Author Topic: FUCK !  (Read 58935 times)

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jojo_fosho

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #120 on: October 01, 2010, 08:27:52 AM »
SO glad I clicked on this thread

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #121 on: October 01, 2010, 09:35:09 AM »
one time i was going out with this indian girl, fuck i would do like anything to get her back, she only weighed 92 pounds...  my god she was amazing... anyway she was kind of shy i had her down in the dungeon and i got her fully naked but she wouldnt really do anything i had to like physically put her hand on my dick to get her to jerk... anyway

1 time we went to a party i got realyl fuckin drunk and i think i accidently fingered her butt instead of her pussy, although she didnt seem to mind... the reason i think this is because it didnt seem as wet as normal. she was tryin to jerk me but had this fucked up ring or something, i jsut remember it being extremely painful and i had to get her to stop. shit was just so awkward after that night. i asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said ok, i tried to get my dick in but it did not work, i just kept mashing it up against her shit. i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again. we still talk and she is on that fucking dating website like every single day i see her online and she said she hasnt had time to go on any dates.
ONTARIO CANADA

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #122 on: October 01, 2010, 12:02:14 PM »
i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again.

Destined to become a classic thread. Rawb, you're doing the Lord's work.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #123 on: October 01, 2010, 12:44:13 PM »
Rawb needs an epicly laterd episode. O'dell should just follow him around and document his conquests. My world is certainly a better place after hearing some of this shit.

i just realized last night there has only been one girl that let me fuck her regularly in my whole life. she swallowed too i didnt even request it at all, but it was like her mission
We need a picture of this chick.

snickers

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #124 on: October 01, 2010, 12:45:44 PM »
I think it's time that this thread be moved to Full Gnar.
I think it's time we let rawb into Full Gnar...
fatcockXL deserves to be mod on the strength of his name alone

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #125 on: October 01, 2010, 12:48:29 PM »
one time i was going out with this indian girl, fuck i would do like anything to get her back, she only weighed 92 pounds...  my god she was amazing... anyway she was kind of shy i had her down in the dungeon and i got her fully naked but she wouldnt really do anything i had to like physically put her hand on my dick to get her to jerk... anyway

1 time we went to a party i got realyl fuckin drunk and i think i accidently fingered her butt instead of her pussy, although she didnt seem to mind... the reason i think this is because it didnt seem as wet as normal. she was tryin to jerk me but had this fucked up ring or something, i jsut remember it being extremely painful and i had to get her to stop. shit was just so awkward after that night. i asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said ok, i tried to get my dick in but it did not work, i just kept mashing it up against her shit. i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again. we still talk and she is on that fucking dating website like every single day i see her online and she said she hasnt had time to go on any dates.
when i become a pal my sole mission would be to get rawb back to positive rep. thank you for sharing this.

Hobochilli

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #126 on: October 01, 2010, 12:50:52 PM »
Expand Quote
one time i was going out with this indian girl, fuck i would do like anything to get her back, she only weighed 92 pounds...  my god she was amazing... anyway she was kind of shy i had her down in the dungeon and i got her fully naked but she wouldnt really do anything i had to like physically put her hand on my dick to get her to jerk... anyway

1 time we went to a party i got realyl fuckin drunk and i think i accidently fingered her butt instead of her pussy, although she didnt seem to mind... the reason i think this is because it didnt seem as wet as normal. she was tryin to jerk me but had this fucked up ring or something, i jsut remember it being extremely painful and i had to get her to stop. shit was just so awkward after that night. i asked her if she wanted to fuck and she said ok, i tried to get my dick in but it did not work, i just kept mashing it up against her shit. i have a feeling i may have been hitting butt again. we still talk and she is on that fucking dating website like every single day i see her online and she said she hasnt had time to go on any dates.
[close]
when i become a pal my sole mission would be to get rawb back to positive rep. thank you for sharing this.
Agreed, dude have the gnarliest stories ever

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #127 on: October 01, 2010, 02:53:29 PM »

Goblinshark

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #128 on: October 01, 2010, 04:02:56 PM »


This thread is now the best thing on slap!
Stephen Alcala: chris cole anit a loser
Stephen Alcala: frank grewer is an alcholic
Stephen Alcala: LOSER

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #129 on: October 01, 2010, 05:40:40 PM »
Hey Rawb, I just checked out that plenty of fish site, and I'd suggest switching to okcupid. there are way more attractive women on that site, and you can mack instantly. I hope this will give you more awesome stories to share with us.
 sincerely,
Goblinshark
Stephen Alcala: chris cole anit a loser
Stephen Alcala: frank grewer is an alcholic
Stephen Alcala: LOSER

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #130 on: October 01, 2010, 06:58:41 PM »
 fuck yeah, this rules and put a regular smile on my face
whats crappenin

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #131 on: October 01, 2010, 07:40:18 PM »
classic

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #132 on: October 01, 2010, 10:02:04 PM »

saucy ragu

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #133 on: October 02, 2010, 10:17:37 AM »


As much as I love that other thread, I am not a lying man, this is truth.

Rawb, I had the same kind of experience with an Indian girl too. Vagina just all of a sudden went MIA, coupled with other unfortunate circumstances though. Either way, I'm glad we have this small connection.
Quote from: brent
sorrymom, when 112 sing to you what kinda feelin do it bring to you?

Tyroneshoelaces

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #134 on: October 02, 2010, 10:37:53 AM »
it speaks volumes about slap that rawb does not have +10,000 rep.   this thread is incredible and that MSN shaun of the dead messenger situation was the best thing i have ever read.  
« Last Edit: October 02, 2010, 10:39:30 AM by Tyroneshoelaces »
where is home?

Hobochilli

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #135 on: October 02, 2010, 12:19:21 PM »
Expand Quote

[close]

As much as I love that other thread, I am not a lying man, this is truth.

Rawb, I had the same kind of experience with an Indian girl too. Vagina just all of a sudden went MIA, coupled with other unfortunate circumstances though. Either way, I'm glad we have this small connection.
Hilarious LOL

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #136 on: October 02, 2010, 02:42:15 PM »
it speaks volumes about slap that rawb does not have +10,000 rep.   this thread is incredible and that MSN shaun of the dead messenger situation was the best thing i have ever read.  

It makes more sense at this point to pay your respects by kooking him.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #137 on: October 02, 2010, 05:56:33 PM »
Hey Rawb, I just checked out that plenty of fish site, and I'd suggest switching to okcupid. there are way more attractive women on that site, and you can mack instantly. I hope this will give you more awesome stories to share with us.
 sincerely,
Goblinshark
no. apparently whatever rawb is doing is working wonders based on his stories. dudes living an awesome life.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #138 on: October 02, 2010, 07:45:42 PM »
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 
ONTARIO CANADA

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #139 on: October 02, 2010, 07:55:36 PM »
This is amazing. I have never laughed so hard from a thread. I actually am not even laughing at you rawb, more with you than anything. Your sexual misadventures are amazing, you are an everyman hero like Bukowski or that American Splendor guy. I thought your raps were dumb, but fucking god damn these stories are amazing.
At least with that one chick you got a dvd out of the crushing blow to your ego.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
I quit skating for a time due to piling out

saucy ragu

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #140 on: October 02, 2010, 09:02:39 PM »
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 

I died.
Quote from: brent
sorrymom, when 112 sing to you what kinda feelin do it bring to you?

Prison Wallet

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #141 on: October 02, 2010, 10:28:04 PM »
Rawb you gotta up your confidence with chicks. Offered a bj, asked to t-f her, then settled for a hj? Come on now. Did she even use lotion or just raw dog it? You earned that bj, rode your bike across town for that shit.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #142 on: October 02, 2010, 10:49:52 PM »
i know man but at that point i was just dyin for ANYTHING kinda like right now... the fat chick emailed me sayin she is excited to meet me so hopefully she turns out to be decent... i can take a bit fat, but not like obese brutal unhealthy
ONTARIO CANADA

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #143 on: October 03, 2010, 04:34:10 AM »
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 
trying to trade sex stories with you is like David trying to butt fuck Goliath but Ive got a fucked up/sad/awesome hj story from my innocent times. in middle school, I was an animal that wanted to squirt man juice more than catching pokemons so i solicited a black girl that got in fights with all the other girls into giving me a tuggie in the bathroom. she was going at it and it was bliss untill a sharp sting was felt at the dick vessels. apparently, she jerked it so hard that she ruptured one of the veins and blood was acting as a natural tug lube. i freaked out and pushed her so she hit her head on the urinal. she was now bleeding also. we were both confused and scared of consequences so we agreed to never let out what happened. it was a shitty deal since she got a band aid telling the nurse she hit her head during break while i had to rap my piece with my tightie whities and bleed my shameful blood. luckily the vessel healed and i am still in business.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #144 on: October 03, 2010, 04:43:02 AM »
This is amazing. I have never laughed so hard from a thread. I actually am not even laughing at you rawb, more with you than anything. Your sexual misadventures are amazing, you are an everyman hero like Bukowski or that American Splendor guy. I thought your raps were dumb, but fucking god damn these stories are amazing.
At least with that one chick you got a dvd out of the crushing blow to your ego.
I would give anything to read the Canadian splendor, not so sure about a movie about it tho

Tyroneshoelaces

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #145 on: October 03, 2010, 04:44:28 AM »

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.


seriously one of the greatest things i have ever read.  my life is better because you exist.  sig'ed
where is home?

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #146 on: October 03, 2010, 06:18:39 AM »
Expand Quote
Haha it really psychs me that you'd say that... I get really bummed on myself a lot but I really shouldn't I mean I'm sure shit like this happens to everyone.

I am on my way home from this stupid fuckin wedding and I saw the tim hortons that me and katie used to walk to lasty summer.

My friend dan was dating katie and she was so hot and she played guitar. Dan eventually broke up with her and I moved in on my moms advice.

Anyway so this story is called the last legit handjob.

So I pissed away friday afternoon drinking one june friday and I went home at 10 pm. I went on msn and chad was on and I asked him if he wanted to blaze and he said yeah. My dad knew I was drunk and said I wasn't allowed to drive. I had to also make up a lie about coming home then going right back out again.   I rode my bike about 15km on a dark dark foresty road and we blazed a double swisher blunt if bombs. Katie texted ne sayingf she was chilling at ths dump dump pile of fuck bar in a park and she wanted me to come pick her up.

So I ride my bike down and she is hanging out with greasy 40 year olds and I somehow steal her away and convince one of these fags to give us a ride home in his pick up truck. She was with a friend too.

So we get back to her place and we ditch the friend. She starts literally grabbing my hand and putting multiple fingers inside her vag for blastoise. I go to town on her. Then she gives me that line she doesn't want to do nothing else. I said well we don't have to fuck. She says well I can give you a bj and I say ok, I prefer titty, but even hand is ok. She goes and gets paper towels. She is on top of me and her sis walks in, but doesn't ruin the mood. She hjd me and I slept well. Last legit handjob.

 
[close]
trying to trade sex stories with you is like David trying to butt fuck Goliath but Ive got a fucked up/sad/awesome hj story from my innocent times. in middle school, I was an animal that wanted to squirt man juice more than catching pokemons so i solicited a black girl that got in fights with all the other girls into giving me a tuggie in the bathroom. she was going at it and it was bliss untill a sharp sting was felt at the dick vessels. apparently, she jerked it so hard that she ruptured one of the veins and blood was acting as a natural tug lube. i freaked out and pushed her so she hit her head on the urinal. she was now bleeding also. we were both confused and scared of consequences so we agreed to never let out what happened. it was a shitty deal since she got a band aid telling the nurse she hit her head during break while i had to rap my piece with my tightie whities and bleed my shameful blood. luckily the vessel healed and i am still in business.

holy fuck!!! i would have been freaking! after i fucked around with that indian chick that hurt my dick with the ring i couldnt even jerk off for like a few days, also there was all this weird goo like substance which was probably pussy juice and a lot of long strands of hair all tucked in so i like slept with all that shit just chilling
ONTARIO CANADA

Hercules Rockefeller

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #147 on: October 03, 2010, 10:02:03 AM »
Ok, that urinal story just reminded me of one.

Back in 1999 I was in the Air Force and hanging out at this lame bar on base.  I had just walked in and this girl who worked in another section walks right up and asks if I am with anyone.  I replied that I wasn't and she said "Well come with me back to my room."  While we are walking up the stairs I can clearly see that she is way past drunk, so I decide to just make sure she gets to her room and head back.  She is super drunk and doing the whole mumbling thing as she is trying to get her keys, so I get her keys and open her room up and she walks in and goes to flop on the bed and she kinda misses it and bounces off the corner and goes face first into a nightstand.  She is knocked out cold and blood is just gushing out of her face.  I panic and sit her up and she is just mumbling and doesn't feel a thing.  I had no idea what to do, so I went to the next room over where her supervisor was staying.  Right before I knocked on his door I look at my hand and since I was a plane mechanic, my hands were just beat to shit, and I started wondering if he would think I hit her.  He answers and I give him a very brief rundown and his response was, "Shit, again?"  She had apparently done this sorta thing before.  We went back and she was just kinda sitting there all bloody and touching her lip and crying.  He took care of it from there.  I saw her a few days later, back at the bar.  She had knocked out a couple teeth and her face was just wrecked.  She came up to me and apologized and bought me a beer. 

rawb would have talked her into giving him a bloody handjob first haha

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #148 on: October 03, 2010, 12:19:05 PM »
Ok, that urinal story just reminded me of one.

Back in 1999 I was in the Air Force and hanging out at this lame bar on base.  I had just walked in and this girl who worked in another section walks right up and asks if I am with anyone.  I replied that I wasn't and she said "Well come with me back to my room."  While we are walking up the stairs I can clearly see that she is way past drunk, so I decide to just make sure she gets to her room and head back.  She is super drunk and doing the whole mumbling thing as she is trying to get her keys, so I get her keys and open her room up and she walks in and goes to flop on the bed and she kinda misses it and bounces off the corner and goes face first into a nightstand.  She is knocked out cold and blood is just gushing out of her face.  I panic and sit her up and she is just mumbling and doesn't feel a thing.  I had no idea what to do, so I went to the next room over where her supervisor was staying.  Right before I knocked on his door I look at my hand and since I was a plane mechanic, my hands were just beat to shit, and I started wondering if he would think I hit her.  He answers and I give him a very brief rundown and his response was, "Shit, again?"  She had apparently done this sorta thing before.  We went back and she was just kinda sitting there all bloody and touching her lip and crying.  He took care of it from there.  I saw her a few days later, back at the bar.  She had knocked out a couple teeth and her face was just wrecked.  She came up to me and apologized and bought me a beer. 

I was going to say, I'm pretty surprised she remembered you after that episode. But then again, your eyes are pretty unforgettable.
Quote from: brent
sorrymom, when 112 sing to you what kinda feelin do it bring to you?

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #149 on: October 07, 2010, 02:54:47 PM »
Give us more Rawb