Author Topic: FUCK !  (Read 58932 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Human Onion

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 257
  • Rep: 4
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #90 on: September 29, 2010, 02:32:31 PM »
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".

This is gold!

MyUserName

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2874
  • Rep: 168
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #91 on: September 29, 2010, 02:43:20 PM »
Expand Quote
i am goin out with this chick on friday



what does bbw mean?
[close]
BBW   Big Beautiful Women
BBW   Big Black Women
BBW   Beautiful Black Women
BBW   Bath & Body Works
BBW   Broadband Wireless
BBW   Big Bad Wolf
BBW   Buyer Beware
BBW   Brake-By-Wire
BBW   Big Bisexual Woman
BBW   Broken Bow, Nebraska (Airport Code)
BBW   Boston Beer Works (Boston, MA)
BBW   Brass Band World
BBW   Be Back Whenever
BBW   Baseball Writers Association of America
BBW   Business Building Workshop
BBW   Big Beached Whale
BBW   Bayrische Bohrerwerke (German: Bayrische Drill Works)
BBW   Balfour Beatty Workplace (London, England)

make your choice!


TheFreshSC

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #92 on: September 29, 2010, 04:02:27 PM »
my god rawb. that's it, i'm re-friending you on facebook

Prison Wallet

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4066
  • Rep: 510
  • I'm gonna break my leg off in your ass
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #93 on: September 29, 2010, 04:46:57 PM »
I still can't believe people on here actually wanted to ban Rawb.

Rawb you got any other good hooker stories?

smokecrack

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4379
  • Rep: -160
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #94 on: September 29, 2010, 04:59:38 PM »
Expand Quote
ok so i went into the joint and the girl had big titties... they always ask you if you have been here before... i always just say no cause i have noticed different girls charge different tips... so anyway you pay i think 40 or 50 to get in the door at this place and she says "tipping starts at 40$, 60$ for topless, $80 for bottomless, $100 you get to touch me back, $120 for reversal". so I threw down 120$, thinking that I was going to get to bang her or something.

so she takes off her clothes and she is kind of fat actually she has a brutal gut kind of and talking about how she is a "boarder chick". so she starts doin the normal deal, massage your back, you know, tickle your balls a bit, then you flip over they jerk you... she gets like tons of lube and i see her gettin the glove and she starts jerkin me again and then sneaks her finger in my ass hole... i jumped and said "whoa you dont gotta do that" shes like "relax this is going to be amazing"... i could actually feel my boner fading big time. she starts fingerin my butt hole and jerking my limp dick.  eventually she stops with the butt stuff and finishes it normal, and she says "so how did you like the anal playage" (that quote is verbatim) and i said "i didnt really like it" and she said "oh you will love it when you get older".
[close]

Just reading that makes my Junk feel weird.

Only thing that comes to mind "you gotta pay that troll toll to get into this boys hole"

The ultimate reversal, Next time give her 100$ and a box of steak-ums and tell her you want the universal.

damn it you son-of-a-bitch, you stole my gif! haha, oh well.

(rawb, i want to here more of your sexcapades. this is very heartwarming and epic. very, very epic.

Hobochilli

  • Mods
  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2460
  • Rep: 321
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #95 on: September 29, 2010, 05:14:31 PM »
yes give us more, best thread in a long time

Donkey Lips

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8471
  • Rep: 1020
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #96 on: September 29, 2010, 06:37:12 PM »
MDRawbertson is my dude. Pound that chick. I want stories from this fucking date. My life's been slow lately(always).

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #97 on: September 30, 2010, 08:52:10 AM »
i realized the other night that the reason she didnt jerk me was pure karma

i was on the dating website back in the winter ( i was still living at my parents house) and i was talkin to this girl for like 4 days adn we went to this place by my house I really like its a nice pub and the owner is only like 28 or so and i always bring decent looking girls in there and we talk about music and beer a lot.

anyway im waiting outside i just walked down she drove down and she gets out of the car and shes so fat... im like fuck... so i go in the owner dude was like "oh, hey" looked super awkward. so i got a philly cheesesteak and she copies me and she is disgusting to watch eat. i could hardly think of a thing to say to her. so at the end i am like fuck it ill pay and bounce then i have no reason to stay with her any longer, she grabs it before i can even and says "i got this".

so im like "fuck she must really want to please" so she is drivin me back home and my parents are gone for the weekend, i am just like fuck it i need to bust, so i invite her in, shes down. she weighs like 250 man im tellin you shes big. anyway we go into my basement dungeon and start makin out right away and i go to finger bang her and she says "nah i cant im on my period" so im like "damn". but shes like "yeah but that doesnt mean you dont get a treat" and she sucks my wang and i get to titty fuck her. then the next day i invite her over same deal, we didnt even really talk or hang out at all. i just pure titty fucked her all nigth.

then i just never talked to her again, she left shaun of the dead at my house i saw her on msn so i asked her if she wanted her movie back and she said shed rather never see me again
ONTARIO CANADA

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #98 on: September 30, 2010, 08:59:42 AM »
another time i was talkin to this girl on there and she looked mad hot and sounded super cool but she lived like an hour away so i was like hesitant to go meet her, anyway she talks me into it... so i go down there and this fucking dude answers the door... so im like "hey does samantha live here" and hes like "yeah yeah, shes here, come in" i go in there are 2 fat bitches sittin on the couch, look nothin like the pics. some super awkward convo goes down literally like 2 sentences tops... like "how was the drive" "good" "whats the weather like" "not bad", then i say "im gonna go make a run @ Tim's, anyone want anything?" and they gave me 5$ to get them stuff... i bounced back home.

the fuckin bitch messages me sayin she is gonna call the cops and shit, i spent that 5 up on a porn mag cause internet was down had to go home and jerk it.
ONTARIO CANADA

Hercules Rockefeller

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8374
  • Rep: -13
  • i`m a double-bacon-genius-burger.
  • Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #99 on: September 30, 2010, 10:01:31 AM »
this thread is so damn amazing.

camel filters

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 5067
  • Rep: 1274
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
    Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #100 on: September 30, 2010, 10:10:01 AM »
rawbertson, you are a dirty man who probably didnt deserve that girl who wouldnt put out. because she is a nice girl with a future to worry about.

with that said. i fully back you.

Krudler

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #101 on: September 30, 2010, 10:12:39 AM »
Those last two stories were pretty great.

Narcissus

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3061
  • Rep: 301
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #102 on: September 30, 2010, 10:31:25 AM »
Rawb, the uniter.

It's like story time at the library and we're all seated in a loose circle, legs crossed Indian-style, leaning forward, listening intently to every word that the story teller, Mr. Rawbertson, is reading aloud from his picture book of fat bitches he's boob-jobbed.
i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after.
Quote from: The Kitten!
get wasted and pass out.

Beeda Weeda

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #103 on: September 30, 2010, 10:42:14 AM »
this thread is really taking off, Rawb keep posting more internet dating sotries, you are on your way to classic slap.
p.s. the timmies run move was beyond street smart.

Reggie Nobles

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 180
  • Rep: 84
  • oh no
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #104 on: September 30, 2010, 11:09:38 AM »
Hahaha the tim's run had me dying

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #105 on: September 30, 2010, 12:06:00 PM »
the first time i ever saw titties, i had this girlfriend for like half a year and she didnt do shit and she broke up with me. so year or so passes i was like 18 all my friends had already gotten laid like so long ago. i see her at a party we went to my parents' house after canada day fireworks and started makin out. i had taken off a girls bra once before but it took me like 15 min and she freaked out and put it back on i never got to see nothing... anyway i got it off the new girl and her tits looked like dog shit. she stops and she says "I want more than this" so i said "i have a condom" and she said "no thats not what i meant... i dont want to just fool around" and i said "do you want to be my girlfriend again?" and she says yeah that was what she meant. so we start making out and she was really psyched... she says "so do you want to get that condom out" im like convinced im finally gonna get laid.

so she puts it on i just lay down on the couch and she starts sucking my dick with the condom on, im drunk, needless to say it was shit. so then i said "i wanna put my dick between your tits". so i start titty fucking her with a condom on, but it sucks because 1. her tits look like cellulose pieces of shit and are too small and 2. i am wearing a fucking condom. she says something like "i dont have the best tits for this". and i said "yeah i just want to fuck you so bad" and she started crying and totally ruined the moment. she said "why do you have to say it like that". so i started fingerblasting her but that didnt help.
ONTARIO CANADA

Hercules Rockefeller

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8374
  • Rep: -13
  • i`m a double-bacon-genius-burger.
  • Bronze Topic Start Bronze Topic Start : Start a topic with over 1,000 replies.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #106 on: September 30, 2010, 12:40:59 PM »
and she started crying and totally ruined the moment. she said "why do you have to say it like that". so i started fingerblasting her but that didnt help.

i just laughed so hard, incredible. comedy gold right here.

Beeda Weeda

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #107 on: September 30, 2010, 01:36:10 PM »
one thing that is clear, rawb loves to titty fuck a gal

Donkey Lips

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8471
  • Rep: 1020
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #108 on: September 30, 2010, 02:49:40 PM »
Tim Horton's dip-out was pure genius. In a way, she did get you laid since you spent her cash on porn.

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #109 on: September 30, 2010, 03:51:50 PM »
there are a couple stories i want to say but they are just so pathetic and like i dont even know if theyd be worth telling like so many times a girl gives me a hand job and doesnt even finish and like shes almost there that shit pisses me off to no extent and i never have the balls to say anything.... i once knew a dude who jerked off in the girls bathroom after even so i guess im not the only one
ONTARIO CANADA

TheFreshSC

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #110 on: September 30, 2010, 05:33:50 PM »
rawb there are no words. other than i love you

Prison Wallet

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4066
  • Rep: 510
  • I'm gonna break my leg off in your ass
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #111 on: September 30, 2010, 05:41:36 PM »
Dusty G delete that shit outta here... You've got no business posting in this thread.

DustyGozongas

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 168
  • Rep: -11
  • I could smell ya gettin' off the elevator
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #112 on: September 30, 2010, 05:48:07 PM »
only because u have posted more than me and it makes u cooler  ::)...sarcasm.
« Last Edit: September 30, 2010, 05:53:26 PM by DustyGozongas »

TheFreshSC

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #113 on: September 30, 2010, 05:48:53 PM »
^kook'd

smokecrack

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4379
  • Rep: -160
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #114 on: September 30, 2010, 06:39:42 PM »
damn rawb, you've got us on the edge of our seats! i want some more titty-fucking and fingerblasting tales. don't hold back by thinking a story is too pathetic or weak. just let it out, man. we're all just in awe of your radness.

DEDBBIS

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1256
  • Rep: -76
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #115 on: October 01, 2010, 02:56:15 AM »
Jesus, you've got some balls Rawb. Pulling this shit is one thing, but your willingness to share your tales is awesome.

There ain't no shit on T.V. tonight

rawbertson.

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 8870
  • Rep: 651
  • yo yo, yo yo yo yo
    • my youtube avatar image
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
  • User is on moderator watch listWatched
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #116 on: October 01, 2010, 05:28:20 AM »
i just realized last night there has only been one girl that let me fuck her regularly in my whole life. she swallowed too i didnt even request it at all, but it was like her mission
ONTARIO CANADA

Beeda Weeda

  • Guest
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #117 on: October 01, 2010, 06:25:06 AM »
your new mission is to seek her out get soem regular sex.

Narcissus

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 3061
  • Rep: 301
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #118 on: October 01, 2010, 07:35:48 AM »
I think it's time that this thread be moved to Full Gnar.
i saw my grandma bail off a 4 set once in my house and she even got up and came to red lobster after.
Quote from: The Kitten!
get wasted and pass out.

j....soy.....

  • Trade Count: (0)
  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 18164
  • Rep: 1566
  • SLAP OG SLAP OG : Been around since SLAP was a mag.
Re: FUCK !
« Reply #119 on: October 01, 2010, 08:18:32 AM »
I'm too regular to photoshop anything but if any of you have any free time.....can you do up a photo of like some fingers with lazers beams coming out...