I didn’t get an STD from that.
She didn’t really mention she was homeless until we had been making out already.

Did you raw her or something? Also homeless as in sleeping in her car or out on the streets kinda homeless?
she can ride dick ham ham no joke ham

saucy ragu

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2032 on: March 15, 2019, 06:56:08 PM »
Here's an awkward experience I heard through my thin ass walls in college:

My neighbor was this short, angry hockey player type who was kind of a dick.


Anyway, I'm working on homework and I hear him getting on with a girl, she's moaning, etc. when all the sudden I hear her scream, "What the fuck?!? You got cum in my hair!"
"I'm sorry it was an accident!"
"It's everywhere! I can't get it out!"
More arguing ensues. I have a little chuckle.


The next day I hear Hockey Guy on the phone:
"So I'm going down on her and all of the sudden I realize my gum has fallen out of my mouth and I can't find it. She was so fucking pissed, bro!

Apparently I had misheard the night before.

If he lost his gum while going down on her, how did it end up in her hair?
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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2033 on: March 15, 2019, 07:21:06 PM »
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Here's an awkward experience I heard through my thin ass walls in college:

My neighbor was this short, angry hockey player type who was kind of a dick.


Anyway, I'm working on homework and I hear him getting on with a girl, she's moaning, etc. when all the sudden I hear her scream, "What the fuck?!? You got cum in my hair!"
"I'm sorry it was an accident!"
"It's everywhere! I can't get it out!"
More arguing ensues. I have a little chuckle.


The next day I hear Hockey Guy on the phone:
"So I'm going down on her and all of the sudden I realize my gum has fallen out of my mouth and I can't find it. She was so fucking pissed, bro!

Apparently I had misheard the night before.
[close]

If he lost his gum while going down on her, how did it end up in her hair?

not that hair

mrs.sarathe1

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2034 on: March 15, 2019, 08:15:33 PM »
I was banging a girl I used to date one night and randomly let out a fart. I had no idea it was coming. She gave me a weird look but I just kept going. I felt slightly awkward for a minute or two after the fact but you do what you have to do.
Shalom.

ungzilla

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2035 on: March 15, 2019, 08:38:32 PM »
You missed a great opportunity to stay in character and bless us with some TK erotic fan non-fic

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2036 on: March 15, 2019, 09:02:35 PM »
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Hooked up with a homeless chick outside of a bar once.
God I’m so fucking lucky I didn’t get an STD from that.
She didn’t really mention she was homeless until we had been making out already.
[close]

Did you raw her or something? Also homeless as in sleeping in her car or out on the streets kinda homeless?
For someone w.no signature ur awfully hostile, & that is why I do this

Willie

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2037 on: March 16, 2019, 05:13:16 AM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Here's an awkward experience I heard through my thin ass walls in college:

My neighbor was this short, angry hockey player type who was kind of a dick.


Anyway, I'm working on homework and I hear him getting on with a girl, she's moaning, etc. when all the sudden I hear her scream, "What the fuck?!? You got cum in my hair!"
"I'm sorry it was an accident!"
"It's everywhere! I can't get it out!"
More arguing ensues. I have a little chuckle.


The next day I hear Hockey Guy on the phone:
"So I'm going down on her and all of the sudden I realize my gum has fallen out of my mouth and I can't find it. She was so fucking pissed, bro!

Apparently I had misheard the night before.
[close]

If he lost his gum while going down on her, how did it end up in her hair?
[close]

not that hair

Kids these days have never met a girl who doesn't wax?

johnes

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2038 on: March 16, 2019, 08:27:13 AM »
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Hooked up with a homeless chick outside of a bar once.
God I’m so fucking lucky I didn’t get an STD from that.
She didn’t really mention she was homeless until we had been making out already.
[close]

Did you raw her or something? Also homeless as in sleeping in her car or out on the streets kinda homeless?
Well I had a condon but we didn’t end up having sex, she gave me a few condomless sucks, I was pretty faded on booze and Xanax so I couldn’t get a proper boner which is why we didn’t have sex.

Made out and touched for a long time.

Like sleeping in the streets homeless.

I went outside of the bar to smoke a cig, she commented on my bright eyes shirt and asked if I had weed to smoke. we went to my car to smoke and ended up starting to make out etc.
At some point she said she was homeless and I saw she had a goofy walk and was thin but maybe had like scoliosis.

She also mentioned she had recently had a baby but “the doctor sewed her up real good”

God damn this is the most regrettable shit in my life lol.

Xanax makes you do the worst shit.

So my friend was in the bar doing karaoke and also wasted like me, I go Back in The bar once me and the girl stopped trying to bang, she mentions “they said I’m not allowed to go in there”
I go to get my friend and I’m trying to explain that we need to gtfo because she thinks she’s coming home with me so she can have a place to sleep.
It was so hard to get him out of that bar( he couldn’t really comprehend the situation) but we ran out eventually the car fast and she tried to run and get in the car but I locked the doors, my friend tossed out her bag at her and we split and last thing I hear is he had whiskey dick I’ll do both of you

Also another gross af quote
oh you have a condom, corpus guys never like to wear condoms

She did look cute in my wasted state.
I drove home of course I absolutely should not have been driving in my condition.
When I got home I soaked my junk in a cup full of listerine to try to kill any potential germs.

I haven’t revisited this story in my mind for like 8 years.

« Last Edit: March 16, 2019, 08:37:28 AM by johnes »
I’m a fat Siamese cat.

Joust Ostrich

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Re: Awkward Sexual Experiences
« Reply #2039 on: March 16, 2019, 10:42:54 AM »
When I got home I soaked my junk in a cup full of listerine to try to kill any potential germs.
I'm posting from my blackberry wtf?!?!?