Author Topic: Why all the Berra hate?  (Read 5580 times)

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manuel

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #30 on: September 16, 2010, 12:32:23 PM »
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I think everyone on here is a slap pal. As far as the rep system goes I have no idea if it works or doesn't but apparently once you post enough times you can gnar or kook people which then changes that persons rep. Does anyone know who has the highest and lowest reps on here?
[close]
I think i have the lowest, which is odd, because I'm sure I'm the one that skates the most.
[close]
You skate the most?
Congratulations.
Not trying to stir shit but how, pray tell, do you know that you skate more than everyone else?
Because you said so?

Please don't be offended but I'm sure more than a few of us are curious as to how exactly you arrived at that conclusion, so by all means let's hear it.

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Lurkenstock, you're an idiot. You know damn well no one on slap goes skateboarding on a daily basis. I guarantee you don't either.
[close]
Never said anybody including myself skated on a daily basis, merely asked how you arrived at the conclusion that you skate the most out of everyone.
Period.
And you didn't answer, you called me an idiot, which is fine but still, as usual you resort to name calling and avoiding the question.

Okay, I guess until we hear otherwise (which apparently will be never) the reason you know that you skate more than anyone on here is merely because you said so.



I think about skating everyday!
But after just having my son, I've skated 3 times this whole month.
Enjoy your free time kids, cause as you get older it becomes less and less.

H8R part 4

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #31 on: September 16, 2010, 02:26:51 PM »
i know for a fact that i skate more than you, COTG.
when i go skating, its usually in upwards of 8 hours a day and thats usually 4-5 times a week, if not more.  and trust me, outside of stopping to drink a cold one, i stay skating the whole time.   if we ever went skating together, i guarantee you'll be sitting on your ass tired as hell while i stay fly around all over the place.  dead ass.   
 

ChildoftheGhetto

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #32 on: September 16, 2010, 02:30:28 PM »
doubt it, and even then, you still suck.


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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #33 on: September 16, 2010, 02:39:51 PM »
you'll be too busy being serious and trying to compete, while i'll be busy smiling and having fun.
   

ChildoftheGhetto

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #34 on: September 16, 2010, 02:44:09 PM »
Definitely, I've been skating for 10 years because i don't have fun doing it. That makes sense.


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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #35 on: September 16, 2010, 02:49:30 PM »
and i've been skating for 23+ years and sucking at it.  that makes sense.   

ChildoftheGhetto

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #36 on: September 16, 2010, 02:51:50 PM »
That actually does make sense.


anblue

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #37 on: September 16, 2010, 02:56:08 PM »
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
Who the fuck spends more than $5 at taco bell?
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Lurkenstock

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #38 on: September 16, 2010, 06:07:31 PM »
Because you're an idiot, people on here even say they rarely skate, some stating they actually don't skate at all. You're just playing stupid(i hope), so you can maintain an opposite stance to mine.
So because a few people on here have stated that they rarely skate or a few maybe even said that they don't skate at all, you automatically assume (and you know what they say about assumptions) that you skate more than EVERYBODY else that posts here?
That's your reasoning?
Wow you are a fucking piece of work.
Oh and everyone else besides you sucks too, right?
You sound like a fucking 8 year old when you say shit like that.

"I skate more than you."
"You suck at skateboarding"
"I'm better at skateboarding than you."

Sounds like stuff a little faggoty second grader would say.
And how can you talk about people being haters when you're the biggest fucking hater on here?
Everyone that posts here is such a big faggot to you but you post more than anyone and have logged in more time than anyone.

I'm over it already,  not gonna be responding to anymore shit you say but your unique posts will endure and continue to entertain I'm sure.


Lenny the Fatface

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #39 on: September 16, 2010, 06:30:37 PM »
I always thought the Berra hate was over-exaggerated until the "Nugget $3.00 video part" ordeal.  Dude seriously tried to hustle people then acted like the consumer was in the wrong for having an abrasive attitude towards it all.

ChildoftheGhetto

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #40 on: September 16, 2010, 07:32:47 PM »
I always thought the Berra hate was over-exaggerated until the "Nugget $3.00 video part" ordeal.  Dude seriously tried to hustle people then acted like the consumer was in the wrong for having an abrasive attitude towards it all.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I wasn't even mad at the fact they were selling it, that shit had tax on it. Get the fuck out.


H8R part 4

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #41 on: September 17, 2010, 11:19:39 AM »
I always thought the Berra hate was over-exaggerated until the "Nugget $3.00 video part" ordeal.  Dude seriously tried to hustle people then acted like the consumer was in the wrong for having an abrasive attitude towards it all.

they wanted everyday skaters to pay $3 to watch it but i wonder how many ams/pros/photogs/filmers/industry dudes plunked down $3 to buy shanes part?  i'm gonna take a wild guess and say none.   

and don't forget the unified program, thats what really started it all.  i know he has his heart in the right place to some degree, he just sucks at conveying his ideas to the general public.  thats not just him, theres a whole lot of people that have the same problem.  he really should have hired some PR people to do it for him and he would've been better off. 


Inbred Jed

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #42 on: September 17, 2010, 02:16:16 PM »
Back in ought 03 Berra and I had a partnership. We were headed to the Yukon to mine for gold. I had a deed to the biggest vein of gold ever known to man. I had won said deed in a poker game from ol 4 finger Furlong, who had lost most of his digits wrasslin' a two ton Kodiak.

Anyway, with the deed and map to the claim in my possession and Berra funding the venture we headed by steamboat to Alaska. After, a grueling 3 month journey by dog sled we arrived at the mine. Boy oh boy, ol Furlong weren't joshing. There was gold dust up the wahoo in them thar hills. I found a nugget the size of my goiter and let me tell you, I got a goiter the size of a cantaloupe. After 5 more months of a pickin' and a diggin' we loaded up our dog team were ready to head back to civilization to cash in our fortune. As we were about to leave Berra aims his musket at me and says, "I'll be headed back alone." He then took off with all the gold and the remainders of our food and even had me strip down naked and raced off laughing fiendishly.

What could I do besides start walking? I made it about week before I fell face down in a snow drift. Winter was coming and I had no hope. I don't know how long I laid there,but a new sensation came over me. I felt like I was in the the warmest, toastiest bed snuggled up in a blanket. I felt something warm hitting my face and woke up to find myself dog piled by a pack of wolves with one of them licking me. For some reason the wolves decided to take me into their pack.

Soon, I was making myself useful as a member of the pack. I was helping in the hunt, running on all fours taking down elk with my teeth. We had an alpha Wolf that I named Gray Ghost, for his ability to sneak up on prey as silent as the fog. Grey Ghost was a mighty patriarch respected by all the wolves except one. This dastardly wolf I had named Berra, after the conniving man who had left me stranded in the wilderness. Berra Wolf was jealous of Gray Ghost.

One brisk evening the pack was chasing  a large bull moose. The largest moose I had ever seen. We had it backed up against the edge of a cliff and the moose turned to stand his ground. Members of the pack were throwing themselves at the moose only to be struck down by his mighty hooves and formidable antlers. Then, Gray Ghost squared off with the moose. The moose plunged his head down and tried to charge Gray Ghost. Gray Ghost leaped upwards of 10 feet and jumped clear over the moose. The moose spun around to face off again. Gray Ghost saw an opportunity to sink his fangs into the moose's throat. The two beats were locked into a mortal struggle at the edge of the cliff.

The traitorous Berra Wolf saw his own opportunity and struck his body against Gray Ghost and the moose sending them both plummeting over the cliff. He looked proudly at the stunned pack and tried to mount the lead she-wolf to show his position as the new Alpha Male. I felt my blood boil and sprang at Berra Wolf. I felt his fangs ripped the flesh on my chest as I slashed at his belly with the own jaws. I feigned an attack and when he hesitated a moment I grasped his throat in my jaws and tore it out.  As Berra Wolf lay dying in the snow I realized that I was now the Alpha Male of the pack.

In an act some may deem unnatural I coupled with the lead she-wolf and in the spring she bore a litter. Of my offspring one in particular stood out. A brave and rambunctious little fellow, I named him Ralph . I taught Ralph the ways of the wolf and prepared him to take the leadership role.  I found myself longing to return to civilization. I mostly missed pizza and beer. When Ralph was two years old I though the was ready. The pack ran with me to a remote trading post. I bid them farewell and caught a supply plane into Anchorage.

A week later, I was back in the contiguous US. I logged onto the internet and soon learned that Berra (The human) had this private skatepark, no doubt financed by our gold. I was ready to let bygones be bygones. It had been a tough few years, but I learned a lot about myself and was stronger because of it. I took a bus to LA and went straight to the Berrics, with my newly purchased set up in hand. My first board in years. I knocked on the door and who should answer but Berra himself. he gave me me an amused look and scoffed,"I thought I left your pathetic ass back in Alaska."
"Well, I'm back, "I replied , "Are you going to let me skate or what?"
He mulled it over a moment, looked me in the eyes and said "Or what." and slammed the door in my face.

Does that answer you question?

daniel

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #43 on: September 18, 2010, 01:44:46 PM »
I could see how Berra charging $3 to watch a part is douchebag-worthy, but I honestly didn't care since I knew it was going up on youtube the next day for free. Whatever, I don't hate the dude, but I don't worship him either. As long as he keeps making videos that I enjoy watching, whatever.

pugmaster

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #44 on: September 19, 2010, 08:32:11 PM »
Scientology in itself is a business and not a religion.  Apart from that I have problems with how he makes himself out to be a martyr for skateboarding in the various berrics videos.  Other than that I enjoy the berrics content, would not buy from the canteen and enjoy his video parts.
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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #45 on: September 20, 2010, 11:01:12 PM »
OH MY GOD! Did The rest of you not read that amazing story by inbred jed?! That was by far the most amazing group of text ever assembled on this site!
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
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thewrongsuspect

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #46 on: October 02, 2010, 09:00:44 AM »
berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry

Hobochilli

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #47 on: October 02, 2010, 09:09:02 AM »
berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together

thewrongsuspect

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #48 on: October 02, 2010, 09:11:27 AM »
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berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame

Hobochilli

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #49 on: October 02, 2010, 09:17:06 AM »
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berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
[close]
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews

blake guzman

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #50 on: October 02, 2010, 09:19:19 AM »
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berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
[close]
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
[close]
He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews
you mean Rolling Thunder? that vid was so sick.

Hobochilli

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #51 on: October 02, 2010, 12:05:34 PM »
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berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
[close]
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
[close]
He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews
[close]
you mean Rolling Thunder? that vid was so sick.
Yes, i liked all the old Foundation vids, they used to have the sickest skaters

blake guzman

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #52 on: October 02, 2010, 08:27:58 PM »
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berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
[close]
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
[close]
He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews
[close]
you mean Rolling Thunder? that vid was so sick.
[close]
Yes, i liked all the old Foundation vids, they used to have the sickest skaters
I rewatched Steve Olson's part today. I loved it, even the cheesy interviews.

Lordata

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #53 on: October 02, 2010, 09:44:39 PM »
Back in ought 03 Berra and I had a partnership. We were headed to the Yukon to mine for gold. I had a deed to the biggest vein of gold ever known to man. I had won said deed in a poker game from ol 4 finger Furlong, who had lost most of his digits wrasslin' a two ton Kodiak.


............................................................................................


A week later, I was back in the contiguous US. I logged onto the internet and soon learned that Berra (The human) had this private skatepark, no doubt financed by our gold. I was ready to let bygones be bygones. It had been a tough few years, but I learned a lot about myself and was stronger because of it. I took a bus to LA and went straight to the Berrics, with my newly purchased set up in hand. My first board in years. I knocked on the door and who should answer but Berra himself. he gave me me an amused look and scoffed,"I thought I left your pathetic ass back in Alaska."
"Well, I'm back, "I replied , "Are you going to let me skate or what?"
He mulled it over a moment, looked me in the eyes and said "Or what." and slammed the door in my face.

Does that answer you question?

That Sir, was possibly one of the greatest posts I have read on this site.
I don't hate Berra, I'm just not a huge fan of his more recent video parts, (skate more, mind field).

Hobochilli

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #54 on: October 03, 2010, 04:14:02 AM »
Expand Quote
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
[close]
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
[close]
He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews
[close]
you mean Rolling Thunder? that vid was so sick.
[close]
Yes, i liked all the old Foundation vids, they used to have the sickest skaters
[close]
I rewatched Steve Olson's part today. I loved it, even the cheesy interviews.
yeah Olson was sick, i wish he still be around

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #55 on: October 03, 2010, 10:07:46 PM »
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
[close]
berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
[close]
what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
[close]
He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews
You ever notice how a lot of his parts have this feeling like he is skating for his life? All dramatic music and all that shit, not just the one where the monster is chasing him either.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

dolphinstyle.

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #56 on: October 03, 2010, 10:09:44 PM »
Back in ought 03 Berra and I had a partnership. We were headed to the Yukon to mine for gold. I had a deed to the biggest vein of gold ever known to man. I had won said deed in a poker game from ol 4 finger Furlong, who had lost most of his digits wrasslin' a two ton Kodiak.

Anyway, with the deed and map to the claim in my possession and Berra funding the venture we headed by steamboat to Alaska. After, a grueling 3 month journey by dog sled we arrived at the mine. Boy oh boy, ol Furlong weren't joshing. There was gold dust up the wahoo in them thar hills. I found a nugget the size of my goiter and let me tell you, I got a goiter the size of a cantaloupe. After 5 more months of a pickin' and a diggin' we loaded up our dog team were ready to head back to civilization to cash in our fortune. As we were about to leave Berra aims his musket at me and says, "I'll be headed back alone." He then took off with all the gold and the remainders of our food and even had me strip down naked and raced off laughing fiendishly.

What could I do besides start walking? I made it about week before I fell face down in a snow drift. Winter was coming and I had no hope. I don't know how long I laid there,but a new sensation came over me. I felt like I was in the the warmest, toastiest bed snuggled up in a blanket. I felt something warm hitting my face and woke up to find myself dog piled by a pack of wolves with one of them licking me. For some reason the wolves decided to take me into their pack.

Soon, I was making myself useful as a member of the pack. I was helping in the hunt, running on all fours taking down elk with my teeth. We had an alpha Wolf that I named Gray Ghost, for his ability to sneak up on prey as silent as the fog. Grey Ghost was a mighty patriarch respected by all the wolves except one. This dastardly wolf I had named Berra, after the conniving man who had left me stranded in the wilderness. Berra Wolf was jealous of Gray Ghost.

One brisk evening the pack was chasing �a large bull moose. The largest moose I had ever seen. We had it backed up against the edge of a cliff and the moose turned to stand his ground. Members of the pack were throwing themselves at the moose only to be struck down by his mighty hooves and formidable antlers. Then, Gray Ghost squared off with the moose. The moose plunged his head down and tried to charge Gray Ghost. Gray Ghost leaped upwards of 10 feet and jumped clear over the moose. The moose spun around to face off again. Gray Ghost saw an opportunity to sink his fangs into the moose's throat. The two beats were locked into a mortal struggle at the edge of the cliff.

The traitorous Berra Wolf saw his own opportunity and struck his body against Gray Ghost and the moose sending them both plummeting over the cliff. He looked proudly at the stunned pack and tried to mount the lead she-wolf to show his position as the new Alpha Male. I felt my blood boil and sprang at Berra Wolf. I felt his fangs ripped the flesh on my chest as I slashed at his belly with the own jaws. I feigned an attack and when he hesitated a moment I grasped his throat in my jaws and tore it out. �As Berra Wolf lay dying in the snow I realized that I was now the Alpha Male of the pack.

In an act some may deem unnatural I coupled with the lead she-wolf and in the spring she bore a litter. Of my offspring one in particular stood out. A brave and rambunctious little fellow, I named him Ralph . I taught Ralph the ways of the wolf and prepared him to take the leadership role. �I found myself longing to return to civilization. I mostly missed pizza and beer. When Ralph was two years old I though the was ready. The pack ran with me to a remote trading post. I bid them farewell and caught a supply plane into Anchorage.

A week later, I was back in the contiguous US. I logged onto the internet and soon learned that Berra (The human) had this private skatepark, no doubt financed by our gold. I was ready to let bygones be bygones. It had been a tough few years, but I learned a lot about myself and was stronger because of it. I took a bus to LA and went straight to the Berrics, with my newly purchased set up in hand. My first board in years. I knocked on the door and who should answer but Berra himself. he gave me me an amused look and scoffed,"I thought I left your pathetic ass back in Alaska."
"Well, I'm back, "I replied , "Are you going to let me skate or what?"
He mulled it over a moment, looked me in the eyes and said "Or what." and slammed the door in my face.

Does that answer you question?

Dear Inbred Jed,
Thank you for this amazingly entertaining, yet also critical and informative story. It will shape the mindset of people in a great, yet also splendid way. And 'Yes' it must have answered his question.

Yours faithfully

a
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Hobochilli

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #57 on: October 04, 2010, 02:34:39 AM »
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berra is just not cool as he waz a couple years back, i doubt he still skates everyday and he thinks hes a top dog guy in the skateboarding industry
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berra and the word cool just doesnt mix well together
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what i meant to say that he was just a normal skater before the berrics,now he is just a skate celebrity just like rob dyrdek wich is fukin lame
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He had a couple of good parts in the 90s, i liked the foundation part he had, but he have always seemed to be a whiny little bitch, especially if you read his interviews
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You ever notice how a lot of his parts have this feeling like he is skating for his life? All dramatic music and all that shit, not just the one where the monster is chasing him either.
I guess he always been a drama queen

Tweekhub

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #58 on: October 13, 2010, 04:07:09 PM »
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Joust Ostrich

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Re: Why all the Berra hate?
« Reply #59 on: February 05, 2011, 10:20:50 PM »
Back in ought 03 Berra and I had a partnership. We were headed to the Yukon to mine for gold. I had a deed to the biggest vein of gold ever known to man. I had won said deed in a poker game from ol 4 finger Furlong, who had lost most of his digits wrasslin' a two ton Kodiak.

Anyway, with the deed and map to the claim in my possession and Berra funding the venture we headed by steamboat to Alaska. After, a grueling 3 month journey by dog sled we arrived at the mine. Boy oh boy, ol Furlong weren't joshing. There was gold dust up the wahoo in them thar hills. I found a nugget the size of my goiter and let me tell you, I got a goiter the size of a cantaloupe. After 5 more months of a pickin' and a diggin' we loaded up our dog team were ready to head back to civilization to cash in our fortune. As we were about to leave Berra aims his musket at me and says, "I'll be headed back alone." He then took off with all the gold and the remainders of our food and even had me strip down naked and raced off laughing fiendishly.

What could I do besides start walking? I made it about week before I fell face down in a snow drift. Winter was coming and I had no hope. I don't know how long I laid there,but a new sensation came over me. I felt like I was in the the warmest, toastiest bed snuggled up in a blanket. I felt something warm hitting my face and woke up to find myself dog piled by a pack of wolves with one of them licking me. For some reason the wolves decided to take me into their pack.

Soon, I was making myself useful as a member of the pack. I was helping in the hunt, running on all fours taking down elk with my teeth. We had an alpha Wolf that I named Gray Ghost, for his ability to sneak up on prey as silent as the fog. Grey Ghost was a mighty patriarch respected by all the wolves except one. This dastardly wolf I had named Berra, after the conniving man who had left me stranded in the wilderness. Berra Wolf was jealous of Gray Ghost.

One brisk evening the pack was chasing  a large bull moose. The largest moose I had ever seen. We had it backed up against the edge of a cliff and the moose turned to stand his ground. Members of the pack were throwing themselves at the moose only to be struck down by his mighty hooves and formidable antlers. Then, Gray Ghost squared off with the moose. The moose plunged his head down and tried to charge Gray Ghost. Gray Ghost leaped upwards of 10 feet and jumped clear over the moose. The moose spun around to face off again. Gray Ghost saw an opportunity to sink his fangs into the moose's throat. The two beats were locked into a mortal struggle at the edge of the cliff.

The traitorous Berra Wolf saw his own opportunity and struck his body against Gray Ghost and the moose sending them both plummeting over the cliff. He looked proudly at the stunned pack and tried to mount the lead she-wolf to show his position as the new Alpha Male. I felt my blood boil and sprang at Berra Wolf. I felt his fangs ripped the flesh on my chest as I slashed at his belly with the own jaws. I feigned an attack and when he hesitated a moment I grasped his throat in my jaws and tore it out.  As Berra Wolf lay dying in the snow I realized that I was now the Alpha Male of the pack.

In an act some may deem unnatural I coupled with the lead she-wolf and in the spring she bore a litter. Of my offspring one in particular stood out. A brave and rambunctious little fellow, I named him Ralph . I taught Ralph the ways of the wolf and prepared him to take the leadership role.  I found myself longing to return to civilization. I mostly missed pizza and beer. When Ralph was two years old I though the was ready. The pack ran with me to a remote trading post. I bid them farewell and caught a supply plane into Anchorage.

A week later, I was back in the contiguous US. I logged onto the internet and soon learned that Berra (The human) had this private skatepark, no doubt financed by our gold. I was ready to let bygones be bygones. It had been a tough few years, but I learned a lot about myself and was stronger because of it. I took a bus to LA and went straight to the Berrics, with my newly purchased set up in hand. My first board in years. I knocked on the door and who should answer but Berra himself. he gave me me an amused look and scoffed,"I thought I left your pathetic ass back in Alaska."
"Well, I'm back, "I replied , "Are you going to let me skate or what?"
He mulled it over a moment, looked me in the eyes and said "Or what." and slammed the door in my face.

Does that answer you question?
My mind are fucking blowd.  You should have won an award for this.
I'm posting from my blackberry wtf?!?!?